2 00:00:00,300 --> 00:00:02,299 and 3 00:00:39,929 --> 00:00:48,159 Writing as we take let's meet our scribblers in fine feathers. It's loose on does 4 00:00:52,979 --> 00:01:07,260 It's Tom Allen for the feather. It's Jimmy Carr always tickling our fancy 5 00:01:16,769 --> 00:01:57,879 Writing lugos notes your own anymore 6 00:01:58,879 --> 00:02:08,780 I don't even use a pen. Do you not when did when did you last write something down you type it? 7 00:02:08,939 --> 00:02:14,379 Also people my mom is allergic to feathers issue she couldn't have written anything there used to be a name for that 8 00:02:14,379 --> 00:02:16,379 I was that was called being illiterate 9 00:02:20,099 --> 00:02:22,419 They were the writing instrument of choice for almost 10 00:02:22,979 --> 00:02:25,939 1,500 years but they required a lot of upkeep 11 00:02:25,939 --> 00:02:31,259 So basically not very efficient you could write maybe three or four letters at a time and then you'd run out of ink and they 12 00:02:31,259 --> 00:02:34,840 Regularly needed sharpening. So the pen part of a pen knife 13 00:02:35,360 --> 00:02:40,919 Anybody know where the word pen in pen knife comes from Oh from sharpening pets. Yes, and it comes from Pena 14 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:46,280 Which is Latin for feather. So that is why we call it a pen knife. Oh, did you hear that? That was a lovely 15 00:02:49,199 --> 00:02:51,199 Someone in a pub 16 00:02:51,599 --> 00:02:56,479 In order to make quill pen what you're gonna have to do first of all, you're gonna have to catch a bird. Yes 17 00:02:59,599 --> 00:03:03,000 Is the first thing and then there's a hierarchy of quills 18 00:03:03,240 --> 00:03:09,879 So Jimmy you've got the goose there's that like an everyday it is I'm afraid it's working pen common a garden 19 00:03:10,719 --> 00:03:14,400 When you say a live bird, it's not is it live for long. I mean you yeah 20 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:17,080 Yeah, I mean once you've plucked a bird's feather it will grow back 21 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,400 It'll take about a year probably for it to grow back again 22 00:03:19,400 --> 00:03:22,599 So ye olde WH Smith's would have been just a bunch of birds and you're plucking 23 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:32,400 Problem in the 19th century they began to experience a real shortage of quills 24 00:03:32,400 --> 00:03:37,860 Why might that be Oh avian flu or something was it? No, just more people could read and write down 25 00:03:44,469 --> 00:03:47,789 You said earlier that you could write three letters and then you'd have to dip again 26 00:03:47,789 --> 00:03:52,990 You'd have to dip again that why Shakespeare was so good because you really have to think about stuff. Yeah, whereas now, you know 27 00:03:54,110 --> 00:03:56,110 Da Vinci code they can just crack it out 28 00:03:56,110 --> 00:03:59,389 I think that's why some books are just over long because people think oh, it's fine 29 00:03:59,389 --> 00:04:01,629 I can just write a million words and it wasn't so well 30 00:04:01,629 --> 00:04:05,949 I said Dickens quote I would have written you a shorter letter, but I didn't have the time 31 00:04:05,949 --> 00:04:08,990 I didn't have time. Yeah, absolutely because it means you have to think about the noise again 32 00:04:10,110 --> 00:04:13,469 And made them do the noise. They were just startled jimmy that you knew something so 33 00:04:14,509 --> 00:04:26,240 Really interesting thing that clive james wrote about typewriters. He said about the noise that writing used to make 34 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,959 So when he wrote his first memoir, he wrote it on a tight 35 00:04:29,360 --> 00:04:32,160 It was terrific racket all day long. It was a phenomenal noise 36 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:39,439 Every line and I still that's a sign of my age because I still do that when I'm on ipad you'll do that 37 00:04:39,439 --> 00:04:41,439 Yeah, I know it's very annoying 38 00:04:41,600 --> 00:04:44,079 I would like to have that effect when I press return 39 00:04:44,319 --> 00:04:50,160 But it goes ting just so other people on the train in the quiet carriage will be you know when you hear people on their phone 40 00:04:51,120 --> 00:04:57,279 And they haven't turned the keypad tones. Yes. Oh, it's so endearing. Is that was a good noise as well 41 00:04:58,959 --> 00:05:03,199 I just say to them, you know, you can turn that off. Don't you do you like that? Yeah, just say 42 00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:05,360 Do you want me to do it for you? 43 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,000 Throw the phone 44 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:14,079 Now you've got a crow feather, oh, thanks these were for artistic people they were specifically for drawing thin lines 45 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:18,240 So you might be doing an architectural drawing or some such thing. You might be drawing my body 46 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:27,360 You've got a swan quill, oh lovely that's only the best so thank you the first she preferred swan 47 00:05:27,759 --> 00:05:33,519 But the everyday one thomas jefferson kept his own geese. I was so pleased when I got given this and now I feel like 48 00:05:33,839 --> 00:05:35,839 Jimmy 49 00:05:36,399 --> 00:05:39,740 Are you all right? 50 00:05:39,740 --> 00:05:40,939 Yeah, i'm right handed. Yeah 51 00:05:40,939 --> 00:05:46,379 You would need a quill from a left wing if you are right handed because you don't want the feather to be hitting you 52 00:05:46,379 --> 00:05:50,220 In the face must have been awful then if they weren't killing the birds and they were just bald on one side 53 00:05:51,259 --> 00:05:53,740 Just flying in circles going well this one still works 54 00:05:55,819 --> 00:05:59,579 Bald eagles lose a feather on one wing. They will shed it on the same one on the other side 55 00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:02,060 Why might they do that fashion? 56 00:06:05,370 --> 00:06:08,810 So wait, so you pull out one they pull out that's fascinating. Yeah, but what's that though? 57 00:06:11,050 --> 00:06:13,209 Seagull going to the library they're coming back from the library. Oh, sorry 58 00:06:19,160 --> 00:06:23,879 Sandy I have a question. I mean, it's all very well talking about feathers. Why didn't they just sharpen a stick? 59 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:28,439 It has like a little reservoir inside. It's where the ink goes now the ink can go inside 60 00:06:28,519 --> 00:06:32,600 Whereas a stick less successful and in fact one of the sort of forerunners of the fountain pen 61 00:06:32,680 --> 00:06:37,959 They worked out that they could have a little steel holder and you could actually cut one of these into five or six little 62 00:06:37,959 --> 00:06:40,199 Nibs and then we eventually get to the fountain pen 63 00:06:40,360 --> 00:06:43,399 But there are some advantages to the quill because it can hold certain inks 64 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:46,839 Which would clog a fountain pen like india ink for example 65 00:06:47,319 --> 00:06:51,160 Now goose feathers are still used for what purpose might you still use a goose feather? 66 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:57,399 I've got that as well pillows and duvet pillows and duvet 67 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,160 There are no rules 68 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:05,240 Wild west kid 69 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:09,399 Uh one else a goose himself or herself 70 00:07:12,199 --> 00:07:19,399 Not one of the answers we had thought of but yes, yes you said is still weirdly in use by the geese 71 00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:27,120 Fashion fashion. No, so sport. Oh 72 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,480 Archery shuttlecocks shuttlecocks 73 00:07:33,600 --> 00:07:35,600 That was absolutely enormous 74 00:07:35,759 --> 00:07:36,959 Look out 75 00:07:36,959 --> 00:07:54,240 To be made a shuttlecock from the left wing of a goose in order that it spins clockwise when it's struck 76 00:07:55,199 --> 00:07:57,680 What this is a great show i'm learning 77 00:07:58,480 --> 00:08:05,100 Name federer like in uh as in roger federer great stuff a tennis player. Yeah, okay 78 00:08:05,100 --> 00:08:07,100 His name means one who trades in quills 79 00:08:07,660 --> 00:08:09,660 So really he should have been a badminton player 80 00:08:10,459 --> 00:08:12,459 Does he know 81 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,879 I bet he'd pick it up wouldn't he badminton. Do you think yeah? 82 00:08:17,759 --> 00:08:19,759 You've wasted your life roger 83 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:22,720 The real money's in badminton 84 00:08:24,079 --> 00:08:26,399 Now hens poised for the next question 85 00:08:27,120 --> 00:08:30,000 What do you think these q words mean? 86 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:39,039 Uh quokka wodja, yeah, what do you reckon? Is that somebody who can't pronounce their r's properly asking roger to hurry up 87 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:49,480 Quokka wodja 88 00:08:50,360 --> 00:08:53,720 Jonathan ross asking roger federer to hurry up 89 00:08:55,399 --> 00:08:57,399 They'll be here in a minute. Yeah 90 00:08:58,759 --> 00:09:00,759 Like a thing you do 91 00:09:00,759 --> 00:09:04,840 Yes, it is sort of a thing you do, you know, those wooden puppets that you get the ones with the strings 92 00:09:04,919 --> 00:09:05,159 Oh, yes 93 00:09:05,159 --> 00:09:06,759 So it's the person pulling the strings 94 00:09:06,759 --> 00:09:13,000 But he became a name for politicians who one presumed were having their strings pulled by somebody else god 95 00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:17,500 There are so many of them. Yeah, that's a great word. Isn't it? You quokka wodja 96 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:24,600 I don't think it would gain you any points though would it in the house of commons if you stood up and went you are a 97 00:09:28,909 --> 00:09:30,909 Right next one, let's have a look 98 00:09:30,909 --> 00:09:36,049 Who's got a pick quick quick stick quick sticks. I think that's early onset erections 99 00:09:38,350 --> 00:09:42,669 And that happens all the time when I walk into room early on set 100 00:09:44,429 --> 00:09:46,529 Half past six in the evening. Oh my god already 101 00:09:48,750 --> 00:09:51,470 Hurry up doesn't it quick sticks it just means right away chop chop 102 00:09:51,870 --> 00:09:56,350 Doesn't mary poppins say i see mary poppins. She says quick sticks. I think yeah, that's what she's talking about 103 00:09:57,070 --> 00:10:00,830 I love that film. I think it's great the original i'm talking about the original haven't seen the new one 104 00:10:00,909 --> 00:10:03,549 Maybe not it's just not julie andrews. So what can I say? 105 00:10:03,710 --> 00:10:08,110 I know and i quite fancy emily blunt and you're not supposed to fancy mary poppins. No, that's very bad 106 00:10:08,110 --> 00:10:10,370 I'm quite wrong. You get a quick sticks around mary poppins 107 00:10:14,269 --> 00:10:16,269 Quick sticks around emily blunt 108 00:10:16,269 --> 00:10:18,269 Quick 109 00:10:18,350 --> 00:10:24,809 In the 1440s it was criminal slang for you know escaping from the police 110 00:10:25,610 --> 00:10:30,570 Sounds so innocent. Doesn't it? What a wonderful time. That must have been like come on lads quick sticks 111 00:10:32,009 --> 00:10:34,409 It comes in the old bill the old bills come in 112 00:10:35,690 --> 00:10:38,730 You and I have been marvelous in one of those films. Oh a lovely eling comedy 113 00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:46,190 Jimmy what's going to be a quick quake buttock is the old english term for twerking 114 00:10:46,750 --> 00:10:53,889 Is it something to do with being nervous or yet it's coward it's literally shaking in your ass 115 00:10:53,889 --> 00:10:57,409 It's a coward. It's a coward. It's a quaker watcher and a quake butter. Yes, exactly 116 00:10:59,250 --> 00:11:01,490 Poultron is also a coward a dastard 117 00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:07,409 A poultron. Oh, it's a great word. It's a great word comes from an italian word for sluggered lazy person 118 00:11:07,809 --> 00:11:12,690 And dastard, I love somebody who's cowardly acts in an underhand manner. It's more than cowardly though, isn't it? 119 00:11:12,690 --> 00:11:17,970 It's sneaky underhand. It's really an underhand thing. Yeah, what else we got cough tide something to do with Finnish 120 00:11:18,049 --> 00:11:22,529 In your drink, I imagine it is it more time for a drink. I thought it was the the dirty stuff 121 00:11:22,529 --> 00:11:24,529 That's left in the bath after a festival 122 00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:31,490 Quaff tide so half of it is danish which half tide quaff tide tide 123 00:11:31,570 --> 00:11:33,809 So danish word for time is two 124 00:11:34,289 --> 00:11:38,769 So when we say time and tide waits for no man, it's really redundant because tide means time 125 00:11:39,090 --> 00:11:42,929 Do we get an awful lot of the nautical terms from the you viking people? 126 00:11:43,330 --> 00:11:45,169 Yes, these are we are we've been busy 127 00:11:45,169 --> 00:11:49,649 But we also bring you philosophical things like the concept of dreaming is a scandinavian idea really 128 00:11:50,129 --> 00:11:52,129 What did we do before we knew you just slept? 129 00:11:53,169 --> 00:11:56,799 Now wake up screaming 130 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:01,360 So the cough part comes from irish gaelic and probably means cup 131 00:12:01,759 --> 00:12:05,679 So time for your cup or time for your drink. It's a lovely word, which I think we should bring back 132 00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:07,679 I think we've got one left up there 133 00:12:09,279 --> 00:12:10,799 So putting out a fire 134 00:12:10,799 --> 00:12:14,500 Yeah, so it's an obsolete word for something that puts out a fire, but it was used sort of figuratively 135 00:12:14,899 --> 00:12:17,860 So somebody would put out any wonderful thoughts you might be having 136 00:12:18,899 --> 00:12:23,460 Like a fun sponge it is when you're passionate about something nobody should try and quench coal 137 00:12:23,539 --> 00:12:27,059 If nobody should try and put out the passion that you have. Oh, I mean if somebody said that to me 138 00:12:27,059 --> 00:12:29,059 It would really quench go my whole 139 00:12:29,220 --> 00:12:31,220 quick sticks 140 00:12:32,019 --> 00:12:35,460 Okay, that's a few of our favorite q words, but 141 00:12:36,100 --> 00:12:38,740 Where might you be well advised to skip the q? 142 00:12:39,220 --> 00:12:42,980 Well, they don't like to queue in france or italy or italy 143 00:12:43,059 --> 00:12:45,940 Really very pushy, especially the elderly in italy. Yeah, right 144 00:12:46,340 --> 00:12:50,980 They burrow in the little italian women they burrow right into the heart of the queue and then you can't get them out 145 00:12:50,980 --> 00:12:52,980 They're in the they're in the front 146 00:12:53,139 --> 00:12:57,460 I like that a tiny italian woman just pushing by everyone to the front 147 00:12:57,460 --> 00:13:03,379 I go scoozie scoozie scoozie scoozie scoozie and then she's in the front and no one knows how to stop her 148 00:13:05,299 --> 00:13:09,940 She's not got long left. I think they should be allowed together. Yeah, she's gonna die. People with kids should be right at the back 149 00:13:09,940 --> 00:13:11,940 They've got ages. Yeah 150 00:13:12,100 --> 00:13:15,539 Maybe they should just do queuing by longevity. How long do you think? 151 00:13:16,740 --> 00:13:20,820 You shouldn't queue in hospital. Well, my friend skipped the queue, but she'd cut her finger off 152 00:13:20,899 --> 00:13:23,779 So they were like, yeah come to the front. Yes, that's quite a serious thing 153 00:13:23,940 --> 00:13:25,940 Well as well because she cut when they come out and go 154 00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:29,299 Uh, who's next she was not in a position to go like 155 00:13:32,259 --> 00:13:34,259 So it's not actually about 156 00:13:34,419 --> 00:13:39,779 Queuing in terms of a physical queue. It's about the letter q the letter q. Yes 157 00:13:40,740 --> 00:13:44,500 Oh surname smith you don't need a queue in that skip it 158 00:13:45,860 --> 00:13:52,440 I just give myself 10 points there 159 00:13:53,240 --> 00:13:55,240 Are there some languages where there isn't a queue? 160 00:13:55,240 --> 00:14:01,720 Well, the letter q was actually banned in turkey until 2013 along with two other letters the x and the w 161 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,200 It's language thing. It's a language thing darling 162 00:14:04,200 --> 00:14:09,080 But the real issue is that the turkish language doesn't use the letter q but the kurdish one does 163 00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:12,840 And there was a lot of anti-kurdish sentiment in turkey 164 00:14:13,080 --> 00:14:18,039 And so those letters were not allowed to appear in official documents and people were not allowed to use them when naming their children 165 00:14:18,279 --> 00:14:20,679 Until the early 1990s it was illegal 166 00:14:21,240 --> 00:14:26,759 In turkey for the 15 to 20 million kurds you're talking about about 20 percent of the population to use any kurdish at all 167 00:14:27,240 --> 00:14:33,960 In public and it was only since 2013 that you are actually allowed to use the letter q once more in turkey in turkey 168 00:14:34,600 --> 00:14:36,600 Would they not have quavers then? 169 00:14:37,559 --> 00:14:39,559 Well, that's why there's been an outcry 170 00:14:40,519 --> 00:14:45,480 People are a little bit annoyed about the sort of repression of the kurdish people, but mainly quavers those lovely cheesy snacks 171 00:14:46,120 --> 00:14:49,799 The earliest version of a q is finnishian which was known as the quaff 172 00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:52,120 It dates from about 10 000 bc 173 00:14:52,360 --> 00:14:53,879 Quaff is thought to have meant monkey 174 00:14:53,879 --> 00:14:57,399 I think the idea is that the top bit is a sort of face and then that's the tail of the monkey 175 00:14:57,480 --> 00:15:01,159 Although this is how unsure we are another theory is that it's a sewing needle 176 00:15:01,639 --> 00:15:04,759 And actually we have kind of similar things now, you know the at sign 177 00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:06,840 In dutch, that's known as the monkey's tail 178 00:15:06,840 --> 00:15:12,279 It is called eppensjachter and then the klammer auf in german, which is the spider or the hanging monkey 179 00:15:12,360 --> 00:15:16,600 What's the name for the at sign? There must be a fancy word. I think people just call it the at sign in danish 180 00:15:16,600 --> 00:15:22,360 It's called snabel, which means elephant's trunk. Oh, I thought it meant snail which would make perfect sense 181 00:15:22,360 --> 00:15:26,600 But it kind of looks like an elephant's trunk. Do you not think have you ever seen an elephant bend its trunk? 182 00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:28,600 Behind 183 00:15:31,159 --> 00:15:35,960 By lots and lots of counts q is the least common letter in the english language and actually we don't really need it at all 184 00:15:36,120 --> 00:15:38,679 Are you saying this whole series is a waste of time? 185 00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:45,240 So this series could just be called i well, it could be called kw would make the same sound wouldn't it? Oh, yes 186 00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:53,909 They must be turkish yeah 187 00:16:01,139 --> 00:16:04,019 The romans themselves seem to be aware that the q wasn't really necessary 188 00:16:04,019 --> 00:16:11,299 So in 90 ad a roman emperor stated that the letter q was redundant except for the purpose of attaching vowels to itself 189 00:16:11,539 --> 00:16:13,460 and his name was 190 00:16:13,460 --> 00:16:15,059 quinton 191 00:16:15,059 --> 00:16:17,059 quintillion 192 00:16:17,139 --> 00:16:22,899 Then you'd have to have the k e 2 you'd have to have k w the queen would be k w w 193 00:16:23,059 --> 00:16:25,059 And I don't think people would go with it. No, I don't think 194 00:16:25,700 --> 00:16:28,580 Try and stop the english using the q you'll have a fight on your hands 195 00:16:29,539 --> 00:16:36,580 There's lots of languages without it. Estonian, Icelandic, Latvian, Polish, Slovenian, Denmark abolished the q from native words 196 00:16:36,879 --> 00:16:38,100 1872 197 00:16:38,100 --> 00:16:39,460 Oh, why? 198 00:16:39,460 --> 00:16:42,419 It isn't needed. The danes are very kind of organized 199 00:16:42,500 --> 00:16:46,740 We have a word encled which doesn't really translate into english and it means beautiful through simplicity 200 00:16:46,980 --> 00:16:50,980 And I think we just thought that's not encled enough. We'll just get rid of it. That's not that's a lot 201 00:16:50,980 --> 00:16:54,230 Why they do so many killings though? 202 00:16:56,149 --> 00:16:58,070 You do do a lot of killings and you know you do 203 00:16:58,470 --> 00:17:06,920 I'm going to play the sound of someone typing. What do you think they are trying to say? 204 00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:25,240 No, any shakespeare. We're only monkeys they might we know just from the sound what somebody is actually trying to say 205 00:17:25,319 --> 00:17:29,720 Do they have a slightly different pitch all of the buttons? Yeah, so it's the qwerty keyboard 206 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:34,039 And it can be translated if you like to work out what we are typing 207 00:17:34,519 --> 00:17:39,400 If you had just a microphone hackers would be able to discover your logins your password 208 00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:43,240 Any other confidential information that you might be typing because each key 209 00:17:43,640 --> 00:17:50,359 Hits a different part of the keyboard's underplate and there is a slightly different sound for every single one and there's an algorithm 210 00:17:50,599 --> 00:17:56,279 Which can be used to work out which sound corresponds with which letter jimmy looks worried. I might have to learn to write again 211 00:17:58,279 --> 00:18:00,279 Presumably for each keyboard it would be different 212 00:18:00,519 --> 00:18:03,240 Well, you just need 10 minutes with one keyboard with the microphone 213 00:18:03,400 --> 00:18:06,039 Is this for a typewriter or for a keyboard for a computer keyboard? 214 00:18:06,359 --> 00:18:13,319 Computer scientists at the university of california in berkeley estimate hackers would need 10 minutes and they could crack anybody's computer code 215 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:15,079 What about an ipad? 216 00:18:15,079 --> 00:18:18,839 I don't think it would work on that but it would work on a computer. Do your dirty work on an ipad jimmy 217 00:18:20,519 --> 00:18:22,519 My dirty work 218 00:18:23,640 --> 00:18:26,059 And now I imagine that dirty work is jimmy's password 219 00:18:28,200 --> 00:18:33,000 But what is it about boys was you don't type with with two hands like that every time i'm on a train 220 00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:35,000 There's some boy typing and he's doing this 221 00:18:35,640 --> 00:18:38,119 Maybe steven did me proud that little typing thing 222 00:18:39,400 --> 00:18:40,279 When I was at school 223 00:18:40,279 --> 00:18:44,920 We were all taught to type and they used to tie an apron to the top of the typewriter and then round your neck 224 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:49,720 And then so you had to type underneath the apron so you couldn't see the boys course andy or talk to dick tape 225 00:19:01,920 --> 00:19:03,920 The key part of that word is dick 226 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:18,559 That was very good, could you just take that down for us we can actually reveal on what was being typed 227 00:19:22,079 --> 00:19:24,079 Say 228 00:19:33,920 --> 00:19:35,359 There was astonishing 229 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:40,480 Statistician in the early 1900s called roger babson and he came up with a rather odd typing innovation 230 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:45,359 He suffered from tb and he believed that fresh air was going to be the answer to him and his condition 231 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:52,240 So his entire office was so flooded with fresh. He always had the windows open and all his stuff female obviously 232 00:19:52,319 --> 00:19:54,319 They wore hooded onesies 233 00:19:54,960 --> 00:19:57,119 It looks like the handmaid's tail doesn't it 234 00:19:58,720 --> 00:20:00,720 And then he got them to type but if you look 235 00:20:01,119 --> 00:20:04,400 Can you see the woman she was so cold that she had to use little hammers? 236 00:20:05,039 --> 00:20:07,599 In order to type see the little hooked hammers there 237 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:12,880 And apparently she got to got up to a very good speed with the member of kkk or not 238 00:20:15,880 --> 00:20:18,759 Comparatively recently the men have typed at all. Do we know why? 239 00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:24,759 Sometimes men have bigger fingers. I actually don't I was blessed with a narrow wrist 240 00:20:28,289 --> 00:20:33,809 But men men sometimes have wider fingers or especially if you see like a a man who works in the garden 241 00:20:33,970 --> 00:20:36,869 But it's very big fingers. Tell me more about this guy in the garden 242 00:20:40,210 --> 00:20:43,250 No, it's nothing to do with that the very first mass produced typewriters 243 00:20:43,490 --> 00:20:49,890 Um, they advertised them showing women using them. The idea was this machine is so simple. Even a woman can use it and men 244 00:20:50,369 --> 00:20:56,529 Did not want to be emasculated by being seen to do typing and then it generally was 245 00:20:56,930 --> 00:20:59,890 Agreed in offices women would spell and type better 246 00:21:00,049 --> 00:21:05,490 They would raise the tone of the office and then they would marry and leave and not require a pension 247 00:21:07,569 --> 00:21:11,410 If you watch those things like mad men if you watch kind of anything set back then it's just extraordinary 248 00:21:11,650 --> 00:21:15,890 Yeah when I very first started at the bbc, uh, so we're talking about the early 1980s 249 00:21:16,049 --> 00:21:18,049 No man typed all the men were producers 250 00:21:18,049 --> 00:21:22,210 There was a big pool of secretaries and the men would speak into a dictaphone and the women would type it up 251 00:21:22,210 --> 00:21:24,210 So there was no typing done by men at all 252 00:21:24,369 --> 00:21:27,170 I'm using a dictaphone use your finger like everybody else 253 00:21:29,569 --> 00:21:33,329 Um those brothers that we played at the very beginning it's from the typewriter symphony 254 00:21:33,410 --> 00:21:35,890 It was actually the theme tune on the news quiz on radio 4 255 00:21:35,970 --> 00:21:42,130 It still is a guy called leroy anderson american composer who wrote it where the typewriters use as a percussion instrument 256 00:21:42,210 --> 00:21:44,369 It's one of my favorites. Have a quick look at this video 257 00:21:49,329 --> 00:22:11,009 Isn't that wonderful that's a guy that forgot his instrument and refused to back down 258 00:22:11,650 --> 00:22:17,410 It's a trained percussionist who does it they slightly cheat they modify the typewriter so only two keys are working 259 00:22:17,650 --> 00:22:21,170 So otherwise you'd get it jammed wouldn't you if you played like that? I absolutely love it 260 00:22:21,730 --> 00:22:27,569 Now onto a question about spy novels. What was the name of james bond's gadget expert q q 261 00:22:32,259 --> 00:22:33,140 No 262 00:22:33,140 --> 00:22:38,180 In the films but not in the novels q does not appear and you know, there are james bond films 263 00:22:38,980 --> 00:22:40,980 Yes, and he's called q enums. Yes 264 00:22:41,220 --> 00:22:47,220 It's all right, isn't it but in the original novels only the q branch is mentioned and in the question 265 00:22:47,460 --> 00:22:51,859 I did ask about the spy novels. Oh, that's the problem. I don't listen 266 00:22:53,539 --> 00:22:57,140 No, because you're a man and you're too busy dictating 267 00:22:59,539 --> 00:23:04,259 So q the character q is thought to be based on a real inventor called charles frazer smith 268 00:23:04,660 --> 00:23:07,940 And he worked for the clothing department at the ministry of supply 269 00:23:08,259 --> 00:23:11,140 Of course his real job was coming up with gadgets for the secret service 270 00:23:11,380 --> 00:23:15,460 They were called q gadgets after the world war one q ships 271 00:23:15,859 --> 00:23:21,940 So these were warships which were disguised as freighters and they got their name from their home port queenstown in ireland 272 00:23:22,819 --> 00:23:26,579 And they looked like a perfectly ordinary freighter and they had cargo and all that kind of thing 273 00:23:26,660 --> 00:23:31,700 In fact was to lure u-boats up to the surface and as soon as the u-boat came up 274 00:23:31,700 --> 00:23:36,980 They would reveal their unbelievable armaments. I mean unbelievably brave work 44 q ships were destroyed 275 00:23:36,980 --> 00:23:42,980 But they also managed to destroy 15 u-boats. Uh, so that is where the q thing comes from. It's kind of these q ships 276 00:23:43,460 --> 00:23:45,460 This is uh desmond lewellen 277 00:23:45,460 --> 00:23:50,259 He was the very first q in the films showing some of the devices but frazer smith's own devices 278 00:23:50,660 --> 00:23:56,819 Include a map saw and compass hidden inside a hairbrush. Who doesn't want one of those? Oh, yeah, that would stick out with me 279 00:23:56,819 --> 00:23:58,819 I think 280 00:23:58,819 --> 00:24:02,740 The best one was the the man with the golden gun. He gives him a fake nipple 281 00:24:02,900 --> 00:24:07,859 And what was the well because scaramanga this who's like the super baddie in the movie has three nipples 282 00:24:07,859 --> 00:24:10,099 But no one knows it's him. So james one has to pretend to be him 283 00:24:10,339 --> 00:24:13,460 So they give him here's your gadget for the film. It's a fake nipple 284 00:24:15,220 --> 00:24:16,099 This is a genuine one 285 00:24:16,099 --> 00:24:19,700 He designed a pipe which could be smoked without ruining the map which was hidden inside the bowl 286 00:24:19,940 --> 00:24:22,119 But he did this by lining the pipe with asbestos 287 00:24:23,140 --> 00:24:25,700 and he created a map of invisible ink which was 288 00:24:26,339 --> 00:24:30,740 Able to be seen by using dousing it in the only liquid you'd always have to add 289 00:24:31,700 --> 00:24:36,259 Urine absolutely right and he also came up with the idea of developing garlic 290 00:24:36,799 --> 00:24:42,359 Infused chocolate bars for british agents so that when they dropped into france, they would smell convincingly 291 00:24:45,059 --> 00:24:50,259 What's the least plausible gadget from a james bond film that you can't think of wasn't there an invisible car at one point? 292 00:24:50,500 --> 00:24:53,640 Yeah, my favorite is a submarine in the shape of an alligator 293 00:24:54,599 --> 00:24:56,200 Uh 294 00:24:56,200 --> 00:25:00,119 In octopusi, uh, there was dentonite which was explosive toothpaste 295 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:05,880 Uh a ski pole rocket launcher and bagpipes flamethrower. That is very good 296 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:11,079 Actually ian fleming had his own sort of bond-like gadget when he finished casino royale 297 00:25:11,079 --> 00:25:14,920 He was so pleased he had a gold plated typewriter made for himself 298 00:25:15,400 --> 00:25:20,299 And his nephew fergus fleming said that his literary acquaintances considered it the height of vulgarity 299 00:25:21,259 --> 00:25:23,259 At least because he was the only man who could type 300 00:25:25,900 --> 00:25:31,099 I love love love the music to james bond. Let's have a quick listen to the original james bond theme 301 00:25:33,019 --> 00:25:48,720 The composer is a man called montey norman and it actually comes from a song about a man with an unlucky sneeze 302 00:25:50,079 --> 00:25:52,079 Which he reworked into the james bond theme 303 00:25:52,160 --> 00:25:55,920 It was originally called bad sign good sign and it didn't sound at all 304 00:25:56,400 --> 00:25:58,960 Like the original song have a listen to this 305 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:08,200 Can I have some onion barges, please? 306 00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:22,200 This is surely bullshit 307 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:26,519 A house for mr 308 00:26:26,519 --> 00:26:27,240 Biswas 309 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:31,240 It's a wonderful novel and mr biswas has a terrible sneeze and it's unlucky for him 310 00:26:31,480 --> 00:26:35,960 And montey norman wrote a musical version of this which was not a huge success 311 00:26:35,960 --> 00:26:39,400 He was later hired to write the music for the first bond film, which was dr 312 00:26:39,480 --> 00:26:43,799 No, he reworked the theme tune into the james bond theme tune 313 00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:47,880 So we thought we'd do a bit of i'm going to call it query oaky because it starts with a q 314 00:26:49,960 --> 00:26:51,960 We're going to try and see if we can sing 315 00:26:52,599 --> 00:26:56,279 The original james bond theme tune so the words are going to come up on the screen for you 316 00:26:57,960 --> 00:26:59,960 So 317 00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:01,960 I was born 318 00:27:28,220 --> 00:27:31,339 You know, I now I now don't believe you when you say it wasn't a huge hit 319 00:27:33,259 --> 00:27:35,259 I can't understand 320 00:27:35,660 --> 00:27:37,660 That than james bond 321 00:27:37,660 --> 00:27:42,700 He fell into the village pond and drowned. It's a very sad story. Is it true story? Uh, no 322 00:27:44,859 --> 00:27:48,480 We've been expecting you mr bond we heard you sneezing all the way down the corridor 323 00:27:57,279 --> 00:28:03,359 Here is my next question, what would you find in mrs q's memoirs 324 00:28:04,319 --> 00:28:07,279 I like the image you've used by the way that you think um, 325 00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:10,960 A key might be needed to undo a piece of string 326 00:28:13,339 --> 00:28:18,539 It's just possibly the key to her heart my darling. You don't know about love to you. I've never experienced it 327 00:28:19,819 --> 00:28:23,740 Well, I joke I joke i've had a lot of love on very short-term basis 328 00:28:27,319 --> 00:28:29,319 My dressing room door is always open 329 00:28:30,920 --> 00:28:32,920 And mine has a key so 330 00:28:36,480 --> 00:28:42,160 Early 19th century mrs q mrs q's memoirs was a a fake name for someone with a salacious 331 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:48,160 Memoir, yeah, it was a woman called harriet wilson. She was a courtesan. I love that we say sex worker now 332 00:28:49,359 --> 00:28:54,160 So she started her career at age 15 as a mistress of lord craven and she took lots of lovers 333 00:28:54,160 --> 00:28:55,599 Some people say the prince regent 334 00:28:55,599 --> 00:28:59,359 Uh, we have no evidence for that when she announced that she was going to write her memoirs 335 00:28:59,599 --> 00:29:04,960 She said any concerned gentleman could pay 200 pounds to avoid being written about 336 00:29:05,519 --> 00:29:09,599 Among those that she wrote to and said do you want me to leave you out was arthur wellsley duke of 337 00:29:10,160 --> 00:29:15,039 Wellington who rather famously said publish and be damned she was 10th out of 15 children 338 00:29:15,440 --> 00:29:20,799 And three of her sisters also became courtesans. Um fanny was the first to take up the trade 339 00:29:22,480 --> 00:29:26,079 Just saying I love this as she took up the trade with a man called. Mr 340 00:29:26,160 --> 00:29:31,119 Trench and when her sisters asked why she replied I refused him the whole of the first day 341 00:29:31,440 --> 00:29:33,839 Had I done so the second he would have been in a fever 342 00:29:34,240 --> 00:29:38,960 So published in 1825 it was four volumes and it was 343 00:29:39,359 --> 00:29:43,279 I mean unbelievably popular so popular a barrier had to be set up outside the publisher's offices 344 00:29:43,519 --> 00:29:47,680 And the publishers and wilson went on to make 10 000 pounds which at the time was an enormous amount of money 345 00:29:47,839 --> 00:29:49,839 It has the great opening line these memoirs 346 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:56,079 I shall not say how and why I became at the age of 15 the mistress of the earl of craven 347 00:29:56,400 --> 00:30:01,119 It's a fantastic opening. Um anybody think of a book that kind of mirrors this situation recently 348 00:30:01,200 --> 00:30:07,680 Well, I suppose stormy daniels stormy daniels absolutely, uh, she said that of course that donald trump had paid to keep their affairs 349 00:30:08,720 --> 00:30:11,359 I've not read the book. I've watched a lot of her films, but 350 00:30:13,440 --> 00:30:19,440 A couple similar areas the chapter concerning trump begins. Okay, so did you just skip to this chapter? 351 00:30:22,240 --> 00:30:25,440 What she says is my life is a lot more interesting than an encounter with donald trump 352 00:30:25,440 --> 00:30:28,720 But I get it still of all the people who are who I had sex with 353 00:30:28,960 --> 00:30:31,359 Why couldn't the world obsess over one of the hot ones? 354 00:30:33,680 --> 00:30:35,920 And then she went on to her make america horny again 355 00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:42,240 She's working as a stand-up comedian now really yeah, she's funny she's funny 356 00:30:43,039 --> 00:30:47,599 Most controversial book in history of what should we call it adult literature? Would it be lady chatterley's love? 357 00:30:47,680 --> 00:30:56,079 It would absolutely 1960 was prosecuted under the 1959 obscene publications act presumably those memoirs had very salacious bits within them 358 00:30:56,319 --> 00:30:58,319 I think it was really more socially shocking 359 00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:02,880 Now lady chatterley's lover because you have an upper-class woman having an affair with a working-class man 360 00:31:02,960 --> 00:31:08,400 And that was just seen as disgusting. I always thought the class thing in those kind of books is interesting 361 00:31:08,559 --> 00:31:11,599 Like if you look at 50 shades of gray if that was 362 00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:16,000 A working-class guy driving a van that was doing all that it'd be a very different book. Yeah 363 00:31:16,880 --> 00:31:20,160 He's a billionaire being awful to her you go. Oh, he's very rich though 364 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:23,359 He's got a helicopter. If he was doing it all whilst he was driving a van that would be 365 00:31:26,160 --> 00:31:31,759 In lady chatterley's lover the in the in the case the defense prosecutor mervin griffith jones pleaded with jurors 366 00:31:32,079 --> 00:31:35,599 Is it a book that you would wish your wife or your servants to read? 367 00:31:36,559 --> 00:31:38,559 He really had his finger on the pulse didn't he? Yeah 368 00:31:39,119 --> 00:31:42,240 The jury returned not guilty and sales absolutely soared 369 00:31:42,960 --> 00:31:46,640 The best bit of publicity they could have asked. Oh darling three million books in three months 370 00:31:46,880 --> 00:31:50,880 It was absolutely fantastic. In fact in america, they used to have a phrase banned in boston 371 00:31:50,880 --> 00:31:53,059 So boston was seen as a rather puritanical 372 00:31:53,700 --> 00:31:58,599 City and if you wrote banned in boston across the book, it helps sell it enormously 373 00:31:59,859 --> 00:32:06,660 Seen as an immoral work. Wow now from one form of artistic expression to another. What is the most disgusting panel? 374 00:32:06,900 --> 00:32:08,740 You can think of 375 00:32:08,740 --> 00:32:13,380 Oh goodness, i've forgotten about that picture. It does look like i'm sort of merging into alan 376 00:32:16,259 --> 00:32:19,720 I'd like to take a moment sandy to thank you for the nasal trimmers. You got me for christmas 377 00:32:20,599 --> 00:32:24,920 Yeah, it does look like you're saying like look i've got nothing on my nose, okay 378 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:32,039 So it's the letter q we are looking for what else might you have in a i'm absolutely stumped actually 379 00:32:32,119 --> 00:32:36,680 Okay, so the answer is quilts quilts quilts. Well, we were never going to get quilts 380 00:32:37,079 --> 00:32:39,079 But I think that is the point of the program 381 00:32:40,039 --> 00:32:44,119 Well, then we did really well. Yes, you did very well. Um, there's a woman called ana dimitrio 382 00:32:44,279 --> 00:32:48,920 She was the 2018 president of the science and art section of the british science association 383 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:54,440 And she made a quilt where every panel was impregnated with m r sa 384 00:32:55,059 --> 00:32:59,720 Bacteria now, of course, she'd heavily treated it so it wasn't going to kill you to actually hold the quilt up 385 00:32:59,960 --> 00:33:01,960 It is staph illococcus 386 00:33:02,759 --> 00:33:10,359 Or rios bacteria. So mrsa is the deadly strain of this and uh, what she was trying to do was to highlight 387 00:33:10,839 --> 00:33:17,079 The problem of antibiotic resistance. Oh unpleasantly. I think she got the bacteria out of her own nose and grew it on the quilt 388 00:33:19,880 --> 00:33:23,880 We did that to the native americans, didn't we we gave them quilts with smallpox 389 00:33:24,279 --> 00:33:24,759 You're right 390 00:33:24,759 --> 00:33:29,079 They did give out blankets infected with smallpox in order to subdue they called it the native american 391 00:33:29,160 --> 00:33:34,839 What point was she making with she's just trying to show us the real issue that we're having at the moment with antibiotic resistance 392 00:33:34,839 --> 00:33:38,039 Someone tell me the problem isn't us taking antibiotics when we feel poorly 393 00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:42,759 The problem is if you eat a piece of meat, yeah, they've been pumped so full of antibiotics 394 00:33:42,759 --> 00:33:45,160 So it's not to get ill that it's in all of us. Anyway, yeah 395 00:33:46,039 --> 00:33:49,799 It's in it's in milk is yeah, it is I mean we have far too much exposure to antibiotics 396 00:33:50,039 --> 00:33:54,519 Don't take them as it were willy-nilly. Don't take them willy-nilly. It's very painful. Yeah 397 00:33:59,480 --> 00:34:01,480 The whole thing about making quilts and so on goes much further 398 00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:03,400 So during various wars in the 19th century 399 00:34:03,400 --> 00:34:08,039 It was very common for soldiers to make a rather intricate quilts often made from scraps of uniform 400 00:34:08,199 --> 00:34:14,360 They've been known as convalescence quilts and some of the most complex examples have up to 25 000 pieces of fabric in them 401 00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:18,780 When I was a child duvets were called continental quilts 402 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:26,840 I just remember going to a hotel and it didn't have sheets and blankets and we really didn't know what to do 403 00:34:30,199 --> 00:34:32,199 Some of them did fall off they slide 404 00:34:33,639 --> 00:34:39,239 They first came to britain in about 1964 and it was habitat who advertised them saying that you could make a bed 405 00:34:39,559 --> 00:34:42,760 Uh so quickly just a few shakes that even a man could do it 406 00:34:44,360 --> 00:34:50,360 How wrong they work is getting that cover on yeah, this is what we're gonna do so you've each got a quilt 407 00:34:51,400 --> 00:34:58,039 And a cover right? Oh, so we're gonna have a very quick competition. Couldn't be easier to see who can 408 00:34:58,920 --> 00:35:04,039 Be quickest. Hang on. Hang on. I haven't done the bow yet. I haven't got my key. Get your quilt out 409 00:35:07,119 --> 00:35:10,719 We're gonna do it all at the same time. Okay. Okay. Is everybody 410 00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:17,519 I can't find the opening sandy. Can we open it? Where do we start? I can't find my thing. Okay, ready one two three 411 00:35:21,599 --> 00:36:10,679 Anyone who's amazed it stayed on 412 00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:22,949 We specially got a duvet cover for you with blue whales on. We were very I think 413 00:36:23,750 --> 00:36:26,469 No question about it. Lou was the winner there. It was absolutely fantastic 414 00:36:26,949 --> 00:36:37,880 Now put your security blankets away because it's time for the round that we call general ignorance fingers on buzzers, please 415 00:36:38,199 --> 00:36:42,199 What happens to dr. Jekyll's trousers when he becomes mr. Hyde 416 00:36:42,920 --> 00:36:51,059 And they they rip don't they rip? Why do they not rip? 417 00:36:51,619 --> 00:36:53,380 Because he's not the hulk 418 00:36:53,380 --> 00:36:58,550 Well, uh, he becomes smaller and kind of hunched in like a beast 419 00:36:58,789 --> 00:37:03,829 Yeah, so they should fall down is the answer because in the book Edward Hyde is much smaller than dr 420 00:37:03,909 --> 00:37:06,869 Jekyll the reason for his short stature is he represents dr 421 00:37:06,869 --> 00:37:12,389 Jekyll's evil side so the bit that he's been trying to suppress as he lives as decently and as morally as he can 422 00:37:12,710 --> 00:37:18,469 It's the films and the tv that show him as big more like the the incredible hulk and the hulk is based on that 423 00:37:18,469 --> 00:37:24,230 Isn't it? Yes exactly and robert louis stevenson's tale was inspired by a man called deacon brody 424 00:37:24,710 --> 00:37:31,670 He lived in 18th century edinburgh and by day he was the most marvelous respectable cabinet maker lockmaker member of the town council 425 00:37:31,989 --> 00:37:37,670 By night he used the keys that he made to break into their homes and steal their stuff 426 00:37:37,829 --> 00:37:42,949 This is him with his accomplice george smith stick out the fact that he was a chicken 427 00:37:44,630 --> 00:37:55,750 Anyway, robert louis stevenson had a wardrobe as a child at the end of his bed, which had been made by deacon brody 428 00:37:55,989 --> 00:38:01,030 So it's probably how he came to have the idea in the first place and brody was eventually 429 00:38:01,349 --> 00:38:07,510 Hanged although the story is that he wore a steel band around his neck and escaped 430 00:38:08,469 --> 00:38:12,389 To paris to live out his life. I had the idea that you would be hung and they would go 431 00:38:12,389 --> 00:38:17,670 Well, don't look we're hanging him and just look the other way. Yeah, why's why's the body going hard? I don't know 432 00:38:18,710 --> 00:38:20,710 He must have buried himself. I suppose. Yeah 433 00:38:22,710 --> 00:38:25,909 Anyway, who wrote this rhyme the queen of hearts 434 00:38:25,909 --> 00:38:31,429 She made some tarts upon a summer's day the nave of hearts. He stole those tarts and took them clean away 435 00:38:32,449 --> 00:38:34,449 Beyonce 436 00:38:34,530 --> 00:38:36,530 Uh 437 00:38:36,690 --> 00:38:38,690 It's louis carroll 438 00:38:38,769 --> 00:38:42,530 Again, I think that was quite 439 00:38:42,849 --> 00:38:44,530 relatively intelligent 440 00:38:44,530 --> 00:38:46,530 So it was popularized by louis carroll 441 00:38:46,530 --> 00:38:52,849 Um, but it was not written by him was first published in 1782. So louis carroll's work doesn't come out till 1865 442 00:38:53,170 --> 00:38:58,369 Uh, there are actually some additional verses about the king of spades the king of clubs and the diamond king 443 00:38:58,929 --> 00:39:01,489 They've actually been forgotten. I think because they're rather ruder 444 00:39:01,969 --> 00:39:07,170 Than the verses about the germ tarts the king of hearts beats the nave until he gives the tarts back 445 00:39:07,250 --> 00:39:12,849 The king of spades kills the maids while the nave of clubs gives winks and rubs 446 00:39:15,010 --> 00:39:17,010 It was a different time it was 447 00:39:18,210 --> 00:39:22,130 It is an amazing book alice's adventures in wonderland never been out of print. Uh, it's celebrated 448 00:39:22,210 --> 00:39:28,210 It's 150th birthday in 2015 lots of working titles for it. He had alice's adventures on the ground 449 00:39:28,610 --> 00:39:32,849 Alice among the fairies alice's hour in elf land. They're rather nice, aren't they? 450 00:39:33,489 --> 00:39:35,650 Finally, what color is the emerald city? 451 00:39:36,210 --> 00:39:40,769 I think I know a weird fact about the wizard of os which I didn't realize until recently which is that it's an allegory 452 00:39:40,769 --> 00:39:46,289 For america the farmers are the straw man and they need a brain an industry was the tin man 453 00:39:46,289 --> 00:39:48,289 An industry doesn't have a heart 454 00:39:48,289 --> 00:39:52,610 And the lion was the politicians and that they didn't have any courage. You're absolutely right 455 00:39:52,690 --> 00:39:54,690 But it's not what we were looking for. We were looking for the color 456 00:39:54,690 --> 00:39:58,130 The color 457 00:39:58,130 --> 00:40:00,130 Well, is the answer green then 458 00:40:07,550 --> 00:40:09,550 Emerald 459 00:40:15,969 --> 00:40:17,969 No red stop naming colors 460 00:40:19,969 --> 00:40:23,250 To you when she first goes to the city of os 461 00:40:23,650 --> 00:40:29,329 She is told she must don a pair of protective glasses in order to avoid being blinded by the brightness 462 00:40:29,329 --> 00:40:32,849 So I have that when I have laser on my jack and danny they make you wear glasses 463 00:40:33,409 --> 00:40:36,690 On your what was jack and danny jack and danny 464 00:40:39,809 --> 00:40:43,250 Jack and danny fanny. Sorry. It's called a jack. What is a jack? 465 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:55,199 Danny my mom doesn't like me doing rude stuff and she's really pleased i was going to be on qi 466 00:40:55,599 --> 00:40:57,599 And now she's not going to be pleased anymore 467 00:40:58,400 --> 00:41:02,960 She's going to be very embarrassed in front of the gardening club, of course again speaking of the gardening club you had all 468 00:41:02,960 --> 00:41:10,539 Downstairs 469 00:41:10,619 --> 00:41:14,940 I did not know it's rhyming slang. Is it jack and danny who knew for fanny? Yeah 470 00:41:17,820 --> 00:41:20,860 My favorite when I was growing up was always called the uh, a fine china 471 00:41:21,420 --> 00:41:22,460 Oh 472 00:41:22,460 --> 00:41:24,780 Oh, is that because you get it out for special occasions 473 00:41:30,800 --> 00:41:32,800 Back to the wizard of os 474 00:41:34,079 --> 00:41:39,280 What we learned from the wizard at the end is that he makes everybody wear green spectacles so that things appear 475 00:41:39,679 --> 00:41:43,840 Green and when she asks if that means everything isn't really green he replies 476 00:41:44,159 --> 00:41:45,920 No more so than any other city 477 00:41:45,920 --> 00:41:52,880 But my people have worn green glasses on their eyes so long that most of them think it really is an emerald city 478 00:41:53,840 --> 00:41:58,000 Uh, there's a city in america, which is known as the emerald city. It's seattle. It's a beautiful place 479 00:41:58,000 --> 00:42:02,400 That's surrounded by water and evergreen forests. Have you been to see i've been you must have played there. Yeah 480 00:42:02,400 --> 00:42:06,719 I played there last year. It's an amazing place to do a gig as well. It's incredible. They're in portland 481 00:42:06,800 --> 00:42:08,000 Just incredible 482 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,960 I played a place in portland when I was last there the aladdin theater 483 00:42:11,199 --> 00:42:14,320 And said oh anything interesting about the theater and I went oh, yeah, it used to be a cinema 484 00:42:14,559 --> 00:42:17,360 He said we showed one film here for 20 years 485 00:42:18,800 --> 00:42:21,280 I said, what was it? I said what was the deep throat? 486 00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:27,920 And the guy the guy said to me he said don't put a blue light on in there 487 00:42:28,559 --> 00:42:37,420 Green when viewed through emerald tinted glasses and there goes the bell for the end of the school day 488 00:42:38,300 --> 00:42:43,980 Before we leave for playtime. Let's have a look at your report cards in the first place tonight 489 00:42:44,059 --> 00:42:48,079 Well, this is astonishing with a full five points, it's alan 490 00:43:13,789 --> 00:43:27,760 So our guests tom jimmy lou and alan and I leave you with this quick quotation from the quill of american author robert 491 00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:28,719 Benchley 492 00:43:28,719 --> 00:43:32,719 It took me 15 years to discover that I had no talent for writing 493 00:43:32,960 --> 00:43:36,340 But I couldn't give it up because by that time I was too famous. Goodbye 494 00:43:37,280 --> 00:43:39,519 You