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One's loyal subjects. Colin Lay. Queen's shilling. David Mitchell. Queen's uniform. Sarah Millican.

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Doom of the stool. Alan Davis. Queenly quartet. Sarah Goes. Colin Goes. Love a bit of Scandi

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music. David Goes. Goes. About the royal. It doesn't smell. You're off and running.

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They're edging his first delivery slip. Right, yes. Was that an Australian accent? Oh, come on!

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I've been working on that since you were last here. Really? They don't open their teeth up. They, they, they, they.

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I've busted my crown, you see? I'll go over to the side. What can you talk about the royal mean? There was something weird about

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George III's wee. I think maybe it was purple and then they thought he had porphyria. Yes. And then now they think he didn't have porphyria,

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but they were definitely saying there's something up with this guy's wee. Yeah. Also, he's gone mad. Yes.

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That is entirely correct, but I am heading in a different direction. Why might a royal person say wee? Our first person plural?

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It is the majestic plural. It's known as nosism from the Latin, nose, for wee. It's the idea that the royal person,

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instead of referring to themselves as I, in fact, says wee. Implying there's more than one of them. Yes, well,

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we can trace it back to Henry II, and it used to mean God and I. That's what it really comes from.

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We've got Henry II there and his successor, Richard I, and it's Richard I that introduced the motto,

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Dieu est mon droit, God in my right, and that remains the royal motto ever since.

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It's got your crown on it, it's got your crown. I like to think this is like a working crown.

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This isn't like a parliament opening coronation crown. This is a crown. Daily. Yeah, you can wear it all the time.

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You can go into battle. Yeah. Going to get a paper and some fags. Yeah. Going to the garage at 3am for munches. Yeah.

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The Queen doesn't actually use the pronoun one as much as you would think. They analysed all her speeches since 1952

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and she uses I six times more often than she says one. It's a parody, really, of how she speaks,

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because it isn't. Unless she got bored of it. Yeah, one's not doing that anymore. Must be boring being Queen, so it just makes it a bit.

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It must be quite dull, do you not think, constantly having to open and close things?

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I don't think, to be fair, you mean opening as in launching? Yeah. I don't think she closes many things.

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When BHS went under, I didn't know. You're in charge. The whole approach to pronouns can be quite complicated.

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So the very first Qin emperor, so the guy who unified China, his guy called Shi Huangli,

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and he announced when he became emperor that the character, Chen, which was the normal singular

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pronoun, so I, was for his imperial use only. And it meant everybody else had to come up with other ways of...

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I am Chen. I am Chen. People used to refer to themselves often as you, meaning this foolish one,

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or not refer to yourself at all. In terms of things that you might refer to yourself if you're

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in charge, Kim Jong-il, he had more than 1200 titles with which he used to refer to himself,

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including Heaven Sent Hero, Guardian Deity Of The Planet, and my personal favourite,

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Eternal Bosom Of Hot Love.

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1102, Deluded Maniac.

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This is a great title. In Swaziland, Queen Mother Of King Musquati III has enjoyed the title of

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In Lo Vucasi, The Great Shi Elephant. I think I'd like to be that. Don't you think it's a good title?

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No. Sometimes I just want to feel like when I'm in the bath. Who chews the Queen's food?

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Beef eaters.

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Bacteria.

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Oh. Yes, I think we're going to accept that, except that we are in the land of honey.

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It's a bee. The worker bees. The worker bees? The worker bees are the other bees.

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It's not all the other bees because they divide up into lots of categories. So there's lazy

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ones as well. There are drone ones, there are scout ones, there are worker ones.

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There are product development bees, aren't there? Yeah. They've achieved very little recently.

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I mean, it is just honey, isn't it? Yeah, it's just honey.

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Unless it's Manuka honey and then it's 15 quid. Yeah. What are those bees doing?

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But when you compare them to KitKat, I mean, there's orange KitKat berries. I mean,

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they've really worked on the product development compared to honey is just honey.

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So worker bees, they pre-digest the Queen's food because she doesn't have

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the necessary glands to digest it herself. Even more unpleasant than that, they have

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the power to put her on a crash diet. What? Yes, I know. So she gets really big and heavy.

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She's too heavy to fly and when they want to swarm, which they do once a year,

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they put her on a crash diet so that she loses a third of her body weight and so she's ready

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to take off. Is there a committee or something? There's some level of management that goes,

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you know, the Queen's getting a bit porky. Well, you generally don't know how these

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decisions are made. So, for example, choosing a new Queen, they seem to select rather randomly

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a bee at the larva stage and they give it a special diet different from all of the workers.

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So these are Queen cups. These are new Queens being developed. Most larva are fed honey and

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pollen by worker bees, but occasionally one is fed only royal jelly, which is a sort of

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protein that's secreted from the glands in the worker bees' heads and this one is elevated

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to royal status and becomes Queen. But I like that you asked the question because the

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truth is we don't know. Oh, thank you very much. Yeah. Thank you. So we used to think it was the

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royal jelly that made the Queens develop differently and we now think it's not what

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she's fed but what she is not fed. So the fact that she does not get pollen and honey like the

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others, it actually makes her ovaries grow large while the other reproductive organs, the ones

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that get the pollen and honey, they actually shrink. It's a terrible life actually because

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when it comes time to get rid of her, she's sick or she's unproductive, she's not having

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any more babies. The workers kill her by balling her. Oh, I don't know if I want to know what

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that is. No, that's not what I think it is. No, a large group swarms tightly around her.

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It's better than I was thinking. It raises her body temperature until she is fatally overheated.

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I love that we're all feeling sorry that it is Queen Bee. But actually we say Queen Bee,

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since Aristotle's time it was always assumed it was a king. It took until the 1670s

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there was a Dutch scientist called Jan Svammerdam and he dissected a king bee under a microscope and

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rather shocked to discover the size of the ovaries which represent a quarter of a mature

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queen's body weight. He also learnt this great thing. If you remove the queen from the hive on

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a stick, all the other bees will follow you and this is a beekeeping trick that people use now

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and the most bizarre use was in the 18th century in show business. There was a beekeeper

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called Daniel Wildman and he had a honey shop in London and he promoted it by riding horses

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standing up while wearing a beard of bees. And that made people buy from his shop rather than

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just thinking he was mad. It's pretty startling if you have a look. This is not him but these

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are other people who have the skill of getting bees to do as they please. Did they all have

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honey shops as well? They were just selling tickets in the end because there was a woman

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called Patti Jones so she was the wife of the inventor of the modern circus Philip Astley

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and she used to perform horse riding stunts but she used to have a swarm of bees on her hand

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imitating a lady's muff. I mean a hand warmer. So do I. Who has sex for 15 years and gets

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licked to death by their own children? It's got to be an insect. Is it something like a

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like a termite? It is a termite. You're absolutely right. Yes.

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Just to be warned even if you like insects I think this is a bit gross okay. And I don't really like

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insects. I accept they're necessary. Yeah they are necessary but this is honestly a yellow pulsating

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mass. So the termite queen just like bees is the only fertile female in the colony and she

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gives birth to all the rest but unlike other insects mates for life and I mean literally.

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So after choosing a king spends 15 years incessantly mating to produce the nest colony.

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She produces one egg every three seconds. No. I know. So over a quarter of a billion in her

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lifetime. It's like a paintball machine. So you can just see her head at the front and that is

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her body and that her egg producing organ becomes so massive that she's rendered entirely.

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There she is. I know she's played by Olivia Colman in the film.

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Producing eggs the whole time. She grows to be too large to leave the cell. She can be a

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hundred times the size of the other termites. Is that the king there on the end? No that's her.

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The black bit at the end there. That's her. The rest is egg producing organ. I said it was gross.

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Is she having sex and producing an egg at the same time? Yes so she's endlessly shaking. She goes

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through about five to ten kings in her lifetime. I think they just get exhausted. I mean does she

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do it the same way every time? Like do they have to experiment with the sex life to keep it

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fun? No I think she just gets rid of the king and she can't move so her babies tend to

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her. They feed her, they clean her, they drink the secretion that she sweats. Look at

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this. I did warn you it's revolting but when she has outlived her usefulness so she's not

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producing enough babies anymore the children surround her and they lick her to death. They

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literally suck the fluids and fats from her body. Who would have thought that there was such a

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disgusting story behind something as lovely as a termite?

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But here's the weird thing when she dies gradually the whole mound dies away. So they

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lick her to death and then everybody dies? Well what you need now is to start a new termite mound so

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what'll happen? What I need now? No I mean when she's died you need to start a new mound and

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so what happens is once a year virgin queens will fly out of the mound and they'll land on

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the ground and they instantly shed their wings so they never fly again and they meet a king and

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they go underground and they start a new mound. And how quickly can she change the king?

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Well does she have to wear them out? Yeah I mean so in her lifetime she'll go through

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between five and ten kings. As one king finishes does she sort of go quick I need another one.

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Talking about royalty there was a study in 2018 and termite workers you have to understand

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termite workers are generally blind. They perform a kind of curtsy when they can scent

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royalty so there's a wax coat like substance that is over the king and queen and when the

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workers smell it they pause and start shaking. Look see them shaking because it's

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almost like a curtsy like being in the presence of their leader. Anyway moving on what's wrong

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with the queen in this picture? Nothing at all. Oh no it's kissing her hand. Sorry.

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Did you think that was a clean shaven gentleman?

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Is she dead? She is dead. This is Innes de Castro so we are back in the 14th century.

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She was the mistress of the then future king of Portugal Peter the first. He had a wife

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called Constance and she died. It was very sad so he immediately moved Innes in and they had three

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illegitimate children. Now his dad was still king then Alfonso the fourth. He was furious so

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he had Innes killed. Well obviously Peter didn't like this very much so he caught two of the

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killers and he had their hearts torn out and pulverized before him while he ate dinner. So

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quite cross I mean on the whole quite cross. Six years later he became king. He announced

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that he and Innes had secretly married. He dug her up and yes and placed her on the throne

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and forced the court to swear allegiance to her and kiss her hand. So she's not only dead

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darling she's been buried for six years. Well in which case they've done a great job. Yeah

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she looks pretty good. Yeah absolutely I mean I look worse than that many days.

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This is a magnificent coffin which you can still see it's at the monastery of Alcobarca

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but there's a modern Portuguese expression agora Ines é morta now Ines is dead. It basically

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means it's too late you can't turn back now but there she is finally linked by her children

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well it's such a horrific story lots of people thought it was a myth but in fact

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there is plenty of evidence to suggest that it is in fact a fact but actually in this

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country we had a similar sort of thing so in 1667 230 years after Catherine of Valois

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she was the queen consort of Henry the fifth died her tomb was disturbed they're doing some

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renovations in Westminster Abbey and after that if you paid a little bit extra to your tour guide

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they would take you to see the corpse it became a sort of tourist attraction

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and Samuel Pepys took his wife and daughters to see it and this is really weird he wrote in

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his diary I did kiss her mouth reflecting upon it that I did kiss a queen that this was my

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birthday 36 years old that I did first kiss a queen she was 230 years dead

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it still counts

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if it was his first queen was it his first corpse though maybe he couldn't say it was

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his first corpse because he's already done that so he had to say it was his first queen

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awkward yeah yeah oh the corpse thing oh that

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is that the dead uh I would suggest that that's a wooden car it looks wood yes

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oh yeah if that's her dead body it's had work yeah yeah there have been a couple of

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instances of royals who were crowned before they were born uh king louis the tenth of

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france he died on the fifth of june 1316 he was succeeded by his son uh john the first

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but he wasn't born until the 15th of november so he reigned for five months in utero did

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did they have a coronation well he died five days after he was born so he was

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yeah but I mean in that dynasty he's the one who reigned for his whole life

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he must be the only king to have reigned for five months longer than he actually lived

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yeah innister castro was a bit of a stiff you know even for a royal now

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what would you have to do to a mannequin to get yourself arrested

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have sex with it for 15 years and then lick it to death I would say that if it's your

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mannequin that would not be a legal issue would it if you want to pump it for years and years

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and then lick it to bits then that's fine as long as it doesn't belong to marks and spencers

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and you're not doing it in the winter so if that happens to me I can say David said it was

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fine yeah I've said I promise you that you will not have a legal problem have you trained

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in any way in in the legal fraternity no no I have no training but I am right

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that's all it takes yeah so different kind of queen we're talking about drag queens

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1941 there was a drag queen called Julian El Ting he was arrested simply for pointing

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at a mannequin so this is really hard for us what with well that's him on the left and

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that's him on the right as well and it's impossible for us to imagine but he was one

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of the highest paid actors in the world in his day he was paid three and a half thousand

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dollars a week so that's nearly sixty thousand dollars now in 1912 he had a Broadway theatre on

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42nd street named after him everybody loved his drag act he was always doing lots and lots

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of costume changes but then after world war one there was a spate of morality laws and

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men were banned from dressing as women and shortly before his death he was reduced to

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performing in a tuxedo with a mannequin next to him dressed as he would have done when he

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dressed as a woman and he was arrested in a Los Angeles nightclub for simply pointing

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it was thought to be too much in what year was that 1941 41 yeah so they banned drag acts yeah

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they banned drag acts when it started after the first world war and then it increased and

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increased to the extent that in 1941 he was arrested for simply pointing at a mannequin

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I know it's bonkers isn't it in wartime drag acts would have been very helpful

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yeah for morale I know it's different from moral grounds but on morale grounds more drag

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police yes in terms of morality probably the worst story about cross-dressing was a man called

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William T Sloper he was on the Titanic and he was invited into one of the lifeboats by an

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actress he had just met that evening Dorothy Gibson when only a third of the lifeboats

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were filled to capacity the whole women and children thing hadn't kicked in he did survive

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he got to the United States and he refused to talk to reporters because he had said

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he would give just a story to his local newspaper and one journalist took umbrage at this and wrote

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an article anyway and invented the notion that he had in fact escaped because he was dressed as

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a woman and it wasn't true at all but he lived under the curse of this accusation for

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the rest of his life there was somebody who did escape sort of by cross-dressing a

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steerage class passenger called David Buckley he made his way into a lifeboat and then all

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the men were ordered off but a woman he was sitting next to threw her shawl over him

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and he stayed in the lifeboat and he did survive but I don't think it's strictly

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speaking cross-dressing just was covered with the thing it's where cross-dressing meets hiding

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yes now who was the first queen to get a Brazilian oh Cleopatra why do you think

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she used to bath in milk she was up for stuff ass's milk yeah not even normal milk no she

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married several of her brothers she was a you know what we'd call now a weirdo

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no it is not a Brazilian husband we are heading indeed to Brazil if that helps

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I had to have this picture explained to me when I first saw it well we know more about

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you than we thought we did I'm in the same gang as you honestly I thought it was caramel I had

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no idea we're going to 1807 we are going to Portugal the crown prince Dom João Napoleon

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is approaching and he takes his entire court including his queen Carlotta and he thinks

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let's go to one of our colonies and they head off to Brazil so they go off in a convoy of

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ships from Lisbon to Brazil 10,000 people go with him and it's unbelievably overcrowded

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and hygienic and a lice infestation breaks out so in order to get rid of the lice they

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all including all the women they have to shave their heads they have to throw all their

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powdered wigs away and cover their heads in pig fat now they're about to arrive in Brazil they

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want to make a bit of a stir but they've got bald heads and pig fat I think that'll that'll

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do the job they arrive at a place called Guanabara Bay and Carlotta and all the other

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royal women emerged with their bald heads covered with improvised turbines and apparently

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so the story goes the Brazilian women thought this was the height of European style

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and it became the local fashion the problem is that Brazil is full of a wonderful African

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Brazilian population and I would have thought that the turban thing would have come

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from that part of the world originally but we don't know so they were bald everywhere then

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are you worrying about it's growing me when it's caught in this one looks not unlike David

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Mitchell I think she looks a bit like Marty Feldman yes cross with David Mitchell

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this is building up into quite the compliment whether the story is true or not about the

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Brazilians there is a long history of commoners imitating royals there was a man called Guillermo

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duke of Manchua he was a hunchback so we took a 16th century and so all of his courtiers

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put humps on to compliment him you've got to judge that carefully yeah it might look like

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you're taking the piss yes the princess of Wales Alexandra she had a limp because she had

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a stiff knee joint and it became fashionable to limp in the same way it was known as the

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Alexandra limp isn't there a thing about waistcoat buttons as well what's the thing about waistcoat

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buttons in Britain you're supposed to leave your bottom button of a waistcoat undone and

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i'd heard because of some fat bastard some fat bastard yeah some king who couldn't do all

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his buttons up so everyone went around with leaving some of their buttons undone like yes

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just normal it's just really stylish and you had to have food around your mouth and all down

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your tie yeah the waistcoat buttons is true edward the seventh when he was prince of wales

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oh her husband her husband in fact yeah here's another interesting fashion for

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royals louis the 14th he had a fashion that courtiers should have one long fingernail

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why was that my husband's got one special toenail for scratching his eczema it's awful

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isn't it

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in this show you and i are in danger of ever sharing

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and you seem to be fine with that though that's yeah as long as he

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he keeps it to himself i'm all right right yeah yeah he hasn't really has he now

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he's only told me quite recently and we've been together for nearly 15 years

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so there's nothing i can do about it now is what i'm saying yeah except maybe pay

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more attention in the future so the one long fingernail what do we reckon

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is that as cain that he's leaning on or is that the fingernail

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no he didn't have the fingernail so it was the courtiers everyone else had to have the

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yes is it to do with his anus let me just get that out of my head

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what's it doing in your head

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oh my goodness

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away from this show

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pulsating termites with a fingernail up louis the 14th's ass now

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so he's in this in this reality he said i want any of you to be ready yeah there's no telling

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who i'm going to ask now to stick their fingernail up my aida i want you all to grow

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it i don't want it to be a specialism i want to say you now no so he decreed that nobody was

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allowed to knock on his door so instead they had to scratch really gently with one finger

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and so it became a thing that you grew a fingernail especially to scratch on the king's

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door and it really rather suggested you had the king's ear i know weird rules honestly

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would have been better off if they'd done it up his ass i just think

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anyway moving on what was your best chance of seeing the queen's ass in the 18th century

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asking really really really nicely she's standing underneath some sort of a vacuum

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those are bees i think if you send a big parcel you have to get the biggest stumps

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yes that got the ass on oh what the stamps yeah like because you see more of it on the stamp

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so you're saying that stamps are like those things that they used to have peanuts on

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these pumps and the more expensive the stamp the more of the queen you think

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i'm gonna send a really big parcel we'll see the whole of it is it a donkey yes it is

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not the queen's bum is it it's not the queen's bum this is queen charlotte she was the wife of

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george the third george the third absolutely right and she's very good he's very good

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yeah i'm tickling it out of him yeah an anus full of facts anus of fact

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actually the working title of my memoir but it wasn't donkey it was a zebra was known as

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the queen's ass given to her by the governor of the cape in south africa in 1761 it was a

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wedding present he sent a pair he sent a male and a female unfortunately the male no stamina

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died on route but the female arrived only a year late for the wedding but hey and it was a

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very popular attraction lots of people never seen one before and she had stables at buckingham

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gate and george stubs the great painter produced a marvelous large painting and apparently

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she bred it i mean not say not her personally but apparently they painted white stripes on the

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backside of a male donkey to persuade her to mate with it and it worked and gave birth so

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what would that be a donkey and a zebra a donkara donkara zebri it sounds like a condition

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it's a zebroyd you know he can't sit very well he calls me zebroyd

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for 18th century technology

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it does look like a donkey in leggings doesn't it donkeys in tie

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i use it to the same technique for breeding your race horses some stallions will only mate

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with mayors of a particular color i wear a george clooney mask quite often

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on my bum you understand

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the very first giraffe to arrive in britain was again it was a present to royals it was sent

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in 1827 was a gift from egypt to george the fourth i like this the ship that it was

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transported and they had to cut a hole in the deck at about the same time egypt gifted

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another giraffe to france and it was called zarafa it became so popular it created a craze

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in paris for having your hair done a la gira so not like hair like horns yes more like horns

283
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that's not i would say the most noticeable thing about a giraffe

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that was their takeaway thing oh yeah notice the little horns i'm gonna have my hair done

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like that it's got a four meter neck of the most astonishing tongues i went to a

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feeding station once where you would go up into a tower and feed the giraffes and honestly it's

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terrifying was it a tower for everybody else so just for you

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willis but the second has received lots and lots of exotic animals two sloths from brazil two

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pygmy hippopotamuses from liberia a crocodile from zambia an elephant from cameroon six

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kangaroos from australia thank you and a pig from fiji which decided to remain on fiji

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why fiji sent a pig maybe they don't have many giraffes there yeah we expect a giraffe

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but we haven't got one so embarrassed we can't send her a pig she'll have a pig

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we've got a dog collar a hound tether a game noose and you've got the horn what game can

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we play what noose have we got a game noose oh a noose that's up for anything

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well let's just try and work it out uh what might you do with a game noose so that's the

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third one is it where you know you don't want to shoot pheasants but you might encourage them

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to commit suicide you sort of say maybe i mean you're a pheasant what is there to live for

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you know anyway there it is i mean to be honest yeah if the pheasants killed itself it's not the

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same thing as eating it having shot it is it you could probably make an argument that it's

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like a vegan pheasant it's kind of what david is talking about is about pheasants but you

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want to be able to carry them home like little soft handcuffs or something well i think before

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you put it around its neck darling and carry it home on your belt it's like a pheasant clip

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exactly darling yes where the hell am i going to put my pheasant i know i've got my game noose

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yeah so all of these things come from one game a dog collar a hound tether a game noose and a horn

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from somewhere around 1470 this game is it a sex game depends how you play it i suppose

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let's not limit ourselves is it cards it is absolutely gods uh so the world's oldest

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full set of playing cards it's called the hoffier hunting pack it's currently at the

308
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metropolitan museum in new york city what's the top one looks like a balloon whisk so instead of

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the suits that we have today if we go through them the dog collar on the bottom and then the

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game noose and then the horn and then a hound tether okay there weren't any rule books until

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the 17th century so we don't know what kind of games they would have played but this would

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have been one of the first packs to have a queen in europe they originally had no queen

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they had a cavalier on horseback instead but around the 15th century they start to swap them

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out and start to have a queen we're not really sure why it may be that there's a slightly

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biblical influence so if you look at the queen of hearts there she's got the name judith from

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00:32:39,029 --> 00:32:44,549
the books of judith then the queen of diamonds was called rachel the favorite wife of jacob

317
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the queen of spades was linked to the goddess athena clubs i think they ran out of ideas

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okay so this was the name for the queen of clubs have a quick look and see why you think

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she might have been called this it's regina it is regina it just means queen but lots of

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things have changed in games because the queen in chess was originally the vizier so the sort of

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advisor the minister the chess board was a battlefield and then it eventually became the

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royal court so you get the vizier the infantry the cavalry the elephants the chariots they

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become the queen the knights the bishop and so on in the 15th century it was thought

324
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inappropriate to promote a piece that you had more than one queen on the board why might

325
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there some queen who didn't like even the suggestion that there might be another queen

326
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and banned the practice it's thought to symbolize adultery oh yes and in monopoly when did they

327
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start having the little dog and the hat that is a very good question they were in fact all

328
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just charms off a charm bracelet oh i know sorry yeah that's a shit answer sorry

329
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i don't know sarah but let's hope one day somebody finds out they'll just edit the bit

330
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out where i tell you okay i believe they were charms from a charm bracelet

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yes yeah i just popped into my own anus now it's time for the short walk the chopping

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00:34:11,639 --> 00:34:17,320
block we call general ignorance fingers on buzzers please what's the oldest object in

333
00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:35,210
the crown jewels is it the queen it's not a bad guy i'm sorry i turned the volume right

334
00:34:37,929 --> 00:34:52,969
it's an old spoon yes you are absolutely right it is an old well most of the crown jewels

335
00:34:52,969 --> 00:34:58,570
were lost at the civil war so almost everything is post civil war and there's the odd thing left

336
00:34:59,050 --> 00:35:07,320
well the anus speaks there's only a very few things from before that so from before then

337
00:35:07,320 --> 00:35:12,760
so it's late 12th century so it's a 10 and a half inch long anointing spoon it's one of only

338
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four things that we have which predate the restoration and the other three are some 17th

339
00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:21,320
century swords it's from about the time of edward the confessor you get a set of coronation

340
00:35:21,320 --> 00:35:25,400
regalia which gets passed down from ruler to ruler but then of course as you say the

341
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monarchy was abolished and the new government decides to melt everything down but there was

342
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a guy called mr kinnersley he was the yeoman of charles the first's wardrobe and he bought

343
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the spoon for 16 shillings about 11 days wages at the time so it's not a complete fortune

344
00:35:40,199 --> 00:35:45,159
and when the monarchy was restored uh he returned the spoon did they give him 16 shillings

345
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or no he just gave it back he just returned it what a lovely gesture yeah now what's the

346
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best thing to eat to help you with your hay fever is it an antihistamine that would be

347
00:35:55,719 --> 00:35:59,400
the best thing yes but what is the thing people often think they say well this is a

348
00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:04,760
the klaxon one yeah people say honey but it isn't you're absolutely right it's a long-standing

349
00:36:04,760 --> 00:36:08,440
myth that it would help with hay fever why might you think it would help with hay fever

350
00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:13,559
get the bees on site uh the idea is it's got pollen in it and it desensitizes you

351
00:36:13,559 --> 00:36:17,079
to the pollen that's in the air in fact it's not going to help you at all it's really nice

352
00:36:17,639 --> 00:36:19,639
honey i love it on toast or

353
00:36:23,699 --> 00:36:28,099
porridge i like it on porridge i never understood why you would put it on a carrot

354
00:36:29,139 --> 00:36:33,539
who puts it on a carrot people put it blaze it don't they oh i thought you meant like

355
00:36:33,539 --> 00:36:48,809
yeah it's uh just to make it you know easier i don't know what to dislodge a particularly

356
00:36:48,809 --> 00:37:13,079
hard fact

357
00:37:16,469 --> 00:37:21,429
back to honey uh the vast majority of seasonal allergies they're caused by wind pollinators

358
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that release the pollen into the air and bees generally pollinate plants that need insects

359
00:37:26,789 --> 00:37:32,469
so the pollen you get in your honey isn't pollen that's giving you your allergies why is

360
00:37:32,469 --> 00:37:36,869
some of it runny and some of it hard it depends on how you treat it after it has been gathered

361
00:37:36,869 --> 00:37:42,789
not the bees choice not the bees don't go as i said the product development section they've

362
00:37:42,789 --> 00:37:49,030
come up with nothing no peppermint flavored honey no strawberry honey you get clover honey

363
00:37:49,030 --> 00:37:56,389
and lavender honey you do get some kind of yeah do you what you've never heard anybody more

364
00:37:56,389 --> 00:38:00,949
disinterested it's like none of you have heard of jam that's the problem

365
00:38:03,510 --> 00:38:11,190
uh eating honey won't help your hay fever who wrote the queensbury rules the marquis of cream

366
00:38:11,590 --> 00:38:19,590
he endorsed them he did not write them they were written by a welshman called john graham chambers

367
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so he founded the amateur athletic club he's probably famous for the fact that he rode beside

368
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a man called matthew webb anybody know what matthew webb did he was in a sketch double act

369
00:38:28,789 --> 00:38:35,349
sketch double act yeah he was a really funny one he was really really funny

370
00:38:35,829 --> 00:38:36,309
yeah

371
00:38:42,489 --> 00:38:46,809
matthew webb first person recorded to swim the channel in 1875 you said the first person

372
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recorded does that mean that the people did it and just didn't tell anybody

373
00:38:53,929 --> 00:38:58,250
i mean we don't know do we because they didn't tell anybody yeah just kept it quiet yes like

374
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the moon who knows how many people have been popping up to the moon it wasn't columbus that

375
00:39:04,650 --> 00:39:09,449
discovered the americas the vikings went there ages ago the vikings probably went to the moon

376
00:39:09,449 --> 00:39:15,769
yeah i read the other day after columbus discovered america well he didn't but when

377
00:39:15,769 --> 00:39:22,170
well when he went there there were 55 million native americans and within a hundred years

378
00:39:22,170 --> 00:39:28,489
90 percent of them were dead yeah mainly from disease it's pretty astonishing that much

379
00:39:28,489 --> 00:39:33,050
worse than i had yeah not to mention nearly all the bison yeah carnage of that

380
00:39:33,929 --> 00:39:44,969
oh i've been i'm just it's the way i mourn the suffering

381
00:39:53,449 --> 00:39:55,929
some of my facts are attracting flies

382
00:39:58,090 --> 00:40:01,289
i think the strangest adoption of the queensbury rules boxing was a sport

383
00:40:01,289 --> 00:40:05,130
um it was called horse boxing and it was the invention of a guy who entered

384
00:40:05,130 --> 00:40:10,409
in berlin an african-american boxer called bobby dobbs and it is it's essentially a boxing match

385
00:40:10,409 --> 00:40:13,130
but but you just sit and punch each other

386
00:40:16,250 --> 00:40:18,489
horse while the horses have a little chat yeah

387
00:40:21,449 --> 00:40:25,050
can you think of a quicker way of making horses despise humanity

388
00:40:27,289 --> 00:40:31,610
in 1912 it was demonstrated as a tournament in germany and they thought of putting this

389
00:40:31,610 --> 00:40:35,610
into the german army's you know proper officer training the new sport will be

390
00:40:35,610 --> 00:40:39,610
valuable for the soldier on horseback in time of war as when he loses his weapons he will

391
00:40:39,610 --> 00:40:44,010
have to fall back on his natural means of defense it didn't work out as a sport anybody

392
00:40:44,010 --> 00:40:51,369
know why can't hold the reins horses did not want to stand still uh the marquis of queensbury

393
00:40:51,369 --> 00:41:10,840
didn't make the rules what were tarot cards invented for uh is it tell in the future

394
00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:18,489
no it isn't at all what they really are they're like an extra fifth suit to the pack is is really

395
00:41:18,489 --> 00:41:22,489
the idea and lots of people want to trace it back to ancient egypt and the occult and

396
00:41:22,489 --> 00:41:26,730
kabbalah traditions and so on there's no documentary evidence whatsoever to support

397
00:41:26,730 --> 00:41:32,570
the idea of using it for divination until about 1760s in france before that they like trumps

398
00:41:32,570 --> 00:41:37,369
in a game and then they were also used as an aid to creating a story and even then what

399
00:41:37,369 --> 00:41:41,849
you think each card means it varies tremendously depending on what tradition you follow and

400
00:41:41,849 --> 00:41:48,329
once had my tarot cards read i was quite an old virgin and uh and and she got the conclusion

401
00:41:48,329 --> 00:41:55,769
of the reading i was well aware of that and i got the naked card and i got really excited

402
00:41:55,769 --> 00:42:00,170
thinking what's gonna happen and she just kept saying it's new beginnings it's so frustrating

403
00:42:00,170 --> 00:42:04,570
that they don't mean what they didn't look like they mean i just had a cock on it

404
00:42:04,570 --> 00:42:11,449
i've had somebody explain it to me and they say well the death card doesn't necessarily

405
00:42:11,449 --> 00:42:15,769
means death that means a change yeah at the end of a stage in your life okay you've got a

406
00:42:15,769 --> 00:42:20,650
card system that's well it's the death card don't why do you have to complicate it you

407
00:42:20,650 --> 00:42:24,650
know that's death right it upsets people that's really we don't have the card then

408
00:42:26,170 --> 00:42:27,929
change it for the new job card

409
00:42:28,809 --> 00:42:30,809
yeah

410
00:42:33,210 --> 00:42:35,929
you're going to be moving house sometime in the next 12 months yeah

411
00:42:37,530 --> 00:42:44,730
which brings us to the final fanfare of the scores in first place oh with a sovereign

412
00:42:44,730 --> 00:43:01,260
eight it's sarah second place with minus one it's david third place with minus seven

413
00:43:07,500 --> 00:43:11,099
fourth place with a magnificent minus 25 it's alan

414
00:43:11,980 --> 00:43:25,900
we need to thank sarah david collin and alan and leave you with this queenly quotation

415
00:43:25,900 --> 00:43:30,380
when edward the seventh was asked if his mother queen victoria would be happy in heaven he

416
00:43:30,380 --> 00:43:37,980
replied she will have to walk behind the angels and she won't like that good night