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I

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Was which is quite appropriate as I have four guests or you know five if I include myself on the one hand here's

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Aisling be two ways about it. It's David Mitchell

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Sixes and sevens Alan Davis their buzzers for Aisling goes

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David goes into that thing. That was someone singing five. Okay

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And Alan goes one is about quadrupeds name a quadruped that can't swim my mom

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From any thoughts about Nish's mother being on all four

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Appreciate it. So quadrupeds now Sandy. I feel like this relies on everybody knowing what that word means. So quad

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for and ped

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Hello

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Four feet you totally knew it and your mother has four feet. I'm four feet

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Is that the answer so we're more in the animal world people we're not in the Kumar household at all

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They all float don't they well when they're dead

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Yeah, they're floating to the surface eventually when all the stomach juices start to decompose

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Bob up then but is that really swimming?

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David cheerful Mitchell

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Float because of the air in their life. It's only when the lungs fill with water

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So unless you can't keep your breathing passages above the wall, you're right. What might not be an elephant

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All the animals probably the most likely to be able to inbuilt snorkel

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It could so easily been a blue whale had it had any feet at all

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So the elephant is rather a brilliantly evolved in fact to be able to swim because it possibly that was a snorkel the trunk

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Yeah, that's that's someone got excited in the pool

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Giraffe is exactly the right answer that way

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Nobody has ever seen a giraffe swim

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but there were two academics called Darren Nish and Don Henderson and they decided by careful computer modeling to test out whether a giraffe can

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Swim and they concluded that giraffes would float but not swim and actually if they did swim they'd be particularly bad at it

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So look at this

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So here's the problem is that giraffes have these really heavy bony heads

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So if all four legs of a giraffe were to leave the bottom of the river the giraffes hips would float

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Higher than the shoulders and they would float downwards. So now what's going to happen with the head?

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Yeah, it's gonna go under the water. So it's got to crick its neck back like this

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So a giraffe to be able to swim would have to be in this position

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So the conclusion by the scientists is

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Giraffes would be very poor swimmers and that it might be assumed they would avoid this activity if at all possible

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Could it not do a backstroke?

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I think that's worse probably

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So now you're having to be like this

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Oh wow

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You like the look of that Nish

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Goodness me, listen, if you've got a long neck use it

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It looks like me when I was a teenager

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The other creatures that have difficulties with giraffes

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The other creatures that have difficulties with me are apes, how do they know apes have difficulties with planet of the apes films

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Is one way you never see them never say I'm sorry planet of the apes

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Scientists were not sure if apes could swim. So they just dropped them in water

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There was a guy called William Hornaday

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He was the founder of Bronx Zoo and he had an orangutan pet which he called old man

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and he just dropped it in some water and he said I watched him sink and go stiff and

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There was an American animal behaviorist called Robert Yerkes. He similarly submerged young chimpanzees to see what happened

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He says without exception they struggled excitedly and quickly sank. Oh my god

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I know that's why you have moats around the enclosure with the apes because they don't want to swim

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What about camels anybody? What are the humps gonna do? Are they gonna be buoyant?

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Probably camels are the descendants of giraffes who learned to swim

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Because their lungs went up their back and their heads started to go like this

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They bring me on here for the big

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Series of blue planet to be presented by you

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Giraffes are just camels

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Some camels come there's an Indian breed called Karai as soon as the swimming camel of Gujarat hippos

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More bounce than swim imagine that this is now a hippo and they go like this along

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Along the bottom and they can stay underwater for about five minutes. They kill a lot of people don't they hippos?

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Yeah, it goes are hungry hungry

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I'm gonna give you the giraffe as a prize

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I went to the zoo once in India and I had two white tigers very spectacular sight

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And they had a moat around them and then a fence and we thought well, thank goodness there's a moat

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Yeah savage and then they both got in and swam across the moat

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Don't think of cats as being swimmers, but all domestic cats can swim just mostly can't be bothered. Well, they don't like it

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No, they don't like it. My cats hated it in the bar

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Well, they fell in

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I

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Still like the bar for hours as it was against the wall

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So the side of the bath on my right was very very slim ledge

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Really for a sea bird or something

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One of the cats could go along that ledge in the little paw work and the other cat just couldn't do that

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One day decided he was gonna give it a go

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And I'll say to don't you can't do that just get back

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And he went like that and then he just fell straight in

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He clawed up my legs

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Then there was this blood and fur in the bar

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And I've got out to see if he was all right and all of his fur had gone down

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Then he's just a tiny skeleton with wet fur on the massive eyes

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I

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Put him in a towel and put him on top of a radiator I

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Absolutely love the idea that you talk to your cats like that and they reply in your voice

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You don't want to do that. I'll give it a go

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Babies do babies have an innate ability to swim. What do we reckon? No, what's the audience think?

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No, they drown can I just say do not do this it is not true a lot of people say it though

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Because we're all evolved from fishes

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You still sort of think you're a fish. So it's all fine

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I think this Nirvana album had a lot of responsibility for this idea. It's not true babies

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Do naturally hold their breath but do not put them in the water. They do not have an innate ability

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Giraffes would find swimming a pain in the neck, but are elephants any good at drawing?

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Yeah, there was that elephant who could pain. Yes that him

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Yeah, yeah, well actually that is an elephant with a paintbrush stuck up its nose

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There's an art gallery in Thailand that features a permanent display of paintings by elephants

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But this is actually about another sense of drawing. Is it pulling along? It is pulling along exactly right?

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It's a pulling along a chariot a Roman general's triumph involved his riding in a quadriga

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So a quadriga anybody know what a quadriga is for a four-wheeled

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Chariot one elephant. Okay, so it's four creatures pulling a quadriga

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So usually it was four horses and they would pull them through a triumphal gate an archway of some kind

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So Pompey the Great's first triumph 79 BC. He thought totally gonna overshadow everybody

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I'm gonna have four elephants to pull my quadriga to reflect the fact that his victory was in Africa

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He got to a Kate. What was the problem too wide? Yeah, couldn't get through

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He had the embarrassment of having to get down while they swapped the elephants over for horses

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They have one of those things, you know when they say no lorry is over

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But the quadriga is an amazing it was kind of the formula one car if you like of its day

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I remember the film Ben Herr Oh for in a line. Yeah for in a line. It's a wonderful film

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It's a 1959 has some of the most outstanding anachronisms in movie history

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There are modern books despite the fact that binding was about a thousand years away

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There's a shot of the Sistine Chapel

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About fifteen hundred years before it was painted

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Also, I'd like a lot of films of that era

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Jesus was a white guy. Yeah, yeah as opposed to somebody looks like me

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Nike the winged goddess of victory is not normally depicted riding a quadriga her famous phrase was just do it

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Why was important for women the quadriga to have four horses? It's a really interesting part of sporting history

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What do we know about the early Olympics and women there weren't any there weren't any women were not allowed

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except in the capacity of horse owners or trainers the very first female Olympic winner was a Spartan princess called

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Siniska and she won the quadriga races in

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396 and 392 BC women were not allowed to participate

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They weren't even allowed to watch but as a trainer she was the winner

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She's the very first female Olympian why but she probably never saw the race. My mother is a retired jockey

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That's not a joke

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Yeah, I grew up in a like a really horsey town where everyone is a jockey or a stable hand

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I got together with Nisha's mother who goes around

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She is gonna be like this is one of the few programs I do she watches anyway, she's gonna be absolutely livid

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She's honored new

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She always says that when she won they'd say the horse was very fast and if she lost they say well

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You shouldn't put women on horses in the first place Wow

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Anybody think of statues of quadriga that we see on modern-day monuments anywhere around one down near Westminster Bridge with

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Boudicca on it. I don't think it's a quadriga. I think it's just two horses that one the Wellington arch at Hyde Park corner

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So there we are Wellington arch the Act of Triumph and the Brandenburg gate all have quadriga on top of them

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And where might you see the only one which survives from antiquity?

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I'm gonna take a shot in the dark here Rome

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Venice st. Mark's Basilica not the one that you see outside. It's actually inside but that is the only one there's this thing of it

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When Venice

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Basically attacked Constantinople. It was supposed to be a crusade to go and attack the Holy Land

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But in fact the crusade attacked Constantinople instead and took a lot of

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Constantinople's goodies back to Venice and I think a couple of things were from the big chariot racing

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Circus Maximus place. Well quadriga racing was such a huge deal in Roman times. So circus maximums

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150,000 spectators. So Alan how big is Wembley? 90,000

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Yeah, so nice that you'd imagine you'd think how big Wembley is and you think of those people who went along to the quadriga

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Racing you have to understand it's quite long the Circus Maximus, isn't it? Yeah, it's longer than this

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Right, I love the detail Circus Maximus was bigger than that

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Closest thing to a chariot race these days. There is one famous race that takes place. Actually, it's twice a year the wheelbarrow

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All right, but we're not going past my mother's

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It's in Siena it is the paleo horse race in Siena they go through the town

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Unbelievably exciting. It's around the central square of this historic city

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And it's very like quadriga racing because it is de rigueur for the riders to hinder each other to bribe the opponents

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Pretty much as they please the whips. They're made of dried distended bulls penises

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And they use them not just on the horses, but on each other

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And the winner is the first horse over the line whether or not the jockey has come with him

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I think that would be an interesting take on the Grand National because quite often a horse

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unhampered by a human being

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Sort of thing in many ways we're holding them back

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Let them run

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Look like jockeys except the guy in the blue in the middle. Yeah, who looks like he's the victim of a drunken prank

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He was on a stag do and then he's just woken up and gone

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And there's no saddles so they're going bareback, yeah

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It's a bit like the Amish in that they limit the technology they're allowed. They're not allowed the whips

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They've got to be bulls penises. They can't be and I mean got a dick slapping each other

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Whips

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Some old Italian man

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Whittling away at like a big knob until he gets his town. Well, I do this for a long time a long time

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It's my only job once a year. I'm important in the town. I make a little dick whips

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Is it honest there's leaving

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You're like the sort of the rogue fifth member of the dolmio family

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The length of the which is dependent on the weather depends on how many sexing cows of

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Dispute the fact that these bulls penises would still display aroused

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And dried I'm sure mine wouldn't

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Never know David as we were

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Barely functioning and it's still attached

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Okay, let's move on

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They're a lot tamer here. The only people who race around the square in this country are students on foot

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You know like that scene in Chariots of Fire where they race around the square in the middle of the college, you know

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Oh, yeah, come on audience

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Quad okay

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I believe you fell for that. Yeah

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Audience you guys suck

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It's a curiosity about Cambridge all quadrangles are called courts

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Apart from the court of Downing College, which is a quad and the race depicted that one in Chariots of Fire

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It takes place annually around anybody know which court is it?

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Cambridge College

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It's quad the event they're depicting suppose it takes place at Trinity College, but they filmed it at Eaton

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They did film it at Eaton and a quadrangle at Eaton is not called a quad either it's called a yard

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And these are the people who will one day be in charge of the government interesting

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So the real-life race is against the clock

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It's a 370 meter course and they have to get around in the time

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It takes the clock to strike 12 depending on when it was last wound could be 43 could be 44 seconds

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There used to be a similar tradition that MPs and House of Commons staff would attempt to run across Westminster Bridge at noon

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During the time it took Big Ben to strike 12, so that's 353 meters

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They have to do it in less than 46 seconds

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The very first person to do it was a Commons tea room worker called Florence

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I lot on April the 14th 1934. She was aged 20. There she is. Oh, wow

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I love this picture because Big Ben is still got scaffolding

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The speed required is it's only about 17 miles per hour as opposed to modern championship sprint speed

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Which is about 28 miles per hour, but she completed the feat with time to spare

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She actually made it by the 10th chime and I am delighted to tell you that her son and grandson are with us in the

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Spot it was astonishing because her 400 meter time. It wasn't far off the world record at the time

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Is that right? Well, apparently yeah, we don't really know quite where she started and where she finished

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But she was pretty bloody fast by the looks of it

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Just carry on like it has commons or what happened to her she was an amateur runner

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That's what she did in a spare time and she met her future husband

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My granddad his dad while running but it was amateur days, of course

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So they didn't make any money out of it. They've been prizes canteens of cutlery and things like that

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That would be fine on this show

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This is nothing to do with anything but you and I have worked together have we not yes

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I was a question setter on 15 to 1 you set about 2,000 questions for me a bastard

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I

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Happened when the quadra punctate Gribble went to the seaside

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Is quadra punctate Gribble one of the more obscure Harry Potter character?

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Certainly sounds like it belongs in an Edward Leopold doesn't it? Yeah doctor's use book now come on quadra punctate

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So just break it down punctate would be a work of art done by a punk

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Yes

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Four punk four essentially, it's just sprayed no

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But I love your thinking so it is a wood boring creature and a big

216
00:19:42,819 --> 00:19:46,980
It's horrible. And basically when it went to the seaside it at Yarmouth Pier

217
00:19:49,700 --> 00:19:54,859
It has four holes or punctures in its thorax it is apparently well known to

218
00:19:55,339 --> 00:19:59,519
Colleopterists what our collieopterists people who study absolutely disgusting shit

219
00:20:00,779 --> 00:20:02,920
Some people like to call them beetle specialists

220
00:20:04,980 --> 00:20:10,619
There is also thing called a try punk date and they're easily confused with the quadra punctate because they sometimes have a rogue

221
00:20:11,099 --> 00:20:15,819
Fourth hole, but they're not actually quite. I mean, I'm sorry

222
00:20:17,500 --> 00:20:20,660
Never get it the other way around you never get a quadra punctate with only three holes

223
00:20:20,660 --> 00:20:23,339
I mean, this is extraordinary right how much I know about this

224
00:20:24,859 --> 00:20:26,859
I

225
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:34,339
Was the one that try punk tape try punk that occasionally has four holes. It's a rogue for rogue trying about it's

226
00:20:34,619 --> 00:20:37,339
Pretending to be a quadra punctate. What is the difference?

227
00:20:37,940 --> 00:20:39,940
once we

228
00:20:41,579 --> 00:20:47,500
Between a rogue try punctate. Yes, and a true quadra punctate. Why does anyone think it matters?

229
00:20:48,059 --> 00:20:53,900
I

230
00:20:53,900 --> 00:21:00,559
Said in this quadra punctate cost the Isle of Wight over four hundred thousand pounds because but not just the one there were lots of them

231
00:21:00,579 --> 00:21:04,019
Yeah, it y'all must be it's not a English

232
00:21:07,420 --> 00:21:09,420
The voice of brexit Britain

233
00:21:10,980 --> 00:21:14,180
They were brought here on ships from other countries, oh fuck

234
00:21:15,420 --> 00:21:20,380
Let's have a look at some other quads and quins. What do you think this quintet of words mean?

235
00:21:20,980 --> 00:21:22,980
Pick any one at random

236
00:21:23,059 --> 00:21:29,420
Well a Quincy if a onesie is a one outfit a Quincy must be five outfits on at once

237
00:21:30,420 --> 00:21:33,500
You can choose any five pieces randomly and you've got yourself a Quincy

238
00:21:33,500 --> 00:21:37,019
I would have two gloves two socks and a little hat on my knob

239
00:21:48,740 --> 00:21:53,619
Temporary accommodation if I'm completely frank with you a tent it's a sort of igloo

240
00:21:53,740 --> 00:22:00,140
But what you do is you make it by simply a hollowing snow out an actual igloo is in the most astonishing architectural feat

241
00:22:00,339 --> 00:22:02,720
Because it's the only domed building in the world

242
00:22:02,819 --> 00:22:05,859
Which is built without a structure to support it during its construction

243
00:22:05,859 --> 00:22:08,980
Um, but sometimes you don't need long-term accommodation

244
00:22:08,980 --> 00:22:13,099
You just need to protect yourself and what you do is you hollow out snow and that is called a Quincy

245
00:22:13,099 --> 00:22:18,180
The word is actually an indigenous word from northwestern Canada and Alaska, but that is a Quincy

246
00:22:18,180 --> 00:22:20,900
Let's go back to our list Nish, want to pick one out darling?

247
00:22:20,900 --> 00:22:25,619
Quincunks it's to do with die or dice a five-sided dice

248
00:22:25,859 --> 00:22:30,059
So it's the layout of the five on the dice one in each corner and one in the middle

249
00:22:30,180 --> 00:22:36,940
Often used actually as a pattern for planting trees in an orchard Quincunks. Looks like it's a shape modeled on my Quincy

250
00:22:41,380 --> 00:22:45,460
I'm not saying the scale is the same just the general pattern

251
00:22:45,539 --> 00:22:49,059
Yeah, what's upsetting is every time I play with dice now, that is what I'm getting

252
00:22:54,900 --> 00:22:56,900
We've got a four and I've got a David Mitchell

253
00:23:00,900 --> 00:23:07,380
Let's go back to our list quid nunk quid nunk, what do you reckon quid money nunk none

254
00:23:08,180 --> 00:23:10,980
Bankruptcy, I am quid nunk sadly

255
00:23:11,940 --> 00:23:19,220
Well, it is a word that was used particularly in the 18th century it describes an unnecessarily inquisitive person it's Latin for what now

256
00:23:20,019 --> 00:23:24,500
It's really a gossip for quid nunk, but it's good. It's good expression. Isn't it? What have we got left?

257
00:23:25,299 --> 00:23:27,819
Alan Quinn at or it's a five-legged

258
00:23:31,019 --> 00:23:34,859
Five-horned it is exactly right is a five-horned

259
00:23:42,779 --> 00:23:44,779
Deleted scene from the shape of water

260
00:23:46,660 --> 00:23:52,740
Five-horned aquatic monster was supposed to be the father of Merovich who was the founder of the Frankish Merovingian

261
00:23:53,059 --> 00:23:56,900
Dynasty only mentioned once in all of history. He is punching above his waist

262
00:23:58,099 --> 00:24:02,900
There was a guy called Frigar who wrote a history of the francs in the seventh century ad

263
00:24:03,220 --> 00:24:08,819
But otherwise this particular character is entirely lost to history. So it seems to have been this guy's entire fantasy

264
00:24:08,980 --> 00:24:10,980
I love how sort of like oh

265
00:24:11,619 --> 00:24:13,619
What now the fisher?

266
00:24:14,339 --> 00:24:19,059
That's fish all over isn't it though? Yeah, have you ever seen a fish really look impressed?

267
00:24:22,339 --> 00:24:27,619
I've never seen a fish point something out in wonder. No, they're so fucking blase

268
00:24:29,140 --> 00:24:36,539
Okay, well and that's your q vocabulary, uh suitably quintupled

269
00:24:36,619 --> 00:24:42,140
But which do you fancy being quartered with your grandparents or impaled with your other half?

270
00:24:42,619 --> 00:24:49,259
What you reckon is it a family tree question sort of why do you say that well because you've got four grandparents

271
00:24:49,500 --> 00:24:55,420
It's to do with heraldry is the truth of it heraldic convention if you're going to create your own symbol

272
00:24:55,500 --> 00:24:58,380
Yeah, do it in combination with your other half or

273
00:24:59,099 --> 00:25:01,819
With your family exactly that you're on fire today. Whoa

274
00:25:08,990 --> 00:25:10,829
I thought it was going to be something to do with torture

275
00:25:10,829 --> 00:25:13,950
Like would you like to be quartered with your grandparents like a form of old torture?

276
00:25:14,109 --> 00:25:17,470
Like game of thrones ease or something like that game of thrones ease game of thrones

277
00:25:19,710 --> 00:25:21,710
That's what I would

278
00:25:34,210 --> 00:25:36,210
Learning oh

279
00:25:38,049 --> 00:25:42,769
Oh my god something happened and go that's gonna be a gif

280
00:25:42,769 --> 00:25:44,769
So

281
00:25:45,809 --> 00:25:52,930
It's a heraldic convention quartering whereby arms inherited from different ancestral lines are combined into a single coat of arms

282
00:25:53,009 --> 00:25:57,250
This is the one like in the royal coat of arms. It's divided into quarters

283
00:25:57,329 --> 00:25:59,089
It implies that it's divided into four

284
00:25:59,089 --> 00:26:05,829
But there's no theoretical limit to the number of quarters that you can display if you have enough what's called armiderous forebears

285
00:26:06,450 --> 00:26:09,970
It is possible to have all of the elements of your family put into one shield

286
00:26:09,970 --> 00:26:15,490
So in the 18th century the marquis of buckingham he achieved 719 quarters on a single

287
00:26:16,049 --> 00:26:20,210
Shield, I mean looks like a mosaic doesn't it is absolutely looks like a magic eye picture

288
00:26:20,690 --> 00:26:23,650
So the fourth thing that you're talking about darling when it's split into four quadrants

289
00:26:23,650 --> 00:26:27,809
They are called quarters and the arms they contained are called quarterings

290
00:26:28,049 --> 00:26:32,609
But a shield can have as many quarterings as you can quarter it and quarter it and quarter it as you are entitled to

291
00:26:32,769 --> 00:26:39,490
So impalement which was the other one is when a married couple's coat of arms are displayed side by side on a single shield

292
00:26:39,809 --> 00:26:46,049
And by convention the husband's side is the dexter side anybody know which side that is dexter the right it is the right

293
00:26:46,130 --> 00:26:49,170
But it is from the point of view of the knight. It's exactly my darling

294
00:26:49,250 --> 00:26:53,970
Yes extra points to you. It is entirely on the point of view of the person who is actually holding it

295
00:26:54,210 --> 00:26:58,690
Does anybody know what the one on the right might be? Why might you have one that looks like that?

296
00:26:59,250 --> 00:27:02,849
When you've got a couple of wives exactly, right? Is that right? Yes

297
00:27:02,849 --> 00:27:04,849
Oh

298
00:27:15,900 --> 00:27:17,900
At the same time first wife goes on top

299
00:27:20,380 --> 00:27:22,380
Always always

300
00:27:23,740 --> 00:27:26,299
Cause the shots in the bedroom and the grave

301
00:27:29,980 --> 00:27:35,819
So did henry the eighth have one with the stripes why just stripes on the air stripes all the way through

302
00:27:36,779 --> 00:27:38,299
Hanging off it

303
00:27:38,299 --> 00:27:42,059
The college of arms have now updated it and they have same-sex married couples shields as well

304
00:27:42,140 --> 00:27:45,099
It's all a very modern did it all come from having to show what?

305
00:27:45,740 --> 00:27:47,740
The team in the army you were from

306
00:27:48,220 --> 00:27:52,940
Again, that's probably uh terminology. You're not okay with but it's definitely real and nice

307
00:27:53,019 --> 00:27:53,339
Okay

308
00:27:53,339 --> 00:27:58,940
Well, I have the very person who can answer this question for us. We have in the audience the clarenceau king of arms

309
00:27:59,339 --> 00:28:06,910
patrick dickinson

310
00:28:07,069 --> 00:28:10,509
Patrick, thank you so very much for coming in. Why why did it start? Why do we have?

311
00:28:10,910 --> 00:28:12,190
Actually, it's absolutely right

312
00:28:12,190 --> 00:28:18,589
It's because if knights were in armor and you couldn't see who they were the shield told you right and how many are you though?

313
00:28:18,670 --> 00:28:22,430
The kings of arms three in england one in scotland, right four all together

314
00:28:22,829 --> 00:28:25,390
No, there are people who say this is an extraordinary waste of public funds

315
00:28:25,470 --> 00:28:29,230
Do you mind me asking how much you get paid to be the clarenceau king of arms?

316
00:28:29,390 --> 00:28:37,009
And we're not supporting public funds at all. Fantastic. We get salaries from the crown, right which were last increased in 1620

317
00:28:37,970 --> 00:28:39,569
I

318
00:28:39,569 --> 00:28:45,650
Am paid 20 pounds 25 pence by the queen and that is the level to which it was reduced

319
00:28:46,049 --> 00:28:50,369
By william the fourth in the 1830s. You haven't had a pay rise since no

320
00:28:52,369 --> 00:28:55,410
What's like your daily like you get up have your coffee

321
00:28:56,289 --> 00:28:59,170
Check your emails put on your arms like what's your day?

322
00:29:01,009 --> 00:29:06,690
Then do I put on all that kit? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah nice set about designing coats of arms tracing family trees

323
00:29:07,250 --> 00:29:09,809
What's the weirdest thing you've had as a request?

324
00:29:11,410 --> 00:29:15,329
Go on is it by any chance from a d mitchell and it's a penis with a hat on it

325
00:29:21,359 --> 00:29:26,480
It's a urinal on a 60 but a urinal in the sense of a doctor's

326
00:29:27,119 --> 00:29:33,920
Flask and footballs footballs have appeared. I I put one in elton john's coat of arms. That's fantastic

327
00:29:34,000 --> 00:29:37,599
Yeah, it is a real honor to have had the clarenceau king of arms here

328
00:29:38,559 --> 00:29:46,420
Now since we're talking about quads and queens here's a question on multiple births

329
00:29:46,500 --> 00:29:50,579
What's the best way to avoid paying income tax in hungary?

330
00:29:52,900 --> 00:29:54,900
Don't work in hungary

331
00:30:01,680 --> 00:30:06,240
It is in general the most fail-safe way of avoiding income tax avoid income. Yeah

332
00:30:08,400 --> 00:30:10,740
Look at that building, isn't it stunning? It's the parliament in budapest

333
00:30:11,380 --> 00:30:17,000
But the quickest way at present to achieve income tax exemption is to have quadruplets

334
00:30:17,220 --> 00:30:23,619
What I know so february 2019 the prime minister victor auburn announced that women who have four or more children

335
00:30:23,940 --> 00:30:28,019
Will be permanently exempted from income tax. Why might he decide to do this?

336
00:30:28,180 --> 00:30:34,500
I feel like there's probably a not particularly fun answer to this that it's about getting more and more hungarians

337
00:30:35,140 --> 00:30:40,259
It's about immigration. They don't want immigrants. Yeah, they're trying to repopulate with real hungarians. Isn't that a thing?

338
00:30:40,819 --> 00:30:43,779
Essentially encouraging breeding as an act of racism. Yeah

339
00:30:44,819 --> 00:30:51,700
I don't think if I moved to hungary and managed to produce four kids, he'd be thrilled. He wouldn't be delighted

340
00:30:52,900 --> 00:30:55,940
You don't have to have them all at the same time, which is good because having quads

341
00:30:56,019 --> 00:31:01,940
What's like winning the lottery in humans the odds against having twins in a natural birth are 89 to 1 for triplets

342
00:31:02,339 --> 00:31:07,940
It's seven thousand nine hundred and twenty one to one. So 89 squared for quads. It's

343
00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:14,180
704 thousand nine hundred sixty nine to one so it's 89 cubed doesn't the likelihood go up

344
00:31:14,579 --> 00:31:19,059
Through ivf and stuff like that. Yeah, this is a sort of rule of thumb. It's called helen's law

345
00:31:19,380 --> 00:31:23,220
It is just to do with the natural childbirth and natural conception. So looking at that

346
00:31:23,299 --> 00:31:26,180
The best route would be just not to declare all of your income

347
00:31:29,380 --> 00:31:33,299
Can I just say that having quadruplets so much easier for the boy have a look at this picture

348
00:31:33,619 --> 00:31:36,440
She's had four children and he's having a cigar

349
00:31:38,339 --> 00:31:40,339
That's stephen fry

350
00:31:44,339 --> 00:31:48,180
So while we're on the subject what was the toronto stork derby

351
00:31:48,819 --> 00:31:52,660
Is it a race with stalks delivering babies? Yes. Yes

352
00:31:52,819 --> 00:31:57,380
So this was a multi-birth contest in ontario in 1936

353
00:31:57,700 --> 00:32:03,859
It was described by the province's premier mitchell hepburn as the most revolting and disgusting exhibition ever put on

354
00:32:04,099 --> 00:32:08,900
In a civilized country what happened was there was a great guy I think called charles miller

355
00:32:08,900 --> 00:32:10,660
He was a lawyer was a financier

356
00:32:10,660 --> 00:32:15,859
He was a practical joker and he had nobody to leave his money to and so he stated in his will

357
00:32:16,259 --> 00:32:20,660
That whoever could have the most babies in 10 years could have his money

358
00:32:21,460 --> 00:32:27,220
Um, great. Yeah, it attracted a huge amount of interest because some of his investments made a lot of money

359
00:32:27,299 --> 00:32:30,980
It was a huge fortune his $100,000 estate turned into a

360
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:36,740
$750,000 fortune by the end of the race and mothers went crazy

361
00:32:36,819 --> 00:32:39,859
You could you only have 10 maxo surely or like 10 and one on the way

362
00:32:40,099 --> 00:32:44,180
No, if you have multiples if you have twins, you could have six two, but it's 10 times you got 60

363
00:32:45,539 --> 00:32:47,700
So that woman who looks frankly exhausted

364
00:32:48,980 --> 00:32:53,779
Was one of the contestants who had 13 children five women had 56 babies between them

365
00:32:53,940 --> 00:32:58,660
We don't know how many of those were multiple births and in the end the pot was eventually split four ways

366
00:32:59,140 --> 00:33:02,279
With two consolation prizes for women who had been disqualified

367
00:33:04,660 --> 00:33:08,680
Women who've been what what did they get disqualified for maybe they'd adopted

368
00:33:12,259 --> 00:33:14,259
I've adopted 700

369
00:33:15,940 --> 00:33:17,940
Some of the babies were illegitimate and so disqualified

370
00:33:19,059 --> 00:33:22,019
What yeah, that's harsh. He was a great prankster charles miller

371
00:33:22,099 --> 00:33:25,859
He left brewery shares to a prohibitionist campaigning group

372
00:33:27,700 --> 00:33:30,019
On condition that they actually ran the business

373
00:33:30,980 --> 00:33:33,619
Race course shares to anti-gambling clerics

374
00:33:34,420 --> 00:33:39,720
And he left a holiday home in jamaica to three men who hated each other on condition. They all lived in it together indefinitely

375
00:33:44,500 --> 00:33:50,980
The toronto stalk derby the most disgusting exhibition ever well until now it's time for general ignorance

376
00:33:51,460 --> 00:33:53,460
What's your normal temperature?

377
00:33:53,539 --> 00:33:58,180
Isn't it lower if you're a woman than a man slightly higher for a woman slightly higher. Yeah, it was one of the other wasn't it?

378
00:33:58,500 --> 00:34:00,500
Yes

379
00:34:05,539 --> 00:34:09,940
Because you know, there's that stereotype of like turn up the heating but i'm too hot babes

380
00:34:10,420 --> 00:34:15,139
It is an issue that office temperatures are set to male averages. Yeah, supposed to female averages

381
00:34:15,139 --> 00:34:18,980
Do you know a fact about christine lagarde who's ahead? I don't know any facts about christine lagarde

382
00:34:19,699 --> 00:34:22,340
Well, you're about to bloody get one sunday, let's swap chairs

383
00:34:28,260 --> 00:34:30,579
Do you want some cards? Yeah, no, that's got all the answers on here

384
00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:38,840
Of course the interesting about christine lagarde that she used to do was um

385
00:34:44,679 --> 00:34:46,679
I'm trying to get through the fact

386
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:52,619
She went she'd go into business meetings would put on a lot of layers for the meeting

387
00:34:52,940 --> 00:34:57,420
And turn down the heating so it'd be freezing cold and they'd all be shivering so they'd make a deal quicker

388
00:34:57,980 --> 00:35:02,539
Yes, or sometimes she'd turn up the heating really hot and she'd come in in like a a small dress

389
00:35:02,940 --> 00:35:06,460
And the men would get really sweaty and then they'd they'd try and hurry

390
00:35:22,579 --> 00:35:34,500
It has often been said 98.6 is a sort of normal temperature

391
00:35:35,380 --> 00:35:37,380
If you're

392
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:39,699
97.6 is most recently dead

393
00:35:41,219 --> 00:35:43,539
Uh, it turns out there's no single value for normal

394
00:35:43,780 --> 00:35:49,619
There was a study in 1868 by a german doctor with the wonderful name of carl reinhold august vanderleck

395
00:35:50,260 --> 00:35:52,260
He had a thermometer that was a foot long

396
00:35:52,579 --> 00:35:54,739
Put it on a people's armpits and it took 20 god

397
00:35:57,860 --> 00:36:02,500
It took 20 minutes to actually assess what the temperature was and it turns out his the thermometer

398
00:36:02,579 --> 00:36:05,619
Which has been recently retested had been calibrated wrong

399
00:36:05,940 --> 00:36:09,380
And it ran about three degrees higher in fahrenheit than a modern thermometer

400
00:36:09,780 --> 00:36:14,820
And the fact that he took it under the arm which produces readings that are lower and less reliable than temperatures taken orally

401
00:36:15,139 --> 00:36:20,260
Uh, so he was working with errors in both directions basically. It's no wonder he settled entirely on the wrong answer

402
00:36:20,420 --> 00:36:22,820
So there he is there is a picture of an idiot

403
00:36:24,340 --> 00:36:30,019
Well actually you you were inadvertently possibly closest the average actually comes out at about 97.7

404
00:36:30,340 --> 00:36:33,139
You said 97.6. So I think you should get another point with that

405
00:36:39,219 --> 00:36:43,780
So you've each got a way of measuring temperature beside you there so

406
00:36:44,659 --> 00:36:47,539
Let's see which one we think is the most

407
00:36:48,099 --> 00:36:50,099
Reliable niche. What have you got?

408
00:36:50,739 --> 00:36:53,619
I've got a i've got a i've got a sort of piece of paper

409
00:36:53,699 --> 00:36:56,179
Yeah, do you know how those work that was that up the butt?

410
00:36:58,019 --> 00:37:00,019
Well, good luck with that

411
00:37:00,739 --> 00:37:02,739
They're all happy to wait

412
00:37:03,139 --> 00:37:07,139
Does it go on the good on the forehead now? Yeah, why might that not be ideal?

413
00:37:07,860 --> 00:37:11,780
Oh because heat rises to the top. So your head's the hottest part of you

414
00:37:12,659 --> 00:37:15,880
No

415
00:37:15,880 --> 00:37:19,320
I genuinely thought you were going to go. Yes, everyone's gonna go. Ooh

416
00:37:19,719 --> 00:37:21,639
And it just didn't happen at all

417
00:37:21,639 --> 00:37:24,679
So here's the thing. It's measuring the temperature of your skin and not your body

418
00:37:25,480 --> 00:37:28,599
So similarly if you put it on your scrotum, that would be wrong

419
00:37:29,559 --> 00:37:34,519
The reason men have a scrotum is it's deliberately to keep the balls a bit cooler than the rest of the body

420
00:37:34,599 --> 00:37:35,079
Yes

421
00:37:35,079 --> 00:37:38,039
I did not know that a better way would be to design

422
00:37:38,179 --> 00:37:41,400
Testicles in a way that it can be at the same temperature as the rest of the body

423
00:37:41,400 --> 00:37:43,400
But it was in some way fudged

424
00:37:45,639 --> 00:37:49,000
I know it's fine to have them in a disgusting flesh bag

425
00:37:51,320 --> 00:37:54,199
That's workable for a few hundreds of thousands of years

426
00:37:55,159 --> 00:37:57,559
I love that we've agreed on disgusting flesh bag

427
00:37:59,719 --> 00:38:02,679
You know, the isle of white is only 7 000 years old

428
00:38:03,800 --> 00:38:05,800
Are you saying

429
00:38:07,239 --> 00:38:09,239
Are you saying it's like the scrotum of english

430
00:38:11,159 --> 00:38:16,199
Below kept slightly cooler by the water. I wouldn't like to say that to the people on the island

431
00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:19,880
Come back

432
00:38:20,519 --> 00:38:26,599
Uh actually what have you got darling? I have one of these little lads. Where would you put that ear?

433
00:38:27,159 --> 00:38:31,559
No, it would go under your tongue. Why do I go under the tongue over the tongue underneath?

434
00:38:31,559 --> 00:38:35,239
The tongue is full of blood vessels. It's almost as accurate as your rectal area

435
00:38:40,710 --> 00:38:42,710
Listen sometimes it pays to get here early

436
00:38:48,469 --> 00:38:51,269
It's the first time i've heard a rectal area described as accurate

437
00:38:51,829 --> 00:39:00,630
I've got this it's your ear. Yeah, i've accidentally turned it on. It currently says 35.5 which seems very high for the air

438
00:39:02,230 --> 00:39:05,110
That's just it's hot in here. I said, oh, I thought it was just my age

439
00:39:06,469 --> 00:39:10,869
Shall I pop it in? Yes, go see what your temperature is. You can hear the sea apparently as well

440
00:39:11,909 --> 00:39:14,230
yours my darling is actually a garden thermometer, but um

441
00:39:16,550 --> 00:39:21,030
We couldn't get rectal thermometers because they don't really allow them anymore. Why might that be

442
00:39:21,510 --> 00:39:23,510
too fun

443
00:39:26,070 --> 00:39:30,789
Very dangerous you forget you put it in then you sit down and it reappears out of your mouth

444
00:39:32,389 --> 00:39:34,869
Shards of glass when they break mercury

445
00:39:35,590 --> 00:39:41,349
Unbelievable, what is your temperature? It says 36.1 which considering it's 35.5 in the room

446
00:39:42,869 --> 00:39:50,840
Pretty cool. Here's the easiest question ever. What city are we looking at here?

447
00:39:50,840 --> 00:39:52,840
here

448
00:39:55,320 --> 00:39:56,920
Westminster

449
00:39:56,920 --> 00:39:58,920
Uh, yes

450
00:40:03,690 --> 00:40:08,409
The city of westminster, uh, there's also another city in london. What is the other city in london london?

451
00:40:08,809 --> 00:40:10,809
It is the city of london. So the yes

452
00:40:12,889 --> 00:40:14,889
Wow good to be that excited

453
00:40:15,929 --> 00:40:21,690
We have the city of london, which is the financial district but greater london is actually a ceremonial county

454
00:40:22,250 --> 00:40:28,090
Rather than a city and so the conurbation which we call london it contains two cities. It is not itself

455
00:40:28,489 --> 00:40:33,050
Officially a city. Uh, what is the difference however between a city and a town?

456
00:40:33,690 --> 00:40:36,670
Well, it used to be that cities had cathedrals

457
00:40:41,400 --> 00:40:44,840
There's somebody obviously in the gallery can't hear the phrase it used to be

458
00:40:47,320 --> 00:40:50,219
The city has a multiplex and anandos

459
00:40:50,219 --> 00:40:52,219
Anandos

460
00:40:53,179 --> 00:40:56,460
It's a purely honorific thing it's granted by the sovereign by lettuce payton

461
00:40:56,780 --> 00:41:01,099
Um, and it has nothing to do with whether you have a cathedral there are now 18 cities without a cathedral

462
00:41:01,099 --> 00:41:04,780
There are 16 towns that have cathedrals, um, but are not cities

463
00:41:05,420 --> 00:41:09,099
And lastly here's a quadrilateral is this shape?

464
00:41:09,739 --> 00:41:10,780
a

465
00:41:10,780 --> 00:41:12,619
a square

466
00:41:12,619 --> 00:41:15,179
a rectangle and an oblong or b

467
00:41:16,059 --> 00:41:19,099
A square and a rectangle but not an oblong

468
00:41:19,739 --> 00:41:26,219
Or c an oblong and a square but not a rectangle or d a triangle

469
00:41:28,699 --> 00:41:30,699
Who's whispering in the audience

470
00:41:31,500 --> 00:41:32,460
B

471
00:41:32,460 --> 00:41:34,219
She sounds like she knows

472
00:41:34,219 --> 00:41:40,460
Yeah, you like that. Yeah your surname you want to go with it. Yeah, i'm bling b please b please is absolutely right

473
00:41:40,539 --> 00:41:42,539
Well done to the audience. Oh what?

474
00:41:46,349 --> 00:41:50,590
Is defined as a quadrilateral with four right angles and a square complies with that definition

475
00:41:50,670 --> 00:41:55,630
So a square is a rectangle. I mean, it's a special kind of rectangle. It has four sides of the same length

476
00:41:55,949 --> 00:42:00,670
But an oblong is defined as a rectangle, which is specifically not a square

477
00:42:00,750 --> 00:42:04,909
So the square in our picture is a square and a rectangle but not an oblong

478
00:42:04,989 --> 00:42:08,750
Well, I think strictly speaking that point ought to go to the audience. Yeah

479
00:42:09,389 --> 00:42:15,150
Which brings me to the quinquadrily business of the scores. Let's see what kind of shape they are in

480
00:42:15,710 --> 00:42:18,349
In first place the winner fair and square with minus four is david

481
00:42:19,070 --> 00:42:25,130
The second place with minus five alan

482
00:42:26,250 --> 00:42:32,670
And seven ashley

483
00:42:37,159 --> 00:42:39,159
With minus eight the audience

484
00:42:39,719 --> 00:42:50,280
And in last place i'm afraid it's back to square one with minus 18 nish

485
00:42:51,400 --> 00:43:02,030
And that exhausts the possibilities of quads and queens for tonight

486
00:43:02,110 --> 00:43:07,070
So it's thanks to ashling nish david and alan and I leave you with this quote about quads

487
00:43:07,469 --> 00:43:12,190
In 1851 charles calverley was showing some visitors around balial college oxford

488
00:43:12,429 --> 00:43:15,949
This is balial college he announced as he led them through the front quad

489
00:43:16,110 --> 00:43:19,070
This is the master's lodgings. He continued waving at the building

490
00:43:19,389 --> 00:43:23,469
He then bent down picked a stone from the path and held it through a nearby window

491
00:43:23,789 --> 00:43:28,510
And that he said pointing to the man screaming at them through the shattered glass is the master himself