2 00:00:32,960 --> 00:00:37,960 Welcome to QI, where tonight's show is rather Ruff and Reddy. 3 00:00:37,960 --> 00:00:39,640 At the ready, Tom Allen. 4 00:00:39,640 --> 00:00:40,880 Hello. 6 00:00:43,760 --> 00:00:45,720 Good and ready, Zoe Lyons. 7 00:00:45,720 --> 00:00:47,520 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 8 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:50,920 Ready for action, Susan Calman. 9 00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:59,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 10 00:01:03,560 --> 00:01:06,120 Their buzzers are rough stuff. Tom goes... 11 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,840 LOUD SCRAPING 12 00:01:07,840 --> 00:01:09,360 Ooh. What's that?! 13 00:01:09,360 --> 00:01:12,040 It's a concrete brick being dragged. 14 00:01:12,040 --> 00:01:14,720 Oh, dragged up, like, with a wig and a dress? 15 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,480 High heels. 16 00:01:21,080 --> 00:01:22,840 Of course. 17 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,080 I have to put up with that every morning! Every morning. 18 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:27,680 Susan goes... 19 00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:30,320 HIGH-PITCHED METALLIC GRINDING 20 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:38,520 And Alan goes... 21 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,400 DOG WOOFS 22 00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:41,960 Oh, "ruff, ruff," you see. 23 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:47,720 You should see the other guy, Sandi. 24 00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:49,360 What's happened to your nose? Come on. 25 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:50,760 I tripped over my own feet, 26 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:53,840 and I suppose, at my age, that is a fall, isn't it? 27 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,240 Yes. 28 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,840 Log the time and date and then the frequency of future falls. 29 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:00,680 Yeah. Did a social worker come round 30 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,360 to see if you needed any handles anywhere? 31 00:02:03,360 --> 00:02:06,800 Actually, my wife is a nurse and it was really interesting to see her 32 00:02:06,800 --> 00:02:09,120 go to complete and utter pieces. 33 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,320 If there's any silver lining to this cloud, the peas that have been 34 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:18,680 in our freezer for the last 15 years, got used. 35 00:02:18,680 --> 00:02:20,640 Has anybody ever been in an actual fist fight? 36 00:02:20,640 --> 00:02:22,280 Um, well... No! 37 00:02:25,240 --> 00:02:28,200 Why do you think I'm wearing this neck brace? 38 00:02:28,200 --> 00:02:30,480 No, but I've been doing boxing lately and... What?! 39 00:02:30,480 --> 00:02:34,120 Yes, Sandi! You wouldn't believe it, but I have. 40 00:02:34,120 --> 00:02:35,720 And I'm very good at it... 41 00:02:35,720 --> 00:02:37,640 ..so the man I do it with says. 42 00:02:39,200 --> 00:02:42,040 Right. I thought we might start with a little bit of soup to begin. 43 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:46,200 So you've each got a bowl here of beetroot soup. 44 00:02:46,200 --> 00:02:49,920 So, what I want you do is, I want you to demonstrate, please, 45 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:51,800 how to eat this bowl of beetroot soup 46 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:55,080 without getting your ruff all red. 47 00:02:56,840 --> 00:03:00,840 Ooh, that...seems to be very wise. 48 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:03,120 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 49 00:03:09,120 --> 00:03:11,360 Zoe, I think you've definitely nailed it. 50 00:03:11,360 --> 00:03:13,160 I think that is the... Whoa! 51 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:15,880 I bought one of those La-z-Boy sofas... Yeah. 52 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:19,240 ..and I can eat completely horizontal. 53 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:21,840 OK, well, they didn't have those sofas in Elizabethan times. 54 00:03:21,840 --> 00:03:25,920 What they did have, in fact, was a spoon specifically for eating... 55 00:03:25,920 --> 00:03:28,120 Are you just going to drink the whole...? 56 00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,160 Do you like beetroot soup? I love all soup. 57 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,600 Yeah, but be careful with beetroot, cos, in the morning, 58 00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:34,680 you'll think you need a colonoscopy. Oh, yes. 59 00:03:36,360 --> 00:03:38,480 It's a terrible thing. See if that's any easier. 60 00:03:38,480 --> 00:03:39,560 This is a ruff spoon. 61 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:41,400 So, ruff's were... Actually very small. 62 00:03:41,400 --> 00:03:43,720 Do you like that? Hm. It's rather lovely, isn't it? 63 00:03:43,720 --> 00:03:45,480 There's more wobble with a longer spoon. 64 00:03:45,480 --> 00:03:47,280 Oh, do you not like the longer spoon, then? 65 00:03:47,280 --> 00:03:48,600 I find it more difficult. 66 00:03:48,600 --> 00:03:51,040 And what about if you fed each other? Would that be easier? 67 00:03:51,040 --> 00:03:52,640 Oh, yes! Oh... Oh, yes! 68 00:03:52,640 --> 00:03:54,360 SHE LAUGHS EXCITEDLY 69 00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:57,360 I don't know if that would be easier. 70 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:01,240 This is like... Oh! I think that's rather beautiful! 71 00:04:01,240 --> 00:04:02,600 I think... Yes. 72 00:04:02,600 --> 00:04:05,400 APPLAUSE Yeah, I think that's rather lovely. 73 00:04:06,880 --> 00:04:08,680 It's like Lady And The Tramp. Oh. 74 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:12,160 No! It's gone all down Susan's ruff. 75 00:04:12,160 --> 00:04:14,200 Oh, Susan, I'm sorry. Tom! 76 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:16,680 But the sight of you slurping, that was 77 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:19,360 so disgusting that I kind of dropped the spoon. 78 00:04:19,360 --> 00:04:22,400 So, they were ubiquitous in high society... 79 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:25,400 Oh, Susan, for goodness' sake! Susan, I'm sorry. 80 00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:28,160 We're talking 1560s to 1620s, but everybody wore them - 81 00:04:28,160 --> 00:04:31,680 women, men, young people, old people. Dogs. 82 00:04:31,680 --> 00:04:34,760 Well, dogs still do, in a funny sort of way, don't they? 83 00:04:34,760 --> 00:04:36,160 The big cone. Yeah. 84 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:38,440 Throw a biscuit in the cone, drives them mad. 85 00:04:44,520 --> 00:04:48,200 They will not rest. They will not rest! No. 86 00:04:48,200 --> 00:04:50,560 I saw a dog walking down the seafront the other day 87 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:53,560 in one of those massive cones, and it was a really, really windy day, 88 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,320 but he was walking with the wind at his tail 89 00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:57,040 and he was going along quite happily. 90 00:04:57,040 --> 00:04:59,880 I thought, "Yeah, well, wait till you turn round, mate!" 91 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:03,840 So, the biggest ones were worn by Elizabeth I, 92 00:05:03,840 --> 00:05:06,440 because, frankly, nobody else had the money to be able to. 93 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:08,480 How big? How big did she go? Oh, look at...! Wow! 94 00:05:08,480 --> 00:05:09,720 They were enormous. 95 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:12,040 So you have to imagine, it's up to seven yards of cloth, 96 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,400 so imagine at least between Susan and Zoe, 97 00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,040 that kind of length of cloth. 98 00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:18,760 600 pleats and soaked in starch, 99 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,920 so unbelievably difficult to wear. 100 00:05:20,920 --> 00:05:23,920 You did it with something called a goffering iron, 101 00:05:23,920 --> 00:05:26,360 and this is what it looked like. Wa-bang! Yeah. 102 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:28,560 Wooow! 103 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:36,880 Well, I think once you've done the ruff, 104 00:05:36,880 --> 00:05:39,560 you think, what shall I do now? 105 00:05:39,560 --> 00:05:42,560 But a modern theatrical costume designer takes about three hours 106 00:05:42,560 --> 00:05:44,400 to set a ruff. It shows how wealthy you are. 107 00:05:49,560 --> 00:05:52,280 Yeah, and literally looking down your nose at people, aren't you? 108 00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:53,960 Yeah. This would be the worst part of it, 109 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:56,920 because I already struggle. The other day, I took off my bra 110 00:05:56,920 --> 00:05:58,760 and there were biscuits in it. 111 00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:03,600 I'm sorry, biscuit pieces or you were hoarding? 112 00:06:03,600 --> 00:06:05,240 I'd eaten some shortbread, 113 00:06:05,240 --> 00:06:07,800 and when I took off my bra, it was like bonus biscuits. I ate them. 114 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,280 If I was going to pick a biscuit for you, it would be shortbread. 115 00:06:12,760 --> 00:06:14,720 It's difficult enough for me to eat without... 116 00:06:14,720 --> 00:06:16,920 I always slitter on myself. What? 117 00:06:16,920 --> 00:06:18,640 You what? Slitter on yourself. 118 00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:21,440 Slitter on yourself? You eat... 119 00:06:21,440 --> 00:06:23,480 There was a rule against that at boarding school. 120 00:06:25,200 --> 00:06:27,680 The starching was brought in... It was a Dutch speciality. 121 00:06:27,680 --> 00:06:30,200 It was introduced by immigrants into this country. 122 00:06:31,120 --> 00:06:35,520 Sorry - somebody can't keep their spoon in their bowl. 123 00:06:35,520 --> 00:06:37,640 Have you got soup all over the table as well? 124 00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:44,600 What about if you get just a big straw...? 125 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,560 Or a reed, you know? 126 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:48,640 HE SLURPS 127 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,520 Yeah, some reed would work well, wouldn't it? 128 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:52,120 Eurgh, soup through a straw! 129 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,240 Eurgh! 130 00:06:53,240 --> 00:06:54,760 Well, it'll come to us all, Zoe! 131 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:57,720 I've had a fall. 132 00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:01,560 Did you get these on Tudor airlines? 133 00:07:02,640 --> 00:07:05,520 Under your seat in case of an emergency. 134 00:07:05,520 --> 00:07:06,720 You might have to sit on this 135 00:07:06,720 --> 00:07:08,560 if you'd had some sort of operation... Yes. 136 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:10,600 ..presumably involving that very implement. 137 00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:15,200 So, there was a Dutch woman called Mistress Dinghen van den Plasse, 138 00:07:15,200 --> 00:07:16,680 and she came to London in 1564. 139 00:07:16,680 --> 00:07:18,960 She used to give lessons in how to starch ruffs. 140 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,720 She charged £5, which doesn't sound like a lot, 141 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:25,320 but it was £1,500, equivalent, today. 142 00:07:25,320 --> 00:07:28,480 And then if you did the extra starch-making module, 143 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:30,360 that was another pound, so that was 300 quid. 144 00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:33,680 So even just to learn how to do it was fantastically expensive. 145 00:07:33,680 --> 00:07:35,880 Now, you've all got white ruffs on, 146 00:07:35,880 --> 00:07:37,840 and the paintings often show them as white, 147 00:07:43,080 --> 00:07:44,840 That you're better than us? 148 00:07:44,840 --> 00:07:46,760 No, I'm a prostitute! 149 00:07:49,680 --> 00:07:52,080 And/or from Scotland. Oh! 150 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,920 Oh... 151 00:07:53,920 --> 00:07:55,560 I'm just putting it out there. 152 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,120 Prostitutes wore blue ruffs? 153 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,840 So, one of the reasons why we have lots of white in paintings 154 00:07:59,840 --> 00:08:01,880 is because of successive restorations, 155 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:03,920 but, in fact, there were lots of colours of ruffs. 156 00:08:03,920 --> 00:08:06,080 They were principally pink or saffron yellow. 157 00:08:06,080 --> 00:08:08,200 Queen Elizabeth I did not like blue 158 00:08:08,200 --> 00:08:10,480 because they were associated with what used to be called 159 00:08:10,480 --> 00:08:12,400 Winchester geese, which is prostitutes. 160 00:08:12,400 --> 00:08:14,080 Why were they called Winchester geese? 161 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:16,640 Because the Bishop of Winchester owned so many brothels. 162 00:08:19,280 --> 00:08:21,720 So, if I wore it to come down to London town, I would have been 163 00:08:21,720 --> 00:08:22,960 a Scottish whore, basically? 164 00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:24,880 Because I would have worn a blue ruff. 165 00:08:24,880 --> 00:08:26,400 That's quite unfair, I believe. 166 00:08:26,400 --> 00:08:29,480 Well, the big question is, what did prostitutes wear in Scotland? 167 00:08:29,480 --> 00:08:31,440 Yeah. It must have been very confusing. 168 00:08:31,440 --> 00:08:33,720 Yes. "Are you a prostitute?" "No, I'm just Scottish." 169 00:08:35,920 --> 00:08:37,480 That's the name of my autobiography. 170 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,600 It was started by Philip IV of Spain. 171 00:08:46,600 --> 00:08:48,400 That's just a collar. 172 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:51,080 Well, he just wanted to dial back on the ostentation. 173 00:08:51,080 --> 00:08:53,600 The ruff had become such a symbol of upper-class idleness 174 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:55,720 that they thought they'd better dial it back a bit. 175 00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:58,160 And in Britain, we had another successor to the ruff, 176 00:08:58,160 --> 00:08:59,480 and that was the piccadill. 177 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,880 And where do we remember that in London? 178 00:09:01,880 --> 00:09:04,040 Oh, Piccadilly Circus. 179 00:09:04,040 --> 00:09:05,640 Piccadilly Circus - absolutely. 180 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:07,400 There was a place called Piccadilly Hall 181 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:09,200 that was owned by a man called Robert Baker, 182 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:11,480 and he provided piccadills to people. 183 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:14,280 And what were Scottish prostitutes wearing about this time? 184 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:18,040 Just so I know, Sandi, so I can go back home and just say, 185 00:09:18,040 --> 00:09:20,400 "You'll never guess what I found out on QI - 186 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:22,400 "it's what Scottish prostitutes wore." 187 00:09:24,520 --> 00:09:26,480 And ruffs, of course, as we said, still worn 188 00:09:26,480 --> 00:09:31,160 by dogs and - very strangely - by ministers of the Church of Denmark. 189 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:32,240 I don't know why. 190 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,880 I thought you were going to say Scottish prostitutes! 191 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:37,160 I tell you, you go out in Glasgow any night of the week, 192 00:09:37,160 --> 00:09:39,080 you can tell them a mile away - you really can. 193 00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:40,880 While we're on the subject of prostitutes, 194 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:43,320 who wants to hear about some "ruff" sex? 195 00:09:47,400 --> 00:09:50,760 I am talking about the rough sandpaper... 196 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:53,120 Sorry, I'll say it again. Not rough sand... 197 00:09:53,120 --> 00:09:55,320 You said it with some degree of relish. 198 00:09:55,320 --> 00:09:57,760 I did, yeah. She did! I did. 199 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,680 That was one of the sexiest things you've ever said on QI. 200 00:10:00,680 --> 00:10:03,560 Nothing I like more, I find more of a turn-on than carpentry. 201 00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:05,280 No... Um... 202 00:10:06,960 --> 00:10:08,920 Which is weirdly true. 203 00:10:08,920 --> 00:10:12,320 A ruff sandpiper, is what I meant to say. 204 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:16,160 This is nature's most gender-fluid bird. 205 00:10:16,160 --> 00:10:18,480 So, you can see they've got the ruff a bit like 206 00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:19,960 the sort of Elizabethan ruff, 207 00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:23,360 but this particular bird, there are three types of male 208 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:25,040 and they differ in mating behaviour. 209 00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,520 So the one that you've got on the left there 210 00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:29,840 is called a territorial, or an independent male. 211 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,680 They've got the dark neck ruff and they make it stand up. 212 00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:35,920 The satellite males, they've got the white neck ruff. 213 00:10:35,920 --> 00:10:39,440 They will, frankly, go after any woman who will have them. 214 00:10:39,440 --> 00:10:41,520 And then we have the faeders. 215 00:10:41,520 --> 00:10:44,920 The faeders look identical to females and they will very quickly 216 00:10:44,920 --> 00:10:48,320 have sex with a female who hadn't spotted that they were coming. 217 00:10:50,440 --> 00:10:53,320 But they also are quite happy to have homosexual pairings 218 00:10:53,320 --> 00:10:55,920 with the independent and territorial ones. 219 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:57,280 That's fantastic. Yeah. 220 00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,480 Right, ruffs off, soup away! 221 00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:02,560 Just pop those down there. 222 00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:05,680 Right. Name an animal that will attack... Dog! 223 00:11:08,960 --> 00:11:10,360 I think, extra point to Alan. 224 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:12,920 I mean, he was fast. Do you not think? He was. 225 00:11:12,920 --> 00:11:14,920 What do you think, audience? Extra point to Alan? 226 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,040 CHEERING 227 00:11:14,920 --> 00:11:17,040 Yeah. 228 00:11:17,040 --> 00:11:18,680 APPLAUSE 229 00:11:18,680 --> 00:11:19,720 One! 230 00:11:22,040 --> 00:11:23,880 Ready? Name an animal... 231 00:11:23,880 --> 00:11:25,160 Horse! 232 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,960 Name an animal that will attack anything red. 233 00:11:30,960 --> 00:11:32,360 Bull. 234 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,280 KLAXON BLARES 235 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,280 Ah... 236 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:37,080 Why do you think that? 237 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:41,080 Because I've seen clips of those dreadful matadors, 238 00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:43,320 where they wave the red and then the bull goes for it. 239 00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,880 Yeah, it's the movement, not the colour, that is attracting... 240 00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,640 Really?! Yes, darling. I know! 241 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,600 They're not bothered by any particular colour. 242 00:11:49,600 --> 00:11:51,720 It just gets irritated by the cloth-waving. 243 00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:54,840 It would be a nightmare in a curtain shop, wouldn't it? Yes. 244 00:11:54,840 --> 00:11:57,440 I'm surprised that's not a saying, isn't it? 245 00:11:57,440 --> 00:11:59,120 "Like a bull in a curtain shop"? 246 00:12:00,400 --> 00:12:02,720 The one animal which does see red in both senses 247 00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,840 is the tiny little robin. 248 00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:11,200 And huge, they're huge as well! 249 00:12:12,440 --> 00:12:15,680 10% of robin deaths are due to fractured skulls 250 00:12:15,680 --> 00:12:18,320 from altercations with other robins. 251 00:12:18,320 --> 00:12:21,760 I thought it was when they were stapled to Christmas cards. Yeah. 252 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,040 So there were some experiments done by a man called 253 00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:28,120 David Lack in 1943, and he showed that a robin would attack 254 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:30,600 a stuffed robin placed in its territory. 255 00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:40,240 But the robin attacked, and the head came off the stuffed robin, 256 00:12:40,240 --> 00:12:41,800 and the robin carried on. 257 00:12:41,800 --> 00:12:45,360 He began to wonder how little stuffed robin you would need 258 00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:48,200 in order to prompt this particular response. 259 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:51,400 So he mounted various body parts on trees and so on, 260 00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:53,760 and he found, as long as red feathers were present, 261 00:12:53,760 --> 00:12:55,200 the robin would attack. 262 00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:59,080 A headless, wingless, tailless, legless, bodiless bundle 263 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:02,160 of red feathers was still a legitimate target... Wow. 264 00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:03,880 ..as far as a robin was concerned. 265 00:13:03,880 --> 00:13:06,560 In fact, the robin would sometimes attack a tomato 266 00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:08,080 left on the bird table. 267 00:13:08,080 --> 00:13:10,600 I bet the Nazis were terrified, weren't they? I know! 268 00:13:11,920 --> 00:13:14,200 So robins can't look in mirrors, then, clearly? 269 00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:16,320 Cos that would just set themselves off. It would. 270 00:13:16,320 --> 00:13:18,440 They'd be like, "Oh! Oh! What are you...?! Come on, then! 271 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,600 "Come on, then, now. Let's have a go!" Exactly that. 272 00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:23,360 You'd think the red breast is something to attract before mating? 273 00:13:23,360 --> 00:13:25,640 Yeah. It isn't that at all. It's a warning to stay away. 274 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:29,040 So a robin's breast gets bigger and redder with each year, 275 00:13:29,040 --> 00:13:32,520 so the bigger and redder the breast, the more fights it's had. 276 00:13:32,520 --> 00:13:33,960 And you don't want to... 277 00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:36,240 It's like working with... 278 00:13:36,240 --> 00:13:38,480 It's like working with children! 279 00:13:40,240 --> 00:13:42,200 You just said "big and "red" and "breast" together 280 00:13:42,200 --> 00:13:43,640 and it set me off. Yeah. 281 00:13:43,640 --> 00:13:45,840 And "bigger every year"! See her round the pool. 282 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:47,560 Look at that - big, red breasts. Wahey! 283 00:13:48,800 --> 00:13:51,800 Do you think that robins come back to your garden year after year? Yes. 284 00:13:51,800 --> 00:13:53,080 Oh, yes, they love it. 285 00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:57,680 Well, they don't last very long. 286 00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:01,360 So only 25% of newborns get through the very first year, 287 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:04,080 less than 1% make it to the age of five. 288 00:14:04,080 --> 00:14:06,360 The lifespan is about 1.1 years for a robin, 289 00:14:06,360 --> 00:14:07,760 so they don't actually live... 290 00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,400 I thought it was the same robins coming back to my garden, 291 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,480 fat robin and thin robin. Yeah. 292 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:14,440 No. No? Not a thing, I'm afraid. 293 00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:17,240 Well, no, probably the robin you know is dead. 294 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:23,760 And so is the other one! Yeah. 295 00:14:24,960 --> 00:14:27,280 Sorry about that. Jesus Christ! Happy Christmas! 296 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:29,160 Jesus Christ! She was really quite harsh there. 297 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,800 "No, it's dead, Susan." It's dead, Susan. 298 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:34,240 I was a terrible parent. 299 00:14:34,240 --> 00:14:36,360 "No, the gerbil died." Now... 300 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:41,600 On the subject of animals being able to see in colour, 301 00:14:41,600 --> 00:14:44,520 how do tigers get away with being orange? 302 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:47,200 That seems an extraordinary colour to be, does it not? Ooh! 303 00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,160 Such a bright colour, you would imagine impossible 304 00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:50,520 to sneak up on your prey. 305 00:14:50,520 --> 00:14:54,120 I think being a tiger probably puts other animals off. 306 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:57,040 Yeah. Yeah, it's that. You can choose your own outfit. Yeah. 307 00:14:57,040 --> 00:15:01,400 I mean, they can pretty much have neon lights, high heels 308 00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:04,680 and party hats on and still be a tiger. Yeah. 309 00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:13,920 are orange-green colour-blind. 310 00:15:13,920 --> 00:15:16,200 So they've only got two colour receptors in their eyes, 311 00:15:16,200 --> 00:15:17,840 they are dichromats. 312 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:21,280 Now, we wanted to try and recreate the jungle for you, so... 313 00:15:27,120 --> 00:15:29,760 So, if you imagine that the tiger is hiding, right? 314 00:15:29,760 --> 00:15:32,280 Look, can you see, it's hiding? You can see it hiding there? 315 00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:34,920 So, this tiger seems very louche. You can see him cos he's orange. 316 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:37,560 Look at his eyes - he's not out to get anything! 317 00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,080 No, well, but, when you... 318 00:15:39,080 --> 00:15:42,640 He's out to complain, maybe in his local Pret a Manger. 319 00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:45,400 I want you to see what a deer would see, 320 00:15:45,400 --> 00:15:48,040 because they cannot see those colours - orange and green. 321 00:15:48,040 --> 00:15:50,240 So there's what we might be able to see. Yeah. 322 00:15:50,240 --> 00:15:54,280 But what they would be able to see is a slightly fuzzier picture. Oh! 323 00:15:54,280 --> 00:15:55,760 It sort of would blend... I know. 324 00:15:55,760 --> 00:15:57,720 And, in fact, it wouldn't even be that green. 325 00:15:57,720 --> 00:15:59,520 It would be more of a sort of muddy colour, 326 00:15:59,520 --> 00:16:00,840 so that the thing would hide. 327 00:16:00,840 --> 00:16:02,520 So, you might think to yourself - 328 00:16:02,520 --> 00:16:03,680 have you ever seen pictures 329 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:05,720 of American deer hunters, for example, 330 00:16:05,720 --> 00:16:08,360 and they wear those bright fluorescent orange vests? 331 00:16:08,360 --> 00:16:09,520 They wear those so that 332 00:16:09,520 --> 00:16:11,200 Dick Cheney doesn't shoot them. 333 00:16:12,960 --> 00:16:14,960 But also because... There they are, 334 00:16:14,960 --> 00:16:17,400 and you'd think that surely all the quarry will see them, 335 00:16:17,400 --> 00:16:19,920 but of course they can't, because they are trying to shoot deer, 336 00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,840 and deer cannot see orange and green. 337 00:16:22,840 --> 00:16:26,280 The friendly garden robin - redbreast by name - 338 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:27,920 headcase by nature. 339 00:16:29,200 --> 00:16:30,440 I'll pop him down there. 340 00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:33,440 Let me just put the rainforest away as well. There we go. 341 00:16:33,440 --> 00:16:37,640 Right. What's red and black and a complete racket? 342 00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:40,680 Ooh, Dennis the Menace falling down the stairs! 343 00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:43,640 That's so sweet. I love that. Extra point. 344 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:45,240 Thank you, Sandi! 345 00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,680 Sorry, do you get extra points for being cute? Yes! 346 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:49,480 Yeah, good luck with that! 347 00:16:49,480 --> 00:16:50,520 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 348 00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:59,320 Black and white and red all over - I know that one. 349 00:16:59,320 --> 00:17:01,080 What is that? Newspaper. 350 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:03,600 What goes black white, black white, 351 00:17:03,600 --> 00:17:05,320 black white, black white, black white? 352 00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:06,760 Is it a nun falling down the stairs? 353 00:17:11,160 --> 00:17:13,360 Table tennis rackets. Oh... 354 00:17:13,360 --> 00:17:15,120 They are, aren't they? Wonder why! 355 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:17,320 Any shape, any size, any weight, 356 00:17:17,320 --> 00:17:20,640 but they have to be red on one side and black on the other. 357 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:22,400 Sorry, any size, did you say? Yes. 358 00:17:22,400 --> 00:17:25,240 If you wanted to, you could play with an enormous... Are you serious? 359 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,160 Yes. So the rule is... Why wouldn't you?! 360 00:17:27,160 --> 00:17:29,280 Because it's difficult. You can't spin it and... 361 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:31,720 No, cos the ball's tiny. That's why I'm really bad at it. 362 00:17:31,720 --> 00:17:33,280 Get a tea tray and a broom handle. 363 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,440 Just a massive... Any weight and any size? 364 00:17:35,440 --> 00:17:36,720 Yeah. Any weight, any size... 365 00:17:36,720 --> 00:17:40,200 You'd have a lightweight one that would be 18 foot in diameter - 366 00:17:40,200 --> 00:17:41,320 that's what you'd have. 367 00:17:41,320 --> 00:17:43,280 And just stand at the other end of the table. Yeah. 368 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,440 And just, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum, dum! 369 00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:47,560 But the red and black thing - anybody know why? 370 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,920 Oh, is it so they can also be used to park an aeroplane? 371 00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:54,560 I'm going to say something now, 372 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:56,840 and it's something that someone said to me once and... 373 00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:59,480 You can spin it differently depending on the different side... 374 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:02,360 Yes. That's what I was told at the youth club. Is correct. 375 00:18:02,360 --> 00:18:03,720 Oh! Susan! 376 00:18:03,720 --> 00:18:05,600 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 377 00:18:10,320 --> 00:18:12,040 So, they introduced this rule in 1986 378 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,680 because players were using rubbers 379 00:18:13,680 --> 00:18:16,480 with different characteristics on the different sides, 380 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,520 and the opponent needed to see which one you were using in each shot. 381 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:22,520 What happened was, in 1980, there was a player called John Hilton, 382 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:24,640 and he won the European men's singles title, 383 00:18:24,640 --> 00:18:26,640 and it was a shock result. 384 00:18:26,640 --> 00:18:29,680 And the reason it was a shock result is that he was only 385 00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:39,440 But he had one of these combination rackets and nobody could work out 386 00:18:39,440 --> 00:18:42,760 which side he was using, and what they needed to do was to see 387 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,440 which side you were using, because it mattered to the opponent. 388 00:18:45,440 --> 00:18:47,720 But what we really want to do with our rackets 389 00:18:53,520 --> 00:18:56,320 and we can see that they have 390 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:59,480 one red side and they have one black side. Oooh! 391 00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:02,080 Now, what I want you to do is hold your rackets red side up, 392 00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:03,760 like this. OK? 393 00:19:03,760 --> 00:19:06,280 Smells funny. Oh, it does! Oh, yeah! 394 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:11,160 You could get high as a kite. Oh! Yeah. 395 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:12,840 What is that? Glue? 396 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,720 You don't need to know what I was doing in the back of Kwik Fit. 397 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:26,800 But it wasn't quick and it didn't fit! 398 00:19:28,920 --> 00:19:30,600 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 399 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,160 Have we got any balls? No, we're not doing that. 400 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:43,840 We are going to toss them in the air, so that the rackets spin over, 401 00:19:43,840 --> 00:19:46,840 and I want you to catch it red side up again. 402 00:19:46,840 --> 00:19:49,280 Oh... Oh, OK. OK? 403 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:50,400 Argh! 404 00:19:51,680 --> 00:19:53,760 So, mine's come up black. 405 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:55,200 Black. 406 00:19:55,200 --> 00:19:56,280 Can you...? 407 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,880 LOUD DRILLING 408 00:19:56,280 --> 00:19:57,880 Oh, sorry! 409 00:19:58,880 --> 00:20:00,400 Mine keeps coming up... Black. 410 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,800 It's black every time. It's black every time, Sandi! Why is it?! 411 00:20:03,800 --> 00:20:06,240 So you cannot do it. Fundamentally, you cannot do it. 412 00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:09,080 If it starts red, it will end up black. 413 00:20:09,080 --> 00:20:10,520 Whoa, it's so weird! 414 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:18,840 and it lands the opposite side each time. 415 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:21,560 Does anybody know why? Because of the smell. 416 00:20:21,560 --> 00:20:24,200 It's like toast and butter, cos it's heavier on one side. 417 00:20:24,200 --> 00:20:26,560 No, so you'd think it was something to do with air resistance 418 00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:28,360 or gravity or the weight of the thing. 419 00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:31,480 There's an American theoretical physicist called Richard Feynman, 420 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,960 and he was asked if anybody could explain this in a simple way, 421 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,160 and he thought about it for a bit and he went, "No." 422 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,560 It is called... 423 00:20:39,560 --> 00:20:41,920 And I'm going to pronounce it wrong, cos it's a Russian name. 424 00:20:41,920 --> 00:20:44,360 It's called, near enough, the "Johnny Bake-Off" effect. 425 00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:45,840 He was a Soviet cosmonaut, 426 00:20:45,840 --> 00:20:49,880 and he was up in the Salyut 7 space station in 1985. 427 00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:54,240 He spun a wing nut in order to remove it from a threaded bolt, 428 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:56,880 it spun right off the bolt, it continued to spin 429 00:20:56,880 --> 00:20:59,480 after it had come loose, and it suddenly flipped over 430 00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,640 and started spinning in the opposite direction, 431 00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,880 and then it flipped back to the original orientation, 432 00:21:03,880 --> 00:21:05,880 and kept flipping from one to another. 433 00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:08,360 This had never been seen before. Let's have a look at a video. 434 00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:10,120 It is the most bizarre thing. 435 00:21:10,120 --> 00:21:12,560 So there it is. Look at it. Wow! 436 00:21:12,560 --> 00:21:14,880 It's in the air in the... It's simply spinning. 437 00:21:14,880 --> 00:21:16,520 And then it starts to spin the other way 438 00:21:16,520 --> 00:21:19,320 and then it spins the other, and it spins the other way like that. 439 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:22,480 Now... But is it paired with a wing nut in another galaxy? 440 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,760 This would work with a tennis racket as well. 441 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:27,400 It's to do with it having an axis here, 442 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:28,840 and an axis here, and an axis here. 443 00:21:28,840 --> 00:21:30,400 And this one is the one that we sort of 444 00:21:30,400 --> 00:21:32,120 don't think is going to come into play. 445 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:34,200 But it's weird, isn't it? Yes. It is weird. 446 00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:36,720 So let's put the tennis rackets away. 447 00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,320 OK, here are two squirrels. There they are. 448 00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:42,480 Which of these is the most recent? 449 00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,760 It's the grey, isn't it? Uh, oh. 450 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:47,800 KLAXON BLARES 451 00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:47,800 Oh! 452 00:21:47,800 --> 00:21:49,080 Zoe, what were you thinking? 453 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:50,560 See, I knew that was going to happen. 454 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:53,640 That's why I didn't say anything, Zoe. QI trap, right there. 455 00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:55,880 So it is absolutely true that the red squirrel is native 456 00:21:55,880 --> 00:21:58,600 to Britain, whereas the grey one is North American. 457 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:02,120 However, the native reds were regarded as an absolute pest 458 00:22:02,120 --> 00:22:03,960 and they were hunted pretty much to extinction 459 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,840 in the 18th and the 19th centuries. 460 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,840 So, in order to restore the population, 461 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:16,120 ..and Central Europe, and we now know, from DNA studies, that's where 462 00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:18,680 most of the reds that we have have actually come from. 463 00:22:18,680 --> 00:22:21,560 so the reds are, in fact, the modern interlopers 464 00:22:21,560 --> 00:22:23,120 and not the native species. 465 00:22:23,120 --> 00:22:25,960 The greys, I'm afraid, outlast the reds by quite a long chalk - 466 00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:27,640 they're better at problem-solving, 467 00:22:27,640 --> 00:22:30,640 the greys also carry a terrible pox virus 468 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,600 which the reds have no immunity to 469 00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:34,480 and the reds get really stressed. 470 00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:36,440 He looks stressed, though, doesn't he? 471 00:22:36,440 --> 00:22:37,800 He does look stressed. 472 00:22:37,800 --> 00:22:40,360 He's like, "Hey, Brian, how you doing? 473 00:22:40,360 --> 00:22:42,640 "Things aren't going well at work. 474 00:22:42,640 --> 00:22:44,400 "I've mislaid a couple of nuts. 475 00:22:44,400 --> 00:22:46,440 "I don't know what's going on. 476 00:22:46,440 --> 00:22:48,880 "I think my tail is thinning." 477 00:22:50,080 --> 00:22:52,280 The result is that we now have about 2.5 million greys 478 00:22:56,320 --> 00:22:58,680 I think they're mostly, actually, in Scotland and in the north. 479 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,320 In the islands, so... In big blue ruffs! Yeah. 480 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:06,680 So there's some on Arran, for example, that you see, 481 00:23:06,680 --> 00:23:08,160 but mostly on the islands, 482 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:11,840 cos in Glasgow, for example, it's just grey squirrels. 483 00:23:11,840 --> 00:23:13,440 There's a lot of people eat them now. 484 00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:15,120 I was going to say, can you eat them? 485 00:23:15,120 --> 00:23:17,720 There is a restaurant in London - I can't remember which one it is - 486 00:23:17,720 --> 00:23:18,920 they do a lot of game 487 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:21,200 and very occasionally they'll have squirrel on the menu. 488 00:23:21,200 --> 00:23:23,400 There's nothing to stop you eating a squirrel at all. 489 00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:26,160 This kind of thing of eating locusts and bugs and things like that, 490 00:23:26,160 --> 00:23:28,320 about finding alternative sources of protein... 491 00:23:28,320 --> 00:23:30,080 I've tried locust. That is not pleasant. 492 00:23:30,080 --> 00:23:31,440 I had a locust bhaji, 493 00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:33,560 and it was one of the worst things I've had in my life. 494 00:23:33,560 --> 00:23:35,880 What's a "badgie" ? Well, it's like an onion pakora thing, 495 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,160 so it's an Indian dish. Oh, did you mean bhar-ji? 496 00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:39,680 A "badgie". Oh, I... 497 00:23:39,680 --> 00:23:40,720 Sorry... 498 00:23:43,120 --> 00:23:47,240 I honestly...honestly thought you said "budgie". 499 00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,480 When she said "badgie", I was thinking like a badger, 500 00:23:51,480 --> 00:23:53,840 but you wouldn't call a badger a "bar-ger", would you? No. 501 00:23:53,840 --> 00:23:56,840 RP ACCENT: I ran over a "bar-ger" the other day. 502 00:23:56,840 --> 00:23:58,280 It was delicious. 503 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:00,520 Because... You need to remember the BBC is funded, 504 00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:02,640 you hear all sorts of voices on the BBC, 505 00:24:07,200 --> 00:24:09,200 RP accent: "I had a locust bhar-ji." 506 00:24:09,200 --> 00:24:11,400 Is that better? I just misunderstood, forgive me. 507 00:24:11,400 --> 00:24:12,720 Was that more understandable? 508 00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:15,640 Forgive me, it's my mistake - not yours. "I had a locust bhar-ji..." 509 00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:17,360 I'll do the whole show like this now. 510 00:24:17,360 --> 00:24:19,040 He hasn't understood a word I've said. 511 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:20,880 "I had a locust bhar-ji the other day and..." 512 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:22,920 The thing is, darling, you don't need to do that, 513 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,400 because when we put this show out, we'll use subtitles... 514 00:24:25,400 --> 00:24:27,400 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 515 00:24:34,120 --> 00:24:36,360 You are such bastards! 516 00:24:41,520 --> 00:24:45,240 No, we're "bar-stards", we're "bar-stards". 517 00:24:47,760 --> 00:24:53,840 So this is the Ruff and Reddy show, but what's red and roughy? 518 00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,080 It's mine. 519 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:04,640 Can I tell you something in an incomprehensible accent? 520 00:25:04,640 --> 00:25:06,680 Well, why ask now? 521 00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:11,600 When I did Strictly Come Dancing, the one thing that I had to do, 522 00:25:11,600 --> 00:25:13,640 and I wasn't told to do it, but someone said to me, 523 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:15,320 "You know they film it in 4K?" 524 00:25:15,320 --> 00:25:18,280 And I was like, "All right..." "And you wear a leotard." 525 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,360 And I thought, "Got it." 526 00:25:20,360 --> 00:25:23,600 What they were saying was, "Please do something." 527 00:25:25,120 --> 00:25:27,920 Because the first time I got to the fitting I was wearing shorts, 528 00:25:27,920 --> 00:25:31,080 and so I had to go for the very first time, at the age of 43, 529 00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:34,040 for a bikini wax, and it was the most terrifying thing 530 00:25:34,040 --> 00:25:36,560 that's ever happened in my entire life, it really was. 531 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:41,120 It was exposing and strange, and afterwards, I was so cold! 532 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:47,200 To be fair, Susan, if somebody suggested you have a wax 533 00:25:47,200 --> 00:25:49,600 if you're wearing shorts... Yeah... 534 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:55,280 "These are going to get shorter, babe, and I think..." 535 00:25:56,720 --> 00:26:00,640 "Unless we are transporting tarantulas, I think..." 536 00:26:02,120 --> 00:26:03,600 Isn't it one of those things that 537 00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:06,320 when you've been married for 17 years, 538 00:26:06,320 --> 00:26:07,680 and you just kind of stop caring 539 00:26:07,680 --> 00:26:09,880 cos neither of you is going to find anyone else, 540 00:26:09,880 --> 00:26:11,960 so you just kind of let it all kind of join up. 541 00:26:13,120 --> 00:26:15,160 Well, it's also knowing what's in vogue 542 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,680 if you haven't been on the "market" for a while, isn't it? 543 00:26:17,680 --> 00:26:20,960 Cos, you know, I've been with my partner for 20-plus years, 544 00:26:20,960 --> 00:26:24,160 and back then, it was plaits and beads. 545 00:26:26,440 --> 00:26:28,680 A sort of Willie Nelson, if you will. 546 00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:33,440 So did you...? I mean... OK. 547 00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,680 Did you go...? What's the thing - Bermudan? What's the thing? 548 00:26:38,680 --> 00:26:39,760 Bermudan! 549 00:26:39,760 --> 00:26:41,200 Bermudan? 550 00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,840 A Bermuda Triangle where everything disappears. 551 00:26:44,840 --> 00:26:47,120 There's a ship disappeared up there! 552 00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,920 Pilots walking out. 553 00:26:54,440 --> 00:26:55,480 "What year is it?" 554 00:26:57,120 --> 00:26:58,160 1942? 555 00:26:58,160 --> 00:26:59,560 The things I've seen! 556 00:26:59,560 --> 00:27:03,280 What's it called? Brazilian! Brazilian! 557 00:27:03,280 --> 00:27:05,800 Not Bermudan Triangle - Brazilian! 558 00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:08,360 So, the Hollywood's nothing, the Brazilian's the strip, 559 00:27:08,360 --> 00:27:10,120 and there's something where you just go, 560 00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:11,400 "Just make me a bit, like..." 561 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:12,640 The Macclesfield. 562 00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:16,320 Deal with that! 563 00:27:18,200 --> 00:27:19,240 Moving on... 564 00:27:19,240 --> 00:27:21,400 Enough! Enough! 565 00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:24,160 The question was, what's red and roughy? 566 00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:33,400 It is... No, but we are heading in more of the right direction. 567 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:36,640 We're heading in to the animal kingdom. 568 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,520 A red animal. Why are we looking at this picture, then? 569 00:27:41,040 --> 00:27:43,520 Well, it was meant to spark conversation, and weirdly it did. 570 00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,080 I know about a red panda. 571 00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:51,440 OK, no. So we're... It's fish, right? 572 00:27:51,440 --> 00:27:53,120 Don't know why... It's fish. Um... 573 00:27:55,080 --> 00:27:56,720 Red snapper. Red snapper. Red snapper. 574 00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:58,240 No, it's called the orange roughy. 575 00:27:58,240 --> 00:28:00,560 Oh! Oh... Oh, so it's not red, then? 576 00:28:00,560 --> 00:28:02,400 Well, it is actually red. It's weirdly... 577 00:28:02,400 --> 00:28:04,240 These questions are shit! 578 00:28:08,200 --> 00:28:10,640 What's red and roughy? Nothing at all, it turns out! 579 00:28:10,640 --> 00:28:12,040 A smooth, orange fish! 580 00:28:12,040 --> 00:28:14,040 The orange roughy is the answer. 581 00:28:14,040 --> 00:28:16,720 How about if the question had been, "Tell us about your pubes"? 582 00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,480 "You've got to do 15 minutes on your pubic hair. Go!" Go! 583 00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:25,800 This fish caught on in American restaurants after 1979, 584 00:28:25,800 --> 00:28:28,920 when they changed its name to orange roughy. 585 00:28:28,920 --> 00:28:31,200 Do you have any idea why they might have changed its name? 586 00:28:31,200 --> 00:28:33,840 Cos all the other fish were also called Dave. 587 00:28:33,840 --> 00:28:37,040 No. Its original name was slimehead. Well... 588 00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:38,840 Oh, yeah... Yeah. 589 00:28:38,840 --> 00:28:41,440 It's about 30 inches long, it's a member of the perch family. 590 00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:44,200 30 inches?! Yeah. How big is 30 inches? 591 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:47,800 2.5ft. Yeah. Big! Wow! It's a very big fish. 592 00:28:47,800 --> 00:28:50,120 And they are extremely long-lived... 593 00:28:50,120 --> 00:28:52,600 I mean, assuming that they don't get eaten. 594 00:28:52,600 --> 00:28:56,480 The average lifespan is more than 120 years. 595 00:28:56,480 --> 00:28:57,880 No way! No way! 596 00:28:57,880 --> 00:29:00,800 There were two caught recently near Tasmania 597 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:03,760 and one off New Zealand - turned out to be, we think, 598 00:29:03,760 --> 00:29:07,320 about 250 years old, meaning they were born in the late 1700s, 599 00:29:07,320 --> 00:29:10,920 so at the same time as the first Europeans arrived in the area, 600 00:29:10,920 --> 00:29:12,160 is the age of these fish. 601 00:29:12,160 --> 00:29:14,480 How do they age a fish, Sandi? What do you do? 602 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:16,640 You cut through it and you count the rings. 603 00:29:16,640 --> 00:29:19,720 Yes. You're very nearly right. 604 00:29:19,720 --> 00:29:23,280 So fish have something called an otolith, so we all have otoliths. 605 00:29:23,280 --> 00:29:26,080 We have one in our ear system which enables us 606 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,080 to basically stay balanced. 607 00:29:32,720 --> 00:29:35,160 So we can tell how old the fish is 608 00:29:38,400 --> 00:29:40,240 It's a bit like tree rings you can count. 609 00:29:40,240 --> 00:29:43,160 That is amazing. It's amazing. Well, this is the really sad thing, 610 00:29:43,160 --> 00:29:45,120 because if you eat an orange roughy in a restaurant, 611 00:29:45,120 --> 00:29:47,040 there is a likelihood that your lunch 612 00:29:47,040 --> 00:29:48,600 is older than your grandparents. 613 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:52,520 Well, you should eat the older thing first. Yeah. 614 00:29:52,520 --> 00:29:56,840 If you've got two pots of hummus, you'll eat the one that's... Yeah. 615 00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:59,600 So then you eat the fish, and then you eat your grandmother. 616 00:30:01,600 --> 00:30:04,400 Can you date every fish? All fish can be aged. 617 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:06,680 All fish can be aged by their...? By their otolith. 618 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,680 That's amazing! I know. It's so extraordinary, isn't it? Yeah. 619 00:30:09,680 --> 00:30:11,200 It doesn't work the same in humans. 620 00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,600 Our otolith stops growing after about a week. 621 00:30:13,600 --> 00:30:16,080 And then, in fact, it deteriorates as we get older 622 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,520 and it's why old people sometimes have balance problems, 623 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:20,360 is because their otolith is deteriorating. 624 00:30:20,360 --> 00:30:22,680 Zoe, that's why you fell over. That's it. 625 00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,120 I'm like an old slimehead. 626 00:30:26,920 --> 00:30:29,600 The other fish that kind of goes in and out of fashion is the mullet. 627 00:30:29,600 --> 00:30:30,640 Like the hairstyle. 628 00:30:32,200 --> 00:30:33,720 It looks so surprised, doesn't it? 629 00:30:33,720 --> 00:30:34,760 What - the mullet? Yeah. 630 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:37,960 It looks like it's previously gone into something very hard and flat... 631 00:30:52,680 --> 00:30:54,160 and the reason that they liked it - 632 00:30:54,160 --> 00:30:56,520 the fish changes colour when it dies, 633 00:30:56,520 --> 00:30:58,840 so if you bring a mullet to the table alive 634 00:30:58,840 --> 00:31:00,360 and watch it suffocate, it... 635 00:31:00,360 --> 00:31:01,440 AUDIENCE GROANS 636 00:31:01,440 --> 00:31:03,440 This is extraordinary. I'll have that grilled. 637 00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:05,880 Actually, I've changed my mind. 638 00:31:05,880 --> 00:31:08,320 I'll have the tofu. But there's extraordinary stories. 639 00:31:08,320 --> 00:31:10,520 Martial has a story about somebody who sold a slave 640 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:11,720 for 1,200 sesterces 641 00:31:11,720 --> 00:31:13,920 and spent the proceeds on a 4lb mullet. Wow. 642 00:31:13,920 --> 00:31:15,640 Yeah. I know. 643 00:31:15,640 --> 00:31:17,440 But the mullet haircut actually comes from 644 00:31:17,440 --> 00:31:18,560 a Beastie Boys song. 645 00:31:18,560 --> 00:31:21,560 Oh, really? Mullet Head, the New York hip-hop group. 646 00:31:21,560 --> 00:31:23,800 Say that again, sorry, Sandi. 647 00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:25,760 The New York... BOTH: Hip-hop group. 648 00:31:27,080 --> 00:31:28,880 Does hip-hop not sound right out of my mouth? 649 00:31:28,880 --> 00:31:30,760 No, it's fine - I just couldn't understand it 650 00:31:30,760 --> 00:31:31,800 cos of your accent! 651 00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:42,080 Anyway, one final red fish - the red-lipped bat fish. 652 00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:49,240 It walks on those pectoral fins rather than swims - 653 00:31:49,240 --> 00:31:51,200 and this is the bit that made me so happy - 654 00:31:51,200 --> 00:31:54,280 there is honestly nothing on the internet that you can't get. 655 00:31:54,280 --> 00:31:56,120 You can get a cuddly toy. Aw! 656 00:31:56,120 --> 00:31:57,400 Oh, wow. 657 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:03,640 let's make it into a cuddly toy. 658 00:32:03,640 --> 00:32:05,920 Yeah, it looks like it could talk at any minute. 659 00:32:05,920 --> 00:32:07,680 "Hello!" Cheap children's television. 660 00:32:07,680 --> 00:32:09,520 "Hello, children!" 661 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:13,600 It looks like he's had his lips done. 662 00:32:18,320 --> 00:32:19,440 Or a wax. It's about to say, 663 00:32:19,440 --> 00:32:21,360 "Give us a tab, will you? I'm gasping for a tab." 664 00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:25,720 Do you want that for one of the children? Yeah. 665 00:32:25,720 --> 00:32:27,080 They'd love that. OK. 666 00:32:27,080 --> 00:32:29,480 Do you have children, Alan, or is that just a random...? No. 667 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:34,200 How do I know when you are "reddy" for sex? 668 00:32:34,200 --> 00:32:35,880 When I'm finished at the buffet! 669 00:32:38,600 --> 00:32:41,080 Is it, you hear the Antiques Road Show music? 670 00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:48,360 Anybody know what being raddled...? Raddled is? 671 00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:50,600 Now, I sheared a sheep recently... 672 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:53,760 Oh! Oh, Susan! Why? 673 00:32:53,760 --> 00:32:55,280 It was Sunday, I was... 674 00:32:55,280 --> 00:32:57,800 If you can do that, why can't you sort out your pubes? 675 00:32:57,800 --> 00:32:58,840 Yeah. 676 00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:00,080 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 677 00:33:06,320 --> 00:33:08,600 I was... Sorry. Extra point for Alan. 678 00:33:10,560 --> 00:33:13,840 I was hand shearing a sheep on Skye... 679 00:33:13,840 --> 00:33:16,240 On the island of Skye or the television channel? 680 00:33:16,240 --> 00:33:17,680 On the Isle of Skye. Not Sky! 681 00:33:19,200 --> 00:33:22,760 I've got my own series on Sky just shearing sheep. 682 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:28,480 And it's something to do with sheep, isn't it? 683 00:33:28,480 --> 00:33:32,840 Yes, it is. It's ewe, as in E-W-E, rather than "you". Oh! Oh, OK. 684 00:33:32,840 --> 00:33:35,160 So it's to do with something called reddle. 685 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:37,360 It's a pigment which was originally made from ochre, 686 00:33:37,360 --> 00:33:38,840 so it has a sort of reddish tint, 687 00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:40,840 and it's been used for centuries by shepherds to tell 688 00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:44,280 whether or not the sheep have...been mated. There's the way to put it. 689 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,200 Right. So what they would do... Oh, yes! 690 00:33:46,200 --> 00:33:49,640 ..they would smear this stuff, this ochre, this reddle, onto the chest 691 00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:53,480 of a ram and then release him into the flock of ewes to have his fun. 692 00:33:53,480 --> 00:33:55,920 And as he worked his way around... Oh, no... 693 00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:57,840 ..you could see, if you look at... 694 00:33:57,840 --> 00:33:59,360 She's got it on her nose! 695 00:34:04,120 --> 00:34:07,080 I mean, that's not criticism... 696 00:34:07,080 --> 00:34:10,840 Well, there are three of them. I mean, there's not... Yeah. 697 00:34:15,440 --> 00:34:17,640 So, nowadays the technique has been refined. 698 00:34:20,960 --> 00:34:23,360 and then green on the second week and red in the third. 699 00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:26,120 You can tell which ewe... She's got blue and yellow! 700 00:34:26,120 --> 00:34:27,800 Yeah. And red. She's been very busy. 701 00:34:27,800 --> 00:34:30,320 But it helps you work out when the lambing is going to happen. 702 00:34:30,320 --> 00:34:31,440 There's even a harness now - 703 00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:34,680 where they put a sort of crayon or something - they put on them. 704 00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:35,720 There it is. 705 00:34:35,720 --> 00:34:38,200 It very much reminds me of a trip I once had to Berlin. 706 00:34:41,920 --> 00:34:43,760 Look at those genitals. 707 00:34:43,760 --> 00:34:44,800 Thank you! 708 00:34:46,640 --> 00:34:48,280 Look at the size of them. 709 00:34:48,280 --> 00:34:49,960 That is... What am I looking at? 710 00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:52,320 The genitals. Whoa! 711 00:34:52,320 --> 00:34:55,040 Surely that's a pair of baby's feet in socks. 712 00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:58,360 What's happened there is a baby has gone up the back of the sheep. 713 00:34:58,360 --> 00:34:59,800 Oh, yes. I think it's that. 714 00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:01,440 Its feet are hanging out. 715 00:35:01,440 --> 00:35:04,080 I don't know if any of you can remember one of my favourite books - 716 00:35:04,080 --> 00:35:05,920 Return Of The Native, Thomas Hardy. 717 00:35:05,920 --> 00:35:07,600 There's a character in it - Diggory Venn - 718 00:35:07,600 --> 00:35:09,880 he's a reddleman. That's not him - that's Thomas Hardy. 719 00:35:09,880 --> 00:35:12,560 So, he's a dealer in reddle, and he's got his skin stained all over, 720 00:35:12,560 --> 00:35:15,120 and it was a sort of semi-magical figure, like some sort of devil. 721 00:35:15,120 --> 00:35:16,880 And the word raddled - 722 00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:18,200 to mean old - 723 00:35:18,200 --> 00:35:19,640 comes from the same red dye, 724 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:21,600 so it's - you've used too much rouge make-up 725 00:35:21,600 --> 00:35:22,960 or you've got a red countenance 726 00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,160 because you've had a lifetime of overindulgence. 727 00:35:25,160 --> 00:35:28,160 It's exactly the same as, um... 728 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:30,560 As shagging sheep. I don't know what else to say about that. 729 00:35:35,480 --> 00:35:36,520 OK. 730 00:35:36,520 --> 00:35:37,560 Just, eh... 731 00:35:48,680 --> 00:35:51,680 We're not going to be able to keep this a secret, are we? 732 00:35:52,960 --> 00:35:55,080 That's what you brought that boy on for! 733 00:35:58,160 --> 00:35:59,200 Yes, I did. 734 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:06,120 No expense spent. 735 00:36:07,360 --> 00:36:08,440 Here is my question - 736 00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:13,440 who has an unhealthy obsession with redundant technology? 737 00:36:13,440 --> 00:36:15,480 A luddite. A luddite of some kind. 738 00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:16,960 Redundant technology? 739 00:36:16,960 --> 00:36:20,240 What kind of technology might that have been if it had not been a man? 740 00:36:20,240 --> 00:36:21,480 It looked like a fax machine. 741 00:36:21,480 --> 00:36:22,960 Fax machine, yes. 742 00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:29,440 Well, it's certainly true that it cannot be hacked, 743 00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:31,840 so it is used in... People who want to be off the grid, man. 744 00:36:31,840 --> 00:36:34,680 It is the NHS. They are still the world's largest purchaser 745 00:36:34,680 --> 00:36:36,160 of fax machines, 746 00:36:36,160 --> 00:36:39,240 although they have been ordered to be phased out in 2020, 747 00:36:39,240 --> 00:36:40,400 so it remains to be seen... 748 00:36:40,400 --> 00:36:41,640 Who are they sending faxes to? 749 00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:44,520 I would imagine... Each other? Each other, I would imagine. That's it. 750 00:36:44,520 --> 00:36:47,360 Didn't football transfers used to have to be done by fax? 751 00:36:47,360 --> 00:36:49,640 Yes, the fax had to get through 752 00:36:49,640 --> 00:36:52,200 to headquarters of the FA by the deadline. 753 00:36:52,200 --> 00:36:54,800 Yeah, but they've got some online platform now, presumably? 754 00:36:54,800 --> 00:36:57,200 Text - we've signed him for 80 million. 755 00:36:57,200 --> 00:36:58,520 Ping! Ping! 756 00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:00,360 Still huge in Japan, faxes, 757 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:02,480 and pagers were very big in Japan. 758 00:37:02,480 --> 00:37:05,040 They closed their final pager service in 2019, 759 00:37:05,040 --> 00:37:07,120 and a Tokyo funeral company 760 00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:08,760 set up a memorial 761 00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,960 so people could lay flowers and pay their respects to the... Aw. 762 00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:13,360 To the end of technology. Wow. 763 00:37:13,360 --> 00:37:16,040 I know. But with the pager also still going strong 764 00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:17,880 in the NHS, still, yay we still... 765 00:37:17,880 --> 00:37:19,880 Yeah, doctors get paged, don't they? 766 00:37:19,880 --> 00:37:22,080 Yeah, 10% of the world's pagers are in the NHS. 767 00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:23,480 80% of hospitals still use them. 768 00:37:23,480 --> 00:37:26,040 Apparently the reason is that reception is very reliable. 769 00:37:26,040 --> 00:37:28,240 Other things that have gone redundant - cheque books. 770 00:37:28,240 --> 00:37:29,480 Certainly the use of them 771 00:37:29,480 --> 00:37:32,520 gone down by about 75% in the last... Public telephone boxes. 772 00:37:32,520 --> 00:37:33,680 I would say landlines. 773 00:37:33,680 --> 00:37:35,480 Landlines, cassette tapes, 774 00:37:38,880 --> 00:37:40,880 What do short people stand on to kiss? 775 00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:42,280 I know! 776 00:37:42,280 --> 00:37:43,440 Each other. Each other. 777 00:37:50,080 --> 00:37:53,080 And there's one branch of Blockbuster Video still open. 778 00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:54,400 Where? In Oregon. 779 00:37:54,400 --> 00:37:56,240 It's a long way to go. Wow. 780 00:37:56,240 --> 00:37:59,400 And I reckon we are probably the last generation to stand at a till. 781 00:37:59,400 --> 00:38:00,800 I reckon that will go. You'll just 782 00:38:00,800 --> 00:38:03,520 go into the shop, you'll take your things and they'll know somehow. 783 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:04,840 Yeah. I don't like that, 784 00:38:04,840 --> 00:38:07,120 cos I like someone's job to be 785 00:38:07,120 --> 00:38:09,680 to count it up and ask me for my money, 786 00:38:09,680 --> 00:38:11,120 and then I give them my money 787 00:38:11,120 --> 00:38:13,760 and it's all very clear that I have paid for things. 788 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:14,800 You pay in cash? 789 00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:17,480 Yes, I do. 790 00:38:17,480 --> 00:38:20,840 I think this is a really important and fundamental issue. 791 00:38:20,840 --> 00:38:23,840 Not everybody wants to use technology in their lives. 792 00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:26,280 I like to have the interaction of speaking to someone. 793 00:38:26,280 --> 00:38:30,440 Sometimes that lady at Morrisons is the only person I speak to in 24 hours. 794 00:38:30,440 --> 00:38:33,280 I like to go and I say, "How are you doing?" "I'm doing fine." 795 00:38:33,280 --> 00:38:35,800 "Jammie Dodgers again?" "Yeah, it's a Thursday." 796 00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:37,960 And I like that. 797 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:39,760 Do you pop them in your bra? 798 00:38:43,840 --> 00:38:46,160 Does the lady at Morrisons do that? 799 00:38:46,160 --> 00:38:49,400 "Shall I just pop them in there, Susan? 800 00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:52,640 "Tins in there, Jammie Dodgers in your bra." 801 00:38:52,640 --> 00:38:54,200 Now get ready for rough weather. 802 00:38:54,200 --> 00:38:56,600 We're heading in to a perfect storm of General Ignorance. 803 00:38:56,600 --> 00:38:58,520 Fingers on buzzers, please. 804 00:38:58,520 --> 00:38:59,880 How can you tell the difference 805 00:38:59,880 --> 00:39:01,680 between a raspberry and a blackberry? 806 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:03,280 LOUD DRILLING 807 00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:03,280 Yes, Zoe? 808 00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:04,440 Uh, flavour! 809 00:39:09,480 --> 00:39:11,680 Do you know what? Can I just say, we discussed this, 810 00:39:11,680 --> 00:39:13,600 a lot of highly intelligent graduates, 811 00:39:23,720 --> 00:39:26,640 We went for something really clever, but... 812 00:39:26,640 --> 00:39:28,960 It's flavour, isn't it? They taste different. 813 00:39:28,960 --> 00:39:31,320 They are different, look at them! 814 00:39:33,800 --> 00:39:35,480 Has one got a hole in the middle, 815 00:39:35,480 --> 00:39:37,280 so you can place it on the end of your finger? 816 00:39:37,280 --> 00:39:38,560 That is the correct answer. 817 00:39:38,560 --> 00:39:40,360 But, you can't do it by looking at them, 818 00:39:40,360 --> 00:39:42,720 because you can get a black raspberry - that is a thing. 819 00:39:42,720 --> 00:39:44,560 Oh! So you can't tell by looking at them, 820 00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:46,320 but you're right about the hole in them. 821 00:39:46,320 --> 00:39:48,280 So, when you pick a raspberry, the middle, 822 00:39:48,280 --> 00:39:49,720 the stem, or the torus, pulls out. 823 00:39:49,720 --> 00:39:53,080 But when you have a blackberry, it does not. But it's the flavour! 824 00:39:53,080 --> 00:39:55,640 Yes! Surely, it's the flavour! 825 00:39:55,640 --> 00:39:57,600 All right, nobody mentioned flavour! 826 00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:02,440 Oh, I feel so foolish. Um... 827 00:40:03,920 --> 00:40:05,920 So here's the thing with raspberries. 828 00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,240 If a raspberry bush needs to disperse its seeds 829 00:40:08,240 --> 00:40:11,800 by encouraging animals to eat them, why does it have prickles? 830 00:40:11,800 --> 00:40:15,280 Surely you would want the animals to come and eat and disperse. 831 00:40:15,280 --> 00:40:17,480 DRILL 832 00:40:17,480 --> 00:40:20,480 It wants a particular sort of animal who isn't put off by a prickle. 833 00:40:20,480 --> 00:40:22,040 Correct. Wow. 834 00:40:28,440 --> 00:40:30,840 You are nailing the raspberry-blackberry. 835 00:40:36,920 --> 00:40:40,320 round them and they are the ones that will take the seeds long distances. 836 00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,680 That is what the bush wants. 837 00:40:42,680 --> 00:40:46,080 If you get a bear, a large mammal or something, they digest the seeds 838 00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:48,560 and then dump what is left in a single pile of manure 839 00:40:48,560 --> 00:40:50,360 and they don't disperse the seeds. 840 00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:54,080 Or they make them into jam and sell them. 841 00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:57,600 Very well done, Zoe, you scored highly on that particular 842 00:40:57,600 --> 00:41:00,360 soft fruits section. I like a berry. 843 00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:03,720 What about a currant? 844 00:41:03,720 --> 00:41:06,040 I'm not fond of currants, I've tried them... 845 00:41:06,040 --> 00:41:07,640 OK, moving on. 846 00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:11,480 Honestly, it's like being in an old people's home. 847 00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:14,600 A blackberry with no middle is simply a funny-coloured raspberry. 848 00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:18,600 When it comes to sauce, I know what I like and I like what I know. 849 00:41:18,600 --> 00:41:23,360 What is the key ingredient in Sandi's Good Old Fashioned Ketchup? 850 00:41:23,360 --> 00:41:24,680 Yes? 851 00:41:24,680 --> 00:41:26,600 Is it tomatoes, Sandi? 852 00:41:30,280 --> 00:41:33,600 So, ketchup, originally made with mushrooms and anchovies and oysters 853 00:41:33,600 --> 00:41:36,120 and nuts and other things but not tomatoes, not tomatoes at all 854 00:41:36,120 --> 00:41:37,480 until the 19th century. 855 00:41:37,480 --> 00:41:40,120 People were rather suspicious of tomatoes because they thought 856 00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:42,040 they were poisonous, so people didn't eat them. 857 00:41:42,040 --> 00:41:45,520 But there were a lot of tomatoes around... I love tomatoes. 858 00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:47,080 I love tomatoes. 859 00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:50,520 But, like, tomatoes from about 30 years ago 860 00:41:50,520 --> 00:41:52,520 when they tasted of tomato. 861 00:41:57,920 --> 00:42:00,760 Do you remember the old tomatoes, back in the day? 862 00:42:00,760 --> 00:42:03,240 Everything tasted better. It tasted better. 863 00:42:03,240 --> 00:42:06,960 It tasted like raspberries, funnily enough. 864 00:42:06,960 --> 00:42:09,320 But making actual tomato ketchup takes forever 865 00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:13,080 and so when Heinz launched their own version in 1876, 866 00:42:13,080 --> 00:42:15,720 it was marketed as a time-saver. 867 00:42:15,720 --> 00:42:19,720 "Blessed relief for Mother and the other women in the household." 868 00:42:19,720 --> 00:42:21,640 They no longer had to make ketchup. 869 00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:25,360 They put in a sort of thickening agent, it's called xanthan gum. 870 00:42:25,360 --> 00:42:28,440 And it makes ketchup into that gloopy stuff, what we call 871 00:42:28,440 --> 00:42:31,920 non-Newtonian liquid, so it's thick in the bottle 872 00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:34,480 and then it becomes briefly liquid when you pour it out. 873 00:42:34,480 --> 00:42:36,920 Anybody know where you should hit on the bottle when you...? 874 00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:47,280 Shake, shake, ketchup bottle, none will come and then a lot'll. 875 00:42:47,280 --> 00:42:49,600 LAUGHTER 876 00:42:49,600 --> 00:42:53,200 With all these healthy eating fads going on, 877 00:42:53,200 --> 00:42:56,800 it can feel like you're constantly playing "ketchup". 878 00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:58,520 GROANS 879 00:42:58,520 --> 00:43:01,120 We're losing them, people, start the car. 880 00:43:01,120 --> 00:43:03,280 Are you ready for the scores? 881 00:43:03,280 --> 00:43:05,920 Let's see. Oh, yeah. Can't wait. 882 00:43:05,920 --> 00:43:08,840 So, in fourth place... I mean, a long way down. 883 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:10,720 With -13, 884 00:43:10,720 --> 00:43:12,880 it's Susan! Yes! 885 00:43:12,880 --> 00:43:15,240 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 886 00:43:15,240 --> 00:43:17,120 Come on! 887 00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,160 In third place, with -5, Tom! 888 00:43:19,160 --> 00:43:21,400 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 889 00:43:21,400 --> 00:43:23,720 Thank you, thank you. 890 00:43:23,720 --> 00:43:26,280 In second place, with 5 points - Alan. 891 00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:28,400 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 892 00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:31,360 And that means the winner, with a full 6 points, 893 00:43:41,360 --> 00:43:44,240 So, it's thanks to Tom, Susan, Zoe and Alan. 894 00:43:44,240 --> 00:43:48,600 And I leave you with a fact by American clown Red Skelton, 895 00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:50,520 that's roughly true. 896 00:43:50,520 --> 00:43:53,160 AS RED SKELTON: "Did you know that when van Gogh cut off his ear, 897 00:43:53,160 --> 00:43:54,720 "He actually went blind? 898 00:43:54,720 --> 00:43:58,240 "Because every time he put his hat on, it slipped down over his eyes." 899 00:43:58,240 --> 00:44:00,080 Thank you and goodnight.