1 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:24,840 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 2 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:38,560 Good evening and welcome to 3 00:00:38,560 --> 00:00:42,120 a truly revolutionary episode of QI. 4 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:46,160 Rising up in revolt this week we have four recalcitrant renegades. 5 00:00:46,160 --> 00:00:48,040 The radical Susan Calman. 6 00:00:48,040 --> 00:00:52,080 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 7 00:00:52,080 --> 00:00:54,320 The rebellious Jessica Fostekew. 8 00:00:54,320 --> 00:00:57,080 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 9 00:00:57,080 --> 00:00:59,920 The rabble-rousing Gyles Brandreth. 10 00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:02,720 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 11 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:05,840 And he's an absolute riot, it's Alan Davies. 12 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:08,320 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 13 00:01:11,080 --> 00:01:15,000 And their buzzers are really revolutionary. Susan goes... 14 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:19,080 # I predict a riot, I predict a riot... # 15 00:01:19,080 --> 00:01:20,840 Nice.Jessica goes... 16 00:01:20,840 --> 00:01:24,440 # The children of the revolution... # 17 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:27,200 Tune!You like that? That's a banger.I think that's rather fine. 18 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:29,520 Gyles, a bit of a head-banger, maybe. 19 00:01:29,520 --> 00:01:32,280 # Anarchy for the UK 20 00:01:32,280 --> 00:01:36,360 # It's coming some time and maybe... # 21 00:01:36,360 --> 00:01:40,680 I recognise this, it's one of my favourites. It's the Sex Pistols. 22 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:43,880 Yes. And once in the 1980s, I met...Oh, dear God. 23 00:01:43,880 --> 00:01:45,840 LAUGHTER 24 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:48,800 It's true, I met Johnny Rotten... Did you? 25 00:01:48,800 --> 00:01:51,240 ..at the Midland Hotel in Manchester. I went up to him 26 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:54,480 and I said, "Oh, Mr Rotten, I'm so delighted to meet you." 27 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:57,080 And he said to me, "Fuck off." 28 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:00,360 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 29 00:02:05,960 --> 00:02:08,400 There's literally nothing I could say to you, 30 00:02:08,400 --> 00:02:09,840 you wouldn't have an anecdote... 31 00:02:09,840 --> 00:02:11,560 LAUGHTER 32 00:02:11,560 --> 00:02:13,400 Alan goes... 33 00:02:13,400 --> 00:02:16,840 # You spin me right round, baby, right round 34 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:21,120 # Like a record, baby, right round, round, round... # 35 00:02:21,120 --> 00:02:27,160 Here's question one. Stop me when you know what these names are for. 36 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:28,560 OK. 37 00:02:28,560 --> 00:02:30,400 Patriotic Shortener. 38 00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:32,480 Silence Mill. 39 00:02:32,480 --> 00:02:35,400 # The revolution... # Yes, Jess. 40 00:02:35,400 --> 00:02:40,880 Silence Mill's the nickname I gave to my worst ever Edinburgh show. 41 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,760 It's like tumbleweed, isn't it? 42 00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:46,600 We punks will remember a band called Silence Mill. 43 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:49,680 OK. Charlie's Seesaw, that could be a racehorse. 44 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:51,280 I like the Necktie of Capet. 45 00:02:51,280 --> 00:02:53,840 They all sound like ailments or afflictions. 46 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:56,880 OK, I'm going to help you that we have translated all of these. 47 00:02:56,880 --> 00:02:58,800 They were originally in French. 48 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:02,000 And there was a sound effect that went with each one of them. 49 00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,040 METAL BLADE THUDS DOWN 50 00:03:04,040 --> 00:03:06,000 Guillotine. Guillotine.Guillotine. 51 00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:09,080 # I predict a riot, I predict a riot... # 52 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:12,560 I don't want to not get the point on a matter of admin. 53 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:15,000 LAUGHTER 54 00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:17,480 So, in French, they were absolutely fantastic. 55 00:03:17,480 --> 00:03:21,000 The Patriotic Shortener was Raccourcissement Patriotique. 56 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,120 Silence Mill - Moulin a Silence. 57 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,680 And the Regretful Climb - Monte-a-regret. 58 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:29,000 All nicknames for the guillotine used in the French Revolution. 59 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:32,080 Yes? You met the man who invented...? 60 00:03:32,080 --> 00:03:36,520 LAUGHTER AND SCATTERED APPLAUSE 61 00:03:36,520 --> 00:03:39,640 "I remember it well. I was in Paris." I... 62 00:03:39,640 --> 00:03:41,160 "He told me to fuck off." 63 00:03:41,160 --> 00:03:43,080 LAUGHTER 64 00:03:44,600 --> 00:03:47,880 I do have a personal interest in the subject, as it happens. 65 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:52,720 Oh, why's that, darling? But before I get to that...Yes. 66 00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:56,000 ..let me tell you what little I know about the guillotine. 67 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:58,000 The guillotine. Le guillotine.Yes. 68 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:00,200 Do we get bonus points for this information 69 00:04:00,200 --> 00:04:01,760 or am I just wasting time? 70 00:04:01,760 --> 00:04:03,920 LAUGHTER 71 00:04:03,920 --> 00:04:05,880 My recollection is...Yes. 72 00:04:05,880 --> 00:04:09,600 We're going back a bit, it's the French Revolution! 73 00:04:09,600 --> 00:04:12,360 The French Revolution. ..that, when I was at university, 74 00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,880 one of my subjects was the French Revolution.Oh, right. 75 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:19,840 As I remember, the guillotine was named after a man called Guillotine. 76 00:04:19,840 --> 00:04:25,360 And he wanted a nicer way of killing the enemies of the revolution. 77 00:04:25,360 --> 00:04:28,480 Right. And so he was actually meaning it in a kind way.Mm, yeah. 78 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:32,520 So I think that's who Guillotine was.Yeah. But I know it went on 79 00:04:32,520 --> 00:04:36,320 for years and years and years because in 1977, I went to Paris 80 00:04:36,320 --> 00:04:38,760 for the last use of the guillotine. 81 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:40,480 And this is your personal interest? 82 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:44,960 I was a campaigner against capital punishment.Ah. 83 00:04:44,960 --> 00:04:48,120 I went with a group - because we couldn't believe it - to protest... 84 00:04:48,120 --> 00:04:49,880 Right. ..this was still going on... 85 00:04:49,880 --> 00:04:52,840 I know. Did you have T-shirts that said "Quit while you're a head"? 86 00:04:52,840 --> 00:04:56,040 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 87 00:05:03,320 --> 00:05:06,000 I was at university in the 1960s, 88 00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:08,280 so this is a long time ago, but in 1968, 89 00:05:08,280 --> 00:05:11,920 obviously I was in Paris trying to foment, in my pre-punk period... 90 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:15,400 Yes. ..the revolution in France at the time. When I was at university, 91 00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:18,720 I was simply trying to get laid, I'll be very honest with you. 92 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:22,200 I wore lots of corduroy and tried to look intelligent. 93 00:05:22,200 --> 00:05:25,320 Sadly, the ruse did not work. 94 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,480 Corduroy - that'll do it for you! 95 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:30,080 I had one of those sweaters with leather patches on the elbows, 96 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:32,760 and a little pipe. I thought it looked good. Anyway... 97 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:35,240 It was named after Dr Guillotine and, in fact, 98 00:05:35,240 --> 00:05:37,280 his family hated this association with the name 99 00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:39,880 and they constantly petitioned the French government saying, 100 00:05:39,880 --> 00:05:42,520 "Please call it something else. Please call it something else." 101 00:05:42,520 --> 00:05:45,360 And in the end, they changed their name cos they got so fed up with it. 102 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:47,400 Perhaps it was Gillette.Yes. 103 00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:49,880 LAUGHTER 104 00:05:49,880 --> 00:05:52,480 There is a rumour that he was killed by his own apparatus. 105 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:55,160 It is not true. In fact, he died from an infection 106 00:05:55,160 --> 00:05:57,520 on a carbuncle on his shoulder. 107 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,200 Ugh!I know. 108 00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,600 What's a carbuncle? 109 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,320 It's not pleasant, don't get one. 110 00:06:02,320 --> 00:06:05,360 A nice carbuncle at the end of the night, that can warm you up. 111 00:06:06,880 --> 00:06:10,160 That's possibly the most tragic thing you've ever said. 112 00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:13,240 "Do you want a lift home? We could have a carbuncle?" "Oh, yeah!" 113 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:15,240 "I hear you're trying to get laid!" 114 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,520 LAUGHTER 115 00:06:17,520 --> 00:06:20,200 So the person who did the very first guillotining, 116 00:06:20,200 --> 00:06:22,160 he was Louis XVI's executioner, 117 00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:24,920 a man by the name of Charles-Henri Sanson. 118 00:06:24,920 --> 00:06:28,360 He was the fourth out of six generations of executioner. 119 00:06:28,360 --> 00:06:30,600 He executed nearly 3,000 people. 120 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:33,400 He was a celebrity because he was France's executioner. 121 00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:35,320 And his uniform that he used to wear, 122 00:06:35,320 --> 00:06:38,480 which was striped trousers and fancy hat and an overcoat, 123 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:40,840 became a very fashionable look for men. 124 00:06:40,840 --> 00:06:44,080 What do you think women might have worn to celebrate? 125 00:06:44,080 --> 00:06:47,160 Corduroy. 126 00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:50,200 Women wore guillotine-shaped earrings. Wow. 127 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:51,760 And what's sort of unpleasant 128 00:06:51,760 --> 00:06:54,680 is that's the King and Queen's head below... 129 00:06:54,680 --> 00:06:57,760 Oh.Weird, right? 130 00:06:57,760 --> 00:07:01,560 I think I might quite like them. Yeah.No! 131 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,040 They'd do well at Topshop. Yeah. 132 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,320 LAUGHTER 133 00:07:06,320 --> 00:07:09,400 Anyway, he was supposed to pass on the job to his eldest son, Gabriel. 134 00:07:09,400 --> 00:07:11,040 Gabriel died, unfortunately, 135 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:13,520 while he was helping his father with an execution. 136 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,160 He slipped on some blood and fell off the scaffold. 137 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,000 Oh! They didn't feature any of this 138 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,200 in Carry On Up The French Revolution. 139 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:25,800 Wonderful film with Kenneth Williams as Le Grand Fromage.Yes. 140 00:07:25,800 --> 00:07:28,520 Oh, I want to watch that again now. You never see them any more. 141 00:07:28,520 --> 00:07:30,640 Used to be on all the time. They're on ITV2. 142 00:07:30,640 --> 00:07:32,800 If you if you watch television in the afternoon, 143 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,680 if you've got no job - "self-employed..." 144 00:07:34,680 --> 00:07:36,320 Sorry, if you're self-employed... 145 00:07:36,320 --> 00:07:38,800 They do some wonderful programmes. Do they? 146 00:07:38,800 --> 00:07:42,080 I do the voiceover for one of the commercials. 147 00:07:42,080 --> 00:07:45,480 Oh, well, it's worth watching just for that, Gyles. It is. 148 00:07:45,480 --> 00:07:47,360 It's actually... I love doing it. 149 00:07:47,360 --> 00:07:51,760 I'm the voice now of the Tena Flex Plus super soft incontinence pad. 150 00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:54,360 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 151 00:07:57,520 --> 00:07:59,320 Someone's got to do it, Gyles. 152 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:03,000 It tells us something about the ITV2 audience, I think.Yes. 153 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,160 The joy is you can watch all the Carry On films right through 154 00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:09,000 the afternoon and evening without needing to leave the sofa. 155 00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:11,080 LAUGHTER 156 00:08:11,080 --> 00:08:12,760 So the executioner, 157 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:15,320 because his son had died falling off the scaffold, 158 00:08:15,320 --> 00:08:16,960 he passed the job to his second son, 159 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:18,920 who was called Henry-Clement, 160 00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:20,520 he disgraced the family, I'm afraid. 161 00:08:20,520 --> 00:08:22,400 He had an aversion to blood, 162 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,120 and then he had serious gambling debts, 163 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:26,360 and he eventually pawned off the guillotine 164 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:27,640 to pay off his debts. 165 00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:29,360 He turned up at the next execution 166 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,120 with an axe, pretty much. 167 00:08:32,640 --> 00:08:34,720 Saying, "Will this do?" So they fired him, 168 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:37,240 and the Ministry of Justice had to buy the guillotine back 169 00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:39,640 from... I know... 170 00:08:39,640 --> 00:08:43,840 Who is the woman associated with the French Revolution? 171 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:47,200 Madame Tussaud, because she took facial masks, didn't she? 172 00:08:47,200 --> 00:08:49,240 Death masks...Yeah. ..of the people. 173 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,480 It's an extraordinary story cos she was the art teacher 174 00:08:51,480 --> 00:08:55,760 and indeed a waxworks modeller for the sister of Louis XVI, 175 00:08:55,760 --> 00:08:58,840 and so she was seen to be a royalist and her head was actually shaved 176 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:01,680 in preparation for execution. And she was saved by 177 00:09:01,680 --> 00:09:04,280 a leading revolutionary who had been friendly with her before. 178 00:09:04,280 --> 00:09:06,680 And she was made to do the people's likenesses. 179 00:09:06,680 --> 00:09:09,360 And then she was asked to come to Britain to show them 180 00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:11,520 and was going to go back to France, but had to stay 181 00:09:11,520 --> 00:09:14,000 because the Napoleonic Wars started and she wasn't able to return. 182 00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,800 Who are these two? This is the King and Queen. 183 00:09:15,800 --> 00:09:17,880 Those are actually the King and Queen of France? 184 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:19,560 It's Marie Antoinette and the King. 185 00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:21,840 The waxworks of them. The waxworks of them. 186 00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:23,400 I used to work in Madame Tussauds. 187 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:24,720 Oh, this is marvellous! 188 00:09:24,720 --> 00:09:28,880 Somebody who can out-anecdote Gyles. I like this! 189 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:30,440 I worked as a zombie. 190 00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:33,840 Cos my acting career got off to a really quick start! 191 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:36,440 And you had to learn how to put on all different latex and stuff 192 00:09:36,440 --> 00:09:38,960 and make your make-up really awful, to be jumping out at people 193 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:40,600 in this scary maze. 194 00:09:40,600 --> 00:09:42,800 But you learnt to wax, which was to stand... 195 00:09:42,800 --> 00:09:44,400 Where tourists were walking past you 196 00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,640 and you'd stay completely still and then just 197 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:49,680 move a bit and people would cack themselves. 198 00:09:49,680 --> 00:09:51,560 And I got told after my second stint there 199 00:09:51,560 --> 00:09:53,680 that I was the scariest woman they'd ever had! 200 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:55,440 LAUGHTER 201 00:09:57,680 --> 00:09:59,280 Now, Gyles, I thought when you said 202 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:01,080 you have personal experience of this, 203 00:10:01,080 --> 00:10:03,920 that you were going to mention a family connection. I am. 204 00:10:03,920 --> 00:10:07,360 This - seriously - is how I became really interested in this subject 205 00:10:07,360 --> 00:10:09,640 of the guillotine and executions, 206 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:11,680 because my forebear, 207 00:10:11,680 --> 00:10:14,680 Jeremiah Brandreth, was a revolutionary 208 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:19,240 and the last person to be beheaded in this country for treason. 209 00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:22,160 I think we have a picture, actually, of Jeremiah. 210 00:10:22,160 --> 00:10:25,840 There he is.Part of the Pentrich martyrs. 1817. 211 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:28,240 He was a revolutionary. He'd began as a Luddite. 212 00:10:28,240 --> 00:10:30,280 He realised that the Industrial Revolution 213 00:10:30,280 --> 00:10:32,360 was going to make people lose their jobs. 214 00:10:32,360 --> 00:10:34,720 He was determined to overthrow the government of the day. 215 00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:39,160 And...anyway, he led this revolution up in Derbyshire. 216 00:10:39,160 --> 00:10:42,600 He was known as the Nottingham Captain and was arrested, 217 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:47,480 put on trial and was not just hanged but he was then beheaded, 218 00:10:47,480 --> 00:10:50,320 because he was a traitor.Because they wanted to show the head. 219 00:10:50,320 --> 00:10:52,920 I mean, I think he was already dead by the time he was beheaded. 220 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:55,880 Now, we were trying to see the family likeness in this. 221 00:10:55,880 --> 00:10:59,000 So we've done a little bit of Photoshopping just to see 222 00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:01,480 how that would look. So there you are. 223 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:03,200 LAUGHTER 224 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,320 Uncanny.Uncanny. I do think, darling, 225 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:09,200 if you were ever beheaded, just as they lifted the head up, 226 00:11:09,200 --> 00:11:11,520 you'd be going, "I've got one more story." 227 00:11:11,520 --> 00:11:13,920 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 228 00:11:18,800 --> 00:11:22,600 "You know, the head can live on for another 15 sec..." 229 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:24,280 LAUGHTER 230 00:11:26,920 --> 00:11:28,320 All good revolutions 231 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:29,920 start with a bit of rioting 232 00:11:29,920 --> 00:11:32,680 but how can you cause a riot with a clown hat, 233 00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:33,920 some vodka, 234 00:11:33,920 --> 00:11:36,040 and a lump of cheese? 235 00:11:36,040 --> 00:11:38,880 Is it to take them as a gift 236 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,720 at the marriage of your ex? 237 00:11:40,720 --> 00:11:43,040 LAUGHTER 238 00:11:43,040 --> 00:11:45,200 Is it a circus riot? 239 00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,600 Well, they're three separate riots, in fact. 240 00:11:47,600 --> 00:11:49,640 The one with the clown hat - so it was 1850s, 241 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:51,360 you're talking about a very tough town. 242 00:11:51,360 --> 00:11:52,560 It must be a Russian circus. 243 00:11:52,560 --> 00:11:55,440 Er, no, it's Toronto. Oh, really?! 244 00:11:55,440 --> 00:11:58,240 So when Toronto started - we are talking about the 1850s, 245 00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:00,600 there was a population of 30,000 people, not very many. 246 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:02,640 There were 152 taverns. 247 00:12:02,640 --> 00:12:04,720 There were 203 beer halls. 248 00:12:04,720 --> 00:12:07,760 And there were, roughly, we don't really know, 140 brothels. 249 00:12:07,760 --> 00:12:10,440 So it was quite the place for gentlemen to misbehave. 250 00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:12,560 And in 1855, a riot began 251 00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:14,880 after a fireman, a drunk fireman, 252 00:12:14,880 --> 00:12:17,040 knocked off a clown's hat 253 00:12:17,040 --> 00:12:18,720 in one of the city's brothels. 254 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,320 And when he refused to pick it up... 255 00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:21,960 A couple of trapeze artists 256 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:23,640 swung in... 257 00:12:23,640 --> 00:12:25,280 Well, it started a complete riot 258 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:28,280 and it went on for days - clowns fighting firemen. 259 00:12:28,280 --> 00:12:30,960 Circus tents were torn down. 260 00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,720 The firemen have got hoses, 261 00:12:32,720 --> 00:12:34,760 and the clowns have just got a bucket of... 262 00:12:34,760 --> 00:12:36,880 LAUGHTER 263 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:40,160 I know, but they kept getting in a car, and there was loads of them! 264 00:12:40,160 --> 00:12:43,280 The wagons were set on fire of the circus 265 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:44,960 by the firemen. 266 00:12:44,960 --> 00:12:47,200 I mean, it was one of the most extraordinary things. 267 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:48,800 By the time it was all finished, 268 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:51,360 the whole of the Toronto police system had to be overhauled. 269 00:12:51,360 --> 00:12:54,080 And they established what they basically, the one that 270 00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,560 they have now. But it was days of fighting between clowns 271 00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,560 and firemen. Wow. 272 00:12:58,560 --> 00:13:01,000 I know, it's fantastic. So what about the cheese? 273 00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,160 Oh, it's not the same event? No, they're different events. 274 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:06,040 I thought it was maybe a vodka and cheese evening at the brothel. 275 00:13:06,040 --> 00:13:07,720 Yes, I did. 276 00:13:07,720 --> 00:13:10,560 It's rather a niche brothel, isn't it? 277 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:14,280 "Come in, vodka, cheese! Bring the clowns in." 278 00:13:14,280 --> 00:13:16,800 They do the cheese rolling, does that ever get out of hand? 279 00:13:16,800 --> 00:13:19,560 Well, it did. There's been lots of food riots. Oh, of course 280 00:13:19,560 --> 00:13:22,320 there have. So this would be to do with the price of cheese? 281 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:23,440 Yes. The price of vodka? 282 00:13:23,440 --> 00:13:25,640 Well, if you think about the French Revolution, 283 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,200 that was instigated by the women in the market over 284 00:13:28,200 --> 00:13:31,240 the price of bread. This is the Great Nottingham Cheese Riot. 285 00:13:31,240 --> 00:13:33,480 It's just a great name, isn't it? 286 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,160 The Great Nottingham Cheese Riot of 1766 - 287 00:13:36,160 --> 00:13:38,560 they felt overcharged for cheese, 288 00:13:38,560 --> 00:13:41,640 they seized the cheese, and you're quite right, Gyles... 289 00:13:41,640 --> 00:13:43,080 They seized the cheese? 290 00:13:43,080 --> 00:13:46,120 Seized the cheese. Seize the cheese! 291 00:13:46,120 --> 00:13:48,080 Seize the cheese! 292 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:49,480 He seized the cheese! 293 00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:52,480 Seize him! 294 00:13:53,480 --> 00:13:55,440 And they rolled them down the street cos of course 295 00:13:55,440 --> 00:13:56,640 they were big cheese wheels. 296 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:59,080 They used to come in enormous things like this. 297 00:13:59,080 --> 00:14:02,120 And the mayor tried to quell the violence and was knocked out 298 00:14:02,120 --> 00:14:03,840 by a particularly large cheese! 299 00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:07,880 And severely concussed. 300 00:14:07,880 --> 00:14:10,400 So it was the Great Nottingham Cheese Riot. 301 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:12,920 The vodka - so this started 302 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:14,680 really as a vodka boycott. 303 00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:16,400 In 1858, the Russians 304 00:14:16,400 --> 00:14:18,680 did a tax... RUSSIAN ACCENT: Vodka! 305 00:14:18,680 --> 00:14:21,760 ..and it tripled the price. So it went up to ten roubles a bucket, 306 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:23,360 that's how they used to buy it! 307 00:14:23,360 --> 00:14:25,160 Way-hey! 308 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:28,320 The average clerk made 25 roubles a year. Oh! 309 00:14:28,320 --> 00:14:29,920 So they were not able to buy this. 310 00:14:29,920 --> 00:14:31,280 And the vodka tax was the 311 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,000 main source of revenue and people 312 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,360 just decided - "I can't afford it, so I'm not going to do it." 313 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:38,280 And so temperance societies started all over the country. 314 00:14:38,280 --> 00:14:40,360 And people took oaths of sobriety. 315 00:14:40,360 --> 00:14:42,480 And this was a nightmare for the government 316 00:14:42,480 --> 00:14:44,600 because they needed the money from the tax. 317 00:14:44,600 --> 00:14:47,520 Vodka started being given away free, to try and persuade people 318 00:14:47,520 --> 00:14:49,520 to be a little bit more alcoholic, 319 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:52,000 so that eventually they would start paying for it. 320 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,200 Rebels, who didn't want the vodka tax, 321 00:14:54,200 --> 00:14:56,120 were made to drink vodka forcibly, 322 00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:58,960 with a funnel - it was put down their throat. It was extraordinary. 323 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:02,120 Eventually, the revolt was crushed and the government banned 324 00:15:02,120 --> 00:15:05,800 temperance societies. It was forbidden to want to be sober. 325 00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:09,720 That's triggered me, actually. Has it? 326 00:15:09,720 --> 00:15:12,040 Cos as a teenager, I once snorted vodka. 327 00:15:12,040 --> 00:15:13,560 How does one do that? 328 00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:16,480 With a straw. Up your nostril? Up your nose.Up your nose?! 329 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:18,240 And then you cry it out of your eyes. 330 00:15:18,240 --> 00:15:20,560 I grew up in the West Country, so we didn't have much to do. 331 00:15:20,560 --> 00:15:22,280 LAUGHTER 332 00:15:22,280 --> 00:15:24,160 Sounds like you had plenty to do! 333 00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,200 LAUGHTER 334 00:15:26,200 --> 00:15:29,880 Now, what would you have to do if someone read you the Riot Act? 335 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:33,080 Hmm.Hmm? Hmm. It's an actual thing. 336 00:15:33,080 --> 00:15:35,280 They would go to the scene and read the Riot Act. 337 00:15:35,280 --> 00:15:36,800 They literally read it out. 338 00:15:36,800 --> 00:15:39,600 Technically, you had an hour to disperse once it had been read out. 339 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,960 So it was introduced in 1715. To clear crowds. 340 00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:45,560 To clear the crowds out. These are the actual words of the Riot Act. 341 00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:48,920 And it meant that if more than 12 people gathered and were disruptive, 342 00:15:48,920 --> 00:15:51,200 a policeman was entitled to read them the Riot Act 343 00:15:51,200 --> 00:15:54,520 and it had to be read with the exact correct wording and after that 344 00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,200 they had a full hour... "You've got an hour now to stop rioting," 345 00:15:57,200 --> 00:15:59,480 which I quite like. It's very British. 346 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,840 "I'm giving you notice and then you'll be on the naughty step." 347 00:16:01,840 --> 00:16:03,200 We don't have it any more. 348 00:16:03,200 --> 00:16:06,040 It was repealed by the Criminal Law Act of 1967. 349 00:16:06,040 --> 00:16:09,000 In fact, the last attempted reading of the Riot Act was in... 350 00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:11,560 Have a guess, anybody. Which city in this country? 351 00:16:11,560 --> 00:16:14,520 Manchester.Glasgow. Oh! 352 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:17,040 1919. But the policeman couldn't get through it 353 00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:19,520 before somebody took the page from his hand. 354 00:16:19,520 --> 00:16:21,600 LAUGHTER 355 00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:24,200 ATTEMPTED SCOTTISH ACCENTS: Get tae fuck!Fuck off! 356 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,640 Sorry, Sandi - everyone just stop - 357 00:16:26,640 --> 00:16:29,480 was that a Scottish accent you just did? 358 00:16:29,480 --> 00:16:32,640 No, it was an Irishman visiting. To be fair... 359 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:36,320 ..I respect the law as much as the next person.Yes. 360 00:16:36,320 --> 00:16:39,560 If I had decided I was going to make the positive action of rioting, 361 00:16:39,560 --> 00:16:41,800 and someone stood in front of me and said, 362 00:16:41,800 --> 00:16:44,160 "Here's a piece of paper about why you can't riot," 363 00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:47,200 you would just go, "I'm taking that piece of paper. I'm a rioter."Yeah. 364 00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:50,120 And I don't think that's particularly Glas... You... 365 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:53,600 If I may, Alan! If I may, Alan! 366 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:55,040 Order in the court! 367 00:16:55,040 --> 00:16:58,080 If they don't disperse, they don't just go, "Oh, they haven't."Yeah. 368 00:16:58,080 --> 00:17:00,040 They'd shoot you. What I was going to say... 369 00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:01,920 He's right, you could use lethal force. 370 00:17:01,920 --> 00:17:05,080 ..sometimes, occasionally, when you said... And I knew you were going to 371 00:17:05,080 --> 00:17:07,680 say Glasgow cos you looked at me with that look, Sandra... 372 00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,920 You look at me sometimes and go... "Sandra." Ooh! 373 00:17:09,920 --> 00:17:11,960 .."There's a Scottish thing coming up." 374 00:17:11,960 --> 00:17:15,760 Just because it was Glasgow does not mean that they were violent... 375 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:18,480 No, I didn't say that. ..in removing the paper.I never said that. 376 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,000 He simply, politely went, 377 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,760 "I'll take that from you, young sir," I imagine... 378 00:17:22,760 --> 00:17:24,520 LAUGHTER 379 00:17:24,520 --> 00:17:27,200 Or said, "Excuse me, officer. Can I take that?" 380 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:30,720 "I'll take that. Would you like a mint?" Exactly. 381 00:17:30,720 --> 00:17:33,320 So I don't want there to be any suggestion 382 00:17:33,320 --> 00:17:35,720 that the Glaswegians were aggressive. 383 00:17:35,720 --> 00:17:38,000 But if you just... Excuse me! 384 00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,960 LAUGHTER 385 00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:42,360 Nowadays, you don't have to read anything out at all. 386 00:17:42,360 --> 00:17:45,240 If 12 people or more are present and they cause any kind of violence... 387 00:17:45,240 --> 00:17:48,680 It's quite challenging for middle-class people to start riots, 388 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:50,200 as I've discovered. 389 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:54,120 Well, you've got to wait in for your White Company order, I mean... 390 00:17:54,120 --> 00:17:56,840 LAUGHTER 391 00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:58,680 There's an awful lot to do. 392 00:17:58,680 --> 00:18:03,040 In Paris, when I was trying to take part in the 1968 riots, 393 00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:04,800 we didn't know what to do. 394 00:18:04,800 --> 00:18:07,080 We didn't, because we were nice university people, 395 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:08,840 we'd gone over to help with the rioting. 396 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:12,440 And they were instructing in French! 397 00:18:12,440 --> 00:18:14,480 Well, I was studying the French Revolution, 398 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:16,360 so my French was reasonably OK. 399 00:18:16,360 --> 00:18:18,600 And they advised us what we were to do. 400 00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,360 And it was to knock the policeman's hat off. 401 00:18:21,360 --> 00:18:24,840 And apparently knocking hats off goes back hundreds of years 402 00:18:24,840 --> 00:18:26,400 as the way riots are started, 403 00:18:26,400 --> 00:18:28,000 as in the case with your clown. 404 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,760 Knocking their... 405 00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:31,520 The famous, in the 1920s, was there... 406 00:18:31,520 --> 00:18:33,720 The Straw Hat Riots. The Straw Hat Riots. Was that in 407 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,160 New York, Philadelphia?New York. 408 00:18:35,160 --> 00:18:37,320 In America. Because it was a fashion thing. 409 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:38,640 Yeah. Autumn has come, 410 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:40,240 you've got to wear a felt hat.Yeah. 411 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:42,440 People were still wearing their straw hats. 412 00:18:42,440 --> 00:18:45,080 "Knock it off!" So policemen's helmets off, clowns' hats off, 413 00:18:45,080 --> 00:18:47,400 straw hats off.Mm. 414 00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:50,720 I think, to be fair, if I had gone to the effort of wearing 415 00:18:50,720 --> 00:18:53,280 one of my hats - of which I have many, 416 00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:56,680 cos I believe a lady with a hat is a very astonishing figure... 417 00:18:56,680 --> 00:18:58,080 Is it made of corduroy? 418 00:18:59,880 --> 00:19:01,320 The list of impediments to you 419 00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:02,840 getting shagged goes on and on. 420 00:19:02,840 --> 00:19:05,040 LAUGHTER 421 00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:10,880 It's not good, is it? I suit a hat and sometimes you think, 422 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:14,200 "It's a hat day. I feel like wearing a hat, a cowboy hat, a top hat, 423 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:17,120 "a bowler hat." And you're walking down the street, you're thinking, 424 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:19,400 "People are laughing at me but I don't care. 425 00:19:19,400 --> 00:19:22,120 "In myself I have the confidence. I've worked on myself a lot. 426 00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,400 "This is how a feel. I feel confident. I'm a powerful woman. 427 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:26,800 "I'm Clare Balding..." 428 00:19:26,800 --> 00:19:29,160 LAUGHTER 429 00:19:29,160 --> 00:19:31,520 People are going, "How is that cowboy hat moving by itself?" 430 00:19:31,520 --> 00:19:33,200 LAUGHTER 431 00:19:36,160 --> 00:19:38,160 "How's it getting down the street?! 432 00:19:38,160 --> 00:19:40,640 "There must be a dog under there, a tiny dog." 433 00:19:40,640 --> 00:19:42,720 LAUGHTER 434 00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,320 "That dog's never going to get shagged wearing that." 435 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:51,160 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 436 00:19:55,240 --> 00:19:59,640 We're moving on. We are moving on. Here's another kind of revolution - 437 00:19:59,640 --> 00:20:02,120 why doesn't your house have revolving doors? 438 00:20:02,120 --> 00:20:03,520 # Anarchy... # 439 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:07,440 Yes, my darling Gyles. My house does have a revolving door. 440 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:09,320 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 441 00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,320 It always has. It's a family house. It's a tradition.Yes. 442 00:20:13,320 --> 00:20:17,760 Because one of my forebears invented the revolving door. 443 00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:20,000 LAUGHTER 444 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,680 I happen to know who invented the revolving door. Theophilus... 445 00:20:23,680 --> 00:20:26,360 Yes. ..Van Kannel. Who married 446 00:20:26,360 --> 00:20:30,040 the daughter of my great-great-great-grandfather, 447 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:34,400 a man called Dr Benjamin Brandreth, who invented Brandreth pills, 448 00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,720 was a pioneer of medicine and advertising... 449 00:20:37,720 --> 00:20:41,320 It's not so much a family tree as a family fucking forest. 450 00:20:41,320 --> 00:20:43,920 LAUGHTER 451 00:20:48,960 --> 00:20:51,600 You're related to Theophilus Van Kannel...?! 452 00:20:51,600 --> 00:20:53,160 Course he is! 453 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:57,080 Dr Brandreth had 13 children, including 10 daughters.Yeah. 454 00:20:57,080 --> 00:21:00,240 And he was hugely wealthy and he married them off very well. 455 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,400 He also was a friend of PT Barnum, who was a friend of this man 456 00:21:03,400 --> 00:21:07,080 who invented the revolving door. So at home, the point is, we love it, 457 00:21:07,080 --> 00:21:10,680 it's been so useful recently. You know, when we want to self-isolate, 458 00:21:10,680 --> 00:21:13,840 we can have three of the family actually in the door... 459 00:21:13,840 --> 00:21:16,280 LAUGHTER 460 00:21:17,960 --> 00:21:20,200 Is the reason we don't have them in our homes 461 00:21:20,200 --> 00:21:22,200 because of too many terrible pet deaths? 462 00:21:22,200 --> 00:21:24,640 No, it's just the house isn't big enough 463 00:21:24,640 --> 00:21:26,640 and we don't get that many visitors! 464 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:28,360 LAUGHTER 465 00:21:28,360 --> 00:21:30,760 They're very good in a tall building because what they do 466 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:32,800 is they let much less air into the building 467 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:35,080 and it avoids what's called the chimney effect. 468 00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:38,320 So what happens is cold air can be sucked in at the bottom 469 00:21:38,320 --> 00:21:40,960 when a door opens and warm air rises up through the building 470 00:21:40,960 --> 00:21:43,240 and the use of a revolving door stops that. 471 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:45,000 It's also more energy efficient. 472 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,880 Weirdly, people tend to prefer to use a swing door when they can. 473 00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:49,320 They don't seem to like them. 474 00:21:49,320 --> 00:21:52,400 I like to use revolving doors and pretend to be Wonder Woman. 475 00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,360 Cos that's how she would change sometimes, 476 00:21:54,360 --> 00:21:57,240 and Superman did the same thing. And sometimes if you're feeling fancy 477 00:21:57,240 --> 00:21:59,920 when I'm in London where there's more revolving doors available, 478 00:21:59,920 --> 00:22:01,720 I'll just go in a building then come back out 479 00:22:01,720 --> 00:22:03,840 and pretend to be Wonder Woman. I'll just do that. 480 00:22:03,840 --> 00:22:06,760 Because I carry a suitcase with me all the time 481 00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:09,720 and I trip over the suitcase. That's the problem, cos... 482 00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:12,320 LAUGHTER 483 00:22:12,320 --> 00:22:14,200 ..I've got a suitcase that's bigger than me 484 00:22:14,200 --> 00:22:16,560 and it makes revolving doors quite difficult. 485 00:22:16,560 --> 00:22:18,360 But you just have to do it 486 00:22:18,360 --> 00:22:22,000 because then people look at you like you can't do a door. 487 00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:24,680 Why don't you get out of the suitcase... 488 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:27,000 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 489 00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:31,520 ..carry it through the door and then get back in?Much better. 490 00:22:33,320 --> 00:22:35,480 Or get two little leg holes cut. 491 00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,600 "How's that suitcase moving along the road by itself?" 492 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,880 LAUGHTER 493 00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:44,200 Anybody think of other advantages of revolving doors? 494 00:22:44,200 --> 00:22:46,840 You can go in and out at the same time?That's exactly right, yes. 495 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:48,800 Extra point for Alan. Ah!You can enter and exit 496 00:22:48,800 --> 00:22:51,320 at exactly the same time, so you can get more people in and out 497 00:22:51,320 --> 00:22:53,040 of the building. How can you get more people 498 00:22:53,040 --> 00:22:55,160 in a revolving door than just if you had one big door? 499 00:22:55,160 --> 00:22:57,680 It's faster cos people are coming and going out at the same time, 500 00:22:57,680 --> 00:22:59,600 and they haven't got to get in each other's way. 501 00:22:59,600 --> 00:23:01,960 And if you had a very large door, that's basically called 502 00:23:01,960 --> 00:23:03,840 an open space. 503 00:23:03,840 --> 00:23:06,000 LAUGHTER 504 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:11,360 That's your up and over, isn't it? Yeah. 505 00:23:11,360 --> 00:23:13,280 It's called a field.Yeah. 506 00:23:13,280 --> 00:23:15,800 It's not really a thing. I'm so sorry! 507 00:23:18,840 --> 00:23:23,640 Now, how can this stop your cherries from popping? 508 00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:25,600 LAUGHTER 509 00:23:25,600 --> 00:23:28,320 There we go. ALL: Whoa! 510 00:23:29,760 --> 00:23:32,400 Oh, that's amazing. Wicked! 511 00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:35,360 Oh. Ah. Yes. 512 00:23:35,360 --> 00:23:36,920 LAUGHTER 513 00:23:39,200 --> 00:23:42,520 It was going really well. Did I kill you? 514 00:23:42,520 --> 00:23:45,440 Anyway, so, how can this stop your cherries from popping? 515 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:47,280 A full-size one rather than that one? 516 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:48,800 Obviously, not that. 517 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:51,160 I like the idea of, like a 16-year-old who's asked 518 00:23:51,160 --> 00:23:53,800 to have a big house party for their birthday and their parents say, 519 00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:55,880 "Yeah, sure, no problem." But then they take all the 520 00:23:55,880 --> 00:23:59,280 curtains down and hire a helicopter and just circle the house! 521 00:23:59,280 --> 00:24:02,480 Checking that nobody loses their virginity all night. 522 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:04,520 Do cherries pop? 523 00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:06,360 Well, they do. Why might they? 524 00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:08,720 Is it something to do with the harvesting of cherries? 525 00:24:08,720 --> 00:24:11,640 Well, it is sort of to do with that. They absorb water incredibly 526 00:24:11,640 --> 00:24:15,320 quickly, so just one heavy bout of rainfall can cause them to split 527 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,120 and that renders the entire crop absolutely worthless. 528 00:24:18,120 --> 00:24:21,520 So they could spray them with edible wax, that's not so nice. 529 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:23,720 They could cover the whole crop in plastic. 530 00:24:23,720 --> 00:24:26,640 One of the ways to do it is to blow-dry the fruit 531 00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,360 with a helicopter. 532 00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:31,040 It's very expensive, but it is the fastest way to dry a crop 533 00:24:31,040 --> 00:24:33,600 of cherries after unexpected rainfall, 534 00:24:33,600 --> 00:24:36,280 and if every hour counts cos they are quite delicate, 535 00:24:36,280 --> 00:24:38,320 then the best thing to do is to hire a helicopter 536 00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:41,240 and use it as a great, big sort of fan. Wow.I know. 537 00:24:41,240 --> 00:24:42,840 Also hired in sporting events, 538 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:44,760 so they are used to dry cricket pitches, 539 00:24:44,760 --> 00:24:47,440 sometimes golf courses. Helicopters? Yeah. They are also used 540 00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:49,480 sometimes as fan heaters, helicopters. 541 00:24:49,480 --> 00:24:50,960 They fly over crops in cold weather 542 00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,640 and so they push warmer air down onto the crops. 543 00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:55,720 Anybody want to see a helicopter carrying a rhino? 544 00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:57,120 Yep. Yep. Love that. 545 00:24:57,120 --> 00:24:59,880 Who doesn't? OK. Yeah.Have a quick look, see what it looks like. 546 00:24:59,880 --> 00:25:01,840 Sounds good.There. Oh, God. Oh! 547 00:25:01,840 --> 00:25:03,880 I didn't know it was going to be upside down! 548 00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:07,440 So it's being taken away from a poaching area. 549 00:25:07,440 --> 00:25:09,800 This is in South Africa in 2017. 550 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:12,520 And they airlifted more than 200 rhinos like this. 551 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:14,280 And actually, it is the best thing. 552 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:15,680 If they had a net or rope 553 00:25:15,680 --> 00:25:18,040 around their torso, it would constrict their breathing. 554 00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:20,240 They're only in the air for about ten minutes. 555 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,680 They're fully sedated. Does them no harm. Apparently, 556 00:25:22,680 --> 00:25:25,080 the hardest part is putting them back down gently. Aw! 557 00:25:25,080 --> 00:25:27,200 Making sure they're OK. And they do this with 558 00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:31,440 lots of animals. In 2019, they removed more than 700 mountain goats 559 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:34,240 from a park in Washington state in a similar sort of way. 560 00:25:34,240 --> 00:25:36,360 They thrive, these goats, in this park - 561 00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:38,880 there they are going off. Apparently they thrived in the park 562 00:25:38,880 --> 00:25:42,200 because of human hikers because they really love human urine 563 00:25:42,200 --> 00:25:44,280 because it's salty, so they like it. Goats do? 564 00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:47,080 Goats do, yeah. They were carried to the Cascade mountains 565 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:48,360 in these special slings. 566 00:25:48,360 --> 00:25:51,000 And were they trying to take the goats away from the urine? 567 00:25:51,000 --> 00:25:53,120 They were damaging the local flora and fauna. 568 00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:55,200 Oh, because they really liked the urine?Mm. 569 00:25:55,200 --> 00:25:57,680 OK, I got you. I was just checking. Yeah. Right. 570 00:25:57,680 --> 00:26:00,240 I was concerned as to why they were moving the goats 571 00:26:00,240 --> 00:26:01,800 if they liked the urine.Yeah. 572 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:04,240 I think mainly people should stop pissing on the path. 573 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:05,720 LAUGHTER 574 00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:08,240 It's supposed to be good for you. Wasn't it Mahatma Gandhi 575 00:26:08,240 --> 00:26:10,200 who used to have a little pichet of urine, 576 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:12,320 of his own urine?Wasn't it the actress Sarah Miles 577 00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:14,160 used to advocate drinking your own urine? 578 00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,800 Often confused, those two. Yes, I know. 579 00:26:16,800 --> 00:26:18,800 LAUGHTER 580 00:26:18,800 --> 00:26:21,600 Do you know how old the word chopper is for a helicopter? 581 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:26,920 LAUGHTER 582 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:29,520 No, I'm just throwing in a little bit of, um, 583 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:31,800 the only information I know on helicopters. 584 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,360 Was it your uncle, Sergeant Chopper? 585 00:26:33,360 --> 00:26:34,720 LAUGHTER 586 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,320 Chopper Brandreth. Chopper Brandreth, as he was known. 587 00:26:39,320 --> 00:26:40,720 How did you guess? 588 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:43,880 Go on, then, darling. The Korean War. 589 00:26:43,880 --> 00:26:46,320 The helicopters in the Korean War made this noise, 590 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:49,080 like "Chop, chop, chop..." Oh, so, the '50s - 1951. 591 00:26:49,080 --> 00:26:50,320 So that's where it dates from. 592 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,240 Whereas, popping your cherry goes back to 1605. 593 00:26:54,640 --> 00:26:57,080 I think it's been going on for longer than that. 594 00:26:57,080 --> 00:26:59,520 LAUGHTER 595 00:26:59,520 --> 00:27:01,720 Now, for a more well-rounded question - 596 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:05,080 can you draw a perfect circle? So, let's have a go. 597 00:27:05,080 --> 00:27:07,680 You should have a board here, please. I'd like one of you 598 00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:10,000 to hold the board and one of you to draw the circle. 599 00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,400 You may choose. 600 00:27:11,400 --> 00:27:13,280 Would you like to draw? Certainly, madam. 601 00:27:13,280 --> 00:27:15,640 If you let me just... Draw a perfect circle, please. 602 00:27:15,640 --> 00:27:17,800 I think the trick is going to be the same as when you tell 603 00:27:17,800 --> 00:27:19,960 someone you're pregnant, and just do it really fast. 604 00:27:19,960 --> 00:27:21,600 LAUGHTER 605 00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:24,800 Brilliant! 606 00:27:24,800 --> 00:27:26,080 Excuse me! 607 00:27:26,080 --> 00:27:27,640 APPLAUSE 608 00:27:27,640 --> 00:27:30,200 That is a perfect circle. It's going to turn out 609 00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,760 that I'm a serial killer or something. I know. 610 00:27:32,760 --> 00:27:34,360 They're not bad at all. 611 00:27:37,600 --> 00:27:38,840 One of Gyles's ancestors! 612 00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:40,320 LAUGHTER 613 00:27:44,080 --> 00:27:46,120 Dear old Pumpkin Brandreth! 614 00:27:46,120 --> 00:27:47,880 LAUGHTER 615 00:27:49,680 --> 00:27:53,200 So there is a guy who is known as the world champion circle drawer. 616 00:27:53,200 --> 00:27:55,560 His name is Alex Overwijk. 617 00:27:55,560 --> 00:27:58,440 And he says the trick is to turn yourself into a human 618 00:27:58,440 --> 00:28:01,520 pair of compasses. So, you should pivot around a part of your body. 619 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:04,960 So perhaps you could use your elbow and turn like this, 620 00:28:04,960 --> 00:28:07,640 or perhaps you could use the heel of your hand. 621 00:28:07,640 --> 00:28:09,640 I would say that's cheating. If you say to me... 622 00:28:09,640 --> 00:28:12,000 But you're not using any mechanical device, you are simply 623 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:13,400 using your body. I still think... 624 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:16,040 JESSICA: You look like you are having an arm wrestle 625 00:28:16,040 --> 00:28:18,040 with your imaginary friend! 626 00:28:19,960 --> 00:28:22,240 SHE STRAINS 627 00:28:22,240 --> 00:28:25,000 So this guy - he is allegedly the world champion circle drawer. 628 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,320 He's a maths teacher and he was teaching a class 629 00:28:27,320 --> 00:28:29,240 and they did a video of him drawing a circle, 630 00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:32,280 and it sort of went viral. Did he draw his own head, originally? 631 00:28:32,280 --> 00:28:35,600 LAUGHTER 632 00:28:35,600 --> 00:28:38,120 Isambard Kingdom Brunel was rather famous for his ability 633 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:40,400 to draw perfect circles. Although, I have to say, 634 00:28:40,400 --> 00:28:43,120 some of the ones in his notebooks are singularly bad. 635 00:28:43,120 --> 00:28:46,280 Why might they be so wobbly, do you think? 636 00:28:46,280 --> 00:28:49,360 Was he on a piece of machinery when he was doing them?Yeah. 637 00:28:49,360 --> 00:28:51,840 He was on his locomotive. He was on a train, absolutely. 638 00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:53,640 Ah.They were drawn on moving trains. 639 00:28:53,640 --> 00:28:56,680 He was testing the smoothness of rival railway lines. Oh, wow. 640 00:28:56,680 --> 00:28:58,080 So he would draw a near-perfect... 641 00:28:58,080 --> 00:29:00,600 The attention to detail, what a man.I know, I love it. 642 00:29:00,600 --> 00:29:03,280 He does have some genuinely good circles in his notebooks. 643 00:29:03,280 --> 00:29:05,840 I have to say, though, if you look very, very closely, 644 00:29:05,840 --> 00:29:08,320 you can see a little dot in the middle. Yeah, cheat. 645 00:29:08,320 --> 00:29:11,520 Which suggests...? Compass. A compass. Oh. 646 00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:14,400 Now for a question about roulette. 647 00:29:14,400 --> 00:29:17,240 OK, I will give you ten points 648 00:29:17,240 --> 00:29:20,480 to gamble on the next roll of this wheel. 649 00:29:20,480 --> 00:29:23,120 I can tell you that these are all black. 650 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:26,400 These are the last ones that have come up, the last five. 651 00:29:26,400 --> 00:29:28,200 What would you bet on now? 652 00:29:28,200 --> 00:29:30,120 Would you bet on black or red? 653 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:32,520 I think it doesn't matter. That is correct. 654 00:29:32,520 --> 00:29:35,800 So why do you think that a lot of people would say red? 655 00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,440 There's some gambler's fallacy, some kind of gambler's myth. 656 00:29:39,440 --> 00:29:42,360 I grew up spending a lot of time standing outside Ladbrokes 657 00:29:42,360 --> 00:29:44,200 waiting for my dad on a Saturday morning. 658 00:29:44,200 --> 00:29:47,520 But there's a gambler's myth that if you've lost a certain number times, 659 00:29:47,520 --> 00:29:48,960 you must be due a win.Yeah. 660 00:29:48,960 --> 00:29:51,240 But, actually, whether it's black or red or whatever, 661 00:29:51,240 --> 00:29:54,520 what's gone before bears no relationship to the probability 662 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,240 of what's going to happen next. It's new every time, is it? 663 00:29:57,240 --> 00:30:01,080 The wheel doesn't remember what it did before. It's 50/50. 664 00:30:01,080 --> 00:30:03,920 It's going to be red or it's going to be black. Uh... 665 00:30:03,920 --> 00:30:09,040 What? Well? That then suggests, Sandi, 666 00:30:09,040 --> 00:30:11,240 I may as well not wear my lucky pants. 667 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:15,080 If I'm doing some... Oh! 668 00:30:15,080 --> 00:30:17,200 LAUGHTER 669 00:30:17,200 --> 00:30:19,440 No.JESSICA: Oh, Susan. 670 00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:21,960 No! Give up. No. 671 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:24,480 LAUGHTER 672 00:30:24,480 --> 00:30:27,520 Today, for example, Sandi, because I enjoy QI 673 00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:30,400 and I want to do well to impress you, I'm wearing my lucky pants. 674 00:30:30,400 --> 00:30:32,880 Right. If what you're saying is correct, 675 00:30:32,880 --> 00:30:35,920 about the fact nothing matters... Yeah. ..I may as well not bother 676 00:30:35,920 --> 00:30:39,120 wearing these pants that I've had for 20 years. 677 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:41,040 LAUGHTER 678 00:30:42,960 --> 00:30:45,440 I can't believe that the lucky pants fallacy 679 00:30:45,440 --> 00:30:48,280 has finally come clear to you. 680 00:30:48,280 --> 00:30:50,520 And I think corduroy against the skin... 681 00:30:50,520 --> 00:30:53,400 Yes, yes, you don't need pants, do you, Gyles? Not at all. 682 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:57,000 I'm afraid it is pretty much a 50/50 bet. 683 00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:59,360 Doesn't matter?No. I'm so sorry. 684 00:30:59,360 --> 00:31:03,560 Although it's not quite a 50/50 bet because there is also a 0, 685 00:31:03,560 --> 00:31:06,280 and that is how they actually make their money in the casinos. 686 00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:09,080 But you're absolutely right, darling, the gambler's fallacy. 687 00:31:09,080 --> 00:31:11,160 If the wheel has landed on black six times, 688 00:31:11,160 --> 00:31:12,640 85% of people will bet on red. 689 00:31:12,640 --> 00:31:14,520 I'm not allowed in casinos. 690 00:31:14,520 --> 00:31:16,920 Can I tell you why I'm not allowed in casinos? 691 00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:19,600 You can't see over the table? 692 00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:22,840 You keep falling into the roulette wheel. 693 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:26,680 "Aaaargh!" 694 00:31:26,680 --> 00:31:31,040 "How's that Stetson going round and round and round in that wheel?" 695 00:31:31,040 --> 00:31:34,000 I went on a spiritual journey 696 00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:35,360 to Tupelo, Mississippi, 697 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,280 to see where Elvis was born, because I briefly believed 698 00:31:38,280 --> 00:31:41,120 that when Elvis died, his soul entered my body, 699 00:31:41,120 --> 00:31:42,440 but that's a different... 700 00:31:42,440 --> 00:31:44,120 LAUGHTER 701 00:31:44,120 --> 00:31:45,800 That's a different part of my life. 702 00:31:45,800 --> 00:31:48,240 Anyway, so I... What's the point of sex, after that? 703 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:50,040 LAUGHTER 704 00:31:50,040 --> 00:31:51,800 This is like a day-release scheme. 705 00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:56,600 It was my first time in a casino, like, a proper casino. 706 00:31:56,600 --> 00:31:59,040 I had a credit card for the first time 707 00:31:59,040 --> 00:32:02,720 and I ran up £10,000... No! 708 00:32:02,720 --> 00:32:05,360 ..in six hours. 709 00:32:05,360 --> 00:32:07,720 No. I mean, I was I was very young and I was very stupid 710 00:32:07,720 --> 00:32:08,760 and I was quite drunk. 711 00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:11,520 And after that, I decided I liked it so much, 712 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:14,840 I would never go back into one again because I loved every single second. 713 00:32:14,840 --> 00:32:17,880 They gave me lobster, they gave me beer. It was amazing. 714 00:32:17,880 --> 00:32:19,360 And I just can't go back in to one 715 00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:22,240 because I loved it. You lost £10,000? Yeah. 716 00:32:22,240 --> 00:32:23,280 In one night. Yeah. 717 00:32:23,280 --> 00:32:25,120 I had the complete reverse experience, 718 00:32:25,120 --> 00:32:27,480 but again through ignorance. I was in Monte Carlo, 719 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:30,480 so I went in and I put £10 on number three and it came up. 720 00:32:30,480 --> 00:32:32,760 So that's 35 times the win, right. 721 00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:35,320 So, I didn't know you're supposed to take the money off the table, 722 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:36,920 so I just left the money there. 723 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,640 And they spun the wheel, and it came up again. 724 00:32:39,640 --> 00:32:41,080 ALL GASP 725 00:32:41,080 --> 00:32:43,360 And the croupier said, "Madam, you have no idea what you are doing. 726 00:32:43,360 --> 00:32:45,480 "Take your money and go home." So, I did. 727 00:32:45,480 --> 00:32:47,040 LAUGHTER 728 00:32:48,480 --> 00:32:49,840 Wow! That was a good thing to say. 729 00:32:49,840 --> 00:32:51,000 How much money did you win? 730 00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:52,360 It was an enormous amount of money. 731 00:32:52,360 --> 00:32:55,080 I took a helicopter back to the airport. 732 00:32:55,080 --> 00:32:56,840 I was young and foolish. Wow. 733 00:32:56,840 --> 00:32:59,040 I've been once. I've only once played roulette, 734 00:32:59,040 --> 00:33:01,720 and in extraordinary circumstance. It was quite recently. 735 00:33:01,720 --> 00:33:05,520 My wife and I went for our wedding anniversary to Barbados. 736 00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:09,840 We were on the beach. Sun was setting, wonderful golden sand. 737 00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:13,320 And this little old wizened lady 738 00:33:13,320 --> 00:33:15,440 came teetering along the beach towards us. 739 00:33:15,440 --> 00:33:17,400 And it wasn't till she got to about here 740 00:33:17,400 --> 00:33:19,400 that we realised it was actually Mick Jagger. 741 00:33:19,400 --> 00:33:21,880 LAUGHTER 742 00:33:32,680 --> 00:33:37,160 This is a true story. It turned out he was a really enthusiastic viewer 743 00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:40,120 of Countdown, so he knew who I was 744 00:33:40,120 --> 00:33:43,640 and I obviously knew who he was, and my wife was quite excited. 745 00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:47,160 So, anyway, we went off for the evening and we went to a casino 746 00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:50,920 with Mick Jagger and he very sweetly gave us the chips. 747 00:33:50,920 --> 00:33:53,040 And, of course, we...we lost. 748 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:56,640 But it didn't seem to bother him, which was fantastic. 749 00:33:56,640 --> 00:33:58,240 That's amazing. Lovely. 750 00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:01,480 Right, what's so un-British about a roundabout? 751 00:34:01,480 --> 00:34:02,880 # Anarchy... # 752 00:34:02,880 --> 00:34:05,000 Yes, darling. It's French. 753 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:07,040 Yes. Ah. 754 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:09,160 You will...French. ..not be surprised to know 755 00:34:09,160 --> 00:34:11,760 there is a family story. 756 00:34:11,760 --> 00:34:14,640 LAUGHTER 757 00:34:14,640 --> 00:34:16,960 Yes, Gyles. One of my forebears 758 00:34:16,960 --> 00:34:21,680 was married to the Emperor Napoleon III of France. 759 00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:24,680 The Emperor Napoleon III of France, 760 00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:28,160 in exile, lived in Southport. 761 00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,400 And... This is true. 762 00:34:30,400 --> 00:34:32,120 And when he got back to Paris, 763 00:34:32,120 --> 00:34:36,360 when he was restored to become Napoleon III again, 764 00:34:36,360 --> 00:34:39,160 he decided that Paris needed to be redesigned 765 00:34:39,160 --> 00:34:42,040 and chose a man called Haussmann to do it.Yes. 766 00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:43,680 From whom we get Boulevard Haussmann 767 00:34:43,680 --> 00:34:46,040 and all those wonderful boulevards in Paris. And he said, 768 00:34:46,040 --> 00:34:48,320 "The design I would like is, I've been in England 769 00:34:48,320 --> 00:34:50,400 "in a place called Southport. 770 00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:54,040 "And I would like it to look like Southport with these wide boulevards 771 00:34:54,040 --> 00:34:55,920 "and these big circles." 772 00:34:55,920 --> 00:34:59,160 And that is why Paris looks like Southport. 773 00:34:59,160 --> 00:35:02,400 Yes. But the actual roundabout was the invention 774 00:35:02,400 --> 00:35:05,720 of a French town planner who was called Eugene Henard, 775 00:35:05,720 --> 00:35:07,440 at the turn of the 20th century. 776 00:35:07,440 --> 00:35:10,240 Haussmann had lots of people working for him and... 777 00:35:10,240 --> 00:35:11,640 LAUGHTER 778 00:35:11,640 --> 00:35:14,400 Sorry. Earlier, before the start of the show, 779 00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:17,320 Gyles told me that my key card for my dressing room 780 00:35:17,320 --> 00:35:20,320 would also work on the Tube. Is that true? 781 00:35:20,320 --> 00:35:22,720 LAUGHTER AND SCATTERED APPLAUSE 782 00:35:26,600 --> 00:35:28,480 I mean, so Haussmann did do a marvellous job 783 00:35:28,480 --> 00:35:29,840 in making the big boulevards, 784 00:35:29,840 --> 00:35:32,080 but the actual - what's called carrefour giratoire - 785 00:35:32,080 --> 00:35:35,040 the roundabout, was a French town planner, who otherwise is, I think, 786 00:35:35,040 --> 00:35:36,400 not really known. 787 00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,960 Initially, you were allowed to go in any direction. 788 00:35:38,960 --> 00:35:41,160 See, I like that! 789 00:35:43,200 --> 00:35:45,280 I like that. "Where are you coming from?" 790 00:35:45,280 --> 00:35:47,080 JESSICA: That's how you start a riot. 791 00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:49,400 Absolute chaos. One of the largest was at the Arc de Triomphe, 792 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:51,800 it was a nightmare. And then Henard suggested maybe we should all 793 00:35:51,800 --> 00:35:54,000 go in one direction, and the rule was adopted nationwide. 794 00:35:54,000 --> 00:35:56,480 So that roundabout - it's eight lanes wide, it's notorious, 795 00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:59,400 it's called l'Etoile. And there's a legend that an American tourist 796 00:35:59,400 --> 00:36:02,360 once found themselves - he was sucked in to the innermost lane 797 00:36:02,360 --> 00:36:05,840 and he kept going until he ran out of petrol. He simply couldn't... 798 00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:08,280 And so in 1907, British researchers were sent 799 00:36:08,280 --> 00:36:11,760 to observe it and they copied it and they installed the very first... 800 00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:13,160 Yes, darling. 801 00:36:13,160 --> 00:36:16,320 You're going to find this almost impossible to believe. 802 00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:20,320 LAUGHTER AND SCATTERED APPLAUSE 803 00:36:20,320 --> 00:36:23,440 My father... This is getting really close now.Yes. 804 00:36:23,440 --> 00:36:27,320 My father was the legal advisor to the Automobile Association. 805 00:36:27,320 --> 00:36:30,280 Right. And a friend of Ernest Marples, 806 00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:34,800 who was the Transport Minister in the 1950s or '60s. 807 00:36:34,800 --> 00:36:37,600 My father went with Ernest Marples 808 00:36:37,600 --> 00:36:43,520 to help him open Britain's first roundabout in Letchworth new town. 809 00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:46,760 You are absolutely right. Thank you. 810 00:36:46,760 --> 00:36:48,160 CHEERING 811 00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:51,800 True! Fact! Brilliant. Fact! 812 00:36:51,800 --> 00:36:52,840 Oh! 813 00:36:55,240 --> 00:36:57,000 I totally love this. 814 00:36:57,000 --> 00:37:00,920 So there's the Arc de Triomphe, which inspired Letchworth's... 815 00:37:00,920 --> 00:37:03,000 LAUGHTER 816 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:06,040 Can you see the red car? This is my dad... 817 00:37:06,040 --> 00:37:08,040 LAUGHTER 818 00:37:11,120 --> 00:37:12,680 Can I just recommend to you, 819 00:37:12,680 --> 00:37:14,320 if anybody's gone to Letchworth, 820 00:37:14,320 --> 00:37:16,040 you know how we like an old museum? 821 00:37:16,040 --> 00:37:17,360 Mm, yeah, love it. 822 00:37:17,360 --> 00:37:19,040 The Garden City Collection - 823 00:37:19,040 --> 00:37:22,400 it's got the oldest toilet roll in the UK. Aw. 824 00:37:22,400 --> 00:37:24,400 It's 83 years old. Lovely.Unused. 825 00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:28,400 Now it's time to take a turn for the worse as we enter 826 00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:30,840 the head-spinning round that we call General Ignorance. 827 00:37:30,840 --> 00:37:33,480 Fast as we can, please, fingers on buzzers. 828 00:37:33,480 --> 00:37:36,680 What can you put on your fish and chips in a chippy? 829 00:37:36,680 --> 00:37:39,440 # Round, round... # Salt and vinegar. 830 00:37:39,440 --> 00:37:42,880 KLAXON BLARES 831 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:45,360 No. Not salt and vinegar. 832 00:37:45,360 --> 00:37:47,720 Salt, yes, but not vinegar, because...? 833 00:37:47,720 --> 00:37:49,360 It's not vinegar. 834 00:37:49,360 --> 00:37:54,680 It's all labelled "non-brewed condiment" by law. 835 00:37:54,680 --> 00:37:57,400 Not only can it not be labelled as vinegar, you can't even put it 836 00:37:57,400 --> 00:37:59,880 in a receptacle that would usually hold vinegar. 837 00:37:59,880 --> 00:38:02,400 Sorry, could you...? Tell that to her on the right. She'll have you. 838 00:38:02,400 --> 00:38:04,960 LAUGHTER 839 00:38:06,400 --> 00:38:09,080 It's not vinegar. It's not vinegar? 840 00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:10,840 No, it's a combination of water 841 00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,160 and ethanoic acid and flavourings, 842 00:38:13,160 --> 00:38:15,800 and then it's watered down even further to be served to customers. 843 00:38:15,800 --> 00:38:18,080 It's cheaper, it takes less time to make, 844 00:38:18,080 --> 00:38:20,240 you can buy it in concentrated form. And it's lovely. 845 00:38:20,240 --> 00:38:23,040 You have salt and sauce, don't you? No, no, no. 846 00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:25,760 No, in Edinburgh, they have salt and sauce. 847 00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:29,400 In Glasgow, we have salt and vinegar because we're classy.But you don't. 848 00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:33,040 What you actually have is salt and non-brewed condiment. 849 00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:35,760 Are you saying all the bottles of vinegar I've ever owned 850 00:38:35,760 --> 00:38:38,480 never said vinegar on them? No. If you buy it in a shop 851 00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:41,200 and it says vinegar on it, it is vinegar. If you say to 852 00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:43,880 the fish and chip person, "Please, could you put vinegar on it?" 853 00:38:43,880 --> 00:38:46,920 It isn't vinegar. It is, in fact, non-brewed condiment. 854 00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:49,360 But, weirdly, people don't order it like that. 855 00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,040 LAUGHTER 856 00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:53,240 Well, they do from now on.I know. 857 00:38:53,240 --> 00:38:55,680 I'm absolutely shellshocked by this news, Sandi. 858 00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:58,520 Of all the things you've ever told me on QI...This is the one 859 00:38:58,520 --> 00:39:01,920 that's upset you? ..this is the one that's really rocked my world. 860 00:39:01,920 --> 00:39:04,840 No, so you could put your vinegar that you bought in a shop... 861 00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:06,360 So you've got malt vinegar 862 00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:07,720 and that is actually made - 863 00:39:07,720 --> 00:39:09,600 you ferment an ale from malted barley. 864 00:39:09,600 --> 00:39:12,040 Much like red wine vinegar's actually made from red wine, 865 00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:14,400 although it has very little alcohol left in it. 866 00:39:14,400 --> 00:39:15,640 Oh, I love red wine! 867 00:39:15,640 --> 00:39:17,240 LAUGHTER 868 00:39:18,960 --> 00:39:20,440 If you ask for vinegar 869 00:39:20,440 --> 00:39:22,920 on your fish and chips, you probably won't get it. 870 00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:26,560 How many trees are there on the planet compared to 40 years ago? 871 00:39:26,560 --> 00:39:28,120 # Anarchy... # 872 00:39:28,120 --> 00:39:30,040 Gyles. Many more. 873 00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:32,680 Many more. Cos they do them in China, 874 00:39:32,680 --> 00:39:33,880 don't they, Gyles? 875 00:39:33,880 --> 00:39:35,960 According to a study in Nature, 2018, 876 00:39:35,960 --> 00:39:37,960 trees now cover 7% more 877 00:39:37,960 --> 00:39:40,800 of the Earth's surface than they did in 1982. 878 00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:42,960 So that sounds good, and NASA says 879 00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:44,600 they've got images that show 880 00:39:44,600 --> 00:39:46,680 a 5% increase in the total area. 881 00:39:46,680 --> 00:39:48,320 But it's not a good thing. 882 00:39:48,320 --> 00:39:50,040 Because it's China, fundamentally, 883 00:39:50,040 --> 00:39:51,880 that has done this very large 884 00:39:51,880 --> 00:39:53,440 afforestation project 885 00:39:53,440 --> 00:39:56,040 in the world, they've doubled their tree coverage. 886 00:39:56,040 --> 00:39:59,760 However, it's forestation for agricultural purposes. 887 00:39:59,760 --> 00:40:02,040 So we are talking about single species of trees, 888 00:40:02,040 --> 00:40:04,480 we're talking about unnatural monoculture. 889 00:40:04,480 --> 00:40:06,760 You don't get ecosystems. Biodiversity. 890 00:40:06,760 --> 00:40:08,440 You don't get wildlife and insects 891 00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:12,120 and...And also, lots of trees have been planted on unsuitable land and 892 00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:14,120 they are, basically, dying. 893 00:40:14,120 --> 00:40:17,560 Who invented the battle technique of Blitzkrieg? 894 00:40:17,560 --> 00:40:20,080 # Riot... # Someone Gyles is related to! No. 895 00:40:22,280 --> 00:40:23,880 Blitzkrieg Brandreth. 896 00:40:23,880 --> 00:40:26,760 The Wehrmacht. German Army. 897 00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:28,160 Ze Germans? 898 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:31,280 Er, no. 899 00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:34,640 The French. 900 00:40:34,640 --> 00:40:36,960 So... Russians. British. 901 00:40:36,960 --> 00:40:41,200 It was us, it was us, pretty much. We named it.It is a German word - 902 00:40:41,200 --> 00:40:44,080 Blitz, lightning, and Krieg, war. 903 00:40:44,080 --> 00:40:47,160 Very rarely used in Germany in the 1930s and '40s. 904 00:40:47,160 --> 00:40:49,000 Definitely not used by the German leaders 905 00:40:49,000 --> 00:40:50,880 when the Blitzkrieg actually happened, 906 00:40:50,880 --> 00:40:54,080 when they invaded Poland in 1939, France in 1941. 907 00:40:54,080 --> 00:40:57,720 In fact, Hitler called it "a completely idiotic word." 908 00:40:57,720 --> 00:41:00,760 "Ein ganz blodsinniges Wort." 909 00:41:00,760 --> 00:41:02,600 It's not often I quote Hitler. 910 00:41:02,600 --> 00:41:05,600 LAUGHTER 911 00:41:05,600 --> 00:41:08,400 In fact, to the Germans the success of the Blitzkrieg 912 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:11,600 completely surprised them. They thought it was rather a miracle, 913 00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:14,240 but it wasn't any new innovation. So what happens is 914 00:41:14,240 --> 00:41:17,280 there are short, sharp attacks on the ground with armoured vehicles 915 00:41:17,280 --> 00:41:19,640 and then the air support comes in behind 916 00:41:19,640 --> 00:41:21,000 and kind of finishes things off. 917 00:41:21,000 --> 00:41:24,000 Lots and lots of tanks and lots of peaceful, undefended villages. 918 00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:26,840 That's it. This kind of tank and aircraft warfare, 919 00:41:26,840 --> 00:41:28,920 it had been evolving since World War I, 920 00:41:28,920 --> 00:41:31,680 so it was not really a new thing. But the British and American press, 921 00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:34,600 they decided the advance by the Germans, which surprised everybody, 922 00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:37,560 including the Germans, had to be a revolutionary new kind of warfare 923 00:41:37,560 --> 00:41:40,200 so they claimed that the man in charge of commanding 924 00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:43,200 the mechanised troops, General Heinz Guderian, 925 00:41:43,200 --> 00:41:44,960 was the father of the Blitzkrieg. 926 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:46,560 Lots of publicity in the press 927 00:41:46,560 --> 00:41:48,960 and in the end, the soldiers on the ground were using it, 928 00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,680 but it was not a German invention at all. 929 00:41:51,680 --> 00:41:54,280 Just given it a German name to make it sound snappy. 930 00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:56,760 To make it sound like they had invented something, 931 00:41:56,760 --> 00:41:59,240 a new technique that would explain why the Allied forces 932 00:41:59,240 --> 00:42:01,320 were losing, at that time. 933 00:42:01,320 --> 00:42:04,440 Now, what goes around comes around, so we're back to revolutions. 934 00:42:04,440 --> 00:42:07,920 In which month do Russians celebrate this revolution? 935 00:42:07,920 --> 00:42:09,440 # Anarchy... # 936 00:42:09,440 --> 00:42:10,640 October. 937 00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:12,680 KLAXON BLARES 938 00:42:12,680 --> 00:42:15,320 Oh, no. 939 00:42:15,320 --> 00:42:18,120 So it is called the October Revolution, you're absolutely right. 940 00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:20,960 But it isn't celebrated in October. It's celebrated in November. Oh! 941 00:42:20,960 --> 00:42:23,160 Why might that be? Cos it's my birthday 942 00:42:23,160 --> 00:42:25,720 and everyone has a party on my birthday. 943 00:42:25,720 --> 00:42:28,080 Did they shift the calendar? They did shift the calendar. 944 00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:31,840 That's exactly it. Russia was still using the Julian calendar, 945 00:42:31,840 --> 00:42:33,640 which was 13 days behind. 946 00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:36,600 The Bolsheviks under Lenin revolted on October the 24th and 25th, 947 00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:39,440 but it was, according to the rest of Europe, November the 6th and 7th. 948 00:42:39,440 --> 00:42:42,360 That's my birthday, November the 6th!Is it? Yeah. 949 00:42:42,360 --> 00:42:45,120 Lenin would have been so pleased. 950 00:42:45,120 --> 00:42:47,440 LAUGHTER 951 00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:50,240 And with these revolutionary revelations, 952 00:42:50,240 --> 00:42:53,560 we come to the final scores. I can tell you...in last place 953 00:42:53,560 --> 00:42:57,400 with -14, it's Alan. Oh, Alan! 954 00:42:57,400 --> 00:43:00,840 APPLAUSE 955 00:43:00,840 --> 00:43:06,000 And third place with three points - Susan. Oh, yes! Come on. 956 00:43:06,000 --> 00:43:07,480 Come on! 957 00:43:07,480 --> 00:43:10,200 In second place with four points - Jessica! 958 00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,440 APPLAUSE 959 00:43:15,600 --> 00:43:18,920 And with five points in first place, because he is related to the man 960 00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:22,320 who invented first place... 961 00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:23,800 ..Gyles! 962 00:43:23,800 --> 00:43:26,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 963 00:43:32,480 --> 00:43:35,320 Thank you to our guests, Jessica, Gyles, Susan and Alan. 964 00:43:35,320 --> 00:43:38,600 I leave you with these words from American actress Lee Grant, 965 00:43:38,600 --> 00:43:41,840 which exposed the real problem with revolutionary ideas - 966 00:43:41,840 --> 00:43:44,440 "I've been married to one Marxist and one fascist, 967 00:43:44,440 --> 00:43:46,640 "and neither one would take the garbage out." 968 00:43:46,640 --> 00:43:48,520 Thank you and goodnight.