1 00:00:19,192 --> 00:00:21,192 *Q I* Season 18 Episode 14 IMDB S18E13 Video Release 2 00:00:21,276 --> 00:00:23,276 Episode Title: "R-Animals" Aired on: January 07, 2021 3 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,960 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 4 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,236 Good evening and welcome to QI. 5 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:37,196 Tonight we'll be regaling you with remarkable research regarding 6 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:39,356 animals starting with the letter R. 7 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:41,836 And we'll be doing it with these magnificent beasts. 8 00:00:41,920 --> 00:00:45,036 A rollicking rockfish, Maggie Aderin-Pocock. 9 00:00:45,120 --> 00:00:48,076 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 10 00:00:48,160 --> 00:00:50,756 A roguish Rottweiler, Ed Gamble. 11 00:00:50,840 --> 00:00:52,640 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 12 00:00:53,760 --> 00:00:56,156 A ravenous raven, Tom Allen. 13 00:00:56,240 --> 00:00:58,916 Oh, a ravenous raven, that's who I am. 14 00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,196 And Roger my Rabbit, Alan Davies. 15 00:01:01,280 --> 00:01:03,156 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 16 00:01:03,240 --> 00:01:07,076 Right, let's hear their beastly buzzers. 17 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:08,996 Maggie goes... 18 00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,556 ROARING 19 00:01:11,640 --> 00:01:13,796 You bet! Yeah, that's very good. 20 00:01:13,880 --> 00:01:14,916 Ed goes. 21 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,276 FROG CROAKS 22 00:01:16,360 --> 00:01:18,796 Fair enough, yeah. Yeah. Tom? 23 00:01:18,880 --> 00:01:21,596 MONKEYS CHATTER 24 00:01:21,680 --> 00:01:25,116 That's what's happening inside my head all the time. 25 00:01:25,200 --> 00:01:26,756 Alan goes... 26 00:01:26,840 --> 00:01:31,956 WHALE SONG 27 00:01:32,040 --> 00:01:34,036 What animal do you reckon it was? 28 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:36,956 It sort of sounds like a blue whale, surely? 29 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:38,956 KLAXON SOUNDS 30 00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:41,596 I mean, what kind of boy doesn't know his blue whale 31 00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:42,636 from his humpback? 32 00:01:42,720 --> 00:01:44,316 Oh, a humpback, of course. 33 00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:46,756 Right, now, today's show all about animals but, Maggie, 34 00:01:46,840 --> 00:01:48,956 you work on The Sky At Night, you're a scientist, 35 00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:50,676 you're always looking up into space. 36 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:55,076 What animal can you see here, if I show you this picture? 37 00:01:55,160 --> 00:01:57,676 There are people in the world, mostly Japan, China, 38 00:01:57,760 --> 00:02:00,156 other Far Eastern countries. Ah, yeah. Ooh, ooh... Rabbit? 39 00:02:00,240 --> 00:02:02,316 It is. It is a rabbit. I can't see it myself. 40 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:04,316 Tom, are you seeing rabbit? What do you reckon? 41 00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:06,756 I feel like it's when somebody shows you their baby scan. 42 00:02:06,840 --> 00:02:09,436 Yes. And you go like, "Oh, yeah, that's... 43 00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:11,036 "Wow! It looks just like you!" 44 00:02:11,120 --> 00:02:12,956 It's just like... It just looks like that. 45 00:02:13,040 --> 00:02:14,436 Yeah. No, I can't see anything. 46 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:16,356 Sometimes even when the baby's been born, 47 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,916 you think, "No, I'm still not..." 48 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,436 Just, "What's that?" Like a turnip. 49 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:21,236 I don't see it, but we can superimpose... 50 00:02:21,320 --> 00:02:23,396 Oh, please superimpose. ..the thing on the top of it. 51 00:02:23,480 --> 00:02:25,676 Oh, yeah.And then. See? I mean, that's. Yeah. What? 52 00:02:25,760 --> 00:02:27,556 Even that doesn't look like a rabbit. 53 00:02:27,640 --> 00:02:29,796 It looks like a sorrowful rabbit. 54 00:02:29,880 --> 00:02:32,956 It looks like the rabbit's going, "Oh, I'm on the Moon. 55 00:02:33,040 --> 00:02:34,076 "I've no friends." 56 00:02:34,160 --> 00:02:37,796 It looks like a map of the UK in a high wind. Yeah. 57 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:40,116 It looks like a rabbit trying to do a magic trick 58 00:02:40,200 --> 00:02:42,516 where it pulls a smaller rabbit out of a hat.Yes. 59 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:46,196 Apparently it's meant to be a mortar and pestle and it's grinding, 60 00:02:46,280 --> 00:02:48,036 I don't know, herbs for the gods. 61 00:02:48,120 --> 00:02:49,836 In some stories the rabbit is a companion 62 00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,076 of the Goddess of the Moon, who's called Chang'e, 63 00:02:52,160 --> 00:02:53,476 the Chinese Goddess of the Moon. 64 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:55,636 She floated up to the Moon after drinking too much 65 00:02:55,720 --> 00:02:57,036 elixir of immortality. 66 00:02:57,120 --> 00:02:58,916 Oh. Oh, I've... I've had that evening. 67 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,596 Yeah. I've been there. People who peddle these things, 68 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,236 do you think they ever run out of steam? 69 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:05,636 "She floated up to the... oh, it doesn't matter."Yeah. 70 00:03:05,720 --> 00:03:10,156 She was married to a celebrated archer, who was called Hou Yi, 71 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:11,716 and it was too hot. 72 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:14,476 There were ten suns in the sky, and he shot nine of them 73 00:03:14,560 --> 00:03:16,716 out of the sky, so that we only had one left. 74 00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,076 And the goddess in charge was so thrilled with this 75 00:03:19,160 --> 00:03:21,116 that she gave him the elixir of immortality, 76 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:22,276 but only enough for one. 77 00:03:22,360 --> 00:03:24,636 So he thought, "I'm not leaving my wife, that's not nice," 78 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,316 so he put it under the bed. She drank it. Yeah. Ooh... 79 00:03:27,400 --> 00:03:30,076 I know, it's not a happy marriage story, is it? Not really. 80 00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:31,436 They couldn't split it? 81 00:03:31,520 --> 00:03:33,516 Well, anyway, she floated off to the Moon, 82 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:35,396 because he was so cross with her. Oh. Wow. 83 00:03:35,480 --> 00:03:38,076 That's a bitof a downer, that story, OK. 84 00:03:38,160 --> 00:03:39,836 What do they think the Moon is? 85 00:03:39,920 --> 00:03:41,676 I mean, does she think you get up there 86 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,916 and it's like sort of a Four Seasons hotel or something? 87 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:46,516 Well, it's a really good question, what do you think the Moon is? 88 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,316 Because the Samoan people believe that there was a girl called Sina, 89 00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,596 and she was a beautiful girl who thought that the Moon 90 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,996 was made of breadfruit and there was a terrible famine, 91 00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,316 and so she asked the Moon to come and feed her. 92 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:59,316 The Moon was annoyed, so it kidnapped Sina into the sky. 93 00:03:59,400 --> 00:04:01,956 And so she lives in the Moon. It's crowded up there, isn't it? 94 00:04:02,040 --> 00:04:04,916 Terribly busy. Everybody living up there.It's terribly busy. 95 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:07,396 So she thought the Moon was breadfruit?Yes, she did. 96 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:09,196 So she asked the breadfruit to come to her 97 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:10,636 so she could eat the breadfruit? 98 00:04:10,720 --> 00:04:13,396 And then the breadfruit kidnapped her because it was annoyed? 99 00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:15,076 "Hey, breadfruit!" "Yes?"Yeah, yeah. 100 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:17,000 "Come down!" "Yeah, sure, OK." 101 00:04:18,800 --> 00:04:20,956 MAGGIE: "Now you're coming with me!" Yeah, exactly. 102 00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,516 It's not a good story. When I see... ..when I hear about planets 103 00:04:23,600 --> 00:04:25,356 with more than one moon, I'm quite envious. 104 00:04:25,440 --> 00:04:27,396 Like Jupiter has got several moons, hasn't it? 105 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,076 Well over 60, and we're finding more. 106 00:04:29,160 --> 00:04:31,756 Well over 60? Oh, yeah. Oh. The outer planets tend to sort of be... 107 00:04:31,840 --> 00:04:34,916 ..they're bigger and there's sort of more gravity and stuff like that. 108 00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,916 But, you see, our moon is the best moon.Why? 109 00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:40,876 Well, compared with Earth, our moon is very big. 110 00:04:40,960 --> 00:04:43,076 And so it helps protect us, so asteroids, meteorites, 111 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,476 things like that, the Moon will take some of those knocks. 112 00:04:45,560 --> 00:04:46,756 You can see it on the craters. 113 00:04:46,840 --> 00:04:49,396 So the Moon takes some of the knocks for us.Like a bouncer. 114 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:53,716 Yeah, that's it. "Oi, step away. Yeah, I'll take that. Move away." 115 00:04:53,800 --> 00:04:57,036 If the Earth and the Moon perhaps were formed at a similar time 116 00:04:57,120 --> 00:04:59,476 and the Earth is in the Goldilocks zone with the water 117 00:04:59,560 --> 00:05:01,636 and the environment and the atmosphere. Yes. 118 00:05:01,720 --> 00:05:04,436 And so is the Moon, but the Moon, nothing. No. 119 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:05,956 A really harsh environment. 120 00:05:06,040 --> 00:05:07,516 But the Moon's so much smaller. 121 00:05:07,600 --> 00:05:09,516 If you took the surface area of the Moon, 122 00:05:09,600 --> 00:05:12,476 it's about... Slightly smaller than the surface area of Asia. 123 00:05:12,560 --> 00:05:14,676 So it's quite small in comparison. 124 00:05:14,760 --> 00:05:19,396 And also, being small, it's got lots less gravity, and so, yeah, 125 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:21,676 if it did ever have an atmosphere, it's long gone. 126 00:05:21,760 --> 00:05:24,036 So it's the size and the lack of gravity 127 00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:27,836 that stops it forming an atmosphere? Yeah. Also, as a result, 128 00:05:27,920 --> 00:05:30,276 it means the sun's rays blast it really hard. 129 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:31,716 And so, for instance, 130 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,236 the temperature on the moon goes from minus 150 to plus 150. 131 00:05:34,320 --> 00:05:37,236 So in... Oh, I had a boiler like that once. 132 00:05:37,320 --> 00:05:39,396 Just can't get it right.No. Nothing in the middle. 133 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:42,316 So, tell me something, while we're delving into your knowledge here, 134 00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:44,836 if there was an actual rabbit on the Moon... Yes? 135 00:05:44,920 --> 00:05:47,956 ...would we have been able to detect it, in theory, 136 00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:50,076 if we had had the Planck spacecraft? Yes. 137 00:05:50,160 --> 00:05:53,556 Am I right that they were able to detect variations in temperature... 138 00:05:53,640 --> 00:05:55,596 Yes...to, like, a millionth of a degree? Yes. 139 00:05:55,680 --> 00:05:59,236 So you could, through temperature, have picked up a rabbit on the Moon? 140 00:05:59,320 --> 00:06:01,476 Yes, but assuming a rabbit could survive on the Moon, 141 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,156 and maintain its temperature, then it could have picked it up. 142 00:06:04,240 --> 00:06:06,676 Right. Sorry, I'm getting so carried away.I know. 143 00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:09,196 No, we want people... No, I'm quite interested in this stuff. 144 00:06:09,280 --> 00:06:10,876 Generally on this show we know nothing, 145 00:06:10,960 --> 00:06:13,356 so this is a very exciting move into actual facts. 146 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,796 At the moment this feels like the morning of a science exam 147 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,236 and Maggie is the only child who's done any revision. 148 00:06:18,320 --> 00:06:19,680 I've done more than you guys! 149 00:06:21,520 --> 00:06:23,556 There may be some actual animals living on the Moon, 150 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:24,756 that is a possibility, 151 00:06:24,840 --> 00:06:27,756 so in 2019 an Israeli spacecraft crash landed on the Moon. 152 00:06:27,840 --> 00:06:30,956 The payload contained tardigrades. Do you know about tardigrades? 153 00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:32,116 Yeah, water bears. 154 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:33,516 Yes. Yes. Argh! 155 00:06:33,600 --> 00:06:35,276 Oh! Very, very robust. 156 00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:38,356 They were encapsulated, I think, in amber, 157 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:40,676 but they can hibernate for sort of decades at a time. 158 00:06:40,760 --> 00:06:43,076 And they can experience sort of very cold temperatures. 159 00:06:43,160 --> 00:06:44,552 So they could survive. 160 00:06:44,637 --> 00:06:46,796 They could bring them back to Earth and see if they sort of wake up. 161 00:06:46,880 --> 00:06:48,556 They're amazing, they're micro animals. 162 00:06:48,640 --> 00:06:50,236 Do you not think they're extraordinary? 163 00:06:50,320 --> 00:06:51,876 I think they're kind of cute, actually. 164 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:54,520 No, it's horrible. It's like some horrible alien dick pic. 165 00:06:56,520 --> 00:07:00,756 Let's Google that, "horrible alien dick pic."Dick pic. 166 00:07:00,840 --> 00:07:01,996 See what comes up. 167 00:07:02,080 --> 00:07:04,276 They were desiccated, the ones that landed on the moon. 168 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:07,356 Presumably if they... Like coconut? Yes, darling, exactly like coconut. 169 00:07:07,440 --> 00:07:09,796 I'm going to... Chewy, but. Delicious. 170 00:07:09,880 --> 00:07:12,716 If you drop you drop them in water, whether they'd come back to life. 171 00:07:12,800 --> 00:07:14,476 I don't know enough about tardigrades. 172 00:07:14,560 --> 00:07:15,840 Tom, this is not Bake Off. 173 00:07:17,520 --> 00:07:20,956 Right. How might small pants affect your sex life? 174 00:07:21,040 --> 00:07:23,316 Oh, my!Any thoughts? 175 00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:27,796 I'm very much enjoying the dungaree version on the far left. 176 00:07:27,880 --> 00:07:30,116 I don't know quite what he's going to put in that pocket. 177 00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,636 Yeah. Yeah. What's going to go in there? But imagine if a... 178 00:07:32,720 --> 00:07:35,076 If a painter/decorator turned up dressed in that, 179 00:07:35,160 --> 00:07:38,156 you'd be like, "Oh, no, you're not taking this seriously at all." 180 00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:41,036 I don't think you would be either, darling. No. 181 00:07:41,120 --> 00:07:44,036 I have a little prop here to see if this assists you. 182 00:07:44,120 --> 00:07:47,396 So I'm talking about very, very small pants, OK 183 00:07:47,480 --> 00:07:49,476 Aww! 184 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:52,116 These are polyester underpants and they have been used to - 185 00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:54,756 not these particular ones, obviously - 186 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,036 but pants this size used examining the sex life. 187 00:07:57,120 --> 00:07:59,076 You're not asking how it would affect my sex life? 188 00:07:59,160 --> 00:08:01,356 It would, it might. Those might? Notthese ones, but... 189 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:02,956 Well, I'd imagine... I bet they would! 190 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:05,236 It would completely destroy it, I'd imagine, Sandi. 191 00:08:05,320 --> 00:08:08,716 This is a pair of tiny trousers, a little bit like the ones 192 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:12,636 that were used by an Egyptian neurologist called Ahmed Shafik, 193 00:08:12,720 --> 00:08:16,076 and he wanted to study the impact of various textile 194 00:08:16,160 --> 00:08:19,876 materials on the sex life of rats, OK? 195 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:23,316 Oh.Why might he think that this was a good idea? 196 00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:24,756 Funding? 197 00:08:24,840 --> 00:08:27,876 Yes, it's how you get... how you get grants, isn't it? 198 00:08:27,960 --> 00:08:29,276 Research grant?Yeah. 199 00:08:29,360 --> 00:08:31,996 Well, rats are quite similar to humans, well, in some ways. 200 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:34,156 We often use them... Well, "we," - I don't, no.No. 201 00:08:34,240 --> 00:08:37,356 They have been used. They have been used, yes.That's absolutely right. 202 00:08:37,440 --> 00:08:39,116 So they had different groups of male rats 203 00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:40,956 and some of them had tiny pants made of wool, 204 00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:42,556 some had cotton, some had polyester. 205 00:08:42,640 --> 00:08:45,836 Some had a polyester/cotton mix, which I don't approve of, darling. 206 00:08:45,920 --> 00:08:48,476 Oh, no, that sounds very sweaty. Yes. 207 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:49,876 And then there was a control group 208 00:08:49,960 --> 00:08:52,196 who were obviously commando, clearly. Of course, yes. 209 00:08:52,280 --> 00:08:54,796 Clearly the commando rats. Letting it out there. Yeah.Yeah. 210 00:08:54,880 --> 00:08:56,876 And I don't know if I can say it on here, 211 00:08:56,960 --> 00:08:59,396 but they had little openings made for the anus 212 00:08:59,480 --> 00:09:01,276 and for the penis and for the tail. 213 00:09:01,360 --> 00:09:03,396 You've said it, you just said it straight out. 214 00:09:03,480 --> 00:09:05,676 I know, did it sound all right? Yeah, it sounded fine. 215 00:09:05,760 --> 00:09:07,556 You really ran with it. Fine. Yeah. I just... 216 00:09:07,640 --> 00:09:10,356 You're saying it with a pair of tweezers in your hand. 217 00:09:10,440 --> 00:09:11,716 I know, I was trying to... 218 00:09:11,800 --> 00:09:13,116 Didn't want to touch it. 219 00:09:13,200 --> 00:09:15,156 Have you got a picture of a rat wearing those? 220 00:09:15,240 --> 00:09:17,276 Sort of, "Hey!" No. Unfortunately, we don't. 221 00:09:17,360 --> 00:09:19,996 Samuel Whiskers is the best that we could do wearing a pair of pants. 222 00:09:20,080 --> 00:09:22,636 Anyway, the rats were selected based on their high potency, OK? 223 00:09:22,720 --> 00:09:23,876 Ooh-hoo!I know. 224 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:25,556 And so they had their sexual activity... 225 00:09:25,640 --> 00:09:27,716 They fill in a form. 226 00:09:27,800 --> 00:09:29,956 "High potency?" "High." "Oh, yes, that's me." 227 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:32,276 So they had their sexual activity checked four times. 228 00:09:32,360 --> 00:09:33,676 So it was once before the study, 229 00:09:33,760 --> 00:09:36,436 then once after six months of wearing the pants, whichever. 230 00:09:36,520 --> 00:09:38,356 Six months of wearing the pants?! I know, wow. 231 00:09:38,440 --> 00:09:41,036 And then once after 12 months of wearing the pants. 12 months?! 232 00:09:41,120 --> 00:09:43,716 And then finally, at six months after the pants had been removed. 233 00:09:43,800 --> 00:09:45,956 So these are the four times that they checked. 234 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:49,156 A year of wearing the same pants, what were they, students? 235 00:09:49,240 --> 00:09:51,756 So here's the bit of the graph that I don't care for. 236 00:09:51,840 --> 00:09:53,876 It's the insertion to mount ratio. 237 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:55,436 TOM GASPS 238 00:09:55,520 --> 00:09:57,836 So, the control group, the wool group and the cotton group, 239 00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:00,156 didn't seem to make any bloody difference to them at all. 240 00:10:00,240 --> 00:10:01,796 Their sex life seemed exactly the same. 241 00:10:01,880 --> 00:10:04,276 They don't have to take their pants off, they're ready to go? 242 00:10:04,360 --> 00:10:06,556 No, there's a hole... I tried to show you. Oh, yeah. 243 00:10:06,640 --> 00:10:09,636 A little... Don't make her do it again, Alan, it's very unpleasant. 244 00:10:09,720 --> 00:10:12,876 If their partner's got the tweezers, they're all right?Yes, exactly. 245 00:10:12,960 --> 00:10:16,396 How do the pants with the hole in the front and the back 246 00:10:16,480 --> 00:10:18,116 for the tail relate to human trousers? 247 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:20,236 Because I've only got two to three pairs of trousers 248 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,756 with a hole in the front and the back. 249 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:24,556 No, so what I'm saying is, the wool was fine, the cotton was fine, 250 00:10:24,640 --> 00:10:26,076 the commando, they were all fine. 251 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,756 It's the polyester and polyester mix pants. We said that. 252 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:32,356 So they showed an increase in attempted mounts, 253 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,916 but a decrease in successful insertion. Oh. 254 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,396 Is it because they just slid right off? 255 00:10:37,480 --> 00:10:39,476 MAGGIE: "Wheeee!" Well, it may... 256 00:10:39,560 --> 00:10:42,156 Was the other rat wearing polyester as well and just...? 257 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:44,716 "Wahey! Wow" Terrible friction. Get a bit of friction there. 258 00:10:44,800 --> 00:10:46,436 It could cause a fire. Yeah, there was a... 259 00:10:46,520 --> 00:10:49,236 Does anybody remember nylon sheets? That was a very bad idea. 260 00:10:49,320 --> 00:10:51,236 You got into bed and slid out the other side. 261 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:53,916 If you did it in the dark, you could stroke them and they'd spark up. 262 00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,276 Spark up? Really?! Yeah, it is, like a light show. 263 00:10:56,360 --> 00:10:58,196 So, darling, this is some of the issues 264 00:10:58,280 --> 00:11:00,836 with these polyester pants, right... Oh, really?! 265 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,836 ...is that it generated electrostatic charges in the scrotal area. 266 00:11:03,920 --> 00:11:05,876 Do you see how I'm saying all of these things? 267 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:08,080 Oh, everything about that is so sexy. Yeah. 268 00:11:09,080 --> 00:11:11,876 I'm going to Google that one first! 269 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,716 Wow! When you say things like that, Sandi, 270 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:19,156 I mean, I don't know if they'll be able to broadcast this. 271 00:11:19,240 --> 00:11:20,716 It was very good, I... 272 00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,276 Electrostatic charges in the scrotal area. 273 00:11:23,360 --> 00:11:24,956 I'm just committing it to memory. 274 00:11:25,040 --> 00:11:27,116 I'm going to make up a poem. I'm going to use that one. 275 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,756 I've never seen a pornographic film. Do they have voice-over? 276 00:11:29,840 --> 00:11:32,356 I could do the voice-over. I think that... I think you just did. 277 00:11:32,440 --> 00:11:35,116 No, they don't have voice-over. I wish they did have voice-over. 278 00:11:35,200 --> 00:11:39,356 Do you think it's like a David Attenborough nature documentary? 279 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:40,880 "And here we have the plumber." 280 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,956 "No, that's not the tool I thought he meant at all!" 281 00:11:48,040 --> 00:11:49,716 Surely there's audio description? 282 00:11:49,800 --> 00:11:52,800 Pornography for the visually impaired. 283 00:11:54,400 --> 00:11:56,796 It's possible that this electrostatic field, 284 00:11:56,880 --> 00:11:58,436 I'm trying to be serious about it, 285 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,596 is responsible for reduced sexual success. 286 00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:03,316 That is the possibility. Well, it would put you off, wouldn't it? 287 00:12:03,400 --> 00:12:05,156 Yes. With the light and sparks. So why...? 288 00:12:05,240 --> 00:12:07,836 Yeah, the sparks coming off it, I think I'd probably say, 289 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:09,916 actually, "Let's just have an early night." 290 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:11,396 "Another time." Let's, yeah. 291 00:12:11,480 --> 00:12:13,036 So anyway, you know, don't wear them. 292 00:12:13,120 --> 00:12:15,676 I think that's fundamentally what we're saying. 293 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:19,316 Or do wear them, if you want an electric shock in your balls. 294 00:12:19,400 --> 00:12:21,396 Anyway, moving on. 295 00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:26,636 What is powdered rhino horn used for in traditional Chinese medicine? 296 00:12:26,720 --> 00:12:28,476 I'm going for it. ROARING 297 00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:30,356 Yes? Aphrodisiac? 298 00:12:30,440 --> 00:12:32,316 KLAXON SOUNDS 299 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:34,996 Oh. I know, I know. 300 00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:37,356 Ah.ED: Yeah, that's obviously what we were all thinking. 301 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:40,796 Yeah. But I'm always thinking that with everything.Are you? 302 00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,196 "That could be an aphrodisiac, I'll give that a go." 303 00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:46,036 In official Chinese traditional medicine, rhino horn - 304 00:12:46,120 --> 00:12:48,996 or xi jiao - has never been prescribed as a sexual stimulant. 305 00:12:49,080 --> 00:12:51,636 It's a myth which the western media seems happy to run with, 306 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:52,756 and it's not true at all. 307 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,836 Most often seems to be prescribed for fever. 308 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:58,756 But there's a whole list of things that you might suggest it for. 309 00:12:58,840 --> 00:13:00,596 I imagine the horn, if it wasn't powdered, 310 00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,956 I imagine the horn could be quite a sexual stimulant. 311 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:05,596 What, so you could just literally say, "I've got the horn?" 312 00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:07,036 Yeah.Yeah. Da-da! 313 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,396 Is that where that comes from? Here it is!Got the horn? No. 314 00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:12,796 In these socially distanced times, it might be better. 315 00:13:12,880 --> 00:13:15,476 Oh, Alan! Here's a rhino horn! 316 00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:18,436 What are you doing there, Harry Potter? 317 00:13:18,520 --> 00:13:20,236 What are you doing, conducting the Proms? 318 00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:23,316 I haven't got the point... The pointy end's pointing out.Right. 319 00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,796 I want... and I'm... Tempting a woman. 320 00:13:25,880 --> 00:13:28,316 Yeah, I'm being tempting. It doesn't have to be a woman, 321 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:30,356 could be a rhino. But being very alluring. 322 00:13:30,440 --> 00:13:32,036 I don't think a rhino would be tempted 323 00:13:32,120 --> 00:13:33,636 by the disembodied horn of its friend. 324 00:13:33,720 --> 00:13:35,716 That's Uncle Albert! 325 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:37,076 "Come on!" 326 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:40,996 You go, "There's a rhino over there," and they come over 327 00:13:41,080 --> 00:13:43,236 and then they think, "Well, actually, now I'm here." 328 00:13:43,320 --> 00:13:46,116 Have a look at all these diseases that in traditional Chinese medicine 329 00:13:46,200 --> 00:13:47,996 they reckon you can cure with some rhino horn. 330 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:52,956 Of which my favourite, I think, is, "The evil miasma of hill streams." 331 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,836 Classic, yeah. When you get it, it's... 332 00:13:54,920 --> 00:13:56,396 That's very bad. Can't get rid of it. 333 00:13:56,480 --> 00:13:59,676 Although rectal bleeding... Well, you would get that with a rhino. 334 00:13:59,760 --> 00:14:01,000 Yeah. Yeah. 335 00:14:01,920 --> 00:14:03,116 China isn't the only culture 336 00:14:03,200 --> 00:14:05,396 to attribute special properties to the rhino horn. 337 00:14:05,480 --> 00:14:08,596 So the Greeks believed that you could detect poisons if you drank, 338 00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:11,756 because it would produce bubbles, or by the horn changing colour. 339 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,476 So there may be something in the poison detection thing, 340 00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:16,356 because rhino horn is mostly made of keratin, 341 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:18,836 and it chemically reacts with strong alkaline solutions, 342 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:20,076 which many poisons are. 343 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:22,756 But it's a nonsense, isn't it, the medicinal thing?Yeah. 344 00:14:22,840 --> 00:14:26,596 I mean, they did a study in 1990 at the Hong Kong University, 345 00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:29,356 and they used very large doses of rhino horn and it very... 346 00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:32,996 Again rats, very slightly lowered fever in them, but not worth it, 347 00:14:33,080 --> 00:14:35,996 I think, to kill a rhino to get a rat to feel a tiny bit better. 348 00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:39,276 The trade-off is not good. Just take its pants off, it'll be fine. 349 00:14:39,360 --> 00:14:42,516 Call me an animal rights mad person, but I think that's probably... 350 00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,276 Put some cotton briefs on. 351 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:46,756 You'll be right as rain. 352 00:14:46,840 --> 00:14:50,916 But the reason that they come to a point is that the outer keratin 353 00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,956 is softened by the sun, and then it's worn away 354 00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,796 when they clash horns and rub and so on, and the solid core remains. 355 00:14:56,880 --> 00:14:58,876 And if their horns were hard all the way through, 356 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,556 then it would have a cylindrical horn, 357 00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:01,996 it wouldn't be shaped in any way. 358 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,516 If they looked after it, they could have like a Coke can, 359 00:15:04,600 --> 00:15:06,276 a little stump.It would look great! 360 00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:08,436 A flat top.Yeah. Yes. 361 00:15:08,520 --> 00:15:10,476 "Just back off, I'm growing this!" Yeah. 362 00:15:10,560 --> 00:15:12,916 "I don't want one of those pointy ones, I want a stumpy one." 363 00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:15,276 Well, there are some that have a different shape to it, 364 00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,276 because most of them tend to grow in that shape 365 00:15:17,360 --> 00:15:19,316 and that's because keratin... Look at him! 366 00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,716 The keratin on the front grows faster than the keratin in the back. 367 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:27,556 But you do see the occasional rhino with a forward curving horn. 368 00:15:27,640 --> 00:15:30,036 Oh.And this one just looks depressed, doesn't it? 369 00:15:30,120 --> 00:15:31,196 Because it's always... 370 00:15:31,280 --> 00:15:34,116 Yeah, it's like he had a normal horn and then it went, "Oooh!" 371 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:36,476 I know! Aww! 372 00:15:36,560 --> 00:15:41,636 Right. Which part of a race horse anatomy needs to be really big 373 00:15:41,720 --> 00:15:43,156 if it's going to win? 374 00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:44,316 His nose. 375 00:15:44,400 --> 00:15:46,440 KLAXON SOUNDS 376 00:15:48,640 --> 00:15:51,316 A long nose is going to get you there first.Yeah. 377 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:53,716 Well, it depends how long, right? Yeah. But ahead by a nose. 378 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,076 A couple of feet.Yeah. 379 00:15:55,160 --> 00:15:57,876 And just the whole length of the track and just go... 380 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:01,396 Yeah. Yeah.I don't think this one's a winner, particularly. No. 381 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:04,436 But... It can read though, so.Yeah. 382 00:16:04,520 --> 00:16:06,476 What's the feature that most directly links 383 00:16:06,560 --> 00:16:07,636 to success on the track? 384 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:08,996 Oh, is it...? 385 00:16:09,080 --> 00:16:11,036 It'll be testicles or something again, won't it? 386 00:16:11,120 --> 00:16:13,156 KLAXON SOUNDS 387 00:16:13,240 --> 00:16:15,196 LAUGHTER 388 00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:17,276 Yeah, that wouldn't work at all, if...No. 389 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:20,836 If you had big testicles, that would be like bongos going down the track. 390 00:16:20,920 --> 00:16:22,316 Yeah. It would be like that 391 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:24,236 executive toy, wouldn't it? When they... 392 00:16:24,320 --> 00:16:26,476 Yeah, true, and the jockey gets relaxed. 393 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:29,076 Yes. Yes, or if they swing up and hit you on the head, 394 00:16:29,160 --> 00:16:30,916 I mean none of it's... None of it's... 395 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,356 No, darling, not testicles. 396 00:16:32,440 --> 00:16:34,596 It's not that, OK, fine. Anybody else? Anybody? 397 00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:35,956 Lungs? Sort of capacity? Oh. 398 00:16:36,040 --> 00:16:37,916 It is sort of to do with lungs. It's... ED: Brain. 399 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:40,156 So it can outfox the rest of the competitors. 400 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:41,516 Takes the short cut round! 401 00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:43,996 It is to do with the size of the heart. Ah. 402 00:16:44,080 --> 00:16:45,996 So the way that gamblers used to predict... 403 00:16:46,080 --> 00:16:47,996 Are you... Do you follow the horses at all? 404 00:16:48,080 --> 00:16:49,196 Do you ever bet on the horses? 405 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,436 Your name's Gamble, that's why she's asking you.Yes. 406 00:16:51,520 --> 00:16:53,596 That was quite accusatory, "Do you follow horses?" 407 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,116 No, sorry. "No, I just leave them alone." 408 00:16:56,200 --> 00:16:59,156 Well, I love a bit of a gamble, but I don't know anything about it. 409 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:01,356 But it used to be whether the horse was from good stock, 410 00:17:01,440 --> 00:17:02,956 so whether the parents or the siblings 411 00:17:03,040 --> 00:17:04,196 had won lots and lots of races - 412 00:17:04,280 --> 00:17:05,796 but, in fact, they did some analysis. 413 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,636 There's a man called Jeff Seder, he's a racehorse analyst. 414 00:17:08,720 --> 00:17:11,036 So he collected lots of data from young racehorses 415 00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:12,876 and about how many races they had won, 416 00:17:12,960 --> 00:17:17,196 and the size of the left ventricle was the most telling physical trait. 417 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,956 So the left ventricle is obviously the bit 418 00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,196 that pumps oxygen back out into the body, right? Oh. 419 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:24,196 Right ventricle puts it back into the lungs, 420 00:17:24,280 --> 00:17:25,636 but then pumps it out into the body. 421 00:17:25,720 --> 00:17:27,396 And the size was the most critical thing. 422 00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:29,716 So he examined them all using ultrasound. 423 00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,716 Not surgery, because that would be... Yes. 424 00:17:31,800 --> 00:17:35,036 That would be... "This one was great!"Yeah. 425 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:36,836 "He would have been really fast!" 426 00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,196 And it led him to predict 427 00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:40,396 the greatness of a horse called American Pharoah. 428 00:17:40,480 --> 00:17:43,836 It was an extraordinary horse, went on to win the 2015 Triple Crown, 429 00:17:43,920 --> 00:17:46,996 which is a sort of Grand Slam of racehorsing success. 430 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:48,596 So this is American Pharoah. 431 00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:50,916 And there was also a famous racehorse called Phar Lap, 432 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,956 he was a sort of national celebrity in Australia 433 00:17:53,040 --> 00:17:54,276 during the Great Depression. 434 00:17:54,360 --> 00:17:56,396 And it was discovered he had a heart 435 00:17:56,480 --> 00:17:59,036 that was twice the size of an average horse. 436 00:17:59,120 --> 00:18:02,716 In fact, that heart is now displayed in the National Museum of Australia. 437 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,876 I do hope they have other things, as well, because... 438 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,956 It just doesn't... 439 00:18:07,040 --> 00:18:10,516 The most successful racehorses are the ones with the biggest hearts. 440 00:18:10,600 --> 00:18:15,636 When the ravens leave the Tower of London, where do they go? 441 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,276 They're not allowed to leave, are they? 442 00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:20,116 The throw of the monarchy, or... I think something horrible happens. 443 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,996 Yeah, is it kingdom of rule? Well, it's a myth. 444 00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,516 So the notion is that they've consistently lived at the Tower 445 00:18:24,600 --> 00:18:25,716 since the reign of Charles II 446 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:29,836 and that he was warned the Crown would fall if the ravens ever left. 447 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:33,636 In fact, the earliest record that we can find of ravens at the Tower 448 00:18:33,720 --> 00:18:35,356 only goes back as far as 1895, 449 00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:38,756 and probably it was to do with the sort of raven craze 450 00:18:38,840 --> 00:18:42,716 that followed Edgar Allen Poe's famous poem in the 1850s, 451 00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:47,116 and we can't find any evidence of them being further back than that. 452 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:50,076 Really?So usually there are six ravens, right, in the Tower, 453 00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,196 and they get... They get raw meat and dead mice. 454 00:18:52,280 --> 00:18:54,716 Special treat, biscuits soaked in blood. Anybody? 455 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,236 There was one called George who was a repeat offender, 456 00:18:58,320 --> 00:19:02,396 and in 1981 he disappeared but was recaptured at the local pub 457 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:04,196 and made to return to duty. 458 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,196 But his bad behaviour continued and eventually he was retired. 459 00:19:07,280 --> 00:19:10,956 The Tower announced on Saturday 13th September, 1986, 460 00:19:11,040 --> 00:19:13,156 "Raven George, enlisted 1975, 461 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:19,436 "was posted to The Welsh Mountain Zoo, conduct unsatisfactory." 462 00:19:19,520 --> 00:19:20,996 They posted him?! 463 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,716 Died in the envelope on the way there. 464 00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:25,596 But he's not the only raven to have gone AWOL. 465 00:19:25,680 --> 00:19:27,836 There are wonderful stories that Christopher Skaife, 466 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:30,196 current Ravenmaster of the Tower, recounts in his book, 467 00:19:30,280 --> 00:19:32,916 The Ravenmaster: My Life with the Ravens at the Tower of London. 468 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:36,236 And he talks about how raven Munin escaped in 2010, 469 00:19:36,320 --> 00:19:38,116 but you don't need me to tell you about that, 470 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:39,396 because he is here himself. 471 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:42,956 Ravenmaster, welcome to the show. Thank you so much for coming. 472 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:45,956 Tell me about Munin's escape, what happened? 473 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:49,156 Hmm, I was a little bit worse for wear one morning, 474 00:19:49,240 --> 00:19:51,316 when I was getting the ravens up. 475 00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:54,556 And it was at a time when I was going through 476 00:19:54,640 --> 00:20:00,436 some minimum wing trimming and Munin herself wasn't trimmed-up very much, 477 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:04,116 and when I opened up the enclosure, she got out and flew off. 478 00:20:04,200 --> 00:20:05,756 And was it OK? 479 00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,076 No.No. 480 00:20:08,160 --> 00:20:11,356 No, she flew off and she disappeared for seven days. 481 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:15,356 She was eventually found in Greenwich on the Royal Observatory. 482 00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:16,916 MAGGIE: Astronomy.Yeah. 483 00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,836 Yeah. 484 00:20:18,920 --> 00:20:20,996 And did she come back then? Did you take her back? 485 00:20:21,080 --> 00:20:25,316 Well, she did eventually, she was caught by a member of the public 486 00:20:25,400 --> 00:20:29,716 and eventually returned back to the Tower of London under an ASBO, 487 00:20:29,800 --> 00:20:32,276 and that's where she spent the rest of her life. 488 00:20:32,360 --> 00:20:34,880 Is it true that ravens play KerPlunk? 489 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,360 Yes. 490 00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,156 But not with plastic straws. 491 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:44,076 I use spaghetti straws, because it's obviously better for them.Yeah. 492 00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:46,836 And, in fact, Munin was very, very good at it, 493 00:20:46,920 --> 00:20:49,916 it would take her about 45 seconds or so to get the mouse out, 494 00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,516 with going around and pulling out all the spaghetti. 495 00:20:52,600 --> 00:20:54,156 And did you use a real mouse? 496 00:20:54,240 --> 00:20:55,276 Yes, I did, yes. 497 00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:58,076 OK, moving on. With very small pants. 498 00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:00,636 TOM: Very small pants.! Well, because there are sort of... 499 00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,836 There are ravens, there are crows and what's the other one? 500 00:21:03,920 --> 00:21:05,036 Rooks. Rooks. Rooks, yes. 501 00:21:05,120 --> 00:21:07,596 And I don't know how to tell the difference between them. 502 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,796 Well, they're different species, really. 503 00:21:09,880 --> 00:21:12,116 A raven happens to be about twice the size of a crow, 504 00:21:12,200 --> 00:21:14,516 so it's like the daddy of them, all the birds, really, 505 00:21:14,600 --> 00:21:15,756 and the most intelligent. 506 00:21:15,840 --> 00:21:18,316 And they have excellent memories, do they not? Is that right? 507 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:20,796 They do, they remember for life, yes. 508 00:21:20,880 --> 00:21:22,756 For good and bad reasons, as well. 509 00:21:22,840 --> 00:21:25,796 Some of them like me, some of them, like Munin, 510 00:21:25,880 --> 00:21:28,436 who I chased around Greenwich, didn't. 511 00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:30,516 Now, we've talked about having a very good memory, 512 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,716 so here's the thing, you were supposed to be on the show 513 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,556 before we had lockdown. I was. 514 00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,116 And you were supposed to be here on your wedding anniversary. 515 00:21:37,200 --> 00:21:39,756 I was.So we were very excited about this, 516 00:21:39,840 --> 00:21:41,556 and you've got your wife Jasmine with you. 517 00:21:41,640 --> 00:21:43,956 Hello, Jaz, welcome to the show. How many years is it? 32. 518 00:21:44,040 --> 00:21:45,156 32, wow, that's fantastic. 519 00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:48,276 So, anyway, because you were coming in on your wedding anniversary 520 00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:51,516 and you were both going to be here, we thought we'd get you a cake. 521 00:21:51,600 --> 00:21:54,756 So we are now here, finally doing this show, five months later, 522 00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:56,476 we found the cake, it was still backstage. 523 00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:58,996 TOM: Mm, delicious! CHRISTOPHER SKAIFE: Lovely. Yum-yum. 524 00:21:59,080 --> 00:22:02,276 The cake is there, shaped like your hat. 525 00:22:02,360 --> 00:22:04,120 It was a light sponge. 526 00:22:06,520 --> 00:22:08,596 We're going to get Tom to decide later on. 527 00:22:08,680 --> 00:22:10,276 I'll judge it, yes. 528 00:22:10,360 --> 00:22:12,836 I feel like it might be quite a heavy sponge now. Yes. 529 00:22:12,920 --> 00:22:16,796 I think the ravens might need it soaked in blood. 530 00:22:16,880 --> 00:22:19,356 But thank you both very much for coming in. How fantastic. 531 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,956 Absolute pleasure, thank you for having us.It's lovely. 532 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:25,076 APPLAUSE 533 00:22:25,160 --> 00:22:29,316 Raven George was dismissed for being stark raven mad. 534 00:22:29,400 --> 00:22:34,796 Now, what's the most reliable way to recognise a rattlesnake? Oh... 535 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:36,116 FROG CROAKS Go for it, Ed. 536 00:22:36,200 --> 00:22:37,796 Its rattle.Yay! 537 00:22:37,880 --> 00:22:41,160 KLAXON SOUNDS 538 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:43,836 No. And why not? 539 00:22:43,920 --> 00:22:45,156 They're all the same? 540 00:22:45,240 --> 00:22:46,556 No, no, they're not all the same. 541 00:22:46,640 --> 00:22:48,916 Not all rattlesnakes rattle... 542 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:50,596 Ooh...is the problem. 543 00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,076 Wouldn't that be annoying if you were a rattlesnake 544 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:56,036 and you didn't rattle? Yeah. One thing! 545 00:22:56,120 --> 00:22:58,676 None of the other rattlesnakes would hang out with them. 546 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,356 No, you would just be embarrassed, wouldn't you? Yeah. Yeah. 547 00:23:01,440 --> 00:23:03,996 The Santa Catalina rattlesnake, it's... 548 00:23:04,080 --> 00:23:06,956 Santa Catalina is an island off the coast of southern California, 549 00:23:07,040 --> 00:23:09,276 doesn't have a rattle at all. And nobody knows why. 550 00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:11,116 Maybe because it lives on an island 551 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,596 where there aren't any large-hoofed mammals, 552 00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:16,236 there's very few humans that might stumble on it. 553 00:23:16,320 --> 00:23:17,716 It basically doesn't need one. 554 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:20,316 So what makes it a rattlesnake? Yeah. It's just a snake. 555 00:23:20,400 --> 00:23:22,356 No, you can tell a rattlesnake by its head, 556 00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,716 by its triangular head and its slitty eyes and so on. 557 00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:26,716 It just doesn't have this particular thing. 558 00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:29,116 Let's have a quick look at one that does have a rattle. 559 00:23:29,200 --> 00:23:31,436 RATTLE HISSES That'swhat the rattle sounds like. 560 00:23:31,520 --> 00:23:34,208 But this is obviously not living in Santa Catalina. 561 00:23:34,293 --> 00:23:36,185 It is quite distinctive, you'd run away from that. 562 00:23:36,270 --> 00:23:37,796 You would, yeah. I wouldn't like that. 563 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:40,756 So, the other possibility is, if it doesn't have a rattle, 564 00:23:40,840 --> 00:23:42,596 is that it's a baby rattlesnake. 565 00:23:42,680 --> 00:23:44,316 Oh.Yes. 566 00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:46,436 They're born with venom but without the rattle. 567 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:50,356 So the bit that we saw there is a segment of, again, keratin, 568 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:52,756 and those grow bit by bit. 569 00:23:52,840 --> 00:23:56,276 It sheds its skin, when it's young, every few weeks, 570 00:23:56,360 --> 00:23:59,076 and then each time a new segment of this keratin is added. 571 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,236 And the snake needs at least two or three of those, 572 00:24:01,320 --> 00:24:03,916 if you imagine, in order to make that distinct rattling sound. 573 00:24:04,000 --> 00:24:05,676 And it comes from those keratin segments 574 00:24:05,760 --> 00:24:07,036 knocking against each other. 575 00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:09,396 Weird, because if you're a human and you've got a rattle, 576 00:24:09,480 --> 00:24:10,556 you're definitely a baby. 577 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:12,276 Yes, I know! Opposite. 578 00:24:12,360 --> 00:24:14,956 And also an adult could lose the rattle through injury 579 00:24:15,040 --> 00:24:17,596 or through, you know, just old age, bloody annoying. 580 00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:18,956 Oh, that's upsetting for them. 581 00:24:19,040 --> 00:24:21,036 If you have a look at the one coming towards you, 582 00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:23,316 you can see it's distinctive, even without the rattle. 583 00:24:23,400 --> 00:24:24,636 You can see the triangular head 584 00:24:24,720 --> 00:24:26,356 and it's got these rather... MAGGIE: Oh! 585 00:24:26,440 --> 00:24:29,276 Yeah, I mean, it's slightly creepy, isn't it? Sorry.Yeah. 586 00:24:29,360 --> 00:24:30,596 Oh, you don't like it, Tom? 587 00:24:30,680 --> 00:24:33,036 I do have a pathological fear of all snakes, 588 00:24:33,120 --> 00:24:36,316 so it's no big deal that there's a massive one on the screen, 589 00:24:36,400 --> 00:24:38,036 but I'm not going to look at it. 590 00:24:38,120 --> 00:24:39,396 Heading straight towards you. 591 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,596 I just might not look up at that, if that's all right. 592 00:24:41,680 --> 00:24:43,756 Tom, it's gone, Tom, it's gone, don't worry mate. 593 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,840 Tom, you're all right Tom. Tom, you're fine. 594 00:24:46,925 --> 00:24:49,254 Yeah, just look up now. No! You're all horrible! 595 00:24:49,339 --> 00:24:50,836 There's not one coming in, though, is there? 596 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:52,796 It's not like, "Oh, we've got one here now"? 597 00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,076 Here's one we made earlier. We've got a cake. 598 00:24:55,160 --> 00:24:57,236 I don't want to run all the way home. And a cake. 599 00:24:57,320 --> 00:24:59,276 And now the keeper of rattlesnakes. The cake! 600 00:24:59,360 --> 00:25:02,476 If you are bitten by a snake, what should you do? 601 00:25:02,560 --> 00:25:05,516 Oh, I'd just die. I would just die. No, you probably wouldn't, darling. 602 00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:07,396 Really? Would I not? Probably not, no. 603 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:08,836 In the United States, 604 00:25:08,920 --> 00:25:10,876 about 9,000 people a year are bitten by a snake, 605 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:13,316 and about five die. So statistically you're unlikely to. 606 00:25:13,400 --> 00:25:14,716 You're supposed to... Wee on it. 607 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,316 Yeah, you get someone to wee on it. Are you confusing jellyfish? 608 00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:21,156 Spreads quickly.ED: I just think it's always worth a go. 609 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:23,436 Stung by anything, wee on it. Have a quick wee on it. 610 00:25:23,520 --> 00:25:25,356 And then you get a cowboy from a film 611 00:25:25,440 --> 00:25:27,396 to suck out the venom and spit it out. 612 00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,716 Oh, is that what it was? Yeah, yeah. Oh. 613 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,036 I always get those two muddled. 614 00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:33,316 Do you wee on it or do you suck out the venom?Yes, I know. 615 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,276 Standing there having a debate with yourself, trying to work it out. 616 00:25:36,360 --> 00:25:39,196 Ooh! Just try it all. Have a wee, have a suck, why not? 617 00:25:39,280 --> 00:25:42,396 TOM: "Excuse me, cowboy, would you mind having a wee or a suck? 618 00:25:42,480 --> 00:25:43,716 "I've been bitten by a snake. 619 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:44,996 "No, it's not a chat-up line." 620 00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:46,796 We'll get you to do the voice-over, Sandi. 621 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:49,516 Yeah, I was, "At this point... 622 00:25:49,600 --> 00:25:51,600 "..a large handsome cowboy." 623 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:54,556 Call an ambulance, you fools! 624 00:25:54,640 --> 00:25:55,756 Don't... Oh. 625 00:25:55,840 --> 00:25:58,116 In America?! No, thanks, I can't afford that! 626 00:25:58,200 --> 00:25:59,560 Just suck it! 627 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,276 Stay calm, basically. You don't want to raise your heart rate. 628 00:26:04,360 --> 00:26:05,876 "Stay calm, you're dying!" Yeah. 629 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:08,276 You've got about... About 12 hours to 18 hours 630 00:26:08,360 --> 00:26:09,836 before it turns too serious. 631 00:26:09,920 --> 00:26:11,756 You'vegot time to go, and the main thing is, 632 00:26:11,840 --> 00:26:13,836 if it's on a limb, apply some pressure to the bite. 633 00:26:13,920 --> 00:26:15,516 You don't want it spreading through you, 634 00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,716 but certainly you don't want to. Like a tourniquet? 635 00:26:17,800 --> 00:26:19,196 You certainly don't want to suck it, 636 00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:20,676 because you'll get it in your mouth, 637 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:22,836 and you might have a cut in your mouth and die that way. 638 00:26:22,920 --> 00:26:25,316 I think that's a terrible idea. Wouldn't that be terrible? 639 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:29,876 Now, why did the Japanese import so many raccoons? 640 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,356 Thank God we're talking about something else - I can look up! 641 00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:33,676 You're all right with racoons? 642 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,516 Oh, God! 643 00:26:35,600 --> 00:26:38,316 The only thing I can't stand more than rattlesnakes 644 00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:39,636 are racoons! 645 00:26:39,720 --> 00:26:43,516 So, why did the Japanese import loads and loads and loads of them? 646 00:26:43,600 --> 00:26:46,076 Must be something to do with some problem that they had, 647 00:26:46,160 --> 00:26:47,596 that a raccoon could help with. 648 00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:48,836 A computer virus? 649 00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:52,156 No, it all goes back... It all goes back to a single raccoon. 650 00:26:52,240 --> 00:26:54,796 There was a raccoon called Rascal the Raccoon, 651 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:56,956 and it was found and raised by author Sterling North 652 00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:59,396 when he was a child, and he wrote a book about it 653 00:26:59,480 --> 00:27:02,156 and it was called Rascal: A Memoir of a Better Era. 654 00:27:02,240 --> 00:27:04,956 Back in 1963, Disney made a film of it, 655 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:08,076 and then in 1977 it was released in Japan 656 00:27:08,160 --> 00:27:09,676 as an animated television series. 657 00:27:09,760 --> 00:27:11,876 I have to say, the Japanese animated version 658 00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,556 looks less raccoon-like to me... Oh. Yeah, it's a cat. 659 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:16,676 It's got a bottle! It's a Pokemon, yeah. 660 00:27:16,760 --> 00:27:19,236 Yeah. It's a drinker - it's a big drinker. 661 00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:22,316 But it was incredibly popular, so Japanese families thought, 662 00:27:22,400 --> 00:27:25,116 let's import North American raccoons and have them as pets. 663 00:27:25,200 --> 00:27:28,316 Clearly, they had not reached the end of the series beforehand, 664 00:27:28,400 --> 00:27:30,996 or they would have realised this is a terrible, terrible mistake. 665 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:34,156 Rascal the Raccoon ends up released into the wild 666 00:27:34,240 --> 00:27:36,476 because they make terrible pets. 667 00:27:36,560 --> 00:27:39,516 They are unbelievably destructive and vicious. 668 00:27:39,600 --> 00:27:42,396 I understand they're quite violent...Quitevicious, yes. 669 00:27:42,480 --> 00:27:46,116 But by then, over 1,500 raccoons a year had been brought into Japan, 670 00:27:46,200 --> 00:27:48,116 until they eventually banned them. 671 00:27:48,200 --> 00:27:50,716 And they're not suited to domestic life at all. 672 00:27:50,800 --> 00:27:54,156 They released them into the wild in droves, and they're now pests. 673 00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:55,956 About 80% of all temples in Japan 674 00:27:56,040 --> 00:27:58,836 have suffered raccoon-related damage. 675 00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:01,436 The clue was there when he was called Rascal. 676 00:28:01,520 --> 00:28:04,556 Ah, yes. I don't know how that translates in Japanese. 677 00:28:04,640 --> 00:28:06,556 Oh, maybe it means adorable. Cute. 678 00:28:06,640 --> 00:28:09,796 The Japanese name for them is "araiguma", 679 00:28:09,880 --> 00:28:11,316 which means "washing bear", 680 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,476 and it's thought that they wash their food, 681 00:28:13,560 --> 00:28:15,156 because they so often dip it in water 682 00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:17,756 and roll it around in these incredibly dextrous hands. 683 00:28:17,840 --> 00:28:20,436 So they have an incredible sense of touch, 684 00:28:20,520 --> 00:28:23,756 and two thirds of their sensory data comes from touch, 685 00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:26,196 and water is thought to help this tactile ability 686 00:28:26,280 --> 00:28:28,756 to retrieve the information that they're holding. 687 00:28:28,840 --> 00:28:30,356 Why do you think they have a mask? 688 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,516 Why do you think they have that thing around the eyes? 689 00:28:32,600 --> 00:28:34,676 Coronavirus. Yeah, to protect them, yeah. 690 00:28:34,760 --> 00:28:36,676 Yeah. Just, they have it on public transport. 691 00:28:36,760 --> 00:28:39,036 Yeah. They only wear it... Take it off when they get there. 692 00:28:39,120 --> 00:28:42,036 They take it off when they're just walking along. So responsible. Yeah. 693 00:28:42,120 --> 00:28:44,116 They knew about it before we did. Yeah. 694 00:28:44,200 --> 00:28:46,756 But it's on their eyes, rather than... Yeah, they got it wrong. 695 00:28:46,840 --> 00:28:49,556 That's why they're always washing their hands. 696 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:52,436 They've got an in and out... burrow. 697 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:53,716 Yeah! 698 00:28:53,800 --> 00:28:55,760 One way. It's one way. 699 00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:00,836 Any thoughts? Dark mask around the eyes. 700 00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:02,996 There's something camouflagy about it. 701 00:29:03,080 --> 00:29:05,196 Well, we're not really sure, but it may reduce glare. 702 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,036 Oh, they do that, the American footballers, don't they? 703 00:29:08,120 --> 00:29:10,556 They put dark...Yeah. Yeah. Yes. ..black under there. 704 00:29:10,640 --> 00:29:12,796 It reduces the glare from the floodlights. 705 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,156 I thought it was just to look mean. Yeah, I thought it was! 706 00:29:15,240 --> 00:29:18,636 "Grrr. "That sort of thing. Yeah! I think it has gone a bit war paint. 707 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:20,676 But that was the original idea. 708 00:29:20,760 --> 00:29:25,076 The Japanese do have a native population of raccoon dogs, 709 00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:28,556 which are totally unrelated to raccoons, despite their appearance. 710 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:30,396 And they call them tanuki. 711 00:29:30,480 --> 00:29:32,556 So the one on the right is a raccoon dog 712 00:29:32,640 --> 00:29:35,676 and the one on the left's a raccoon. They are not in any way related. 713 00:29:35,760 --> 00:29:37,876 They're very important in Japanese mythology. 714 00:29:37,960 --> 00:29:41,236 Sometimes outside shops, you see statues of raccoon dogs, 715 00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:44,356 and they... Here are your huge testicles, OK? 716 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:47,036 Not yours, sorry, I don't know why I... Hold on! 717 00:29:47,120 --> 00:29:49,516 I knew there was a reason I'd been booked for this! 718 00:29:49,600 --> 00:29:51,196 LAUGHTER 719 00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:53,116 Here are your huge testicles! 720 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:55,116 Ahh! 721 00:29:55,200 --> 00:29:56,676 Who ordered the huge testicles? 722 00:29:56,760 --> 00:30:01,356 What I meant was, huge testicles we talked about on horses. 723 00:30:01,440 --> 00:30:04,876 I can't sit comfortably any more, now you've said that! 724 00:30:04,960 --> 00:30:08,836 So these statues outside shops sport huge testicles, 725 00:30:08,920 --> 00:30:11,476 and... There we are. 726 00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:14,680 And... Unmistakably you, Ed. Yeah, there I am. 727 00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,436 There's a children's song and the song goes, 728 00:30:18,520 --> 00:30:20,356 I mean I'm translating roughly here, 729 00:30:20,440 --> 00:30:24,156 "Tan-tan, the tanuki's testicles ring, the wind has stopped blowing. 730 00:30:24,240 --> 00:30:26,036 "But still they swing-swing." 731 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:28,756 I mean, what child in the world doesn't want to... 732 00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:31,476 Who wouldn't love that? Lovely song. I know! 733 00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:34,676 "Swing, swing." Even with no breeze at all. 734 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:36,996 Keep on swinging! 735 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:38,516 Wafting in the wind. 736 00:30:38,600 --> 00:30:40,836 Those testicles are all the better for the fact they move 737 00:30:40,920 --> 00:30:42,236 when there's no wind. 738 00:30:42,320 --> 00:30:45,316 He doesn't look well, does he? He doesn't look well at all. 739 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:48,036 Constantly horrified by the size of his own testicles.Yeah. 740 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:50,316 Or just exhausted from dragging them around. 741 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:51,636 Argh! 742 00:30:51,720 --> 00:30:53,396 Right, moving on. 743 00:30:53,480 --> 00:30:56,836 Name a rock singer who doesn't have a scrotum. 744 00:30:56,920 --> 00:30:59,436 LAUGHTER 745 00:30:59,520 --> 00:31:03,036 Do you like the width and variety of the questions I'm asking? 746 00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:05,836 Yeah! I mean, when I said about the balls earlier on the horse, 747 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,556 everyone was like, "No! Don't be so disgusting! 748 00:31:08,640 --> 00:31:10,916 "Why are you obsessed with talking about scrotums?" 749 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:14,880 Every question! It's a reoccurring theme! Yes. 750 00:31:16,320 --> 00:31:19,236 Right. What are we going to do next year when it's the S series? 751 00:31:19,320 --> 00:31:22,076 We'll have no scrotums. No scrotums, you'll have run out of scrotums. 752 00:31:22,160 --> 00:31:24,436 Yes!Name a rock singer who doesn't have a scrotum. 753 00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:27,276 Well, Avril Lavigne, Pink? 754 00:31:27,360 --> 00:31:28,916 Yes, darling, quite right! 755 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:30,916 No boy comes up with this. 756 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:34,196 Debbie Harry, Janis Joplin, Stevie Nicks... 757 00:31:34,280 --> 00:31:37,636 It does sound like an interview question from 1960s Q magazine. 758 00:31:37,720 --> 00:31:41,236 "Go on, name one rock singer without a scrotum. Go on!" 759 00:31:41,320 --> 00:31:44,916 It isn't an actual rock singer, although it kind of is. 760 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,676 It's a creature called the rock hyrax, 761 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:49,116 also known as the rock rabbit. 762 00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:51,596 It's found in Africa and in the Middle East. 763 00:31:51,680 --> 00:31:55,676 So the male does not have a scrotum, it keeps its testes in its abdomen. 764 00:31:55,760 --> 00:31:58,156 What it does have is the most fascinating 765 00:31:58,240 --> 00:32:00,996 system of communication, which is communicating through singing. 766 00:32:01,080 --> 00:32:03,716 I'm not surprised, if it's balls are... It must be high pitched! 767 00:32:03,800 --> 00:32:06,040 "Aaah." There's a chorus there, isn't there?Yes! 768 00:32:07,480 --> 00:32:09,836 It's got about 30 syllables that it can do. 769 00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,076 Wails and chucks and snorts and squeaks and tweets. 770 00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,716 And it turns it into a song that can last several minutes. 771 00:32:14,800 --> 00:32:17,956 And it's a bit like bird song - it's a sort of form of self-advertising. 772 00:32:18,040 --> 00:32:21,196 So you can tell about its size, of its age, its social status, 773 00:32:21,280 --> 00:32:23,476 even its hormonal state, that kind of thing. 774 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,876 So we have a rock hyrax singing. 775 00:32:25,960 --> 00:32:27,996 Please do not think, as soon as you've heard this, 776 00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:29,836 you're going to rush out and get the album, 777 00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,556 it's on the edge of disappointing, just going to put it out there. 778 00:32:32,640 --> 00:32:34,156 OK, let's have a listen. 779 00:32:34,240 --> 00:32:36,080 SQUAWKING 780 00:32:43,080 --> 00:32:45,076 Andy Kershaw would play that... 781 00:32:45,160 --> 00:32:47,076 Yeah. ..on the radio. 782 00:32:47,160 --> 00:32:49,156 It's like something written by. 783 00:32:49,240 --> 00:32:50,956 "Now a new one from the rock hyrax." 784 00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:54,156 And he looks so grumpy. Yes, he does. 785 00:32:54,240 --> 00:32:58,236 I was sort of looking for something a bit more romantic, at least.Yeah. 786 00:32:58,320 --> 00:32:59,516 A bit more swingy. Yeah! 787 00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:02,356 That is all to do with having its bollocks stuck in its tummy. 788 00:33:02,440 --> 00:33:04,996 That's nothing to do with singing or its social status. 789 00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:08,116 Yeah, that's why he's so angry. That's, "I want a scrotum!" 790 00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:11,316 It could also be to do with its childhood, I think, 791 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,156 because baby hyraxes have to eat their parents' poo. 792 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:15,676 Which is, in the long... 793 00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:18,396 They don't have to, come on. Yes, they do have to, darling. 794 00:33:18,480 --> 00:33:21,316 They don't have the necessary bacteria to digest plant stuff, 795 00:33:21,400 --> 00:33:22,556 so, a bit like baby koalas, 796 00:33:22,640 --> 00:33:24,596 the solution is to eat the mother's faeces. 797 00:33:24,680 --> 00:33:26,356 There's got to be another solution. 798 00:33:26,440 --> 00:33:28,480 Get it while it's hot. 799 00:33:30,080 --> 00:33:31,636 Tuck in, kids. 800 00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:33,400 Eat that before it goes cold! 801 00:33:34,840 --> 00:33:36,636 So, a hyrax is about this big. 802 00:33:36,720 --> 00:33:39,676 About that big. And its poo is THIS big! 803 00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:42,956 What would you guess their closest relative to be? 804 00:33:43,040 --> 00:33:44,196 Meerkat. 805 00:33:44,280 --> 00:33:46,556 Yeah, you would think that, but it's not that. 806 00:33:46,640 --> 00:33:49,636 Well, it's not their parents, if they're making them do that.Yeah. 807 00:33:49,720 --> 00:33:52,556 That's upset you, hasn't it? Yeah! It's just not on.No. 808 00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,756 You'd think they could just have a yoghurt or something.Yeah. 809 00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:58,436 Yeah, something with friendly bacteria. Yeah! 810 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:00,796 Yeah, that would be much more civilised. 811 00:34:00,880 --> 00:34:03,476 The nearest relative to a hyrax? Pick an animal. 812 00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:06,036 Is it a dog? Mouse, rat, cat, dog, raccoon? 813 00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:07,156 Huge... Huge. 814 00:34:07,240 --> 00:34:09,596 Elephant?Elephant. Tiger? An elephant?! No, an elephant? 815 00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:12,956 Elephants and sea cows, or manatees. 816 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,636 They share a fairly recent common ancestor. 817 00:34:15,720 --> 00:34:17,676 This is going to come up in a couple of years' time. 818 00:34:17,760 --> 00:34:19,516 "When science got it wrong." Yes. 819 00:34:19,600 --> 00:34:21,436 LAUGHTER 820 00:34:21,520 --> 00:34:24,196 "Can you believe we ever thought these three things were related?" 821 00:34:24,280 --> 00:34:28,476 One geneticist, one wrong... Rogue geneticist. 822 00:34:28,560 --> 00:34:29,916 One drunk geneticist... 823 00:34:30,000 --> 00:34:33,756 Yeah! "I'll have that one, that one and that one!" 824 00:34:33,840 --> 00:34:36,516 That seems right...Can I just say that I think the Elves 825 00:34:36,600 --> 00:34:39,356 were a little bit drunk because I said what was the common ancestor 826 00:34:39,440 --> 00:34:41,916 and they did a picture for me. Just have a look at this. 827 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,796 This is their view of what the common ancestor looked like. 828 00:34:44,880 --> 00:34:46,396 LAUGHTER 829 00:34:46,480 --> 00:34:50,236 Elephants and hyraxes have certain characteristics which they share. 830 00:34:50,320 --> 00:34:51,836 So elephants don't have scrotums - 831 00:34:51,920 --> 00:34:54,756 they keep their testes near their abdominal cavity, near the kidneys. 832 00:34:54,840 --> 00:34:57,316 I thought you were going to say in a suitcase, or something. 833 00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,676 I thought they are meant to have their scrotums outside, 834 00:34:59,760 --> 00:35:01,236 to keep the testes cooler, 835 00:35:01,320 --> 00:35:03,636 because otherwise the sperm doesn't produce properly. 836 00:35:03,720 --> 00:35:06,356 Humans keep them outside for that reason, but elephants don't. Oh. 837 00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,796 Both have tusks, and instead of claws, 838 00:35:08,880 --> 00:35:11,836 they have the same flattened hoof-like nails that elephants do. 839 00:35:11,920 --> 00:35:15,276 So if you look at the feet of the hyrax, they're sort of sweet... 840 00:35:15,360 --> 00:35:17,356 They look like they've got slippers on.Yes! 841 00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:19,716 Actually, look at the ends of the flippers on the manatee, 842 00:35:19,800 --> 00:35:22,356 or the dugong. Yes.It has a similar sort of look to it, doesn't it? 843 00:35:22,440 --> 00:35:24,076 Yes.And both female hyraxes 844 00:35:24,160 --> 00:35:26,956 and female elephants have a pair of teats near their armpits. 845 00:35:27,040 --> 00:35:30,440 I beg your pardon? I know, it's not pleasant, is it? 846 00:35:31,960 --> 00:35:34,000 "Tuck in kids, help yourselves!" 847 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:37,076 After you've had your shit! 848 00:35:37,160 --> 00:35:40,236 Yeah! "Eat your shit first!" 849 00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,560 Then you can have milk. 850 00:35:43,960 --> 00:35:47,516 Now it's time for the relentless rat-race that is General Ignorance, 851 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:49,316 so fingers on buzzers please. Ooh. 852 00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:53,596 What does Allen's swamp monkey use its tail for? 853 00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:55,320 I'm not answering that. 854 00:35:56,920 --> 00:35:58,556 Well, that would be good if... 855 00:35:58,640 --> 00:36:00,836 Dangling from trees. Dangling from trees? 856 00:36:00,920 --> 00:36:02,760 KLAXON SOUNDS 857 00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:07,916 No. So, it can't swing from trees or dangle from trees. 858 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:09,636 Why not? It's a fish. 859 00:36:09,720 --> 00:36:12,756 There's a picture of it, right in front of you! 860 00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:16,516 It's in the water, could be a fish. It's behaving like a fish! 861 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:19,196 The other one was like an elephant. Why is that not a fish?! 862 00:36:19,280 --> 00:36:20,596 Yes. Er, no... 863 00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:23,556 Its tail is not prehensile - it's not able to grasp anything. 864 00:36:23,640 --> 00:36:25,476 So the tail would need to be prehensile 865 00:36:25,560 --> 00:36:27,156 if you're going to swing through a tree. 866 00:36:27,240 --> 00:36:28,556 So there are different monkeys. 867 00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:30,956 There are Old World monkeys and New World monkeys, 868 00:36:31,040 --> 00:36:33,316 and the swamp monkey is an Old World monkey, 869 00:36:33,400 --> 00:36:35,196 so, native to Africa and Asia. 870 00:36:35,280 --> 00:36:38,116 And the New World monkeys are in the Americas. 871 00:36:38,200 --> 00:36:40,676 Most Old World monkeys do have tails, 872 00:36:40,760 --> 00:36:43,476 but the tail is not prehensile - it's mainly for balance. 873 00:36:43,560 --> 00:36:45,796 So only New World monkeys, the ones from the Americas, 874 00:36:45,880 --> 00:36:47,916 have prehensile tails and can grab things 875 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:49,396 and swing through the trees. 876 00:36:49,480 --> 00:36:52,596 In fact, we can have a look at a New World monkey. 877 00:36:52,680 --> 00:36:54,236 There we are. Ah! 878 00:36:54,320 --> 00:36:56,956 Look at that, it's astonishing, isn't it? Yeah. 879 00:36:57,040 --> 00:37:00,036 So monkeys from the Americas can do that, but African monkeys can't? 880 00:37:00,120 --> 00:37:03,596 No, they don't have that ability with the tail, to grab things. 881 00:37:03,680 --> 00:37:06,556 There are lots of creatures that do have prehensile tails, so... 882 00:37:06,640 --> 00:37:07,916 But why? Why, Ed? 883 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,196 Why not give them that gift? I don't know. 884 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:13,316 They can't hang from... I could have sworn I've seen them doing that. 885 00:37:13,400 --> 00:37:14,916 You think it's a conspiracy? 886 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,636 Well, I'm trying to think of the monkeys in London Zoo. 887 00:37:17,720 --> 00:37:20,476 They're neither here nor there. They're in London. 888 00:37:20,560 --> 00:37:23,156 They're not... Yeah, they're... They're London monkeys, right? 889 00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:25,596 They're the London monkeys. Yes. They're big city monkeys. 890 00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:27,236 Yeah, they're just very chilled. 891 00:37:27,320 --> 00:37:29,640 Yeah. They've got controlled parking zones. 892 00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:33,836 There are lots of creatures with prehensile tails. 893 00:37:33,920 --> 00:37:36,436 There's seahorses and anteaters, harvest mice, 894 00:37:36,520 --> 00:37:38,036 the tree pangolin. 895 00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:40,396 And there are also creatures with extraordinary things. 896 00:37:40,480 --> 00:37:42,236 So creatures with prehensile lips. 897 00:37:42,320 --> 00:37:43,876 Rhinos have that. 898 00:37:43,960 --> 00:37:46,676 Harvest mice have the prehensile tail. 899 00:37:46,760 --> 00:37:49,956 Cats have prehensile claws, so they can grab and grasp things. 900 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:52,476 The giraffe, if you have a look, has got a prehensile tongue. 901 00:37:52,560 --> 00:37:54,036 Oh, yes. Yes! 902 00:37:54,120 --> 00:37:55,316 But most extraordinary, 903 00:37:55,400 --> 00:37:57,436 and I'm not going to look at Ed as I say this, 904 00:37:57,520 --> 00:38:00,036 tapirs have prehensile penises. 905 00:38:00,120 --> 00:38:02,356 Yes, I knew someone was going to have one! Ed. 906 00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:04,116 Me too. There's no way... 907 00:38:04,200 --> 00:38:06,796 No way, with all the evolution that's gone on, 908 00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:08,560 someone was going to get one. 909 00:38:10,320 --> 00:38:12,436 As soon as we finish here, I'm going to swing home. 910 00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:14,076 What do they do with it? 911 00:38:14,160 --> 00:38:16,756 Yeah, why did that make them survive?They stay... 912 00:38:16,840 --> 00:38:20,000 When you're watching the telly and you can't reach the snacks! 913 00:38:21,600 --> 00:38:23,076 Before the remote was invented. 914 00:38:23,160 --> 00:38:25,396 It keeps them coupled. 915 00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,436 Put the Nachos a bit nearer. Oh, I see! It keeps them coupled?Yeah. 916 00:38:28,520 --> 00:38:30,156 Yeah. Like barbs on foxes. 917 00:38:30,240 --> 00:38:32,436 Yes, or the pig, which has a corkscrew penis. 918 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:34,156 There's a... I know. 919 00:38:34,240 --> 00:38:36,796 Yeah, you have to get one pig and then spin the other pig into it. 920 00:38:36,880 --> 00:38:39,356 Yes!I think even worse than that, well, for me anyway, 921 00:38:39,440 --> 00:38:42,796 the leaf beetle larvae, they have prehensile anuses, OK? 922 00:38:42,880 --> 00:38:46,476 It's like a sort of anal turret, and what they can do is, 923 00:38:46,560 --> 00:38:49,676 they can build shields out of poo on their backs. 924 00:38:49,760 --> 00:38:52,516 And they place each piece of poo on their backs 925 00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:55,396 and it becomes this sort of growing structure, 926 00:38:55,480 --> 00:38:57,596 and they can even move it slightly. 927 00:38:57,680 --> 00:39:00,156 I'm just pleased for them that they don't know that's weird. 928 00:39:00,240 --> 00:39:03,796 Yeah. If they had any sort of consciousness 929 00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:06,156 that they were shitting on their own backs, 930 00:39:06,240 --> 00:39:07,956 and nobody else was doing that... 931 00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:09,076 Yeah! 932 00:39:09,160 --> 00:39:12,716 "I've got an anal turret. Why? I could have had a prehensile cock!" 933 00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:15,756 I could have had massive bollocks like Ed Gamble! 934 00:39:15,840 --> 00:39:17,756 Right, moving on. 935 00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:21,320 What should you call this if you are in Wales? 936 00:39:22,640 --> 00:39:23,756 FROG CROAKS 937 00:39:23,840 --> 00:39:25,276 Yes, Ed? Rarebit. 938 00:39:25,360 --> 00:39:27,320 KLAXON SOUNDS 939 00:39:31,160 --> 00:39:32,716 Cheese on toast. Yeah. 940 00:39:32,800 --> 00:39:35,076 No, so it's been around since the 1500s, 941 00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:38,556 but the idea of calling it Welsh rarebit comes in in 1785. 942 00:39:38,640 --> 00:39:42,796 It's a corruption of Welsh rabbit, which you find much earlier. 943 00:39:42,880 --> 00:39:44,476 You find that in 1725. 944 00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:48,116 So, according to Fowler's English Usage, in 1926, 945 00:39:48,200 --> 00:39:50,396 "Welsh rabbit is amusing and right. 946 00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:52,396 "Welsh rarebit is stupid and wrong." 947 00:39:52,480 --> 00:39:56,116 I like a dictionary that just tells you straight out how things are. 948 00:39:56,200 --> 00:39:58,240 Why have you put up a picture of the moon? 949 00:39:59,520 --> 00:40:02,036 Yes, that's a large picture of the moon. 950 00:40:02,120 --> 00:40:04,796 But it's possible they were making a joke at the Welsh's expense, 951 00:40:04,880 --> 00:40:06,916 which is mean, isn't it? Oh, that is mean. 952 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:08,476 So I've been asking for Welsh rarebit 953 00:40:08,560 --> 00:40:10,316 and it turns out I've been offensive, right? 954 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:13,636 Offensive, yeah. To say "Welsh" in the Middle Ages was a slur - 955 00:40:13,720 --> 00:40:16,036 it sort of meant fake or poor or foreign, 956 00:40:16,120 --> 00:40:18,076 and there were lots of stereotypical jokes 957 00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:19,476 about the Welsh love of cheese. 958 00:40:19,560 --> 00:40:22,276 Right, speaking of rabbits, let's go back to the moon. 959 00:40:22,360 --> 00:40:26,556 Can you name a star that is the same size as the new moon? 960 00:40:26,640 --> 00:40:28,716 A star that is the same size? 961 00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:31,076 Same size as the new moon. 962 00:40:31,160 --> 00:40:33,116 It's a slightly trick question. 963 00:40:33,200 --> 00:40:34,796 Yes. 964 00:40:34,880 --> 00:40:36,676 Well, the stars are massive. 965 00:40:36,760 --> 00:40:38,076 OK. 966 00:40:38,160 --> 00:40:40,796 At the time of recording, the planet Earth has acquired a new moon. 967 00:40:40,880 --> 00:40:43,396 It's a tiny asteroid, which we think has been circling 968 00:40:43,480 --> 00:40:44,796 the Earth for about three years. 969 00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:46,436 It's known as 2020 CD3, 970 00:40:46,520 --> 00:40:49,716 and it's somewhere between 1.9m and 3.5m in diameter. 971 00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:51,996 So it's about the same size as Richard Osman, 972 00:40:52,080 --> 00:40:54,676 this, this... Object. 973 00:40:54,760 --> 00:40:57,116 That's our star, that's our star, that I was trying to say. 974 00:40:57,200 --> 00:40:59,156 Good idea for what to do with Richard Osman. 975 00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:01,036 A star that is the same size as the new moon - 976 00:41:01,120 --> 00:41:03,036 has this not made space news, this? 977 00:41:03,120 --> 00:41:05,036 Well, I think one of the challenges 978 00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:07,196 is what do you define as a moon? Ah, OK. 979 00:41:07,280 --> 00:41:10,516 We've had lots of things on this show, when we... 980 00:41:10,600 --> 00:41:12,636 Oh, we've had so many moons, honestly. 981 00:41:12,720 --> 00:41:15,156 Yes, right. How many moons would you say the Earth has? 982 00:41:15,240 --> 00:41:17,316 And we have variously said there are two, 983 00:41:17,400 --> 00:41:21,316 which include Cruithne, a co-orbital body of the sun. 984 00:41:21,400 --> 00:41:24,036 Yes. I can remember Rich Hall sitting in that very chair saying, 985 00:41:24,120 --> 00:41:26,356 "It's called THE moon."That's it! 986 00:41:26,440 --> 00:41:30,076 We've had many moons, as an answer, because of the small asteroids. 987 00:41:30,160 --> 00:41:32,636 Yes.And we've had no moons at all, because, in fact, 988 00:41:32,720 --> 00:41:34,516 the moon and the Earth are twin planets. 989 00:41:34,600 --> 00:41:37,236 Yeah, because the moon is so large, it could be like a binary system, 990 00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,396 and not actually sort of seen as a separate...Right. 991 00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:41,316 So if we were to ask the question, how many moons 992 00:41:41,400 --> 00:41:43,796 would you say the Earth has, what would your answer be? 993 00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:45,436 Yes, as a self-certified lunatic, 994 00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:48,676 I'll say there's only one moon and it's the best. Boom! 995 00:41:48,760 --> 00:41:49,956 Yeah, yeah. I'm with that. 996 00:41:50,040 --> 00:41:52,236 What do you think Ed? I love that answer. Yeah, one moon. 997 00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,116 Yeah. Yeah.Yeah, we don't want to muck about. 998 00:41:54,200 --> 00:41:55,356 I know. One moon and one Osman. 999 00:41:55,440 --> 00:41:57,196 You could call anything a moon, 1000 00:41:57,280 --> 00:41:59,516 because there's no cut-off on the size of a moon. 1001 00:41:59,600 --> 00:42:02,196 As astronomers, we're a bit namby-pamby really. 1002 00:42:02,280 --> 00:42:04,076 We only recently defined planets. 1003 00:42:04,160 --> 00:42:06,636 I mean, we...Yes, because poor Pluto lost out, didn't it? 1004 00:42:06,720 --> 00:42:09,236 Yes, well you see, that's it!Yeah. Pluto was a planet for ages, 1005 00:42:09,320 --> 00:42:11,716 then someone went, "Sorry, mate. You're a dwarf planet." 1006 00:42:11,800 --> 00:42:13,916 Yeah. Is that because it's just gases? 1007 00:42:14,000 --> 00:42:15,476 No, no, it's actually a solid rock. 1008 00:42:15,560 --> 00:42:17,236 Oh. But it's not big enough? 1009 00:42:17,320 --> 00:42:18,916 It's actually smaller than our moon. 1010 00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:20,556 Oh, really? Yes. 1011 00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:23,236 It's probably the size of Wales. That's what people say, isn't it? 1012 00:42:23,320 --> 00:42:25,236 Yeah, everything's the size of Wales.Yeah. 1013 00:42:25,320 --> 00:42:26,676 Especially Wales. 1014 00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:30,396 There's a suggestion from the Elves, which I think you'll like, Alan, 1015 00:42:30,480 --> 00:42:31,836 that you get 20 restorative points 1016 00:42:31,920 --> 00:42:34,076 to make-up for all the previous moon questions 1017 00:42:34,160 --> 00:42:35,876 that you've suffered on QI. 1018 00:42:35,960 --> 00:42:38,836 Does that... Now we've had an expert tell us there's just the one. 1019 00:42:38,920 --> 00:42:43,040 Yeah. Well, as an opening offer, I'd like to go back...Oh, right! 1020 00:42:44,680 --> 00:42:47,916 Right, thanks to Maggie we finally know how many moons the Earth has. 1021 00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:50,476 At least till we move the goalposts again. 1022 00:42:50,560 --> 00:42:52,596 All of which lunar lunacy brings us to the 1023 00:42:52,680 --> 00:42:54,356 hair-raising business of the scores. 1024 00:42:54,440 --> 00:42:58,316 So over the moon, in first place, with minus five, 1025 00:42:58,400 --> 00:42:59,716 it's Maggie! 1026 00:42:59,800 --> 00:43:01,756 CHEERING 1027 00:43:01,840 --> 00:43:05,396 In second place, with minus nine, Tom! 1028 00:43:05,480 --> 00:43:06,476 Oh. 1029 00:43:06,560 --> 00:43:10,116 In third, even following the restorative points, 1030 00:43:10,200 --> 00:43:12,236 you've got minus 16, Alan. 1031 00:43:12,320 --> 00:43:14,036 APPLAUSE 1032 00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:17,796 And in last place, not a happy bunny at all I would imagine. 1033 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:20,636 No. With minus 17, it's Ed. 1034 00:43:20,720 --> 00:43:21,836 Yeah. 1035 00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:23,840 CHEERING 1036 00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,196 So, my thanks to Maggie, Ed, Tom and Alan. 1037 00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:35,196 I leave you with this quote from the High Times Encyclopaedia 1038 00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:36,796 of Recreational Drugs. 1039 00:43:36,880 --> 00:43:39,836 "A drug is a substance that, when injected into a rat, 1040 00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:41,876 "produces a scientific paper." 1041 00:43:41,960 --> 00:43:43,400 Goodnight.