1 00:00:24,654 --> 00:00:28,454 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 2 00:00:32,013 --> 00:00:33,973 Good evening and welcome to QI, 3 00:00:33,973 --> 00:00:36,613 where tonight we'll be pirouetting our parasols 4 00:00:36,613 --> 00:00:41,412 and mixing martinis in our Shady & Shaky show. 5 00:00:41,412 --> 00:00:45,012 Joining me are a shady lady, Victoria Coren Mitchell... 6 00:00:45,012 --> 00:00:47,011 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 7 00:00:48,971 --> 00:00:52,690 ..the shadow Minister of Mirth, Eshaan Akbar... 8 00:00:52,690 --> 00:00:56,530 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 9 00:00:56,530 --> 00:00:59,689 ..the Sheikh of Shenanigans, John Barrowman... 10 00:00:59,689 --> 00:01:02,049 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 11 00:01:03,089 --> 00:01:05,849 ..and shaking it all about, it's Alan Davies. 12 00:01:05,849 --> 00:01:09,008 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 13 00:01:10,648 --> 00:01:13,367 Right, let's hear their shady, shaky signature tunes. 14 00:01:13,367 --> 00:01:15,207 Victoria goes... 15 00:01:15,207 --> 00:01:17,647 # Cos I'm Slim Shady Yes, I'm the real Shady 16 00:01:17,647 --> 00:01:20,087 # All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating. # 17 00:01:20,087 --> 00:01:21,726 Eshaan goes... 18 00:01:21,726 --> 00:01:25,846 # The shadow of your smile... # 19 00:01:25,846 --> 00:01:28,725 Nice! Really nice! 20 00:01:28,725 --> 00:01:31,445 Oh, be careful, Eshaan, you'll pull. 21 00:01:31,445 --> 00:01:33,085 John goes... 22 00:01:33,085 --> 00:01:36,484 # I see you, baby Shakin' that ass 23 00:01:36,484 --> 00:01:38,524 # Shakin' that ass 24 00:01:38,524 --> 00:01:40,844 # Shakin' that ass. # 25 00:01:40,844 --> 00:01:42,163 Perfect. 26 00:01:42,163 --> 00:01:45,203 He comes to life! Perfect. And Alan goes... 27 00:01:45,203 --> 00:01:49,162 # Put your left arm in Your left arm out 28 00:01:49,162 --> 00:01:52,962 # In, out, in, out You shake it all about. # 29 00:01:52,962 --> 00:01:54,002 Right. 30 00:01:54,002 --> 00:01:59,281 Name something that was invented in either Shaky Town or Shady Town. 31 00:01:59,281 --> 00:02:02,080 I mean, I'm hoping this is a Shakin' Stevens question. 32 00:02:02,080 --> 00:02:03,800 Oh! Oh. 33 00:02:03,800 --> 00:02:06,600 Because I know a lot about him. Why? Yeah. 34 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:08,320 Because I was a big fan of him as a child, 35 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,319 and you know the stuff you learnt - well, child - as a teenager. Yeah. 36 00:02:11,319 --> 00:02:12,759 It's inexcusable. Yeah. 37 00:02:12,759 --> 00:02:15,799 It's not inexcusable! Well, he was, let me tell you, 38 00:02:15,799 --> 00:02:19,038 tomorrow is Shakin' Stevens' 73rd birthday. 39 00:02:19,038 --> 00:02:20,078 No! 40 00:02:20,078 --> 00:02:21,918 And I still would. Because... 41 00:02:21,918 --> 00:02:23,357 Yes. 42 00:02:25,237 --> 00:02:30,036 ..not only is he gorgeous, but when you're young, 43 00:02:30,036 --> 00:02:31,476 those kind of things go in. 44 00:02:31,476 --> 00:02:33,476 I know his birthday, favourite colour, indigo, 45 00:02:33,476 --> 00:02:35,236 real name Michael Barratt. 46 00:02:35,236 --> 00:02:39,075 Stage name, taken from his old school friend Steven Vanderwalker, 47 00:02:39,075 --> 00:02:40,595 he took the name. 48 00:02:40,595 --> 00:02:42,835 Can I just say, I've no idea how we got here. 49 00:02:42,835 --> 00:02:45,434 That's what's slightly... I-I wanted to get 50 00:02:45,434 --> 00:02:47,114 to seismology and geology. 51 00:02:47,114 --> 00:02:48,354 And we... 52 00:02:48,354 --> 00:02:50,354 Is it something to do with, 53 00:02:50,354 --> 00:02:53,513 is Shaky Town something to do with, like, an earthquake machine? 54 00:02:53,513 --> 00:02:57,313 It's exactly right. So modern seismology began in Comrie village, 55 00:02:57,313 --> 00:03:00,312 so it's in Perthshire. It's your part of the world, is it not? 56 00:03:00,312 --> 00:03:01,512 Up in Scotland. 57 00:03:01,512 --> 00:03:03,872 Yeah. An earthquake machine in Scotland? 58 00:03:03,872 --> 00:03:05,351 Yes. It's known as... 59 00:03:05,351 --> 00:03:07,951 IN SCOTTISH ACCENT: "Shaky Toon." How was that? 60 00:03:07,951 --> 00:03:10,191 Very good. That was good. That was brilliant! 61 00:03:10,191 --> 00:03:12,710 "Shaky Toon." So an incredible number of earthquakes, 62 00:03:12,710 --> 00:03:14,870 which you maybe wouldn't even think of in Scotland. 63 00:03:14,870 --> 00:03:17,710 The late-18th to the mid-19th century, thousands of earthquakes. 64 00:03:17,710 --> 00:03:20,989 There is a thing called the Highland Boundary Fault, 65 00:03:20,989 --> 00:03:24,029 and the position of this town is astride the fault. 66 00:03:24,029 --> 00:03:25,548 And it still records more 67 00:03:25,548 --> 00:03:28,108 and stronger tremors than anywhere else in Britain. 68 00:03:28,108 --> 00:03:31,228 It is officially Britain's shakiest town. 69 00:03:31,228 --> 00:03:35,027 And so they wanted to measure it and it's the very first purpose-built 70 00:03:35,027 --> 00:03:38,547 seismology station in the world, known as Earthquake House. 71 00:03:38,547 --> 00:03:41,506 It's basically a hut in a field, if I'm honest with you. 72 00:03:41,506 --> 00:03:43,546 It looks like a public toilet! I know. 73 00:03:43,546 --> 00:03:46,625 It does! It's so British - "Look what we've made!" 74 00:03:46,625 --> 00:03:50,825 I bet you open the door and you can see to the core of the Earth. 75 00:03:54,624 --> 00:03:57,304 It was instigated by the Comrie Pioneers, 76 00:03:57,304 --> 00:03:58,864 basically the local postmaster. 77 00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,623 He devised one of the earliest measures for earthquakes. 78 00:04:01,623 --> 00:04:05,863 So a ten was a quake that they had in October of 1839, 79 00:04:05,863 --> 00:04:08,062 which was felt over most of Scotland. 80 00:04:08,062 --> 00:04:10,262 IN SCOTTISH ACCENT: That's when the teapot rattles! 81 00:04:10,262 --> 00:04:12,782 Yeah. So the Comrie Scale is different scales of quake. 82 00:04:12,782 --> 00:04:15,701 So number ten, massive quake in 1839. 83 00:04:15,701 --> 00:04:18,301 And then number one, I like, is called Just Sensible. 84 00:04:18,301 --> 00:04:20,181 What? What? Yeah. 85 00:04:20,181 --> 00:04:21,860 Just capable of being sensed. 86 00:04:21,860 --> 00:04:23,500 It's a quiver. Oh. It's more of a... 87 00:04:23,500 --> 00:04:24,900 Oh. We've all had those. 88 00:04:25,940 --> 00:04:28,699 That's a different kind of earthquake! That is, yeah. 89 00:04:28,699 --> 00:04:31,499 So incredibly simple mechanism - you get two wooden beams, 90 00:04:31,499 --> 00:04:34,019 you get one going north and south and one going east and west, 91 00:04:34,019 --> 00:04:36,498 like that, with wooden cylinders of various sizes on top. 92 00:04:36,498 --> 00:04:40,538 And it took various sizes of quake to get the cylinders to fall off. 93 00:04:40,538 --> 00:04:42,377 It's not very complicated. 94 00:04:42,377 --> 00:04:46,137 And then sod's law stepped in, they built the Earthquake House 95 00:04:46,137 --> 00:04:48,017 and that coincided pretty much 96 00:04:48,017 --> 00:04:51,296 with the end of the great era of earthquakes in Comrie. 97 00:04:51,296 --> 00:04:53,776 It's as if the earthquake had just moved on. 98 00:04:53,776 --> 00:04:56,095 Yeah. "Oh, they've built something, let's go." Yeah. 99 00:04:56,095 --> 00:04:58,055 What happened to the postman? Uh... 100 00:04:58,055 --> 00:04:59,975 Well, he is remembered for having done this, 101 00:04:59,975 --> 00:05:02,215 not so remembered that I can tell you what his name is. 102 00:05:02,215 --> 00:05:06,534 I reckon he invented it to explain why whenever he delivered things, it was always broken in the box. Yes. 103 00:05:06,534 --> 00:05:10,413 But, we now realise that this hut is of historic significance, and they 104 00:05:10,413 --> 00:05:13,653 have in fact updated it with modern equipment so sensitive, it picked up 105 00:05:13,653 --> 00:05:17,692 the tsunami on Boxing Day 2004 in Indonesia, so that is extraordinary. 106 00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:19,292 Wow. Wow. No way. 107 00:05:19,292 --> 00:05:22,212 So it wasn't related to the Richter scale? Yeah, is not different? 108 00:05:22,212 --> 00:05:23,332 No. 109 00:05:23,332 --> 00:05:25,371 Yes, the Richter scale is entirely different, yeah. 110 00:05:25,371 --> 00:05:27,891 So this was the first measure that we had. 111 00:05:27,891 --> 00:05:31,330 Right, so we've Shaky Toon, let's go to Shady Town. 112 00:05:31,330 --> 00:05:34,490 It is, I can tell you, also in Scotland. Any thoughts? 113 00:05:34,490 --> 00:05:36,610 A place where the sun never shines? 114 00:05:36,610 --> 00:05:39,129 Yes, darling, it is. Lochranza on Arran. 115 00:05:39,129 --> 00:05:43,329 It is the UK's, possibly the world's, shadiest town. 116 00:05:43,329 --> 00:05:46,568 It gets fewer annual hours of sunshine than anywhere else, 117 00:05:46,568 --> 00:05:49,528 because it sits on a sort of north-facing glen on a rainy island. 118 00:05:49,528 --> 00:05:50,888 It has no street lights. 119 00:05:50,888 --> 00:05:54,567 I have to say, I've been there, and it is extremely beautiful. 120 00:05:54,567 --> 00:05:57,367 But it is also the birthplace of modern geology. 121 00:05:57,367 --> 00:05:59,846 So we've got two places in Scotland that have done 122 00:05:59,846 --> 00:06:01,326 wonders for the study of the planet, 123 00:06:01,326 --> 00:06:04,206 and the man known as the father of modern geology, 124 00:06:04,206 --> 00:06:06,205 James Hutton, he visited in 1787, 125 00:06:06,205 --> 00:06:08,805 and he discovered, it was the very first example 126 00:06:08,805 --> 00:06:11,445 of what's called Hutton's Unconformity. 127 00:06:11,445 --> 00:06:14,724 And I love this, because I notice it and don't know what it is, 128 00:06:14,724 --> 00:06:18,724 but it's a junction between different types of rock formation. 129 00:06:18,724 --> 00:06:22,243 And he developed the idea that such formations could only have 130 00:06:22,243 --> 00:06:24,443 resulted over unimaginable time, 131 00:06:24,443 --> 00:06:27,602 so the Earth could not be young, as the Bible claimed. 132 00:06:27,602 --> 00:06:30,442 So I think we can just show you, with some writing on the top. 133 00:06:30,442 --> 00:06:33,281 Can you see how you've got the ones that are the structures 134 00:06:33,281 --> 00:06:36,441 that are going up, like that? Yeah. And isn't it incredible? 135 00:06:36,441 --> 00:06:39,161 So, he has supported what was called Plutonism, 136 00:06:39,161 --> 00:06:41,320 which is that rocks are formed by volcanic action 137 00:06:41,320 --> 00:06:44,720 against Neptunism that rocks were formed by the biblical flood. 138 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:50,199 It's stunningly beautiful, I think, the way the Earth has shifted and moved like that. It's wonderful. 139 00:06:50,199 --> 00:06:53,958 Anyway, he wrote a line in a 1788 paper which has, 140 00:06:53,958 --> 00:06:56,598 well, it's echoed through geological science ever since. 141 00:06:56,598 --> 00:07:00,358 "The result therefore of our present enquiry is that 142 00:07:00,358 --> 00:07:04,517 "we find no vestige of a beginning - no prospect of an end." 143 00:07:04,517 --> 00:07:07,397 It's really lovely. Modern seismology and geology 144 00:07:07,397 --> 00:07:10,356 were invented 60 miles from each other, in Scotland. 145 00:07:10,356 --> 00:07:13,836 Describe the dark side of puppeteering. 146 00:07:15,315 --> 00:07:17,915 Well, surely it's everything that goes on... 147 00:07:17,915 --> 00:07:20,355 Yeah. Underneath. ..below the desk! 148 00:07:21,994 --> 00:07:24,114 "That's the way to do it!" I dread to think. 149 00:07:24,114 --> 00:07:26,794 Alan, stop playing with your puppet under the table. 150 00:07:26,794 --> 00:07:30,753 Yeah. What do all the other puppets do when you put them down? 151 00:07:30,753 --> 00:07:32,193 Yes, keep the hands up here! 152 00:07:32,193 --> 00:07:35,433 It's a specific kind of puppetry that we're thinking of. 153 00:07:35,433 --> 00:07:38,272 The dark side of puppetry. Any thoughts? 154 00:07:38,272 --> 00:07:39,632 Shadows? Shadows. 155 00:07:39,632 --> 00:07:42,512 What about Hank Marvin? Would you or wouldn't you? 156 00:07:42,512 --> 00:07:45,751 I tell you what, Cliff Richard I definitely would. 157 00:07:45,751 --> 00:07:47,551 Don't say anything - I would. 158 00:07:48,751 --> 00:07:52,070 We're talking about a specific type of shadow puppetry. 159 00:07:52,070 --> 00:07:53,590 I've got some examples here. 160 00:07:53,590 --> 00:07:56,270 So it's Java, Indonesia, Southeast Asia. 161 00:07:56,270 --> 00:07:57,749 Oh, wow. Oh, right. 162 00:07:57,749 --> 00:08:01,109 It's a 1,000-year-old form of shadow puppet theatre called 163 00:08:01,109 --> 00:08:04,508 wayang. So they often tell Hindu epics. 164 00:08:04,508 --> 00:08:08,468 The only thing is, the shows can last eight or more hours, right. 165 00:08:08,468 --> 00:08:09,508 Of course they can. 166 00:08:09,508 --> 00:08:11,907 I mean, have you seen a Bollywood film? They last 16 days. 167 00:08:11,907 --> 00:08:13,027 Yes, exactly that. I mean, 168 00:08:13,027 --> 00:08:15,667 all puppet shows FEEL like they've lasted eight or nine hours. 169 00:08:15,667 --> 00:08:18,946 Yes, that's true. The ninth hour of the Punch & Judy epic. 170 00:08:18,946 --> 00:08:22,066 Unfortunately, it is a skill which is very slightly dying out, 171 00:08:22,066 --> 00:08:24,665 so some of the puppeteers have taken to performing 172 00:08:24,665 --> 00:08:27,825 Star Wars-themed shows, for example, to younger audiences. 173 00:08:27,825 --> 00:08:29,545 And they take some liberties. 174 00:08:29,545 --> 00:08:31,824 So there we've got Chewbacca and Han Solo. 175 00:08:31,824 --> 00:08:34,264 I am all for that. You think that's OK? 176 00:08:34,264 --> 00:08:36,744 Love it, still have my original Star Wars toys. 177 00:08:36,744 --> 00:08:41,503 I have a whole section of the garage devoted to Star Wars memorabilia. 178 00:08:41,503 --> 00:08:43,103 I even have my Star Wars 179 00:08:43,103 --> 00:08:45,742 pyjama, you know, pants. 180 00:08:45,742 --> 00:08:50,142 And I go to... Don't laugh at me! I go to bed dressed in Star Wars. 181 00:08:50,142 --> 00:08:53,381 Where else is he going to keep his lightsaber at night?! 182 00:08:53,381 --> 00:08:56,421 You see? I mean, I've got nothing. 183 00:08:56,421 --> 00:08:58,661 But, yeah, massive Star Wars fan. 184 00:08:58,661 --> 00:09:01,820 I think that's a great idea. Do you only have the trousers? 185 00:09:01,820 --> 00:09:04,740 No, I have the top too, but it's, like, I have one that's 186 00:09:04,740 --> 00:09:07,419 Darth Vader pants and then on the top it says, 187 00:09:07,419 --> 00:09:08,859 "I'm your daddy." 188 00:09:08,859 --> 00:09:11,099 LAUGHTER 189 00:09:16,938 --> 00:09:19,698 That is just so wrong. I've never watched Star Wars. Did you want 190 00:09:19,698 --> 00:09:24,257 to confess anything? I'm turning it into therapy. Well, yeah, maybe. 191 00:09:24,257 --> 00:09:26,976 I don't know. I think not seeing Star Wars is a confession in itself. 192 00:09:26,976 --> 00:09:29,136 That's a big confession, isn't it? That is quite big. 193 00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:31,856 Alan, anything you want to reveal to the rest of the world? Oh, many. 194 00:09:31,856 --> 00:09:33,736 Actually, I asked you this once and you told me 195 00:09:33,736 --> 00:09:36,015 you'd pooed on Hampstead Heath or something. Oh, yes. 196 00:09:37,975 --> 00:09:41,134 That's right. And I'm not falling into this trap again. 197 00:09:43,814 --> 00:09:45,014 Lovely. 198 00:09:45,014 --> 00:09:47,254 Anyway, they are now using wayang shows, which is 199 00:09:47,254 --> 00:09:49,733 what this puppetry is, to explain all sorts of things. 200 00:09:49,733 --> 00:09:51,013 They've used it for Covid-19, 201 00:09:51,013 --> 00:09:53,093 they use it for the destruction of coral reefs. 202 00:09:53,093 --> 00:09:55,212 I mean, all sorts of kind of educational stuff. 203 00:09:55,212 --> 00:09:58,892 It's quite complex and traditionally there's just one puppet master, 204 00:09:58,892 --> 00:10:00,212 who's called a dalang, 205 00:10:00,212 --> 00:10:02,251 and they are highly respected, 206 00:10:02,251 --> 00:10:05,251 and it used to be that Indonesian children wanted to grow up 207 00:10:05,251 --> 00:10:07,251 and be a dalang. Ah. 208 00:10:07,251 --> 00:10:11,010 Usually boys would work the puppets and girls play the "gender", 209 00:10:11,010 --> 00:10:12,570 which a bit like a glockenspiel. 210 00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:15,250 And the puppets, as you can see, are really intricate. 211 00:10:15,250 --> 00:10:18,089 And, perversely, considering they're there to create shadows, 212 00:10:18,089 --> 00:10:20,769 they're very brightly painted. Yeah, that is odd, isn't it? 213 00:10:20,769 --> 00:10:22,209 Yes. It's just a curiosity. 214 00:10:22,209 --> 00:10:25,648 I've got a very, this is a move. "Yas queen! 215 00:10:25,648 --> 00:10:28,408 "Yas queen, yas! 216 00:10:28,408 --> 00:10:32,407 "Yas queen, yas, yas, yas! Yas queen!" 217 00:10:33,527 --> 00:10:36,926 What's that thing called, darling? Is it called a GIF or whatever it is where a TikTok thing? 218 00:10:36,926 --> 00:10:38,766 Cluck? Yeah, could I say something 219 00:10:38,766 --> 00:10:41,366 and you just stand behind me going, "Yas queen!"? 220 00:10:41,366 --> 00:10:43,206 Yas queen! I love that! 221 00:10:43,206 --> 00:10:46,165 I'll do a soundbite for you, you can use it. Yes, please. I'd like that very much. 222 00:10:46,165 --> 00:10:48,725 I really enjoyed the talk about social media. That was cute. 223 00:10:48,725 --> 00:10:51,484 LAUGHTER 224 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:54,644 I definitely have no idea what I just said. 225 00:10:54,644 --> 00:10:57,603 "Could I do a GIF on TikTok?" "No, you can't." 226 00:10:57,603 --> 00:11:00,083 LAUGHTER 227 00:11:00,083 --> 00:11:02,163 I don't do any of it. You do it, don't you, darling? 228 00:11:02,163 --> 00:11:03,643 You do all that social media. 229 00:11:03,643 --> 00:11:07,202 No. No. I... No. No. 230 00:11:07,202 --> 00:11:10,122 TikTok is it... It is a dancing thing. I think you would be great at it. 231 00:11:10,122 --> 00:11:14,641 You could do a musical thing which is like...would, wouldn't, would, would, wouldn't. 232 00:11:14,641 --> 00:11:17,081 It would be... 233 00:11:17,081 --> 00:11:19,760 "Tell me you want to sleep with Shakin' Stevens 234 00:11:19,760 --> 00:11:23,560 "without telling me you want to sleep with Shakin' Stevens." 235 00:11:23,560 --> 00:11:26,439 LAUGHTER 236 00:11:26,439 --> 00:11:29,999 And the puppeteer, it's improv. They improvise most of the play. 237 00:11:29,999 --> 00:11:32,758 Do they come out and say, "So can someone give me an object? 238 00:11:32,758 --> 00:11:36,158 Yes. "An object, situation, then let's have a feeling, 239 00:11:36,158 --> 00:11:37,438 "let's have an emotion." 240 00:11:37,438 --> 00:11:39,597 Unusual occupation. Yeah. 241 00:11:39,597 --> 00:11:41,797 Let's go for that. "Gynaecologist!" 242 00:11:41,797 --> 00:11:43,117 Yeah. 243 00:11:44,317 --> 00:11:46,676 Can I tell you this, about when I first took my daughter 244 00:11:46,676 --> 00:11:48,916 to a puppet show? I found this very, very annoying. 245 00:11:48,916 --> 00:11:51,876 The puppeteer came out and, you know, had the puppets 246 00:11:51,876 --> 00:11:55,155 and spoke to the audience, and I wanted to say, "Look, fine. 247 00:11:55,155 --> 00:11:57,355 "After the age of about 30, magnificent, 248 00:11:57,355 --> 00:11:59,195 "break it down, deconstruct it." 249 00:11:59,195 --> 00:12:01,794 She, my child is three, she thinks it's real. 250 00:12:01,794 --> 00:12:03,794 Just bring it up behind a hay bale. 251 00:12:03,794 --> 00:12:07,553 It's fine. Let it be a talking creature. 252 00:12:07,553 --> 00:12:10,393 I used to watch Rainbow. 253 00:12:10,393 --> 00:12:14,952 I was 15 before I wonder why Zippy was always behind something. 254 00:12:14,952 --> 00:12:16,952 LAUGHTER 255 00:12:16,952 --> 00:12:19,832 They're having a picnic. He's behind a bush. 256 00:12:19,832 --> 00:12:22,151 Oh, they are in the kitchen, he is behind the washing machine. 257 00:12:22,151 --> 00:12:23,471 Never asked the question. 258 00:12:23,471 --> 00:12:26,111 Have you ever worked with the Muppets? I have. 259 00:12:26,111 --> 00:12:30,550 Yeah. Yeah. It's amazing to be like with Kermit or Miss Piggy or anyone. 260 00:12:30,550 --> 00:12:33,550 It's very difficult not to reference them if you don't. 261 00:12:33,550 --> 00:12:36,109 But Kermit's the weirdest one, cos it's, like, on his head. 262 00:12:36,109 --> 00:12:38,549 It's on his head. Yeah. And he's working the hands like that. 263 00:12:38,549 --> 00:12:40,549 I still would. Of course. 264 00:12:40,549 --> 00:12:42,348 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 265 00:12:42,348 --> 00:12:43,828 Come on! 266 00:12:49,907 --> 00:12:52,827 Shall we see if we can revive a traditional shadow puppet 267 00:12:52,827 --> 00:12:54,307 artform ourselves? 268 00:12:54,307 --> 00:13:00,186 Shadowgraphy is the art of making shadow shapes with your hands. 269 00:13:00,186 --> 00:13:03,425 I'll just show you the sort of shapes that we are looking for, OK? 270 00:13:03,425 --> 00:13:06,145 So there is a wolf, and there's a goat and there's a swan 271 00:13:06,145 --> 00:13:08,025 and a rabbit, OK? 272 00:13:08,025 --> 00:13:10,304 And I want you to see if you can recreate those. 273 00:13:10,304 --> 00:13:12,984 So, you two, go behind the screen and you two try 274 00:13:12,984 --> 00:13:16,423 and guess which ones that they are doing. 275 00:13:16,423 --> 00:13:19,583 Oh, don't go behind a screen and then... What's going to happen? 276 00:13:19,583 --> 00:13:22,023 I know, you never know. Right. OK. 277 00:13:22,023 --> 00:13:24,382 Eshaan, you've got such tiny hands. 278 00:13:24,382 --> 00:13:26,622 Oh, look! I beg your pardon! 279 00:13:26,622 --> 00:13:29,862 Right, let's... I don't know... What do you think Eshaan is doing? 280 00:13:29,862 --> 00:13:31,581 Is it a jellyfish? 281 00:13:31,581 --> 00:13:33,741 I don't know. Eshaan is telling us where to go, I think. 282 00:13:33,741 --> 00:13:34,861 I think it's something... 283 00:13:34,861 --> 00:13:36,741 ROARING 284 00:13:36,741 --> 00:13:39,340 It's a frog with an enormous vulva. 285 00:13:42,540 --> 00:13:45,379 That's a rabbit. Or a squirrel. Squirrel? Squirrel? 286 00:13:45,379 --> 00:13:50,059 Is it a rabbit? Rabbit. Is it a rabbit? It's being attacked! 287 00:13:50,059 --> 00:13:51,418 It's Rod Hull and Emu. 288 00:13:51,418 --> 00:13:54,818 A swan with a hand coming out of its arse. What is this? 289 00:13:54,818 --> 00:13:56,178 The thumb is not working for me. 290 00:13:56,178 --> 00:13:59,257 What do you mean the swan is not working for you?! 291 00:13:59,257 --> 00:14:02,817 Well, make it speak or eat or something. There we go. Well done! 292 00:14:02,817 --> 00:14:04,976 Let's have a go with you two having a go. 293 00:14:04,976 --> 00:14:06,536 Off you go, round the screen. 294 00:14:06,536 --> 00:14:10,456 Luckily, I'm known for my knock-about, physical comedy. 295 00:14:11,496 --> 00:14:13,695 I can't wait to see this. 296 00:14:13,695 --> 00:14:16,295 I can't believe Alan said I've got small hands. 297 00:14:16,295 --> 00:14:19,094 Darling, it's perspective. It's not the size. Yes, exactly. Thank you! 298 00:14:19,094 --> 00:14:22,734 OK, here we go. Alan is doing a spider. 299 00:14:22,734 --> 00:14:25,893 It looks like a...duck. 300 00:14:25,893 --> 00:14:29,173 Oh, a fox. Oh, Victoria's very good. 301 00:14:29,173 --> 00:14:32,493 That is very good. Yeah. 302 00:14:32,493 --> 00:14:34,052 Yeah! I literally don't know... 303 00:14:34,052 --> 00:14:35,892 ALAN: I don't know what mine is either. 304 00:14:35,892 --> 00:14:38,012 Oh, hang on a minute, it is a bit more bent. 305 00:14:38,012 --> 00:14:39,492 And as for the fingers... 306 00:14:39,492 --> 00:14:43,771 LAUGHTER 307 00:14:43,771 --> 00:14:45,571 Alan's looks like a tapeworm. 308 00:14:45,571 --> 00:14:48,570 Yeah. What is that? 309 00:14:48,570 --> 00:14:51,530 It's exploding out of John Hurt's... 310 00:14:51,530 --> 00:14:53,250 It's a goat. It's a goat? 311 00:14:53,250 --> 00:14:55,569 It's a goat? Very well done. 312 00:14:55,569 --> 00:14:57,209 Yeah! It's a goat. 313 00:15:00,169 --> 00:15:03,728 Who knew that you had wolf in you? 314 00:15:03,728 --> 00:15:07,208 I think I have made that perfectly clear. 315 00:15:07,208 --> 00:15:11,047 Now, what's shady and two dimensional about this guy? 316 00:15:11,047 --> 00:15:13,167 So, if I give you his name it may help. 317 00:15:13,167 --> 00:15:17,086 He was the French Minister of Finance for just eight months 318 00:15:17,086 --> 00:15:20,126 under Louis XIV and he was called Etienne de Silhouette. 319 00:15:20,126 --> 00:15:23,765 Is that why...silhouette, because he's thought of as a shadowy figure? 320 00:15:23,765 --> 00:15:26,965 It's why shadow portraits, you know the portraits where you just get.... 321 00:15:26,965 --> 00:15:29,284 Yes. ..the sort of outline of a person done in black? Yes. Yeah. 322 00:15:29,284 --> 00:15:32,284 They're known as silhouettes and it is because his, well, the normal 323 00:15:32,284 --> 00:15:35,443 explanation, his austerity policies, which eventually got him fired, 324 00:15:35,443 --> 00:15:38,243 caused his name to be associated with sort of general thriftiness. 325 00:15:38,243 --> 00:15:39,763 And these were cheaper portraits 326 00:15:39,763 --> 00:15:42,442 for people who couldn't afford to have oil portraits. Oh. 327 00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:44,802 I think they're very beautiful, but it's not for me to say. 328 00:15:44,802 --> 00:15:46,282 We have an expert with us. 329 00:15:46,282 --> 00:15:49,561 Please welcome master silhouettist Charles Burns. There he is. 330 00:15:49,561 --> 00:15:51,281 APPLAUSE 331 00:15:51,281 --> 00:15:54,801 Charles, tell me, how did you learn to be a silhouettist? 332 00:15:54,801 --> 00:15:55,961 How did that happen? 333 00:15:55,961 --> 00:15:58,640 When I left art college, I worked for a number of years 334 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:00,960 as a street portrait artist in Covent Garden, 335 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,840 and drawing portraits originally. 336 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,479 And then I started cutting silhouettes more or less 337 00:16:05,479 --> 00:16:08,199 as a sideline, but they completely took over my life. 338 00:16:08,199 --> 00:16:09,759 They became very popular in Europe, 339 00:16:09,759 --> 00:16:11,678 and they came over, didn't they, from France? 340 00:16:11,678 --> 00:16:13,198 They did, they became very popular 341 00:16:13,198 --> 00:16:15,558 throughout the 18th and early 19th centuries. 342 00:16:15,558 --> 00:16:18,277 But they died out, really, when photography was invented 343 00:16:18,277 --> 00:16:20,677 and all the silhouette artists went out of business. 344 00:16:20,677 --> 00:16:22,997 Which I think is a great shame. In fact, studios used to be 345 00:16:22,997 --> 00:16:25,116 equipped sometimes with a physio...physionog... 346 00:16:25,116 --> 00:16:28,156 A physiognotrace... Physiognotrace. ..is the word you're looking for. 347 00:16:28,156 --> 00:16:30,156 The physiognotrace was like an arm, 348 00:16:30,156 --> 00:16:34,555 like a metal bar, which used to be passed around someone's profile, 349 00:16:34,555 --> 00:16:38,794 and at the other end of the bar was a little pencil which, on a small 350 00:16:38,794 --> 00:16:42,234 piece of paper, would draw upside down and in reverse, their profile. 351 00:16:42,234 --> 00:16:43,914 But you don't do anything as a...? 352 00:16:43,914 --> 00:16:46,553 No, I rely entirely on a pair of scissors. 353 00:16:46,553 --> 00:16:49,753 A pair of scissors. And a technique I call "cut and hope". 354 00:16:49,753 --> 00:16:51,593 OK. I like that! 355 00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:54,512 So, so you're going to do our silhouettes, 356 00:16:54,512 --> 00:16:55,952 while we're carrying on chatting. 357 00:16:55,952 --> 00:16:58,472 Yes. So can I get you to sit and carry on with your... 358 00:16:58,472 --> 00:17:00,951 I shall go and explore your profile. ..cutting away. Oh, OK! 359 00:17:02,591 --> 00:17:04,391 Imagine you're on a coin. 360 00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:06,030 While he's cutting away, 361 00:17:06,030 --> 00:17:09,110 I can tell you there was even an automaton called Prosopographus. 362 00:17:09,110 --> 00:17:11,350 So prosopon is Greek for face, 363 00:17:11,350 --> 00:17:14,789 and it was set up in the 1820s on the Strand in London 364 00:17:14,789 --> 00:17:17,709 by a silhouette artist called Charles Herve. 365 00:17:17,709 --> 00:17:21,228 And it was a sort of small robotic figure sitting on a box 366 00:17:21,228 --> 00:17:24,428 with a tablet in one hand and a stylus on the other. 367 00:17:24,428 --> 00:17:26,108 And it drew an outline of your face 368 00:17:26,108 --> 00:17:28,227 which could then be cut into a silhouette. 369 00:17:28,227 --> 00:17:31,747 We have no idea how this, the automaton worked, although 370 00:17:31,747 --> 00:17:35,826 some visitors reported seeing "human eyes behind the curtain". 371 00:17:35,826 --> 00:17:39,266 So... We are assuming there was a human inside. 372 00:17:39,266 --> 00:17:42,665 Have a quick look at this and tell me what you see here. 373 00:17:42,665 --> 00:17:45,865 Two faces looking at each other. Two faces looking at each other. 374 00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:48,304 I can see both. All right! I see two faces or a vase. 375 00:17:48,304 --> 00:17:51,784 Or a vase. What do you see, Victoria? Um... 376 00:17:51,784 --> 00:17:53,584 Shakin' Stevens... 377 00:17:58,743 --> 00:18:01,742 A sort of goblet or two people. Yeah. Yeah. 378 00:18:01,742 --> 00:18:04,022 It is in fact known as Rubin's Vase. 379 00:18:04,022 --> 00:18:07,502 So, Danish psychologist Edgar Rubin, 1915. 380 00:18:07,502 --> 00:18:11,941 And it's very interesting how the brain decides what is an object 381 00:18:11,941 --> 00:18:13,661 and what is the background. 382 00:18:13,661 --> 00:18:16,700 So, an object sometimes has a sharper colour, 383 00:18:16,700 --> 00:18:18,540 there are visual clues. 384 00:18:18,540 --> 00:18:21,420 Maybe it's closer, or it gives you an emotional response. 385 00:18:21,420 --> 00:18:25,459 If you remove all of those things, the brain cannot consistently 386 00:18:25,459 --> 00:18:28,379 distinguish the object from the background. Right. 387 00:18:28,379 --> 00:18:31,498 So, depending on how we look at it, might think it's a face immediately, 388 00:18:31,498 --> 00:18:33,578 might think it's a vase immediately. Really? 389 00:18:33,578 --> 00:18:37,257 Yeah. There are two British artists, Tim Noble and Sue Webster, 390 00:18:37,257 --> 00:18:38,537 they developed a technique, 391 00:18:38,537 --> 00:18:40,697 and they create silhouettes from heaps of junk. 392 00:18:40,697 --> 00:18:42,577 They started their work in 1997. 393 00:18:42,577 --> 00:18:45,376 This is one of their pieces that was at the Royal Academy. 394 00:18:45,376 --> 00:18:46,856 So that's just junk. Shut up! 395 00:18:46,856 --> 00:18:49,816 It's old wood and rusty tools and toilet roll and all sorts of things. 396 00:18:49,816 --> 00:18:52,695 And that's them in silhouette. That is great. That's amazing. 397 00:18:52,695 --> 00:18:55,135 I think it's one of the best things I have ever seen. 398 00:18:55,135 --> 00:18:58,414 People are so creative. I mean, as an Asian kid growing up, 399 00:18:58,414 --> 00:18:59,854 imagine if I told my dad, 400 00:18:59,854 --> 00:19:02,294 "Dad, I want to do stuff with rubbish and make silhouettes." 401 00:19:02,294 --> 00:19:05,053 Yeah. He'd be like, "What are you talking about? Just go on QI." 402 00:19:05,053 --> 00:19:06,373 Yeah, exactly. Exactly. 403 00:19:06,373 --> 00:19:08,333 Don't even need to make silhouettes. 404 00:19:08,333 --> 00:19:10,613 Although tonight we can make rubbish and silhouettes, 405 00:19:10,613 --> 00:19:12,612 because I think Charles has finished. Darling, 406 00:19:12,612 --> 00:19:14,892 are you going to reveal for us? I can reveal for you, yes. 407 00:19:14,892 --> 00:19:17,332 Oh, right. So we'll have Victoria first. OK. 408 00:19:17,332 --> 00:19:19,571 There she is. There we are, there you are. 409 00:19:19,571 --> 00:19:20,731 Oh! Wow! 410 00:19:20,731 --> 00:19:22,811 Cute. Ah, clever. Yeah, amazing. APPLAUSE 411 00:19:24,211 --> 00:19:27,770 Could you just, just take a couple of inches off the nose? 412 00:19:27,770 --> 00:19:29,130 Just bring... 413 00:19:29,130 --> 00:19:30,850 LAUGHTER 414 00:19:30,850 --> 00:19:32,489 Right, shall we do Alan? 415 00:19:33,489 --> 00:19:35,689 Oh! Oh, wow! Yes. That's great! 416 00:19:35,689 --> 00:19:38,609 Oh, that's very good. Wow, you look at the little hair detail 417 00:19:38,609 --> 00:19:40,688 at the top, even. That's amazing. APPLAUSE 418 00:19:40,688 --> 00:19:43,488 That's very clever. Uh, Eshaan. 419 00:19:43,488 --> 00:19:46,047 As long as I don't look like Romesh in this one. Right. 420 00:19:46,047 --> 00:19:48,247 LAUGHTER 421 00:19:50,367 --> 00:19:53,046 Pff! 422 00:19:55,086 --> 00:19:56,846 I-I look so much older. 423 00:19:56,846 --> 00:19:59,845 But the glasses are so brilliant. Yeah. Yeah, the glasses are great. 424 00:19:59,845 --> 00:20:02,525 That's so clever. Right, Johnny, let's try you, darling. 425 00:20:04,085 --> 00:20:06,285 Oh! Oh, look at that. You handsome devil. 426 00:20:06,285 --> 00:20:07,604 So handsome. Yeah, amazing. 427 00:20:10,284 --> 00:20:11,804 That's brilliant. 428 00:20:11,804 --> 00:20:14,283 You're so handsome, even as a cut-out. Lovely. Wow! 429 00:20:14,283 --> 00:20:16,843 I think those are brilliant. That's so clever. 430 00:20:16,843 --> 00:20:19,363 You were literally just doing that with a pair of scissors? 431 00:20:19,363 --> 00:20:21,962 Yes, I have, yes. It's amazing. A freehand cut with scissors. 432 00:20:21,962 --> 00:20:24,482 Because I can't even cut a straight line on wrapping paper. 433 00:20:24,482 --> 00:20:25,842 Straight lines are much harder. 434 00:20:25,842 --> 00:20:27,361 I think you're a secret Doctor Who. 435 00:20:27,361 --> 00:20:30,201 You've got the coat, you've got the look. You're a secret Doctor. 436 00:20:30,201 --> 00:20:33,201 Yeah. Now, this contains everything I need. See?! 437 00:20:33,201 --> 00:20:35,960 Charles, it's been such a pleasure. Thank you for coming in. 438 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:38,480 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 439 00:20:42,679 --> 00:20:45,439 Right. What's a McKinley grip? 440 00:20:45,439 --> 00:20:47,039 Ooh. Oh... 441 00:20:47,039 --> 00:20:50,598 So, the whole show is shade and shake. 442 00:20:50,598 --> 00:20:52,278 A shaky grip? A shaky grip... 443 00:20:52,278 --> 00:20:54,558 Is it? A shaky grip, yeah. So what do we do? 444 00:20:54,558 --> 00:20:56,517 We shake parts of our body, we shake...? 445 00:20:56,517 --> 00:21:00,957 The only McKinley that I know is William McKinley, 446 00:21:00,957 --> 00:21:02,596 the President of the United States? 447 00:21:02,596 --> 00:21:05,396 Absolutely right, is the McKinley grip, yeah. He was assassinated. 448 00:21:05,396 --> 00:21:07,796 Yes, he was, yeah. I don't know if he was a Mason or whatever, 449 00:21:07,796 --> 00:21:09,315 but I know he's a Republican. 450 00:21:09,315 --> 00:21:11,275 So there might have been a secret handshake? 451 00:21:11,275 --> 00:21:12,355 It wasn't a secret, 452 00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:14,795 it was that he was fantastically good at shaking hands. 453 00:21:14,795 --> 00:21:17,274 There was a tradition throughout the 19th century 454 00:21:17,274 --> 00:21:19,954 in the United States that if anybody wanted to, they could turn up 455 00:21:19,954 --> 00:21:22,794 at the White House on New Year's Day and shake the President's hand. 456 00:21:22,794 --> 00:21:26,913 And President McKinley was, he was in office 1897 to 1901, 457 00:21:26,913 --> 00:21:30,152 he was an enthusiastic hand-shaker, said to have once shaken 458 00:21:30,152 --> 00:21:34,232 5,000 hands in a single session, but it had to be quick. 459 00:21:34,232 --> 00:21:36,592 So he developed something called the McKinley grip. 460 00:21:36,592 --> 00:21:39,871 What you do is, you give a beaming smile, you grab somebody's hand 461 00:21:39,871 --> 00:21:42,871 before they have a chance to take yours, you give it a swift squeeze. 462 00:21:42,871 --> 00:21:46,230 In your other hand you take hold of the elbow and push them away. 463 00:21:46,230 --> 00:21:48,550 Ah. Oh, yeah. OK. 464 00:21:48,550 --> 00:21:52,229 This was the McKinley grip, just get rid of them, like that. 465 00:21:52,229 --> 00:21:54,789 What a metaphor for all social interaction! I know. 466 00:21:54,789 --> 00:21:57,149 How hysterical. "Come here, go away." 467 00:21:57,149 --> 00:21:59,908 But you're quite right, he was engaged in just such a thing 468 00:21:59,908 --> 00:22:02,468 when he was murdered. September 6th, 1901, 469 00:22:02,468 --> 00:22:03,708 he was in Buffalo, New York, 470 00:22:03,708 --> 00:22:07,867 at the Pan-American Exposition, when an anarchist called Leon Czolgosz 471 00:22:07,867 --> 00:22:11,107 turned up and he had his right hand covered with a handkerchief. 472 00:22:11,107 --> 00:22:13,626 And the President thought he had some injury or other, 473 00:22:13,626 --> 00:22:15,146 but in fact he shot him point blank. 474 00:22:15,146 --> 00:22:17,186 He died of infection about eight days later. 475 00:22:17,186 --> 00:22:20,345 Now, here's the thing, we shake hands, we also shake heads. 476 00:22:20,345 --> 00:22:22,945 I think we've said this before on this show, Alan. 477 00:22:22,945 --> 00:22:27,184 Some countries, like Bulgaria, they shake for yes and nod for no. 478 00:22:27,184 --> 00:22:29,224 So we're going to try a little experiment. 479 00:22:29,224 --> 00:22:31,584 I'm going to ask you a series of quickfire questions 480 00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:32,823 with yes or no answers, right? 481 00:22:32,823 --> 00:22:35,343 You have to answer immediately, but whatever answer you give 482 00:22:35,343 --> 00:22:37,863 with your voice, you have to give the opposite with your head. 483 00:22:37,863 --> 00:22:41,222 Ah... OK. And I'll ping my pinger if you get it wrong. 484 00:22:41,222 --> 00:22:43,982 Does everybody understand? You pinging your pinger? 485 00:22:43,982 --> 00:22:46,222 No, I'm just asking. Yes, I do understand. Yes. 486 00:22:46,222 --> 00:22:48,821 Yes. Just I'm trying to catch you out, that's all. Yes, damn it. 487 00:22:48,821 --> 00:22:51,901 OK, all right, ready. John, was the first James Bond film 488 00:22:51,901 --> 00:22:53,340 the one about the Doctor? 489 00:22:55,940 --> 00:22:57,700 Yes. 490 00:22:59,900 --> 00:23:01,499 I don't know. That's right. 491 00:23:01,499 --> 00:23:04,819 Is it right? Yes. What was the name of the Doctor? Yes, Doctor No. 492 00:23:06,899 --> 00:23:09,298 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 493 00:23:10,658 --> 00:23:13,098 Eshaan, do you know what band featured 494 00:23:13,098 --> 00:23:15,337 the keyboard player Rick Wakeman? 495 00:23:15,337 --> 00:23:16,577 LAUGHTER 496 00:23:16,577 --> 00:23:18,817 No. You don't know? 497 00:23:18,817 --> 00:23:20,497 No. OK. 498 00:23:20,497 --> 00:23:22,816 But it's... It's... It's... It's...? It's... 499 00:23:22,816 --> 00:23:24,296 Yes. 500 00:23:24,296 --> 00:23:26,296 The band is called Yes. 501 00:23:26,296 --> 00:23:29,735 Yes is the band. But you didn't know. I... No. 502 00:23:34,055 --> 00:23:36,534 This would be a great drinking game! It is. 503 00:23:36,534 --> 00:23:39,534 Yeah, very weird. Victoria, do you know what it means when you nod? 504 00:23:40,694 --> 00:23:42,893 Do I know what it means when you nod? 505 00:23:42,893 --> 00:23:45,893 Yes, I know what it means. 506 00:23:45,893 --> 00:23:49,292 Or, yes, I KNOW what it means. KNOW what it means. 507 00:23:49,292 --> 00:23:51,292 Alan, have you stopped kicking the dog? 508 00:23:52,812 --> 00:23:55,412 Yes. I never kick the dog! Yeah. 509 00:23:55,412 --> 00:23:58,651 It's quite complicated, isn't it? It's quite, it's quite weird. 510 00:23:58,651 --> 00:24:01,451 Yes. Nobody knows why the Bulgarians do it the other way round. 511 00:24:01,451 --> 00:24:04,170 So, there's a folk tale that they were forced to 512 00:24:04,170 --> 00:24:06,810 change their religion by invaders, and so they pretended 513 00:24:06,810 --> 00:24:09,570 no meant yes when they were interrogated about their faith. 514 00:24:09,570 --> 00:24:12,009 It's a bit like crossing your fingers when you tell a lie. 515 00:24:12,009 --> 00:24:13,769 That's great. I did a movie in Bulgaria, 516 00:24:13,769 --> 00:24:15,049 and I was diving in the movie, 517 00:24:15,049 --> 00:24:17,288 and that was part of the reason I also got the movie, 518 00:24:17,288 --> 00:24:19,888 because I was, I'm a registered diver. 519 00:24:19,888 --> 00:24:21,768 They said I had to go in this big tank. 520 00:24:21,768 --> 00:24:26,247 And I was given a small canister with oxygen in it. 521 00:24:26,247 --> 00:24:30,207 I would breathe, put the oxygen away, then escape from the tank. 522 00:24:30,207 --> 00:24:33,806 But I went down and I said to the guy, "Is it unlocked?" 523 00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:35,886 And he went, "Yes." 524 00:24:37,046 --> 00:24:39,125 Like I'm not going down. 525 00:24:39,125 --> 00:24:42,605 And he's like...I'm, "Is it locked?" "Yes, it is." 526 00:24:42,605 --> 00:24:45,284 What was the film, darling? Oh, you don't want to know. 527 00:24:45,284 --> 00:24:47,124 No, I really want to see it. Yeah, we do. 528 00:24:47,124 --> 00:24:49,804 It's called Shark Attack 3: Megalodon. 529 00:24:49,804 --> 00:24:52,203 LAUGHTER 530 00:24:52,203 --> 00:24:53,843 Oh, my. 531 00:24:53,843 --> 00:24:57,003 All I'll say is that it bought me my first place. 532 00:24:57,003 --> 00:25:00,442 There's an even more, apparently ambiguous, is the head bobble. 533 00:25:00,442 --> 00:25:02,602 So this is a form of nonverbal communication. 534 00:25:02,602 --> 00:25:05,042 It's commonly found in India, Pakistan and Sri Lanka. 535 00:25:05,042 --> 00:25:06,361 So, according to... 536 00:25:06,361 --> 00:25:08,001 Hi, guys! 537 00:25:09,241 --> 00:25:11,081 I'm looking at John. 538 00:25:11,081 --> 00:25:14,960 According to a behaviourist from Tamil Nadu, Pradeep Chakravarthy, 539 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,880 it may have evolved to give a deliberately ambiguous signal. 540 00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,679 So it's sort of you can disagree with somebody while not saying 541 00:25:20,679 --> 00:25:23,639 anything. Yes, that's the head bobble. It means, yes, no, maybe. 542 00:25:23,639 --> 00:25:26,438 It means everything, really. OK. They do it in Bangladesh as well. 543 00:25:26,438 --> 00:25:28,598 Right. But you're being noncommittal, is that it? 544 00:25:28,598 --> 00:25:30,838 Yeah, and... Just do it and I'll give you the verbal. 545 00:25:30,838 --> 00:25:34,157 The movement is more from the chin, actually. Right. So it's just a... 546 00:25:34,157 --> 00:25:35,477 Yas queen. 547 00:25:35,477 --> 00:25:37,997 Cos my parents would use it with me as well. Every time when I was like, 548 00:25:37,997 --> 00:25:39,517 "Oh, Mum, can I go out with my friends?" 549 00:25:39,517 --> 00:25:42,556 She'd be like, "Yeah. No. Maybe." 550 00:25:42,556 --> 00:25:45,876 I went to India one time and lots of people did that and it is... 551 00:25:45,876 --> 00:25:49,675 It is something that is really non-confrontational is what I... 552 00:25:49,675 --> 00:25:51,675 Yeah. Sort of diffusing things. I quite like it. 553 00:25:51,675 --> 00:25:55,274 I mean, the last time I was on, I talked about Bollywood dancing and I'm doing it again. 554 00:25:55,274 --> 00:25:59,554 But, this neck move is very clearly kind of like a no, isn't it? 555 00:25:59,554 --> 00:26:01,113 You know it's a no. Hm. 556 00:26:01,113 --> 00:26:03,753 Well, I would, in the gay world we'd disagree. 557 00:26:03,753 --> 00:26:06,193 That's like, "Get over here!" 558 00:26:06,193 --> 00:26:07,753 That's pretty good! 559 00:26:07,753 --> 00:26:10,472 That is great. Yas queen. 560 00:26:10,472 --> 00:26:12,272 Yes. No. 561 00:26:12,272 --> 00:26:15,911 Is there any gesture that ISN'T that?! 562 00:26:15,911 --> 00:26:18,191 I'll do gay Bollywood. You do gay Bollywood. 563 00:26:20,351 --> 00:26:23,630 So the head bobble. Yeah, the head bobble is from the chin, I think. 564 00:26:23,630 --> 00:26:27,630 From the chin. It's really hard. That's pretty good actually, Alan. 565 00:26:27,630 --> 00:26:30,509 That's a good one. It's a very relaxed thing. 566 00:26:30,509 --> 00:26:32,469 No. I mean, I look like I'm trying 567 00:26:32,469 --> 00:26:34,389 to decide which kind of herring 568 00:26:34,389 --> 00:26:37,428 to have for dinner. That's really, that's... 569 00:26:37,428 --> 00:26:40,348 Right, here's a pretty shady way to carry on. 570 00:26:40,348 --> 00:26:44,227 What's the best way to sabotage a sewage system? 571 00:26:44,227 --> 00:26:46,387 # Shadow... # 572 00:26:46,387 --> 00:26:49,866 # Of your smile. # It begins with S, I'm going to say. 573 00:26:49,866 --> 00:26:52,386 S? Yes. Shit. Oh, I was going to say blocking. 574 00:26:52,386 --> 00:26:55,346 but there you go. 575 00:26:52,386 --> 00:26:55,346 LAUGHTER 576 00:26:55,346 --> 00:26:57,905 Oh, you're not going to flash "shit" at me, are you?! 577 00:26:59,265 --> 00:27:00,665 What were you going to say? 578 00:27:00,665 --> 00:27:03,145 It was similar to that, let me have a drunken kebab. 579 00:27:03,145 --> 00:27:05,104 Right, and that would be the way forward? Yeah. 580 00:27:05,104 --> 00:27:07,824 Have you ever been sabotaged? No. Anything ever happened to you? 581 00:27:07,824 --> 00:27:09,424 I've... Speaking of shit. 582 00:27:09,424 --> 00:27:12,103 And you've pooped in Hampstead Heath. 583 00:27:12,103 --> 00:27:16,183 It is well-known. How is this still coming up?! 584 00:27:18,422 --> 00:27:20,782 That was a number of years ago now! 585 00:27:20,782 --> 00:27:22,702 Oh, it is still there! 586 00:27:22,702 --> 00:27:26,661 Since lockdown, most of Hempstead has gone at least once on the Heath. 587 00:27:26,661 --> 00:27:29,141 Yeah, that's true. Since they shut all the toilets. 588 00:27:29,141 --> 00:27:32,500 You know it is now called wild toileting? Is it? Yeah. 589 00:27:32,500 --> 00:27:34,740 I was doing a show in Nashville, Tennessee where 590 00:27:34,740 --> 00:27:36,780 I was dressed in white polyester. 591 00:27:36,780 --> 00:27:38,819 It was the '80s. And... 592 00:27:38,819 --> 00:27:41,859 To qualify. To qualify. 593 00:27:41,859 --> 00:27:46,378 And I was doing a number called I Got Rhythm. 594 00:27:46,378 --> 00:27:49,098 And I felt like a little rumble in my tummy 595 00:27:49,098 --> 00:27:50,778 and I thought, I'm just going to fart. 596 00:27:50,778 --> 00:27:52,897 And I just felt heat. No! 597 00:27:52,897 --> 00:27:55,097 Heat in my polyester white pants. Oh! 598 00:27:55,097 --> 00:27:58,857 I kept kicking and I was trying to get offstage, still kicking, 599 00:27:58,857 --> 00:28:01,296 still the professional, still singing and kicking. 600 00:28:01,296 --> 00:28:03,536 I was spraying the audience... Oh! 601 00:28:06,415 --> 00:28:07,735 Brilliant! 602 00:28:07,735 --> 00:28:11,815 I literally got off stage and my understudy was laughing backstage. 603 00:28:11,815 --> 00:28:17,214 He'd put Ex-Lax... No! Yes! Which is a laxative in my drinking water. 604 00:28:17,214 --> 00:28:18,934 And I literally... 605 00:28:18,934 --> 00:28:24,693 My bowels emptied on stage in my pants, in my white polyester... 606 00:28:24,693 --> 00:28:26,813 In the front row. And I still felt fabulous. 607 00:28:26,813 --> 00:28:28,412 And the front row knew about it. 608 00:28:30,172 --> 00:28:33,012 That was really a shitty performance! 609 00:28:33,012 --> 00:28:36,291 LAUGHTER 610 00:28:36,291 --> 00:28:38,531 Can we get a silhouette of that? 611 00:28:39,851 --> 00:28:43,210 I think that might be the worst thing I've ever heard. 612 00:28:43,210 --> 00:28:47,370 Anyway... None of that has anything to do with the answer. 613 00:28:48,729 --> 00:28:53,449 In 1944, the US Office of Strategic Services, that's 614 00:28:53,449 --> 00:28:57,128 the sort of predecessor organisation to the CIA, produced this. 615 00:28:57,128 --> 00:29:00,328 And it's a Simple Sabotage Field Manual. 616 00:29:00,328 --> 00:29:02,727 Oh. And it's a guide to a range of different ways where 617 00:29:02,727 --> 00:29:05,687 you can undermine the enemy's... their economy, their morale, 618 00:29:05,687 --> 00:29:07,567 their military offensiveness, and so on. 619 00:29:07,567 --> 00:29:10,966 And it's fantastic in the scope of stuff in this rather narrow book. 620 00:29:10,966 --> 00:29:13,526 Demolishing bridges, how to cause trouble, 621 00:29:13,526 --> 00:29:15,725 quarrels on public transport, that kind of thing. 622 00:29:15,725 --> 00:29:18,045 So here's how to sabotage a lavatory. 623 00:29:18,045 --> 00:29:22,525 So, what you do is you saturate a sponge, OK, 624 00:29:22,525 --> 00:29:25,524 with a thick starch or sugar solution, right? 625 00:29:25,524 --> 00:29:28,924 You squeeze it tightly until it is a ball. 626 00:29:28,924 --> 00:29:32,243 You wrap it with string to keep it in the ball and then you let it dry. 627 00:29:32,243 --> 00:29:35,363 And once it is dry, you remove the string 628 00:29:35,363 --> 00:29:37,962 and you flush it down the lavatory. 629 00:29:37,962 --> 00:29:41,882 The sponge will gradually expand back to its normal size 630 00:29:41,882 --> 00:29:44,841 and it will entirely plug the sewage system. 631 00:29:44,841 --> 00:29:46,681 Oh. And why would you want to do that? 632 00:29:46,681 --> 00:29:48,921 Yeah, I was just... If you want to mess with your enemy, 633 00:29:48,921 --> 00:29:51,360 mess with their toilets. Oh. Yeah. 634 00:29:51,360 --> 00:29:52,800 I mean, it's really simple. It's... 635 00:29:52,800 --> 00:29:56,000 Or just shit straight on their faces from the stage! Exactly! 636 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,199 You know. Cut out the middleman. 637 00:29:58,199 --> 00:30:02,639 So, some of the stuff they suggest, it's like schoolboy pranks in here. 638 00:30:02,639 --> 00:30:04,838 Yeah. But it's just stuff that the enemy would go, 639 00:30:04,838 --> 00:30:07,278 "Oh, now the toilets are backed up in the main office! 640 00:30:07,278 --> 00:30:09,718 "It's just annoying." So let's try. 641 00:30:09,718 --> 00:30:11,238 The lighting system in a factory, 642 00:30:11,238 --> 00:30:13,837 how would you sabotage the lighting system in a factory? 643 00:30:13,837 --> 00:30:17,597 Cut a wire? No, it's got to be more subtle than that, you see. Oh. 644 00:30:17,597 --> 00:30:20,556 So what you do is, you turn the lights off, unscrew a light bulb, 645 00:30:20,556 --> 00:30:23,276 put a coin into the socket, put the light bulb back in again. 646 00:30:23,276 --> 00:30:25,955 As soon as somebody turns it on, the whole system will blow. 647 00:30:25,955 --> 00:30:27,595 Because of the copper. Yeah. 648 00:30:27,595 --> 00:30:30,515 I mean, it's... I'm going to do that to some of my mates' houses. Don't, 649 00:30:30,515 --> 00:30:33,474 I mean, it's terrible. Electricians and plumbers back in the day would 650 00:30:33,474 --> 00:30:36,034 have been making an absolute killing. Yeah, just stick a coin 651 00:30:36,034 --> 00:30:38,794 in it. "Oh, it's a sponge, it's a coin," and they charge you 600 quid 652 00:30:38,794 --> 00:30:41,273 for the privilege. What about the petrol tank of a vehicle? 653 00:30:41,273 --> 00:30:42,473 Oh, that's sugar, isn't it? 654 00:30:42,473 --> 00:30:45,233 You can do sugar or you can urinate in it, if you haven't got sugar. 655 00:30:45,233 --> 00:30:46,672 Oh. Urine?! Yeah, just wee in it. 656 00:30:46,672 --> 00:30:48,432 I don't know why I'm giving all this away. 657 00:30:48,432 --> 00:30:49,992 Please don't do any of these things. 658 00:30:49,992 --> 00:30:52,472 I've heard of them putting, like, a potato in the exhaust. 659 00:30:52,472 --> 00:30:53,631 Yeah, I've heard of that. 660 00:30:53,631 --> 00:30:56,631 I like this, the one in here that I think would only work in Britain. 661 00:30:56,631 --> 00:30:59,071 "To start an argument on a train, if you work for the railway, 662 00:30:59,071 --> 00:31:02,110 "issue two tickets for the same seat." Ah, yes. 663 00:31:02,110 --> 00:31:04,870 That's every day. Yeah. Yes. 664 00:31:04,870 --> 00:31:08,709 Moving on. What use are shadows anyway? 665 00:31:08,709 --> 00:31:10,989 Oh, look at them! Oh. 666 00:31:10,989 --> 00:31:14,588 It is nothing to do with music, it is everything to do with... 667 00:31:14,588 --> 00:31:16,308 What would you use a shadow for? 668 00:31:16,308 --> 00:31:20,668 Discipline. What? Is that what they called the cane in your school? 669 00:31:20,668 --> 00:31:22,747 The shadow? No, no, no. 670 00:31:22,747 --> 00:31:25,547 "You will see the shadow, my friend!" 671 00:31:25,547 --> 00:31:27,786 No, no, no. 672 00:31:27,786 --> 00:31:30,946 When I was like six or seven years old, I used to go to mosque 673 00:31:30,946 --> 00:31:33,866 and before we used to go for the evening prayers at sunset, we 674 00:31:33,866 --> 00:31:36,745 would hang out in the park because we were cool, young Muslim boys. 675 00:31:36,745 --> 00:31:40,025 And on one particular day, one of the kids said, 676 00:31:40,025 --> 00:31:44,024 "The longer your shadow is, the more sin you've committed. 677 00:31:44,024 --> 00:31:45,584 "So you are going to go to hell." 678 00:31:45,584 --> 00:31:48,184 And so, of course, as the sun was setting, our shadows get longer 679 00:31:48,184 --> 00:31:49,783 and you would see six or seven of us 680 00:31:49,783 --> 00:31:53,783 just running around trying to get the shadow as small as possible. 681 00:31:53,783 --> 00:31:56,502 Then... I found bacon and so... 682 00:31:59,342 --> 00:32:01,782 It's weird you can use your shadow to work out what time it is. 683 00:32:01,782 --> 00:32:05,301 It is to do with time, so I have here, for example, 684 00:32:05,301 --> 00:32:08,101 a pocket sundial. 685 00:32:08,101 --> 00:32:11,180 And if you raise up this little part here, 686 00:32:11,180 --> 00:32:12,580 you would be able to tell the... 687 00:32:12,580 --> 00:32:14,980 I mean, you could just wear a watch, is the other way of doing it. 688 00:32:14,980 --> 00:32:18,179 But this is an old way of doing it. It's got a compass and a shadow. 689 00:32:18,179 --> 00:32:19,819 The thing about this is it would give 690 00:32:19,819 --> 00:32:21,619 a very crude approximation of the time. 691 00:32:21,619 --> 00:32:23,818 The larger it is, the more accurate it is going to be. 692 00:32:23,818 --> 00:32:27,778 The one that possibly would give you the best time at 22.6m, 693 00:32:27,778 --> 00:32:30,098 it is about 75 foot high - Vrihat Samrat Yantra. 694 00:32:30,098 --> 00:32:33,657 It is the "great king of instruments" in Jaipur. 695 00:32:33,657 --> 00:32:35,257 It was completed in 1734 696 00:32:35,257 --> 00:32:37,696 and it gives the time accurate to two seconds. 697 00:32:37,696 --> 00:32:39,136 Wow. Wow. 698 00:32:39,136 --> 00:32:41,856 I know! It's amazing. So the shadow moves at a millimetre per second. 699 00:32:41,856 --> 00:32:45,295 It is fast enough to see. I think that is incredible. 700 00:32:45,295 --> 00:32:48,655 And then the shadow of the even taller Sundial Bridge, 701 00:32:48,655 --> 00:32:51,254 that is over the Sacramento River in Redding, California, 702 00:32:51,254 --> 00:32:54,334 moves at 5mm/s. It's a stunning thing. 703 00:32:54,334 --> 00:32:57,494 That one, in Sacramento? Yes. Well, it's in Redding, California. 704 00:32:57,494 --> 00:32:59,533 It is the Sacramento River. 705 00:32:59,533 --> 00:33:01,013 Smaller, but no less impressive, 706 00:33:01,013 --> 00:33:03,053 and I certainly would like one for the garden, 707 00:33:03,053 --> 00:33:04,253 were the sundial cannons. 708 00:33:04,253 --> 00:33:08,532 This is a sort of niche accessory from the 17th to the 19th century. 709 00:33:08,532 --> 00:33:12,571 It is a sundial with a magnifying glass positioned on it 710 00:33:12,571 --> 00:33:14,851 to concentrate the sun's rays at midday. 711 00:33:14,851 --> 00:33:18,251 So that it would go down onto some gunpowder and fire a cannon! 712 00:33:18,251 --> 00:33:19,810 Who doesn't want one of those?! 713 00:33:19,810 --> 00:33:21,730 You wouldn't want to be standing in front of it. No. 714 00:33:21,730 --> 00:33:24,290 There was one in the Palais Royal in Paris. 715 00:33:24,290 --> 00:33:27,129 Used to go off at midday. People used to go and watch. 716 00:33:27,129 --> 00:33:30,249 And the only one remaining that is functioning is the sun 717 00:33:30,249 --> 00:33:32,609 cannon in Atvidaberg, Sweden. 718 00:33:32,609 --> 00:33:35,128 You can use shadows to power a digital watch. 719 00:33:35,128 --> 00:33:38,128 So the scientists at the University of Singapore have 720 00:33:38,128 --> 00:33:40,847 unveiled their shadow-effect energy generator. 721 00:33:40,847 --> 00:33:43,047 And when it is completely in shadow or fully in light, 722 00:33:43,047 --> 00:33:45,647 it produces a very low amount of electricity or nothing at all 723 00:33:45,647 --> 00:33:48,686 and it is the contrast between shadow and light that makes it work. 724 00:33:48,686 --> 00:33:52,966 And it generates enough current to power a digital watch. 725 00:33:52,966 --> 00:33:55,485 Why is it best to weigh yourself in the dark? 726 00:33:55,485 --> 00:33:57,565 So you don't know how much you have eaten? 727 00:33:59,205 --> 00:34:01,964 I presume when you say best, you mean it gives you a lower reading? 728 00:34:01,964 --> 00:34:05,884 It does. So light falling onto a surface exerts a tiny amount of pressure. 729 00:34:05,884 --> 00:34:09,083 That's what it is. I know! You would think... 730 00:34:09,083 --> 00:34:13,283 Your bathroom is too bright. Too bright! 731 00:34:13,283 --> 00:34:14,922 Tiny amounts of pressure. 732 00:34:14,922 --> 00:34:17,722 If you remove light from a surface, you remove that tiny 733 00:34:17,722 --> 00:34:22,001 amount of pressure and this pressure can be used to power spacecraft. 734 00:34:22,001 --> 00:34:25,921 So the Japanese IKAROS is a spacecraft that was launched 735 00:34:25,921 --> 00:34:27,881 in May 2010... Icarus? 736 00:34:27,881 --> 00:34:30,040 That is not a spacecraft I would get on. 737 00:34:31,920 --> 00:34:36,119 Stands for the Interplanetary Kite-craft Accelerated by Radiation Of the Sun. 738 00:34:36,119 --> 00:34:37,679 Of course. It is an acronym. 739 00:34:37,679 --> 00:34:39,839 It has a 46 foot square sail, 740 00:34:39,839 --> 00:34:42,239 which uses light pressure plus the solar wind 741 00:34:42,239 --> 00:34:43,718 as its means of propulsion. 742 00:34:43,718 --> 00:34:45,758 Wow, that's amazing. I know! 743 00:34:45,758 --> 00:34:47,558 Cos you only need a small amount of power 744 00:34:47,558 --> 00:34:49,797 as there is no resistance in space. So it's enough. 745 00:34:49,797 --> 00:34:52,957 And so we descend into the shadowy realm of shaky misunderstandings 746 00:34:52,957 --> 00:34:54,877 that we call General Ignorance. 747 00:34:54,877 --> 00:34:56,676 Fingers on buzzers, please. 748 00:34:56,676 --> 00:34:59,276 I'm looking forward to my summer holiday, 749 00:34:59,276 --> 00:35:02,996 how can I prepare to get a nice, deep suntan without burning? 750 00:35:02,996 --> 00:35:05,795 Sun lotion? Would you not, sun cream? 751 00:35:05,795 --> 00:35:09,235 Yes, probably the very correct answer, my darling, yes. 752 00:35:09,235 --> 00:35:12,834 People used to think that the idea was to lay down a sort of base tan, 753 00:35:12,834 --> 00:35:15,074 possibly in a tanning salon or something. 754 00:35:15,074 --> 00:35:17,833 And it's a widespread thought, but it is entirely wrong. 755 00:35:17,833 --> 00:35:21,193 The only way you can protect yourself is with suntan lotion. 756 00:35:21,193 --> 00:35:23,993 Or clothes. Clothes, but not, or you and I would just sit in the shade, 757 00:35:23,993 --> 00:35:26,112 wouldn't we, Alan? Drinking heavily. 758 00:35:26,112 --> 00:35:29,032 So they wanted to demonstrate this, so they needed some skin that 759 00:35:29,032 --> 00:35:33,071 had zero exposure to the sun, so they chose British bottoms. 760 00:35:33,071 --> 00:35:36,711 Yeah. And they were exposed to simulated sunlight. 761 00:35:36,711 --> 00:35:38,950 They replicate conditions at the centre of the Earth. 762 00:35:38,950 --> 00:35:41,190 I know, exactly. Can I just say what an awful 763 00:35:41,190 --> 00:35:44,070 representation of the United States of America that picture is? 764 00:35:44,070 --> 00:35:46,909 Yeah. It's not pretty, is it? No! No. 765 00:35:46,909 --> 00:35:48,949 Would you or wouldn't you, Victoria? 766 00:35:51,829 --> 00:35:53,428 I think he looks all right. 767 00:35:55,308 --> 00:35:57,028 Anyway... 768 00:35:59,267 --> 00:36:02,547 Two weeks they spent with simulated sunlight on naked buttocks, 769 00:36:02,547 --> 00:36:05,267 and the resulting tan gave them a tiny bit of protection. 770 00:36:05,267 --> 00:36:08,146 Basically it meant you could spend an extra ten minutes in the sun. 771 00:36:08,146 --> 00:36:11,106 And tanning parlour sun beds are really as bad 772 00:36:11,106 --> 00:36:12,905 if not worse than natural sunlight. 773 00:36:12,905 --> 00:36:16,945 Indeed, indoor tanning causes about 420,000 cases of skin cancer 774 00:36:16,945 --> 00:36:19,744 a year in the US alone. What?! Yeah. 775 00:36:19,744 --> 00:36:21,224 If you go to indoor tanning place 776 00:36:21,224 --> 00:36:23,864 and you think that is going to save you from getting skin cancer because 777 00:36:23,864 --> 00:36:27,383 you've got a base tan, it probably is going to exacerbate the chances 778 00:36:27,383 --> 00:36:29,543 of you getting skin cancer because you think you are safe, 779 00:36:29,543 --> 00:36:31,583 so you think you can lie out in the sun for a bit longer. 780 00:36:31,583 --> 00:36:33,942 And I'm from Essex, so this is a good public service message. 781 00:36:33,942 --> 00:36:37,902 Yes, darling. And you're the one who said suntan lotion, so well done you! Thank you. 782 00:36:37,902 --> 00:36:40,861 Now, why do you call it the dark side of the moon? 783 00:36:42,581 --> 00:36:47,221 Oh, The Clangers, look at them! HE IMITATES THE CLANGERS 784 00:36:47,221 --> 00:36:49,380 Because it's the title of the album. 785 00:36:49,380 --> 00:36:51,660 Which album, darling? The Pink Floyd album. 786 00:36:51,660 --> 00:36:56,019 OK, in the words of Pink Floyd, there is no dark side of the moon. 787 00:36:56,019 --> 00:36:59,459 The reason we can't see the far side of the moon is that the moon 788 00:36:59,459 --> 00:37:02,658 is tidally locked to the Earth. So let me show you. 789 00:37:04,378 --> 00:37:05,858 Oh, I love a visual. 790 00:37:05,858 --> 00:37:07,898 So, here is the moon and you can see 791 00:37:07,898 --> 00:37:10,137 that it is facing towards the Earth. 792 00:37:10,137 --> 00:37:13,297 You can't see that arrow, can you, because where we are on Earth, 793 00:37:13,297 --> 00:37:15,456 you just see the point of it, but it is invisible. 794 00:37:15,456 --> 00:37:17,856 But it is there! 795 00:37:17,856 --> 00:37:20,736 If you look at the moon, 796 00:37:20,736 --> 00:37:25,015 because of the way the moon orbits the Earth, we only ever see one 797 00:37:25,015 --> 00:37:28,975 side of it, but that doesn't mean that the unseen side is always dark. 798 00:37:28,975 --> 00:37:32,334 Because the moon is orbiting the Earth and they are both orbiting the 799 00:37:32,334 --> 00:37:35,494 Sun, so all the sides of the moon end up facing the Sun 800 00:37:35,494 --> 00:37:36,933 at various times. 801 00:37:36,933 --> 00:37:40,373 There are bits of the moon which are in permanent darkness. 802 00:37:40,373 --> 00:37:43,332 There's a sort of crater of eternal darkness. 803 00:37:43,332 --> 00:37:46,132 It is a bit like why Lochranza is Shady Town, where we started. 804 00:37:46,132 --> 00:37:48,572 "Crater of eternal darkness." 805 00:37:48,572 --> 00:37:50,052 I'm going to call my house that. 806 00:37:50,052 --> 00:37:52,771 Crater of eternal darkness! 807 00:37:52,771 --> 00:37:56,371 "Hello, crater of eternal darkness. 808 00:37:56,371 --> 00:37:57,850 "Yes, we deliver." 809 00:37:57,850 --> 00:38:00,370 It's a great name for a restaurant. 810 00:38:00,370 --> 00:38:03,650 It's a place called the Shackleton crater at the moon's South Pole 811 00:38:03,650 --> 00:38:06,129 and it receives no sunlight 812 00:38:06,129 --> 00:38:08,529 because it is so deep and so close to the pole. 813 00:38:08,529 --> 00:38:10,769 The opposite of this is the peak of eternal light, which is 814 00:38:10,769 --> 00:38:12,048 what I'm going to call my house. 815 00:38:12,048 --> 00:38:14,248 Somewhere where there is always sunlight 816 00:38:14,248 --> 00:38:16,368 and we haven't found that yet on the moon. 817 00:38:16,368 --> 00:38:19,247 Oddly enough, the rim of the Shackleton crater gets pretty close, 818 00:38:19,247 --> 00:38:21,287 it is sunny 94% of the time. 819 00:38:21,287 --> 00:38:23,807 But the actual crater itself is... Is not. 820 00:38:23,807 --> 00:38:25,606 Is not at all. 821 00:38:25,606 --> 00:38:30,726 Now, pause for thought. What happens to your pores in a sauna? 822 00:38:30,726 --> 00:38:34,805 When they warm up, do they open up and when it is cold they close up? 823 00:38:34,805 --> 00:38:36,845 KLAXON SOUNDS 824 00:38:39,764 --> 00:38:40,884 OK, so here is the thing. 825 00:38:40,884 --> 00:38:44,084 Pores allow us to sweat and so that regulates body temperature. 826 00:38:44,084 --> 00:38:47,203 But they don't have muscles. They cannot open and close. 827 00:38:47,203 --> 00:38:49,763 So if you want to use warm water, for example, 828 00:38:49,763 --> 00:38:52,203 that cleans your pores, it doesn't change their size. 829 00:38:52,203 --> 00:38:53,242 At all. OK. 830 00:38:53,242 --> 00:38:56,482 They do and can increase in size as you age, 831 00:38:56,482 --> 00:39:01,761 but it has nothing to do with your washing regime in any way. 832 00:39:01,761 --> 00:39:05,321 I love watching videos on... 833 00:39:05,321 --> 00:39:08,200 No, not... 834 00:39:08,200 --> 00:39:12,360 Key change. That's another story. LAUGHTER 835 00:39:12,360 --> 00:39:14,439 You know how people watch like, hear certain sounds 836 00:39:14,439 --> 00:39:16,599 and it soothes them and it calms them? 837 00:39:16,599 --> 00:39:20,319 I watch videos of people popping pimples. 838 00:39:20,319 --> 00:39:23,518 What?! They are very popular. I watch them too. 839 00:39:23,518 --> 00:39:25,998 But why would you watch... Why would you watch that?! 840 00:39:25,998 --> 00:39:28,357 I don't know. I don't understand it myself, 841 00:39:28,357 --> 00:39:31,677 but I found out just by one night going... 842 00:39:31,677 --> 00:39:34,476 There is a show called Dr Pimple Popper... Yes. Oh, my God. 843 00:39:34,476 --> 00:39:37,036 I thought, I'm going to search this on YouTube and, Oh, my God, 844 00:39:37,036 --> 00:39:38,276 it is a whole community! 845 00:39:38,276 --> 00:39:40,076 Do you ever pick your spots or blackheads? 846 00:39:40,076 --> 00:39:43,595 I don't have spots or blackheads - I'm 4,000 years old! 847 00:39:43,595 --> 00:39:47,355 LAUGHTER 848 00:39:47,355 --> 00:39:49,834 The pores are always with us, sadly. 849 00:39:49,834 --> 00:39:51,314 Now, this is exciting, 850 00:39:51,314 --> 00:39:54,474 we've done a bit of research on who is in line for the throne, 851 00:39:54,474 --> 00:39:57,033 and we know the correct answer to this question. 852 00:39:57,033 --> 00:40:00,393 Which of you on this panel is closest to inheriting the crown? 853 00:40:00,393 --> 00:40:02,232 I look good. 854 00:40:02,232 --> 00:40:04,472 I think we all deserve a "yas queen." 855 00:40:04,472 --> 00:40:06,192 Yas. 856 00:40:06,192 --> 00:40:08,512 KLAXON, LAUGHTER 857 00:40:11,431 --> 00:40:13,391 I love it, I'm a klaxon! 858 00:40:13,391 --> 00:40:16,071 It must be Alan. 859 00:40:16,071 --> 00:40:17,830 KLAXON 860 00:40:17,830 --> 00:40:20,150 Well... Well, it MUST be. 861 00:40:20,150 --> 00:40:21,470 Explain how it's not Alan. 862 00:40:21,470 --> 00:40:23,749 Here's the truth of it, it's none of us. No, it can't be 863 00:40:23,749 --> 00:40:26,189 none of us, you said, "Who's the closest?" Yeah, closest. 864 00:40:26,189 --> 00:40:28,789 We could all be far away, but somebody must... No. No? 865 00:40:28,789 --> 00:40:30,468 Nobody. No. Most people think that 866 00:40:30,468 --> 00:40:32,348 we're all somehow in line to the throne 867 00:40:32,348 --> 00:40:35,268 eventually, even if you're number 52 million and 14 or whatever. 868 00:40:35,268 --> 00:40:38,947 Yeah. In fact, the list of succession is extremely limited. 869 00:40:38,947 --> 00:40:41,027 You have to be a direct descendent 870 00:40:41,027 --> 00:40:43,667 of Princess Sophia, Electress of Hanover, 871 00:40:43,667 --> 00:40:45,666 who was born in The Hague in 1630. 872 00:40:45,666 --> 00:40:48,146 Oh, Great-granny Sophia?! 873 00:40:50,146 --> 00:40:52,105 That's where the family hair began. 874 00:40:54,785 --> 00:40:56,225 It could be as well! 875 00:40:56,225 --> 00:40:59,584 This was painted just a week after she shat on Hampstead Heath. 876 00:41:01,584 --> 00:41:04,224 Do you not think it's weird that she looks surprised 877 00:41:04,224 --> 00:41:07,423 to be having her portrait done?! She's going, "Oh, really?!" 878 00:41:07,423 --> 00:41:09,343 I like the look of her. She is rather fun. 879 00:41:09,343 --> 00:41:11,143 She was the granddaughter of James I, 880 00:41:11,143 --> 00:41:13,822 so she was chosen as heir to the throne to ensure a Protestant 881 00:41:13,822 --> 00:41:17,702 lineage in the event that William or Queen Anne died without issue. 882 00:41:17,702 --> 00:41:20,861 And it was to block the Old Pretender, James Stuart, 883 00:41:20,861 --> 00:41:22,101 who was a Catholic. 884 00:41:22,101 --> 00:41:24,861 Unfortunately, she died two months before she was due to take over, 885 00:41:24,861 --> 00:41:25,980 so we got her son, George I. 886 00:41:25,980 --> 00:41:28,740 And it's a shame because she was extraordinary. 887 00:41:28,740 --> 00:41:31,780 She spoke five languages, she was educated in theology, 888 00:41:31,780 --> 00:41:33,539 history, mathematics, law. 889 00:41:33,539 --> 00:41:37,019 She was buried in the Berggarten Mausoleum in Hanover 890 00:41:37,019 --> 00:41:38,099 and ironically, 891 00:41:38,099 --> 00:41:40,978 considering that all British Royalty is descended from her, that was 892 00:41:40,978 --> 00:41:43,538 almost completely destroyed by Allied bombers during World War II. 893 00:41:43,538 --> 00:41:46,098 Wow. Buckingham Palace has never published a full record of Sophia's 894 00:41:46,098 --> 00:41:48,937 descendants, but two American men did a full investigation 895 00:41:48,937 --> 00:41:52,017 and they both independently found that the last 896 00:41:52,017 --> 00:41:53,536 person in line to the throne, 897 00:41:53,536 --> 00:41:59,256 the 4,973rd, is a German pain therapist called Karin Vogel. 898 00:41:59,256 --> 00:42:00,855 A German pain therapist? Yes. 899 00:42:00,855 --> 00:42:03,095 Try typing that into Google. I know, right! 900 00:42:03,095 --> 00:42:06,535 LAUGHTER 901 00:42:06,535 --> 00:42:08,654 Goes straight to images. 902 00:42:08,654 --> 00:42:13,174 Which brings us to the scores. Looking distinctly shaky in last place, 903 00:42:13,174 --> 00:42:15,093 with minus seven, 904 00:42:15,093 --> 00:42:16,733 it's Alan. 905 00:42:16,733 --> 00:42:21,053 Thank you. Thank you. 906 00:42:21,053 --> 00:42:23,972 Third place, with minus three, Victoria. Hooray! 907 00:42:23,972 --> 00:42:26,732 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 908 00:42:28,331 --> 00:42:30,411 Second, with one point, John. 909 00:42:30,411 --> 00:42:33,251 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 910 00:42:33,251 --> 00:42:35,730 Yas queen, yas, yas, yas queen. 911 00:42:35,730 --> 00:42:38,730 But overshadowing everybody is tonight's winner, with five points, 912 00:42:38,730 --> 00:42:41,450 Eshaan! 913 00:42:43,689 --> 00:42:45,689 No! 914 00:42:48,209 --> 00:42:50,768 My thanks to Victoria, Eshaan, John and Alan. 915 00:42:50,768 --> 00:42:52,888 I leave you with this shadowy sign-off 916 00:42:52,888 --> 00:42:55,608 from Chinese philosopher Lin Yutang. 917 00:42:55,608 --> 00:42:58,247 "When small men begin to cast big shadows, 918 00:42:58,247 --> 00:43:01,287 "it means that the sun is about to set." 919 00:43:01,287 --> 00:43:02,807 Goodnight. 920 00:43:02,807 --> 00:43:05,286 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE