1 00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:26,560 APPLAUSE 2 00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:36,480 Hello and welcome to QI. 3 00:00:36,480 --> 00:00:38,080 Whether you like sweet or savoury, 4 00:00:38,080 --> 00:00:40,000 there's something for everyone tonight, 5 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:43,560 as we serve up a sensational selection of Sugar and Spice. 6 00:00:43,560 --> 00:00:46,000 Let's meet some real sweeties. 7 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,720 Sweet as a nut, it's Rose Matafeo. 8 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:50,600 APPLAUSE 9 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,040 Thank you. 10 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:56,120 Sweet as pie, it's Alice Levine. 11 00:00:56,120 --> 00:00:58,120 APPLAUSE 12 00:00:59,480 --> 00:01:01,640 Short and sweet, it's Jason Manford. 13 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:03,400 APPLAUSE 14 00:01:04,480 --> 00:01:08,240 And you can bet your sweet ass it's Alan Davies. 15 00:01:08,240 --> 00:01:10,760 APPLAUSE 16 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:17,760 Let's see if their buzzers are sweet or spicy. Rose goes... 17 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:21,200 # Sweet home Alabama... # 18 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:24,760 Alice goes... 19 00:01:24,760 --> 00:01:28,960 # Sweet dreams are made of this... # 20 00:01:28,960 --> 00:01:30,120 Jason goes... 21 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:33,200 # Sweet Caroline 22 00:01:33,200 --> 00:01:35,120 # Ba-ba-baaa! # 23 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:37,320 Oh, I just want to carry on. I like that. 24 00:01:37,320 --> 00:01:39,120 Uh, and Alan goes... 25 00:01:39,120 --> 00:01:40,800 # Colours of the world! Spice up your life 26 00:01:40,800 --> 00:01:42,960 # Every boy and every girl! Spice up your life 27 00:01:42,960 --> 00:01:44,880 # People of the world! Spice up your life 28 00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:46,880 # Ahhhh... # 29 00:01:46,880 --> 00:01:50,040 Oh. Wow, you all did a dancy thing. 30 00:01:50,040 --> 00:01:51,520 I once did a show... 31 00:01:51,520 --> 00:01:53,560 Is she called Mel B? I did a show with her. 32 00:01:53,560 --> 00:01:56,280 She is called Mel B. It depends who you're talking about. 33 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:57,480 Anyway, it was charming. 34 00:01:58,920 --> 00:02:01,720 What's sticky and well worth stealing? 35 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,440 A friggin' nice stick. I don't... 36 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:07,160 Wow. 37 00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,800 But, like, a good stick, 38 00:02:09,800 --> 00:02:12,240 like the best stick you've ever seen, Sandi. 39 00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:15,120 OK, you said "stick", I thought you said something else entirely. 40 00:02:15,120 --> 00:02:17,320 Wow. Wow! You're not going to have a...stick. 41 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:19,960 Stick. A stick. Sorry, I... Stick! Yeah. 42 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,800 Wait, hang on. I'm having an identity crisis. No, it's fine. 43 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,480 No, you said stick. Friggin' nice... Did she say "stick"? 44 00:02:25,480 --> 00:02:28,840 I agree. When, my son, if we go for a walk, 45 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:30,720 he finds the best sticks, like, 46 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,240 and he will hold on to that stick to the point... 47 00:02:33,240 --> 00:02:36,080 My wife won't let them in the house, because they've been outside, 48 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,880 so he will leave it on the doorstep. 49 00:02:37,880 --> 00:02:40,440 And, the next morning, when his stick is still there, 50 00:02:40,440 --> 00:02:42,920 it's like the PlayStation 5 has been delivered. 51 00:02:42,920 --> 00:02:45,240 It's like a box to a kitten, a stick to a kid. 52 00:02:45,240 --> 00:02:47,560 Oh, they love them. Wait till you get him a toy. I know. 53 00:02:47,560 --> 00:02:50,000 Oh, there's a bloody forest out there, help yourself, mate. 54 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:52,760 It's like Toys R Us. It's a weapon. It's a friend. 55 00:02:52,760 --> 00:02:54,840 It's a companion. Exactly. 56 00:02:54,840 --> 00:02:56,080 I love a stick. Rose knows. 57 00:02:56,080 --> 00:02:57,680 Like a stick, OK. She knows. 58 00:02:57,680 --> 00:02:59,480 I've forgotten what the question was. 59 00:03:02,200 --> 00:03:03,720 So, sticky and worth stealing? 60 00:03:03,720 --> 00:03:05,760 Jam. Sort of. It's a kind of... 61 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:07,200 I'm going to say Post-its, 62 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:09,360 because you don't ever buy that kind of thing, do you? 63 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:11,520 You just steal that from work. Just from the office. 64 00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:14,200 Oh, yeah, that's good. That's the problem with the work I do. 65 00:03:14,200 --> 00:03:16,240 I never go to an office. Ah, yeah. 66 00:03:16,240 --> 00:03:18,280 No stationery-stealing. Be a good idea. 67 00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:19,440 What's that? 68 00:03:19,440 --> 00:03:22,320 For a website, where you could buy some stuff, 69 00:03:22,320 --> 00:03:24,480 but there was a shoplifty corner. 70 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:27,120 That's such a good idea. 71 00:03:27,120 --> 00:03:28,200 And if you... 72 00:03:28,200 --> 00:03:32,120 if you avoided being detected by a couple of windows 73 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,360 and you could get into the shoplifting room, 74 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:37,280 you could nick a couple of things and get away with it. 75 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,440 That's such... Let me write this down. I'm so sorry. 76 00:03:39,440 --> 00:03:42,360 Because the fun of nicking something is gone at the moment, isn't it? 77 00:03:42,360 --> 00:03:44,120 No-one's nicked anything for ages. 78 00:03:44,120 --> 00:03:47,120 I've never shoplifted in my entire life, though. Have you shoplifted? 79 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:48,360 Oh, God, yeah. Really? 80 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:49,680 I haven't. 81 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:52,520 Are you kidding? As a schoolboy, it was an absolute rite of passage. 82 00:03:52,520 --> 00:03:53,960 Oh, my God. 83 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:56,400 I remember I had friends who had an aquarium 84 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:57,960 and they'd go in the pet shop 85 00:03:57,960 --> 00:04:00,200 and just get weeds out of the fish tank. 86 00:04:01,640 --> 00:04:05,080 I stole a Kinder Egg when I was about 13. 87 00:04:05,080 --> 00:04:07,240 I felt so guilty that I actually took it back 88 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,240 the next day and put it back on the... 89 00:04:09,240 --> 00:04:11,280 Alice, have you shoplifted? 90 00:04:11,280 --> 00:04:13,360 I think you know the answer to this. Alice... 91 00:04:13,360 --> 00:04:15,200 I'm such a goody two-shoes, I haven't. 92 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:17,120 So the three women have not shoplifted, 93 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,760 I'm just putting it out there. Rose has committed many crimes. 94 00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:22,160 Yeah, yeah, I've committed fraud. 95 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:25,840 I've been to jail for fraud, but that's a clever one. 96 00:04:25,840 --> 00:04:28,000 Were you the person at school who got other people 97 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:31,040 to nick stuff for you? 100%. A real racket. 98 00:04:31,040 --> 00:04:32,640 "Go in there and get me something!" 99 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:35,080 Or if you don't, I'm going to beat the crap out of you. 100 00:04:35,080 --> 00:04:37,120 Rose went straight for Ponzi schemes. 100%. 101 00:04:37,120 --> 00:04:38,800 $200 billion Ponzi schemes. 100%. 102 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,000 OK. So, we are going for something sticky, 103 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,000 but it's something you could put on pancakes. 104 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,680 Oh, syrup. Maple syrup? 105 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,320 Maple syrup. So, over several months, 106 00:04:47,320 --> 00:04:48,880 from 2011 to 2012, 107 00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:53,880 there was a group of thieves and they stole 3,000 tonnes 108 00:04:53,880 --> 00:04:57,600 of maple syrup from Canada's global syrup reserves. 109 00:04:57,600 --> 00:04:59,800 I mean, who's not glad that those exist, right? 110 00:04:59,800 --> 00:05:01,280 Oh, my gosh. It became known - 111 00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:03,920 and I love this title - The Great Maple Syrup Heist. 112 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:06,960 Ooh, wow. Good name. I know. Does what it says on the tin, doesn't it? 113 00:05:06,960 --> 00:05:09,000 "What shall we call it?!" Incredible. 114 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,760 I feel like there have been other heists, 115 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:12,840 but they just stole a sachet or something, so... 116 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:14,520 When does it become a heist? 117 00:05:14,520 --> 00:05:16,160 When it's enormously valuable. 118 00:05:16,160 --> 00:05:19,600 This is the most valuable heist in the whole of Canadian history. 119 00:05:19,600 --> 00:05:22,160 So Canada produces 80% of the world's maple syrup. 120 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:24,480 90% of that comes from Quebec alone. 121 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:28,880 And they have a strategic reserve of about 160,000, 122 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:32,800 or more, barrels, which are worth $1,800 each, 123 00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,280 OK. It's quite a lot of money. 124 00:05:34,280 --> 00:05:36,160 And this is controlled by 125 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:39,040 a group called The Federation of Quebec Maple Syrup Producers, 126 00:05:39,040 --> 00:05:41,920 the FPAQ. Great bunch of lads. I know, such fun at parties. 127 00:05:41,920 --> 00:05:45,040 They sound like a laugh, yeah. And they keep control of the supply. 128 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:46,840 And the reserve is only checked once a year. 129 00:05:46,840 --> 00:05:49,400 So the thieves went into the place and what they did was 130 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,640 they systematically removed some barrels, 131 00:05:51,640 --> 00:05:53,720 temporarily replaced them with empty ones, 132 00:05:53,720 --> 00:05:55,760 syphoned out the syrup, refilled them with water 133 00:05:55,760 --> 00:05:57,680 and replaced them. Perfect crime, OK. Yeah. 134 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,360 Because nobody knew until a syrup inspector... 135 00:06:00,360 --> 00:06:02,560 I mean, the job of dreams, I think. 136 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:05,040 A syrup inspector went and had a look, 137 00:06:05,040 --> 00:06:07,320 climbed on a stack of barrels and nearly fell, 138 00:06:07,320 --> 00:06:09,400 because of the empty ones, weren't strong enough 139 00:06:09,400 --> 00:06:11,400 to take his weight. And he raised the alarm 140 00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:15,880 and, in total, 9,000 or more barrels had been emptied of maple syrup. 141 00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:18,280 Wow. Worth $18 million. 142 00:06:18,280 --> 00:06:20,080 "Ring the alarum bell." 143 00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:23,080 When is Guy Ritchie going to make that film? 144 00:06:23,080 --> 00:06:27,440 I know. I want to see Jason Statham doing a Canadian accent. 145 00:06:27,440 --> 00:06:30,680 Yeah. Floating in a tank of syrup. 146 00:06:30,680 --> 00:06:32,560 It's thought, apart from the money, 147 00:06:32,560 --> 00:06:36,000 that the crime was motivated partly by bad feelings towards the FPAQ, 148 00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,320 the people who control... 149 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,560 ALAN GASPS Yes. And low blood sugar, probably, 150 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:41,240 because have you ever been hangry? 151 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:43,440 When I've got a food mood, 152 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,280 I just have to eat there and then. 153 00:06:45,280 --> 00:06:46,840 Like most of these crimes, 154 00:06:46,840 --> 00:06:49,240 there came a point where they should have just stopped. 155 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,680 Yeah. If we steal any more syrup, someone's going to notice, 156 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,520 when they climb on the barrels. 157 00:06:54,520 --> 00:06:56,960 Let's stop at a thousand barrels, what are we like? 158 00:06:56,960 --> 00:06:58,360 Are we greedy people? Yeah. Hm. 159 00:06:58,360 --> 00:07:00,200 What a quote, "With most crimes, 160 00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:02,440 "there's a point where you should stop." 161 00:07:02,440 --> 00:07:03,840 Where does maple syrup come from? 162 00:07:03,840 --> 00:07:05,320 Maple tree? 163 00:07:05,320 --> 00:07:06,960 It's called the sugar maple. 164 00:07:06,960 --> 00:07:08,000 Ah. 165 00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,720 And Quebec is currently the world leader. 166 00:07:09,720 --> 00:07:11,120 Isn't nature amazing? 167 00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:12,440 Look at that, they've got... 168 00:07:12,440 --> 00:07:14,640 They grow with a bucket on the side ready for you. 169 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:17,040 They're milking trees. It's like they want you to have it. 170 00:07:17,040 --> 00:07:18,960 Do you not think he looks like he's in a... 171 00:07:18,960 --> 00:07:21,840 I don't know what he thinks he looks like. He thinks he's in a catalogue. 172 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:23,520 "Man from C&A." 173 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:27,600 I do suddenly want to buy some overalls for some reason. 174 00:07:27,600 --> 00:07:29,680 Dungarees is the way forward. 175 00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:31,160 It is actually very interesting, 176 00:07:31,160 --> 00:07:33,080 I've been when they tap the sap. 177 00:07:33,080 --> 00:07:35,280 It usually starts running in about March, 178 00:07:35,280 --> 00:07:37,920 because the warmer temperature makes pressure inside 179 00:07:37,920 --> 00:07:39,680 the tree increase, so the sap - 180 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:41,440 which is basically just sugar and water - 181 00:07:41,440 --> 00:07:43,240 is squeezed - how can I put this nicely? - 182 00:07:43,240 --> 00:07:45,080 out of any open orifice. 183 00:07:45,080 --> 00:07:48,720 And it takes 40 gallons of the sap to make one gallon of syrup. 184 00:07:48,720 --> 00:07:50,480 Oh, my gosh. So it's a lot. 185 00:07:50,480 --> 00:07:52,040 But it's not a European invention, 186 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,840 it was made in the Americas long before 187 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,120 the Europeans turned up, 188 00:07:55,120 --> 00:07:57,840 usually by women from what we call the First Nation tribes, 189 00:07:57,840 --> 00:08:00,000 who tapped the sap and then they collected firewood 190 00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,840 and boiled the sap to make spirit. 191 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:05,440 Sounds like a Danny Dyer game show. It does, yeah. Tap the Sap. 192 00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:07,320 "Ladies and gentlemen, let's tap the sap." 193 00:08:07,320 --> 00:08:09,160 EAST LONDON ACCENT: "Tap the sap, come on." 194 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:10,560 "'Ere comes a bucket." 195 00:08:12,960 --> 00:08:14,640 He doesn't know the rules of it. 196 00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:16,720 In his ear, "Shout tap the sap, Danny." 197 00:08:18,840 --> 00:08:21,680 "Which direction?" "Any way you like, we've got you covered." 198 00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:23,760 Maple tapping, not limited to humans. 199 00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,360 So squirrels have been seen systematically biting... 200 00:08:26,360 --> 00:08:28,160 Stuck to trees. Stuck, like that. 201 00:08:28,160 --> 00:08:29,400 "What's happened?" 202 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:32,440 Systematically... They never know their limits. 203 00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:33,960 "Oh, my gosh, my nuts are stuck." 204 00:08:36,360 --> 00:08:38,120 Sorry, Sandi, I went too far with that. 205 00:08:38,120 --> 00:08:41,080 No, we're just... I'm trying to think where to go from sticky nuts. Um... 206 00:08:41,080 --> 00:08:42,480 The bathroom. 207 00:08:42,480 --> 00:08:45,640 Yeah. They systematically bite into maple trees to allow 208 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,880 the sap to flow. But here is the really clever thing, 209 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:49,560 they don't just lap it up there and go, 210 00:08:49,560 --> 00:08:52,760 "Yay, I got the sap to flow." They leave it and return, 211 00:08:52,760 --> 00:08:54,600 so that once the water has evaporated, 212 00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,840 there's a higher concentration of the sugary sap. 213 00:08:57,840 --> 00:08:58,960 Clever. 214 00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:00,960 Thanks, squirrels. Isn't that great? 215 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:02,840 Clever squirrel. Yeah, lovely. 216 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,920 Yeah, I thought, "Hm, good on you. Team players. I know. 217 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,720 Explain to me how adult liquorice works. 218 00:09:10,120 --> 00:09:13,240 All liquorice is adult liquorice, because only adults like liquorice. 219 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:14,640 Correct. Yeah. 220 00:09:14,640 --> 00:09:17,160 And I think sometimes mums pretend to like it just 221 00:09:17,160 --> 00:09:19,960 so there's something in the house that nobody else is going to eat. 222 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:23,640 You've never been to Scandinavia, we just all love liquorice. 223 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:24,880 You love liquorice. 224 00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:26,360 And we are going to try some, OK? 225 00:09:26,360 --> 00:09:30,160 The thing that makes it adult is that it is extremely salty. 226 00:09:30,160 --> 00:09:32,880 The flavour comes from ammonium chloride, 227 00:09:32,880 --> 00:09:35,640 which the Finnish people call salmiakki, OK? 228 00:09:35,640 --> 00:09:37,880 The Scandinavians say the stronger 229 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:40,480 and saltier the better, and I absolutely agree. 230 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,600 So you have a little bowl like this. 231 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:45,400 Try it. If you don't like liquorice... Who likes liquorice? 232 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:47,040 I like liquorice. I like liquorice. 233 00:09:47,040 --> 00:09:49,760 I don't know if I like salty liquorice. This is adult liquorice. 234 00:09:49,760 --> 00:09:51,520 Ooh. Oh, my God. 235 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,080 Huh? How good is that? 236 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:57,080 Boy, oh, boy. 237 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,280 That's disgusting. Actually, actually... 238 00:09:59,280 --> 00:10:01,720 Coming around, Sandi, I'm coming around. 239 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,520 Isn't it good? Alan spat his out. 240 00:10:03,520 --> 00:10:05,960 My spine feels weird. What's happening? 241 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:07,720 That is... Do you like that, Jason? 242 00:10:07,720 --> 00:10:10,520 I think once you get over the initial shock... 243 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,040 The disappointment. 244 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:14,880 Yeah, it just becomes disappointing, yeah. 245 00:10:14,880 --> 00:10:16,640 You just become steadily more depressed. 246 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:19,720 Yeah, it's all right. There are health implications. 247 00:10:19,720 --> 00:10:21,320 Really? 248 00:10:21,320 --> 00:10:24,000 Thanks for telling us now. Phew. I made the right call. 249 00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,040 Too much ammonium chloride is bad for you, 250 00:10:26,040 --> 00:10:28,280 and so the European Union wanted to set the cap 251 00:10:28,280 --> 00:10:30,080 at 0.3%. 252 00:10:30,080 --> 00:10:32,080 But liquorice is, like, ten times that much, 253 00:10:32,080 --> 00:10:33,440 salty liquorice. 254 00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:36,680 And there was a genuine fear that the people of Scandinavia, 255 00:10:36,680 --> 00:10:39,880 the Finns in particular, would leave the EU 256 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,800 if they messed with their liquorice. 257 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:42,920 Oh, God. You know. 258 00:10:42,920 --> 00:10:45,000 A Sami-exit. Yeah. 259 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,120 So an exemption was made for sweets and ice cream. 260 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:50,960 It just has to say "Adult liquorice, not liquorice for children" on it. 261 00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,960 Right. Do you have to have ID to get it? 262 00:10:52,960 --> 00:10:55,040 I don't think you need to worry about children 263 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:56,760 accidentally eating this. I mean... 264 00:10:56,760 --> 00:10:58,720 It's incredibly resistant to saliva. 265 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:01,160 Yeah. That's a good quality in a man, I think. 266 00:11:01,160 --> 00:11:03,040 ROSE GROANS 267 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,480 Be a good thing to put in a personal ad. Oh, my God... 268 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,840 "Wanted - man, incredibly resistant to saliva." 269 00:11:12,680 --> 00:11:13,960 Oh, my God... 270 00:11:13,960 --> 00:11:18,360 "Able to tolerate adult liquorice. No other qualities necessary." 271 00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:20,560 I hope this doesn't become a thing now. 272 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:21,880 I don't want to start seeing... 273 00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,200 Every time you come on QI, we give you a shit sweet. 274 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,720 Sweet and... Yeah, sweet and sour jelly babies. 275 00:11:26,720 --> 00:11:29,200 I don't want to see this. 276 00:11:29,200 --> 00:11:31,400 That's sort of like jerky, isn't it, really? 277 00:11:31,400 --> 00:11:33,360 What, oh, do you like...? I like jerky. 278 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,480 I think jerky is absolutely lovely. Not when you're expecting a sweet. 279 00:11:36,480 --> 00:11:37,920 Yeah. It's like a Jaffa Cake, 280 00:11:37,920 --> 00:11:40,800 but it's got chicken tikka masala inside. 281 00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:43,160 But it has been so popular for so long 282 00:11:43,160 --> 00:11:45,400 that it was found in Tutankhamun's tomb. 283 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:47,680 In the tomb, Sandi, in the tomb. 284 00:11:47,680 --> 00:11:49,640 Yeah. Let's bury it, while he's going, 285 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:51,560 while the lid's open, put the liquorice in. 286 00:11:51,560 --> 00:11:54,240 It's incredibly resistant to saliva. 287 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,080 Better seal it up, quick. 288 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:59,240 Ancient Romans used it for bladder problems, 289 00:11:59,240 --> 00:12:01,600 kidney stones, ulcers, all sorts of things. 290 00:12:01,600 --> 00:12:03,680 Oh, it's medicine, yeah, it tastes like medicine. 291 00:12:03,680 --> 00:12:05,080 It tastes a bit like medicine. 292 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:07,240 But medicine when it's... You know when you're a kid 293 00:12:07,240 --> 00:12:10,160 and medicine is actually quite nice? It's like strawberry and banana 294 00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:12,560 and then, about 13, they go, "Oh, you can have chalk now." 295 00:12:12,560 --> 00:12:15,080 Do you know what I mean? It's that age of medicine. 296 00:12:15,080 --> 00:12:17,360 The English physician Nicholas Culpeper - 297 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:18,720 so we're talking 17th century - 298 00:12:18,720 --> 00:12:20,840 recommended taking it against coughs, 299 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:23,880 growths in the eye and ulcers on the genitals. 300 00:12:23,880 --> 00:12:25,920 I mean, it already tastes like it's been 301 00:12:25,920 --> 00:12:27,480 rubbed on someone's genitals. 302 00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:33,680 What is the town in the UK that we link with liquorice? 303 00:12:33,680 --> 00:12:35,760 There's one town in West Yorkshire. 304 00:12:35,760 --> 00:12:37,320 Towns in West Yorkshire. Bassett? 305 00:12:37,320 --> 00:12:38,920 P. AUDIENCE MEMBER: Pontefract. 306 00:12:38,920 --> 00:12:41,160 Pontefract. Of course it's Pontefract. 307 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,760 Pontefract cakes, absolutely right. 308 00:12:42,760 --> 00:12:44,840 So it's extraordinary that it's in Pontefract, 309 00:12:44,840 --> 00:12:47,160 because the plant is native to Southern Europe 310 00:12:47,160 --> 00:12:48,640 and Western Asia. 311 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,560 Probably arrived in Pontefract in about 312 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:53,160 the 16th century via Dominican monks. 313 00:12:53,160 --> 00:12:57,160 And, by the 1920s, there were ten liquorice factories in the town. 314 00:12:57,160 --> 00:12:59,200 But they're all sweet liquorice, they're not... 315 00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:00,560 They're the sort you like. 316 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:03,400 No-one's come in, like, "Lads, have I got an idea for you." 317 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:06,840 "Imagine it was this product that we've been selling millions of, 318 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:12,840 "but it tastes like shit. Imagine that. Imagine. Huh, huh?" 319 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:15,040 I love it, I'm just saying to you. 320 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:17,200 Not a single convert in the house, Sandi. 321 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,360 I know. 322 00:13:18,360 --> 00:13:21,800 Anyway, which head of state did the Spice Girls sleep with? 323 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:26,160 Well, I'm nervous to say this, but Nelson Mandela? 324 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:27,640 KLAXON BLARES 325 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,240 Yeah. It's... 326 00:13:29,240 --> 00:13:32,080 Yeah. It seemed too obvious. 327 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:35,320 I also sort of think we'd have heard about that. 328 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,520 Do you think? It feels like a big story, you know. 329 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:39,040 He said, which is pretty shocking, 330 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,720 that it was the best day of his life when he met the Spice Girls. 331 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:42,840 Was it? How? 332 00:13:42,840 --> 00:13:44,000 I met Nelson Mandela? 333 00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,760 Did you? When I was three. In New Zealand. 334 00:13:46,760 --> 00:13:48,040 He came to speak 335 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,600 and all of the crowd, like, surged forward 336 00:13:50,600 --> 00:13:53,040 and I was sitting on a barrier and it kind of pushed me 337 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:54,440 and I was next to my brother. 338 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:56,800 And so I started crying and he came up to me 339 00:13:56,800 --> 00:13:58,720 and he was, like, "Why are you crying?" 340 00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:01,480 And I was, like, "My brother pushed me!" 341 00:14:01,480 --> 00:14:03,680 To Nelson Mandela. 342 00:14:03,680 --> 00:14:06,600 And then he was like, "Oh, don't cry." And tried to comfort me. 343 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:08,320 My mum was like, "Do you know who that was?" 344 00:14:08,320 --> 00:14:10,680 And I was like, "No, I don't, I'm three years old, right?" 345 00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:13,040 "Rose, he has bigger fish to fry." Yeah, exactly. 346 00:14:13,040 --> 00:14:15,680 So the best day wasn't that day that he met me. 347 00:14:15,680 --> 00:14:17,840 That's very upsetting. What were you saying? Sorry. 348 00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,720 So we are slightly misleading you. 349 00:14:19,720 --> 00:14:22,440 Mel B's child has obviously just farted. 350 00:14:23,640 --> 00:14:25,840 Oh, yes, yeah. Which one's Mel B, Sandi? 351 00:14:25,840 --> 00:14:27,760 Yeah, come on, Sandi. Point out the Mel B. 352 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,160 Oh, yeah, you met her, didn't you? 353 00:14:29,160 --> 00:14:31,680 Mel B is the one wearing a crocodile. That's right, yeah. 354 00:14:31,680 --> 00:14:33,880 Right, so we're talking China. We're talking China, 355 00:14:33,880 --> 00:14:35,480 the spice girls of ancient China. 356 00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:38,360 So these were the concubines who slept with the Emperor. 357 00:14:38,360 --> 00:14:40,560 Oh. What a job. And we're calling them spice girls 358 00:14:40,560 --> 00:14:42,640 because, in the Han Dynasty China - 359 00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:46,200 so we're talking about 202 BC to 220 AD - 360 00:14:46,200 --> 00:14:50,080 the Emperor's concubines would live in a pepper house. 361 00:14:50,080 --> 00:14:52,840 So, basically, you've got mud and plaster on the walls 362 00:14:52,840 --> 00:14:55,200 and it's mixed with Szechuan pepper. 363 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:56,640 So the spice, it's really nice, 364 00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:59,280 it provides a sort of warm and fragrant atmosphere, 365 00:14:59,280 --> 00:15:02,040 and also the plant is a symbol of fertility, 366 00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:03,760 because it has so many seeds. 367 00:15:03,760 --> 00:15:06,640 And even today, they throw it sometimes as confetti at newlyweds, 368 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:09,160 sort of in rural areas of China. 369 00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:10,920 Szechuan pepper? Szechuan pepper, yes. 370 00:15:10,920 --> 00:15:15,200 It's basically the dried berries of the prickly ash tree. 371 00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,920 Anyway, you get the sensation, right. 372 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:18,440 It's not really spiciness, 373 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:20,800 it's like a tingling, numbing sensation. 374 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,520 So we're going to try it, OK. 375 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,480 So, having gone for the liquorice, 376 00:15:24,480 --> 00:15:27,520 what I want you to do is to take one and to bite... 377 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,880 Just one... No, not the whole thing, darling, you'll die. 378 00:15:29,880 --> 00:15:30,920 Oh. Yeah. 379 00:15:30,920 --> 00:15:32,960 Well, why would you put all of them in there? 380 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:36,480 Why would you risk that? 381 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:40,200 I wanted to give you choice. 382 00:15:40,200 --> 00:15:41,440 I was about to... No. 383 00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:42,760 ..down it in one. I was... 384 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:43,840 Oh, my God. 385 00:15:43,840 --> 00:15:45,720 Last time we saw Jason Manford... 386 00:15:45,720 --> 00:15:48,160 So bite it and let it cover your tongue. 387 00:15:48,160 --> 00:15:50,600 May I advise you not to swallow it? 388 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:53,400 This is the worst game I've ever played, since the liquorice game. 389 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:54,920 Yeah, so... 390 00:15:54,920 --> 00:15:57,840 So bite it and then let it cover your tongue, 391 00:15:57,840 --> 00:15:59,480 and you should get a sensation 392 00:15:59,480 --> 00:16:01,560 which is called paraesthesia and... 393 00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:03,400 Are you all right, Jason? That's... 394 00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,200 I... I... 395 00:16:05,200 --> 00:16:07,120 GARBLED: I think I've had a reaction. 396 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:10,560 You know what this feels like at the moment? Hm? 397 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:13,520 It feels like, you know sometimes you see something on the carpet 398 00:16:13,520 --> 00:16:15,560 and you think, oh, it's a bit of a nut or something, 399 00:16:15,560 --> 00:16:17,440 it's a bit of a crumb of food. Yeah. 400 00:16:17,440 --> 00:16:19,360 And you pick it up and put it in your mouth. 401 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:21,680 And you think, actually, that isn't food. No. 402 00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:27,160 That's come out of the dog's arse or off the kids' shoes or something. 403 00:16:27,160 --> 00:16:29,680 Who let the rabbit in the house? 404 00:16:29,680 --> 00:16:31,120 What do you think, Alice? 405 00:16:31,120 --> 00:16:32,760 It is really citrusy. 406 00:16:32,760 --> 00:16:34,480 Yeah. Is it nice? 407 00:16:34,480 --> 00:16:36,440 It is actually kind of... It's not unpleasant. 408 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,240 Not unpleasant. It's almost got the tingle of something menthol-y. 409 00:16:39,240 --> 00:16:41,240 Yes. And it gives you just this kind of... 410 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:42,960 It's almost like a tiny little vibration. 411 00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:45,040 It reminds me of... There's a cafe near me 412 00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:46,960 that hasn't been decorated for 60 years. 413 00:16:46,960 --> 00:16:48,480 It reminds me of their loo. 414 00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,760 The surface of my tongue now feels like it wants 415 00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:53,680 to leave my body, is that what happens? Yeah. 416 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:54,920 It's really fizzy, isn't it? 417 00:16:54,920 --> 00:16:57,560 It's like putting your wet tongue on a battery. 418 00:16:57,560 --> 00:16:59,080 Ow. Hm, yes. 419 00:16:59,080 --> 00:17:01,600 So they did a test to see, how many vibrations 420 00:17:01,600 --> 00:17:02,840 is it actually causing? 421 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:04,840 And what they did was, they got 28 volunteers 422 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:07,280 and they were kitted out with little tiny vibrating tools. 423 00:17:07,280 --> 00:17:09,240 And they were asked to adjust it until it matched 424 00:17:09,240 --> 00:17:10,840 what they could feel on their tongue. 425 00:17:10,840 --> 00:17:14,000 And Szechuan peppercorns make lips vibrate at 50 hertz, 426 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,640 which is the same as a cat's purr. 427 00:17:15,640 --> 00:17:17,480 Really? Are you eating them all now? 428 00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:19,600 I've had them now. Finished. Have you eaten the lot? 429 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:20,800 Yeah. 430 00:17:20,800 --> 00:17:22,520 Are you swallowing them? 431 00:17:22,520 --> 00:17:24,000 Who said that? 432 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:30,600 Your insides are going to be vibrating at 50 hertz. Yeah. 433 00:17:32,080 --> 00:17:34,480 When did you learn to fly? What's going on? 434 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:37,240 Oh, my God, wow. Hey, I tell you what, 435 00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:39,160 when you have a couple, woo! 436 00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:43,680 Now we're talking. Woohoo! 437 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:45,080 He's having a good time now. 438 00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:47,560 You have a little line of blood coming out of one nostril. 439 00:17:47,560 --> 00:17:49,680 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you currently experiencing 440 00:17:49,680 --> 00:17:51,920 the last third of 2001: A Space Odyssey? 441 00:17:51,920 --> 00:17:54,560 You're just flying through space? Oh, wow. 442 00:17:54,560 --> 00:17:57,080 Zingy and sherberty. Wow, yeah. 443 00:17:57,080 --> 00:17:58,600 Right, uh... 444 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:00,600 Jason is struggling now! 445 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:04,720 No. "It's 3.47pm, 446 00:18:04,720 --> 00:18:07,880 "Jason has had a whole bowl of peppercorns." 447 00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:09,160 Grandad? 448 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,520 "It's four hours since Jason had the peppercorns." 449 00:18:14,520 --> 00:18:17,320 I don't do drugs, like, but that was the nearest... 450 00:18:17,320 --> 00:18:19,080 To doing. ..I've come to it. 451 00:18:19,080 --> 00:18:21,640 Yeah. I can actually see the back of my head. 452 00:18:26,320 --> 00:18:27,520 New question - 453 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:29,680 what did the original Peter Piper pick? 454 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:32,560 A pickled pepper. Pumpkin. 455 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:34,120 KLAXON BLARES 456 00:18:34,120 --> 00:18:35,160 Oh. 457 00:18:36,840 --> 00:18:38,200 Not pepper. What else? 458 00:18:38,200 --> 00:18:39,480 Pumpkin. Pumpkin. 459 00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,720 Do they have pumpkin in New Zealand? Is that a thing? 460 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:42,960 They have pumpkin, yes, 461 00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:45,000 but also, weirdly, in New Zealand, we eat pumpkin 462 00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:47,480 and, apparently, here, you guys feed them to pigs. 463 00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:49,000 You're from England, I assume. 464 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,600 Definitely. 465 00:18:50,600 --> 00:18:52,160 Do you eat pumpkin? No. 466 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:53,240 Why not? 467 00:18:53,240 --> 00:18:54,960 I've got too many pigs to feed. 468 00:19:01,040 --> 00:19:04,360 So our best guess is that it was a real person called - 469 00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:05,600 behind the tongue-twister - 470 00:19:05,600 --> 00:19:10,360 a one-armed French horticulturist called Pierre Poivre. 471 00:19:10,360 --> 00:19:11,920 And it's a really interesting story. 472 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:13,880 So we're talking 18th century. 473 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:16,440 So he began his travels as a mission... Are you all right? 474 00:19:16,440 --> 00:19:18,520 Yeah, I'm fine, yeah. Yeah. You're sweating. 475 00:19:18,520 --> 00:19:21,120 I'm just thinking of all the mistakes I've made in my life. 476 00:19:21,120 --> 00:19:23,840 You appear to be having the menopause, darling. 477 00:19:23,840 --> 00:19:26,480 Oh, yeah, I'm... I'm having everybody's menopause. Yeah. 478 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,840 Why didn't you give him a little bowl of ayahuasca? Yeah. 479 00:19:28,840 --> 00:19:31,840 I just... Don't give me a full bowl of anything 480 00:19:31,840 --> 00:19:34,240 and then say, "Do not eat the full bowl." 481 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,360 Because I will do that. Oh, my God... The future... 482 00:19:36,360 --> 00:19:38,160 Bring on the Starbursts. 483 00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,400 Who's this guy now? What's going on? This guy, yeah. 484 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:43,800 He wasn't interested in peppers at all, he was involved... 485 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:46,040 He's the Pied Piper. Well, he... No. 486 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:47,560 He was involved in the spice trade - 487 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:50,200 he was interested in nutmeg, cinnamon and cloves, not peppers. 488 00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:52,800 So he started his career as a missionary in China. 489 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:53,960 I don't know what happened, 490 00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:56,440 he was wrongfully arrested as soon as he arrived. Who knows? 491 00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:57,600 Been there, buddy. I know. 492 00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,800 Been there. So what he did - I like this - 493 00:19:59,800 --> 00:20:02,200 he taught himself Chinese to defend himself in court. 494 00:20:02,200 --> 00:20:05,040 And when the mission ended, he sailed back to France, 495 00:20:05,040 --> 00:20:06,880 but there was a skirmish with a British ship 496 00:20:06,880 --> 00:20:08,840 and he lost an arm to a cannonball. 497 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,000 And we've all been there. Worst holiday ever. 498 00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:13,400 Yeah. Had to rest up in Indonesia. 499 00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:16,880 Wow. And then he hatched a plan to smuggle spices 500 00:20:16,880 --> 00:20:18,600 because, in the 18th century, 501 00:20:18,600 --> 00:20:20,120 it's sort of hard for us to believe, 502 00:20:20,120 --> 00:20:22,640 spices were the tradeable commodity. 503 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:24,640 Some of them were worth more than gold 504 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:28,040 and the Dutch had complete control over spice distribution. 505 00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:31,440 And they went to extreme measures to make sure they had this monopoly. 506 00:20:31,440 --> 00:20:33,320 So, for example, they'd get nutmeg seeds 507 00:20:33,320 --> 00:20:35,640 and they'd douse them in lime before they exported them, 508 00:20:35,640 --> 00:20:38,400 so that they wouldn't sprout, so that you couldn't grow your own. 509 00:20:38,400 --> 00:20:41,440 And smuggling seeds was a crime, punishable by death. 510 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,240 But he transported more than 3,000 plants into Mauritius 511 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:47,120 and the Seychelles and Reunion, and began growing them. 512 00:20:47,120 --> 00:20:49,680 It's one of the reasons why we have spices that we can trade 513 00:20:49,680 --> 00:20:52,120 so easily today. This is... Because nutmeg was used, 514 00:20:52,120 --> 00:20:54,040 wasn't it, to preserve meat on the ship? 515 00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:55,920 Yeah. I mean, spices were really important. 516 00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,440 And I know a little bit about this, 517 00:20:57,440 --> 00:20:59,560 because I went to the Island of Banda in Indonesia, 518 00:20:59,560 --> 00:21:02,480 which was exchanged for what is now 519 00:21:02,480 --> 00:21:05,280 the island of Manhattan in a property swap. 520 00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:08,320 Is that David Jason? It looks like him. 521 00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,200 That's him, that's Peter. Spitting image. 522 00:21:10,200 --> 00:21:12,240 That's Peter without either arm, frankly. 523 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:14,800 "I've got loads of nutmeg. Yes, come in, come in." 524 00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:17,920 Have you seen those videos of, you know, like the cinnamon challenge? 525 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:20,560 You know, when people have a teaspoon of cinnamon? 526 00:21:20,560 --> 00:21:22,640 When they snort it. Because you can't swallow... 527 00:21:22,640 --> 00:21:24,600 A teaspoon of cinnamon? A teaspoon of cinnamon. 528 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,280 I've never tried. And I think it works with nutmeg, as well. 529 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:29,280 They are incredibly resistant to saliva. 530 00:21:29,280 --> 00:21:31,960 That's the one thing about this. Deeply resistant to saliva. 531 00:21:31,960 --> 00:21:34,520 But you have to be... You have to be careful with nutmeg, 532 00:21:34,520 --> 00:21:36,760 because it contains a compound called myristicin, 533 00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:38,240 and it can cause hallucinations. 534 00:21:38,240 --> 00:21:40,600 It's extremely - it's profoundly untrustworthy. 535 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,760 It can cause hallucinations in high doses. Really? 536 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:45,160 So it's a really, really bad idea. "Where's Jason?" 537 00:21:45,160 --> 00:21:46,760 "He's on a bad nutmeg trip." Yeah. 538 00:21:46,760 --> 00:21:49,200 No, darling, you can get all sorts of side-effects. 539 00:21:49,200 --> 00:21:52,240 You can get anxiety and fear and sort of hostility and feeling like... 540 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:55,080 I think I might have been on nutmeg my whole life. 541 00:21:55,080 --> 00:21:59,000 It's... I did nutmeg at Glastonbury, it was crazy! 542 00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,240 Yeah. So the nursery rhyme that we were talking about 543 00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:02,640 at the very beginning, darling, 544 00:22:02,640 --> 00:22:04,640 that was very first published in 1813 545 00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:06,720 in Peter Piper's Practical Principles of Plain 546 00:22:06,720 --> 00:22:08,280 and Perfect Pronunciation. 547 00:22:08,280 --> 00:22:11,080 And it has a tongue twister for every single letter of the alphabet. 548 00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,600 So here is the one that we think is based on this character, 549 00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:14,760 Pierre Poivre. 550 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:15,960 But this is the S series, 551 00:22:15,960 --> 00:22:18,040 so we've got the rhyme for S. Who wants to try? 552 00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:20,080 Let's do it. Do it, Jason? Go for it. 553 00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:23,360 Sammy Smellie smelt a smell of Small-coal. 554 00:22:23,360 --> 00:22:26,000 Did Sammy Smellie smell a smelt of Small-coal? 555 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:28,000 If Sammy Smellie smelt a smell of Small-coal, 556 00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:30,520 where's the smell of small coal Sammy Smellie smelt? 557 00:22:30,520 --> 00:22:32,840 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 558 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:36,080 Wow. 559 00:22:36,080 --> 00:22:39,800 I'm having the same sort of surge of rage that I used to have 560 00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:41,640 when one of my siblings would get praised 561 00:22:41,640 --> 00:22:43,840 for doing a simple task... Yeah, yeah. 562 00:22:43,840 --> 00:22:45,480 We also have a... All right, whoa, whoa. 563 00:22:45,480 --> 00:22:46,880 ..that I haven't been asked to do. 564 00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,440 What are you clapping that for? He's just read it. 565 00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:52,440 All right. Hey, all right, Billy Big-Balls, you have a go. 566 00:22:52,440 --> 00:22:55,560 Yeah, go on, then. Sammy Smellie smelt a smell of Small-coal? 567 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:57,000 It's on the bloody screen. 568 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,200 All of it. I had to do all of it. 569 00:22:58,200 --> 00:23:00,120 Did Sammy Smellie smell a smelt of Small-coal? 570 00:23:00,120 --> 00:23:02,000 If Sammy Smellie smelt a smell of Small-coal, 571 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,200 where's the smell of Small-coal Sammy Smellie smelt? 572 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:05,840 APPLAUSE 573 00:23:05,840 --> 00:23:07,840 I don't want applause! It's reading! 574 00:23:10,120 --> 00:23:11,680 Well done, Alan. 575 00:23:11,680 --> 00:23:15,320 OK, no, that's terribly impressive, darling, well done. Oh, my God. 576 00:23:15,320 --> 00:23:17,760 Do you know what Small-coal is? No, and care not. 577 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,760 Anybody? Extra point. I imagine it's tiny coal. 578 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:26,200 It is. For a tiny fire in a tiny house. 579 00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:27,720 It's what they used to call "slack". 580 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:30,480 It's coal about the size of hazelnuts. It's to start the fire. 581 00:23:30,480 --> 00:23:33,160 But I am terribly impressed with your articulation. 582 00:23:33,160 --> 00:23:36,920 Peter Pepper nicked a nugget of nibbly nutmeg. 583 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:39,120 What makes my ice cream...? 584 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,800 Some of those words began with the same letter! 585 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:50,880 There's 40 years in the business. 40 years to achieve this. 586 00:23:50,880 --> 00:23:54,760 That's craft, that's stage craft, right there. That is stage craft. 587 00:23:54,760 --> 00:23:56,520 That took my breath away. Extraordinary. 588 00:23:56,520 --> 00:23:58,520 The same letter at the beginning of the word. 589 00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:01,280 Thank you, darling. It is 40 years! CHUCKLING 590 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,360 What makes my ice cream taste like shit? 591 00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:05,320 Maybe it's your bad attitude, Sandi. 592 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:07,880 Maybe you're putting liquorice in it! Maybe! 593 00:24:07,880 --> 00:24:10,000 KLAXON 594 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,480 That looks tasty, has that got cornflakes on? 595 00:24:15,480 --> 00:24:17,720 It looks actually quite good. That does look nice. 596 00:24:17,720 --> 00:24:19,760 It's in a toilet bowl, but I'll get over that. 597 00:24:19,760 --> 00:24:22,000 Is it shit? Has someone put shit in, in the ice cream? 598 00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:24,680 Well, so, mammalian and bird faeces get their smell 599 00:24:24,680 --> 00:24:27,840 from a high concentration of a molecule called skatole. 600 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:30,320 So it's a thing that we all produce in our digestive tracts, 601 00:24:30,320 --> 00:24:33,040 and the people who produce too much of it have terrible halitosis. 602 00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:36,160 Anyway, at very low concentrations it has a sort of sweet, floral aroma. 603 00:24:36,160 --> 00:24:39,280 Like, I don't know, orange blossom or jasmine or something. 604 00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:42,240 And so it's used in the ice cream industry as a flavour enhancer. 605 00:24:42,240 --> 00:24:44,600 It can either smell great or it can smell terrible. 606 00:24:44,600 --> 00:24:47,720 And it's also used in perfumes. Yeah, like your own farts. Yeah. 607 00:24:47,720 --> 00:24:49,760 But it's used in perfumes and colognes, as well, 608 00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:51,160 flavouring in cigarettes. 609 00:24:51,160 --> 00:24:53,120 The name is the Greek for dung. 610 00:24:53,120 --> 00:24:55,960 Anybody heard of something called "castoreum"? 611 00:24:55,960 --> 00:25:00,320 It's taken from the glands found near the rear ends of beavers. Oh... 612 00:25:00,320 --> 00:25:03,080 It gives depth to vanilla and strawberry flavours. I'm sure... 613 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:05,720 Rear end of a beaver? Yes, I know. 614 00:25:05,720 --> 00:25:08,200 Isn't that the beaver? A beaver's beaver? 615 00:25:08,200 --> 00:25:10,520 Is it a beaver's beaver? Yeah. You're thinking, 616 00:25:10,520 --> 00:25:12,800 "This strawberry ice cream is lacking something." 617 00:25:12,800 --> 00:25:15,160 That's it, a bit of beaver. "Get me a beaver." Yeah. 618 00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:17,840 Get me a beaver's beaver! "Turn it around! 619 00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:20,880 "Turn it around, this is the bit I'm interested in." 620 00:25:20,880 --> 00:25:22,280 CHUCKLING 621 00:25:23,840 --> 00:25:26,480 "Now this will be some interesting ice cream." 622 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:30,320 "It's got a bit of a beaver gland in it!" 623 00:25:30,320 --> 00:25:33,800 "Hello, Walls? Do I have a solution for you!" 624 00:25:33,800 --> 00:25:35,680 LAUGHTER 625 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,960 In Sweden, there is a drink - it's actually rare to find it these days - 626 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,960 called Baverhojt, and it's a liqueur flavoured with castoreum. 627 00:25:41,960 --> 00:25:44,720 It was traditionally drunk by beaver trappers. 628 00:25:44,720 --> 00:25:46,800 Again, a job I hadn't thought of. 629 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,880 MUSIC: TINKLING VERSION OF GREENSLEEVES 630 00:25:48,880 --> 00:25:51,800 Ah. Anybody? What is that approaching? Anybody? What is that? 631 00:25:51,800 --> 00:25:54,000 "Oh, Mum, can I have a pound?" What is it? 632 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:56,000 It's the ice-cream van! It's the ice-cream van! 633 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:59,040 Sorry, no, I've got to say, that is the most terrifying soundscape 634 00:25:59,040 --> 00:26:01,840 of an ice cream van I have heard... Yeah. That's what it used to be. 635 00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:04,000 So in the UK what would happen is, 636 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:07,360 if you'd just got out of prison, you were allowed to be an ice-cream man. 637 00:26:08,760 --> 00:26:12,360 And it was the only way you were legally allowed near children. 638 00:26:12,360 --> 00:26:14,840 Wow. Yeah, that's how it used to work. 639 00:26:14,840 --> 00:26:16,360 And so they would have that music, 640 00:26:16,360 --> 00:26:19,200 it was actually supposed to be a warning but, weirdly, 641 00:26:19,200 --> 00:26:21,560 we all lined up and we waited to meet the weirdo 642 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:22,720 giving us ice creams. 643 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:24,280 It was brilliant. 644 00:26:24,280 --> 00:26:26,200 Do they not have ice-cream vans in New Zealand? 645 00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:28,600 No, they absolutely do, but not with that 646 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:32,760 child-catcher-esque sort of doomful like... Yeah, it was a bit. 647 00:26:32,760 --> 00:26:34,520 Do you know what the tune is? 648 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:35,880 Greensleeves. Yes. 649 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:38,640 So, why do ice-cream vans play Greensleeves so much? 650 00:26:38,640 --> 00:26:41,640 It's a banger. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, er, it's... 651 00:26:41,640 --> 00:26:44,320 It's something to do with Henry VIII, it must be. 652 00:26:44,320 --> 00:26:46,880 It is to do with Henry VIII. He invented ice cream. 653 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:49,600 No, ice cream was invented about 200 years after he passed. 654 00:26:49,600 --> 00:26:52,280 Oh, Henry VIII never had ice cream? No, he... 655 00:26:52,280 --> 00:26:54,920 If he knew that he hadn't had ice cream, he'd behead someone. 656 00:26:54,920 --> 00:26:57,440 Yeah, he'd be so cross. "You mean I haven't had ice cream?" 657 00:26:57,440 --> 00:27:00,000 "It hasn't been invented." "Kill someone!" 658 00:27:00,000 --> 00:27:01,720 So, we're going back to 1958, 659 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:05,040 and there was a man called Dominic Facchino. 660 00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:07,680 And he had been to the United States and seen ice-cream trucks 661 00:27:07,680 --> 00:27:09,200 and he thought it was marvellous. 662 00:27:09,200 --> 00:27:11,280 And so he decided to start his own venture, 663 00:27:11,280 --> 00:27:13,720 he started it in Birmingham. The Mr Whippy ice-cream van. 664 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:16,640 Mr Whippy, we've got Mr Whippy in New Zealand, yeah. Mr Whippy. 665 00:27:16,640 --> 00:27:19,680 And he chose it because he was a huge fan of Henry VIII. 666 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,520 And the King was credited with composing the tune. He didn't. 667 00:27:22,520 --> 00:27:25,560 Ah, no. No, he didn't compose it at all. "I wrote that!" 668 00:27:25,560 --> 00:27:26,960 Yeah, it was not him. "OK, sir." 669 00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:28,520 "Yeah, all right, sir, yes." 670 00:27:28,520 --> 00:27:30,360 The real composer's in the Tower. 671 00:27:30,360 --> 00:27:33,960 "I've got an idea for a very, very cold fruity dessert, as well." 672 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:36,120 "In the Tower!" Yeah. 673 00:27:37,120 --> 00:27:39,840 And another nod to Henry is Mr Whippy's hat, 674 00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,680 which Facchino intended to be based on a Tudor hat. 675 00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:44,880 So, if you look at... Told you, straight out... No way! 676 00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:47,800 Straight out of prison. Straight out of prison, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 677 00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:49,440 My friend's mum used to tell her that 678 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:52,160 when the music was playing it meant they'd run out of ice cream. 679 00:27:52,160 --> 00:27:54,960 A common ruse. That's a clever mum. Yeah. But it works, it does work. 680 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:56,360 You wouldn't bother running down 681 00:27:56,360 --> 00:27:58,280 the street after it. If they haven't got any. 682 00:27:58,280 --> 00:28:00,400 When I was a kid, there was two ice cream vans. 683 00:28:00,400 --> 00:28:02,760 There was Mr Whippy and there was Meski's. 684 00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:05,280 And my dad, who was a staunch sort of socialist, 685 00:28:05,280 --> 00:28:09,800 verging on communist, to be fair, said we weren't allowed Mr Whippy's 686 00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:11,400 because Margaret Thatcher 687 00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:15,560 was part of the scientific team who created... That's true, Mr Whippy. 688 00:28:15,560 --> 00:28:17,160 ..Mr Whippy ice cream. 689 00:28:17,160 --> 00:28:21,640 And he disliked her so much we weren't allowed Mr Whippy ice cream. 690 00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:24,440 They always have, like, bootleg cartoons painted on them, 691 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:26,880 don't they, ice-cream vans? Yes, yeah. Yeah. 692 00:28:26,880 --> 00:28:29,000 And you think, if Disney just chased them down, 693 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,360 they wouldn't really need to make any other money. 694 00:28:31,360 --> 00:28:33,960 That dodgy-looking Goofy on the back of there. Yeah. 695 00:28:33,960 --> 00:28:36,800 No, we can make millions from suing you. We're getting it. 696 00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,800 So the question is, why don't ice-cream trucks 697 00:28:38,800 --> 00:28:40,960 update their soundtrack? Why do they not have, like, 698 00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:42,400 a Spotify playlist or something? 699 00:28:42,400 --> 00:28:44,720 Copyright? You don't want Ed Sheeran suing Mr Whippy. 700 00:28:44,720 --> 00:28:47,280 Imagine, who would we choose? We love them both. 701 00:28:47,280 --> 00:28:49,280 Greensleeves is surely out of copyright. Yeah. 702 00:28:49,280 --> 00:28:51,800 That's one reason. One of the reasons is that it's cheaper. 703 00:28:51,800 --> 00:28:54,240 The older tunes are... It's unmistakably an ice-cream van. 704 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,120 That's the other thing, darling. It's that people know what's coming. 705 00:28:57,120 --> 00:28:59,800 It's not just some car with their window down playing loud music. 706 00:28:59,800 --> 00:29:01,480 Beginning of lockdown, 707 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:03,440 I read that Greggs the baker 708 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:05,720 were going to do home deliveries, 709 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,640 and I got excited because I love a pasty from there, 710 00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:11,280 but I slowly realised that what they meant was, like, 711 00:29:11,280 --> 00:29:13,880 on one of these apps, like the delivery apps. Yeah. 712 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:17,520 I thought it was like a Greggs van, like an ice-cream van. Turn up. 713 00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:19,840 And you would just be, like, sat in your living room 714 00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:22,000 and then you would hear the Greggs van music playing 715 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,960 and you'd run to your wife, "Can I have a pound? 716 00:29:23,960 --> 00:29:25,960 "The Greggs van's here." And she'd be like, 717 00:29:25,960 --> 00:29:28,440 "I've got pasties in the freezer." "They're not the same!" 718 00:29:28,440 --> 00:29:30,960 But unfortunately that's not a business that they've done. 719 00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:34,200 You've got pasties in the freezer?! Yeah, they sell them at Iceland. 720 00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:36,840 Look, I'm not going to keep plugging these things! 721 00:29:36,840 --> 00:29:39,320 I feel so sorry for your children. 722 00:29:39,320 --> 00:29:42,240 Come in from a long day of playing with sticks and they say, 723 00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:43,720 "Can I have an ice cream?" 724 00:29:43,720 --> 00:29:46,320 "No, you can lick a frozen pasty like your dad." 725 00:29:49,880 --> 00:29:51,640 If your ice cream smells like shit, 726 00:29:51,640 --> 00:29:53,560 someone's overdone the skatole. 727 00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:56,840 What kind of person gives away their starters? 728 00:29:56,840 --> 00:29:58,880 I sometimes have a starter for pudding. 729 00:29:58,880 --> 00:30:02,000 I'll have an avocado prawn to finish. Yeah, exactly, yeah. Love it. 730 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:05,120 Really? Yeah. Starters used to be terrible in Britain. 731 00:30:05,120 --> 00:30:08,120 I don't know about New Zealand, but they used to be terrible in Britain. 732 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,920 You used to get, "Would you like the orange juice?" The fruit juice. 733 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:12,560 The fruit juice. Yeah. What do you mean? 734 00:30:12,560 --> 00:30:14,360 And it would come on a little thing. 735 00:30:14,360 --> 00:30:16,080 And it would be the only time in the year 736 00:30:16,080 --> 00:30:18,200 that you would get squeezed orange juice. 737 00:30:18,200 --> 00:30:20,800 I'd feel really swizzed at that. Vile. Or you get... 738 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:21,920 We all had scurvy. 739 00:30:21,920 --> 00:30:24,800 ..half a boiled egg with some salad cream, that's a very nice starter. 740 00:30:24,800 --> 00:30:26,360 Oh, yeah, that's a nice one. 741 00:30:26,360 --> 00:30:28,480 When they've taken it out and put it back in again? 742 00:30:28,480 --> 00:30:31,560 No, not even bothered with that. Literally, just half a boiled egg. 743 00:30:31,560 --> 00:30:34,560 No, not the starter course of a meal. What other types of starter? 744 00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,000 Oh, well, then you misled us, didn't you, Sandi? Once again. 745 00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:38,440 That is literally my job. 746 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:40,640 I can't keep giving you second chances. 747 00:30:40,640 --> 00:30:43,240 Is it like a sourdough? It is, exactly right. 748 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:44,880 I had a lot of that in lockdown. 749 00:30:44,880 --> 00:30:46,960 Jason is there, absolutely right. 750 00:30:46,960 --> 00:30:51,920 So sourdough gets its sour flavour from Lactobacillus bacteria, 751 00:30:51,920 --> 00:30:55,000 so that's introduced to the bread via... It's called a starter. 752 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:58,360 It's basically a mix of flour and water, which is left for a number 753 00:30:58,360 --> 00:31:01,720 of days until wild yeast and microbes from the environment have grown. 754 00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:04,160 People, like, pass them through the families, don't they? 755 00:31:04,160 --> 00:31:05,600 Well, this is the thing, darling, 756 00:31:05,600 --> 00:31:08,240 people pass them on and are slightly obsessed with their... 757 00:31:08,240 --> 00:31:10,600 I'm that person. Are you? Have you got a starter? 758 00:31:10,600 --> 00:31:13,280 I do have a starter and I did give it away in the first lockdown. 759 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:14,560 It's a lot of work. 760 00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:17,320 It's the same with scobies, with kombucha, right? Yes. 761 00:31:17,320 --> 00:31:20,080 And people become really obsessed with it. Really obsessed. 762 00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:22,400 In fact, you can tell whose starter it is, 763 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,600 because you get particular bacteria on everybody's hands, right. 764 00:31:25,600 --> 00:31:28,160 So you can usually match a starter to the baker 765 00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:31,120 if you were able to test the bacteria on the hands and the bacteria on... 766 00:31:31,120 --> 00:31:32,800 I'm riddled. I'm absolutely riddled. 767 00:31:32,800 --> 00:31:34,560 You're riddled with the stuff. Yeah. 768 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:37,200 Theoretically, you can keep the starter alive forever and you 769 00:31:37,200 --> 00:31:40,280 just keep feeding it flour and water, and pass it down from generations. 770 00:31:40,280 --> 00:31:43,160 S, it's possible that bakers could be using the same starter 771 00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:46,160 that their great-grandparents used. I'd love to be at that will reading, 772 00:31:46,160 --> 00:31:48,040 where it's, like, someone gets a house, 773 00:31:48,040 --> 00:31:50,360 someone gets a car. "I got a... I got a what?" 774 00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:52,160 Do you know what's even... "Great!" 775 00:31:52,160 --> 00:31:56,080 ..even odder, I think, is that people name their sourdough starters. 776 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:59,680 So there's a series of names, Jane Dough. 777 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:01,400 Joan of Starch. Aw. 778 00:32:01,400 --> 00:32:04,160 Fred Farter the Bread Starter. 779 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:05,720 John McEndough. 780 00:32:05,720 --> 00:32:08,400 And Clint Yeastwood. Yes. Great one, love that. 781 00:32:08,400 --> 00:32:10,280 Very good. Yeah. 782 00:32:10,280 --> 00:32:13,640 So, what is stressful for a sourdough enthusiast about holidays? 783 00:32:13,640 --> 00:32:16,040 Well, you wouldn't be able to take it with you? 784 00:32:16,040 --> 00:32:18,160 You wouldn't be able to take it on holiday with you. 785 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:20,280 You'd have to fridge it, which is quite stressful. 786 00:32:20,280 --> 00:32:22,600 You can't. Ooh, can't, no. What if it starves while... 787 00:32:22,600 --> 00:32:25,360 You look like you could care about sourdough people? 788 00:32:25,360 --> 00:32:27,360 I have no idea what you're talking about. 789 00:32:27,360 --> 00:32:29,880 Imagine you came home and your sourdough was dead. 790 00:32:29,880 --> 00:32:33,280 If you put it in the fridge it goes to sleep for a bit, but the 791 00:32:33,280 --> 00:32:36,320 chances of it coming back as it was, will it have the same memories? 792 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:37,400 Will it be as fun? No. 793 00:32:37,400 --> 00:32:41,040 So there are now sourdough hotels. 794 00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:44,440 Oh, my God. Yes. Finally! Finally, thank you. 795 00:32:44,440 --> 00:32:46,680 Yeah, at last. There's a man called Martin Mayer 796 00:32:46,680 --> 00:32:48,840 who runs the Vuaillat Bakery in Zurich, 797 00:32:48,840 --> 00:32:51,600 and he started his sourdough hotel because he went 798 00:32:51,600 --> 00:32:55,400 on holiday to South Africa and he took it with him, his starter, right, 799 00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:58,600 and he was worried about it in the heat in the car all the time. 800 00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:04,120 And so he developed a hotel, and each starter is put in its own compartment 801 00:33:04,120 --> 00:33:07,520 and the staff are told how the person wants their starter treated. 802 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:10,160 And, apparently, owners come and say goodbye 803 00:33:10,160 --> 00:33:13,000 and are visibly thrilled when they are reunited. Wow. 804 00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,960 It's 49 francs a week, if you want to put your sourdough in there. 805 00:33:15,960 --> 00:33:19,320 That's not bad. Did you not take to baking, darling, in the lockdown? 806 00:33:19,320 --> 00:33:22,520 That didn't happen? No. I've just... What is happening here? 807 00:33:22,520 --> 00:33:25,640 What about these simple questions, Alan, you've eaten sourdough, 808 00:33:25,640 --> 00:33:28,000 you know nothing about the process of making it. 809 00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:30,640 Out of the 706 people in Britain who make their own bread, 810 00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:33,480 four of them are in this room? 811 00:33:33,480 --> 00:33:35,000 People take it so seriously. 812 00:33:35,000 --> 00:33:38,520 So there's a man called... He's a Belgian baker called Karl de Smedt, 813 00:33:38,520 --> 00:33:40,240 and he's a sourdough librarian. 814 00:33:40,240 --> 00:33:42,240 This is his sourdough library. No, he's not. 815 00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:44,960 Yes. That's not a job. It is a thing. I'm sorry. 816 00:33:44,960 --> 00:33:47,600 If you go to the Jobcentre and go, "What have you been up to?" 817 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:50,720 And go, "I'm a sourdough librarian. Anything coming up?" No chance. 818 00:33:50,720 --> 00:33:54,680 He travels the world collecting interesting sourdough starters. 819 00:33:54,680 --> 00:33:58,720 Wow, that's... He's currently got 125 in his library. 820 00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:00,160 Anyway, this is a very sad thing, 821 00:34:00,160 --> 00:34:02,320 I just need you to feel bad for Karl De Smedt. 822 00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:04,960 He's since developed an allergy to flour...! 823 00:34:04,960 --> 00:34:06,120 Wow. 824 00:34:07,320 --> 00:34:08,880 Oh, Karl... 825 00:34:08,880 --> 00:34:11,840 Do you know what the difference is between ordinary bread and sourdough? 826 00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:13,960 Taste, price? No, it's the yeast. 827 00:34:13,960 --> 00:34:16,640 So most bread uses a single species of commercial yeast. 828 00:34:16,640 --> 00:34:19,760 Sourdough, it takes it from the air, from the baker's hands, 829 00:34:19,760 --> 00:34:21,880 from the environment and so on. 830 00:34:21,880 --> 00:34:25,240 But it is the oldest form of leavened bread, sourdough. 831 00:34:25,240 --> 00:34:28,200 I mean, there's astonishing stuff, if you went to Thebes, 832 00:34:28,200 --> 00:34:30,520 if you went to some of the ancient Egyptian sites, 833 00:34:30,520 --> 00:34:34,640 you can actually find 3,500-year-old bread. 834 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:38,120 And what is amazing about it is you can see the handprint 835 00:34:38,120 --> 00:34:40,680 of the baker in either side of the bread. 836 00:34:40,680 --> 00:34:43,320 3,000 years old? 3,500 years ago, yeah. Really? That's the kind 837 00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:45,520 of bread that my mum would just go, "No, that's fine!" 838 00:34:45,520 --> 00:34:47,680 It's fine. "That's fine. Just scrape it off!" 839 00:34:47,680 --> 00:34:49,960 "Cut the green bit off." "Scrape it off!" Yeah. 840 00:34:49,960 --> 00:34:52,080 And with that we stumble into the sweet 841 00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:53,880 and sour swamp of General Ignorance. 842 00:34:53,880 --> 00:34:55,320 Fingers on buzzers, please. 843 00:34:55,320 --> 00:34:58,200 Where does the UK get most of its sugar from? 844 00:35:00,000 --> 00:35:01,600 Yes? # Sweet dreams... # 845 00:35:01,600 --> 00:35:03,120 Morrison's? 846 00:35:03,120 --> 00:35:04,600 Morrison's. 847 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:10,400 Good answer, yeah. I think it's a very good answer. Yeah. 848 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:12,680 Anybody want to name any other places? 849 00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:14,160 Hm. 850 00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:19,880 No? What's a country, OK? What is a country...? 851 00:35:19,880 --> 00:35:20,960 Just generally? 852 00:35:20,960 --> 00:35:22,760 # Sweet Home Alabama... # Just any country, 853 00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:24,280 it comes from a country? 854 00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:26,520 Does it come from a country? 855 00:35:26,520 --> 00:35:27,880 A country other than the UK? Yes. 856 00:35:27,880 --> 00:35:29,720 No. What? 857 00:35:29,720 --> 00:35:32,040 Yes. So not... I thought that was foolproof. 858 00:35:32,040 --> 00:35:33,760 No. You went... 859 00:35:33,760 --> 00:35:36,880 You went wide and were wrong. 860 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:41,360 No. Over 50% is supplied by the British beet sugar industry. 861 00:35:41,360 --> 00:35:43,560 And the rest is from the EU, 862 00:35:43,560 --> 00:35:45,640 and then there is a bit of cane sugar imported, 863 00:35:45,640 --> 00:35:47,680 but the majority is grown in the UK. 864 00:35:47,680 --> 00:35:49,480 On the topic of Britain and sugar, 865 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:51,680 do you think we're eating more or less than we used to? 866 00:35:51,680 --> 00:35:53,240 I think we're probably eating less. 867 00:35:53,240 --> 00:35:55,760 Yeah, it sort of depends on what you say what we were used to. 868 00:35:55,760 --> 00:35:58,320 So there was a significant increase in sugar intake 869 00:35:58,320 --> 00:36:00,120 starting around the 1950s 870 00:36:00,120 --> 00:36:04,200 and it reached 47.3 kilos per capita in 1961. 871 00:36:04,200 --> 00:36:05,520 But it has been declining. 872 00:36:05,520 --> 00:36:09,240 Today it's about 35.2 kilos of sugar per person. 873 00:36:09,240 --> 00:36:12,680 But the sweeteners, anybody use sweeteners? No. No. OK. 874 00:36:12,680 --> 00:36:14,680 Saccharin, the first artificial sweetener, 875 00:36:14,680 --> 00:36:17,520 roughly 300 times sweeter than table sugar. 876 00:36:17,520 --> 00:36:20,360 And Splenda, which is sucralose, 600 times sweeter. 877 00:36:20,360 --> 00:36:22,800 There's a new one called Neotame, 878 00:36:22,800 --> 00:36:25,440 10,000 times sweeter than sugar. 879 00:36:25,440 --> 00:36:28,680 My nan loves it, loves a Sucral in her tea. Really? Yeah. 880 00:36:28,680 --> 00:36:32,080 Yeah, my gran has a couple of... She's 97 and she has - 881 00:36:32,080 --> 00:36:34,360 I think she has something like two or three sweeteners. 882 00:36:34,360 --> 00:36:36,600 And she's 97. Yes. Doesn't matter, does it? 883 00:36:36,600 --> 00:36:38,240 She's already living on borrowed time. 884 00:36:38,240 --> 00:36:39,640 She can have whatever she wants. 885 00:36:39,640 --> 00:36:42,800 She could start crack tomorrow if she wants to, at 97. 886 00:36:42,800 --> 00:36:45,720 "Well, do you know, I fancy a bit of crack, actually." 887 00:36:45,720 --> 00:36:49,240 Help yourself. Fine, 97, knock yourself out. 888 00:36:49,240 --> 00:36:52,880 Most British sugar is home-grown. 889 00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,400 What did William Wrigley Junior start a company for? 890 00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,320 # Alabama... # 891 00:36:57,320 --> 00:36:58,800 It's chewing gum? 892 00:36:58,800 --> 00:36:59,960 KLAXON BLARES 893 00:36:59,960 --> 00:37:02,120 Oh, I was totally going to say that. I'm so glad. 894 00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:03,160 Yeah, I, oh... 895 00:37:03,160 --> 00:37:07,000 Alan? Chewing gum was a kind of accidental by-product 896 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:09,280 to something, wasn't it, that they were trying to make? 897 00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:11,720 Well, chewing gum has been around for thousands of years, 898 00:37:11,720 --> 00:37:15,200 because people chewed on birch sap and all kinds of bits. 899 00:37:15,200 --> 00:37:18,560 He actually started a company selling soap, in 1891. 900 00:37:18,560 --> 00:37:20,640 But he believed - he had a philosophy, 901 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,640 everybody likes something extra for nothing. 902 00:37:22,640 --> 00:37:25,680 So he started offering baking powder as a promotional item 903 00:37:25,680 --> 00:37:28,040 and that was such a success, he just went straight 904 00:37:28,040 --> 00:37:29,160 to baking powder. 905 00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:30,960 And then chewing gum became his freebie. 906 00:37:30,960 --> 00:37:34,960 And soon the chewing gum was more popular than anything else. 907 00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:38,680 And by 1892 he was just selling chewing gum, 908 00:37:38,680 --> 00:37:41,800 and these favourites, Juicy Fruit and Spearmint there, 909 00:37:41,800 --> 00:37:45,480 1893, they had become the absolute favourites 910 00:37:45,480 --> 00:37:47,040 that they I think still are. 911 00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:49,520 That's incredible that the branding is pretty much the same. 912 00:37:49,520 --> 00:37:51,560 Hasn't really changed, has it? Not really. 913 00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:54,040 By 1909, Wrigley's Spearmint was the best-selling gum 914 00:37:54,040 --> 00:37:55,760 in the US. And he did this brilliant thing, 915 00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:58,160 he collected all the addresses from American phone books 916 00:37:58,160 --> 00:37:59,960 and sent a packet to every single home. 917 00:37:59,960 --> 00:38:02,680 And then everybody knew about Wrigley's. And the rest is history. 918 00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:04,680 But to talk about people chewing gum forever - 919 00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:08,960 in 2019, scientists at the University of Copenhagen... 920 00:38:08,960 --> 00:38:10,000 Globe... 921 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:12,800 They managed - this is astonishing. 922 00:38:12,800 --> 00:38:16,480 They managed to sequence a complete genome of a human being 923 00:38:16,480 --> 00:38:19,960 based on the saliva from a discarded piece of chewing gum 924 00:38:19,960 --> 00:38:23,960 which was 5,000 years old. 925 00:38:23,960 --> 00:38:25,760 Wow. It came from the Island of Lolland. 926 00:38:25,760 --> 00:38:27,480 Lolland is just south of Copenhagen 927 00:38:27,480 --> 00:38:30,240 and so they named this girl who had eaten this piece 928 00:38:30,240 --> 00:38:32,520 of chewing gum Lola, they called her, after Lolland. 929 00:38:32,520 --> 00:38:35,640 And they deduced from this one piece of gum 930 00:38:35,640 --> 00:38:37,720 that she was lactose intolerant, 931 00:38:37,720 --> 00:38:39,760 she suffered from gum disease, she had blue eyes, 932 00:38:39,760 --> 00:38:41,040 dark skin, dark hair 933 00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,360 and had recently eaten a meal of duck 934 00:38:43,360 --> 00:38:45,680 with hazelnuts, from that one piece of gum. 935 00:38:45,680 --> 00:38:47,400 Wow. Do you not think that's astonishing? 936 00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:50,440 And she wasn't brought up right if she stuck that under a bus seat. 937 00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:52,600 That's amazing. 938 00:38:52,600 --> 00:38:55,360 But I just think that's incredible. That is, that's so cool. 939 00:38:55,360 --> 00:38:57,240 That's phenomenal, wow. It's very cool. 940 00:38:57,240 --> 00:38:59,960 Anyway, this is an artist's impression of what we know about her. 941 00:38:59,960 --> 00:39:04,480 Can you name any South American countries due south of Mexico? 942 00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:07,480 Brazil? 943 00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:09,360 KLAXON BLARES 944 00:39:11,240 --> 00:39:14,440 It's going to be none of them, isn't it? Argentina. 945 00:39:14,440 --> 00:39:16,520 KLAXON BLARES 946 00:39:16,520 --> 00:39:18,320 What, so what is it? There aren't any? 947 00:39:18,320 --> 00:39:20,000 Chile. 948 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,680 KLAXON BLARES 949 00:39:22,680 --> 00:39:24,080 What do you reckon, Alan? 950 00:39:24,080 --> 00:39:26,720 Well, it feels like there can't be any, then. 951 00:39:26,720 --> 00:39:29,360 There aren't. The whole... OK, it must be twisted around. 952 00:39:29,360 --> 00:39:31,200 Yeah, so, so when you look at the map, 953 00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:34,960 the whole of the South American mainland is east of Mexico. 954 00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:37,000 Indeed, 99% of it is east of Florida. 955 00:39:37,000 --> 00:39:38,880 The only exception is Easter Island, 956 00:39:38,880 --> 00:39:40,800 which does politically belong to Chile. 957 00:39:40,800 --> 00:39:43,560 So you could have said Chile and we wouldn't have... I did say Chile. 958 00:39:43,560 --> 00:39:47,120 Did you say Chile? Yeah, so scrub that, I was right. Yeah, sorry. 959 00:39:47,120 --> 00:39:48,840 KLAXON BLARES 960 00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:55,720 One way to remember that South America sticks out like that 961 00:39:55,720 --> 00:39:57,360 is to sort of imagine it on its side 962 00:39:57,360 --> 00:39:59,880 and then the Americas look uncannily like a duck. 963 00:39:59,880 --> 00:40:03,280 If we can swivel that round like that. 964 00:40:03,280 --> 00:40:05,040 Oh, wow. That's very cool, isn't it? 965 00:40:05,040 --> 00:40:07,160 Yeah. I mean, it helps that you've coloured it in. 966 00:40:07,160 --> 00:40:08,760 Yeah. I think that is true. 967 00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:12,120 Yeah. A lot of things can look like a duck if you colour them in. 968 00:40:12,120 --> 00:40:13,520 You may think it's quackers, 969 00:40:13,520 --> 00:40:16,200 but all of South America is east of Mexico. 970 00:40:16,200 --> 00:40:18,400 OK, imagine you work for British intelligence, 971 00:40:18,400 --> 00:40:19,920 who can you tell? 972 00:40:20,920 --> 00:40:22,800 Well, anybody, but then you have to kill them. 973 00:40:22,800 --> 00:40:24,200 KLAXON BLARES 974 00:40:24,200 --> 00:40:25,520 What? 975 00:40:29,440 --> 00:40:30,800 Wow. 976 00:40:30,800 --> 00:40:33,120 Are you in my head now? 977 00:40:33,120 --> 00:40:35,400 KLAXON BLARES 978 00:40:42,560 --> 00:40:44,880 No, it's not the answer. Anybody else? 979 00:40:44,880 --> 00:40:46,360 Your mum? 980 00:40:46,360 --> 00:40:49,880 You could tell your mum. Yes, you could tell your mum. 981 00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:52,120 How many people do you think you could tell? Two people. 982 00:40:52,120 --> 00:40:53,920 It's not actually a number, darling. What? 983 00:40:53,920 --> 00:40:56,560 It's the people that you feel it's essential for you to tell 984 00:40:56,560 --> 00:40:58,680 in order for you to be able to carry on with the work. 985 00:40:58,680 --> 00:41:01,000 So you just started seeing a guy, like, for two months 986 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,280 and you're, like, "I just want to tell him." 987 00:41:03,280 --> 00:41:04,960 Yes. And then, I... 988 00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:07,840 And then you get assigned an agent handler to discuss 989 00:41:07,840 --> 00:41:10,080 the pros and cons of making an informed decision 990 00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:11,600 as to whether or not you should tell. 991 00:41:11,600 --> 00:41:13,840 Really? Yeah. So they'll check it out. 992 00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:17,680 The general advice is to tell close family members or friends. OK. 993 00:41:17,680 --> 00:41:20,360 There was an MI6 employee who was invited by the BBC 994 00:41:20,360 --> 00:41:22,720 to be interviewed, and he told them that the interviewer 995 00:41:22,720 --> 00:41:25,200 was the sixth person he had told. 996 00:41:25,200 --> 00:41:27,160 I mean, I'm not saying it's the same thing, 997 00:41:27,160 --> 00:41:29,600 but I didn't tell anybody I was on the Masked Singer. 998 00:41:29,600 --> 00:41:31,960 So, you know, that's pretty good. Were you on that? 999 00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:34,440 Yeah, that's pretty good isn't it? What were you on it? 1000 00:41:34,440 --> 00:41:37,000 I was an 'edgehog. You're the sixth person I've told. 1001 00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:38,840 LAUGHTER 1002 00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:40,920 And now she has to die. I know. 1003 00:41:40,920 --> 00:41:43,360 I didn't even tell my daughter, and on the night of the final, 1004 00:41:43,360 --> 00:41:46,000 when it was happening, she was watching it at a friend's 1005 00:41:46,000 --> 00:41:48,320 and all her friends were going, "That's your daddy." 1006 00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:51,360 And she was going, "I think I would know if my dad was on a TV show." 1007 00:41:51,360 --> 00:41:53,720 As it came off, she was livid. 1008 00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:56,880 Was it stressful not to tell anyone? No, it's great fun. 1009 00:41:56,880 --> 00:42:00,040 The only time it backfired was, I was on the phone to Alfie Boe, 1010 00:42:00,040 --> 00:42:02,840 who's, you know, brilliant opera singer, good friend of mine, 1011 00:42:02,840 --> 00:42:05,280 and I said, "Have you been watching this Masked Singer?" 1012 00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:07,520 He said, "Yeah, every Saturday night, I keep getting 1013 00:42:07,520 --> 00:42:09,960 "loads of tweets off people saying, 'Are you the hedgehog?' 1014 00:42:09,960 --> 00:42:12,600 "So I thought, I'll watch it, see what everyone's going on about. 1015 00:42:12,600 --> 00:42:15,000 "I watched this hedgehog singing and I thought to myself, 1016 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,000 "'I'm not that shit at singing, am I?'" 1017 00:42:17,000 --> 00:42:19,680 Oh, wow. And I was, I was on the phone to him, I was like, 1018 00:42:19,680 --> 00:42:22,720 "Yeah, well, maybe the costume's really heavy or something!" 1019 00:42:24,160 --> 00:42:25,760 That's very good. 1020 00:42:25,760 --> 00:42:28,680 There's a marvellous story about Rupert Murdoch. So he was furious, 1021 00:42:28,680 --> 00:42:30,960 he was told that the former News Of The World editor, 1022 00:42:30,960 --> 00:42:32,560 Rebekah Brooks, couldn't take a call 1023 00:42:32,560 --> 00:42:35,280 because she'd gone to the furniture store, which is called MFI. 1024 00:42:35,280 --> 00:42:37,920 And, apparently, her PA had misheard her 1025 00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:40,360 and she'd gone to an MI5 meeting. 1026 00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:45,600 I think if you work for MFI, you shouldn't tell anybody. 1027 00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:49,160 Speaking of concealing your intelligence, 1028 00:42:49,160 --> 00:42:50,440 it must be time for the scores. 1029 00:42:50,440 --> 00:42:51,720 In last place, 1030 00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:53,720 as useful as a chocolate teapot, 1031 00:42:53,720 --> 00:42:56,120 with minus 28, it's Alice. 1032 00:42:56,120 --> 00:42:57,520 APPLAUSE 1033 00:42:58,960 --> 00:43:02,480 Scoring some brownie points in third with minus 24, it's Alan. 1034 00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,000 APPLAUSE 1035 00:43:06,840 --> 00:43:10,520 A super sugar-daddy in second, 1036 00:43:10,520 --> 00:43:13,080 with minus 20, it's Jason. I'll take that, I'll take that. 1037 00:43:13,080 --> 00:43:14,720 Second will do me. 1038 00:43:16,080 --> 00:43:18,040 And one smart cookie in first place, 1039 00:43:18,040 --> 00:43:20,200 with minus 19, it's Rose. 1040 00:43:20,200 --> 00:43:22,600 CHEERING 1041 00:43:27,480 --> 00:43:29,640 That's all from us tonight. My thanks to Alice, 1042 00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:31,480 Jason, Rose and Alan. 1043 00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:33,480 And I leave you with this savoury sign-off. 1044 00:43:33,480 --> 00:43:35,920 If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, 1045 00:43:35,920 --> 00:43:37,200 talks like a duck, 1046 00:43:37,200 --> 00:43:39,440 probably needs a little bit more time in the oven. 1047 00:43:39,440 --> 00:43:41,080 Goodnight. 1048 00:43:41,080 --> 00:43:43,400 APPLAUSE