1 00:00:23,920 --> 00:00:27,800 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 2 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:35,040 Hello and welcome to QI, 3 00:00:35,040 --> 00:00:37,880 which tonight is simply sensational, 4 00:00:37,880 --> 00:00:40,880 so keep your eyes open, your ears peeled, 5 00:00:40,880 --> 00:00:43,800 your nostrils flared, your tongue hanging out 6 00:00:43,800 --> 00:00:46,400 and your hands to yourself as we meet. 7 00:00:46,400 --> 00:00:50,160 A sight for sore eyes, it's Jessica Fostekew. 8 00:00:50,160 --> 00:00:52,040 APPLAUSE 9 00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:57,280 A touch of class, Roisin Conaty. 10 00:00:57,280 --> 00:00:59,440 APPLAUSE 11 00:01:00,680 --> 00:01:03,080 A taste of heaven, Aisling Bea. Oh! 12 00:01:03,080 --> 00:01:04,640 APPLAUSE 13 00:01:06,440 --> 00:01:09,040 And somehow still here, Alan Davies. 14 00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,320 APPLAUSE 15 00:01:12,640 --> 00:01:15,320 And their sounds are a feast for the senses. 16 00:01:15,320 --> 00:01:16,800 Jessica goes. 17 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:21,280 # I see trees of green... Oh, lovely! 18 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:24,560 # Red roses, too. # 19 00:01:24,560 --> 00:01:26,160 Roisin goes... 20 00:01:26,160 --> 00:01:29,760 # I hear music 21 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:32,520 # Mighty fine music. # 22 00:01:32,520 --> 00:01:34,400 Aisling goes... 23 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,560 MUSIC: U Can't Touch This 24 00:01:34,400 --> 00:01:37,560 Oh, yeah. 25 00:01:38,960 --> 00:01:40,120 Alan goes... 26 00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:45,560 # Oh, I think I smell a rat 27 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:48,080 # Oh, I think I smell a rat. # 28 00:01:48,080 --> 00:01:50,360 LAUGHTER 29 00:01:50,360 --> 00:01:52,320 Sorry about that. 30 00:01:52,320 --> 00:01:54,320 Don't know what to make of that. 31 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:55,960 Now, on with the questions. 32 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:59,600 What's the main sense that a typist uses? 33 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:02,120 Sense of foreboding, 34 00:02:02,120 --> 00:02:04,920 because you're soon to be unemployed 35 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:08,440 because of the never-ending advancement of technology? 36 00:02:08,440 --> 00:02:10,160 That is a very good idea. 37 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:12,800 There are, as I think Alan will know from previous episodes, 38 00:02:12,800 --> 00:02:15,880 there are more than five senses. It depends on how you define them. 39 00:02:15,880 --> 00:02:18,320 There are between nine and 26, to be honest. Oh! 40 00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:21,480 But we are thinking of one called proprioception. 41 00:02:21,480 --> 00:02:22,840 You know the oceptions. 42 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:26,600 Yes. We are talking... Ah, proprioception! 43 00:02:26,600 --> 00:02:28,160 A lovely man, but a racist. 44 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:30,080 LAUGHTER 45 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:31,520 It's also known as kinaesthesia. 46 00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:34,680 It's the body's ability to sense its movement 47 00:02:34,680 --> 00:02:36,600 and location without looking. 48 00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:39,680 It's why we don't have to look at our feet when we walk, 49 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:42,560 or we don't have to look at the fork when we eat. 50 00:02:42,560 --> 00:02:44,880 It allows the body to perform simultaneous actions 51 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:47,320 without stopping to think about each one separately, 52 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:49,800 so you can dribble a basketball while running. 53 00:02:49,800 --> 00:02:53,120 And touch-typing is achieved through this, through proprioception, 54 00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:55,280 knowing where the keys are without looking. 55 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:58,360 The only thing that you really need in order to get started is, 56 00:02:58,360 --> 00:03:01,680 you know the F and the J have a little raised thing on them... 57 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:03,320 Yes, that's why they're there! 58 00:03:03,320 --> 00:03:06,800 I wondered why they had a nipple. That's it! 59 00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:09,280 I thought they were the keyboard's boobs. 60 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:12,400 Jess just texted me like, "F, J, F, J, F, J, F, J..." 61 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:14,040 I'm like, "All right, Jess." 62 00:03:15,200 --> 00:03:18,480 SHE CLEARS HER THROAT 63 00:03:18,480 --> 00:03:21,800 When I was in school, we, all the girls, were taught to touch-type 64 00:03:21,800 --> 00:03:25,000 and to do speedwriting or shorthand. 65 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,480 The way we were taught was, you had a black apron 66 00:03:27,480 --> 00:03:29,400 that went over the back of the typewriter 67 00:03:29,400 --> 00:03:30,880 and round the back of your neck. 68 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,840 Then you had to put your hands in underneath. 69 00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:35,400 I bet all sorts went on under there. 70 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:37,400 More than one use for a space bar. 71 00:03:37,400 --> 00:03:38,440 Yeah. 72 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:40,920 LAUGHTER 73 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:44,440 POSH VOICE: Well, actually, Alan, 74 00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,920 a lot of good novels are written there, so up yours. 75 00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,600 I type so much now that I think better 76 00:03:50,600 --> 00:03:52,000 by not looking. 77 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,800 If you have to handwrite, it takes forever. 78 00:03:53,800 --> 00:03:55,960 Have you handwritten a letter recently? It's hell. 79 00:03:55,960 --> 00:03:59,240 By the third page, it looked like I was sending, like, a death threat. 80 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,400 I'd lost all patience. I was just, like, scrawling. 81 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,800 Literally, I can't... There's no way to sustain this. 82 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:10,760 I just had to end the letter with, "Things are fine. The end." 83 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:11,960 Yeah. 84 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,880 You need proprioception, all of us do, in order, for example, 85 00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:17,520 to touch your nose with your eyes shut. 86 00:04:17,520 --> 00:04:20,840 So, if you shut your eyes and try and touch your nose. No problem. 87 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:22,720 Oh... 88 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:24,440 I slowed down when I did it, 89 00:04:24,440 --> 00:04:26,720 cos I genuinely thought I was going way off. 90 00:04:27,920 --> 00:04:30,760 I definitely went round the houses. When would you be way off? 91 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:33,360 When is an example of when you would be way off? 92 00:04:33,360 --> 00:04:36,000 I've no idea, Sandi, if you get my drift. 93 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:40,280 Drunk. Yeah, it's one of the sobriety tests that are used. 94 00:04:40,280 --> 00:04:43,440 There's sort of five standard impairment tests the police use. 95 00:04:43,440 --> 00:04:46,560 Any idea what the other ones are when checking for drink-driving? 96 00:04:46,560 --> 00:04:48,760 Walking one foot in front of the other. 97 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:51,360 Yeah, so heel-toe, walking in a straight line. 98 00:04:51,360 --> 00:04:53,240 Standing on one leg is another one. 99 00:04:53,240 --> 00:04:55,720 Checking the pupils aren't too big or your eyes too watery. 100 00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:57,360 And the internal clock test. Ooh. 101 00:04:57,360 --> 00:05:01,160 So you shut your eyes and see when you think 30 seconds have passed 102 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:04,800 and if you're piddled, you can't do it. You fall asleep. 103 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,640 There is a quick way to demonstrate proprioception, 104 00:05:07,640 --> 00:05:10,920 so put an arm in the air with a fist clenched, OK, 105 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:12,880 but your thumb sticking out. 106 00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:16,760 Close your eyes and grab your thumb with your thumb and forefinger 107 00:05:16,760 --> 00:05:17,960 on the other hand. 108 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,040 For a second, I thought I could cheat by watching everyone else. 109 00:05:22,040 --> 00:05:25,120 Is someone undoing my flies? 110 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:28,480 Well, I have to get the fun where I can, Alan. 111 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:30,040 Just looking for the space bar. 112 00:05:30,040 --> 00:05:31,640 Yeah. 113 00:05:31,640 --> 00:05:35,280 So, it's along with our sense of touch, temperature, pain, movement, 114 00:05:35,280 --> 00:05:38,720 it's all part of what's called the somatosensory system. 115 00:05:38,720 --> 00:05:42,200 So, it's the sensation that can occur anywhere on the body 116 00:05:42,200 --> 00:05:45,040 as opposed to in a particular organ like the eye. 117 00:05:45,040 --> 00:05:47,960 Have you noticed, though, that the amount people touch each other 118 00:05:47,960 --> 00:05:49,600 varies with culture? 119 00:05:49,600 --> 00:05:52,960 There was a Canadian psychologist in 1966 called Sidney Jourard 120 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:55,920 and he studied couples in coffee bars around the world - 121 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:59,760 both romantic and platonic, same, opposite sex and so on. 122 00:05:59,760 --> 00:06:03,800 Couples in Puerto Rico touch each other 180 times an hour. OK? 123 00:06:03,800 --> 00:06:06,000 Couples in Paris... 124 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:09,080 ..110 times an hour. 125 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:10,400 London? 126 00:06:10,400 --> 00:06:13,440 Oh, no, it's going to be heartbreaking, isn't it? One? Never. 127 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:15,520 Never. Never. Never. 128 00:06:15,520 --> 00:06:17,000 Not at all. 129 00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,480 Absolutely zero. 130 00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:20,360 "Don't touch, eurgh!" Whoa. 131 00:06:20,360 --> 00:06:23,240 But then there's, like, creeps, who are a culture unto themselves. 132 00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:26,000 Yeah. And they can be from anywhere. Imagine if someone's like, 133 00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:28,320 "Oh, don't worry, I'm just being Brazilian!" 134 00:06:28,320 --> 00:06:31,840 "I feel like I'm in Paris - that's why I'm doing it!" 135 00:06:31,840 --> 00:06:35,000 "I know it's not London, but I'm a Parisian Londoner!" 136 00:06:37,640 --> 00:06:40,480 OK, if you're a bit Parisian, I suppose, but... 137 00:06:40,480 --> 00:06:42,640 Only because of QI am I letting you do this. 138 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:45,680 What about... Are the Irish more tactile? 139 00:06:45,680 --> 00:06:47,760 I think we're more hitty 140 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:51,800 and this sort of, like, "Stop it! No! Seriously, go on!" 141 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:56,520 That "stop it", "seriously" - you push and you shove a lot more. 142 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,880 And here, that comes across as quite aggressive. Yes. 143 00:06:58,880 --> 00:07:02,400 I think they touch more than the English on the whole - 144 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:04,560 whether it's gentle is a different story! 145 00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:07,680 But you'll be piled in together a bit more. Yeah. 146 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:08,800 Right, moving on. 147 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:12,040 During the Renaissance, who ate better than a king? 148 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:18,320 Would it be maybe the king's, like, servant or, like, waiter? Why? 149 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:21,960 Because I had lots of waiting jobs as a teenager 150 00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:25,520 and I ate loads, I ate loads of the stuff off the plates. 151 00:07:25,520 --> 00:07:27,240 You were heading in the right direction, 152 00:07:27,240 --> 00:07:28,480 but not quite getting there. 153 00:07:28,480 --> 00:07:31,600 Cos they'd have a poison tester with a king or queen. Poison tester. 154 00:07:31,600 --> 00:07:32,840 Yes. It's the poison tester. 155 00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,200 They would taste everything in Renaissance Europe 156 00:07:35,200 --> 00:07:36,360 that the royal had to eat 157 00:07:36,360 --> 00:07:38,760 and also large amounts of it, not just a nibble. 158 00:07:38,760 --> 00:07:42,320 If it was just a nibble, you wouldn't pick up enough poison. 159 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:45,160 They had to eat spoonfuls from the royal plate. 160 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:46,640 If it was beautifully intact, 161 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,760 say it had a sort of pastry lid or something, 162 00:07:48,760 --> 00:07:51,320 they would have to break it open and dip bread in. 163 00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:53,440 By the time the poor royal received their meal, 164 00:07:53,440 --> 00:07:55,960 it was probably cold and half-eaten or demolished, in fact. 165 00:07:55,960 --> 00:07:57,680 And then, on top of that, it had to be bland 166 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,720 because strong flavours, of course, would... 167 00:07:59,720 --> 00:08:02,440 What if the poison tester's the poisoner? 168 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:06,320 Genius! There's Murder She Wrote. The novel writes itself. 169 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,360 AISLING HUMS 170 00:08:07,360 --> 00:08:10,000 Just constantly making out things look dodgy. 171 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,680 I don't know... Ohh. Like... 172 00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:13,520 If it's like something with rhubarb in it, 173 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:16,240 like, you're fine, no-one would poison rhubarb. Eat it. 174 00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:17,600 Or a Brussels sprout. 175 00:08:17,600 --> 00:08:19,720 There was a physician called Ambroise Pare, 176 00:08:19,720 --> 00:08:22,080 who was a physician to four kings of France 177 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:23,920 and he wrote in 1585, 178 00:08:23,920 --> 00:08:26,560 "Anybody afraid of being poisoned should be wary of meats 179 00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:29,520 "cooked with much art, very sweet, salty, sour 180 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,200 "or notably endued with any other taste." 181 00:08:32,200 --> 00:08:34,160 So... Was he my Uncle Alan? 182 00:08:34,160 --> 00:08:36,160 LAUGHTER 183 00:08:36,160 --> 00:08:40,400 When I was on holiday in Vietnam, there was this hotel in Saigon, 184 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,840 which was where a lot of the foreign correspondents stayed 185 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,280 during the war. And there was so much sickness 186 00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:49,800 and food poisoning and general unwellness that they trusted nothing 187 00:08:49,800 --> 00:08:54,920 except... bottle of whisky and a hard-boiled egg. 188 00:08:54,920 --> 00:08:56,880 Those were the only things that they thought 189 00:08:56,880 --> 00:08:58,840 there was no way you could get ill from. 190 00:08:58,840 --> 00:09:00,800 I see nothing wrong with that diet! 191 00:09:00,800 --> 00:09:03,120 As a basic diet, it's all right, isn't it? 192 00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:05,640 LAUGHTER Keep you going till lunch. Yeah! 193 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:10,160 My brother and a few friends of mine served as foreign correspondents 194 00:09:10,160 --> 00:09:12,720 in Beirut when there was terrible troubles there. Ah. 195 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,120 And they used to go to the same bar every night. 196 00:09:15,120 --> 00:09:18,080 There was a parrot that learnt to do the sound of incoming missiles. 197 00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:21,400 All of the foreign journalists knew this, 198 00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:24,600 and the parrot would start to do the sound of the incoming missile 199 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,960 and anybody who'd never been before was diving for cover 200 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,960 and getting out of the chairs and the journalists were all like, 201 00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:33,280 "It's the parrot." What a good plot device! Amazing! 202 00:09:33,280 --> 00:09:35,320 It's something to show that someone's like, 203 00:09:35,320 --> 00:09:37,400 "Oh, yes, I've been here 100 times!" Then... 204 00:09:37,400 --> 00:09:39,680 SHE WHISTLES 205 00:09:39,680 --> 00:09:42,200 And he's like, "They didn't know about the parrot!" 206 00:09:42,200 --> 00:09:44,160 # Do, do, doo... # 207 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:47,240 In Pare's time, it was believed that bezoar stones 208 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,080 could cure the effects of any poison. 209 00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:51,480 Anybody know what a bezoar stone is? There is one. 210 00:09:51,480 --> 00:09:53,480 A badly-cooked potato. 211 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:57,960 Well, it's a food-related thing. Is it? 212 00:09:57,960 --> 00:10:00,480 Is it something's turd? 213 00:10:00,480 --> 00:10:01,720 You are the closest. 214 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:05,800 Oh! It's an undigested mass found in the digestive system. 215 00:10:05,800 --> 00:10:09,120 Bleurgh! Bezoar is Persian for antidote or counter-poison. 216 00:10:09,120 --> 00:10:12,520 The theory was that if you had a bezoar stone, it would cure you, 217 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:16,280 so they decided to do a test on this and they performed an experiment. 218 00:10:16,280 --> 00:10:18,320 This same guy, Pare, that I was telling you about, 219 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:19,640 this 16th-century physician, 220 00:10:19,640 --> 00:10:22,600 he performed an experiment on a cook at the king's court. 221 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:25,800 The cook had been caught stealing some fine silver cutlery 222 00:10:25,800 --> 00:10:27,760 and he was sentenced to death by hanging, 223 00:10:27,760 --> 00:10:30,240 so the cook agreed to be poisoned instead, 224 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:35,160 and Pare then used the bezoar stone to cure him. 225 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,320 Cook died in agony seven 226 00:10:35,160 --> 00:10:37,320 ROISIN GASPS 227 00:10:37,320 --> 00:10:39,040 Yeah. Wait, I'm confused. It didn't work. 228 00:10:39,040 --> 00:10:41,760 Is that an old poo? 229 00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:44,440 No, it's undigested stuff from inside the digestive... 230 00:10:44,440 --> 00:10:45,800 It's got the makings of a poo, 231 00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:47,920 but it never got out. Yeah. It's a poo foetus. 232 00:10:47,920 --> 00:10:50,560 Oh-oh-oh-oh-oh! It's a potential poo. 233 00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,840 It's a wannabe poo. ROISIN: It's a potential poo. 234 00:10:52,840 --> 00:10:57,880 Yeah. It's not.... All poos are equal under God's eyes. 235 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,920 Don't touch it. Wait for it to come out. 236 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,640 God intended out the back. Out the back! 237 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,280 They were really malleable. 238 00:11:08,280 --> 00:11:11,720 They could be worth ten times their weight in gold. Who's buying these? 239 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:15,080 But did they have to cut open a person to get them out? 240 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:18,200 No, I don't think you can go up the back and find it. 241 00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:19,400 Yeah, just have a rummage. 242 00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:22,200 I don't think that... It's like... That's more like Bollywood. 243 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:24,520 It's a bit late to tell me that now, Alan. 244 00:11:24,520 --> 00:11:27,160 You've got your evening planned. 245 00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:28,680 LAUGHTER 246 00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:32,000 They mostly came out of animals like goats and not humans, so... 247 00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:34,320 It's a bit disconcerting that it's sort of nestling 248 00:11:34,320 --> 00:11:37,280 in a Moses basket. Yeah. We do love him. 249 00:11:37,280 --> 00:11:39,360 Now, we were going to get rid of him at one stage, 250 00:11:39,360 --> 00:11:41,560 but now, I have to say, absolutely over the moon 251 00:11:41,560 --> 00:11:42,720 with this bezoar stone. 252 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:44,760 Only a mother could love it. 253 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:46,680 Royalty would often own several. 254 00:11:46,680 --> 00:11:49,080 They would have some of them set as jewellery. Hmm. 255 00:11:49,080 --> 00:11:51,840 And then not only was the food tested, Queen Elizabeth I's 256 00:11:51,840 --> 00:11:54,640 ladies-in-waiting would try on all her clothing in the morning 257 00:11:54,640 --> 00:11:56,640 just to make sure that wasn't poisoned as well. 258 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:59,360 I mean, it was a very, very big deal. Wow. 259 00:11:59,360 --> 00:12:01,760 Pulling a bra off and handing it over. 260 00:12:01,760 --> 00:12:05,800 And probably pointless, because most poisons take hours to take effect. 261 00:12:05,800 --> 00:12:09,120 Yeah. So you'd really have to wait a bloody long time 262 00:12:09,120 --> 00:12:11,200 for seeing if your taster keeled over. 263 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:15,000 She was probably just trying to plan her outfit as well, though. Yeah. 264 00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,840 You like to see it on someone else sometimes. 265 00:12:16,840 --> 00:12:19,640 "Well, it could be poisoned!" rather than, "I want to see what goes." 266 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,880 And turn around in case there's poison round the back. 267 00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:23,520 "Yeah, I think that's poisoned. Next!" 268 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,480 THEY CHUCKLE 269 00:12:25,480 --> 00:12:27,840 This is Cleopatra trying out poisons on people 270 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:31,360 just to see which ones are... which ones are doing well. 271 00:12:31,360 --> 00:12:34,040 I don't like to call women difficult because I always question it, 272 00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,720 but I feel like that's a difficult woman thing to do, 273 00:12:36,720 --> 00:12:39,880 to try out poisons on people to see what they look like, you know? 274 00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:41,320 I like her fashion sense, though. 275 00:12:41,320 --> 00:12:43,440 I think that looks very comfortable. Mm. 276 00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,600 Time now for a sensory demonstration. 277 00:12:45,600 --> 00:12:47,640 I'm going to give you a hearing test. 278 00:12:47,640 --> 00:12:50,560 OK, let me get out my little keyboard. 279 00:12:50,560 --> 00:12:51,680 Oh. Here we go. 280 00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:56,120 Now, you should have some whiteboards and some pens there. 281 00:12:56,120 --> 00:12:58,200 Yes. So, I'm going to play you two notes. 282 00:12:58,200 --> 00:13:02,040 You have to write down which is higher or lower. 283 00:13:02,040 --> 00:13:05,360 OK, so I'm going to play this note... Don't look! 284 00:13:05,360 --> 00:13:09,080 And then this note. Higher or lower? 285 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,520 OK? So, what's everybody got? 286 00:13:11,520 --> 00:13:12,960 Higher. Higher? Hmm. 287 00:13:12,960 --> 00:13:14,640 Higher? Yeah. 288 00:13:14,640 --> 00:13:16,920 Yes, it's correct. It's absolutely right. Oh, God! 289 00:13:16,920 --> 00:13:18,040 Good. OK. OK, fine. 290 00:13:18,040 --> 00:13:20,480 So, now we're going to play you some stuff 291 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,360 that has been created by a computer, 292 00:13:22,360 --> 00:13:26,040 and I'm going to play you three sets and I want you to write down, 293 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,880 on each occasion, whether the second note 294 00:13:28,880 --> 00:13:30,800 is higher or lower. 295 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:32,720 OK, really simple. Yeah, OK. Really simple. 296 00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:35,800 Did the note go up or did the note go down? Here we go. 297 00:13:35,800 --> 00:13:39,200 SHE PLAYS TWO NOTES 298 00:13:39,200 --> 00:13:40,640 Up or down? 299 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,800 We only get one go? Yeah. 300 00:13:42,800 --> 00:13:44,440 OK, next one. 301 00:13:44,440 --> 00:13:46,320 SHE PLAYS TWO NOTES 302 00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:47,560 Up or down? 303 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,760 Well, that's very tricky, isn't it? 304 00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:51,120 Yes. 305 00:13:51,120 --> 00:13:55,240 I feel like there's more than one note sneaking in there each time. 306 00:13:55,240 --> 00:13:57,080 And the third one? 307 00:13:57,080 --> 00:13:59,120 SHE PLAYS TWO NOTES 308 00:13:59,120 --> 00:14:01,520 Oh, Roisin was very confident with that one. 309 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,520 Probably wrong. OK. Turn all the boards around. 310 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:04,920 Let's have a quick look. 311 00:14:04,920 --> 00:14:07,520 So, you have got lower, lower, higher. 312 00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:11,320 You have basically got lower, higher, higher. 313 00:14:11,320 --> 00:14:13,320 Lower, higher, lower. 314 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,800 Higher, lower, higher. I mean, they're all different. 315 00:14:15,800 --> 00:14:18,840 Is this gold dress, blue dress, but for the ears? Yes! 316 00:14:18,840 --> 00:14:20,800 It is an auditory illusion. 317 00:14:20,800 --> 00:14:23,880 I'd just like to point out that I haven't drawn a cock and balls. 318 00:14:23,880 --> 00:14:26,320 LAUGHTER 319 00:14:26,320 --> 00:14:28,920 Do you want to do it now? Would you feel better? 320 00:14:28,920 --> 00:14:30,400 I think, in terms of children, 321 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:32,360 you'd say this was a developmental milestone. 322 00:14:32,360 --> 00:14:35,000 Are you saying that this is a sign of maturity? 323 00:14:36,200 --> 00:14:38,840 So, the truth is that what you were listening to, 324 00:14:38,840 --> 00:14:42,000 the tones go both up and down. 325 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,480 It is called the tritone paradox. 326 00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:47,120 So there's two notes effectively being played. 327 00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:51,080 It's like C and F sharp at the same time. Ah. 328 00:14:51,080 --> 00:14:54,440 And then the next note is one in the middle. 329 00:14:54,440 --> 00:14:57,080 And the consequence of that is, it's both higher and lower, 330 00:14:57,080 --> 00:14:58,480 depending on which seemed... 331 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:00,680 That's what you said, there was more than one note. 332 00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:02,520 ..more prominent, so you are all correct. 333 00:15:02,520 --> 00:15:04,200 It doesn't really matter which you put, 334 00:15:04,200 --> 00:15:06,280 whether you put up or down, higher or lower. 335 00:15:06,280 --> 00:15:08,920 Shall we hear it again? See if you can hear it now. 336 00:15:08,920 --> 00:15:12,080 TWO NOTES PLAY 337 00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:14,760 TWO NOTES PLAY See, if that was your doorbell... 338 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:16,720 TWO NOTES PLAY 339 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,440 It's very annoying, isn't it? It's just an illusion, 340 00:15:19,440 --> 00:15:22,720 so that it sounds as if, frankly, it could go up and down, 341 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:25,120 but what's most interesting about it, it was analysed 342 00:15:25,120 --> 00:15:28,600 by a music psychologist called Diana Deutsch in 1986, 343 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,560 and what she realised is that what we hear, 344 00:15:30,560 --> 00:15:34,040 whether we hear it going up or whether we hear it going down, 345 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:39,400 very much depends on our culture, on our language. Oh, my God! 346 00:15:39,400 --> 00:15:42,080 Yeah, the perception is probably going to be the same 347 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:44,160 as your parents, probably going to be the same 348 00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:45,760 as people in the area that you live. 349 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:47,800 People who have a very much more musical language 350 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:50,680 will hear it differently from people who are rather straightforward 351 00:15:50,680 --> 00:15:53,280 with their language. I think it's fascinating. 352 00:15:53,280 --> 00:15:55,480 It'll tell you something about people, 353 00:15:55,480 --> 00:15:58,600 just whether they say it's higher or lower. 354 00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:02,640 That's fascinating, even in terms of what makes the sound of a joke, 355 00:16:02,640 --> 00:16:06,440 how you play it, the sound of your voice in different cultures. 356 00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:09,240 Can you hear a joke happening if you don't understand the language 357 00:16:09,240 --> 00:16:10,480 and the rhythm of something 358 00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:13,000 and what cadence works in different cultures? Yeah. 359 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,080 I'd love someone to tell my mum that, 360 00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:17,680 because I've got a mum who's really desperate 361 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,560 to have somebody in our family who's really good 362 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:22,920 at any kind of instrument or anything. 363 00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:25,640 So now I can tell her I am, because I do comedy. 364 00:16:25,640 --> 00:16:27,480 Are you musical, Alan? 365 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:28,920 Not in the slightest. 366 00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,200 He's drawn a lovely dick and balls, though, 367 00:16:31,200 --> 00:16:34,240 so he is still artistic. 368 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:36,560 There are other auditory illusions. 369 00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:39,360 Have a look at this picture and tell me what you hear. 370 00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,720 Oh, isn't that weird? 371 00:16:43,840 --> 00:16:45,200 What can you hear? 372 00:16:47,400 --> 00:16:49,760 HE WHISPERS: I can't... I can't hear anything. 373 00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,640 Anybody? 374 00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:55,280 No, it's gone. Can't hear anything? 375 00:16:55,280 --> 00:16:57,360 I heard it straight away... A little bit of wind? 376 00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,040 ..and then it went. What did you hear? 377 00:16:59,040 --> 00:17:02,160 I don't know. But I heard noise... Like I heard... Like a thudding? 378 00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:05,200 Yeah. Like... Like the landing. Yeah. 379 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,800 So, about 70% of people... I can hear that... Now I've said it again... 380 00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:10,000 You can hear it? Yeah, now you've said it... 381 00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,720 And now it's like it's happening, 382 00:17:11,720 --> 00:17:14,640 because I'm looking at it and I feel it like it's around me. 383 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:17,280 About 70% of people who watch this hear a thudding sound when... 384 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,520 Oh, it's horrible cos it feels like you're next to it. 385 00:17:19,520 --> 00:17:22,440 Yeah, it makes me queasy. But is it only your eyes telling your brain 386 00:17:22,440 --> 00:17:25,040 something that would normally happen because of the movement? 387 00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,200 It's completely silent. And if you close your eyes, 388 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,520 there's nothing there. Yeah, it's totally silent. 389 00:17:29,520 --> 00:17:31,760 Right, let's nose around another question. 390 00:17:31,760 --> 00:17:33,240 Hmm! Here's one. 391 00:17:33,240 --> 00:17:36,360 OK, what do banks smell of? 392 00:17:36,360 --> 00:17:37,840 Money. 393 00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,880 Money. 394 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,280 It depends on the bank, is the truth of it. 395 00:17:45,280 --> 00:17:46,840 It depends on what scent 396 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:50,120 they have decided to associate the bank with. Bank scent. Yeah. 397 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:52,320 Armpit. So it could be grapefruit, could be cardamom, 398 00:17:52,320 --> 00:17:54,640 could be chocolate. I got driven here today in a car 399 00:17:54,640 --> 00:17:57,800 by a driver who had an extraordinary amount of aftershave on, 400 00:17:57,800 --> 00:17:59,960 and he was playing Smooth FM. 401 00:17:59,960 --> 00:18:02,600 Oh. Oh. Did you fall in love? Honestly... 402 00:18:02,600 --> 00:18:04,640 ..I was quite in love. 403 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:09,240 It is always funny to listen to very emotional music 404 00:18:09,240 --> 00:18:10,720 with someone you've just met. Yes. 405 00:18:10,720 --> 00:18:12,560 Like, the late drive home and it's like... 406 00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:14,800 # We weren't even married... # You're like... 407 00:18:14,800 --> 00:18:16,840 LAUGHTER 408 00:18:16,840 --> 00:18:18,200 # On my own. # 409 00:18:19,440 --> 00:18:22,520 It's such a sad bit. Very intense! 410 00:18:22,520 --> 00:18:25,200 You both are in your own world of failed relationships. Yeah! 411 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,360 It's like, "We'll go to the petrol station, 412 00:18:27,360 --> 00:18:29,000 "get something to eat, shall we?" 413 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:35,240 When my... When my son was 18, he discovered aftershave. 414 00:18:35,240 --> 00:18:37,920 And, er, oh, dear God! 415 00:18:37,920 --> 00:18:40,920 He'd do the "psssh, psssh, psssh!" 416 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,880 And the whole house would smell of Lynx. 417 00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:46,680 I still get such a visceral, like, sexy feeling 418 00:18:46,680 --> 00:18:48,440 around the smell of Lynx. Mm. 419 00:18:48,440 --> 00:18:50,800 Because for me, it's like being at a disco, 420 00:18:50,800 --> 00:18:54,680 aged 16, like, Lynx was the smell the people you wanted smelled of, 421 00:18:54,680 --> 00:18:57,600 like, you didn't want to smell something that smelled like a... 422 00:18:57,600 --> 00:19:00,160 So he was using the right one at 18? Yeah. Yeah, that's the... 423 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,480 Oh. .."Wsssssh!" Yeah, and then you're like... 424 00:19:02,480 --> 00:19:05,280 SHE YIPS 425 00:19:05,280 --> 00:19:07,600 We're in the world of scent marketing. 426 00:19:07,600 --> 00:19:09,120 So, environmental scenting. 427 00:19:09,120 --> 00:19:10,960 It's the scent that is introduced 428 00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:12,640 into a retail or a leisure environment. 429 00:19:12,640 --> 00:19:14,240 It's really big business. 430 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,600 It makes you part with your money? It does, darling. 431 00:19:16,600 --> 00:19:19,240 It works because it sends signals to our limbic system, 432 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:22,200 which is the sector of the brain that controls memory and emotion 433 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:25,000 and it absolutely works. The very first bank to try this 434 00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:27,480 was the National Australia Bank headquarters in Melbourne, 435 00:19:27,480 --> 00:19:30,000 and they introduced the scent of lime and grapefruit... 436 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:32,000 Oh! ..in 2012. 437 00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:34,200 They're quite happy scents. Yes. Happy scents. Yeah. 438 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,920 And some high-end banks or sort of financial institutions 439 00:19:36,920 --> 00:19:39,040 use signature scents that are supposed to lend 440 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:42,200 a sense of luxury to their clientele. Very nice. 441 00:19:42,200 --> 00:19:44,600 One bank selected a premium fragrance 442 00:19:44,600 --> 00:19:48,280 that begins with mouthwatering mandarin, 443 00:19:48,280 --> 00:19:49,800 fresh, watery ozone 444 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:51,480 and green cardamom notes 445 00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:54,040 supported by black pepper and musk. 446 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:57,560 Musk? Musk. That's lovely. I don't want that in a bank. 447 00:19:57,560 --> 00:20:00,520 Do you want that in a bank? I don't want musk in a bank, no. 448 00:20:00,520 --> 00:20:03,280 I don't want to get pregnant off the air in a bank. 449 00:20:03,280 --> 00:20:05,080 LAUGHTER 450 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:06,360 Well, casinos have found, 451 00:20:06,360 --> 00:20:08,720 depending on the scent that they use in the casino, 452 00:20:08,720 --> 00:20:10,200 people will gamble more. 453 00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:14,520 Wow. So, the Las Vegas Hilton found that people spent 50% more time 454 00:20:14,520 --> 00:20:16,720 playing in the casino if there were floral smells. 455 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:19,120 I like the idea of quite a lot of rough gamblers going, 456 00:20:19,120 --> 00:20:20,520 "Ooh, it's nice in here." Ooh. 457 00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,760 I've been to Vegas casinos and people smoke in there. 458 00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:25,320 There's still smoking? Yeah, in the casino. 459 00:20:25,320 --> 00:20:26,840 I love a casino. I do. 460 00:20:26,840 --> 00:20:28,360 Do you? Oh, God. 461 00:20:28,360 --> 00:20:31,120 Oh, my God, Sandi. That's the most random fact! 462 00:20:31,120 --> 00:20:33,280 I would never... Toksvig loves a casino. 463 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:35,960 She loves gambling. She goes in the roulette wheel. 464 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:39,480 Whoo-ooh-ooh! 465 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:42,280 "I'm going for 14. Wish me luck!" 466 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,160 "It's red, it's red, it's red!" 467 00:20:50,960 --> 00:20:52,960 That is so funny. Oh, God. 468 00:20:52,960 --> 00:20:55,160 So, Las Vegas, they all have different smells. 469 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,200 The Mirage is Polynesian, the Mandalay Bay is Southeast Asian 470 00:20:58,200 --> 00:20:59,360 and the Bellagio - 471 00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:01,800 whispers of northern Italy. Oh! I know. 472 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:05,000 And cigars and cigarette smoke, mainly. Yeah. 473 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,400 So, scent marketing is a thing. 474 00:21:06,400 --> 00:21:08,600 Jewellers, gyms, dentists, funeral parlours, 475 00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,000 all kinds of people use it now. 476 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,600 It's very popular in supermarkets, scent marketing. 477 00:21:12,600 --> 00:21:15,240 So, in New York, for example, they have fresh bread 478 00:21:15,240 --> 00:21:18,640 in the bread aisle, grapefruit in the fruit aisle, that kind of thing. 479 00:21:18,640 --> 00:21:21,200 But it's not the only trick that supermarkets play. 480 00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:24,600 Some supermarkets use smaller floor tiles 481 00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:27,080 in front of the more expensive sections. 482 00:21:27,080 --> 00:21:30,760 And the reason is, as you notice the clicking of your trolley wheels 483 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:32,080 is becoming faster, 484 00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:34,760 you don't realise it's the tiles becoming smaller, 485 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,440 you instinctively slow down. You feel like you've sped up 486 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:39,800 cos you can hear the wheels kind of going like this. 487 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:43,760 You think it's going a bit too fast. Are any choices our own? 488 00:21:43,760 --> 00:21:45,320 Absolutely nothing. 489 00:21:45,320 --> 00:21:47,720 When we spray Lynx and we spray perfume, we're all, like, 490 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:50,920 doing the sell. Yeah. It's just like, who are we? 491 00:21:50,920 --> 00:21:55,360 There's an amazing documentary called The Men Who Made Us Sell. 492 00:21:55,360 --> 00:21:59,480 It was Sigmund Freud's nephew, I'm pretty sure, um, 493 00:21:59,480 --> 00:22:05,200 kind of made it over, in post-World War Germany, to America 494 00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:09,480 and started using many of the theories about people for, 495 00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:12,360 for selling reasons. For marketing. For marketing. 496 00:22:12,360 --> 00:22:15,120 And one of the big things he did was give... 497 00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:17,960 So, women's rights had started, because people were like, 498 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:19,400 "Oh, they should have some." 499 00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:21,240 "I'm still not on board yet, but we'll see." 500 00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:23,640 And there were all these women marching 501 00:22:23,640 --> 00:22:26,280 and they gave some of them some cigarettes, 502 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:31,080 so then the symbol of, like, a sort of sexy, progressive woman, 503 00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:32,880 because they would sell them for pictures 504 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:35,000 and give them to women for free in the marches, 505 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:38,600 that became an iconic kind of image, and they were like, what... 506 00:22:38,600 --> 00:22:40,880 And it's the penis, it's a phallus, and stuff like that, 507 00:22:40,880 --> 00:22:42,120 and just, like... 508 00:22:42,120 --> 00:22:44,960 I was with you right up until that. No, no, as in... But he... 509 00:22:44,960 --> 00:22:47,920 He would have the thing of going, that whole thing of like... 510 00:22:47,920 --> 00:22:49,840 It's on fire, the penis. It's on fire. 511 00:22:49,840 --> 00:22:51,520 If it's any consolation. 512 00:22:51,520 --> 00:22:54,800 No, but seriously, if you burn the tip of a penis, honestly, 513 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:58,040 that man will give you whatever you want. 514 00:22:58,040 --> 00:23:02,360 The guy you're talking about is Edward Bernays. Yes, yes, yes, yes. 515 00:23:02,360 --> 00:23:05,880 Right. Who is this man and what do his farts smell like? 516 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,480 Oh. Oh. Wow. This show's really gone downhill, I feel! 517 00:23:08,480 --> 00:23:11,400 # I hear music...# Yes. 518 00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:13,040 I really like that song. 519 00:23:13,040 --> 00:23:16,240 He looks like his farts smell of, 520 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:18,040 like, a church. 521 00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:23,360 Oh. What does a church smell of to you? Incense and... 522 00:23:23,360 --> 00:23:25,360 ..crime. Yeah! 523 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,240 It's a heady combination. 524 00:23:32,320 --> 00:23:34,880 Rolling tobacco, I imagine he smells like. 525 00:23:34,880 --> 00:23:37,000 His farts smell of chocolate. Do they? 526 00:23:37,000 --> 00:23:39,080 And look how proud he is of it. I know. 527 00:23:39,080 --> 00:23:42,400 So he's a French inventor called Christian Poincheval 528 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:45,520 and in 2017, he invented a pill, which he is showing there, 529 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:48,360 which he claims makes farts smell of chocolate. 530 00:23:48,360 --> 00:23:52,320 He told a journalist he had been eating in a restaurant with friends 531 00:23:52,320 --> 00:23:56,760 and he said, "Our farts were so smelly, we nearly suffocated. 532 00:23:56,760 --> 00:23:59,600 "People at the table next to us were not happy. 533 00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,040 Something had to be done. 534 00:24:02,040 --> 00:24:05,520 Oh. It's nice to hear of a French person that isn't sexy, isn't it? 535 00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:08,840 Just give one to every taxi driver. 536 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:11,240 "It's a long journey. Just have one of those." 537 00:24:13,120 --> 00:24:14,520 He made other fart fragrances. 538 00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:17,080 You can also have roses and violets. Most reviewers said 539 00:24:17,080 --> 00:24:19,800 that they either made their farts stop smelling entirely 540 00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:21,720 or stopped them from farting together, 541 00:24:21,720 --> 00:24:24,280 and that's because the pills contain active charcoal, 542 00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,760 basically charcoal with lots of pockets of air in it, 543 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:29,440 and that is known to remove smelly or impure substances. 544 00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:31,400 Is that what we should put around the dog? 545 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,520 Um... You need some sort of absorbent dome around the dog. 546 00:24:34,520 --> 00:24:37,600 Well, you can get fart-proof underwear. 547 00:24:37,600 --> 00:24:40,560 For dogs? Wow. Well, I don't see any reason why a dog couldn't 548 00:24:40,560 --> 00:24:44,960 have on a pair of underpants, and there are fart-proof underwear. 549 00:24:44,960 --> 00:24:47,840 Is it just like a Covid mask in the bottom of your pants? 550 00:24:47,840 --> 00:24:50,560 Yes, so there's a Colorado psychologist called Buck Weimer 551 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:53,080 and he invented anti-flatulence underwear 552 00:24:53,080 --> 00:24:54,640 as a present for his wife. 553 00:24:54,640 --> 00:24:58,240 Oh. Oh. Oh-ho-ho-ho! 554 00:24:58,240 --> 00:25:00,680 Who says romance is dead, eh? 555 00:25:00,680 --> 00:25:01,720 His ex-wife. 556 00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:04,880 But I don't see why you couldn't get them for the dog, darling. 557 00:25:04,880 --> 00:25:07,200 I think the dog might feel shamed. Mm. 558 00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:08,400 To be honest with you, 559 00:25:08,400 --> 00:25:10,960 I'm not looking to protect the dog's feelings. 560 00:25:10,960 --> 00:25:14,280 Fart-proof underpants don't make scents. 561 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:18,400 Hey! Very good. 562 00:25:18,400 --> 00:25:21,960 Right, this question is not as senseless as it sounds. 563 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:24,480 What kind of dog can tell the time? 564 00:25:25,760 --> 00:25:28,760 # I hear music. # 565 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:30,040 A good boy. 566 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,400 A watchdog. Ay! 567 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:37,800 KLAXON SOUNDS 568 00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,120 GROANING 569 00:25:40,800 --> 00:25:41,920 I asked for it. 570 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:43,920 What about a CLOCKER spaniel? 571 00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:44,960 KLAXON SOUNDS 572 00:25:47,880 --> 00:25:50,680 There's no original thought left. 573 00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:53,440 Who's got dogs? I've got a dog, you've got a dog, you've got a dog. 574 00:25:53,440 --> 00:25:55,560 Well, have you ever noticed that when you get home, 575 00:25:55,560 --> 00:25:57,480 your dog seems to be waiting for you? 576 00:25:57,480 --> 00:25:59,440 How does the dog know what time it is? 577 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:02,080 It waits there all day, surely. They're like... 578 00:26:02,080 --> 00:26:03,560 PANTING 579 00:26:03,560 --> 00:26:06,160 No. Definitely, they don't do that. My dog, she would get up 580 00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:09,080 and start yelling the place down before the doorbell rang, 581 00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:11,520 so you could tell someone was approaching the property. 582 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:14,200 Sure, they can hear if somebody's approaching the property, 583 00:26:14,200 --> 00:26:15,960 but how might they know what time it is? 584 00:26:15,960 --> 00:26:19,160 Well, I'm probably going to say this wrong, but there's... 585 00:26:19,160 --> 00:26:21,160 When they go to the toilet, 586 00:26:21,160 --> 00:26:25,760 they put their bum to the sun, the south, always to the south. 587 00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:27,880 I got told this quite recently, and it's... 588 00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:30,080 Maybe... it's QI, cut it if it's wrong 589 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:33,000 but I think... I think it.... 590 00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:36,280 You want a show called Gullible. 591 00:26:36,280 --> 00:26:39,000 The more I'm talking on it, the more I'm losing faith in it. 592 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:40,280 Well, there is some thought 593 00:26:40,280 --> 00:26:42,840 that they do prefer to poo along the north-south axis, 594 00:26:42,840 --> 00:26:45,200 and it's to do with magnetic fields, but... 595 00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:47,960 Ooh! There we are. ..we don't know if that's true or not. 596 00:26:47,960 --> 00:26:50,160 So, it might be your smell, is the thing. 597 00:26:50,160 --> 00:26:52,400 Right. So it is not that you stink. 598 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:53,880 My smell? No, a human being's smell. 599 00:26:53,880 --> 00:26:56,600 It's not your smell as you come up the path, or whatever. 600 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,920 After you leave the house, your scent lingers 601 00:26:58,920 --> 00:27:01,120 and they have phenomenal sense of smell, 602 00:27:01,120 --> 00:27:02,760 and it decays slowly over the day. 603 00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:05,000 If you have a fairly regular schedule, 604 00:27:05,000 --> 00:27:08,200 the dog will notice when your smell has declined to a certain level 605 00:27:08,200 --> 00:27:10,760 that it associates with you coming home. Wow! Wow! 606 00:27:10,760 --> 00:27:13,720 And then, if it disappears completely, it thinks you're dead. 607 00:27:13,720 --> 00:27:15,280 And then, when you open the door, 608 00:27:15,280 --> 00:27:17,840 it acts as if you've come back from the dead, 609 00:27:17,840 --> 00:27:20,600 every time you come home. "Oh, my God! I thought you were dead! 610 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:22,680 "You were definitely dead! 611 00:27:22,680 --> 00:27:25,520 "It's a miracle!" 612 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:28,000 There's a dog researcher called Alexandre Horowitz, 613 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,400 and what she did was, she tested this thing about the smell 614 00:27:30,400 --> 00:27:33,160 by placing several fairly sweaty shirts from the dog's owner 615 00:27:33,160 --> 00:27:36,400 around the house before the dog's owner was due to come back. 616 00:27:36,400 --> 00:27:38,000 And the dog was not waiting by the door 617 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,960 because the smell was still strong in the house, 618 00:27:39,960 --> 00:27:41,240 and therefore it didn't think 619 00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:43,280 it must be time for the owner to be returning. 620 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:46,400 I mean, it could also be if you feed your dog at exactly the same time, 621 00:27:46,400 --> 00:27:48,520 or your cats, then they know it's nearly dinner time 622 00:27:48,520 --> 00:27:50,280 because they're beginning to get hungry. 623 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:53,920 If you have a dog, is a dog pleased to see your face when you come home? 624 00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:56,000 Yes, my dog really is. 625 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:57,880 My dog levitates when I return. 626 00:27:57,880 --> 00:27:59,840 It is frightening. Aw! 627 00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:02,080 But it seems that the dogs 628 00:28:02,080 --> 00:28:03,760 don't really have a part of the brain 629 00:28:03,760 --> 00:28:06,280 that specifically responds to faces. Wow. 630 00:28:06,280 --> 00:28:09,040 So, they did a study in Hungary of domesticated dogs, 631 00:28:09,040 --> 00:28:10,480 and they showed them videos 632 00:28:10,480 --> 00:28:13,720 of either the back or the front of a human head. 633 00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:16,280 And first of all, they preferred dog videos to human videos. 634 00:28:16,280 --> 00:28:17,720 Secondly, they didn't seem to care 635 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:19,760 if it was the back of the front of your head. Wow. 636 00:28:19,760 --> 00:28:22,040 What part of a human does a dog recognise, then? 637 00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:23,680 What part of you is it? 638 00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:26,080 The smell. Well, I have to say this is one of the few times 639 00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:29,160 where I would dispute something because I swear that my dog 640 00:28:29,160 --> 00:28:30,640 can recognise emotion in my face. 641 00:28:30,640 --> 00:28:32,680 But do you think that's actually your face 642 00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:35,640 or that dogs can sense feelings more than it's your... 643 00:28:35,640 --> 00:28:37,760 they know Sandi's feelings and ups and downs, 644 00:28:37,760 --> 00:28:39,680 and it's not your...? It may well be that. 645 00:28:39,680 --> 00:28:42,360 I mean, they certainly can read your emotions, I think. 646 00:28:42,360 --> 00:28:44,640 Sometimes I get all three children and the dog, 647 00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:46,320 all have left the room. 648 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:49,400 "He's going off. Let's go out." 649 00:28:52,200 --> 00:28:54,320 They're all in another room like that together. 650 00:28:54,320 --> 00:28:55,880 "Have you calmed down?" 651 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:01,320 "Sorry, everyone, sorry." 652 00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:05,720 You know there's dogs who can now smell tumours or cancer in people. 653 00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,480 But you don't want that in your dog! You come in and the dog was, 654 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:12,080 "Wow, OK... No, I'm not going to tell you. I'm not telling you." 655 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:13,360 "Er, do you want to know?" 656 00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:16,480 "I'm not qualified, actually, to give the information." 657 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:20,640 "No, we can absolutely throw the ball. Enjoy life while I can." 658 00:29:20,640 --> 00:29:24,960 I mean... Yeah, "Let's just enjoy today, shall we?" 659 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:31,040 Now it's time for our final sensory demonstration. 660 00:29:31,040 --> 00:29:33,400 OK, so have a look at this. 661 00:29:33,400 --> 00:29:34,880 Whoa. 662 00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:39,680 It looks like a flat window with one end shorter than the other. 663 00:29:39,680 --> 00:29:43,440 I'm just going to make sure that you guys can see this, like this. 664 00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,760 It's called the Ames window. 665 00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:47,760 I'm too short to do this sitting down. 666 00:29:47,760 --> 00:29:52,360 So I'm going to spin it and just look at the effect that it has... 667 00:29:52,360 --> 00:29:54,080 Oh, I don't like... ..when it's spinning. 668 00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,160 Isn't it interesting? It appears to stop halfway. 669 00:29:56,160 --> 00:29:58,520 It doesn't look like it's spinning all the way around. 670 00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:00,720 Yeah, that's the thing. Oh! That is really weird. Oh! 671 00:30:00,720 --> 00:30:02,240 I thought you weren't doing it then. 672 00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:04,120 If you look at the thing, it's not spinning. 673 00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:05,800 I thought you were getting ready to do it. 674 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:07,360 No, I'm spinning it all the way round, 675 00:30:07,360 --> 00:30:09,760 but it appears to stop halfway and go back the other way. Oh! 676 00:30:09,760 --> 00:30:11,680 Ohh! Oh! Oh! 677 00:30:11,680 --> 00:30:13,000 My gosh! 678 00:30:13,000 --> 00:30:15,440 Have a look at this. Put a pencil through the window. 679 00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:17,800 You can stick things on or through the window 680 00:30:17,800 --> 00:30:21,280 and then the objects appear to lift out of the window. 681 00:30:21,280 --> 00:30:23,600 No way! What... 682 00:30:23,600 --> 00:30:26,120 ..the absolute...? Please. 683 00:30:26,120 --> 00:30:29,160 Isn't it weird? Oh, it's so weird. I know. 684 00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:32,240 So it's called the Ames window. It was invented by an American artist 685 00:30:32,240 --> 00:30:35,120 and psychologist called Adelbert Ames and what it is 686 00:30:35,120 --> 00:30:37,360 is that the brain knows what a window looks like. 687 00:30:37,360 --> 00:30:38,760 We know what a window looks like. 688 00:30:38,760 --> 00:30:39,920 It has equal sides. 689 00:30:39,920 --> 00:30:41,520 And they've done this experiment 690 00:30:41,520 --> 00:30:44,280 with people who are not used to Western architecture 691 00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:46,800 and all they see is an irregular shape spinning. 692 00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:48,880 We're seeing what we see as a window? 693 00:30:48,880 --> 00:30:51,600 Yeah. It's the same - if you look at these two lines, 694 00:30:51,600 --> 00:30:54,000 have a look and tell me which one is longer. 695 00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,200 Oh, the top one looks longer. 696 00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:58,160 You'd think the top one, but I'm sure that's... 697 00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:00,080 The top one looks longer. But they're the same. 698 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:01,680 They're exactly the same length. 699 00:31:01,680 --> 00:31:04,120 And it's only in the West that we see that the top looks longer 700 00:31:04,120 --> 00:31:06,520 and if you test it on indigenous people in parts of Angola 701 00:31:06,520 --> 00:31:09,600 and the Ivory Coast and so on, they don't see a difference in the length. 702 00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:11,920 There's an amazing book by a chap called Will Storr 703 00:31:11,920 --> 00:31:13,720 called The Science Of Storytelling 704 00:31:13,720 --> 00:31:15,960 and it's all about our perception of stuff like that 705 00:31:15,960 --> 00:31:17,400 and how the first thing you'll see 706 00:31:17,400 --> 00:31:20,280 will be the most dangerous version of the thing it could be, 707 00:31:20,280 --> 00:31:23,000 hence why sometimes if you see a shadow at the side of the road 708 00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:26,000 that looks like a creepy man leaning into the road and then, 709 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:27,920 you get closer and realise it's a gatepost, 710 00:31:27,920 --> 00:31:29,640 you see the creepy man to protect you 711 00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,480 in case it is the worst possible thing 712 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:33,080 you have ever imagined before, 713 00:31:33,080 --> 00:31:35,600 but only based on the things you've already ever imagined. 714 00:31:35,600 --> 00:31:38,160 It's very like the auditory illusion we heard earlier, 715 00:31:38,160 --> 00:31:40,960 it depends what language, what cultural context you've come from, 716 00:31:40,960 --> 00:31:43,520 what you'll hear, whether you hear whether the note has gone up 717 00:31:43,520 --> 00:31:45,600 or down, whether you think it's shorter or longer. 718 00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,240 And if you look on the graph, you can see this is exactly the same. 719 00:31:48,240 --> 00:31:51,040 My brain's still struggling to accept it. I'm counting the squares. 720 00:31:51,040 --> 00:31:54,520 It's fascinating, isn't it? Right, cue lighting. 721 00:31:54,520 --> 00:31:55,680 Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! 722 00:31:55,680 --> 00:31:58,360 Ooh! Oh. Ooh. 723 00:31:58,360 --> 00:32:01,600 What does the spotlight effect feel like? 724 00:32:01,600 --> 00:32:04,320 It points out creeps in our presence. 725 00:32:04,320 --> 00:32:05,360 LAUGHTER 726 00:32:07,040 --> 00:32:09,640 That's not nice. What does that feel like? Well, it seems to be 727 00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:11,800 the right answer, because they brought them back. 728 00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:14,480 What does it feel like to...? I love it. You love it. 729 00:32:14,480 --> 00:32:18,160 It reminds me being on stage, the only one in the room lit, 730 00:32:18,160 --> 00:32:20,760 the only one anyone can hear. Go on, Alan. Dreamland. 731 00:32:20,760 --> 00:32:23,400 Yes, yes, Alan, yes. 732 00:32:23,400 --> 00:32:26,360 Darling, it's something that maybe you guys 733 00:32:26,360 --> 00:32:29,320 are not the right people to test this on. Yeah. A bad focus group. 734 00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:31,320 I imagine it's supposed to make you feel 735 00:32:31,320 --> 00:32:33,520 a bit uncomfortable and self-conscious. 736 00:32:33,520 --> 00:32:36,520 The spotlight effect is the name psychologists have given 737 00:32:36,520 --> 00:32:38,880 to our tendency to dramatically overestimate 738 00:32:38,880 --> 00:32:41,120 how much attention people are paying to us. 739 00:32:41,120 --> 00:32:43,560 I don't think so, Sandi. 740 00:32:43,560 --> 00:32:44,920 I don't think so. 741 00:32:49,920 --> 00:32:51,560 In 2000, students were asked 742 00:32:51,560 --> 00:32:55,960 to wear a bright yellow Barry Manilow T-shirt to a seminar. 743 00:32:55,960 --> 00:32:59,120 In what year, sorry? In the year 2000. OK. 744 00:33:01,160 --> 00:33:03,680 That's a really cruel experiment. It is. 745 00:33:04,800 --> 00:33:08,160 He was described as a figure of dubious renown. 746 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:09,400 Ugh. 747 00:33:09,400 --> 00:33:10,960 That's on his passport. 748 00:33:10,960 --> 00:33:13,880 Among college students. Oh, so they...? Yeah. 749 00:33:13,880 --> 00:33:16,680 Anyway, afterwards, the wearers of this T-shirt were asked 750 00:33:16,680 --> 00:33:19,240 to estimate how many fellow students had noticed 751 00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:21,320 that they were wearing this T-shirt, 752 00:33:21,320 --> 00:33:23,240 and they overestimated by a factor of two. 753 00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,240 So it's the spotlight effect. You think that people are looking at you 754 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:27,800 when, in fact, they're not really. 755 00:33:27,800 --> 00:33:31,400 Well, maybe it means if you feel vulnerable that you can be seen, 756 00:33:31,400 --> 00:33:34,280 you're more vulnerable to a predator. Hmm. 757 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:37,840 You know, if you're in a herd of antelope or something, 758 00:33:37,840 --> 00:33:40,560 you're like, "Oh, I'm the only one they can see." Yes! 759 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:42,800 Because you're wearing a Barry Manilow T-shirt. 760 00:33:42,800 --> 00:33:45,520 But of course, the cheetah in the long grass 761 00:33:45,520 --> 00:33:48,600 doesn't know anything about Barry Manilow. 762 00:33:48,600 --> 00:33:51,840 It's just trying to find the slowest, weakest one. 763 00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:54,240 I mean, I'm really trying to make the science that I've got 764 00:33:54,240 --> 00:33:56,600 match up with what you just said. 765 00:33:56,600 --> 00:34:00,000 Does the spotlight effect always make us think it's something great 766 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:01,640 rather than it's something bad? 767 00:34:01,640 --> 00:34:04,440 No, it's just, for example, if you contribute in an argument 768 00:34:04,440 --> 00:34:07,120 in a group discussion, people almost always overestimate 769 00:34:07,120 --> 00:34:10,640 the extent to which others have noted their contributions. Hmm. 770 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:13,040 And now I have a horrible sense of foreboding 771 00:34:13,040 --> 00:34:15,560 that it's about to be General Ignorance. Yes, it is. 772 00:34:15,560 --> 00:34:17,400 Fingers on buzzers, please. 773 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:21,680 Which composer was completely deaf by the time of their final work? 774 00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:23,240 MUSIC: U Can't Touch This by MC Hammer 775 00:34:23,240 --> 00:34:24,320 Beethoven. 776 00:34:24,320 --> 00:34:26,000 KLAXON SOUNDS 777 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:27,040 Oh, God. 778 00:34:29,120 --> 00:34:31,320 Beethoven is the one that we most think. 779 00:34:31,320 --> 00:34:34,080 He was always thought to have been deaf at the end of his life. 780 00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,240 It is popularly believed that he wrote 781 00:34:36,240 --> 00:34:38,560 the ninth and final symphony, 1824, 782 00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:40,520 and that he couldn't really hear it. 783 00:34:40,520 --> 00:34:43,560 Now, we know his hearing did deteriorate, but there is some... 784 00:34:43,560 --> 00:34:47,480 I love that there is still research happening and all these years later, 785 00:34:47,480 --> 00:34:50,560 we might decide to change our minds about it. 786 00:34:50,560 --> 00:34:53,120 He carried around something called conversation books 787 00:34:53,120 --> 00:34:56,040 when his hearing deteriorated, in which his companions 788 00:34:56,040 --> 00:34:58,040 could scribble their side of the conversation. 789 00:34:58,040 --> 00:35:01,000 He also used them as sort of diary, writing reminders, shopping lists 790 00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:02,720 like any other human being. 791 00:35:02,720 --> 00:35:06,920 And there's a musicologist at the Kent State University in Ohio 792 00:35:06,920 --> 00:35:10,160 called Theodore Albrecht, and he has spent decades translating 793 00:35:10,160 --> 00:35:13,600 these conversation books into English and found 23 references 794 00:35:13,600 --> 00:35:16,720 to Beethoven's hearing in the composer's writing around this time. 795 00:35:16,720 --> 00:35:19,640 So, for example, in 1823, Beethoven wrote, 796 00:35:19,640 --> 00:35:22,480 "Baths and country air could improve many things. 797 00:35:22,480 --> 00:35:26,120 "Just do not use mechanical devices, ear trumpets too early. 798 00:35:26,120 --> 00:35:27,920 "By abstaining from using them, 799 00:35:27,920 --> 00:35:31,440 "I have fairly preserved my left ear this way." 800 00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:35,000 And that is only a year before the Ninth Symphony. 801 00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:37,760 So it's possible that we just were wrong. 802 00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:39,840 Not only, according to Professor Albrecht, 803 00:35:39,840 --> 00:35:43,160 was Beethoven not completely deaf at the premiere of his Ninth Symphony, 804 00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:45,120 he could hear, although increasingly faintly, 805 00:35:45,120 --> 00:35:47,360 for at least two years afterwards. 806 00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:50,600 I love that we're like, "You weren't that good. 807 00:35:50,600 --> 00:35:52,480 "You were only barely deaf." 808 00:35:54,640 --> 00:35:57,400 You had the left ear, Beethoven, you had your left one. 809 00:35:57,400 --> 00:35:59,480 That's the most Irish you'll ever be. 810 00:35:59,480 --> 00:36:02,000 "Ah, but I heard he wasn't that deaf, like." Yeah. 811 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,240 Gabriel Faure, we could have gone for, 812 00:36:04,240 --> 00:36:05,880 or Ralph Vaughan Williams. 813 00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:09,800 Sadly, a deafness caused by the guns of World War I. Sorry? 814 00:36:09,800 --> 00:36:14,320 I totally fell for it. Did you like that? Yeah, I remember it. 815 00:36:14,320 --> 00:36:15,880 It's like having my dad here. 816 00:36:15,880 --> 00:36:19,840 Beethoven could probably hear the cheers for his final symphony. 817 00:36:19,840 --> 00:36:23,800 What did people in the Middle Ages do with their excrement? 818 00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,760 # Trees of green. # 819 00:36:26,760 --> 00:36:28,720 Look for magical stones in it. 820 00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:30,200 Yes. Bezoars. 821 00:36:30,200 --> 00:36:33,160 But then, throw it out of the window. 822 00:36:33,160 --> 00:36:34,200 KLAXON SOUNDS 823 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:37,560 No? Not throw it out of the window? 824 00:36:37,560 --> 00:36:40,120 But there's a picture of someone throwing it out of the window. 825 00:36:40,120 --> 00:36:44,760 Well, this is actually an anecdote about King Louis IX of France. 826 00:36:44,760 --> 00:36:48,720 And a student poured his pot, as it were, 827 00:36:48,720 --> 00:36:50,320 out onto the king. 828 00:36:50,320 --> 00:36:52,640 And you would have thought the king would be furious. 829 00:36:52,640 --> 00:36:54,600 But the king, in fact, gave him a prebendary, 830 00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:57,280 which is a remunerative post in a cathedral, 831 00:36:57,280 --> 00:36:59,680 because he was so thrilled to see a young person up early 832 00:36:59,680 --> 00:37:01,760 and going about their studies. 833 00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,600 So you were not supposed to throw your excrement 834 00:37:04,600 --> 00:37:06,760 out of the window. Apart from anything else, 835 00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,480 everybody knew that human waste spread disease. 836 00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:11,560 So they did not tip it into the street, 837 00:37:11,560 --> 00:37:14,200 they poured it into the nearest river. And the rules were, 838 00:37:14,200 --> 00:37:16,840 people were responsible for the cleanliness of the streets 839 00:37:16,840 --> 00:37:18,040 outside their own houses. 840 00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:21,000 In the 1300s, there was one man who was beaten to death 841 00:37:21,000 --> 00:37:23,440 for dropping eel skins on the street, and the other people 842 00:37:23,440 --> 00:37:26,880 didn't want to have to pay the fine. And larger houses had latrines. 843 00:37:26,880 --> 00:37:29,200 And then they had something called a gong farmer, 844 00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:31,560 somebody who came and emptied the latrine. There we are. 845 00:37:31,560 --> 00:37:33,200 They're taking it off. 846 00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,120 And towns usually provided public latrines. 847 00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:36,880 They were known as places of easement. 848 00:37:36,880 --> 00:37:38,280 Place of easement. 849 00:37:38,280 --> 00:37:41,280 Those two lads. Yeah. Like, I'm doing a QI, 850 00:37:41,280 --> 00:37:43,720 which is a beloved television show, 851 00:37:43,720 --> 00:37:47,400 and I have not even dressed up as well as those two lads 852 00:37:47,400 --> 00:37:49,120 going to empty the jacks. 853 00:37:49,120 --> 00:37:51,360 That is bowler hats, waistcoat. Whole shebang. 854 00:37:51,360 --> 00:37:53,920 You're probably going to get shit on you. Absolutely. 855 00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,240 Gong farmers. Hats off to the gong farmers. 856 00:37:56,240 --> 00:37:57,680 If you found something in the shit, 857 00:37:57,680 --> 00:38:00,160 somebody had dropped coins or whatever, you got to keep it. 858 00:38:00,160 --> 00:38:01,400 Yes! Lovely. That's nice. 859 00:38:01,400 --> 00:38:03,520 I thought you were going to say they did, like, 860 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:05,080 tea readings with poo. 861 00:38:06,760 --> 00:38:09,520 Some sort of like, "Ooh!" You know. 862 00:38:09,520 --> 00:38:11,520 Where does the word "loo" come from? 863 00:38:11,520 --> 00:38:13,880 Er, short for Lulu? 864 00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:19,000 I mean... technically, that is correct. 865 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:21,200 It is short for Lulu. 866 00:38:21,200 --> 00:38:22,560 Short for lavatory. 867 00:38:22,560 --> 00:38:26,520 No. So, the story used to be that "loo" came from the phrase 868 00:38:26,520 --> 00:38:28,920 "garde a l'eau" - meaning "watch out for the water" - 869 00:38:28,920 --> 00:38:31,760 that people would shout as they emptied their chamber pot 870 00:38:31,760 --> 00:38:32,960 into the street below. 871 00:38:32,960 --> 00:38:36,080 Cannot be the case because, first of all, they didn't do that. 872 00:38:36,080 --> 00:38:39,080 Didn't do it. And secondly, the first recorded use of the word "loo" 873 00:38:39,080 --> 00:38:41,920 comes from 1922 in James Joyce's Ulysses. 874 00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:46,200 It's probably from Waterloo, which was a company that made iron cisterns 875 00:38:46,200 --> 00:38:47,600 in the 20th century. 876 00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:49,840 Ahh. Wow. 877 00:38:49,840 --> 00:38:52,760 The notion that people emptied their chamber pots out of the windows, 878 00:38:52,760 --> 00:38:53,920 a load of, erm... 879 00:38:53,920 --> 00:38:55,560 Anyway, moving on. 880 00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:57,520 Where does the ukulele come from? 881 00:38:57,520 --> 00:38:59,720 The ukulele case. 882 00:39:02,280 --> 00:39:04,520 It comes from, erm... 883 00:39:04,520 --> 00:39:06,360 ..annoying people at house parties. 884 00:39:06,360 --> 00:39:08,760 Yes, these are all truisms. 885 00:39:08,760 --> 00:39:11,320 Colombia. Ireland. 886 00:39:11,320 --> 00:39:12,600 Ireland? 887 00:39:12,600 --> 00:39:14,480 No. We'd never do that to people. 888 00:39:14,480 --> 00:39:17,280 I like that you're going like this. "Ireland..." 889 00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:19,400 "Ahh." I was so impressed with myself 890 00:39:19,400 --> 00:39:21,200 and then I realised I was wrong, 891 00:39:21,200 --> 00:39:22,600 and I thought, "Just hold it..." 892 00:39:22,600 --> 00:39:24,960 LAUGHTER 893 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:26,840 AISLING: Is it Honolulu? 894 00:39:26,840 --> 00:39:28,880 ROISIN: Ooh. What state is that in? 895 00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:30,720 Ahh. I'm not going to tell you, Sandi, 896 00:39:30,720 --> 00:39:33,280 because I don't want to patronise you. Hawaii. Hawaii. 897 00:39:33,280 --> 00:39:34,560 KLAXON SOUNDS 898 00:39:37,360 --> 00:39:39,320 That's terrible. It was invented in Madeira, 899 00:39:39,320 --> 00:39:41,200 which is a Portuguese island off the coast. 900 00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,160 Oh, wow. That's not fair because they set us up 901 00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:44,360 with a gentleman's shirt, 902 00:39:44,360 --> 00:39:45,920 the little hummingbird, the flower. 903 00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:48,240 That is because it is associated with Hawaii. 904 00:39:48,240 --> 00:39:49,600 It was first brought to Hawaii 905 00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:53,960 by a migrant Portuguese worker named Joao Fernandez in 1879. 906 00:39:53,960 --> 00:39:58,800 It's originally called braginho, which is a Portuguese word for it. 907 00:39:58,800 --> 00:40:01,680 It was the Hawaiians who renamed it ukulele, 908 00:40:01,680 --> 00:40:03,880 and it translates as "jumping flea" 909 00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:07,400 after the way the fingers kind of leap about on the fingerboard. 910 00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:10,440 Right, at what time of day are you most likely to hear 911 00:40:10,440 --> 00:40:12,640 a cock crowing? Oh. 912 00:40:12,640 --> 00:40:15,320 MUSIC: U Can't Touch This by MC Hammer 913 00:40:15,320 --> 00:40:17,240 Soon as I bat my eyelashes. 914 00:40:17,240 --> 00:40:18,480 KLAXON SOUNDS 915 00:40:20,240 --> 00:40:21,760 How did they know? 916 00:40:23,480 --> 00:40:27,040 They are, people think, famous for crowing at first light of day. 917 00:40:27,040 --> 00:40:30,440 Actually, they crow all bloody day, sometimes at night as well. 918 00:40:30,440 --> 00:40:32,880 They do often crow at or just before dawn, 919 00:40:32,880 --> 00:40:35,160 but basically, they then keep going. 920 00:40:35,160 --> 00:40:37,360 So, in the olden days... The olden days. 921 00:40:37,360 --> 00:40:40,040 ..which is exactly the type of historical accuracy 922 00:40:40,040 --> 00:40:42,040 people are watching QI for... 923 00:40:44,240 --> 00:40:47,680 ..when farmers were all reliant on the cock crowing 924 00:40:47,680 --> 00:40:51,280 to know when to get up, were they all just up all the time, 925 00:40:51,280 --> 00:40:55,200 just having the occasional hour-long nap like newborn babies? 926 00:40:55,200 --> 00:40:57,400 Were they just getting dressed 18 times a day? 927 00:40:57,400 --> 00:40:59,920 The interesting thing is that they seem to know it's dawn, 928 00:40:59,920 --> 00:41:01,000 not because it's light, 929 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:04,240 but because their internal body clock tells them. So they've done tests 930 00:41:04,240 --> 00:41:06,360 where they've kept them in sort of dimly lit rooms, 931 00:41:06,360 --> 00:41:08,960 and they still start crowing at exactly the same time each day, 932 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:10,640 so you can rely on them to wake you. 933 00:41:10,640 --> 00:41:11,960 It's perfectly fine. 934 00:41:11,960 --> 00:41:15,040 It's one of the few creatures that could swallow its own brain. 935 00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:16,200 What? What? 936 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:18,840 Look at the size of its mouth. 937 00:41:18,840 --> 00:41:22,360 And its brain has got to get into that tiny head. 938 00:41:22,360 --> 00:41:24,280 Oh, if you fed it its own brain? If you got it out, 939 00:41:24,280 --> 00:41:25,560 it could eat its own brain. 940 00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:27,760 Anyway, they're not crowing because it's light, 941 00:41:27,760 --> 00:41:29,680 they're crowing for all sorts of reasons. 942 00:41:29,680 --> 00:41:32,080 Warnings, territorial claims, showing dominance, 943 00:41:32,080 --> 00:41:34,320 tell other cocks they've just mated. Woo! 944 00:41:34,320 --> 00:41:38,200 You know. Ah! Their crows are really, really loud. 945 00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:41,040 It's an average of 100 decibels, if you're standing within a few feet. 946 00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:42,880 That's about the same as a chainsaw. 947 00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:45,800 Or it could be as much as 143 decibels. 948 00:41:45,800 --> 00:41:49,560 So human eardrums rupture at 150 decibels. 949 00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:53,000 So why don't cockerels deafen themselves? 950 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:55,480 Haven't got any ears. No, that's not... Oh, actually, 951 00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:58,280 why would they be bothering telling their mates about the... 952 00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:00,920 Why would they bother? Jess's head is like Sherlock now. 953 00:42:00,920 --> 00:42:03,680 "But of course..." Yeah. This is shrinking my brain to the point 954 00:42:03,680 --> 00:42:05,920 where I could eat it. 955 00:42:05,920 --> 00:42:07,160 They have an in-built system 956 00:42:07,160 --> 00:42:09,160 to prevent their hearing getting damaged. 957 00:42:09,160 --> 00:42:11,120 It is amazing. Half of the bird's eardrum 958 00:42:11,120 --> 00:42:15,000 is covered by bit of soft tissue that dampens the noise. 959 00:42:15,000 --> 00:42:17,960 And also, when they tilt their head back to crow, 960 00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:20,320 another bit of material covers the ear canal completely 961 00:42:20,320 --> 00:42:22,760 and serves as a built-in ear defender. 962 00:42:22,760 --> 00:42:25,520 Oh, so a little bit of minor surgery and they'd shut up. 963 00:42:25,520 --> 00:42:26,560 Yeah. 964 00:42:29,240 --> 00:42:33,560 Well, the bit nobody talks about is, why haven't the hens gone deaf? 965 00:42:33,560 --> 00:42:36,480 Oh. Oh, they're all in the corner, like... 966 00:42:36,480 --> 00:42:38,080 "Shut it! Shut it!" 967 00:42:39,200 --> 00:42:41,520 If you hear a cock crow, it might be morning 968 00:42:41,520 --> 00:42:43,280 or he might have just got lucky. 969 00:42:43,280 --> 00:42:46,040 Let's hear the scores and see if they feel smelly or tasty. 970 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:48,480 In last place, with a sense of shame, frankly, 971 00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:50,400 with minus... Wow. Minus 36. 972 00:42:51,720 --> 00:42:54,320 Aisling. No! What? How? 973 00:42:54,320 --> 00:42:56,840 APPLAUSE 974 00:42:58,880 --> 00:43:02,480 With a sense of humour, in joint second place with minus 18, 975 00:43:02,480 --> 00:43:04,400 it's Roisin and Jessica. 976 00:43:04,400 --> 00:43:05,440 APPLAUSE 977 00:43:08,440 --> 00:43:14,000 And with a sense of purpose, with minus seven, it's Alan. 978 00:43:14,000 --> 00:43:15,040 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 979 00:43:21,920 --> 00:43:24,560 Thanks, Roisin, Aisling, Jessica and Alan. 980 00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:26,720 I leave you with this sign-off from Steve Martin 981 00:43:26,720 --> 00:43:28,640 about his sense of smell. 982 00:43:28,640 --> 00:43:30,720 "I cannot smell mothballs 983 00:43:30,720 --> 00:43:34,360 "because it's so difficult to get their little legs apart." 984 00:43:34,360 --> 00:43:35,400 Goodnight.