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Applause

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seagulls squawk

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ahoy, there!

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And welcome to a bright and
balmy episode of qi down by the briny.

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Joining me for a saunter
down the shore tonight

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are a supersized
strongman, Lou Sanders.

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Applause

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a seven-stone
softie, sindhu vee.

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Applause

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a sun-kissed stunner, ed gamble.

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Applause

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and stomping on everyone's
sand castles, Alan Davies!

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Applause

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before we dive in, let's hold
our seashells to our ears.

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Lou goes...

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♪ we're all going on
a summer holiday... ♪

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sindhu goes...

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♪ sand and sea... Oh, nice.

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♪ Sea and sand. ♪

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Ed goes...

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♪ lazin' on a
sunny afternoon... ♪

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Alan goes...

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♪ I wanna have sex on
the beach... They laugh

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♪ come on, move your body... ♪

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I mean, lower the tone.

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So, these photographic
cut-out boards were invented

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in the 1890s in Cairo.

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Photographic studios
would cut a hole

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in an actual ancient
sarcophagus, right,

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so that tourists could pose as
an ancient Egyptian mummy.

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And the idea caught on,
and eventually they thought,

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"we haven't got enough
ancient sarcophagi,

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"so we'll make a few fake ones
and then you could be the sphinx

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"and so on," and
the idea took off.

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This particular photograph
is one of my favourites.

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It shows the archduke
Franz ferdinand,

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the one who went
on to spark world war I

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by being assassinated
in Sarajevo.

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Anyway, it's him
on holiday in Cairo.

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That looks like my dad
in a sleeping bag. Yes.

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Laughter

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the big question, Alan,
for you - hats on or hats off?

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I keep thinking it's
going to fall. Yeah.

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It looks nice on you.
You look very dapper.

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Well, that's very kind.
Very Maurice chevalier.

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I'm enjoying your sun hat
as well. Yeah, it's going.

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That's it. There we go.

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Can I just say, I've never
seen you two flirting before

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and I really enjoy it.

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Do you know? Neither of
us has been out for a year.

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It's worked wonders
for our relationship.

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Anyway, on with the questions.

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Where in mainland britain
is closest to French soil?

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Has cafe Rouge got a garden?

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That's...

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That's the only place.

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I mean, I've driven past.

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I-I don't know.

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Any other guesses?

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I'm happy just to say Dover.

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Klaxon

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come on, let's get this going!
Sweet of you to get us started.

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I like that. Let's
get it rolling.

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It's qi, baby! I like
that very much.

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Ok, I'm going to give you a
clue. French lieutenant's woman.

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Anyone remember
where it took place?

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Lyme Regis.

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After decades of coastal
erosion washing away all the sand

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at lyme Regis, they had to
basically rebuild the beaches,

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and 30,000 tonnes
of sand were shipped

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from northern France.

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So I guess you could
say that the closest bit

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of French coastline that
you can enjoy is in dorset.

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First of all, they had
to remove groynes.

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All the old groynes. Ed laughs

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I've had to do that before.
You've had to do that?

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What do you mean? There
was groynes in the sand?

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Do you know what a groyne is?

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I do actually know this
from gcse geography.

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It's the barriers all the
way along the beach.

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Stops the beach
getting swept along.

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Yeah, it comes from
the Latin "to grunt"

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and apparently it used
to look like a pig's snout.

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I don't think so.
Do you think so?

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What, my groyne?
Or...? They laugh

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I wasn't...

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I wasn't going to
go that low, but...

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She was going to keep to here.

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Or, for me, that high.

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Then they added shingle
to add some ballast

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to stop the whole
beach washing away.

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The whole lot was shipped
over from northern France,

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and they thought about
lots of different kinds of sand.

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But it was the wrong
colour, it was the wrong size -

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you know, everything
about it wasn't right.

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And then they got 6,000
tonnes of Norwegian rock

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brought over to
strengthen the cliffs.

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And so the town's new
sea wall is also constructed

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out of Portuguese
and Chinese granite.

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So it's a Portuguese, Chinese,
Norwegian, French seafront.

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It would've been great after
Brexit if France had gone,

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"all right, then. We're
having lyme Regis back.

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"We'll have lyme Regis,
thank you very much."

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As well as being created,
beaches can spontaneously vanish.

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So there was a violent storm
off the coast of county Mayo's

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achill island in 1984,

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and it washed away
the entire beach.

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There was a 300 metre
beach, called dooagh beach,

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and the local community woke up
one morning and it had entirely gone.

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What was in its place, though?

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Just rocks and pebbles.

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And it was terrible for
tourism. It was just awful.

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And then, in 2017, there
was unusual tidal activity

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and it all washed
back again. No, it didn't!

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Yeah, it did. It all
washed back again.

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And all the jobs started up
again, and all the tourism.

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And then, in 2019...

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Yeah, gone. No!

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In Denmark, sometimes
the beach is like this

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and sometimes the
beach is like this,

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and you never know which
one you're going to get. Yeah.

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And where is David Blaine
when this is happening?

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They laugh

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where did it go?

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Well, I mean, it just erodes,
and it is a serious problem.

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In fact, because of it,

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there's a thing called the
coastal protection act 1949,

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and you're not allowed to take any
pebbles or sand from UK beaches.

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Oh! You can be fined £1,000.

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You could be forced
to return all the stuff.

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Because we have to protect
them, because, frankly,

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the ocean's taking enough.

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Do you want to have a
word with the props manager?

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I don't know where... They laugh

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and also now, if we need more
sand, the French will say "non".

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But the Italians are
even more fierce about it.

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You can get six years in prison.

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In fact, in 2019, the security
services at cag-liari airport,

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I think it's called. The
one in sardinia, anyway.

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Cagliari. Cagliari? Cagliari.

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They confiscated 200kg
of sand from tourists

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in a couple of weeks.

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Just taking the sand home?
Just taking the sand home.

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Yeah. Like, in a container.
Like, as a personal souvenir.

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Well, I think we all accidentally
take a little bit of sand home.

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Yes, but if it's all of us,
you know - beach gone.

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But I just mean, if
you're going for a swim

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and there's sand washing around,

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we're all accidentally
smuggling some.

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Oh, do you mean in
your orifices? Yeah. Yes.

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In your groyne?

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In your pig-snouty groyne?

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Alan snorts

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I've got loads of
sand. "I'm sorry, paolo,

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"I took some sand
home in my snout!"

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But what is really amazing,

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if you look at sand
samples under a microscope,

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look at the variety of materials

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and shapes that it comes in.

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So, when you look at sand, it looks
quite homogenous to the naked eye.

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It does. Don't you think
that's like a cheese board?

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But you can see detail
within the tiny particles.

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It's amazing, isn't it?

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Nature is quite good in the end.

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I... Laughter

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if you take nothing
else away with you,

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take that thought.

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What are the main problems
with living in a sand castle?

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You get too much
sand in your loo-loo la-la.

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In your loo-loo la-la?

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Yes, loo-loo la-la and groynes.

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There we go.

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I like loo-loo la-la. Did your
mother call it that? No, no.

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The kids came up
with it. Loo-loo la-la?

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Loo-loo la-la. And they'd run
around saying loo-loo la-la.

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And then my mother started
singing it one day in the kitchen.

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♪ Loo-loo la-la... ♪
I was like, "no, no.

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"That's not... no."

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We don't sing
that. No, we don't.

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Just don't.

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So there's going to be
one, is there? A real one?

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What, a real problem?

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A real sand castle.

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Like, liveable with rooms?

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00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:26,600
We may get to that.

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But first of all, we're
talking about creatures

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that live in sand castles.

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What? I know!

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There are sand
castle worms, ok? Ooh!

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Yeah, they are called -

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and I probably will
mispronounce this -

192
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,480
phragmatopoma californica.

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00:08:40,560 --> 00:08:42,800
So they live along
the californian coast

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and they live their entire
life in castles made of sand,

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which they build
themselves. Ooh!

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They are fantastic.

197
00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:52,720
So, picture on the left, there
- that is a single sandworm.

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00:08:52,800 --> 00:08:54,720
And the tentacles
that it's got on its head -

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00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:57,000
that's those things you can
see sticking out like that -

200
00:08:57,040 --> 00:08:58,920
they sort through
grains of sand.

201
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:01,720
And so they select ones
that are the suitable size,

202
00:09:01,800 --> 00:09:05,280
and then they secrete a compound
from their body, which honestly,

203
00:09:05,360 --> 00:09:07,240
it's a sort of underwater glue.

204
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,920
So then these other pictures
are a whole lot of them.

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00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:13,400
Each little hole, each little
tube is a single sand worm,

206
00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:15,400
and then they all live together.

207
00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,400
Audience: Wow. Yes,
wow! I know, right?

208
00:09:17,480 --> 00:09:19,440
What's import... Thank you.

209
00:09:19,520 --> 00:09:23,240
What's important for us is that
this cement that they secrete,

210
00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:24,760
it's like an underwater glue,

211
00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:28,480
and it might be that it has
amazing medical applications. Wow.

212
00:09:28,560 --> 00:09:31,016
It might be the sort of thing
that can glue bones back together

213
00:09:31,040 --> 00:09:32,320
instead of using metal pins.

214
00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:33,880
I tried to get worms once.

215
00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:35,920
You tried to actually
get them? Yeah.

216
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,640
To make yourself
lose weight? Yeah.

217
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:40,600
Ok. And I put a piece
of raw meat... Lou laughs

218
00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:42,040
..on my bum.

219
00:09:44,400 --> 00:09:46,760
Bacon wrapped in bacon?

220
00:09:46,840 --> 00:09:48,240
W-What was it, darling?

221
00:09:48,320 --> 00:09:49,560
Nothing happened.

222
00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:50,920
No, what was the meat?

223
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,560
I can't remember. I
was only about 11.

224
00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:54,040
Chop? Was it a chop?

225
00:09:54,120 --> 00:09:56,840
Oh, a lovely lamb
chop on the bot?

226
00:09:56,920 --> 00:09:58,480
You'd hope so, wouldn't you?

227
00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:00,560
It's interesting to know,
Lou, that you're vegan,

228
00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,560
but your bottom isn't. Yes!

229
00:10:02,640 --> 00:10:05,240
Do you know, in the tour De
France, years and years ago,

230
00:10:05,320 --> 00:10:07,920
before they had lots of sort
of medical things and so on,

231
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:10,136
the gentlemen on the tour
De France used to put a steak

232
00:10:10,160 --> 00:10:12,600
down their trousers
to stop it rubbing, right,

233
00:10:12,680 --> 00:10:13,760
when they were bicycling.

234
00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,960
And then it was fully
tenderised when they got there,

235
00:10:16,040 --> 00:10:17,520
then they'd cook
it for their supper.

236
00:10:17,600 --> 00:10:20,680
Oh, no. Urgh!

237
00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:23,520
That's my gift to you. Wow.

238
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:24,920
You'd have to keep an eye on it

239
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,680
to make sure you got
your steak back again?

240
00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:28,920
Yes, you wouldn't want your
friend's steak, would you?

241
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,320
Oh, boy!

242
00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,920
From your friend's
loo-loo la-la.

243
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,320
That's not... Yeah.

244
00:10:33,400 --> 00:10:35,200
No.

245
00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:37,720
Anyway, each of these
worms is about an inch long

246
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:39,920
and they live in tunnels
about six inches long,

247
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,520
but they can live in a city.

248
00:10:41,600 --> 00:10:44,520
And they're amazing. They're
constructed on the shore.

249
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,720
And so what happens is,
they're underwater at high tide,

250
00:10:47,800 --> 00:10:49,920
but they're exposed at low tide.

251
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:53,080
So, during low tide, they kind
of hunker down and they seal up

252
00:10:53,160 --> 00:10:54,760
cos they don't want
anything to get them.

253
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:57,480
But when it's high tide,
they pop their head out

254
00:10:57,560 --> 00:10:59,520
with these lovely
little tentacles and fish.

255
00:10:59,600 --> 00:11:01,960
They go fishing for microscopic
food that's happening past

256
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:04,920
and grab grains of sand
to improve the home.

257
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,400
What do you think the main
problem these worms might have,

258
00:11:07,480 --> 00:11:09,520
given that they
never leave the tunnel

259
00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:11,920
and they always face outwards?

260
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,240
Is it going to the loo?

261
00:11:13,320 --> 00:11:14,720
Yes, darling.

262
00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,800
Do they gradually
fill up their tunnel?

263
00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:20,760
They would. If they just
defecated, it would just be full of poo.

264
00:11:20,840 --> 00:11:22,400
So they don't
defecate? No, they do.

265
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:23,840
But it's so clever, ok?

266
00:11:23,920 --> 00:11:26,680
It's the sort of thing a little
boy goes, "oh, I want to do that!"

267
00:11:26,760 --> 00:11:29,440
Ok, they have a rectum at the
end of the body like most animals,

268
00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:32,600
but there's a long tube that
comes halfway up the body,

269
00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:34,760
it poos on its own back

270
00:11:34,840 --> 00:11:40,040
and then it simply shrugs
the faecal pellet up its body

271
00:11:40,120 --> 00:11:41,240
and out the tube.

272
00:11:41,320 --> 00:11:43,520
I'm quite envious of any
creature that can come up

273
00:11:43,600 --> 00:11:45,400
with a pellet like that. Yeah.

274
00:11:45,480 --> 00:11:47,520
I'd love to have a
faecal pellet. Yeah.

275
00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:54,200
It would transform
lavatory design, wouldn't it,

276
00:11:54,280 --> 00:11:55,920
because it would be
more like marble run

277
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,200
or something like that.

278
00:11:57,280 --> 00:11:59,760
You could have some fun with
it. You could just launch it off.

279
00:11:59,840 --> 00:12:02,280
Yeah. Do you think you
could teach yourself to fire it

280
00:12:02,360 --> 00:12:04,080
and maybe set targets
up in the bathroom?

281
00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:06,280
Well, I think after a while,
there's bound to be...

282
00:12:06,360 --> 00:12:08,640
There's bound to be
competitive pelleting, isn't there?

283
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,360
Ed, dare to dream.

284
00:12:13,640 --> 00:12:17,680
How far can it go,
though? They laugh

285
00:12:17,760 --> 00:12:20,480
anyway, they are
astonishingly interesting.

286
00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:22,400
So some squirt
sperm up into the water

287
00:12:22,480 --> 00:12:24,960
and some squirt eggs up into
the water, and larvae are created.

288
00:12:25,040 --> 00:12:28,080
And then what happens is
they can smell the very cement

289
00:12:28,160 --> 00:12:30,400
that holds the sand
castle city together,

290
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:32,240
and they go back to
where they came from.

291
00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,320
Sandi, do you think
nature's actually quite good

292
00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:35,800
in the end as well?

293
00:12:37,520 --> 00:12:40,080
I'll be honest, Lou. I'm
coming round to it. I am.

294
00:12:41,960 --> 00:12:43,720
There is a human who
lives in a sand castle,

295
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:46,560
and his name is marcio matolias.

296
00:12:46,640 --> 00:12:49,560
He's also known in Rio
de Janeiro as king marcio,

297
00:12:49,640 --> 00:12:51,600
and he's a sand sculptor.

298
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:55,280
He makes his money from tourists,
and also from a used book shop

299
00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:58,920
which he runs from a
three-square-metre castle

300
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,600
that has been his
home for over 20 years.

301
00:13:00,680 --> 00:13:02,840
And it's made of
sand? It's made of sand.

302
00:13:02,920 --> 00:13:04,640
That's his... Where he lives.

303
00:13:04,720 --> 00:13:06,960
He lives inside
that sand castle.

304
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:08,480
His main problems
are the elements -

305
00:13:08,520 --> 00:13:11,160
so his castle can collapse if
there's a very heavy storm.

306
00:13:11,240 --> 00:13:14,080
It gets unbearably
hot in the summer.

307
00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:16,160
It's got no toilets and
he hasn't got a tube.

308
00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:18,080
You know, he
can't do the... Thing.

309
00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:20,920
So he has to go to the
fire station if he wants to...

310
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,520
They're all right
with that, are they?

311
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:25,920
Apparently. It costs a dollar
each time he goes. I don't know...

312
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,640
He's saving a lot
on rent, I suppose.

313
00:13:28,720 --> 00:13:30,840
He's lived rent-free
for more than 20 years.

314
00:13:30,920 --> 00:13:32,640
Doesn't the sea wash it away?

315
00:13:32,720 --> 00:13:36,120
The trick is to build it
above the tide Mark. Right.

316
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,120
In the lay-by off the a4.

317
00:13:39,240 --> 00:13:41,920
I'd worry about bullies
coming and kicking it down.

318
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,480
Well, it's funny
you should say that.

319
00:13:43,560 --> 00:13:45,880
Because probably the very
first reference to a sand castle

320
00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:48,000
being kicked over -
arguably in the iliad,

321
00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,000
which is the seventh century bc.

322
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:51,760
Homer described
Apollo, god of the sun,

323
00:13:51,840 --> 00:13:53,960
demolishing a Greek
stockade, and compared it to

324
00:13:54,040 --> 00:13:55,680
a child kicking over
a sand sculpture.

325
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,640
So we haven't really
matured, have we, darling?

326
00:13:58,720 --> 00:14:01,760
Anyway, we thought we'd get
you to make your own sand castle

327
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:03,920
or sand sculpture, so
you've each got a tray of sand.

328
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,760
Here we are. Like this. Ooh!

329
00:14:05,840 --> 00:14:09,280
And there's a bucket of
water you'll need as well. Yes.

330
00:14:09,360 --> 00:14:13,080
Ok, it needs to be really wet.

331
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,600
That is the thing.

332
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:16,200
Have you not got
a bucket of water?

333
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:18,640
Yeah, but I don't really
want to get messy. Oh, I see!

334
00:14:18,720 --> 00:14:20,160
I quite like a prissy child.

335
00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:23,240
I took my daughter
out - she was seven.

336
00:14:23,320 --> 00:14:25,800
The whole class, we
all went and had burgers.

337
00:14:25,880 --> 00:14:27,840
There was a little boy
who was very particular.

338
00:14:27,920 --> 00:14:29,840
I said, "do you want a
burger, darling?" He said,

339
00:14:29,880 --> 00:14:31,680
"I wonder if the chef
might do a salad?"

340
00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:33,760
Laughter

341
00:14:37,440 --> 00:14:38,640
so that's it.

342
00:14:38,720 --> 00:14:40,840
Yes! Oh, sindhu's
doing fine work here.

343
00:14:40,920 --> 00:14:42,640
I'm just going to
tip all mine in there.

344
00:14:42,720 --> 00:14:44,720
Oh, you're just going
to go crazy for it, yeah.

345
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,280
But apparently
the wetter it is...

346
00:14:46,360 --> 00:14:49,920
The guy who lives in the
sand castle on the beach in rio

347
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,240
has to keep wetting it
otherwise it collapses.

348
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,000
Oh, no. What? What?

349
00:14:55,520 --> 00:14:57,640
Mine looks like
rather a nice dahl.

350
00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:01,200
Does it feel nice?
Does it feel like a nice...?

351
00:15:01,240 --> 00:15:04,640
All I'm trying to do is get all
my sand in the bucket. Right.

352
00:15:04,720 --> 00:15:06,920
I think I made mine
too wet. Oh, a bit too...

353
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,160
Sindhu's doing very well.

354
00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:10,440
Well, I mean, I am from
the country of Taj Mahal.

355
00:15:10,520 --> 00:15:13,480
I have a lot to live up to here.
And I go to Brighton now and again,

356
00:15:13,560 --> 00:15:16,320
so a lot of pressure
on me as well. Ok.

357
00:15:21,760 --> 00:15:24,520
Oh, it just looks like
my bucket's got the shits.

358
00:15:28,960 --> 00:15:30,280
Oh.

359
00:15:30,360 --> 00:15:31,840
Has it not come out?

360
00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:34,760
It looks like it didn't
make it to the fire station.

361
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,320
Just put a bucket
over it. Oh, no, no.

362
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:42,736
Right, I think,
let's have a look.

363
00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:44,880
Sindhu, do you want to
describe what you've made here?

364
00:15:44,960 --> 00:15:46,800
Well, it's a house.

365
00:15:46,880 --> 00:15:49,680
There's some really nice parents
that live on this floor... right.

366
00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:50,880
..And they've had a fight...

367
00:15:50,960 --> 00:15:53,920
Oh... So now they're
building two separate houses.

368
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,480
Wow. It's like a soap opera.

369
00:15:55,560 --> 00:15:57,320
Yeah, yeah.

370
00:15:57,400 --> 00:16:00,480
Can I just ask sindhu, how's
your marriage? Is it all right?

371
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:03,360
I've been married 23 years, Lou,
no-one is going anywhere now.

372
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:09,240
Ed, what have you
made, my darling?

373
00:16:09,320 --> 00:16:12,040
Mine is a satirical piece
about climate change.

374
00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,760
Yes, it looks like
a breast implant.

375
00:16:14,840 --> 00:16:16,960
It's also a breast implant. Ok.

376
00:16:17,040 --> 00:16:21,160
Oh, Alan you got some out the
bucket. Creating a mezzanine level.

377
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:25,520
Lovely. Lou, do you
want to describe yours?

378
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:27,880
It's just sort of classic
piece, really. Hm.

379
00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,880
Oh, hang on.

380
00:16:29,960 --> 00:16:32,000
Oh, that's it. Yeah,
I think I'm going to...

381
00:16:32,080 --> 00:16:33,840
Lou's the winner.
Lou's the winner.

382
00:16:39,880 --> 00:16:42,440
Ok, let's put the sand
castles away, shall we?

383
00:16:42,520 --> 00:16:45,240
My favourite childhood memory
was building sand castles

384
00:16:45,320 --> 00:16:48,840
with my grandfather, until
my mum took the urn from me.

385
00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:56,200
I'm here all week.

386
00:16:56,280 --> 00:16:59,840
Where would you slip
on this swish ensemble?

387
00:16:59,920 --> 00:17:02,080
That's where it went.

388
00:17:02,160 --> 00:17:04,720
Ok. Well, not on the beach,

389
00:17:04,800 --> 00:17:06,400
judging by how
pale the model is.

390
00:17:06,480 --> 00:17:08,040
Yes, darling.

391
00:17:08,120 --> 00:17:10,600
In the olden days
over here on the beach.

392
00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:14,080
Yes, exactly that. Really? It's
a woman's wool bathing suit.

393
00:17:14,160 --> 00:17:17,720
It actually dates from the 1870s
in the United States, but women

394
00:17:17,800 --> 00:17:20,760
in the 19th century were expected
to bathe in full-length dresses,

395
00:17:20,840 --> 00:17:23,680
gowns made of thick
material that didn't become

396
00:17:23,760 --> 00:17:24,920
transparent when wet.

397
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:27,080
And they quite often used
to have weights in the hem.

398
00:17:27,120 --> 00:17:29,720
They didn't want it to float up,
right? There's no point in having

399
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,560
a dress on and it
suddenly goes up like that.

400
00:17:31,600 --> 00:17:34,360
So you've got weights
and woollen material.

401
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,600
How many women just
drowned from that? Thousands.

402
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,200
Yes. Thousands and thousands.
All of that changed in the 1900s.

403
00:17:39,280 --> 00:17:41,480
There was a wonderful woman
called Annette Kellerman.

404
00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:42,800
She was an Australian swimmer.

405
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:45,360
She became one of the very
first women to publicly wear

406
00:17:45,440 --> 00:17:48,360
a one-piece bathing suit. This is
not a picture of Annette Kellerman.

407
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:49,960
This is women having their suits

408
00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:52,640
measured to see if they were
allowed to be on the beach.

409
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:57,480
You can see why they weren't
allowed that, because it is very erotic.

410
00:17:57,560 --> 00:17:59,160
Quite risque, isn't it?

411
00:17:59,240 --> 00:18:01,880
Well, Annette Kellerman, the
very first time she appeared

412
00:18:01,960 --> 00:18:05,720
in 1907 on a beach in Massachusetts,
wearing a one-piece suit,

413
00:18:05,800 --> 00:18:07,920
she was arrested
for public indecency.

414
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,680
The judge was very
sweet about it. He said,

415
00:18:09,720 --> 00:18:11,880
"yes, I can see it's more
comfortable for swimming."

416
00:18:11,960 --> 00:18:16,080
So after that, she had to wear
a cape to the edge of the shore.

417
00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:18,536
The guy you've got to watch
out for is the guy who volunteers

418
00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,760
to measure the swimming...
To do the measuring.

419
00:18:20,840 --> 00:18:23,960
Yeah, yeah. It's Alan! He's
got the same hat as Alan.

420
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,000
All right, I'll do it.
She's a really interesting

421
00:18:26,080 --> 00:18:28,440
woman, Annette Kellerman.
She's really worth looking at.

422
00:18:28,520 --> 00:18:31,360
She was born in 1887,
and she suffered from rickets

423
00:18:31,440 --> 00:18:34,360
as a child, and so she was
sent to have swimming lessons

424
00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:35,440
in order to improve.

425
00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:38,800
It was kind of physiotherapy,
and she was so good at it

426
00:18:38,880 --> 00:18:41,120
that she started appearing
in competitions and giving

427
00:18:41,200 --> 00:18:42,400
performances in Melbourne.

428
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:46,520
She would dress as a mermaid
and swim with fish in an aquarium.

429
00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:48,000
I mean, it's a living.

430
00:18:48,080 --> 00:18:51,360
Is that her? That's her. Yeah,
isn't that extraordinary? Wow.

431
00:18:51,440 --> 00:18:53,040
She became a
movie star, actually,

432
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:55,840
in the United States and she
performed all her own stunts.

433
00:18:55,920 --> 00:18:59,520
She once dove 60 foot
into a pool full of crocodiles.

434
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:04,280
Oh. She was the very first person
to appear nude in a Hollywood movie.

435
00:19:04,360 --> 00:19:07,800
This is her in a movie
called a daughter of the gods.

436
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,600
It was made in 1916.

437
00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:12,680
It was the very first
film that cost $1 million.

438
00:19:12,760 --> 00:19:15,160
It took 20,000 people
to make this film.

439
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,960
It took eight months, and we
don't have a copy of it any more.

440
00:19:18,040 --> 00:19:19,920
Oh, no. But isn't she beautiful?

441
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:22,560
Yeah. You see, just out
of frame there's the guy

442
00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:24,200
with his measuring stick going,

443
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,720
"I'm not sure
this is regulation."

444
00:19:25,800 --> 00:19:27,240
"No, I don't think
it's any good."

445
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:28,360
The modern bikini -

446
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,880
any idea when that turns up?
When do we first get the bikini?

447
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:34,200
'60s? No, earlier
than that - '46.

448
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:36,960
Oh. This is not actually a
bikini. This is called the atome.

449
00:19:37,040 --> 00:19:40,440
So this is the French designer
Jacques heim, and he designed

450
00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:42,760
the atome, which is this
one. Advertised as the world's

451
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:43,840
smallest bathing suit.

452
00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:46,480
And then a man called Louis
reard said his would be smaller

453
00:19:46,560 --> 00:19:48,240
than the world's
smallest bathing suit,

454
00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,440
and he called it the
bikini after the bikini atoll.

455
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,280
So it's all to do with
the atomic bomb

456
00:19:52,360 --> 00:19:54,120
that they were
experimenting with.

457
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:57,000
Nuclear tests were
done on the bikini atoll.

458
00:19:57,080 --> 00:20:01,040
So bikini - it just means
"coconut place" in Marshallese.

459
00:20:01,120 --> 00:20:04,560
Do you know this particular bikini
reminds me that when I was eight

460
00:20:04,640 --> 00:20:09,160
years old, I came home from school
and my mother was serving us lunch

461
00:20:09,240 --> 00:20:13,080
in a bikini, and we said, "well,
why are you wearing a bikini?"

462
00:20:13,160 --> 00:20:15,680
She said, "because I can't
wear it outside. It's not modest.

463
00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:18,000
"It's so beautiful so I'll
just wear it in the house."

464
00:20:18,080 --> 00:20:19,480
So...

465
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:22,160
She just wore her bikini all day,
and then when my dad got home

466
00:20:22,240 --> 00:20:24,640
she changed and I said, "why
don't you have your bikini on?"

467
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:26,360
She said, "because
it's very immodest.

468
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,880
"He will have a shock and
heart attack," and we were like,

469
00:20:28,960 --> 00:20:33,360
"oh, we don't what that."
What a secret weapon to have.

470
00:20:33,440 --> 00:20:35,640
"I've had enough of you."

471
00:20:35,720 --> 00:20:36,960
Exactly.

472
00:20:38,600 --> 00:20:41,720
But it was exactly like
that, you know? Frilly bikinis.

473
00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:43,560
Polka-dotted frilly bikini.

474
00:20:43,640 --> 00:20:45,600
Well, let's have
another question.

475
00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,040
How do Germans spoil
your Spanish holiday?

476
00:20:48,120 --> 00:20:49,680
By showing up.

477
00:20:49,760 --> 00:20:51,440
Gasps

478
00:20:55,800 --> 00:20:59,200
they always want
to hog the places.

479
00:20:59,280 --> 00:21:00,880
Klaxon

480
00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:08,040
has some research been
done and it turns out it was us?

481
00:21:08,120 --> 00:21:09,560
Yes, that's part of the truth.

482
00:21:09,640 --> 00:21:10,960
It's to do with mr Hitler.

483
00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:14,640
To do with mr Hitler and why the
Germans spoil your Spanish holiday.

484
00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:18,440
So, he is responsible for the fact
that you have to change your watch

485
00:21:18,520 --> 00:21:21,400
every time you travel
between britain and Spain.

486
00:21:21,480 --> 00:21:23,600
What happened was,
in 1942, general Franco -

487
00:21:23,680 --> 00:21:27,640
he switched Spain from greenwich
mean time to central European time

488
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:31,720
to match Berlin's clocks
in solidarity with Hitler,

489
00:21:31,800 --> 00:21:34,560
and bumped the whole
country forward an hour.

490
00:21:34,640 --> 00:21:37,920
And the result is that Spain
is not in its natural time zone.

491
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,840
Not the worst thing
that Hitler's done.

492
00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:41,440
No, no, darling.

493
00:21:45,880 --> 00:21:49,280
So the one that would maximise
the amount of sunlight during the day

494
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:51,680
is not the zone
that Spain is in.

495
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,680
There are many parts of Spain
that are west of greenwich, and yet

496
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:55,760
it's an hour ahead.

497
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,400
And so during the summer on
the west coast of Spain, the sun

498
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,000
is directly overhead at 20
to three in the afternoon,

499
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:02,400
which makes no sense at all.

500
00:22:02,480 --> 00:22:04,600
Would he mind if we put it back?

501
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:06,080
Well, I don't know
why they don't.

502
00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:07,800
It just would make
sense, wouldn't it?

503
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:09,560
Call me. Call
you. Lou in charge.

504
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:12,480
Now, the idea that - since
you first came up with the idea -

505
00:22:12,560 --> 00:22:15,720
the Germans might hog the
sun loungers by getting up early

506
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:19,760
and placing the towels
upon them is not true.

507
00:22:19,840 --> 00:22:23,880
It is something that has been lodged
in the British psyche since 1993,

508
00:22:23,960 --> 00:22:26,480
and it's due to a
carling black label ad.

509
00:22:26,560 --> 00:22:30,040
They ran an ad where a British
person threw a towel from his room

510
00:22:30,120 --> 00:22:33,200
to a lounger, and it skimmed
across the pool like a bouncing bomb

511
00:22:33,280 --> 00:22:34,600
to the theme of the dam busters.

512
00:22:34,680 --> 00:22:37,400
So the Germans are very upset
that this continues to be a thing.

513
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:41,520
So in 2014, they did an
investigation - bild newspaper -

514
00:22:41,600 --> 00:22:45,440
into it, and they claimed, according
to their observations in Spanish

515
00:22:45,520 --> 00:22:51,320
resorts, the British are by far
the largest culprits for doing this.

516
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:54,200
Though when they interviewed
one British holiday-maker,

517
00:22:54,280 --> 00:22:55,840
they insisted it's the French.

518
00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,560
Right, who invented sunbathing?

519
00:22:59,640 --> 00:23:04,840
I don't know much trivia, but...

520
00:23:04,920 --> 00:23:07,120
I thought that was it.

521
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:08,360
I know nothing.

522
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:09,880
Nothing.

523
00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:13,360
But my mother said once,
she said, "you must go to school

524
00:23:13,440 --> 00:23:16,280
"with the umbrella
because you are very dark.

525
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:19,480
"Sunbathing is only allowed
by the lady who would do it.

526
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:21,040
"She was coco
Chanel. Coco Chanel -

527
00:23:21,120 --> 00:23:23,320
"she could do sunbathing
because she was so fair.

528
00:23:23,400 --> 00:23:25,600
"Not like you, over
dark. Take the umbrella."

529
00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:27,760
So I had to go to
school with an umbrella.

530
00:23:27,840 --> 00:23:30,680
Well, it is often thought that
coco Chanel invented suntanning

531
00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:34,200
but, in fact, she
didn't really originate it.

532
00:23:34,280 --> 00:23:35,840
It was the sun newspaper.

533
00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:39,440
It was the sun newspaper,
yes, that decided it was the thing.

534
00:23:39,520 --> 00:23:42,520
There's a wealthy American
socialite couple called

535
00:23:42,600 --> 00:23:44,120
Gerald and Sara Murphy.

536
00:23:44,200 --> 00:23:46,760
This is a wonderful picture
of Gerald and Sara on the left,

537
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:50,320
and Cole Porter, who's one of
their friends, and a woman called

538
00:23:50,400 --> 00:23:53,480
Genevieve carpenter, who just
seems to be there to hold Cole up.

539
00:23:53,560 --> 00:23:57,240
And they went to the French riviera
in the 1920s, and they became famous

540
00:23:57,320 --> 00:23:58,840
as party and holiday hosts.

541
00:23:58,920 --> 00:24:02,000
Up until then, people had only
gone to the riviera in the winter,

542
00:24:02,080 --> 00:24:04,880
and they persuaded the hotel De
cap to remain open for the summer.

543
00:24:04,960 --> 00:24:06,320
And everybody came.

544
00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:08,320
So Zelda and f.
Scott Fitzgerald,

545
00:24:08,400 --> 00:24:10,400
Ernest Hemingway, Pablo Picasso,

546
00:24:10,480 --> 00:24:13,160
Dorothy Parker, Cole
Porter in the picture there,

547
00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,560
and they invented the idea
of beach time and sunbathing.

548
00:24:15,640 --> 00:24:17,480
They used to get everybody
to come for picnics,

549
00:24:17,560 --> 00:24:19,200
and they used to start
games on the beach.

550
00:24:19,280 --> 00:24:21,320
It's so weird to think it
had never happened before.

551
00:24:21,400 --> 00:24:24,160
People had gone to the beach to
go swimming, but they hadn't thought,

552
00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,120
"we'll just stop for a bit."

553
00:24:26,200 --> 00:24:28,600
Why was it unfashionable
before then to have a tan?

554
00:24:28,680 --> 00:24:29,720
Why do you think that was?

555
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:31,400
Because it showed
you worked outside.

556
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:33,640
Yeah, that you had what
could only be described

557
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:36,240
as a lower-class job.
You worked outdoors.

558
00:24:36,320 --> 00:24:40,280
Anyway, coco Chanel is worth
talking about because she's often said

559
00:24:40,360 --> 00:24:42,680
to have sort of single-handed...
There she is on the left.

560
00:24:42,760 --> 00:24:44,600
She came back from
a mediterranean cruise.

561
00:24:44,680 --> 00:24:46,920
Crazy coco. Crazy.
Came back with

562
00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:50,920
a tan in 1923 from a cruise
and everybody went crazy for it.

563
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:53,760
But she's really probably
just putting the icing on what

564
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:57,080
was already chic, and it was chic
because of the woman on the right.

565
00:24:57,160 --> 00:25:02,120
This is the world's first
female global sports celebrity.

566
00:25:02,200 --> 00:25:05,120
She was a tennis player
called Suzanne lenglen,

567
00:25:05,200 --> 00:25:07,160
and she played in short sleeves.

568
00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:10,160
I mean, look at that. In
1919, she had a deep tan.

569
00:25:10,240 --> 00:25:12,560
She was the only female
player to serve overarm.

570
00:25:12,640 --> 00:25:14,480
She drank cognac between sets.

571
00:25:14,560 --> 00:25:16,240
I know.

572
00:25:16,320 --> 00:25:19,400
And she won 241
titles during her career.

573
00:25:19,480 --> 00:25:22,200
So if you think, you know, at
this very moment, Serena Williams

574
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,440
has got 98 titles -

575
00:25:24,520 --> 00:25:27,200
Suzanne lenglen, 241.

576
00:25:27,280 --> 00:25:29,880
And part of the reason why
wimbledon is where it is now

577
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:32,680
is that the former courts,
which were on a place called

578
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:34,200
worple road, could not cope

579
00:25:34,280 --> 00:25:36,400
with the number of fans
who came to see her. Wow.

580
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:41,440
I know. She's amazing. And then
tanned skin became all the rage.

581
00:25:41,520 --> 00:25:43,840
Right, now, I want you to
imagine you're all at sea.

582
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:46,160
Would you prefer the
screw or the paddle?

583
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:47,560
Who's on the boat?

584
00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:54,320
Screw. You're going to go for
screw. Yeah. I'll take the paddle.

585
00:25:54,400 --> 00:25:56,480
You'll take the paddle.
Yeah. Screw is correct.

586
00:25:56,560 --> 00:26:00,120
So, we are talking about ships.
After the napoleonic wars, britain

587
00:26:00,200 --> 00:26:04,120
was, I mean, undoubtedly the
world's foremost naval superpower.

588
00:26:04,200 --> 00:26:06,960
But you're still talking about
wooden ships propelled by sails.

589
00:26:07,040 --> 00:26:11,680
And then passenger ships began to
move towards steel and they began

590
00:26:11,760 --> 00:26:13,120
to move towards
being steamships.

591
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:15,160
And the Navy soon followed,
and the question was,

592
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:17,640
which was going to be the
best for these boats - was it going

593
00:26:17,720 --> 00:26:20,120
to be the paddle on either
side or the screw propellers?

594
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:21,680
So they had a tug of war -

595
00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:26,400
I love this - between two virtually
identical ships - hms rattler -

596
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:29,520
which had a propeller - and
hms alecto - which, as you can see

597
00:26:29,600 --> 00:26:33,160
on the right there, had a
pair of paddle wheels. 1845.

598
00:26:33,240 --> 00:26:36,120
They tied them together with
a rope, they set to full power.

599
00:26:36,200 --> 00:26:38,280
No contest. Absolutely none.

600
00:26:38,360 --> 00:26:40,480
The rattler - boom, backwards.

601
00:26:40,560 --> 00:26:45,320
Wow. She pulled alecto at 2.7
knots and the screw propeller

602
00:26:45,400 --> 00:26:47,600
after that tug-of-war
became the standard way

603
00:26:47,680 --> 00:26:49,360
to propel naval ships.

604
00:26:49,440 --> 00:26:51,520
In fact, you can see
the propeller itself -

605
00:26:51,600 --> 00:26:53,040
if you're a geek like myself -

606
00:26:53,120 --> 00:26:56,520
on display at the ss Great
Britain museum in Bristol.

607
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,120
And so then they started doing
the same with electric trains

608
00:26:59,200 --> 00:27:01,520
and steam trains - having
tug-of-war competitions to see

609
00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:02,680
which was better.

610
00:27:02,760 --> 00:27:05,720
Which do you think's better -
electric train or a steam train?

611
00:27:05,800 --> 00:27:07,400
Better in what sense? Stronger.

612
00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:09,920
Oh. It might be a steam train.

613
00:27:10,000 --> 00:27:11,800
I'd like it to be. Could
be an electric train.

614
00:27:11,880 --> 00:27:13,680
You could give the
steam train a head start,

615
00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:16,440
and still you would be
able to pull it backwards.

616
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,360
But a steam train will
always sound better.

617
00:27:18,440 --> 00:27:20,360
Electric trains
are so utilitarian,

618
00:27:20,440 --> 00:27:23,520
whereas steam trains are
chicka-chicka, chicka-chicka.

619
00:27:23,600 --> 00:27:25,400
And you can cook your
breakfast on a shovel.

620
00:27:25,480 --> 00:27:27,960
That's what I always like
about a steam train. You can't do

621
00:27:28,040 --> 00:27:29,840
that on a circuit
board, can you? No.

622
00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:31,520
Do they clean the shovel first?

623
00:27:31,600 --> 00:27:34,040
No, these are working men.

624
00:27:34,120 --> 00:27:37,160
They'll eat a sooty egg now
and again. Who cares? Yeah.

625
00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:42,360
Now, where's the one place you're
guaranteed not to meet a shark?

626
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:44,000
Claire's accessories.

627
00:27:47,200 --> 00:27:49,720
That's a horrible picture,
isn't it? I'm just looking.

628
00:27:49,800 --> 00:27:51,200
Oh, it's jumping into a shark.

629
00:27:51,280 --> 00:27:52,680
What a way to die.
Look at his arm.

630
00:27:52,760 --> 00:27:53,920
He's just had his covid jab.

631
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:55,520
It's not fair, is it?

632
00:27:55,600 --> 00:27:57,880
I'm free...! Munch

633
00:27:59,640 --> 00:28:02,720
ok, so there is a particular type of
shark. Where would you not expect

634
00:28:02,800 --> 00:28:05,640
it? You would not expect it in
Claire's accessories. Dry land.

635
00:28:05,720 --> 00:28:07,920
You would not
expect it on dry land.

636
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,160
Well, there is a particular shark
known as the epaulette shark.

637
00:28:11,240 --> 00:28:14,040
Its real name is hemiscyllium
ocellatum and it's named

638
00:28:14,120 --> 00:28:17,320
because if you look on the
shoulder it looks like it's almost got

639
00:28:17,400 --> 00:28:20,040
a military epaulette. And that
can get out, can it, and walk about?

640
00:28:20,080 --> 00:28:22,480
Well, you find them off the
coast of Australia, you find them

641
00:28:22,520 --> 00:28:26,720
off the coast of new Guinea, but
you also find them on the coast.

642
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:30,200
They're about two, three
foot long and they use their tail

643
00:28:30,280 --> 00:28:33,240
and their pectoral fins to
shimmy along the seabed.

644
00:28:33,320 --> 00:28:36,200
So have a look at them underwater
and see them moving along.

645
00:28:36,280 --> 00:28:39,200
I think it's just
very slightly creepy.

646
00:28:39,280 --> 00:28:42,720
Oh. Doo doo doo-doo
doo-doo. Isn't it weird?

647
00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:45,920
They don't come out of
the water, do they? Yes.

648
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:50,840
So they are also able to crawl
out of water and over the sand

649
00:28:50,920 --> 00:28:52,720
to access tidal pools.

650
00:28:52,800 --> 00:28:56,440
So this is an epaulette
shark walking on land.

651
00:28:56,520 --> 00:28:59,800
Oh, you wouldn't want that
coming at you. Would you? No!

652
00:28:59,880 --> 00:29:01,256
How far can they
come up the beach?

653
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:03,216
Are they going to like,
get in your car and stuff?

654
00:29:03,240 --> 00:29:06,600
Yes, there's nothing they like
better than to drive a hire car.

655
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:11,640
And suddenly they speed
down to the water's edge

656
00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:14,480
and 20 more of them get in.

657
00:29:14,560 --> 00:29:18,200
"Come on, boys!" A few doughnuts
and then bugger off into the town.

658
00:29:18,280 --> 00:29:21,040
No, they don't go that far because
they want tidal pools, so they eat

659
00:29:21,120 --> 00:29:23,000
worms and small
fish and crustaceans.

660
00:29:23,080 --> 00:29:25,120
They find them by shoving
their heads into the sand,

661
00:29:25,200 --> 00:29:27,240
and then they filter the
food out through the gills.

662
00:29:27,320 --> 00:29:28,320
Oh, what are they like?!

663
00:29:28,360 --> 00:29:32,720
The result is they can become
stranded in rock pools overnight,

664
00:29:32,800 --> 00:29:37,280
but they can withstand severe
oxygen deprivation by basically putting

665
00:29:37,360 --> 00:29:38,800
the body into a standby mode.

666
00:29:38,880 --> 00:29:41,240
The good thing is, darling,
if one came towards you

667
00:29:41,320 --> 00:29:43,160
they have very little
interest in humans.

668
00:29:43,240 --> 00:29:44,560
And they didn't look very big.

669
00:29:44,640 --> 00:29:46,400
No. You could just
punch one in the face.

670
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:49,280
Yeah, they might give you a little
nip if you accidentally trod on one,

671
00:29:49,320 --> 00:29:50,320
but so would I.

672
00:29:50,360 --> 00:29:53,080
The place you're definitely
going to find a shark -

673
00:29:53,160 --> 00:29:56,960
there's an area of the pacific ocean
called the great white shark cafe.

674
00:29:57,040 --> 00:29:58,640
You don't like sharks?

675
00:29:58,720 --> 00:30:01,080
I love sharks, but it's
still scary. It is quite scary.

676
00:30:01,160 --> 00:30:04,280
2002, scientists at Stanford
university found out that sharks

677
00:30:04,360 --> 00:30:06,760
go to this particular
spot in the pacific ocean.

678
00:30:06,840 --> 00:30:08,360
They go there every single year.

679
00:30:08,440 --> 00:30:11,480
Nobody could work out why. It
seemed to be a sort of virtual desert

680
00:30:11,560 --> 00:30:13,280
as far as shark
food was concerned.

681
00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:16,680
And it turns out that there is
food there, but it is much deeper

682
00:30:16,760 --> 00:30:18,400
than our satellites can see.

683
00:30:18,480 --> 00:30:22,960
And these light-sensitive animals,
things like squid and phytoplankton,

684
00:30:23,040 --> 00:30:25,680
small fish, they live in an
area just below where the light

685
00:30:25,760 --> 00:30:26,760
can penetrate.

686
00:30:26,800 --> 00:30:30,520
And a scientist at monterey bay
aquarium, Salvador jorgensen,

687
00:30:30,600 --> 00:30:34,480
says it's the largest
migration of animals on earth,

688
00:30:34,560 --> 00:30:37,680
but it's a vertical migration
that's timed with the light cycle,

689
00:30:37,760 --> 00:30:40,400
and we didn't even know
it was happening. Oh, wow.

690
00:30:40,480 --> 00:30:42,040
I know. It's amazing.

691
00:30:42,120 --> 00:30:44,960
To point out one further place
that you are likely to find sharks,

692
00:30:45,040 --> 00:30:49,200
this is alongside bikini
pageants in trashy movies.

693
00:30:49,280 --> 00:30:52,800
Ok, this is a much understudied
phenomena, right? Oh, yeah.

694
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:55,440
Super shark, ok, as an example.

695
00:30:55,520 --> 00:31:00,040
"An offshore drilling accident
releases a giant primordial

696
00:31:00,120 --> 00:31:03,800
"shark threatening to turn a
bikini contest into a bloodbath."

697
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:08,800
It has that fantastic strap line,
"bikinis, bullets and big bites."

698
00:31:11,680 --> 00:31:14,480
Before we all start laughing,
this was my directorial debut.

699
00:31:14,560 --> 00:31:16,440
I had a lot to learn. Yes.

700
00:31:19,240 --> 00:31:21,080
Can you see on this
picture there are bikinis,

701
00:31:21,160 --> 00:31:24,240
but they're behind the
shark? Like, they are there.

702
00:31:24,320 --> 00:31:28,080
And then there's avalanche
sharks, which was made in 2013.

703
00:31:28,160 --> 00:31:33,400
A major avalanche on a ski resort
wakes a prehistoric snow shark

704
00:31:33,480 --> 00:31:35,840
that was buried
deep under the snow,

705
00:31:35,920 --> 00:31:38,560
threatening a
bikini competition.

706
00:31:40,720 --> 00:31:43,800
Ok. Both of these films, if
you're thinking of watching them,

707
00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:46,160
incidentally, are
rated as one-star.

708
00:31:47,960 --> 00:31:50,840
Out of 1,000 stars.

709
00:31:52,640 --> 00:31:57,160
Has anybody ever seen a shark
and bikini movie in that genre?

710
00:31:57,240 --> 00:32:01,240
I've seen one where the sharks
have learnt to come onto the land, so...

711
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:03,200
I think it's called sand sharks.

712
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:07,480
They swim under the sand
and then leap up and kill mainly

713
00:32:07,560 --> 00:32:08,760
women in bikinis.

714
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:11,720
Dramatic music

715
00:32:11,800 --> 00:32:13,400
waves lap

716
00:32:14,960 --> 00:32:16,520
hang on a second.

717
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:23,120
What's that over
there in the water

718
00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:25,560
circling ominously?

719
00:32:25,640 --> 00:32:27,680
Oh, my god, it's...

720
00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,640
It's general ignorance.
Fingers on buzzers, please.

721
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:37,560
Applause

722
00:32:37,640 --> 00:32:38,976
I've said it a lot
over the years.

723
00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:40,760
I just thought I'd make
it a bit more exotic.

724
00:32:40,800 --> 00:32:44,360
What's this puffed-up
puffer fish full of?

725
00:32:46,280 --> 00:32:49,360
Poison. It is full of
poison. What else?

726
00:32:49,440 --> 00:32:50,480
Is it sea water, sandi?

727
00:32:50,560 --> 00:32:52,400
Is it sea water? Yes, it is.

728
00:32:52,480 --> 00:32:54,960
They inflate themselves by
swallowing water from around them

729
00:32:55,040 --> 00:32:56,680
into their stomach,
which inflates them.

730
00:32:56,760 --> 00:32:58,760
Bit like me when
I learned to swim.

731
00:32:58,840 --> 00:33:01,200
Look at its eye - its
eye and its mouth -

732
00:33:01,280 --> 00:33:03,200
and then what's
happened to the rest of it?

733
00:33:03,280 --> 00:33:04,720
I think it's lost
its arms and legs.

734
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:08,720
It's completely evolutionised
down to really the basics.

735
00:33:08,800 --> 00:33:11,200
It's really saying, "go
away. I'm terribly frightening."

736
00:33:11,280 --> 00:33:14,040
"You should have seen me a
million years ago. I was amazing.

737
00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:15,400
"This is all that's left."

738
00:33:15,480 --> 00:33:19,160
It's got no rib cage... amazing.
..And it's got elastic skin.

739
00:33:19,240 --> 00:33:21,280
And when they let
themselves go, do they go...

740
00:33:23,200 --> 00:33:26,920
They fly backwards
through the ocean.

741
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:28,600
Go!

742
00:33:28,680 --> 00:33:32,520
And then they're just a tiny... Like
an old sock with a massive eye.

743
00:33:32,600 --> 00:33:37,000
Why would you have
to burp a pufferfish?

744
00:33:38,200 --> 00:33:42,080
Burp it, as in, like, a
baby or...? Yeah, like that.

745
00:33:42,160 --> 00:33:44,040
Oh, to show it you care.

746
00:33:44,120 --> 00:33:48,120
So, if they inhale while they're
out of water, they can get air in

747
00:33:48,200 --> 00:33:51,240
and they can't get rid of it
themselves and they'll be stranded

748
00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,360
floating upside
down. So, for example,

749
00:33:53,440 --> 00:33:56,200
if you're trying to get them
from one tank to another,

750
00:33:56,280 --> 00:33:58,000
for a brief moment
they're out of the water,

751
00:33:58,080 --> 00:34:00,280
they may get air in their system

752
00:34:00,360 --> 00:34:02,200
and you have to help
them or they'll die.

753
00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:05,360
So you have to burp the pufferfish
and basically you have to hold

754
00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:09,920
its head underwater and then
just gently squeeze the stomach.

755
00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,240
You could put it under
your colleague's pillow

756
00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:14,120
on his seat as a prank.

757
00:34:14,200 --> 00:34:15,960
Nature's whoopee cushion.

758
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:18,920
I love that. You said poison,
did you not, sindhu? Yeah.

759
00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:21,920
Famously contains an
extremely potent tetrodotoxin.

760
00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,680
It is the second most poisonous
vertebrate on the planet, second

761
00:34:24,760 --> 00:34:26,480
only to the poison dart frog.

762
00:34:26,560 --> 00:34:29,240
And sharks are the only creatures
that are immune to their toxin,

763
00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:31,160
so a shark can eat one whole.

764
00:34:31,240 --> 00:34:32,400
Anyway, it's not the fish

765
00:34:32,480 --> 00:34:35,680
that produces this poison - it's
the bacteria that lives inside it.

766
00:34:35,760 --> 00:34:39,000
And rather famously, the Japanese
delicacy, which is called fugu,

767
00:34:39,080 --> 00:34:42,800
requires specialist preparation
to render the pufferfish safe

768
00:34:42,880 --> 00:34:46,680
and, as a consequence, because it
hospitalises about 50 people a year,

769
00:34:46,760 --> 00:34:49,120
the Japanese emperor
is banned from eating it.

770
00:34:49,200 --> 00:34:51,280
About a half dozen
people die in a typical year.

771
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:53,640
I think it'd be quite
easy just not to eat it.

772
00:34:53,720 --> 00:34:57,000
Just not have it. Yeah. I've
never tried it. I believe it's delicious.

773
00:34:57,080 --> 00:35:01,400
And apparently they did try and
make some non-poisonous pufferfish

774
00:35:01,480 --> 00:35:04,200
by breeding them without
the bacteria being present,

775
00:35:04,280 --> 00:35:05,680
but it just didn't
taste the same.

776
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:07,160
Isn't that the strangest thing?

777
00:35:07,240 --> 00:35:08,720
And you have to be careful.

778
00:35:08,800 --> 00:35:11,160
It's found in the liver, the
ovaries, the eyes and the skin.

779
00:35:11,200 --> 00:35:13,840
I mean, it's a big
workaround for a chef, isn't it?

780
00:35:13,920 --> 00:35:15,480
You know, delicacies,
what can you say?

781
00:35:15,560 --> 00:35:16,800
I know, right?

782
00:35:16,880 --> 00:35:18,840
What could you drink
if you were shipwrecked

783
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:22,800
on an untouched
Caribbean island?

784
00:35:22,880 --> 00:35:24,200
Yes, ed?

785
00:35:24,280 --> 00:35:25,680
Coconuts.

786
00:35:25,760 --> 00:35:27,400
Klaxon uh-oh.

787
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:32,280
No, why not? Why no?

788
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:35,360
It's untouched, it
has to be touched.

789
00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:36,520
That is correct.

790
00:35:36,600 --> 00:35:39,840
You could not drink coconut milk
or coconut water because coconut

791
00:35:39,920 --> 00:35:41,440
trees, palm trees, are from Asia

792
00:35:41,520 --> 00:35:43,960
and they are not found
naturally in the Caribbean.

793
00:35:44,040 --> 00:35:45,520
It's an invasive species.

794
00:35:45,600 --> 00:35:47,160
It competes with local trees.

795
00:35:47,240 --> 00:35:48,680
They suck up the water.

796
00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:50,880
They don't really provide
much nesting for birds.

797
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:52,040
They damage the soil.

798
00:35:52,120 --> 00:35:55,760
Leaves are not nutritious to native
animals, and although coconuts

799
00:35:55,840 --> 00:35:57,360
can drift from one
island to another

800
00:35:57,440 --> 00:35:58,880
there are no
currents to get them

801
00:35:58,960 --> 00:36:01,440
from the pacific to the
Caribbean without human help.

802
00:36:01,520 --> 00:36:04,840
So it came because it was a
way of taking water on board ships

803
00:36:04,920 --> 00:36:06,720
was to take coconuts with you.

804
00:36:06,800 --> 00:36:10,200
But they are wonderful, coconuts,
because in the one thing you get

805
00:36:10,280 --> 00:36:12,960
this high-calorie food, you get
drinking water, you get a shell

806
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:14,880
that you can turn into
charcoal to cook on,

807
00:36:14,960 --> 00:36:16,800
you get fibre that
you can turn into rope.

808
00:36:16,880 --> 00:36:18,960
You can use the whole
thing to act as a float

809
00:36:19,040 --> 00:36:22,200
if you're in the sea, you know.
You can disguise a bear as a lady.

810
00:36:22,280 --> 00:36:23,520
Yes. Yes.

811
00:36:23,600 --> 00:36:25,320
Horse noises.

812
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:27,840
They are terrific
for horse noises.

813
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:31,000
I mean, for years and years, there
would have been people playing

814
00:36:31,080 --> 00:36:34,480
with coconuts who'd
never seen a horse.

815
00:36:34,560 --> 00:36:36,960
And then one day
horses turn up. Yeah!

816
00:36:37,040 --> 00:36:40,120
They'd say, "these
animals can do

817
00:36:40,200 --> 00:36:42,920
"an amazing impression
of the coconuts."

818
00:36:45,440 --> 00:36:47,360
The mutiny on the bounty,
actually, was triggered

819
00:36:47,400 --> 00:36:50,000
because captain bligh accused
the crew of stealing coconuts.

820
00:36:50,080 --> 00:36:53,000
I mean, they're really
valuable and beautiful things.

821
00:36:53,080 --> 00:36:56,240
Where is the world's
longest mountain range?

822
00:36:57,400 --> 00:36:58,960
It's underwater. Yes.

823
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:02,040
Alan, you used to be
the silly one on this show.

824
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:03,400
Yeah, then you lot turned up.

825
00:37:03,480 --> 00:37:05,320
You never would have
got that series one.

826
00:37:05,400 --> 00:37:08,480
You're absolutely right -
it's the mid-oceanic Ridge.

827
00:37:08,560 --> 00:37:11,440
It's an enormous system
of underwater mountains.

828
00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:12,720
It's pretty much everywhere.

829
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:16,120
If you look at that, it's the
arctic through the Atlantic

830
00:37:16,200 --> 00:37:18,120
to the antarctic, Indian
and pacific oceans,

831
00:37:18,200 --> 00:37:19,440
and that all links up together.

832
00:37:19,520 --> 00:37:21,240
It's about 40,000 miles long.

833
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:23,680
So if you think about one
of the great mountain ranges

834
00:37:23,760 --> 00:37:25,680
that we can see, like the andes,

835
00:37:25,760 --> 00:37:27,560
that's about 4,300 miles.

836
00:37:27,640 --> 00:37:32,160
This is 40,000 miles and it
zigzags across the entire planet.

837
00:37:32,240 --> 00:37:34,720
It looks like the globe's
had a terrible accident.

838
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:37,120
Or a massive railway.

839
00:37:37,200 --> 00:37:39,800
If we could see it, it'd be the
most prominent topographic feature

840
00:37:39,880 --> 00:37:41,120
on the earth's surface.

841
00:37:41,200 --> 00:37:44,040
What's really the point, though?

842
00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:47,000
You know what I
mean? Like, why...?

843
00:37:47,080 --> 00:37:49,960
What's the point of an underwater
mountain? Yeah, what's it up to?

844
00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:53,160
Are you not enjoying nature
any more, Lou? No, no.

845
00:37:53,240 --> 00:37:56,200
I just think. Come on,
let's have a look at you.

846
00:37:57,640 --> 00:38:00,200
You pull the plug out - amazing.

847
00:38:00,280 --> 00:38:03,360
So an enormous amount of tectonic
activity happens along this Ridge

848
00:38:03,440 --> 00:38:04,680
that's really important.

849
00:38:04,760 --> 00:38:08,280
There was a woman
oceanographer called Marie tharp.

850
00:38:08,360 --> 00:38:11,480
She was an American, and
she discovered the Ridge.

851
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:13,040
She discovered it in 1952.

852
00:38:13,120 --> 00:38:17,280
Despite not being allowed to go
to sea on any of the expeditions.

853
00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:19,840
Wow. So the Navy
rules were men only,

854
00:38:19,920 --> 00:38:22,960
so what she did was she took
all the measurements that the men

855
00:38:23,040 --> 00:38:26,560
brought back from sea, and
she said - this is her own words -

856
00:38:26,640 --> 00:38:29,880
"I had a blank canvas to fill
with extraordinary possibilities.

857
00:38:29,960 --> 00:38:33,680
"It was a once-in-a-lifetime, a
once-in-the-history-of-the-world

858
00:38:33,760 --> 00:38:36,120
"opportunity for anyone,
but especially for a woman

859
00:38:36,200 --> 00:38:37,600
"in the 1940s."

860
00:38:37,680 --> 00:38:40,680
And every time she mapped out the
measurements, she found this huge

861
00:38:40,760 --> 00:38:42,840
rift in the middle of the ocean.

862
00:38:42,920 --> 00:38:44,840
And all her colleagues
said it was just girl talk

863
00:38:44,920 --> 00:38:47,200
and it was nonsense.
What's the point, basically?

864
00:38:47,280 --> 00:38:50,160
And then they realised that it
was the earth's largest physical

865
00:38:50,240 --> 00:38:53,720
feature, and she did
all this sitting at a desk

866
00:38:53,800 --> 00:38:55,160
and not out at sea.

867
00:38:55,240 --> 00:38:57,440
It is an enormously
important discovery.

868
00:38:57,520 --> 00:39:01,000
We know almost nothing about
the world's biggest mountain range,

869
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,640
but what we do know
we owe to Marie tharp.

870
00:39:03,720 --> 00:39:05,720
Right, step right up.

871
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:08,640
What does this machine test?

872
00:39:08,720 --> 00:39:09,840
Strength.

873
00:39:09,920 --> 00:39:11,480
Klaxon

874
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:18,080
what? Yeah, no. Kinetic energy.

875
00:39:19,480 --> 00:39:21,520
Oh, no, I like that. I don't
know what that is, ed.

876
00:39:21,600 --> 00:39:24,520
He has turned
very clever. He has!

877
00:39:24,600 --> 00:39:27,680
I just said the words, I don't
know what it is. Don't worry.

878
00:39:27,760 --> 00:39:30,640
It's a traditional
fairground or pier attraction.

879
00:39:30,720 --> 00:39:33,680
It's known as the high striker, the
strongman game, strength tester.

880
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:36,800
It's actually a test
of accuracy, ok?

881
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:41,000
The key is to maximise the force
exerted on the mechanism by hitting

882
00:39:41,080 --> 00:39:44,480
the exact centre of the impact
button flatly and squarely

883
00:39:44,560 --> 00:39:46,120
with the mallet.

884
00:39:46,200 --> 00:39:51,320
So there's a website called the
art of manliness, and it recommends

885
00:39:51,400 --> 00:39:55,000
using the same action as
for splitting wood with an axe.

886
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,320
Now, you should have a mallet,

887
00:39:57,400 --> 00:40:00,280
so now what we thought we'd do
is that we'd get you to have a go,

888
00:40:00,360 --> 00:40:03,160
and then we'll add the points
that you gather on the machine

889
00:40:03,240 --> 00:40:05,880
to your score for
the show today.

890
00:40:05,960 --> 00:40:07,320
Ok, who wants to go first?

891
00:40:07,400 --> 00:40:08,680
I'll go first. Ok.

892
00:40:08,760 --> 00:40:10,720
All right. Go and try it out.

893
00:40:10,800 --> 00:40:13,000
Now, it is possible...
This game is not rigged -

894
00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:15,720
the one we're showing you -
but they may have been rigged

895
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:19,120
in the past, so sometimes
they would set it to an easy mode

896
00:40:19,200 --> 00:40:23,000
and somebody weak-looking would
come along and strike the bell with ease.

897
00:40:23,080 --> 00:40:25,760
Right. Whack it, ed. Whack it.

898
00:40:25,840 --> 00:40:27,080
Whoa.

899
00:40:27,160 --> 00:40:29,960
70. Oh, that was 100, surely?

900
00:40:30,040 --> 00:40:31,880
No, it was 70. Ok.

901
00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:33,160
Is it fun?

902
00:40:33,240 --> 00:40:35,760
Not, like, loads of fun.

903
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:37,640
Laughter

904
00:40:40,120 --> 00:40:42,560
right, sindhu, are you going
to have a go? Well done, ed.

905
00:40:42,640 --> 00:40:44,760
Applause

906
00:40:44,840 --> 00:40:47,440
so when they rigged it, they
would set it to easy and some

907
00:40:47,520 --> 00:40:49,760
weak guy would hit the bell,
and then a big, strong bloke

908
00:40:49,800 --> 00:40:52,496
would say, "oh, I could do that if
that weak guy can do it," and then

909
00:40:52,520 --> 00:40:55,200
they'd set it to hard and he'd get,
like, an embarrassing low score.

910
00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:57,616
And then the men would all be
pumped up and want to have a go.

911
00:40:57,640 --> 00:40:58,680
Come on, sindhu!

912
00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:02,440
What did she get?

913
00:41:02,520 --> 00:41:05,400
A generous 50, I'd say. A
50? We're going to say 50.

914
00:41:05,480 --> 00:41:07,800
Well done, darling,
congratulations.

915
00:41:14,600 --> 00:41:15,880
Take a run up.

916
00:41:17,640 --> 00:41:19,400
Shall I?

917
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:21,720
Oh, you missed it completely!

918
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:26,200
You're an actual menace.

919
00:41:28,440 --> 00:41:30,400
Here we go. Super Lou!

920
00:41:30,480 --> 00:41:31,600
Oh.

921
00:41:31,680 --> 00:41:33,640
Again.

922
00:41:33,720 --> 00:41:35,600
That was worse.

923
00:41:35,680 --> 00:41:36,720
No. Ok. Alan?

924
00:41:36,800 --> 00:41:38,760
Add them together.

925
00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:40,600
40.

926
00:41:42,280 --> 00:41:44,280
It couldn't have
been. It wasn't 40.

927
00:41:47,800 --> 00:41:48,920
Ten!

928
00:41:53,720 --> 00:41:55,280
50.60.50.

929
00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:58,160
I'm going to give you
50. Thanks, sandi. So, in...

930
00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:05,280
I don't hit things
professionally.

931
00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:06,696
Oh, go on, give
it a whack, sandi.

932
00:42:06,720 --> 00:42:08,680
It's very satisfying.
Will you hit it for me?

933
00:42:08,760 --> 00:42:10,920
It is very satisfying.
Guy, will you give it a go?

934
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:12,880
Come on, come and do this.

935
00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:17,040
Go on, guy, you've got this.

936
00:42:18,480 --> 00:42:19,640
Come on, guy.

937
00:42:21,040 --> 00:42:22,480
Oh!

938
00:42:34,240 --> 00:42:37,040
Wasn't that great?
That's amazing. Incredible.

939
00:42:37,120 --> 00:42:40,000
Oh, well done, guy, I love that.

940
00:42:40,080 --> 00:42:42,760
Well... I smell a
rat, a stinking rat.

941
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:47,080
Wow. It looks like the sun's going
down, so we better call it a day,

942
00:42:47,160 --> 00:42:50,680
pack up the deck chairs and take
a look at the scores. In last place,

943
00:42:50,760 --> 00:42:53,000
all at sea, it's sindhu with 42.

944
00:42:53,080 --> 00:42:54,360
Applause

945
00:42:56,760 --> 00:42:58,720
next, with 45 points, it's Lou.

946
00:42:58,800 --> 00:42:59,840
Applause

947
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:03,560
with 53 points, it's ed!

948
00:43:03,640 --> 00:43:04,800
Applause

949
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:08,960
with 58 points, it's Alan.

950
00:43:09,040 --> 00:43:11,160
Applause

951
00:43:11,240 --> 00:43:14,920
but taking top prize tonight
with 100 points, its floor manager

952
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,360
extraordinaire guy smart. What?!

953
00:43:17,440 --> 00:43:18,680
Applause

954
00:43:28,160 --> 00:43:31,360
Thank you to sindhu, ed,
Lou and Alan, and I leave you

955
00:43:31,440 --> 00:43:35,720
with this observation by American
motivational speaker Bob moawad.

956
00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:38,600
"You can't leave footprints
in the sands of time

957
00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:42,120
"if you're sitting on your butt,
and who wants to leave butt prints

958
00:43:42,200 --> 00:43:43,680
"in the sands of time?"

959
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:45,160
Goodnight.

960
00:43:45,240 --> 00:43:46,880
Seagulls squawk