1 00:00:02,311 --> 00:00:09,351 This programme contains some strong language. 2 00:00:31,871 --> 00:00:35,551 Good evening and welcome to the QI souvenir programme. 3 00:00:35,551 --> 00:00:37,471 Tonight, we have a seasonal salad 4 00:00:37,471 --> 00:00:39,711 of S-themed silliness for you to savour. 5 00:00:39,711 --> 00:00:42,831 So sit back and settle down for your first clip. 6 00:00:42,831 --> 00:00:45,231 This, you're going to love. 7 00:00:45,231 --> 00:00:48,511 The Chihuahuan hook-nosed snake farts 8 00:00:48,511 --> 00:00:51,111 defensively when it is threatened. 9 00:00:51,111 --> 00:00:55,032 It's technically called cloacal popping, OK? 10 00:00:55,032 --> 00:00:57,632 So they expel air from their cloaca. 11 00:00:57,632 --> 00:00:59,912 They have one hole for reproduction, 12 00:00:59,912 --> 00:01:01,792 for digestion, so it's all just one hole 13 00:01:01,792 --> 00:01:03,872 at the bottom and it makes an audible noise. 14 00:01:03,872 --> 00:01:06,352 And sometimes they do it so aggressively, this farting, 15 00:01:06,352 --> 00:01:08,272 that it lifts them into the air. 16 00:01:08,272 --> 00:01:11,352 Oh, wow. I've dated people like that, it's awful. 17 00:01:11,352 --> 00:01:13,192 That's a talent, isn't it? 18 00:01:13,192 --> 00:01:16,712 Isn't that a skill, to be able to lift yourself up with your fart? 19 00:01:16,712 --> 00:01:19,592 Is it true that - talking about a snake's genitals - 20 00:01:19,592 --> 00:01:22,312 is it true that a male snake has two penises or penii? 21 00:01:22,312 --> 00:01:25,232 I just thought I'd throw that out. Which would you...? 22 00:01:25,232 --> 00:01:28,672 Which would you prefer? Two heads or two penises? Two penises. OK. 23 00:01:28,672 --> 00:01:30,112 What about you? Two penises. 24 00:01:31,952 --> 00:01:33,152 Is that a thing, or...? 25 00:01:33,152 --> 00:01:34,592 Not next to one another. 26 00:01:34,592 --> 00:01:37,152 I'd have one in the regular place, 27 00:01:37,152 --> 00:01:39,632 and one on one hand - on my left hand. 28 00:01:39,632 --> 00:01:42,712 Instead of a finger. Instead of a finger. I'd always wear a glove. 29 00:01:42,712 --> 00:01:43,752 Yeah. 30 00:01:43,752 --> 00:01:47,152 "Why do you wear a glove?" "Because I've got a cock hand." 31 00:01:48,632 --> 00:01:50,272 I think I'd have four other fingers, 32 00:01:50,272 --> 00:01:52,272 I don't think I'd just have the cock. No, no. 33 00:01:52,272 --> 00:01:54,752 Pull the glove off. Yeah. 34 00:01:54,752 --> 00:01:57,072 You wouldn't want to look weird, would you? No. 35 00:01:57,072 --> 00:01:59,152 Do you think it would always be like that, or 36 00:01:59,152 --> 00:02:02,072 would it sometimes be like that? Sometimes be like that. OK. 37 00:02:02,072 --> 00:02:06,232 Awkward, though, wouldn't it, when you couldn't stop your finger? 38 00:02:06,232 --> 00:02:07,472 Like an umpire. 39 00:02:09,632 --> 00:02:11,152 I'm sorry I brought it up, Sandi. 40 00:02:11,152 --> 00:02:13,472 Whereas a second head, what is the point of that? 41 00:02:13,472 --> 00:02:16,152 Well, you wouldn't be lonely. Oh, yeah. You could chat. 42 00:02:16,152 --> 00:02:17,672 Talk amongst yourself. Yeah. 43 00:02:17,672 --> 00:02:19,752 Would we have different personalities? 44 00:02:19,752 --> 00:02:23,392 Oh, it would be like one Leave, one Remain. Yes. 45 00:02:23,392 --> 00:02:26,712 You'd have an anti-vaxxer on your... 46 00:02:26,712 --> 00:02:28,272 I want to taste your every move. 47 00:02:30,152 --> 00:02:31,312 It's all a hoax. 48 00:02:32,512 --> 00:02:34,393 If you had two penises, 49 00:02:34,393 --> 00:02:37,193 if you did, it would be a pair of hemipenes. 50 00:02:37,193 --> 00:02:38,873 Is there anyone that has more than two? 51 00:02:38,873 --> 00:02:40,193 Phillip Schofield. 52 00:02:44,993 --> 00:02:48,153 So slapstick is often cited as one of the earliest special effects, 53 00:02:48,153 --> 00:02:49,753 and there is an even earlier one, 54 00:02:49,753 --> 00:02:52,793 and I love this - was invented by a playwright called John Dennis. 55 00:02:52,793 --> 00:02:56,633 So 1709, he staged his own play called Appius And Virginia. 56 00:02:56,633 --> 00:02:59,313 It doesn't sound very good. It was a tragedy set in ancient Rome. 57 00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:01,273 Nobody liked it, but what they really liked 58 00:03:01,273 --> 00:03:03,633 was his new thunder machine. It was amazing. 59 00:03:03,633 --> 00:03:06,393 It generated these really realistic sound effects, 60 00:03:06,393 --> 00:03:07,913 for stormy scenes. Anyway, 61 00:03:07,913 --> 00:03:10,553 the play did not do very well, and it closed after a few nights 62 00:03:10,553 --> 00:03:12,913 and was replaced by Macbeth. 63 00:03:12,913 --> 00:03:16,193 And when Dennis, the playwright, turned up to watch the Macbeth 64 00:03:16,193 --> 00:03:18,353 production, he was outraged to hear 65 00:03:18,353 --> 00:03:21,233 his very distinctive sound effect being used. 66 00:03:21,233 --> 00:03:25,193 They had literally stolen his thunder. 67 00:03:25,193 --> 00:03:27,033 That is where we get... 68 00:03:27,033 --> 00:03:29,793 Is that steal my thunder? Oh, there you go. It's great. 69 00:03:29,793 --> 00:03:32,113 And was it...? The thunder, was it because they used 70 00:03:32,113 --> 00:03:34,073 a sheet of metal? They used sheets of metal, 71 00:03:34,073 --> 00:03:36,033 but there was also a thing called a thunder run, 72 00:03:36,033 --> 00:03:37,233 which I wish they still had. 73 00:03:37,233 --> 00:03:40,793 They used to make a pipe set into the wall of some theatres, 74 00:03:40,793 --> 00:03:42,953 so it would start very high up, sort of in the gods, 75 00:03:42,953 --> 00:03:45,353 and it would wrap its way round the building and you dropped 76 00:03:45,353 --> 00:03:47,073 a cannonball into it and it would rumble. 77 00:03:47,073 --> 00:03:48,913 So you could... Almost as if you could hear 78 00:03:48,913 --> 00:03:51,673 the thunder going all the way around the building. 79 00:03:51,673 --> 00:03:53,393 Cool. That is cool, isn't it? Clever. 80 00:03:53,393 --> 00:03:56,353 It would be annoying to start it at the wrong time, wouldn't it? 81 00:03:56,353 --> 00:03:58,713 "Romeo, Romeo, wherefore... 82 00:03:58,713 --> 00:04:00,233 "Oh, dear." "Oh, no." 83 00:04:01,593 --> 00:04:03,473 How could you make yourself understood 84 00:04:03,473 --> 00:04:05,633 in another country without any words at all? 85 00:04:05,633 --> 00:04:08,553 Pointing and shouting in English? Shouting in English very loud. 86 00:04:08,553 --> 00:04:11,873 In 2019 researchers at the University of California 87 00:04:11,873 --> 00:04:14,673 in Berkeley asked 50 people to vocalise certain feelings, 88 00:04:14,673 --> 00:04:17,394 and then they asked more than a thousand people to explain 89 00:04:17,394 --> 00:04:18,834 what it was that they'd heard. 90 00:04:18,834 --> 00:04:22,914 And it gave us a map of 24 distinct human emotions 91 00:04:22,914 --> 00:04:25,994 which can be conveyed without words. So what we're going to do - 92 00:04:25,994 --> 00:04:29,074 each panellist has got a couple of emotions we want you to convey 93 00:04:29,074 --> 00:04:32,634 without words and see if anybody can work out which ones they're doing. 94 00:04:32,634 --> 00:04:35,434 Chris, I believe that you have been told yours in advance. 95 00:04:35,434 --> 00:04:38,074 I have. With no words, then - two emotions. 96 00:04:38,074 --> 00:04:39,954 HE GROWLS 97 00:04:39,954 --> 00:04:42,394 Anger, frustration. Anger. 98 00:04:42,394 --> 00:04:43,714 And the other one. 99 00:04:43,714 --> 00:04:46,114 HE VOCALISES 100 00:04:46,114 --> 00:04:50,874 Oh, the first one was a home defeat for Liverpool, and the second 101 00:04:50,874 --> 00:04:52,274 was a draw. 102 00:04:54,314 --> 00:04:58,434 Obviously, I'm miles off the money with this one, aren't I? 103 00:04:58,434 --> 00:05:00,714 Hmm. 104 00:05:00,714 --> 00:05:01,834 You quite like it. 105 00:05:01,834 --> 00:05:03,354 Yeah. Mild approval. 106 00:05:03,354 --> 00:05:06,674 Is that an emotion? Amusement. 107 00:05:06,674 --> 00:05:08,354 Oh, no, you need to do a little... 108 00:05:08,354 --> 00:05:09,674 HIGH-PITCHED SQUEAK 109 00:05:09,674 --> 00:05:13,834 Have you got a card with yours on? Have you been told what they are? 110 00:05:13,834 --> 00:05:16,674 Are we doing them sequentially or...? I'm going to conflate the two. 111 00:05:16,674 --> 00:05:18,594 I mean, I'd do them both together, if you can. 112 00:05:18,594 --> 00:05:19,794 "Ohh-mm." 113 00:05:19,794 --> 00:05:21,674 "Ohh-mm." 114 00:05:21,674 --> 00:05:24,954 "Ohh-mm." 115 00:05:24,954 --> 00:05:27,434 "Ohh-mm." 116 00:05:27,434 --> 00:05:29,674 Where's Frankie Howard? 117 00:05:30,834 --> 00:05:32,474 Constipated and aroused. 118 00:05:32,474 --> 00:05:35,554 The aroused thing is heading 119 00:05:35,554 --> 00:05:37,234 in the right direction. 120 00:05:37,234 --> 00:05:42,114 Oh, I don't know, it's upsetting when you get eye contact with me. 121 00:05:43,154 --> 00:05:44,314 He was doing desire 122 00:05:44,314 --> 00:05:46,234 and negative surprise. 123 00:05:46,234 --> 00:05:49,154 Right, Jen? You've got two? I'm going to do them separately. 124 00:05:49,154 --> 00:05:51,794 I'm not going to conflate. Because that didn't work, did it? 125 00:05:51,794 --> 00:05:54,834 Right, here we go. 126 00:05:54,834 --> 00:05:56,994 First one. 127 00:05:56,994 --> 00:05:58,154 LOW-PITCHED GROAN 128 00:06:00,075 --> 00:06:01,955 Is Wallace or Gromit an emotion? 129 00:06:01,955 --> 00:06:06,635 Actually, you appear to be swallowing a Brussels sprout. 130 00:06:06,635 --> 00:06:08,155 No, I'll do it again. 131 00:06:09,715 --> 00:06:11,515 LOW-PITCHED GROAN 132 00:06:11,515 --> 00:06:15,835 You've made a terrible mistake. 133 00:06:15,835 --> 00:06:17,155 Close, close! Close. 134 00:06:17,155 --> 00:06:18,395 It's embarrassment. 135 00:06:18,395 --> 00:06:21,155 Yeah. Second one. 136 00:06:21,155 --> 00:06:23,435 Here we go. This one you'll definitely get. 137 00:06:23,435 --> 00:06:25,155 Huh? 138 00:06:25,155 --> 00:06:28,435 Confusion. Yes, confusion is exactly right. 139 00:06:28,435 --> 00:06:30,915 Very well done. Alan? 140 00:06:30,915 --> 00:06:32,715 I've got... OK. 141 00:06:39,555 --> 00:06:40,675 Urrgh! 142 00:06:43,075 --> 00:06:44,835 Urrgh! Uh! 143 00:06:44,835 --> 00:06:46,155 Disgust? 144 00:06:46,155 --> 00:06:49,155 Yes, yes! 145 00:06:50,955 --> 00:06:53,995 I haven't been cast in anything for five years! 146 00:06:53,995 --> 00:06:55,355 This is all you need. 147 00:06:55,355 --> 00:06:58,955 This is the moment I can make a comeback! 148 00:06:58,955 --> 00:07:00,555 This is your moment, Alan. 149 00:07:00,555 --> 00:07:03,075 Right, one more, Alan. OK, here we go. 150 00:07:03,075 --> 00:07:05,275 Ohhh-uuuh. 151 00:07:05,275 --> 00:07:07,075 Ecstasy. 152 00:07:07,075 --> 00:07:08,915 Yes! Oh, my goodness. 153 00:07:11,875 --> 00:07:13,155 Are you guys a couple? 154 00:07:15,715 --> 00:07:18,035 In another life, Jimmy. Definitely. 155 00:07:18,035 --> 00:07:21,475 Would anybody, if you found a snail in your garden, would you throw 156 00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:23,995 it into the neighbour's garden? Yeah, we... Yeah, we had just 157 00:07:23,995 --> 00:07:25,475 so many snails, last summer, 158 00:07:25,475 --> 00:07:29,315 the gardener turned up, and... The gardener? 159 00:07:29,315 --> 00:07:31,315 It's a middle-class story. 160 00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:36,595 "Spent all day chatting to the cook, doing no work." 161 00:07:41,436 --> 00:07:45,076 He said he's never seen snails like it. Anyway, I wish I hadn't brought 162 00:07:45,076 --> 00:07:47,036 him up. He's not even a part of the story. 163 00:07:47,036 --> 00:07:49,156 He is now. Anyway, 164 00:07:49,156 --> 00:07:51,396 I got this organic thing because I felt bad, 165 00:07:51,396 --> 00:07:52,956 but, um... 166 00:07:52,956 --> 00:07:55,236 It said... I put it down and it said the snail... 167 00:07:55,236 --> 00:07:57,796 Don't worry, it's totally fine - 168 00:07:57,796 --> 00:08:00,596 snails eat it and then they just burrow underground. 169 00:08:00,596 --> 00:08:02,756 Right. And die. Well, they didn't mention that, 170 00:08:02,756 --> 00:08:04,756 but I presume that's what happened. Yeah. 171 00:08:04,756 --> 00:08:07,156 Yeah. It's like a vegetarian's way of getting rid of animals. 172 00:08:07,156 --> 00:08:09,636 Yeah. Why didn't you just put, like... I was going to say salt, 173 00:08:09,636 --> 00:08:11,676 but Himalayan pink sea salt? 174 00:08:11,676 --> 00:08:14,356 Yeah. Yes. It's more... I was going to say 175 00:08:14,356 --> 00:08:17,356 normal table salt. But I know you'll go out there and... 176 00:08:20,316 --> 00:08:21,956 With a grinder. 177 00:08:23,476 --> 00:08:24,756 "Josh, don't waste the salt!" 178 00:08:24,756 --> 00:08:26,596 "I have to, darling." 179 00:08:26,596 --> 00:08:28,716 He'd have got the cook to do that. 180 00:08:28,716 --> 00:08:30,196 That's right, yeah. 181 00:08:32,996 --> 00:08:35,756 Brussels sprouts are another Christmas dinner staple, 182 00:08:35,756 --> 00:08:38,836 but is there any way to make them bearable? 183 00:08:38,836 --> 00:08:43,476 Well, my friend's family, they play fart tennis at Christmas. 184 00:08:45,756 --> 00:08:47,996 So you eat as many sprouts as you can 185 00:08:47,996 --> 00:08:50,276 and you have one side of the table against the other side 186 00:08:50,276 --> 00:08:52,956 of the table scoring fart for fart. 187 00:08:52,956 --> 00:08:55,716 But you don't do it with an actual ball, no? It's just... No. 188 00:08:55,716 --> 00:08:58,516 You do it with the fart. So, 15 love! 189 00:08:58,516 --> 00:09:01,196 I like the idea that the fart was so powerful it could propel 190 00:09:01,196 --> 00:09:04,396 the ball across the table. That would be good. Yes. 191 00:09:04,396 --> 00:09:07,276 You have some sprouts. Do we? Yeah. 192 00:09:07,276 --> 00:09:08,876 You have some sprouts in a tin. 193 00:09:08,876 --> 00:09:10,996 Oh, Auntie Sandi! I know. 194 00:09:10,996 --> 00:09:13,476 Oh! Look at that! 195 00:09:13,476 --> 00:09:16,556 So open up your Brussels sprouts, and then you also have a glass 196 00:09:16,556 --> 00:09:18,316 of red wine. 197 00:09:18,316 --> 00:09:21,916 What scientists have discovered is that Brussels sprouts taste 198 00:09:21,916 --> 00:09:27,077 less bitter if you take a sip of red wine between each mouthful. 199 00:09:27,077 --> 00:09:29,237 OK? Have a sip of red wine 200 00:09:29,237 --> 00:09:31,557 and then... Well, I might do one as a tester. 201 00:09:31,557 --> 00:09:34,557 OK, fine, do that. What, to see if it tastes 202 00:09:34,557 --> 00:09:37,237 disgusting and then it's better with the red wine? 203 00:09:37,237 --> 00:09:39,117 OK. Then... Fucking hell! 204 00:09:47,197 --> 00:09:50,917 So the astringency of the red wine - so the rough, dry mouthfeel 205 00:09:50,917 --> 00:09:53,957 that you get when you drink it - it's possible it stops your saliva 206 00:09:53,957 --> 00:09:57,477 being able to pass the bitter taste to your taste buds, 207 00:09:57,477 --> 00:10:00,357 or you just get piddly-pom. Does it work with the red? 208 00:10:00,357 --> 00:10:04,637 The red wine is working. Is it working? Yes. 209 00:10:04,637 --> 00:10:06,797 It'll be 15-love in a minute. 210 00:10:10,277 --> 00:10:13,357 We will win, my friend, we will win. We're going to murder 'em! 211 00:10:14,757 --> 00:10:17,317 Actually, about a third of the world's population speak 212 00:10:17,317 --> 00:10:20,917 a gendered language where inanimate objects are male or female. 213 00:10:20,917 --> 00:10:23,397 I really love that. Do you? Yeah. I think it influences 214 00:10:23,397 --> 00:10:25,757 how people think about the thing they're talking about. 215 00:10:25,757 --> 00:10:27,477 And it makes you think of them as like nice 216 00:10:27,477 --> 00:10:29,677 gentlemen and ladies. 217 00:10:29,677 --> 00:10:32,757 Mrs Teapot. Yes. 218 00:10:32,757 --> 00:10:33,997 Or Mr Coat Stand. 219 00:10:35,157 --> 00:10:38,877 A survey of people that owned...you know one of those robotic vacuum cleaners? 220 00:10:38,877 --> 00:10:40,597 I've got one. Is it a boy or a girl? 221 00:10:40,597 --> 00:10:43,677 He's called Victor. He! Two thirds assigned it a gender 222 00:10:43,677 --> 00:10:45,717 and three quarters call him "he". 223 00:10:45,717 --> 00:10:48,157 Do you think it's the legacy of the Henry? 224 00:10:48,157 --> 00:10:53,157 I think it's because he wanders around aimlessly consuming everything he sets his eyes on. 225 00:10:53,157 --> 00:10:55,877 And he sometimes gets stuck in the corner. So, yeah... 226 00:10:57,197 --> 00:11:02,197 So, just like today, medieval holy sites did a roaring trade 227 00:11:02,197 --> 00:11:05,318 in souvenirs, and people brought back badges as tokens 228 00:11:05,318 --> 00:11:08,158 of the journey and they were often in the likeness of saints. 229 00:11:08,158 --> 00:11:11,438 But, sometimes, they were much, much weirder. 230 00:11:11,438 --> 00:11:13,398 And I have a replica here. 231 00:11:13,398 --> 00:11:14,878 Let me show you this one. 232 00:11:14,878 --> 00:11:19,038 This is a replica of a 14th-century 233 00:11:19,038 --> 00:11:22,598 Dutch vagina shooting an arrow on horseback. 234 00:11:22,598 --> 00:11:25,838 You don't often see them do that. You don't, you don't. 235 00:11:29,598 --> 00:11:31,838 I can also offer you... I have here 236 00:11:31,838 --> 00:11:33,718 a phallus, um... 237 00:11:33,718 --> 00:11:36,638 I... A phallus where the... 238 00:11:36,638 --> 00:11:39,638 I don't know if it's a man or a woman pushing a wheelbarrow 239 00:11:39,638 --> 00:11:42,918 of phalluses. Replicas of the various badges. 240 00:11:42,918 --> 00:11:46,078 What else have I got here? I've got a penis on a boat. 241 00:11:46,078 --> 00:11:48,958 I don't know why. Um... 242 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:51,638 I know, but... ALAN: We've all met those. 243 00:11:51,638 --> 00:11:55,478 The guy on the phalluses. 244 00:11:55,478 --> 00:11:58,598 Yes. There, the top one - to the left. 245 00:11:58,598 --> 00:12:02,198 Oh, this one here? Yeah, it looks like he's got a penis puppy farm. 246 00:12:02,198 --> 00:12:05,318 ALAN: It looks like he's carrying fireworks. 247 00:12:08,158 --> 00:12:11,918 They could be like little Monopoly, um... Yeah. 248 00:12:11,918 --> 00:12:14,598 Oh, that was a good idea. 249 00:12:14,598 --> 00:12:17,438 "Do you want to be the penis or the vagina?" 250 00:12:17,438 --> 00:12:20,038 Can I...? "You've not been buying fireworks off that bloke 251 00:12:20,038 --> 00:12:22,118 "with a massive cock, again, have you?!" 252 00:12:23,278 --> 00:12:27,598 Was it ever called a vadge badge? A vadge badge? Yeah, I like that. 253 00:12:27,598 --> 00:12:31,198 Yeah. I think this is something that can be monetised. 254 00:12:31,198 --> 00:12:33,478 I think vadge badge is good. Yeah. 255 00:12:33,478 --> 00:12:37,198 Silent Night's music and lyrics was written in 1818 in the town 256 00:12:37,198 --> 00:12:40,158 of Oberndorf, near Salzburg. It was written by two men 257 00:12:40,158 --> 00:12:42,638 called Joseph Mohr and Franz Gruber. 258 00:12:42,638 --> 00:12:44,718 I'm loving your accent. DEEP VOICE: I know, right? 259 00:12:44,718 --> 00:12:46,918 In 1912, it was decided to make a sculpture of them, 260 00:12:46,918 --> 00:12:50,959 but Joseph Mohr, who had written the lyrics, had never, ever wanted 261 00:12:50,959 --> 00:12:54,519 to have a portrait done of himself, so nobody knew what he looked like. 262 00:12:54,519 --> 00:12:56,679 So they dug his skull up. 263 00:12:56,679 --> 00:12:59,119 Ah! I know! He'd been dead 60 years. 264 00:12:59,119 --> 00:13:02,119 They dug his skull up and based it on that. 265 00:13:02,119 --> 00:13:05,439 It looks like Victor Meldrew being bummed by a guitarist. 266 00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:11,399 Dear Lord! 267 00:13:11,399 --> 00:13:14,439 In 1995, the Reichstag building, which is in Berlin, of course, 268 00:13:14,439 --> 00:13:18,359 was wrapped in 100,000 square metres of silver fabric for two weeks 269 00:13:18,359 --> 00:13:20,719 by two artists called Christo Javacheff 270 00:13:20,719 --> 00:13:22,719 and Jeanne-Claude Denat de Guillebon - 271 00:13:22,719 --> 00:13:24,959 a married couple who worked under the name of Christo. 272 00:13:24,959 --> 00:13:27,439 Can I just say, the building was not in use at the time. 273 00:13:27,439 --> 00:13:29,759 A couple of people in there. Yeah. 274 00:13:29,759 --> 00:13:32,559 "Help!" What was the artist's reason? 275 00:13:32,559 --> 00:13:35,999 They described it as autobiographical, apparently. 276 00:13:35,999 --> 00:13:38,679 There is another thing, in terms of the shrink-wrap effect, 277 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:41,519 which I think is very interesting. Palaeontologists have really 278 00:13:41,519 --> 00:13:44,119 struggled to tell the sex of a dinosaur by its fossils, 279 00:13:44,119 --> 00:13:47,399 because pretty much all the tissue has decayed over the millennia 280 00:13:47,399 --> 00:13:51,479 and so on. When artists specialising in prehistoric animals have drawn 281 00:13:51,479 --> 00:13:53,839 them, they've rather assumed that the skin is tight 282 00:13:53,839 --> 00:13:55,519 on the carcass, OK? 283 00:13:55,519 --> 00:13:57,519 So it gives them this sort of slightly skeletal, 284 00:13:57,519 --> 00:14:01,159 slightly menacing look. If you think about it, there seem to be no fat dinosaurs. Yeah. 285 00:14:01,159 --> 00:14:04,119 And lots of dinosaurs had feathers. Some might have had bulging muscles. 286 00:14:04,119 --> 00:14:07,799 So you get this effect. There's a wonderful book called 287 00:14:07,799 --> 00:14:11,839 All Yesterdays, and it has a look at what we might think modern-day 288 00:14:11,839 --> 00:14:15,199 animals would look like if we only had the skeletons and we did 289 00:14:15,199 --> 00:14:18,519 the sort of shrink-wrap effect. Oh! So have a look at this one. 290 00:14:18,519 --> 00:14:21,359 Would anybody know what that might be? A hippo. It is a hippo, yeah. 291 00:14:21,359 --> 00:14:23,279 Oh, my God. It's fascinating, isn't it? 292 00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:26,799 It's about how we cannot possibly know what things might look like. 293 00:14:26,799 --> 00:14:28,719 Except that does look like a hippo. 294 00:14:32,600 --> 00:14:35,760 In August 2005, the Sun reported that a constellation that looked 295 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:39,120 like Richard Wilson of One Foot In The Grave could be seen by anyone 296 00:14:39,120 --> 00:14:42,320 with a keen eye. But it was actually publicity for Summer Nights Of Gold 297 00:14:42,320 --> 00:14:43,640 on UKTV Gold. 298 00:14:43,640 --> 00:14:45,760 Bet he couldn't believe it. 299 00:14:47,880 --> 00:14:51,800 I love these ones where they're like the face of Jesus found in, 300 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:55,400 you know, apple, or something like that, or a KFC bucket. 301 00:14:55,400 --> 00:14:57,280 Do you know I was one of those? 302 00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:58,960 Someone found your face? 303 00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:00,240 No. 304 00:15:00,240 --> 00:15:03,040 Sunday Sport ran a picture 305 00:15:03,040 --> 00:15:05,760 and a full-page story. Picture of you in the Sunday Sport, Sandi? 306 00:15:05,760 --> 00:15:10,960 Well, no. What it was - they claimed to have found my face 307 00:15:10,960 --> 00:15:12,880 on Meghan Markle's knee. 308 00:15:20,600 --> 00:15:22,120 There you are. 309 00:15:22,120 --> 00:15:24,040 I've never been so pleased. 310 00:15:24,040 --> 00:15:27,160 It's like the Turin Shroud all over again. That's amazing! 311 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:28,720 Who's on her other knee? 312 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,720 I don't know who I'm sharing with. 313 00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:33,800 Alan on the other knee! 314 00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:38,000 There is a human who lives in a sand castle and his name 315 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,120 is Marcio Matolias. 316 00:15:40,120 --> 00:15:43,080 He's also known in Rio de Janeiro as King Marcio. 317 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:45,080 And he's a sand sculptor. 318 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:48,800 He makes his money from tourists and also from a used-book shop, 319 00:15:48,800 --> 00:15:51,800 which he runs from a three-square-metre castle 320 00:15:51,800 --> 00:15:54,120 that has been his home for over 20 years. 321 00:15:54,120 --> 00:15:56,280 And it's made of sand? It's made of sand. 322 00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:58,120 That's his, where he lives. 323 00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:00,320 He lives inside that sand castle. 324 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:01,960 His main problems are the elements. 325 00:16:01,960 --> 00:16:04,680 So his castle can collapse if there's a very heavy storm. 326 00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:07,280 It gets UNBEARABLY hot in the summer. 327 00:16:07,280 --> 00:16:10,600 It's got no toilet. You know, he can't do the...thing. 328 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,281 So he has to go to the fire station if he wants to... 329 00:16:13,281 --> 00:16:15,841 And they're all right with that? Apparently, it costs a dollar 330 00:16:15,841 --> 00:16:18,281 each time he goes! I don't know why. 331 00:16:18,281 --> 00:16:21,001 He's saving a lot on rent, I suppose. 332 00:16:21,001 --> 00:16:23,361 He's lived rent-free for more than 20 years, which is... 333 00:16:23,361 --> 00:16:25,161 Doesn't the sea wash it away? 334 00:16:25,161 --> 00:16:27,921 The trick is to build it above the tide mark. 335 00:16:27,921 --> 00:16:31,361 Right. In a lay-by off the A4. 336 00:16:31,361 --> 00:16:32,961 My favourite childhood memory 337 00:16:32,961 --> 00:16:35,441 was building sand castles with my grandfather - 338 00:16:35,441 --> 00:16:38,241 until my mum took the urn from me. Ho-ho! 339 00:16:42,561 --> 00:16:46,201 Do you know what? I was once the voice of Canesten thrush cream. 340 00:16:46,201 --> 00:16:48,801 Were you?! Yes, they did a radio commercial. 341 00:16:48,801 --> 00:16:51,561 And you were... I was the voice of Cane... 342 00:16:51,561 --> 00:16:54,601 Well, the marketing people had decided that, for the purposes 343 00:16:54,601 --> 00:16:58,201 of this audio-only advert, the Canesten 344 00:16:58,201 --> 00:17:01,641 was going to be a stand-up comedian. 345 00:17:02,681 --> 00:17:05,761 "Have you got an itch? I've got an itch. I went to a bar, I'd got a bit of an itch." 346 00:17:05,761 --> 00:17:08,481 Yeah, it was exactly that. And I thought... 347 00:17:08,481 --> 00:17:10,241 I did a slightly different voice. 348 00:17:10,241 --> 00:17:12,521 "You ever suffer from embarrassing feminine itching? 349 00:17:12,521 --> 00:17:13,881 "I don't know. Do you? Yes." 350 00:17:13,881 --> 00:17:16,321 I thought, well, no-one will ever know, because I've done 351 00:17:16,321 --> 00:17:18,161 a slightly different voice. OK. 352 00:17:18,161 --> 00:17:21,441 Then I got recognised on the Tube by a blind woman. 353 00:17:27,561 --> 00:17:29,641 How can you make your cat smile at you? 354 00:17:29,641 --> 00:17:32,121 Oh, cats! Don't start with cats. 355 00:17:32,121 --> 00:17:34,601 I used to have two, and one would go to the top of the curtains 356 00:17:34,601 --> 00:17:37,401 and the other one would rip the curtains down trying to get it. 357 00:17:37,401 --> 00:17:38,921 That sums them up. 358 00:17:38,921 --> 00:17:40,881 Sums them up! 359 00:17:40,881 --> 00:17:42,881 Jamali, have you got cats or dogs? 360 00:17:42,881 --> 00:17:46,441 I had a dog. Actually, I only had a dog for, like, a week once, 361 00:17:46,441 --> 00:17:48,681 because... It wasn't your dog? Yeah, kind of. 362 00:17:48,681 --> 00:17:50,281 I had this bike 363 00:17:50,281 --> 00:17:53,881 and then a guy said to me, "I want to buy the bike." 364 00:17:53,881 --> 00:17:56,402 He goes, "I'll trade ya." And I go, "What you got?" 365 00:17:56,402 --> 00:17:59,122 And he goes, "I've got nunchuks." So I've got the nunchuks. 366 00:17:59,122 --> 00:18:02,162 And I said, "You've got to chuck in 20 quid." He went, "All right, cool." 367 00:18:02,162 --> 00:18:04,122 So I went home. Mum's like, "Where's your bike?" 368 00:18:04,122 --> 00:18:06,282 I was like, "I've only got nunchuks and 20 quid," 369 00:18:06,282 --> 00:18:09,042 and she's like, "Well, no, go back and get your bike." 370 00:18:09,042 --> 00:18:11,002 And I went back and I was, "I need my bike back," 371 00:18:11,002 --> 00:18:13,522 and he goes, "All right, but I'll give you this dog, instead." 372 00:18:13,522 --> 00:18:15,202 I went, "All right." 373 00:18:15,202 --> 00:18:18,722 So I took the dog back and then someone's knocked at my house, 374 00:18:18,722 --> 00:18:20,402 because that guy had stole the dog. 375 00:18:20,402 --> 00:18:22,642 Oh, my word! So I had to then give the dog back. 376 00:18:22,642 --> 00:18:24,242 But I got to keep the nunchuks, 377 00:18:24,242 --> 00:18:25,802 so it was a happy ending. 378 00:18:25,802 --> 00:18:28,202 Do you know what a nunchuk is? 379 00:18:28,202 --> 00:18:31,002 What I do know is that Jamali and I have very different lives. 380 00:18:33,322 --> 00:18:37,402 Chris, have you ever used the system for visually impaired viewers - the audio description? 381 00:18:37,402 --> 00:18:41,162 Yes. They fit in description in the gaps of dialogue, 382 00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:44,882 but they feel the need to fit it in every single gap. 383 00:18:44,882 --> 00:18:48,762 There's just no pausing for breath, because they go, "What can we put in this gap?" 384 00:18:48,762 --> 00:18:51,002 "Let's tell them he's turned around." 385 00:18:51,002 --> 00:18:53,682 "Let's tell them he shut the door." 386 00:18:53,682 --> 00:18:55,362 I heard the door close! 387 00:18:57,762 --> 00:19:00,922 Let me give you my favourite examples from Channel 4's Naked Attraction. 388 00:19:00,922 --> 00:19:03,802 So it's a show - I've never seen it - the lovely Anna Richardson 389 00:19:03,802 --> 00:19:06,402 presents, and gradually she reveals the naked bodies... 390 00:19:06,402 --> 00:19:09,122 They're doing a celebrity version. I could get you on. No, I'm good. 391 00:19:09,122 --> 00:19:11,002 They're not. Shut up! 392 00:19:12,202 --> 00:19:14,882 You seriously believed him! It's only a question of time, though. 393 00:19:14,882 --> 00:19:17,522 I totally believed you! It's only a question of time 394 00:19:17,522 --> 00:19:20,322 we get that phone call. They gradually reveal the naked body 395 00:19:20,322 --> 00:19:22,922 to a studio guest, or chooser, who picks one to take on a date. 396 00:19:22,922 --> 00:19:24,842 Oh, we've seen it, Sandi. I haven't seen it. 397 00:19:24,842 --> 00:19:27,602 So the chooser, in this instance, was Brian. Anna Richardson, 398 00:19:27,602 --> 00:19:30,362 "Can we please see the bottom half of the bodies?" 399 00:19:30,362 --> 00:19:31,562 Audio description - 400 00:19:31,562 --> 00:19:33,842 "Wearing a colourful patterned shirt, 401 00:19:33,842 --> 00:19:37,603 "baby-faced Brian gulps as the outer shells start to rise. 402 00:19:37,603 --> 00:19:41,243 "Fingers pressed to his mouth, Brian scans the line-up of 403 00:19:41,243 --> 00:19:43,483 "well-landscaped lady gardens." 404 00:19:46,923 --> 00:19:49,683 Well, I like that. Makes it sound like they've got tulips growing. 405 00:19:49,683 --> 00:19:51,843 Well, landscaped is lovely. 406 00:19:51,843 --> 00:19:55,083 Wow. You don't want it overgrown. You don't want the council coming 407 00:19:55,083 --> 00:19:58,323 in every two years. You want it properly... Everyone likes a patio. 408 00:20:00,843 --> 00:20:03,203 Prince Albert is the closest we've got to somebody 409 00:20:03,203 --> 00:20:05,283 who couldn't perform without an audience. 410 00:20:05,283 --> 00:20:09,283 Is it like a thing where for royalty you had to prove 411 00:20:09,283 --> 00:20:11,723 that you've consummated the marriage? They watched. 412 00:20:11,723 --> 00:20:14,843 Yeah, it's the weirdest thing. So Henry VI was King of England, 413 00:20:14,843 --> 00:20:18,683 1422 to 1461, and his wife, Margaret of Anjou - 414 00:20:18,683 --> 00:20:21,043 they took more than eight years to produce an heir, 415 00:20:21,043 --> 00:20:23,483 and there were all sorts of rumours that he was impotent, 416 00:20:23,483 --> 00:20:27,443 or that she kept refusing. A lot of sheep going missing. 417 00:20:27,443 --> 00:20:30,123 They've discovered new evidence to suggest that courtiers 418 00:20:30,123 --> 00:20:33,923 had to accompany them to bed to make sure that they did the deed. 419 00:20:33,923 --> 00:20:37,283 The chamberlain of Henry VI used to stay in the room 420 00:20:37,283 --> 00:20:39,843 while they were in bed together. On his phone. 421 00:20:42,803 --> 00:20:45,763 They did finally have a baby - Edward - but it was thought 422 00:20:45,763 --> 00:20:47,843 to either be a bastard or a changeling. 423 00:20:47,843 --> 00:20:51,643 People used to believe it was a fairy or a devil child swapped in. 424 00:20:51,643 --> 00:20:54,163 They were married, actually, for a year before they met. 425 00:20:54,163 --> 00:20:55,763 Did you know that? No! 426 00:20:55,763 --> 00:20:58,963 So the Duke of Suffolk, who was Henry's adviser, went 427 00:20:58,963 --> 00:21:02,123 over to France in 1444 and married Margaret in his place, which used 428 00:21:02,123 --> 00:21:04,163 to be called a proxy wedding. 429 00:21:04,163 --> 00:21:06,763 That's the most Indian shit I've ever heard! 430 00:21:06,763 --> 00:21:09,123 Well, tell me what you think about this, because it wasn't 431 00:21:09,123 --> 00:21:11,083 just weddings that were conducted in absentia. 432 00:21:11,083 --> 00:21:13,043 Mary Tudor, who was the sister of Henry VIII, 433 00:21:13,043 --> 00:21:16,043 her marriage to Louis XII was consummated by proxy. 434 00:21:16,043 --> 00:21:18,283 Do you know about this? Consummated by proxy?! 435 00:21:18,283 --> 00:21:19,764 Yes, consummated by proxy. 436 00:21:19,764 --> 00:21:22,764 So the Duke of Longueville, who was at the time a French hostage 437 00:21:22,764 --> 00:21:25,044 in England, he acted as a stand-in for Louis 438 00:21:25,044 --> 00:21:27,804 for the consummation, right? So there's a whole lot of spectators, 439 00:21:27,804 --> 00:21:30,284 and Mary gets her clothes off and she climbs into bed 440 00:21:30,284 --> 00:21:32,444 and then the Duke takes off his stockings, 441 00:21:32,444 --> 00:21:35,964 doublet and hose from one leg, puts his naked leg in under the 442 00:21:35,964 --> 00:21:38,084 bedclothes and touches her with it. 443 00:21:38,084 --> 00:21:39,924 And everybody applauds, and that counts 444 00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:41,644 as having consummated the marriage. 445 00:21:41,644 --> 00:21:44,644 I don't understand straight people at all. 446 00:21:46,564 --> 00:21:49,484 Let's talk about sex with sloths, first, shall we? 447 00:21:49,484 --> 00:21:52,044 Yes, please. It would be weird if we didn't talk about that. 448 00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:54,324 I'm first in the queue for that one. Ooh! 449 00:21:54,324 --> 00:21:57,124 Isn't he the sweetest...? Is it a she? I don't know. 450 00:21:57,124 --> 00:21:59,924 Yeah, there's a look on that face, isn't there? 451 00:21:59,924 --> 00:22:03,324 I mean... Ready. "Come to bed, no?" 452 00:22:03,324 --> 00:22:06,764 I would... I would not be kicking that out. 453 00:22:06,764 --> 00:22:09,724 No, of whatever tree you were hanging in. 454 00:22:09,724 --> 00:22:12,644 That is definitely a come-hither look, isn't it? 455 00:22:12,644 --> 00:22:14,324 It is, it really is. 456 00:22:14,324 --> 00:22:17,044 So sloth sex begins with the female screaming at the top of her lungs 457 00:22:17,044 --> 00:22:19,004 that she's available. Oh. Wah! 458 00:22:19,004 --> 00:22:22,604 And then... Four years later. Yeah. 459 00:22:22,604 --> 00:22:26,404 Slowly, the man comes... Did you hear that? 460 00:22:27,444 --> 00:22:30,844 Before copulation takes place, he comes slowly towards her. 461 00:22:30,844 --> 00:22:34,084 Then it lasts as little as five seconds, and that includes 462 00:22:34,084 --> 00:22:35,604 the foreplay. 463 00:22:35,604 --> 00:22:38,884 Well, I think she's probably sorted herself out before he gets 464 00:22:38,884 --> 00:22:40,844 there, hasn't she? Do you reckon? 465 00:22:40,844 --> 00:22:44,684 Well... And then... She's... Like, "I've been screaming." 466 00:22:44,684 --> 00:22:46,964 Lovely turn of phrase. 467 00:22:46,964 --> 00:22:50,164 I sorted myself out before you arrived. Yes, you were too slow, 468 00:22:50,164 --> 00:22:52,764 I'm afraid. I had to sort myself out. 469 00:22:55,244 --> 00:22:58,124 Stopped at the pub again? Up to half the females in the area can have 470 00:22:58,124 --> 00:23:01,325 children from a single male, because they just think, "Oh, easier. 471 00:23:01,325 --> 00:23:03,485 "This one's here and I can't wait for another one." 472 00:23:03,485 --> 00:23:04,965 He's on the branch... 473 00:23:04,965 --> 00:23:08,245 "He's just taken too long." ..as they say in sloth world. 474 00:23:08,245 --> 00:23:10,805 Was he on the branch? He was. 475 00:23:10,805 --> 00:23:13,645 I'll be ready in a minute. Just fix me wig. Yeah. 476 00:23:13,645 --> 00:23:16,445 Really reminds me of somebody and I can't put... Ozzy Osbourne. 477 00:23:16,445 --> 00:23:18,805 It looks just like Ozzy Osbourne. It does. 478 00:23:21,605 --> 00:23:24,445 What's the most popular Volkswagen? 479 00:23:25,645 --> 00:23:27,205 Oh. Hmm. 480 00:23:27,205 --> 00:23:30,165 Yes? Polo. Oh, no. Golly, no. No, no. 481 00:23:30,165 --> 00:23:32,605 KLAXON BLARES 482 00:23:34,245 --> 00:23:35,725 It's the Beetle. 483 00:23:35,725 --> 00:23:37,645 KLAXON BLARES 484 00:23:40,805 --> 00:23:42,445 Any more for any more? 485 00:23:42,445 --> 00:23:44,845 Oh. It's a Golf. I would have said... 486 00:23:44,845 --> 00:23:47,125 KLAXON BLARES 487 00:23:51,005 --> 00:23:52,485 Passat. 488 00:23:52,485 --> 00:23:55,525 KLAXON BLARES 489 00:23:55,525 --> 00:23:57,365 Scirocco. 490 00:23:57,365 --> 00:23:59,725 KLAXON BLARES 491 00:24:03,165 --> 00:24:05,725 Kombi bus. 492 00:24:05,725 --> 00:24:07,285 Ooh! Oh! No. 493 00:24:07,285 --> 00:24:10,365 So we are measuring by the number of items sold 494 00:24:10,365 --> 00:24:12,485 rather than by the value, 495 00:24:12,485 --> 00:24:17,565 and VW sells more sausages than cars. 496 00:24:17,565 --> 00:24:20,645 So I have some here. 497 00:24:20,645 --> 00:24:24,685 These are Volkswagen Originalteil - 498 00:24:24,685 --> 00:24:27,325 the original part. They're curry-flavoured sausages. 499 00:24:27,325 --> 00:24:30,645 They were originally produced in VW factories to feed the staff. 500 00:24:30,645 --> 00:24:35,445 They became so popular, they're now sold by them for ten euros a pack, 501 00:24:35,445 --> 00:24:39,325 and they are given as gifts in VW dealerships in 11 countries, 502 00:24:39,325 --> 00:24:40,845 but not in the UK. 503 00:24:40,845 --> 00:24:44,126 When you buy a car, you get given free sausages, 504 00:24:44,126 --> 00:24:48,246 and the VW base in Wolfsburg has got 30 butchers on the payroll 505 00:24:48,246 --> 00:24:50,726 and they produce these. I think it's wonderful. 506 00:24:50,726 --> 00:24:53,486 These are original Volkswagen sausages. 507 00:24:53,486 --> 00:24:55,286 Can I just show you a trick? 508 00:24:55,286 --> 00:24:58,686 So, first of all, I'm going to light my lighter. 509 00:25:01,046 --> 00:25:03,606 Ah! ALAN: Whoa! What happened, because 510 00:25:03,606 --> 00:25:07,366 just the smoke...? The smoke is enough to draw it back down. 511 00:25:08,886 --> 00:25:11,086 ALAN IMITATES EXPLOSION 512 00:25:11,086 --> 00:25:13,406 That's so cool! Oh, that's like a magic trick. 513 00:25:13,406 --> 00:25:15,926 Have a look at the video and it makes it a little bit clearer, 514 00:25:15,926 --> 00:25:19,286 but it is actually as if the flame is passing down through the smoke. 515 00:25:20,286 --> 00:25:22,126 So there it goes out. 516 00:25:24,286 --> 00:25:26,246 Into the flames, smoke. 517 00:25:27,366 --> 00:25:29,126 And look at it travelling. Ah! 518 00:25:29,126 --> 00:25:31,366 That's amazing. Boom. 519 00:25:31,366 --> 00:25:33,686 That is... Wow. Cool, huh? Yeah. 520 00:25:33,686 --> 00:25:37,046 That's a good trick, isn't it? That's a very good trick. I like that. 521 00:25:37,046 --> 00:25:42,126 What shape do bees make honeycombs into? 522 00:25:42,126 --> 00:25:43,406 Hexagon. 523 00:25:43,406 --> 00:25:45,246 KLAXON BLARES 524 00:25:48,286 --> 00:25:51,086 It was previously thought that bees built their honeycombs 525 00:25:51,086 --> 00:25:53,966 out of hexagons, and a lot of people thought, "How have they done that? 526 00:25:53,966 --> 00:25:55,446 "How have they made a perfect hexagon?" 527 00:25:55,446 --> 00:25:57,486 When you say, "Previously thought," what you can do 528 00:25:57,486 --> 00:26:00,966 is actually look at it. There it is. So what they've 529 00:26:00,966 --> 00:26:02,006 actually... 530 00:26:03,086 --> 00:26:06,366 What they've actually done... The famous honeycomb shape. 531 00:26:06,366 --> 00:26:10,926 They create circular-shaped cells using their own bodies as a mould. 532 00:26:10,926 --> 00:26:14,966 Yes. And then, those form a hexagonal shape by themselves 533 00:26:14,966 --> 00:26:17,486 the same way that bubbles sit together in a bubble bath. 534 00:26:17,486 --> 00:26:20,166 Ah. What kind of bees make milk? 535 00:26:20,166 --> 00:26:21,926 That's the important question. 536 00:26:21,926 --> 00:26:24,686 The point is, we thought... Boobies! 537 00:26:28,207 --> 00:26:32,127 Have you been home-educating your kids? How is that going? 538 00:26:32,127 --> 00:26:36,047 This is the tone of voice for home schooling in the Davies household. 539 00:26:36,047 --> 00:26:39,327 Yeah. "Just do it and then bring it to me. 540 00:26:39,327 --> 00:26:41,807 "TRY to do it! 541 00:26:41,807 --> 00:26:43,967 "You haven't tried to do it! 542 00:26:43,967 --> 00:26:46,367 "I can't read that." 543 00:26:46,367 --> 00:26:49,247 So the point is, Alan, that we thought that bees knew 544 00:26:49,247 --> 00:26:51,087 how to make... Never mind "the point is, Alan," 545 00:26:51,087 --> 00:26:56,527 you know they're hexagons and you've shown some weird bee 546 00:26:56,527 --> 00:26:57,887 not actually in a honeycomb. 547 00:26:57,887 --> 00:27:00,927 "Oh, this is a good picture where it's not a hexagon." 548 00:27:00,927 --> 00:27:02,247 Find a proper one. 549 00:27:05,607 --> 00:27:07,847 Your own time you're wasting. 550 00:27:11,047 --> 00:27:13,687 Sofrito is an Italian mixture of chopped carrots, 551 00:27:13,687 --> 00:27:17,487 onions and celery used as a base for soups, stews and sauces. 552 00:27:17,487 --> 00:27:19,247 But what is suffrajitsu? 553 00:27:20,327 --> 00:27:21,447 Yes? 554 00:27:21,447 --> 00:27:25,847 A ninja suffragette. 555 00:27:25,847 --> 00:27:28,047 Is correct. What?! Is it?! 556 00:27:29,447 --> 00:27:32,487 I think I know something about this. That is hilarious. 557 00:27:32,487 --> 00:27:37,207 So, 18th of November, 1910, it was also known as Black Friday... 558 00:27:37,207 --> 00:27:39,887 Two people got killed? A group of suffragettes were attacked 559 00:27:39,887 --> 00:27:41,647 by police and two women died as a result. 560 00:27:41,647 --> 00:27:44,287 They wanted a way to fight back. And there was a campaigner 561 00:27:44,287 --> 00:27:46,967 and martial arts enthusiast called Edith Garrud, 562 00:27:46,967 --> 00:27:49,927 and she became the official jujitsu instructor 563 00:27:49,927 --> 00:27:52,567 to the Women's Social And Political Union. I love it! 564 00:27:52,567 --> 00:27:54,447 It gets better. It gets better. 565 00:27:54,447 --> 00:27:59,087 They had like a hard core of 30 women who were like the shock troops 566 00:27:59,087 --> 00:28:01,247 of the suffragettes. They were known as the Amazons. 567 00:28:01,247 --> 00:28:03,367 Yeah. And Emmeline Pankhurst would give a speech 568 00:28:03,367 --> 00:28:05,127 and they would get her out or protect her. 569 00:28:05,127 --> 00:28:07,767 There's a great incident where they got her out of a building 570 00:28:07,767 --> 00:28:11,288 in Camden. She was wearing a veil, and the police eventually 571 00:28:11,288 --> 00:28:14,088 managed to wrestle her away and it was a decoy and she was gone. 572 00:28:14,088 --> 00:28:16,248 But these women carried clubs under their dresses. 573 00:28:16,248 --> 00:28:19,328 I mean, they were very, very, very determined. 574 00:28:19,328 --> 00:28:23,248 And there's a marvellous cartoon in Punch magazine of this woman, 575 00:28:23,248 --> 00:28:26,288 Edith, standing in front of a group of terrified policemen entitled 576 00:28:26,288 --> 00:28:28,968 "The suffragette that knew jiu-jitsu". 577 00:28:28,968 --> 00:28:31,688 There is a thing, though, about the soul leaving the body 578 00:28:31,688 --> 00:28:34,568 in Latin America. Has anybody ever heard of susto? 579 00:28:34,568 --> 00:28:36,368 It's Spanish for "fright". 580 00:28:36,368 --> 00:28:37,928 It's a sort of folk illness, 581 00:28:37,928 --> 00:28:40,608 and sufferers believe that their soul leaves the body 582 00:28:40,608 --> 00:28:43,648 while they're still alive. So it's the belief that you've had something 583 00:28:43,648 --> 00:28:47,168 so terrible happen to you that your soul has actually briefly departed 584 00:28:47,168 --> 00:28:48,688 from your body. I've had that 585 00:28:48,688 --> 00:28:50,688 when I've been offered gym membership. 586 00:28:56,328 --> 00:28:59,528 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING