1 00:00:23,320 --> 00:00:27,080 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 2 00:00:33,360 --> 00:00:37,000 Hello, and welcome to QI. 3 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:41,800 Tonight, we are up to our usual tricks, and will be treating you 4 00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:45,000 to a show all about tricks and treats. 5 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:47,680 And joining me are four absolute sweeties. 6 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,280 A proper Smartie - it's Ria Lina. 7 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:52,680 APPLAUSE 8 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:58,040 Getting their Snickers in a twist, it's Eshaan Akbar. 9 00:00:58,040 --> 00:01:00,400 APPLAUSE 10 00:01:01,960 --> 00:01:04,360 Giving us all a Boost, it's Jimmy Carr. 11 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,160 APPLAUSE 12 00:01:08,000 --> 00:01:10,640 And always coming up smelling of Roses, 13 00:01:10,640 --> 00:01:12,120 it's Alan Davies. 14 00:01:12,120 --> 00:01:14,280 APPLAUSE 15 00:01:17,320 --> 00:01:19,920 And their buzzers are four tasty treats. 16 00:01:19,920 --> 00:01:21,360 Ria goes... 17 00:01:21,360 --> 00:01:24,480 # Sweets for my sweet, sugar for my honey... # 18 00:01:24,480 --> 00:01:26,240 Eshaan goes... 19 00:01:26,240 --> 00:01:31,720 # Just a spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down... # 20 00:01:31,720 --> 00:01:34,120 Not if you're diabetic. 21 00:01:34,120 --> 00:01:36,160 Which I am. 22 00:01:36,160 --> 00:01:38,480 Oh, are you? 23 00:01:38,480 --> 00:01:39,880 I'm pre-diabetic. 24 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:44,920 Is there a post-diabetic? 25 00:01:46,360 --> 00:01:48,000 Jimmy goes... 26 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:51,320 # Yummy, yummy, yummy, I got love in my tummy 27 00:01:51,320 --> 00:01:53,840 # And I feel like I'm loving you. # 28 00:01:53,840 --> 00:01:55,600 And Alan goes... 29 00:01:55,600 --> 00:01:58,520 # Sweet Caroline 30 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:00,400 # Ba ba ba 31 00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:03,480 # Good times never seemed so good 32 00:02:03,480 --> 00:02:06,480 # So good, so good, so good! # 33 00:02:08,160 --> 00:02:10,000 Let's just do karaoke. 34 00:02:11,760 --> 00:02:14,160 All right. So I suppose the first question today has to be, 35 00:02:14,160 --> 00:02:15,360 trick or treat? 36 00:02:15,360 --> 00:02:16,840 Jimmy? A treat, please. 37 00:02:16,840 --> 00:02:17,880 You want a treat? 38 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:19,520 Treat. Treat. 39 00:02:19,520 --> 00:02:21,640 Trick. Trick! OK. 40 00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:23,080 Trick. Trick. 41 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:25,720 OK, you two can have the chocolate cake that's just beside you. 42 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:27,080 Oh, what?! 43 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:31,360 This has gone very well. 44 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:34,920 Has this show got dumbed down a bit? Because I remember the questions 45 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:37,240 being a lot more difficult the last time I was on. 46 00:02:37,240 --> 00:02:39,440 Do you guys want a bit? There's some cake there. 47 00:02:39,440 --> 00:02:40,640 Oh, is there? Fine. 48 00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:42,840 But what I would have liked to have given you 49 00:02:42,840 --> 00:02:44,560 is German chocolate cake. 50 00:02:44,560 --> 00:02:46,920 Oh, no. Do you not like German... 51 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:48,560 I don't like German chocolate cake. 52 00:02:48,560 --> 00:02:50,000 OK, why don't you like it? 53 00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,480 Well, hang on. Let's be clear. 54 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:53,600 Do we mean chocolate cake from Germany 55 00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:55,200 or German chocolate cake? 56 00:02:55,200 --> 00:02:58,720 See, already you are going to probably get an extra point 57 00:02:58,720 --> 00:03:00,920 because my question is, 58 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:03,000 where does German chocolate cake come from? 59 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,200 Greggs. 60 00:03:08,520 --> 00:03:10,240 I know the answer to this. 61 00:03:10,240 --> 00:03:13,760 Well, there's a cake in America called German chocolate cake, 62 00:03:13,760 --> 00:03:16,640 and it's from a man called German, not from Germany. 63 00:03:16,640 --> 00:03:18,440 Exactly right. 64 00:03:18,440 --> 00:03:20,920 You get an extra point. That is entirely correct. 65 00:03:23,760 --> 00:03:26,000 I don't know if you've seen the show before. 66 00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,960 We could be out of here in 20 minutes. 67 00:03:27,960 --> 00:03:29,720 This is going to be terrific. 68 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:31,960 You were supposed to say Black Forest. 69 00:03:31,960 --> 00:03:33,560 KLAXON 70 00:03:37,160 --> 00:03:39,320 So there was a guy called Samuel German, 71 00:03:39,320 --> 00:03:42,200 and he developed a product in 1852 of baking chocolate 72 00:03:42,200 --> 00:03:44,360 that was already a little bit sweeter, 73 00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:46,560 so you had to put one less ingredient in your cake. 74 00:03:46,560 --> 00:03:49,560 And this was developed into a thing called German chocolate cake, 75 00:03:49,560 --> 00:03:51,520 and it became hugely successful. 76 00:03:51,520 --> 00:03:55,640 The thing about Samuel German is that he was an English American, 77 00:03:55,640 --> 00:04:00,000 so English but German, I mean, a bit like the royal family. 78 00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,960 Funny name to have, isn't it? 79 00:04:01,960 --> 00:04:03,680 The Germans are coming round. 80 00:04:03,680 --> 00:04:05,120 Oh! 81 00:04:06,640 --> 00:04:09,480 Anyway, the confusion over the name was almost immediate. 82 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:11,880 This recipe came out in 1957. 83 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:16,000 By 1963, Lyndon Johnson, the President of the United States, 84 00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,840 was serving this particular cake to 85 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:20,720 the German Chancellor Ludwig Erhard, thinking... 86 00:04:20,720 --> 00:04:22,720 IN AMERICAN ACCENT: "It'll be so great, 87 00:04:22,720 --> 00:04:25,280 "he's got his own people's cake." 88 00:04:25,280 --> 00:04:27,720 I'm frankly quite relieved it was a cake. 89 00:04:27,720 --> 00:04:30,440 "German chocolate cake" sounds like the kind of thing you would 90 00:04:30,440 --> 00:04:32,520 not put into Google at work. 91 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:36,680 That could be something really dreadful. 92 00:04:36,680 --> 00:04:41,240 We couldn't have a German chocolate cake on the show in case one person 93 00:04:41,240 --> 00:04:43,400 in the audience had a nut allergy. 94 00:04:43,400 --> 00:04:44,680 I always thought a nut allergy 95 00:04:44,680 --> 00:04:47,080 was a very good euphemism for lesbian. 96 00:04:49,920 --> 00:04:51,600 What's Sandi like? 97 00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:53,720 You know, she's got a nut allergy. 98 00:04:58,320 --> 00:05:01,440 Can I just say? As a hetero woman, you don't have to be a lesbian 99 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:03,080 to have a nut allergy. 100 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:12,160 Well, I feel we're dividing into niche tribes straight away. 101 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:14,000 "The Germans are coming round" 102 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,880 sounds like a euphemism for something. 103 00:05:16,880 --> 00:05:20,040 But here is something very, very British. 104 00:05:20,040 --> 00:05:22,000 Anybody know what this is? 105 00:05:23,800 --> 00:05:25,920 Is it a dragonfly with an erection? 106 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:28,640 Wow. 107 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:33,240 You know, I hadn't seen that, and now that's all I can see. Right?! 108 00:05:33,240 --> 00:05:34,600 Actually... That's it. 109 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,200 Festival Hall. Festival Hall. Festival of Britain. 110 00:05:37,200 --> 00:05:39,760 So it was the Festival of Britain, and it was called the Skylon. 111 00:05:39,760 --> 00:05:42,160 It was the centrepiece of the Festival of Britain. 112 00:05:42,160 --> 00:05:44,760 It was 90 metres high... Whoa. Wow. 113 00:05:44,760 --> 00:05:46,960 ..and it was kept erect through tension. 114 00:05:46,960 --> 00:05:49,040 I'm sure everybody's been there. 115 00:05:49,040 --> 00:05:52,800 It was the largest object in the world supported by wires, 116 00:05:52,800 --> 00:05:56,520 and what's really a shame is that they didn't keep it, because it was 117 00:05:56,520 --> 00:05:59,800 a remarkable construction, but it was pulled down a year later. 118 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:02,040 They were going to take it to Scarborough, Morecambe, 119 00:06:02,040 --> 00:06:05,000 even the United States, but it was too expensive. 120 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:07,560 They sold it to a scrap metal dealer in White City, 121 00:06:07,560 --> 00:06:09,640 probably right near where we are now - 122 00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:11,840 Wood Lane, White City - George Cohen and Sons. 123 00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:14,000 And it was taken apart on the banks of the river. 124 00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:16,600 Wasn't that the original plan for the Eiffel Tower? 125 00:06:16,600 --> 00:06:19,080 It was going to be up for four or five years initially. Yeah. 126 00:06:19,080 --> 00:06:21,680 And then they went, "Do you know what? I like it." Yeah. 127 00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:25,160 The Millennium Wheel, one year only. It was one year only as well, yeah. 128 00:06:25,160 --> 00:06:28,080 Were people meant to climb up this thing? What was the point of it? 129 00:06:28,080 --> 00:06:30,440 What was the point? It's right at the end, mate. 130 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,440 It's quite a hazard to skydivers, 131 00:06:35,440 --> 00:06:37,800 because I imagine you can't see it at all... 132 00:06:41,120 --> 00:06:43,480 Coming down, "Look at that view of the Thames..." 133 00:06:43,480 --> 00:06:45,040 MIMICS RIPPING FABRIC 134 00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:48,200 There was a student who wanted to climb up it and hang a pair 135 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:51,000 of knickers... Of course. ..at the top, at the official opening. 136 00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,760 He's called Philip Gordon. 137 00:06:52,760 --> 00:06:55,280 He was a student at the University of London's Air Squadron. 138 00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:58,400 He shimmied up at midnight, dressed as a workman, and his plan was 139 00:06:58,400 --> 00:07:00,400 to jump into the river to escape. 140 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:03,240 I'm just going to say "90 metres" again to everybody... Wow. 141 00:07:03,240 --> 00:07:06,640 Anyway, bless his heart, he slightly bottled it and hung a scarf 142 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:09,480 instead of a pair of knickers, because the King was coming. 143 00:07:09,480 --> 00:07:11,040 But he did get up there. 144 00:07:11,040 --> 00:07:14,120 No, he got there... He got up there. ..he just couldn't bear to do pants. 145 00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:16,400 Or they were dirty cos he bottled it. 146 00:07:18,040 --> 00:07:21,200 Yeah. He got to the top and soiled himself, that's what we've learned. 147 00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:23,880 But hang on - the plan to get down was initially to jump, 148 00:07:23,880 --> 00:07:26,240 and then he thought, "Do you know what?" Yeah... 149 00:07:26,240 --> 00:07:27,960 "I'm just going to shimmy." 150 00:07:27,960 --> 00:07:30,320 That's a good name for you - Shimmy Carr. I like that. 151 00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:34,640 Give us a shimmy. Yeah! Yeah! There we go. 152 00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,600 Lots of people didn't like it. 153 00:07:36,600 --> 00:07:40,040 The Sydney Morning Herald called it "phallic flippancy". 154 00:07:40,040 --> 00:07:42,200 I don't think if your phallus looks like that, 155 00:07:42,200 --> 00:07:44,320 you can afford to be flippant. No... 156 00:07:44,320 --> 00:07:46,720 Wouldn't think they'd be bothered by reviews, would they? 157 00:07:46,720 --> 00:07:48,960 I mean, who's looking at that, going, "Oh, well, 158 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:51,800 "it wasn't well reviewed, I'll look over here"? Yeah. 159 00:07:52,960 --> 00:07:56,280 Some of it was used for rearmament in the Korean War, 160 00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:59,480 and some of it was made into commemorative letter openers. 161 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:02,080 Oh, I feel bad for the guy that ended up in the Korean War 162 00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:03,520 with a letter opener. Yeah! 163 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:09,360 It's an example of something called tensegrity. 164 00:08:09,360 --> 00:08:11,360 Tension and integrity. 165 00:08:11,360 --> 00:08:14,080 It's a word coined by the architect Richard Buckmunster... 166 00:08:14,080 --> 00:08:15,600 Buckmis... Sorry. 167 00:08:15,600 --> 00:08:17,760 Richard Buckminster Fuller... Well said. 168 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:20,200 I try not to get my Buckminster and my Fuller confused... 169 00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:22,920 You nearly said "buttmuncher" there, and you... Yeah, I know! 170 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:26,480 Now for a question about TREAT-ments. 171 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:30,280 It's time for a round of What's The Treatment, Sandi? 172 00:08:30,280 --> 00:08:33,040 JAUNTY MUSIC 173 00:08:35,640 --> 00:08:39,160 OK! What do we think the treatment is to stop snoring? 174 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:40,400 Wake up. 175 00:08:42,840 --> 00:08:44,240 APPLAUSE 176 00:08:49,240 --> 00:08:51,160 I just read a book about this! Oh! 177 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:53,760 A whole book about snoring? Yeah, well, it's called Breathe. 178 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:56,760 It's quite a good book, and it's about how we develop, 179 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,160 and basically, the whole book says, you've got to breathe 180 00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,480 through your nose, so put a bit of tape over your mouth, 181 00:09:01,480 --> 00:09:03,000 stop your snoring. Oh... 182 00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:05,480 Why did you read a whole book about breathing...? 183 00:09:06,720 --> 00:09:08,160 Well, I thought... "You know what? 184 00:09:08,160 --> 00:09:10,280 "Some people stop breathing, and then..." Yeah. 185 00:09:11,480 --> 00:09:13,960 So you go, "I want to get... This is the basics." Yeah. 186 00:09:13,960 --> 00:09:15,480 "You want to nail this stuff." Good. 187 00:09:15,480 --> 00:09:17,320 I've been breathing the whole show. 188 00:09:19,320 --> 00:09:21,480 It is to do with breathing. 189 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:24,600 Divorce is not the answer. Divorce is one way of doing it, 190 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:27,680 but you might want to stop your own snoring and train yourself not to. 191 00:09:27,680 --> 00:09:29,080 ALAN: Oh, I do. 192 00:09:29,080 --> 00:09:31,400 Well, I snore a little bit, and my girlfriend's got... 193 00:09:31,400 --> 00:09:33,320 She's got noise-cancelling fists. 194 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:40,840 But you're in the right area, Jimmy, because what we really need to do 195 00:09:40,840 --> 00:09:43,280 is train the muscles of the upper airways to do what's called 196 00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:46,320 circular breathing. So you need to inhale through 197 00:09:46,320 --> 00:09:47,800 the nose whilst blowing through... 198 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:51,240 Is that right? 199 00:09:52,480 --> 00:09:55,080 It's that, breathing in through the nose, out through the mouth, 200 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:57,040 in through the nose and out through the mouth 201 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:58,880 in a continuous circular movement. 202 00:09:58,880 --> 00:10:01,200 But he's taped his mouth shut. 203 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:03,760 So I do die about a minute into this. 204 00:10:03,760 --> 00:10:05,400 It's not ideal. 205 00:10:05,400 --> 00:10:08,200 The best way is to take up an instrument. 206 00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:10,720 Which instrument might it be? I think trombone, isn't it? 207 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,240 Nope. Anybody any thoughts? Bagpipes. 208 00:10:13,240 --> 00:10:14,760 Xylophone. 209 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:15,800 Flute. Xyl...?! 210 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:18,040 Didgeridoo! Harmonica! Didgeridoo! 211 00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:22,560 Oh... It's the didgeridoo. Well done, Alan. Yes. 212 00:10:22,560 --> 00:10:24,240 APPLAUSE 213 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:29,720 And there I am with my didgeridoo! 214 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:34,960 So 2006, a group of scientists in Zurich decided, 215 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:39,640 "Let's stop snoring by trying to get people to play the didgeridoo." 216 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:43,080 So what they did was they got a group of snorers, and they made them 217 00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:46,000 practise the didge, and made them practise every day for four months, 218 00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:48,120 and then they had a control group who were told 219 00:10:48,120 --> 00:10:50,120 they were on the waiting list for lessons, OK? 220 00:10:50,120 --> 00:10:52,680 And they were told to do anything EXCEPT play the didgeridoo. 221 00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:55,040 There was a brief notion that 222 00:10:55,040 --> 00:10:57,520 they were going to get them to play the recorder, 223 00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:00,040 but they thought nobody'd get through four months, 224 00:11:00,040 --> 00:11:01,600 so they totally didn't do that. 225 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:04,680 And those who played the didgeridoo, that does seem to work 226 00:11:04,680 --> 00:11:07,400 to help your snoring, because it creates this circular breathing. 227 00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,800 Wow. Mm-hm! Anyway, moving on, 228 00:11:09,800 --> 00:11:13,200 describe the world's most expensive tea towel. 229 00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:17,240 In Asian culture, often we'll use a tea towel to wrap chapatis in, 230 00:11:17,240 --> 00:11:20,600 and my cousin made some chapatis and put them in a tea towel that was 231 00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:23,280 a bit tatty, and it was the straw that broke the camel's back, 232 00:11:23,280 --> 00:11:25,200 and then she got divorced, 233 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:27,320 and that cost a lot of money, 234 00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:29,120 so is it THAT tea towel? 235 00:11:29,120 --> 00:11:30,480 Wow. 236 00:11:31,680 --> 00:11:32,840 Yes. 237 00:11:32,840 --> 00:11:36,320 I thought we would use this show to specifically shame your cousin. 238 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,200 Fantastic. 239 00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,640 He wasn't worth it! 240 00:11:41,160 --> 00:11:44,760 Is it a golden one? A bejewelled one? A rare one? 241 00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:47,560 We are talking about a famous painter. A painter's tea towel? 242 00:11:47,560 --> 00:11:49,480 Van Gogh. Oh! 243 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:51,480 He worked at an extremely quick rate, 244 00:11:51,480 --> 00:11:54,440 and he often ran out of canvases, so he would use anything - 245 00:11:54,440 --> 00:11:57,720 paper, cloth, sometimes he painted over old paintings. 246 00:11:57,720 --> 00:11:59,200 In the last years of his life, 247 00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:02,200 he sometimes used tablecloths or tea towels, and one of them, 248 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:04,760 which is a still life of flowers in a vase, sold in 2000 249 00:12:04,760 --> 00:12:06,720 for £2.1 million. 250 00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:09,400 It is the most expensive tea towel in history. 251 00:12:09,400 --> 00:12:11,880 And you can just see, apparently, a tiny sort of grid of 252 00:12:11,880 --> 00:12:15,760 red rectangles still fairly visible underneath the painting. 253 00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,440 This one on the screen here is also on a tea towel, 254 00:12:18,440 --> 00:12:20,840 it's Daubigny's Garden, painted around the same time, 255 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:22,920 it's in the Van Gogh Museum in Amsterdam. 256 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:26,080 And one of Van Gogh's paintings contains an accidentally inserted 257 00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:29,280 insect, I love this, a painting of olive trees, 258 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:31,400 and there's a grasshopper got caught in it, 259 00:12:31,400 --> 00:12:34,360 and nobody discovered it till 2017. 260 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:36,880 I love all those art connoisseurs, 261 00:12:36,880 --> 00:12:39,440 it took 129 years for them to go, "Hang on a minute." 262 00:12:42,040 --> 00:12:43,640 Speaking of insects, 263 00:12:43,640 --> 00:12:46,400 what is this fly doing in this painting? 264 00:12:47,880 --> 00:12:51,280 Oh, the one by the plate? There's also one on her head. 265 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,920 Oh, yes. Talking to the one by the plate? Yeah. 266 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:58,120 "Come up here." "The food's HERE - the food's down here!" 267 00:12:58,120 --> 00:13:00,320 "You can see for miles up here!" 268 00:13:01,840 --> 00:13:03,160 "They'll swat you!" 269 00:13:03,160 --> 00:13:05,880 "They won't... She won't swat herself in the head, will she?" 270 00:13:09,120 --> 00:13:12,240 It's called musca depicta - so "musca," Latin for "fly" - 271 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:14,720 and it was to show how skilful the artist is. 272 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:18,240 It's a way of saying, "I can paint a fly that is so realistic, 273 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,800 "an observer might just want to kind of..." 274 00:13:20,800 --> 00:13:24,160 Well, clearly not, because that's the world's biggest fly. 275 00:13:24,160 --> 00:13:27,520 So when you see the painting, you think, "There's a fly on it." 276 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:30,240 Yeah... Exactly. "Oh!" "Oh, oh!" "God...!" 277 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:34,560 "It's painted on?!" 278 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:38,640 At the time it was painted, that was thought to be quite a thing, 279 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:41,400 so it was a fairly new idea, the concept of "trompe-l'oeil," 280 00:13:41,400 --> 00:13:42,920 or "trick of the eye". 281 00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,280 Do people go in and try and eat the beans? 282 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:46,560 That - exactly that. 283 00:13:46,560 --> 00:13:48,320 "It's a painting! Oh, my God!" 284 00:13:49,640 --> 00:13:53,040 The very supposed first-ever use of the trompe-l'oeil 285 00:13:53,040 --> 00:13:56,080 was a painting competition in ancient Greece between the artists 286 00:13:56,080 --> 00:13:57,920 Zeuxis and Parrhasius. 287 00:13:57,920 --> 00:14:00,600 And Zeuxis painted some realistic grapes 288 00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:03,320 that, apparently, the birds flew down and tried to take. 289 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:06,600 And so, Parrhasius then painted a curtain that was so realistic 290 00:14:06,600 --> 00:14:09,840 that Zeuxis himself was fooled and tried to push it to one side. 291 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,080 Do you think ALL of these stories from ancient Greece 292 00:14:12,080 --> 00:14:13,440 are just nonsense? 293 00:14:14,840 --> 00:14:16,640 Yes, let's not do that any more. 294 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:24,520 I can't believe... 295 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:27,720 This is so exciting to me. 296 00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:30,000 "Yes, rip it up! Rip it up!" Yes! 297 00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,920 "It's nonsense..." It's all nonsense. 298 00:14:31,920 --> 00:14:35,200 "..the bird flew down to the grapes... It did not! It's 2D! 299 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:38,040 "The bird can't identify that. It's not seeing grapes." 300 00:14:39,880 --> 00:14:42,000 "The curtains! They're real curtains." 301 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:44,360 "Bullshit! The curtains are painted!" 302 00:14:44,360 --> 00:14:47,480 And the Greeks, they just spread it about, you know, "That happened," 303 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:50,360 and we... Thousands of years, we're still going, "Amazing, you know, 304 00:14:50,360 --> 00:14:52,000 "in ancient Greece..." 305 00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:54,720 The single... How've they convinced us of this utter non...?! 306 00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:56,240 I don't know! 307 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,760 A single torn card, I've got rid of the whole of Greek mythology. 308 00:15:02,080 --> 00:15:04,040 Get out... Move that, Alan. 309 00:15:04,040 --> 00:15:06,400 So that... That is amazing. 310 00:15:06,400 --> 00:15:08,400 That was painted in 1658. 311 00:15:08,400 --> 00:15:11,160 That actually does look like a curtain. Isn't that incredible? 312 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,040 In fairness, that is good, though, ain't it? 313 00:15:14,040 --> 00:15:16,920 I mean, if the Greeks saw that, they'd shit themselves. 314 00:15:16,920 --> 00:15:19,920 Oh, you don't... You missed it, though. You missed it, 315 00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:21,360 because a bird just flew in, Alan. 316 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:25,320 The flowers are terrible, but the curtain's unbelievable. 317 00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,760 Deliberately so, obviously deliberately so. 318 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,840 It makes the curtain look more like a curtain 319 00:15:29,840 --> 00:15:31,600 if the flowers are shit. Can I...? 320 00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:35,320 Sorry, just two seconds. Can I have some Sellotape? 321 00:15:37,160 --> 00:15:38,640 Have you...? 322 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:41,000 So this was painted by a man, wasn't it? 323 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,040 This was painted by Adriaen van der Spelt in 1650. 324 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,320 Cos... Why is it? Why? Because it's not ironed. 325 00:15:49,080 --> 00:15:50,360 No, that's a fair point. 326 00:15:50,360 --> 00:15:52,520 I don't know a lot about him, Adriaen van der Spelt, 327 00:15:52,520 --> 00:15:54,440 I just know that he had a nasty third wife 328 00:15:54,440 --> 00:15:56,920 who drove him to his grave. That's literally all I've got. 329 00:15:56,920 --> 00:15:58,880 What, literally gave him a lift? Yeah. 330 00:16:00,080 --> 00:16:02,240 "Don't worry, you'll be there in a minute." 331 00:16:02,240 --> 00:16:03,960 "Where are we going?!" "Agh!" 332 00:16:03,960 --> 00:16:06,200 Cos all she wanted him to do was iron the curtains, 333 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,720 and he kept PAINTING them. 334 00:16:07,720 --> 00:16:10,760 Can I just show you something incredible which is, I think, 335 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,640 the best example of trompe-l'oeil I've ever seen in my entire life? 336 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:16,120 It is a technique that was used to create 337 00:16:16,120 --> 00:16:18,200 the appearance of a dome on a flat ceiling. 338 00:16:18,200 --> 00:16:20,040 This is a flat ceiling. 339 00:16:20,040 --> 00:16:22,240 It is in the Sant'Ignazio church in Rome, 340 00:16:22,240 --> 00:16:25,360 and I think it is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. 341 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,600 Do you not think that is astonishing? 342 00:16:27,600 --> 00:16:30,560 Painted by Andrea Pozzo somewhere in the late 17th century. 343 00:16:30,560 --> 00:16:33,000 I'll be honest with you, I can't see Wally. 344 00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:36,880 Why do they never dress? 345 00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,880 When did they invent trousers and T-shirts? 346 00:16:40,880 --> 00:16:42,680 Did everyone have to wear curtains? 347 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:45,200 "Bring your own curtain, we're doing a dome." 348 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:47,880 I always think that, Alan, about having no trousers, 349 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:49,360 they must have had no pockets. 350 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,400 They must have been dropping things all the time. 351 00:16:51,400 --> 00:16:54,160 "Where have I put my thing?" Perhaps they didn't have possessions. 352 00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:55,800 Did they have keys and change? 353 00:16:55,800 --> 00:16:57,160 I used to know. 354 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:04,480 You've broken the show, Alan. 355 00:17:04,480 --> 00:17:07,320 Anyway, there's a modern use for the trompe-l'oeil. 356 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:10,960 In the 1990s, the public bathrooms in Amsterdam's Schiphol airport... 357 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:13,200 I know this. Yes? Tell me. 358 00:17:13,200 --> 00:17:16,280 In Schiphol, they have the fly, so you aim at the fly, 359 00:17:16,280 --> 00:17:19,960 and it stops you from peeing everywhere. 360 00:17:19,960 --> 00:17:22,160 Yeah, and the Victorians came up with it. 361 00:17:22,160 --> 00:17:24,720 They used to decorate the urinals with images of honeybees, 362 00:17:24,720 --> 00:17:30,440 which was a joke, because in Latin, a honeybee is "Apis mellifera"... 363 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:33,400 LAUGHTER Yeah, I know. It sounds like... 364 00:17:33,400 --> 00:17:35,920 I've always thought they should have a face... Yeah? 365 00:17:35,920 --> 00:17:38,200 ..with the hole there as the mouth. 366 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:43,000 Last time I went to Amsterdam, there was an actual fly, 367 00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,360 and I started aiming at that. 368 00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:47,360 The people were not happy. Was it on the door? 369 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:48,520 Just like... 370 00:17:50,760 --> 00:17:52,720 Chasing it round the airport. 371 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,480 "I'll get you." "Stand back! There's a fly!" 372 00:17:57,680 --> 00:18:00,280 Fulfilling your civic duty. Yeah. 373 00:18:00,280 --> 00:18:02,440 I don't get it, Ria. They've got an aiming device, 374 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,920 and still somehow not possible to make it... 375 00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:07,920 No, I don't understand why nature give it to them. 376 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:11,400 Held up by tensegrity. 377 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:15,120 If you're lucky. 378 00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,960 We turn now from Schiphol to a whole ship. 379 00:18:18,960 --> 00:18:22,040 What trickery was this boat involved in? 380 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:25,640 Is it a boat meant to look like something else? 381 00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:27,840 You are absolutely heading in the right direction. 382 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:30,600 What kind of period of history? Where do you think we are? 383 00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:32,880 So this is a casemate ironclad boat, 384 00:18:32,880 --> 00:18:35,040 and this is something that fought in the Civil War... 385 00:18:35,040 --> 00:18:36,640 Civil War. American Civil War! 386 00:18:36,640 --> 00:18:39,320 American Civil War! 1860s. 1862, this particular picture. 387 00:18:39,320 --> 00:18:41,680 You get an extra point, Alan. This is rather frightening. 388 00:18:41,680 --> 00:18:43,160 HE GASPS 389 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:44,640 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 390 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:49,640 Little bit of good news for you - I read a book about the Civil War. 391 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:51,320 What did you learn? 392 00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,960 The fact that I learned I found interesting was that the youngest 393 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:57,800 you could be, legally, to be a soldier in the Civil War was nine. 394 00:18:57,800 --> 00:19:00,560 Wow. Because eight-year-old soldiers, that's crazy. 395 00:19:00,560 --> 00:19:01,800 Ridiculous. 396 00:19:01,800 --> 00:19:04,480 The other thing I learnt about, that I thought was interesting, 397 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,520 was the biggest killer in the American Civil War? 398 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,160 Diarrhoea. Yeah. 399 00:19:08,160 --> 00:19:09,360 AUDIENCE GROANS 400 00:19:09,360 --> 00:19:10,840 Imagine being shot with that! 401 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:13,560 But that is true. 402 00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:16,040 That is true, darling, in most of the old conflicts. 403 00:19:16,040 --> 00:19:18,440 So the Boer War - typhoid. It's those things... It's... 404 00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,880 It's your illnesses, your stomach-related illnesses, 405 00:19:20,880 --> 00:19:24,360 that kills more, quite often, than... Oh, I know... 406 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,360 Same with panel shows. 407 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:30,720 Apparently, there was a code of honour in the American Civil War 408 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,480 where you couldn't shoot anyone 409 00:19:32,480 --> 00:19:34,240 if they were shitting. 410 00:19:34,240 --> 00:19:36,480 Which I think is quite a nice thing, which is... 411 00:19:36,480 --> 00:19:39,040 I would've spent the whole of the Civil War going, "Hang on!" 412 00:19:39,040 --> 00:19:40,840 Have you got that the right way round? 413 00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:42,440 "You can't shit if you're shootin', 414 00:19:42,440 --> 00:19:45,360 "you can't shoot if you're shittin'... It's one of those!" 415 00:19:46,800 --> 00:19:48,240 APPLAUSE 416 00:19:48,240 --> 00:19:50,400 So a lot of the battles that took place 417 00:19:50,400 --> 00:19:53,600 between the Confederates in the South and the Unionists in the North 418 00:19:53,600 --> 00:19:55,760 took place on the Mississippi River. 419 00:19:55,760 --> 00:19:59,560 And these boats, these casement ironclads, were brand-new, 420 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,360 they were like a sort of moving fort. 421 00:20:01,360 --> 00:20:03,480 And this boat belonged to the Unionists, 422 00:20:03,480 --> 00:20:06,000 but they had to, for various reasons, they had to abandon it, 423 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,400 and the Confederates tried to salvage it. 424 00:20:08,400 --> 00:20:12,240 So in order to stop them salvaging it, the Unionists built 425 00:20:12,240 --> 00:20:14,480 a completely fake boat. 426 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:18,560 It was made out of timber and tar and...and a toilet! 427 00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:20,400 All the Ts. 428 00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:22,200 And a tea towel. 429 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:23,800 It was called the Black Terror. 430 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:27,280 It flew both the American flag and the skull and crossbones. 431 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:30,040 It cost $8.63 to construct. 432 00:20:30,040 --> 00:20:33,160 That's about $208 today... $8?! 433 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:34,880 $8 to construct! 434 00:20:34,880 --> 00:20:37,080 And they even lit a sort of tar fire, 435 00:20:37,080 --> 00:20:40,160 so it'd look like engine smoke, and the Confederate salvagers, 436 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:42,920 they destroyed the original gunboat, the Indianola, 437 00:20:42,920 --> 00:20:46,160 because they thought that the Unionists were coming to get it, 438 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:50,040 and it made the Unionists cry and cry with laughter. 439 00:20:50,040 --> 00:20:52,560 So they managed to use an entirely fake boat 440 00:20:52,560 --> 00:20:55,120 to get the others to destroy a very valuable one. 441 00:20:55,120 --> 00:20:58,120 So there was a little bit of levity in the middle of all that slaughter. 442 00:20:58,120 --> 00:21:00,360 So the Confederates built this? 443 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:03,560 No, the Unionists built this, and the Confederates then sank the boat. 444 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:06,920 Whoa, I haven't seen the last episode. Don't spoil it. 445 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:10,040 OK. Don't tell me who wins, cos I'm getting close. No. 446 00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:13,880 Are you up to speed with the British and the Germans? Oh, no, no, no! 447 00:21:13,880 --> 00:21:16,680 No, no, no, no. But the Germans are coming round. 448 00:21:16,680 --> 00:21:18,000 Oh, yes. 449 00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:21,920 There's another excellent wartime dummy trick. 450 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:23,280 So in World War I, 451 00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:26,440 a horse was killed in what was called no-man's-land, 452 00:21:26,440 --> 00:21:29,640 and somebody thought, "Ooh, I know, we'll turn it into a lookout." 453 00:21:29,640 --> 00:21:34,400 And under cover of night, French soldiers made a papier mache version 454 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,520 of the horse, and a soldier then went in it 455 00:21:37,520 --> 00:21:41,160 and, apparently, used his anus as a gun port, 456 00:21:41,160 --> 00:21:43,160 which I think, you know... 457 00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,800 That's something I'm definitely going to google later on. 458 00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:47,560 "Anus as a gun port." 459 00:21:47,560 --> 00:21:49,640 The horse... It's the horse's anus? 460 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:51,280 Yes, the horse... Yes. Thank God. 461 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:58,000 Don't always understand everything first time. 462 00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,760 But then it rains and... 463 00:22:01,200 --> 00:22:03,600 Is there...? Is this going to be a follow-up story 464 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:06,480 about the greatest hero of that war was, of course, 465 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:08,200 a pantomime horse? 466 00:22:08,200 --> 00:22:11,200 Well, they used papier-mache heads. I think you've got some. 467 00:22:11,200 --> 00:22:14,800 They used to use papier-mache heads on sticks to put up over the trench. 468 00:22:14,800 --> 00:22:17,600 Oh, hang on, look... Oh, no, I have got one, yeah. Look at this. 469 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:19,120 RIA: Oh! ESHAAN: Oh, gosh. 470 00:22:19,120 --> 00:22:21,000 There wasn't much diversity then, was there? 471 00:22:21,000 --> 00:22:24,120 No, no, it's not wild on diversity. They all... 472 00:22:26,000 --> 00:22:27,440 Ours have found love. 473 00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:49,200 # Yummy, yummy, yummy I got love in my tummy... # 474 00:22:52,520 --> 00:22:55,120 "I'm always hungry after a blowjob." "Yeah! 475 00:22:56,720 --> 00:22:57,760 "How dare you!" 476 00:23:01,360 --> 00:23:04,000 Quick randi Skandi about military trickery. 477 00:23:04,000 --> 00:23:07,000 There's a great hero, a Danish hero, called Tordenskjold, 478 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:08,560 which means "Thunder Shield". 479 00:23:08,560 --> 00:23:11,200 He was born Peter Wessel in 1690. 480 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:13,760 He looks a mean so-and-so. 481 00:23:13,760 --> 00:23:15,680 Doesn't like having his picture painted. No! 482 00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:20,160 Do you think he was actually standing behind that suit of armour? 483 00:23:22,800 --> 00:23:26,840 And that must be a nightmare at airports. Jesus! Yes. 484 00:23:26,840 --> 00:23:29,600 "You've set it off again!" 485 00:23:29,600 --> 00:23:33,000 "What is it? Why? Every time! Every time!" 486 00:23:33,000 --> 00:23:34,920 "Is it my bra strap?" 487 00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:39,160 There's a mythical story, I don't know if it's true or not, 488 00:23:39,160 --> 00:23:42,040 that he once tricked the Swedes into thinking there was a huge force 489 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:45,120 in a town called Marstrand, and he caused them to surrender, 490 00:23:45,120 --> 00:23:47,480 and what he did was basically passed the same troops 491 00:23:47,480 --> 00:23:50,440 in and out of the town square, day and night, over and over again, 492 00:23:50,440 --> 00:23:53,640 and they overestimated how many soldiers were actually there. 493 00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:55,960 And it's called Tordenskjold's Soldater. 494 00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:58,000 So he just had the same guys marching round, 495 00:23:58,000 --> 00:24:00,600 and they went, "There's loads of them"? "There's a lot of them!" 496 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:02,600 I mean, the people who were fooled were Swedish, 497 00:24:02,600 --> 00:24:04,080 and they do like a drink, so... 498 00:24:05,360 --> 00:24:07,040 There was a Danish army in Sweden? 499 00:24:07,040 --> 00:24:10,320 Yeah, we've had a lot of trouble internally. 500 00:24:10,320 --> 00:24:13,360 OK. I was going to ask a question, but... 501 00:24:13,360 --> 00:24:16,000 What? Jimmy's probably read a book about it. 502 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,040 Have you read the book...? 503 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:21,360 The Danes Do Sweden? It sounds like the sort of thing I would look up. 504 00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:24,880 On a rainy afternoon. Go on, what's the question? 505 00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:28,200 There are no bad questions on this show. No, it's a wrong question. 506 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,080 I love a wrong question. 507 00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,400 I wasn't sure how they could tell the difference 508 00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:35,040 between the Danish and the Swedes. Oh! 509 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,560 ESHAAN: Finally, someone said it! 510 00:24:40,000 --> 00:24:41,960 Sandi, Sandi, I'll take this. 511 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:51,840 You stay out of it, OK? It's between me and Sandi. 512 00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:55,600 Go on, Sandi, stand up. 513 00:24:57,360 --> 00:24:59,320 APPLAUSE 514 00:25:05,080 --> 00:25:06,920 Well, we know who's losing, anyway. 515 00:25:08,880 --> 00:25:11,040 JIMMY LAUGHS 516 00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:14,960 Right, it's time for another game of What's The Treatment, Sandi? 517 00:25:14,960 --> 00:25:17,160 JAUNTY MUSIC 518 00:25:20,400 --> 00:25:23,080 OK. How do you stop your toe from dropping off? 519 00:25:25,040 --> 00:25:28,600 Oh. Stop cutting your toenails with a Black & Decker? 520 00:25:28,600 --> 00:25:31,240 That's quite a good answer. Put them in the freezer or something? 521 00:25:31,240 --> 00:25:33,240 How would that work? Well... 522 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:35,520 IN HIGH PITCH: All right, let me explain...! 523 00:25:35,520 --> 00:25:36,920 MOCKING HIGH PITCH: WHAT?! 524 00:25:38,160 --> 00:25:40,280 Now he's got to think of some logic. Yeah, I have...! 525 00:25:40,280 --> 00:25:41,920 So! You put your f... 526 00:25:41,920 --> 00:25:44,320 ..your toes in the freezer and as it defrosts, 527 00:25:44,320 --> 00:25:47,280 just before it completely defrosts, put it back in again. 528 00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:50,080 Well, why don't you just put a sock on? Just wear a sock! 529 00:25:51,640 --> 00:25:53,400 Socks can get cold. 530 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:54,920 What?! What?! 531 00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:57,960 What did... what did you think Sandi asked? 532 00:25:59,440 --> 00:26:03,400 There is a condition called dactylolysis spontanea, 533 00:26:03,400 --> 00:26:05,560 or ainhum, which is much easier to say, 534 00:26:05,560 --> 00:26:08,320 and it's a very rare condition where the little toe, 535 00:26:08,320 --> 00:26:12,000 normally on both feet, atrophies and then falls off. 536 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:13,240 JIMMY GASPS 537 00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:14,960 Well, it actually goes to market. 538 00:26:17,520 --> 00:26:19,360 APPLAUSE 539 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:26,720 A constrictive ring of tissue forms at the base of the toe, 540 00:26:26,720 --> 00:26:28,680 and that just restricts oxygen. 541 00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:30,760 It can be caused by injury or infection, 542 00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:32,880 sometimes happens with no clear reason at all. 543 00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:36,360 Primarily found in males of African descent. 544 00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:41,280 Probably the best thing to do is to cut it off pre-emptively, amputate. 545 00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,680 Or just put it in a freezer. Freezer! Well, then... 546 00:26:43,680 --> 00:26:44,920 So hang on, hang on. 547 00:26:44,920 --> 00:26:47,080 That is a worse answer than your answer, I think. 548 00:26:47,080 --> 00:26:50,400 The best way to stop your toes from falling off is to cut them off 549 00:26:50,400 --> 00:26:54,400 before they get a chance. Don't give 'em the satisfaction! 550 00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:57,040 Don't give them the satisfaction. You cut off your toes first. 551 00:26:57,040 --> 00:27:00,200 Apparently... If you're watching at home, get rid of them all! 552 00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,200 Apparently, with this particular condition, it is less painful 553 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:05,240 to amputate it and you are less likely 554 00:27:05,240 --> 00:27:07,040 to have the wound become infected, 555 00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:10,880 so it is better, in this instance, to cut it off yourself. 556 00:27:10,880 --> 00:27:14,800 Well, I'm looking at the picture, I think he looks fine. Yeah. 557 00:27:14,800 --> 00:27:19,120 What quite trivial trick can stop you falling asleep at the wheel? 558 00:27:19,120 --> 00:27:22,440 You're driving late at night, I think heater up, 559 00:27:22,440 --> 00:27:27,160 mellow music on, the seat back, power nap. Yeah. 560 00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:30,840 Put on the cruise control, go, "Wake me up when we get to Birmingham." 561 00:27:30,840 --> 00:27:34,320 I was once on one of those superhighways in America, 562 00:27:34,320 --> 00:27:38,800 and I drove past a man who was fully asleep up against the window, 563 00:27:38,800 --> 00:27:42,200 like that, so I drove like crazy to get away from him, 564 00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:46,280 and I saw him at the next services, so clearly it was fine. 565 00:27:46,280 --> 00:27:48,960 You know the driver's on the other side in America? 566 00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:51,400 LAUGHTER 567 00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:58,960 Right, trivial trick to stop you falling asleep. 568 00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:00,480 We are going down under. 569 00:28:00,480 --> 00:28:04,440 Does anybody know the Bruce Highway, which is in Queensland? 570 00:28:04,440 --> 00:28:07,560 It's over 1,000 miles long, unbelievably boring, 571 00:28:07,560 --> 00:28:09,240 long dull stretches of road, 572 00:28:09,240 --> 00:28:11,840 and there is a big danger that drivers might nod off, 573 00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:16,320 so to keep motorists alert, the authorities pose trivia questions 574 00:28:16,320 --> 00:28:19,440 on special fatigue zone road signs, 575 00:28:19,440 --> 00:28:24,440 then the answer is a bit further on on another sign. 576 00:28:24,440 --> 00:28:27,920 So here are some of the questions that appear on the fatigue zone 577 00:28:27,920 --> 00:28:30,440 signs. What is a monotreme, anybody? 578 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,160 ALAN SNORES 579 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:36,840 It's any mammal that lays eggs. 580 00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,480 What made Gympie famous? 581 00:28:39,480 --> 00:28:41,160 It's a town in Queensland. 582 00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:42,560 Gold is the answer. 583 00:28:42,560 --> 00:28:45,160 Unbelievable gold field discovered in the 1860s. 584 00:28:45,160 --> 00:28:48,360 There's a risk of road rage in between the junctions, isn't there? 585 00:28:48,360 --> 00:28:51,280 Because if you're like, "What is a monotreme?!" 586 00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,240 Or what if you get off at the exit just before the answer. 587 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:56,640 Right? You'll never know. 588 00:28:56,640 --> 00:28:59,560 There must be someone that lives in that town going, "We'll never know." 589 00:28:59,560 --> 00:29:01,920 In the United States, at the start of the 20th century, 590 00:29:01,920 --> 00:29:05,440 the Farmers' Anti-Automobile Association, which I quite like, 591 00:29:05,440 --> 00:29:08,880 they wanted to have trick road signs, and the idea was that 592 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:12,000 they were going to read, "The speed limit this year is a secret. 593 00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:14,520 "Motorists breaking it will be fined $10." 594 00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:17,000 People believed it was a genuine rule, 595 00:29:17,000 --> 00:29:19,640 even though nobody had the power to enforce it. 596 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,640 I think that's great. The first man in Britain to be fined for speeding 597 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:25,600 was a man called Walter Arnold in 1896. 598 00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:28,000 He was doing 8mph. 599 00:29:28,000 --> 00:29:30,200 He's a maniac! 600 00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:31,520 Oh, Crazy Wally. 601 00:29:31,520 --> 00:29:34,360 They didn't even offer him a speed awareness course first? 602 00:29:34,360 --> 00:29:35,640 I know! It's ridiculous. 603 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,680 That is not actually him, but that is the same car he was driving. 604 00:29:38,680 --> 00:29:40,840 He was chased down by a policeman on a bicycle. 605 00:29:40,840 --> 00:29:42,240 LAUGHTER 606 00:29:42,240 --> 00:29:43,880 The actual speed limit was 2mph. 607 00:29:44,800 --> 00:29:47,240 He was fined a shilling for speeding, but he was fined 608 00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:50,640 five shillings for not having a man with a red flag in front of him. 609 00:29:50,640 --> 00:29:53,120 That's quite a lot slower than walking, isn't it? 610 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:54,680 Yeah, it's unbelievably slow, 611 00:29:54,680 --> 00:29:57,520 and in fact the law changed after he was brought to court in Kent. 612 00:29:57,520 --> 00:29:59,680 There is a 3D zebra crossing, 613 00:29:59,680 --> 00:30:02,000 I don't know if you have seen this, in North London. 614 00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:03,640 Yes, it's St John's Wood high street. 615 00:30:03,640 --> 00:30:05,000 Yes, we have got a photograph, 616 00:30:05,000 --> 00:30:07,640 you can see the difference depending on which angle you come at it. 617 00:30:07,640 --> 00:30:09,360 Really clever, isn't it? 618 00:30:09,360 --> 00:30:10,400 It's near my house. 619 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:13,240 We are actually saving up for a 3D Beatles to walk across. 620 00:30:16,840 --> 00:30:20,360 Fun fact, when they first unveiled this, they used a painted curtain. 621 00:30:23,120 --> 00:30:25,160 One of my favourite facts about driving, 622 00:30:25,160 --> 00:30:29,520 one of the worst traffic jams ever recorded was in Beijing in 2010, 623 00:30:29,520 --> 00:30:32,480 and it was 62 miles long, 624 00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:34,880 and it lasted for 12 days. 625 00:30:34,880 --> 00:30:38,200 Part of the problem was heavy lorries were heading into the city 626 00:30:38,200 --> 00:30:40,720 as part of a road construction programme 627 00:30:40,720 --> 00:30:42,600 intended to ease traffic problems. 628 00:30:44,480 --> 00:30:47,760 I really love that by that zebra crossing is an optician's, 629 00:30:47,760 --> 00:30:50,600 it's really funny to me that... Oh, yes, that's very good. 630 00:30:50,600 --> 00:30:53,160 You see this, go, "Thank God, I need one!" 631 00:30:53,160 --> 00:30:55,320 I always thought if I opened an optician's, 632 00:30:55,320 --> 00:30:57,320 I would do the shop sign in a blurry font. 633 00:30:58,720 --> 00:31:01,720 Right, as it happens, I've been to the optician's, 634 00:31:01,720 --> 00:31:05,040 there we are, and I have treated myself to a new pair... 635 00:31:05,040 --> 00:31:06,840 ..of glasses, OK? 636 00:31:06,840 --> 00:31:10,040 So a little bit like Clark Kent, I'm going to put them on, OK? 637 00:31:10,040 --> 00:31:12,000 Here is the trick. As soon as I put them on, 638 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:14,600 who do you think I look like now? 639 00:31:14,600 --> 00:31:15,920 AUDIENCE MEMBER: Prue Leith. 640 00:31:15,920 --> 00:31:17,400 Prue Leith is the right answer. 641 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:20,160 It's somebody badass. 642 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:22,560 It's a person who has killed more baddies on screen 643 00:31:22,560 --> 00:31:25,360 than any other actor. Oh... I'm going... 644 00:31:25,360 --> 00:31:26,880 I'm going John Wayne. 645 00:31:26,880 --> 00:31:29,040 It's Milla Jovovich! Oh... 646 00:31:29,040 --> 00:31:31,160 Look, do you not think? RIA: Really? 647 00:31:31,160 --> 00:31:32,200 ESHAAN: Yeah, yeah! 648 00:31:32,200 --> 00:31:33,640 THEY TALK OVER EACH OTHER 649 00:31:33,640 --> 00:31:34,840 Uncanny! Uncanny! 650 00:31:36,360 --> 00:31:37,880 She... What are we doing? 651 00:31:39,520 --> 00:31:41,520 What are we doing? What's going on here? 652 00:31:41,520 --> 00:31:43,840 What's going on? Yeah, OK. Do you know who she is? Yes. 653 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:46,840 She's not even wearing glasses. You know that, right? No, so... 654 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:52,800 She's the star of The Fifth Element, as well as the Resident Evil series, 655 00:31:52,800 --> 00:31:54,880 and she has killed a shedload of people. 656 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:58,920 So this is how you fool facial recognition, OK? 657 00:31:58,920 --> 00:32:02,640 In 2016, the researchers at Carnegie Mellon University 658 00:32:02,640 --> 00:32:06,040 found that they could trick facial recognition software into 659 00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:09,640 mistaking their identity by using a pair of colourful glasses. OK? 660 00:32:09,640 --> 00:32:14,040 And they were able to have a middle-aged male researcher 661 00:32:14,040 --> 00:32:17,720 be mistaken by the software as Milla Jovovich, OK? 662 00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,080 And this is what the glasses look like... 663 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:21,960 I think I slept with the wrong person. 664 00:32:24,880 --> 00:32:27,680 If it makes you feel any better, Jimmy, so do they. 665 00:32:29,440 --> 00:32:31,480 APPLAUSE 666 00:32:33,800 --> 00:32:36,960 The way facial recognition software works is it doesn't know 667 00:32:36,960 --> 00:32:39,520 if it's looking for a tiny image in a great big picture 668 00:32:39,520 --> 00:32:42,120 or it's looking for an image that's filling the entire picture. 669 00:32:42,120 --> 00:32:45,440 It's looking for little bits of specifics that then it says, 670 00:32:45,440 --> 00:32:46,840 "Yes, that's that person." 671 00:32:46,840 --> 00:32:49,280 So it looks for a particular shape of an eyebrow, 672 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,280 it looks for a particular shape of a cheekbone. 673 00:32:51,280 --> 00:32:54,520 It is possible to compress all of that information down 674 00:32:54,520 --> 00:32:57,880 into a section of the frame of the glasses. 675 00:32:57,880 --> 00:33:00,120 And what'll happen is the computer will say, 676 00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:02,160 "Oh, I've found the things I'm looking for." Oh! 677 00:33:02,160 --> 00:33:06,520 It'll ignore, entirely, the face that is actually wearing the glasses 678 00:33:06,520 --> 00:33:09,880 because it feels it has already found the person. 679 00:33:09,880 --> 00:33:13,200 You don't have to do that Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible - 680 00:33:13,200 --> 00:33:15,200 where you peel your face off any more? 681 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:18,040 You just put on a ridiculous pair of glasses and get in anyway? 682 00:33:18,040 --> 00:33:20,520 Can I ask a question about facial recognition? Yeah. 683 00:33:20,520 --> 00:33:22,240 Do they have it in Scandinavia, 684 00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:24,480 where all the people look exactly the same? 685 00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:28,960 Definitely somebody over here's going to win. 686 00:33:28,960 --> 00:33:31,600 JIMMY LAUGHS 687 00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:35,240 So the spectacles could possibly trick facial recognition software 688 00:33:35,240 --> 00:33:37,480 into making them think you're somebody else. 689 00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:40,280 You probably couldn't open Milla's phone or her laptop, 690 00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:43,480 but you could certainly... I can definitely open Romesh's. 691 00:33:44,800 --> 00:33:46,360 APPLAUSE 692 00:33:48,520 --> 00:33:51,280 The easier trick than getting a special pair of glasses made 693 00:33:51,280 --> 00:33:52,640 is to use make-up. 694 00:33:52,640 --> 00:33:55,600 Sometimes it makes the person entirely invisible to a computer. 695 00:33:55,600 --> 00:33:58,160 When the next pandemic comes and it's spread through the eyes, 696 00:33:58,160 --> 00:34:01,720 and we have to put masks on the eyes, computers are... 697 00:34:01,720 --> 00:34:03,120 ..screwed, really. 698 00:34:03,120 --> 00:34:05,400 I think we're all in quite a lot of trouble. 699 00:34:06,640 --> 00:34:10,200 Right, quite enough tricks, I think. It must be time for some treats. 700 00:34:10,200 --> 00:34:13,800 Does the Sound Of Music leave a bitter taste in the mouth? 701 00:34:13,800 --> 00:34:15,360 Is it a chemical thing? 702 00:34:15,360 --> 00:34:17,720 It is a chemical thing, absolutely, 703 00:34:17,720 --> 00:34:20,560 has nothing to do with the film, which is my favourite film ever, 704 00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:22,360 can I just say? Love this film. 705 00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:24,480 I'm going to ask you to eat some chocolate, 706 00:34:24,480 --> 00:34:27,320 so if you look beside you, there's going to be a small plate. 707 00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:28,600 Right. 708 00:34:28,600 --> 00:34:30,800 There should be a piece of chocolate marked A, 709 00:34:30,800 --> 00:34:33,360 and a piece of chocolate marked B, is that correct? 710 00:34:33,360 --> 00:34:34,640 Yes. 711 00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,520 What you're going to do is eat the chocolate 712 00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:40,000 while listening to different kinds of music. 713 00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,040 Thank you very much. OK. 714 00:34:42,040 --> 00:34:45,200 So I want you to eat chocolate A first, please, 715 00:34:45,200 --> 00:34:47,560 while listening to this. 716 00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:50,280 GENTLE MUSIC 717 00:34:56,960 --> 00:34:58,800 Nice? 718 00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:01,840 So that was a lovely little bit of legato music there. 719 00:35:01,840 --> 00:35:04,960 Now let us listen to some staccato music 720 00:35:04,960 --> 00:35:06,680 while eating chocolate B, please. 721 00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:09,320 LOUD ANGRY MUSIC 722 00:35:17,440 --> 00:35:19,080 That's so weird! 723 00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:20,720 Different? Yeah. 724 00:35:20,720 --> 00:35:22,120 OK. It is different. 725 00:35:23,640 --> 00:35:26,960 The first one tasted really bitter, and this one doesn't! 726 00:35:26,960 --> 00:35:30,400 OK. I got sweeter on the first one. Sweeter on the first one? 727 00:35:30,400 --> 00:35:32,200 I got more bitter on A. 728 00:35:32,200 --> 00:35:35,520 Most people find the legato music, the first music we listened to, 729 00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:37,720 makes chocolate taste sweeter, 730 00:35:37,720 --> 00:35:41,160 but the fact is you feel there was a difference in the taste. 731 00:35:41,160 --> 00:35:43,120 Yeah. It's the same chocolate. 732 00:35:43,120 --> 00:35:44,880 Well, is it, though? 733 00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:46,680 Because this one says B. 734 00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:50,720 I don't think you can really argue with those kind of facts. 735 00:35:50,720 --> 00:35:53,200 It's exactly the same chocolate, taken from the same bar. 736 00:35:53,200 --> 00:35:55,080 The taste is very influenced by sound, 737 00:35:55,080 --> 00:35:58,880 and in many instances, listening to that sort of soft lovely music 738 00:35:58,880 --> 00:36:01,240 will make you think it's sweeter and creamier, 739 00:36:01,240 --> 00:36:04,680 and listen to staccato music makes it taste bitter. That's amazing. 740 00:36:04,680 --> 00:36:08,200 Can I be scientifically pedantic and say that we really should be 741 00:36:08,200 --> 00:36:11,880 listening to music A with chocolate B and music B with chocolate A 742 00:36:11,880 --> 00:36:14,560 before we can really...? OK. Oh, yeah, we should, really. 743 00:36:14,560 --> 00:36:16,200 Sorry, everyone. 744 00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:20,760 Who prefers bitter-tasting chocolate to sweet? 745 00:36:20,760 --> 00:36:22,000 Yeah, I like a bit... 746 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:23,840 Yeah. Probably a psychopath. So... 747 00:36:25,200 --> 00:36:27,560 I don't think there's any debate there, really. 748 00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,280 No, I was just confirming. 749 00:36:29,280 --> 00:36:32,160 The Austrian psychologist who studied this in 2016 750 00:36:32,160 --> 00:36:33,760 found that a penchant for bitterness 751 00:36:33,760 --> 00:36:36,440 was connected to malevolent personality traits. 752 00:36:38,840 --> 00:36:40,680 SCATTERED APPLAUSE 753 00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:44,240 I'm glad they're researching me. I hope they find the problem. 754 00:36:44,240 --> 00:36:48,000 Because people who like bitter food are also extroverts, on the whole, 755 00:36:48,000 --> 00:36:50,760 who search out new experiences. 756 00:36:50,760 --> 00:36:54,600 Now, for one final round of What's The Treatment, Sandi? 757 00:36:54,600 --> 00:36:56,480 JAUNTY MUSIC 758 00:37:00,000 --> 00:37:01,080 Love this! 759 00:37:01,080 --> 00:37:03,560 What do you treat by shoving a piece of cloth up your nose 760 00:37:03,560 --> 00:37:05,080 and setting fire to it? 761 00:37:06,760 --> 00:37:09,600 If you're in certain parts of the US, that's how you cure Covid. 762 00:37:11,520 --> 00:37:13,280 APPLAUSE 763 00:37:15,040 --> 00:37:16,800 It's excessive sleeping. 764 00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,360 I mean, I have to say, it's an attempted cure. Wha...?! 765 00:37:19,360 --> 00:37:20,640 It... I know. Yeah! 766 00:37:20,640 --> 00:37:22,920 Stay awake by setting your face on fire! 767 00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:25,800 Yeah. So... Sleep through this! 768 00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:27,160 Yeah. 769 00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,920 So we're going back a bit - 1738. We're going to France. 770 00:37:29,920 --> 00:37:32,200 There was a woman called Elizabeth Orion, 771 00:37:32,200 --> 00:37:34,720 and she started sleeping 18 hours a day, 772 00:37:34,720 --> 00:37:36,560 and literally nobody could wake her. 773 00:37:36,560 --> 00:37:39,240 And this went on for years and years and years until she was finally 774 00:37:39,240 --> 00:37:41,920 examined by a guy called Dr Brady, and he wanted to check out 775 00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:43,360 if she was faking it. 776 00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:45,560 So first he shouted really loudly at her. 777 00:37:45,560 --> 00:37:48,280 Then he stuck a pin in her flesh, right through to the bone and so on, 778 00:37:48,280 --> 00:37:51,120 and finally, he took a piece of cloth and he dipped it in alcohol, 779 00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:53,200 set fire to it, and shoved it up her nose. 780 00:37:53,200 --> 00:37:56,200 She slept through the whole thing, 781 00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:59,320 and then eventually woke up completely naturally - 782 00:37:59,320 --> 00:38:02,440 I love this - "ate heartily and did some spinning". 783 00:38:03,560 --> 00:38:05,560 Was her nose or face not singed? 784 00:38:05,560 --> 00:38:06,720 Well, I don't really know, 785 00:38:06,720 --> 00:38:08,840 because the villagers had done all sorts of things. 786 00:38:08,840 --> 00:38:11,320 They had, at one point, rubbed her back in honey 787 00:38:11,320 --> 00:38:14,120 and laid her in front of a beehive on a hot day. 788 00:38:16,280 --> 00:38:17,880 I mean, really?! 789 00:38:17,880 --> 00:38:20,440 Was there a fraternity? Yeah, why...?! 790 00:38:20,440 --> 00:38:22,280 They just hated her sleeping. 791 00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:24,480 And I don't know what the outcome was. 792 00:38:24,480 --> 00:38:25,960 I love these old cures, though. 793 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:29,120 There was a 13th century physician called Bernard de Gordon, 794 00:38:29,120 --> 00:38:32,720 and his recommendation for jolting somebody out of a coma 795 00:38:32,720 --> 00:38:35,440 was to hold a squealing pig in their face. 796 00:38:36,960 --> 00:38:38,920 I mean, you could be tempted, couldn't you? 797 00:38:38,920 --> 00:38:41,760 I could see it happening. If that works, brilliant, you're a genius. 798 00:38:41,760 --> 00:38:44,480 If not, you're a doctor with a pig, going home. Yeah! Perfect. 799 00:38:44,480 --> 00:38:47,400 "I didn't manage to wake her, love, but we're having bacon tomorrow." 800 00:38:47,400 --> 00:38:50,320 Yeah. "Lend me a pig." "Wake up and smell the bacon!" Yeah. 801 00:38:50,320 --> 00:38:51,840 CHEERING 802 00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,680 Let's now treat ourselves to a round of General Ignorance. 803 00:38:54,680 --> 00:38:56,200 Fingers on buzzers, please. 804 00:38:56,200 --> 00:38:57,800 Which has most body fat - 805 00:38:57,800 --> 00:39:01,560 a human, a pig, a cow, a walrus, or an elephant? 806 00:39:01,560 --> 00:39:03,880 Depends who you're talking about, really. 807 00:39:03,880 --> 00:39:05,920 Walrus. Oh... 808 00:39:05,920 --> 00:39:07,880 KLAXON 809 00:39:09,040 --> 00:39:12,040 Are we talking about as a percentage or actual quantity of fat? 810 00:39:12,040 --> 00:39:13,800 So proportional to size, OK, 811 00:39:13,800 --> 00:39:16,720 it is the percentage of body fat content. 812 00:39:16,720 --> 00:39:20,000 A human? It is a human. It is absolutely a human. 813 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:23,200 Most humans have higher body fat than an elephant. 814 00:39:23,200 --> 00:39:25,200 Well, I want to retract that forfeit, 815 00:39:25,200 --> 00:39:27,320 because the question wasn't properly worded. 816 00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:29,000 APPLAUSE 817 00:39:29,000 --> 00:39:30,760 Worth a try! 818 00:39:34,920 --> 00:39:36,480 I've had a terrible day. 819 00:39:37,760 --> 00:39:40,440 If you're a professional athlete, it's different. If you're... 820 00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:42,440 What's he called, Ronaldo? Ronaldo. Yeah. 821 00:39:42,440 --> 00:39:44,800 Hungry, hungry Ronaldo, he's called. Yes. 822 00:39:44,800 --> 00:39:48,000 But he's very lean. He's about 7% body fat, so... 823 00:39:48,000 --> 00:39:49,960 He's always in a cryo chamber. Yeah. 824 00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:52,800 Freezing! He's got all his toes. Yeah. It works! 825 00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:56,640 Yeah, it works! Inflammation cannot exist at those temperatures. 826 00:39:56,640 --> 00:39:58,480 That's what I was told. Oh. 827 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:00,160 OK. Erm... 828 00:40:02,320 --> 00:40:04,520 I read a book about it! Yeah! 829 00:40:04,520 --> 00:40:07,720 What they were examining was low fertility in captive elephants, 830 00:40:07,720 --> 00:40:09,920 and they thought it might be something to do with diet 831 00:40:09,920 --> 00:40:12,160 and an obesity issue, but it isn't that. 832 00:40:12,160 --> 00:40:14,600 The animals are perfectly lean. Actually, it's stress. 833 00:40:14,600 --> 00:40:18,040 But humans are sometimes known as the fat primate, so our... 834 00:40:18,040 --> 00:40:19,760 Who's calling us that? 835 00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:23,400 That's one of us! That's one of our own, Sandi. 836 00:40:24,560 --> 00:40:26,920 That's got to... That's definitely not any of them. 837 00:40:26,920 --> 00:40:29,640 A cow didn't say that about us! I won't have it. 838 00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:31,240 One of us has turned on us. 839 00:40:32,760 --> 00:40:36,040 I think it's the bonobos - that's our nearest relative, the bonobos. 840 00:40:36,040 --> 00:40:38,880 The bonobos? "Here they come, the fat primate." Yeah. 841 00:40:40,360 --> 00:40:43,760 "Have a...banana, you fat so-and-so." 842 00:40:43,760 --> 00:40:45,920 What about blue whales? What do you reckon? 843 00:40:45,920 --> 00:40:47,840 There's barely an ounce of fat on them. 844 00:40:47,840 --> 00:40:49,960 They're lean and trim like Usain Bolt. 845 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:53,040 No, they are fatter than us, way fatter. They're... 846 00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:55,120 They're hugely fat. Very, very fat. 847 00:40:57,120 --> 00:40:59,840 They could fill the dome of St Paul's Cathedral 848 00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:01,440 with the fat of a single whale bleu. 849 00:41:01,440 --> 00:41:03,320 This is one of those facts where you just go, 850 00:41:03,320 --> 00:41:05,520 "This is weird, but it's quite interesting anyway" - 851 00:41:05,520 --> 00:41:08,800 if you took all the fat in a sort of larger blue whale, 852 00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:11,480 it would weigh too much to be legally transported 853 00:41:11,480 --> 00:41:12,920 on British roads. 854 00:41:14,480 --> 00:41:16,880 Which is one of the reasons I don't do it any more. Yeah. 855 00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:19,800 What's the other stuff they've got in them? Is it amberglass? 856 00:41:19,800 --> 00:41:21,440 Ambergris. Ambergris. Yeah. 857 00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:23,920 Which is... Is that the most expensive thing? 858 00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:26,200 It's vomit. It's incredibly expensive, yeah. 859 00:41:26,200 --> 00:41:27,960 Cos it's used in perfumes. 860 00:41:27,960 --> 00:41:30,560 That's in Moby-Dick. You've been reading that, haven't you? 861 00:41:30,560 --> 00:41:32,960 Yeah, a bit of Moby-Dick. It's my third book. 862 00:41:32,960 --> 00:41:34,840 LAUGHTER 863 00:41:34,840 --> 00:41:38,000 It turns out humans are a lot fatter than most other animals. 864 00:41:38,000 --> 00:41:40,560 More than 150 years ago, which American holiday 865 00:41:40,560 --> 00:41:43,880 had people dressed in scary masks, giving candy to children, 866 00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:46,520 and pulling pranks on unsuspecting passers-by? 867 00:41:46,520 --> 00:41:47,960 Halloween. 868 00:41:47,960 --> 00:41:49,840 KLAXON 869 00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:55,520 It is now, but it used to be Thanksgiving Masking, 870 00:41:55,520 --> 00:41:58,280 and it comes from much older traditions which come from Europe. 871 00:41:58,280 --> 00:42:00,640 "Mumming," you every heard about mumming? 872 00:42:00,640 --> 00:42:02,440 Which is basically going door to door.. 873 00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:05,080 That's an internet search I don't want to tell you about. 874 00:42:05,080 --> 00:42:08,200 ..asking for food or money sometimes in exchange for a song. 875 00:42:08,200 --> 00:42:10,920 It's a very, very, very old tradition. 876 00:42:10,920 --> 00:42:14,360 Called mumming? Mumming? Yeah, probably named after Momus. 877 00:42:14,360 --> 00:42:16,880 This is back to your Greek mythology, so probably not true. 878 00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:19,080 Probably a lie. He was the persona... 879 00:42:19,080 --> 00:42:20,880 They never even HAD buckets! No. 880 00:42:25,160 --> 00:42:28,400 Which brings us nicely to the end of our Trick And Treat show, 881 00:42:28,400 --> 00:42:30,560 so let's see who's got a bucket of candy 882 00:42:30,560 --> 00:42:33,480 and who's going to be pelted with eggs. 883 00:42:33,480 --> 00:42:36,840 In last place, falling for every trick in the book with -26, 884 00:42:36,840 --> 00:42:38,960 it's Alan! Oh... 885 00:42:38,960 --> 00:42:41,080 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 886 00:42:41,080 --> 00:42:42,320 So rude! 887 00:42:43,360 --> 00:42:45,920 In third place with -9, Eshaan! 888 00:42:45,920 --> 00:42:47,320 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 889 00:42:49,800 --> 00:42:52,760 In second place, with a very creditable +3 points, 890 00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:55,080 it's Jimmy. Look at that! Three! 891 00:42:55,080 --> 00:42:57,880 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 892 00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:00,600 One for every book I've read. 893 00:43:00,600 --> 00:43:03,080 And our winner, never missed a trick, 894 00:43:03,080 --> 00:43:05,840 it's Milla Jovovich... No, it's Ria! 895 00:43:05,840 --> 00:43:08,320 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 896 00:43:14,240 --> 00:43:17,080 And our thanks to Ria, Jimmy, Eshaan, and Alan, 897 00:43:17,080 --> 00:43:20,280 and I leave you with this trick to live by from WC Fields. 898 00:43:20,280 --> 00:43:23,720 "Always carry a flagon of whisky in case of snakebite, 899 00:43:23,720 --> 00:43:25,280 "and furthermore, 900 00:43:25,280 --> 00:43:27,040 "always carry a small snake." 901 00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:28,480 Thank you. Goodnight. 902 00:43:28,480 --> 00:43:31,840 APPLAUSE