1 00:00:22,400 --> 00:00:25,360 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 2 00:00:33,200 --> 00:00:36,760 Hello and welcome to QI. 3 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:40,360 Prepare yourself for tiffs, travesties and tear-jerkers 4 00:00:40,360 --> 00:00:43,480 because tonight, we've gone all theatrical. 5 00:00:43,480 --> 00:00:46,880 Turn off your telephones for our dramatis personae. 6 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:49,640 The tragic hero, Ed Byrne. 7 00:00:49,640 --> 00:00:53,000 APPLAUSE 8 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,440 Best tortured artist, Jack Dee. 9 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:59,120 APPLAUSE 10 00:00:59,120 --> 00:01:01,800 Tonight's leading lady, Cally Beaton. 11 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,280 APPLAUSE 12 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:06,280 And understudying the part of Alan Davies, 13 00:01:06,280 --> 00:01:07,520 it's Alan Davies. 14 00:01:07,520 --> 00:01:09,280 APPLAUSE 15 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,360 Now, if they want my attention, they'll need their show stoppers, 16 00:01:17,360 --> 00:01:19,120 so Ed goes... 17 00:01:19,120 --> 00:01:23,120 BOOMING THUDS 18 00:01:23,120 --> 00:01:26,800 Fee fi fo fum! 19 00:01:26,800 --> 00:01:28,680 Jack goes... 20 00:01:28,680 --> 00:01:31,800 Cinderella, you shall go to the ball! 21 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:34,480 Cally goes... 22 00:01:34,480 --> 00:01:36,920 FANFARE 23 00:01:36,920 --> 00:01:38,520 Lord Mayor of London! 24 00:01:38,520 --> 00:01:40,160 And Alan goes... 25 00:01:40,160 --> 00:01:44,680 To be or not to be? That is the question. 26 00:01:44,680 --> 00:01:47,240 Oh, no, it isn't! 27 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:50,760 So much for the prologue. 28 00:01:50,760 --> 00:01:51,920 Now it's time for Act One. 29 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:55,960 What's the most interesting thing to ever happen in a theatre? 30 00:01:55,960 --> 00:01:59,240 Is it when Godot actually turned up? 31 00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:01,280 I mean, Lincoln was assassinated in a theatre. 32 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:02,640 That was pretty interesting. 33 00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:04,320 Not interesting to him, though, was it? 34 00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:07,200 No. Just the thing the actors said afterwards, 35 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:10,280 "Apart from that, Mrs Lincoln, did you enjoy the play?" 36 00:02:10,280 --> 00:02:11,360 There's been a few. 37 00:02:11,360 --> 00:02:14,840 Didn't Moliere die in a performance of one of his plays? 38 00:02:14,840 --> 00:02:16,440 He died in The Hypochondriac. Yeah. 39 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,760 And he had said he wasn't feeling well! There you go. 40 00:02:18,760 --> 00:02:20,160 LAUGHTER 41 00:02:20,160 --> 00:02:22,120 I was at the theatre with a boyfriend 42 00:02:22,120 --> 00:02:24,400 who was quite distinctive-looking. 43 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:25,520 It was Les Mis. 44 00:02:25,520 --> 00:02:28,600 I whizzed out to the loo and whizzed back into my aisle seat, 45 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:30,600 held his inner thigh lovingly. 46 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:31,640 It wasn't him. Er... 47 00:02:33,200 --> 00:02:36,600 And it took until I Dreamed A Dream for him to tell me, so... 48 00:02:38,600 --> 00:02:40,880 Ooh, that's a long way in, isn't it? 49 00:02:40,880 --> 00:02:42,520 I meant the show. OK... 50 00:02:44,720 --> 00:02:48,200 OK, possibly one of the most interesting things to ever happen 51 00:02:48,200 --> 00:02:51,040 in the theatre is the founding of Belgium. 52 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:54,640 So there is an opera by a French composer called Daniel Auber called 53 00:02:54,640 --> 00:02:57,000 La Muette de Portici. 54 00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:59,800 It's about a group of fishermen in Naples and they rebel 55 00:02:59,800 --> 00:03:02,240 against their Spanish rulers in the 17th century. 56 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,280 It climaxes with the eruption of Mount Vesuvius and the heroine 57 00:03:05,280 --> 00:03:07,280 throws herself from the balcony into the lava. 58 00:03:07,280 --> 00:03:08,640 Real lava? 59 00:03:08,640 --> 00:03:13,280 I mean, that would only be one performance... Yeah! 60 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:16,680 Anyway, the opera was performed in 1830 in Brussels, 61 00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,960 so at the time, Belgium belonged to the Netherlands 62 00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:20,680 and revolution was in the air. 63 00:03:20,680 --> 00:03:24,320 And there is a particularly stirring aria called 64 00:03:24,320 --> 00:03:26,360 Sacred Love Of The Homeland, 65 00:03:26,360 --> 00:03:29,720 and apparently after it was sung, the crowd poured out of the theatre, 66 00:03:29,720 --> 00:03:32,800 they joined all the nationalist protests outside and, weeks later, 67 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,320 the rebel provisional government declared independence 68 00:03:35,320 --> 00:03:39,800 and Belgians claim that this opera was responsible for the creation 69 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:41,280 of their country, so... 70 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:44,200 It would be really interesting if it was another country 71 00:03:44,200 --> 00:03:48,040 other than Belgium. Right. Yeah. You know? 72 00:03:48,040 --> 00:03:50,960 So, yeah, before that night at the opera, 73 00:03:50,960 --> 00:03:53,080 posters had been hung up all over the city - 74 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:54,480 and I like this - it said, 75 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:56,160 "Monday the 23rd, fireworks. 76 00:03:56,160 --> 00:03:58,400 "Tuesday the 24th, illuminations. 77 00:03:58,400 --> 00:04:00,560 "Wednesday the 25th, revolution." 78 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:03,600 Heh! Ah! This was French Belgium, then. Was it done in... 79 00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:05,320 Cos you know I speak Dutch. 80 00:04:05,320 --> 00:04:06,800 Incredibly useful life skill. 81 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:10,520 Yeah. They have a funny Flemish saying and it goes, if something 82 00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,200 tastes delicious, they say, 83 00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,760 "Alsof er een engeltje op je tong piest" - 84 00:04:14,760 --> 00:04:18,280 "As if a little angel is pissing on my tongue," 85 00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:22,400 so thank goodness... That's it if it tastes delicious they say that? 86 00:04:22,400 --> 00:04:24,200 What if something doesn't taste nice? 87 00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,200 Well, we don't want to go there, I think. 88 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,120 They do have the same word for "sex" and "poo". 89 00:04:30,120 --> 00:04:32,640 They say, "..poepen" - "I want to have sex with you," 90 00:04:32,640 --> 00:04:34,920 same word as "poo", so... let's not go there now. 91 00:04:34,920 --> 00:04:36,640 Right. "I just thought I'd say that!" 92 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:39,360 A country that has the same word for "sex" and "poo" 93 00:04:39,360 --> 00:04:42,000 is a country I don't want to visit. 94 00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,920 You'd have to be really sure of the context 95 00:04:43,920 --> 00:04:45,120 of that sentence, wouldn't you? 96 00:04:45,120 --> 00:04:46,400 "What did he just say? 97 00:04:46,400 --> 00:04:48,640 "What's happening here? Is it sex or poo?" 98 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:51,160 That's how my first child was conceived, so... 99 00:04:51,160 --> 00:04:52,760 Yeah. 100 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:57,840 I did a stand-up gig in Antwerp and I asked if anyone spoke French, 101 00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:02,680 and I've never, with a single line, created such a hostile atmosphere. 102 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:06,680 When you're on the stage, you don't want to turn them. 103 00:05:06,680 --> 00:05:07,720 No. 104 00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:11,240 And the idea that anyone would admit publicly that they spoke French... 105 00:05:11,240 --> 00:05:14,080 That was enough. So how have they kept this place together? 106 00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,680 Cos they hated the opera. 107 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:18,960 And then when they came out, now they haven't got on for 200 years. 108 00:05:18,960 --> 00:05:20,880 I mean, I'm going to guess that the opera was not 109 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:24,280 really what caused it all, but it is a wonderful bourgeois explanation, 110 00:05:24,280 --> 00:05:25,880 isn't it, of the founding of a country? 111 00:05:25,880 --> 00:05:28,400 "Ah, yes, it was that night at the opera. Absolutely." 112 00:05:28,400 --> 00:05:30,480 We've had our own kind of rioting in theatre. 113 00:05:30,480 --> 00:05:34,600 So in 1808, Covent Garden Theatre burnt down and, a year later, 114 00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:37,160 they rebuilt it, and in order to offset the huge cost of the 115 00:05:37,160 --> 00:05:40,520 rebuilding, they decided that they would put up ticket prices. 116 00:05:40,520 --> 00:05:41,720 They'd increased all the prices, 117 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:44,880 they'd reduced the areas where poor people could sit and they'd 118 00:05:44,880 --> 00:05:47,160 increased the number of very expensive boxes 119 00:05:47,160 --> 00:05:48,280 for the very wealthy, 120 00:05:48,280 --> 00:05:51,200 and this led to the Old Price Riots. 121 00:05:51,200 --> 00:05:53,560 Why didn't they just do what they do now... What? 122 00:05:53,560 --> 00:05:55,840 ..and just introduce an "administration fee" 123 00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:57,440 on top of the ticket price? 124 00:05:57,440 --> 00:05:59,400 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 125 00:06:04,760 --> 00:06:06,880 Look at the touring comedians nodding! 126 00:06:08,760 --> 00:06:09,920 This went on for three months. 127 00:06:09,920 --> 00:06:12,160 The police were called, the Riot Act was read from the stage 128 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:13,280 and then there was some doubt - 129 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:15,840 could you arrest people who'd bought a ticket to come in 130 00:06:15,840 --> 00:06:17,680 because they'd bought a ticket to be there? 131 00:06:17,680 --> 00:06:19,560 The people who rioted, they brought frying pans. 132 00:06:19,560 --> 00:06:23,280 They were dedicated, banging the frying pans. Boxers were brought... 133 00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:24,600 Oh, banging the frying pans? Oh, yeah. 134 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:26,560 I thought they were... No. 135 00:06:26,560 --> 00:06:28,840 They just didn't bring them along in case there was another fire. 136 00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:30,240 Yeah. 137 00:06:30,240 --> 00:06:32,240 That's a very good idea. 138 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,800 When I was a child in New York, I lived in a very small town called 139 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:38,200 Mamaroneck and we had a volunteer fire department, 140 00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:40,680 and there was a very smart restaurant that burnt down, 141 00:06:40,680 --> 00:06:42,760 and when they realised that we couldn't save it, 142 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:44,520 they just waited for all the chickens to cook 143 00:06:44,520 --> 00:06:46,080 before they put the fire... 144 00:06:47,480 --> 00:06:50,120 But one of the main complaints, and it was all classes 145 00:06:50,120 --> 00:06:52,080 that complained, but there were places that were known 146 00:06:52,080 --> 00:06:54,040 as pigeonholes where you sat, it was the cheapest seats. 147 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,320 You could only see the legs of the actors. 148 00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:58,240 It'd be fine if you were going to see Riverdance. 149 00:06:58,240 --> 00:06:59,280 Yeah. 150 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:02,280 But they won. They won. 151 00:07:02,280 --> 00:07:04,360 The rioters won and the prices were reduced again, 152 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:06,840 back to the old prices, so the Old Price Riots... 153 00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:09,040 Three months. That's spectacular. 154 00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:12,040 And this picture here is of a rather radical barrister 155 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:13,520 called Henry Clifford. 156 00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:16,840 He's got written on his spectacles, "No private boxes." 157 00:07:16,840 --> 00:07:18,400 Was that a thing, too, then? Yeah. 158 00:07:18,400 --> 00:07:20,200 So what the people who owned the theatre wanted 159 00:07:20,200 --> 00:07:22,600 was to have private boxes lavishly decorated, 160 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:23,800 where the wealthy would sit. 161 00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,480 This is very much like Premier League football, 162 00:07:26,480 --> 00:07:28,560 pricing out the poor people. 163 00:07:28,560 --> 00:07:31,160 Yes. Bringing in the corporates. Yes, exactly. Ugh! 164 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:33,560 CLAPPING 165 00:07:33,560 --> 00:07:35,440 Yes! Two people clapped then! 166 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:37,080 APPLAUSE 167 00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:42,640 Don't hold back! It helps, cos after that Antwerp gig, 168 00:07:42,640 --> 00:07:43,800 he's still a bit... 169 00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:47,720 Other plays which have caused absolute furore - 170 00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:49,560 before becoming a Hollywood star, 171 00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:53,240 the great Mae West appeared in a play on Broadway, it was called 172 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,000 Sex, which I think gives you an idea of what it was about. 173 00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,280 It was 1926. 174 00:07:57,280 --> 00:08:00,040 She wrote it, she produced it, she was in it, she directed it. 175 00:08:00,040 --> 00:08:02,040 This is a publicity shot from Sex. 176 00:08:02,040 --> 00:08:04,760 And in those days, you were not allowed, a man and a woman were not 177 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,960 allowed to do horizontal kissing. Mm-hm. 178 00:08:06,960 --> 00:08:08,880 You had to have one foot on the ground, didn't you? 179 00:08:08,880 --> 00:08:10,560 Just like snooker. 180 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:15,120 It's exactly like snooker. 181 00:08:15,120 --> 00:08:16,160 APPLAUSE 182 00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,960 It was very popular and the entire cast was eventually arrested 183 00:08:23,960 --> 00:08:25,800 for indecency, and Mae West... 184 00:08:25,800 --> 00:08:30,440 Because of their involvement in the play or just coincidentally? 185 00:08:31,840 --> 00:08:34,640 They all got arrested and she was offered the chance to just pay 186 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:37,400 a fine, but, of course, she thought it was a great publicity stunt, 187 00:08:37,400 --> 00:08:40,400 this scandal, so she decided to go to prison 188 00:08:40,400 --> 00:08:43,720 and she went to New York's Welfare Island in a limo - 189 00:08:43,720 --> 00:08:46,920 it's now called Roosevelt Island - wearing a spectacular outfit. 190 00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:49,840 The warden, of course, was overwhelmed to have Mae West there 191 00:08:49,840 --> 00:08:52,720 and so she had dinner with him and his wife, 192 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:54,280 and she leaked to the press - 193 00:08:54,280 --> 00:08:56,400 there's the warden, Henry O Schleth - 194 00:08:56,400 --> 00:08:58,680 she leaked that under her prison uniform, she was wearing 195 00:08:58,680 --> 00:08:59,960 the finest silk underwear. 196 00:08:59,960 --> 00:09:05,000 It was absolutely, you know, publicity made in heaven, frankly. 197 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,120 Did you say "Welfare Island"? 198 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:08,800 Well, it used to be called Welfare Island. 199 00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:10,760 Isn't that a documentary on Channel 4? 200 00:09:12,720 --> 00:09:15,600 Now, criminologist Professor John Pitts once said, 201 00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:19,040 "You cannot riot on your own, a one-man riot is a tantrum," 202 00:09:19,040 --> 00:09:23,960 so tell me, how do you tackle a toddler's tantrum? 203 00:09:23,960 --> 00:09:25,120 Any thoughts? 204 00:09:25,120 --> 00:09:30,560 One useful way that I discovered is you carry a hessian sack 205 00:09:30,560 --> 00:09:33,800 around with you and just put it over the toddler. 206 00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,200 Yeah. It can't be plastic cos obviously that's bad 207 00:09:36,200 --> 00:09:38,200 for the environment... Yeah. ..but... 208 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:42,960 You know, hessian, hessian sack is enough. 209 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:46,880 And also, you can also whisper through it saying, 210 00:09:46,880 --> 00:09:49,360 "I'm going to throw you in the Thames in a minute." 211 00:09:51,640 --> 00:09:53,960 I don't want to keep banging on about Holland, but they have 212 00:09:53,960 --> 00:09:56,320 St Nicholas, Sinterklaas, celebrations and they do, 213 00:09:56,320 --> 00:09:59,360 they threaten to take the children away in a hessian sack, so... 214 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:01,240 Is that a thing? It's an actual thing. Yeah. 215 00:10:01,240 --> 00:10:03,600 There was everyone thinking I was weird. Yeah. 216 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:06,880 My tour manager once, 217 00:10:06,880 --> 00:10:09,400 his daughter threw a tantrum 218 00:10:09,400 --> 00:10:14,920 and he just started filming her on his phone and then played it back 219 00:10:14,920 --> 00:10:16,760 to her as she was having the tantrum. 220 00:10:16,760 --> 00:10:19,840 Right. And that worked. And that's how TikTok started. Yeah! 221 00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,280 And then she started laughing, 222 00:10:22,280 --> 00:10:23,920 watching the video of her own tantrum. 223 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:26,160 Well, that's not a bad idea, you see, cos one of the things 224 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:28,440 that happens in a tantrum, you get anger and sadness 225 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:29,720 at exactly the same moment, 226 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:32,440 and it's really hard to differentiate between the two. 227 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,360 It's like the menopause. It is. 228 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:40,680 It's also, rather like before, Premier League football. 229 00:10:40,680 --> 00:10:43,320 And the best thing to do is if you can move your toddler 230 00:10:43,320 --> 00:10:45,960 from their sort of anger into sadness, because then, 231 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,880 of course, a sad child thinks, "Oh, I just need to be comforted," 232 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:50,160 and it just seems to be better. 233 00:10:50,160 --> 00:10:53,440 The problem is that the prefrontal cortex in a toddler, the bit 234 00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:55,640 of the region of the brain that influences our sense of fairness 235 00:10:55,640 --> 00:10:58,920 and our impulse control zone, has yet to fully develop, 236 00:10:58,920 --> 00:11:02,560 and that's why, in general, children throw tantrums and adults don't. 237 00:11:02,560 --> 00:11:04,320 And also it's ridiculous as well, 238 00:11:04,320 --> 00:11:07,120 so it's hard not to laugh in their face when they're... 239 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:08,840 And that makes it even worse. 240 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,000 One of our daughters started with a dispute 241 00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,240 about what she was going to wear when she went out 242 00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:17,600 and Jane, my wife, said, "Look, you need to change the T-shirt 243 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:20,000 "cos it's filthy, it's got baked beans on it and we're going out, 244 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,280 "so we want you to change it." 245 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:24,840 And it got worse and worse to the point where she just blew up 246 00:11:24,840 --> 00:11:27,120 and just screamed at Jane. 247 00:11:27,120 --> 00:11:32,040 "Anyway, you think you're the fancy lady of all London town!" 248 00:11:34,360 --> 00:11:36,560 APPLAUSE 249 00:11:40,840 --> 00:11:43,360 One of the most cutting things my kid ever said to me, 250 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:46,400 when my youngest was very young, he was three or four years old, 251 00:11:46,400 --> 00:11:48,840 and he's always had this thing about wanting to be older 252 00:11:48,840 --> 00:11:49,920 and wanting to be a grown-up. 253 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,720 He was just really frustrated with it and he says, he just goes, 254 00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:55,080 "I wish I was a grown-up." 255 00:11:55,080 --> 00:11:58,160 And I said to him, I said, "Well, you know, when you're a grown-up, 256 00:11:58,160 --> 00:11:59,800 "you'll have to go to work." 257 00:11:59,800 --> 00:12:06,680 And he just paused, a perfect sitcom beat, and then went... 258 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:08,960 .."I wish I was a comedian." 259 00:12:10,360 --> 00:12:12,640 APPLAUSE 260 00:12:17,640 --> 00:12:19,520 We did time out. Did anybody else do that? 261 00:12:19,520 --> 00:12:20,760 Yeah, I would do time out. 262 00:12:20,760 --> 00:12:22,640 Leave them to it. 263 00:12:23,840 --> 00:12:25,160 We did time out with my son, 264 00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:27,720 if he didn't tidy his toys, he had to go and sit on the naughty step, 265 00:12:27,720 --> 00:12:29,680 and I found him one day on the naughty step 266 00:12:29,680 --> 00:12:31,600 and I hadn't said anything. I said, "What are you doing?" 267 00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:33,720 He said, "Oh, I can't be bothered to tidy." 268 00:12:36,920 --> 00:12:37,960 APPLAUSE 269 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:43,400 We had one like that, one that would do something 270 00:12:43,400 --> 00:12:46,880 and then before you could say anything at all, just walk defiantly 271 00:12:46,880 --> 00:12:48,560 to the naughty step. Yep. 272 00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:50,120 Yeah! Yeah. 273 00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:56,400 What's the worst bit of parenting advice you can think of? 274 00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:58,640 There's a book now that's come out called 275 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:00,560 There's No Such Thing As "Naughty". Oh, right. 276 00:13:00,560 --> 00:13:02,600 And that sounds like a shit book, doesn't it? 277 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,680 That's a book you should steal rather than buy. 278 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:11,680 But they used to have all those books, they had, like, 279 00:13:11,680 --> 00:13:13,360 was it Dr Spock? Dr Spock, yeah. 280 00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,320 It used to say, like, "Put your baby outside." 281 00:13:15,320 --> 00:13:18,080 And then there was an earlier one, I think a 19th-century book, 282 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,240 about giving your children, basically it was morphine, 283 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,040 it was a soothing syrup. 284 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:26,040 I mean, who wouldn't want a little bit of laced Calpol? 285 00:13:26,040 --> 00:13:28,480 Victorian children were calmed by all sorts of medicines like that. 286 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:32,080 There was a thing called Stickney and Poor's Pure Paregoric Syrup 287 00:13:32,080 --> 00:13:33,480 and it worked fantastically. 288 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:36,760 It was very soothing for children because it was 50% alcohol 289 00:13:36,760 --> 00:13:40,640 and contained 1 and 3/16 grains of opium per ounce. 290 00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:42,440 SHOCKED LAUGHTER 291 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:46,080 Yeah, so... Oh, let's get a shot glass! 292 00:13:46,080 --> 00:13:49,480 I mean, you could either give that to the child or you could take it 293 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:51,720 and not care that the child's not sleeping. Yeah. 294 00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:54,640 Just have one each and do a cheers at bedtime. 295 00:13:54,640 --> 00:13:56,000 "Goodnight, darling!" 296 00:13:56,000 --> 00:14:00,400 Come on, which of us has not sneaked a tiny bit of Calpol in our day? 297 00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:03,520 But there were all sorts of domestic manuals that used to give advice. 298 00:14:03,520 --> 00:14:05,400 Some of it, I think, is a bit suspect. 299 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:08,040 There's an amazing woman called Lydia Maria Child. 300 00:14:08,040 --> 00:14:10,360 She was an abolitionist, she was a women's rights activist, 301 00:14:10,360 --> 00:14:12,000 a Native American activist and so on, 302 00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:15,000 but she also wrote several books about bringing up children. 303 00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,360 I don't know why - she had no children. 304 00:14:16,360 --> 00:14:19,080 And in 1831, she wrote a thing called The Mother's Book, 305 00:14:19,080 --> 00:14:22,600 and she advised women to speak with a look of regret 306 00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:25,000 as they tied infants to armchairs. 307 00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,680 SHOCKED LAUGHTER 308 00:14:28,400 --> 00:14:31,840 She did, to be fair, frown on locking them in the closet. 309 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:36,800 Is that her look of regret? Because I'm not feeling it. 310 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,080 That's a face that says, 311 00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,800 "I'm going to tie you to something in a minute." 312 00:14:40,800 --> 00:14:44,200 They didn't have gaffer tape in her day. 313 00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:45,280 In the early 20th century, 314 00:14:45,280 --> 00:14:48,200 there were doctors who recommended dunking a screaming infant's head 315 00:14:48,200 --> 00:14:50,760 under the cold tap until they shut up. Yeah. 316 00:14:50,760 --> 00:14:53,960 And yet there was an intake of breath when I talked about my sack. 317 00:14:56,240 --> 00:14:59,640 You should just... Just say that again. Don't talk about your sack! 318 00:14:59,640 --> 00:15:02,640 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 319 00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:07,040 Talk about low-hanging fruit! 320 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:12,480 This advice from an 1888 manual by a man called Thomas Hill 321 00:15:12,480 --> 00:15:16,480 I think is absolutely right - never wake children up, OK? 322 00:15:16,480 --> 00:15:20,800 The time will come soon enough when care and trouble will compel them 323 00:15:20,800 --> 00:15:22,680 to waken in the early morning. 324 00:15:22,680 --> 00:15:24,920 Let them sleep while they can. 325 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,320 Yeah. Absolutely. 326 00:15:26,320 --> 00:15:27,880 Even on a school day? 327 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,560 Yes. 328 00:15:29,560 --> 00:15:31,120 We tried to follow... 329 00:15:31,120 --> 00:15:33,160 Talking about people who wrote children's books 330 00:15:33,160 --> 00:15:35,240 that don't have children, but Gina Ford had one, 331 00:15:35,240 --> 00:15:37,960 I think was The Content Baby or something like that, 332 00:15:37,960 --> 00:15:39,320 which we tried to follow. 333 00:15:39,320 --> 00:15:41,080 For three nights, we tried to do that thing of... 334 00:15:41,080 --> 00:15:42,400 Was that keeping the baby...? 335 00:15:42,400 --> 00:15:45,960 Let it get cried out, cry for so long... 336 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,800 Is she the nanny? Is she the nanny person? 337 00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:51,880 I'm not sure. I just know I would feed her that book. 338 00:15:53,800 --> 00:15:55,040 All these people who write books, 339 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,280 they're right bastards, aren't they? Yeah. 340 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:02,000 While we're on the subject of tantrums, what looks like a tomato 341 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,080 and screams when stressed? 342 00:16:04,080 --> 00:16:05,240 Aww. 343 00:16:05,240 --> 00:16:07,520 Is it me on holiday with my kids? 344 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:09,280 KLAXON WAILS 345 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:16,640 Literally, that was meant for me, no-one else. Got me. 346 00:16:16,640 --> 00:16:18,640 Is it an animal kingdom one? 347 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:21,360 Er, no. Are we going to discover that plants scream 348 00:16:21,360 --> 00:16:23,440 when they're distressed? Is it to do with that? 349 00:16:23,440 --> 00:16:24,840 We are, so what might it be? 350 00:16:24,840 --> 00:16:25,920 Is it an actual tomato? 351 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:27,880 It's an actual tomato! Two points. 352 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:29,120 Absolutely right. 353 00:16:32,320 --> 00:16:35,720 So they did some research, 2019, Tel Aviv University, and they found 354 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:38,400 that tomatoes emit ultrasonic screams 355 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:40,760 when they are damaged or dehydrated. 356 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:43,360 Is that when they see the frying pan? 357 00:16:43,360 --> 00:16:44,880 When they hear someone say, 358 00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:46,840 "I'm quite peckish, I fancy some breakfast." 359 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,720 "Aaargh!" 360 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:50,000 I think it's actual damage. 361 00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:52,520 They're called stress vocalisations and they are detected 362 00:16:52,520 --> 00:16:56,640 at 65 decibels, so that's the same volume as human laughter, 363 00:16:56,640 --> 00:16:58,760 but we can't hear it because it's a frequency 364 00:16:58,760 --> 00:17:00,240 well above our hearing range. 365 00:17:00,240 --> 00:17:03,320 The really weird thing is that things like fruit bats and mice 366 00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:07,520 can detect tomato shrieks from as far away as five metres 367 00:17:07,520 --> 00:17:09,080 and eat them anyway. 368 00:17:09,080 --> 00:17:10,600 Ohhh. 369 00:17:10,600 --> 00:17:12,360 They're just not that bothered. Oh, pity. 370 00:17:12,360 --> 00:17:14,720 But we don't really know how they make the sound, 371 00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,560 so probably what it is, the xylem fibres - that's the tubes 372 00:17:17,560 --> 00:17:20,560 that transport water and nutrients and so on from the soil - 373 00:17:20,560 --> 00:17:24,680 it's probably bursting air bubbles in the xylem fibres. 374 00:17:24,680 --> 00:17:27,600 They have tiny charged particles called ions that send electrical 375 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,920 signals around the plant and alert it to danger, insect attacks, 376 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:32,680 that kind of thing, and it is 377 00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:37,080 the thing that seems to make them scream. We just can't hear it. 378 00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:38,920 There's a book called The Hidden Life Of Trees, 379 00:17:38,920 --> 00:17:41,560 which is all about how trees communicate with each other 380 00:17:41,560 --> 00:17:44,000 and run themselves like a society. I know this, this is marvellous. 381 00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,960 It's an amazing book. Yeah, it's amazing. Yeah. 382 00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:48,080 They made it into a film called Avatar. 383 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:49,760 LAUGHTER 384 00:17:49,760 --> 00:17:52,040 It is incredible that trees will share water. 385 00:17:52,040 --> 00:17:54,440 It's like a socialist system, a woodland. 386 00:17:54,440 --> 00:17:58,080 It's like Denmark, isn't it? It's exactly like Denmark. Yeah, it is. 387 00:17:58,080 --> 00:18:01,080 But they look at us and, to them, we're just like a fly flying by 388 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,440 because the lifetime of a human, 389 00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,560 just as a little existential thought. 390 00:18:04,560 --> 00:18:07,800 So they're looking down on us all the time? Yeah, all the time. 391 00:18:07,800 --> 00:18:10,760 Well, I'm glad we turn them into books, then. Yeah, yeah. 392 00:18:12,320 --> 00:18:14,080 ALAN MIMICS CHAINSAW 393 00:18:16,920 --> 00:18:20,160 That book you read about The Secret Life Of Trees? Yeah? 394 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:23,440 Got a little story about what that book used to be. Yeah. 395 00:18:23,440 --> 00:18:28,840 Every time you turn the page, it goes, "Aaargh! Aaargh!" 396 00:18:28,840 --> 00:18:30,040 Tomatoes are really interesting. 397 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,520 They were feared in Europe for about 200 years. 398 00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,320 They were known as poison apples. 399 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:37,280 Sort of fair enough cos there's about 18,000 varieties and they all 400 00:18:37,280 --> 00:18:40,840 belong to the nightshade family, which produces a toxin called 401 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:44,640 solanine, which can kill you, but only in extremely high doses, 402 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:47,520 so even a very ripe tomato, there's hardly any of it in there. Yeah. 403 00:18:47,520 --> 00:18:51,040 But all of those vegetables and things in that family, 404 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:52,880 belladonna, aubergines, tomatoes, 405 00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:55,520 they all have been long considered aphrodisiacs 406 00:18:55,520 --> 00:18:58,360 and so tomatoes were seen as a dangerous source 407 00:18:58,360 --> 00:19:00,120 of sexual temptation. 408 00:19:00,120 --> 00:19:02,920 Tomatoes are known as a dangerous source of sexual temptation? 409 00:19:02,920 --> 00:19:06,080 See, I can never eat a tomato again cos it would be like cannibalism. 410 00:19:06,080 --> 00:19:07,680 Yeah. 411 00:19:07,680 --> 00:19:11,160 They were called love apples or wolf apples, they were. 412 00:19:11,160 --> 00:19:13,840 We're back to Jack's sack again, aren't we? 413 00:19:13,840 --> 00:19:16,120 LAUGHTER 414 00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:19,720 I literally don't know what happened that I agreed with you. 415 00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:21,600 I just... 416 00:19:21,600 --> 00:19:24,720 It is the gift that keeps giving. 417 00:19:24,720 --> 00:19:26,600 But there was a terrible fear of tomatoes. 418 00:19:26,600 --> 00:19:27,920 Early 19th-century America, 419 00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:29,880 they thought they were toxic and inedible. 420 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,480 There's an apocryphal story, 421 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,920 I don't think it is true, about a gentleman horticulturalist 422 00:19:34,920 --> 00:19:37,920 called Colonel Robert Gibbon Johnson in Salem, New Jersey, 423 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:41,400 and he publicly ate a basket of tomatoes with a doctor standing 424 00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:42,720 by him just in case, 425 00:19:42,720 --> 00:19:47,200 and the event is known as the Salem Tomato Trial of 1820. 426 00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:48,960 And there's a wonderful description 427 00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:51,080 from the Salem County Historical Society, 428 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:53,400 "He brought the tomato to his lips and took a bite. 429 00:19:53,400 --> 00:19:55,600 "A woman in the crowd screamed and fainted, but no-one 430 00:19:55,600 --> 00:19:56,760 "paid her any attention. 431 00:19:56,760 --> 00:19:59,560 "They were all watching Johnson as he took one bite after another. 432 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:03,000 "The crowd cheered and the fireman's band blared a song. 433 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:06,400 " 'He's done it!', they shouted. 'He's still alive!' " 434 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,240 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 435 00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:17,920 We discovered this thing, which I really love, 436 00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:20,680 there was a guy in Japan called Nobumichi Tosa 437 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:23,080 and, for the 2015 Tokyo Marathon, 438 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,760 he invented a thing, 439 00:20:24,760 --> 00:20:26,480 a robotic tomato dispenser, 440 00:20:26,480 --> 00:20:28,400 which was worn as a backpack, OK? 441 00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,960 The idea was that you wore it during a marathon 442 00:20:30,960 --> 00:20:33,280 and it would help combat...fatigue. 443 00:20:33,280 --> 00:20:36,040 Apart from you're wearing this tomato dispenser. 444 00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,880 Let's have a look and see the guy having a go at 445 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,240 showing us how it works. 446 00:20:41,440 --> 00:20:44,520 OK, so there's the tomatoes in the tomato dispenser. 447 00:20:44,520 --> 00:20:47,200 This is the guy who actually wore it during the marathon. 448 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,240 That guy's never run a marathon. 449 00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:50,880 Then it comes round... 450 00:20:50,880 --> 00:20:52,320 And then you eat the tomato. 451 00:20:53,400 --> 00:20:55,600 What a good idea. Yeah...! Yeah. 452 00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,200 I do not know why that didn't take off. Yeah! 453 00:21:01,200 --> 00:21:03,560 From screaming tomatoes to talking drums, 454 00:21:03,560 --> 00:21:06,920 what message can you communicate by thumping on a drum? 455 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:09,000 Do you...? Anybody play the drums? Anybody? 456 00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:11,960 My dad's a timpanist. Is he? Yes, he is. Well, that's very impressive. 457 00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:14,680 Yeah, we used to have to walk home from everywhere because he needed 458 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:18,360 the space in the car for the drums. They're massive, so, yeah... 459 00:21:18,360 --> 00:21:21,440 Going back to the whole parenting issue, I feel nothing says 460 00:21:21,440 --> 00:21:26,560 "I hate you" more than buying your friend's kid a drum. 461 00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:27,600 Yeah! 462 00:21:28,600 --> 00:21:31,240 My son had a drum kit when he was 13. Did anyone's...? 463 00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:34,120 Has anyone's kids had a...? Uh, not allowed. No... Yeah, I... 464 00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:36,360 What about yours, Jack? You seem like a liberal parent. 465 00:21:36,360 --> 00:21:39,360 We got one...of those electric ones where you can't hear it. 466 00:21:39,360 --> 00:21:41,840 And then if it gets too much, you just you press a switch 467 00:21:41,840 --> 00:21:43,840 and they get a little shock. It's not... 468 00:21:43,840 --> 00:21:45,520 LAUGHTER DROWNS SPEECH 469 00:21:45,520 --> 00:21:47,520 Sounds perfect. 470 00:21:47,520 --> 00:21:51,880 I convey a lot of messaging through percussion and... 471 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:53,280 Well, a quick example will be... 472 00:21:53,280 --> 00:21:55,200 HE MIMES DRUM SEQUENCE 473 00:21:55,200 --> 00:21:58,520 That would go on for 12 or 18 minutes sometimes. And that... 474 00:21:58,520 --> 00:22:01,600 That means, "I want this train carriage to myself." 475 00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,000 It worked. 476 00:22:05,000 --> 00:22:06,440 APPLAUSE 477 00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:14,760 There are drums used all over the world, but in particular, 478 00:22:14,760 --> 00:22:16,520 I'll talk about the Yoruba dundun, 479 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:19,280 which is the talking drums of Nigeria, and they're amazing. 480 00:22:19,280 --> 00:22:22,200 They copy the sounds of human speech and convey messages 481 00:22:22,200 --> 00:22:23,680 over a really long distance. 482 00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:27,320 So the language itself is a tonal language, so words have 483 00:22:27,320 --> 00:22:29,880 different meaning depending on whatever pitch you're using. 484 00:22:29,880 --> 00:22:32,960 The dundun is a cylindrical double-headed drum, 485 00:22:32,960 --> 00:22:34,400 and it can be tuned, 486 00:22:34,400 --> 00:22:37,560 you can pull on the goatskin strings, and modulate the pitch, 487 00:22:37,560 --> 00:22:40,040 and they can exactly mimic the rhythm, the intonation, 488 00:22:40,040 --> 00:22:41,920 the emotion and the stresses of the language. 489 00:22:41,920 --> 00:22:44,680 And it's exactly as if it's done vocally, but it's done on the drum. 490 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:46,040 Have a look at this interviewer. 491 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:48,960 This is an interview on Nigerian television and the guy drums 492 00:22:48,960 --> 00:22:51,760 and the person interviewing is able to tell what it is he's saying. 493 00:22:51,760 --> 00:22:53,520 HE SPEAKS YORUBA 494 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:01,840 HE SPEAKS RHYTHMICALLY, IN TIME 495 00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:02,960 Wow! 496 00:23:02,960 --> 00:23:04,440 HE REPEATS UTTERANCE 497 00:23:12,560 --> 00:23:14,080 Love that you could do that. 498 00:23:14,080 --> 00:23:15,920 But it isn't unique to Yoruba. 499 00:23:15,920 --> 00:23:18,920 So there's the oja flute which mimics the Igbo language, 500 00:23:18,920 --> 00:23:22,000 and in Ghana, the Asante Twi language is communicated 501 00:23:22,000 --> 00:23:23,520 by ivory trumpeters. 502 00:23:23,520 --> 00:23:25,720 What I like is they use it for things like announcing 503 00:23:25,720 --> 00:23:27,240 drinking competitions! 504 00:23:28,520 --> 00:23:31,000 Glad it's not used frivolously, then! Yeah. 505 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:34,360 And then, it's not just the boys, the Baka of Cameroon and Gabon, 506 00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:36,960 they practise water drumming, or liquindi, 507 00:23:36,960 --> 00:23:39,000 and it's usually the women. They go out... 508 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,320 It's the most wonderful noise. Have a look online, 509 00:23:41,320 --> 00:23:44,120 there's quite a lot of examples of it, and the women beat out 510 00:23:44,120 --> 00:23:46,520 these sort of gloopy rhythms on the surface of the river, 511 00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:49,440 and the idea is to enchant the forest before hunting 512 00:23:49,440 --> 00:23:52,600 and lure the animals in. Not the alligators, though. No. 513 00:23:54,000 --> 00:23:57,120 So the only mammals other than humans are known to use rhythm 514 00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:58,720 to communicate are lemurs. 515 00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:02,120 The indri of Mada... Look at this picture. Aw! 516 00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:05,320 Is that a ruffed lemur? That is an indri... An indri... 517 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:08,040 ..of Madagascar. Aw! Is that lemur eating leaves 518 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,120 or has it got two tongues? It is a leaf, but 519 00:24:10,120 --> 00:24:12,800 it does look like a tongue hanging out, doesn't it? It does. Yeah. 520 00:24:12,800 --> 00:24:14,760 So they message each other using family songs. 521 00:24:14,760 --> 00:24:18,360 It's a bit like a whale song, and they sing up to seven times a day 522 00:24:18,360 --> 00:24:21,000 and it can be heard 4km away. Have a listen to this. 523 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:24,600 FLUTE-LIKE YIPPING 524 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:29,400 LEMURS SING 525 00:24:29,400 --> 00:24:30,760 Oh, no! 526 00:24:30,760 --> 00:24:32,360 SANDI LAUGHS 527 00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:34,560 SINGING CONTINUES 528 00:24:36,200 --> 00:24:37,440 Oh...! 529 00:24:37,440 --> 00:24:39,760 It just sounds like being in a traffic jam! ..my God! 530 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:43,520 They're doing a disservice to the tourist board of Madagascar. 531 00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:46,520 "You can't hear them near the hotel." 532 00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,920 Right, your phone's dead, your TV's on the blink, the Wi-Fi is down, 533 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:54,200 how can you tell if a thunderstorm is on the way? 534 00:24:54,200 --> 00:24:56,280 I live in the countryside, so if my Wi-Fi is down, 535 00:24:56,280 --> 00:24:58,400 I'm assuming the thunderstorm has just been. 536 00:24:59,960 --> 00:25:03,680 I live in the country - if the WiFi's down, I'm not surprised! 537 00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:06,680 Do you have bees? Because if bees all go back in the hive, 538 00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,160 that means there's a storm coming. 539 00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:12,440 We are in the animal world and it was a specific thing invented 540 00:25:12,440 --> 00:25:15,360 to tap into this innate ability of some animals. 541 00:25:15,360 --> 00:25:19,640 And it's a thing called a tempest prognosticator, also known 542 00:25:19,640 --> 00:25:21,560 as the Leech Barometer. 543 00:25:21,560 --> 00:25:24,400 Invented in 1850 by Dr George Merryweather, 544 00:25:24,400 --> 00:25:28,040 and it was used to predict oncoming storms. 545 00:25:28,040 --> 00:25:31,000 So it's 12 glass bottles, pint bottles, 546 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,600 each one has a leech in it. 547 00:25:33,600 --> 00:25:37,160 And what's very sweet is that George Merryweather put them in a circle 548 00:25:37,160 --> 00:25:39,400 so that none of the leeches would get lonely... Aww! 549 00:25:39,400 --> 00:25:41,840 ..which I think is very sweet. Thoughtful. Yeah. 550 00:25:41,840 --> 00:25:44,840 This is a 1951 replica. It's in Whitby in the museum there. 551 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:46,760 Merryweather was once the curator there. 552 00:25:46,760 --> 00:25:50,440 This is the way it works - so it's 12 glass bottles, right? 553 00:25:50,440 --> 00:25:54,520 And each has a thin piece of whalebone in the neck, 554 00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:57,800 and what happens is, when there's an impending storm, there's 555 00:25:57,800 --> 00:26:00,640 changes in atmospheric pressure, and it prompts them to climb up 556 00:26:00,640 --> 00:26:03,800 the sides of the bottle and dislodge the whalebone 557 00:26:03,800 --> 00:26:06,280 and causing the hammer to strike a bell, 558 00:26:06,280 --> 00:26:08,200 and if the bell rang repeatedly, 559 00:26:08,200 --> 00:26:10,840 then a thunderstorm was approaching. 560 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:14,400 A slightly overengineered solution. Mm-hm! Do you think? 561 00:26:14,400 --> 00:26:16,760 If you had that in your house, people went, "What's that?" 562 00:26:16,760 --> 00:26:19,120 "Well, that's just the case the Wi-Fi goes down..." 563 00:26:20,600 --> 00:26:23,200 Imagine there's a satellite going round the Earth, 564 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:24,480 full of leeches. 565 00:26:25,880 --> 00:26:27,920 Just as a backup. 566 00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:29,960 Sounds like Elon Musk would come up with. 567 00:26:29,960 --> 00:26:32,040 Merryweather was so pleased with this! 568 00:26:32,040 --> 00:26:34,520 He wanted to make big ones the size of Indian temples and then 569 00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,200 very simple ones, and he wanted to roll it out across the country. 570 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:38,800 I'm amazed that didn't happen. 571 00:26:38,800 --> 00:26:42,000 I know! It's such a handy gadget, that, to have one of those... 572 00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:45,440 The Government did not have any imagination, stuck with barometers, 573 00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:47,720 but I think it's one of the best things I've ever seen. 574 00:26:47,720 --> 00:26:50,040 I wonder how he came up with it. "I've got these leeches, 575 00:26:50,040 --> 00:26:52,480 "these whale bones..." Well, he was a doctor as well. 576 00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:54,840 He would have used leeches in his medical practice. 577 00:26:54,840 --> 00:26:57,680 And indeed, leeches are still used today to prevent blood clots. 578 00:26:57,680 --> 00:27:00,840 So they're putting stuff into the blood, are they? Yes. 579 00:27:00,840 --> 00:27:03,480 They have something in the saliva called hirudin, 580 00:27:03,480 --> 00:27:05,280 which is an anticoagulant. Ah! 581 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:08,680 Anyway, he intended to use his "hysterical aquatic bloodsuckers" 582 00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:12,080 to create a whole range of barometers, old George Merryweather, 583 00:27:12,080 --> 00:27:14,240 but it didn't happen. And then there's another guy. 584 00:27:14,240 --> 00:27:18,240 In 1906, Professor Joseph Novak of Vienna, he promoted a tropical vine, 585 00:27:18,240 --> 00:27:19,680 which is called rosary pea, 586 00:27:19,680 --> 00:27:22,320 and he said this was a tempest-predicting plant, 587 00:27:22,320 --> 00:27:24,320 in that it's got sort of feathery leaves, 588 00:27:24,320 --> 00:27:26,640 and if they pointed up, that meant it was going to be fine, 589 00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:29,680 if they pointed down, there was going to be a thunderstorm 590 00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:33,000 and he claimed that it could predict the weather in a 3,000-mile radius 591 00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,640 a week in advance. 592 00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,760 LAUGHTER 593 00:27:36,760 --> 00:27:38,960 Earthquakes... Nothing can predict that... I know! 594 00:27:38,960 --> 00:27:41,000 Earthquakes, a month in advance. 595 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:42,560 ED LAUGHS HEARTILY 596 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:43,800 Unfortunately... 597 00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,160 LAUGHTER 598 00:27:45,160 --> 00:27:47,960 Unfortunately, he was never able to prove that it worked. 599 00:27:47,960 --> 00:27:49,280 ALAN: No! 600 00:27:49,280 --> 00:27:51,000 You don't say! I know. 601 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,360 I think one of the simplest ways to predict a thunderstorm 602 00:27:53,360 --> 00:27:54,920 is to organise a picnic. 603 00:27:54,920 --> 00:27:56,440 LAUGHTER 604 00:27:56,440 --> 00:28:00,440 One year, I did a big outdoor origami festival, and... 605 00:28:01,440 --> 00:28:02,840 ..sure enough, it rained. Yeah. 606 00:28:02,840 --> 00:28:05,080 And I was disappointed because I had all the experts 607 00:28:05,080 --> 00:28:08,240 from all around the world coming and we had swans, poodles, elephants, 608 00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,920 everything... I mean, it just looked like roadkill. 609 00:28:12,480 --> 00:28:14,720 Has anybody ever seen a great big flash of lightning? 610 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:15,800 Anybody ever seen...? 611 00:28:15,800 --> 00:28:19,000 I was knocked flat by...lightning once. Were you?! Yeah, I was. 612 00:28:19,000 --> 00:28:21,320 What happened? I was knocked flat by lightning. 613 00:28:21,320 --> 00:28:22,960 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 614 00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,920 What more did you want from the story?! Yeah, yeah. 615 00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:33,920 Tell us something interesting, Daddy. 616 00:28:35,000 --> 00:28:37,000 No, I was watching a cricket match, 617 00:28:37,000 --> 00:28:39,520 and I was only about ten or something, 618 00:28:39,520 --> 00:28:42,800 and just suddenly, I remember this massive clap of lightning 619 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:44,520 hit the cricket pitch 620 00:28:44,520 --> 00:28:47,000 and quite a lot of the players were knocked over... 621 00:28:47,000 --> 00:28:49,000 I was...flat...by it. Wow. Yeah, I was... 622 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:52,080 Felt really terrible the rest of the day. It could've been worse - 623 00:28:52,080 --> 00:28:54,560 you could've been forced to watch the whole cricket match. 624 00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:55,720 I could've, yeah, yeah! 625 00:28:55,720 --> 00:28:57,200 APPLAUSE 626 00:29:00,800 --> 00:29:03,680 So that probably won't ever happen again, will it? I... 627 00:29:06,400 --> 00:29:08,880 There's a story of a guy who was hit so many times by lightning, 628 00:29:08,880 --> 00:29:10,560 people couldn't believe it. He kept... 629 00:29:10,560 --> 00:29:13,120 It was, like, five or six times, and then, when he died, 630 00:29:13,120 --> 00:29:14,800 his grave was hit by lightning. 631 00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:20,360 But in 2020, the single longest lightning bolt ever was recorded. 632 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:23,240 It was 477 miles long. 633 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:25,720 Wow. Wow. If we look at the bottom of the map there... Yeah... 634 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:28,640 ..that's where it went, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas, right across 635 00:29:28,640 --> 00:29:30,880 like that, same distance as London and Hamburg. 636 00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,080 I'm going to ask the question everyone's wondering - 637 00:29:33,080 --> 00:29:35,880 how do you measure the length of a lightning bolt? Carefully. Yeah. 638 00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:38,240 Cos it's hot. Very quickly, I'd imagine... 639 00:29:38,240 --> 00:29:40,520 Quick, would've been quick... Careful, yet quickly. 640 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:43,000 It was filmed on satellite, so they could see how long it was. 641 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,560 Isn't that right? That's correct, yes. You got an extra point. 642 00:29:45,560 --> 00:29:46,840 Do I? My God. Yes. 643 00:29:46,840 --> 00:29:48,000 APPLAUSE 644 00:29:49,960 --> 00:29:51,440 Anyway, moving on... 645 00:29:51,440 --> 00:29:54,040 How can you turn your town into a tourist trap? 646 00:29:55,400 --> 00:29:57,960 So traps... Not just a tourist attraction? 647 00:29:57,960 --> 00:30:00,040 Is there anything relevant about it being a trap? 648 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:02,640 No, it's something that's... It's a con? ..on purpose. 649 00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:05,040 So you have a big attraction, like a Ferris wheel, 650 00:30:05,040 --> 00:30:08,320 but all around it you have really massive sticky pads, 651 00:30:08,320 --> 00:30:11,360 and they just... When they walk on it and then they're stuck... 652 00:30:11,360 --> 00:30:14,160 Pits with spikes in, covered with grass. Traps. 653 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:16,920 We are talking about the 1870s. 654 00:30:16,920 --> 00:30:20,400 We're talking about a place in Nevada called Palisade, 655 00:30:20,400 --> 00:30:23,480 and it had a reputation as one of the most violent places 656 00:30:23,480 --> 00:30:25,040 in the United States. 657 00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:28,680 It was known as the toughest town west of Chicago 658 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,080 and train passengers, who were en route to Chicago, 659 00:30:31,080 --> 00:30:33,800 to San Francisco, for example, on the Central Pacific Railroad, 660 00:30:33,800 --> 00:30:36,840 they would stop and stretch their legs and then they would see 661 00:30:36,840 --> 00:30:39,560 gunfights and they would see brawls and robberies, and there 662 00:30:39,560 --> 00:30:42,600 would be Native American massacres and hangings all taking place 663 00:30:42,600 --> 00:30:45,800 in broad daylight, because that is what people thought 664 00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:48,160 the Wild West was like. 665 00:30:48,160 --> 00:30:51,560 In fact, it was one of the quietest, most law-abiding places in the whole 666 00:30:51,560 --> 00:30:53,120 of the United States. 667 00:30:53,120 --> 00:30:55,480 It was described by a local newspaper reporter as, 668 00:30:55,480 --> 00:30:57,200 "unusually dull". 669 00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,320 It's like my last Edinburgh show. 670 00:31:01,320 --> 00:31:03,240 It didn't even have a sheriff! 671 00:31:03,240 --> 00:31:05,840 It was a complete hoax. It was deliberately... 672 00:31:05,840 --> 00:31:08,760 So they hear the train coming... Yeah. ..and everyone goes, "Oh, God, 673 00:31:08,760 --> 00:31:10,480 "get your gear on, come on..." "Come on." 674 00:31:10,480 --> 00:31:12,200 "Let's start shooting and pretending." 675 00:31:12,200 --> 00:31:13,640 Bang, bang, bang, argh... Yeah. 676 00:31:13,640 --> 00:31:16,160 And the local Shoshone, the local Native Americans 677 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:19,160 enthusiastically joined in. They did mock scalpings, 678 00:31:19,160 --> 00:31:22,080 they agreed to be bound, hand and foot, and laid on the platform 679 00:31:22,080 --> 00:31:24,520 and so on. They used blood from the local slaughterhouse 680 00:31:24,520 --> 00:31:26,040 to enhance all the theatrics. 681 00:31:27,720 --> 00:31:30,800 At the first staged confrontation, they wrote down what was said. 682 00:31:30,800 --> 00:31:33,280 "Frank West and Alvin Kittleby exchanged words, 683 00:31:33,280 --> 00:31:35,480 "with the former calling out, 'There you are, 684 00:31:35,480 --> 00:31:37,800 " 'ya low-down polecat, I've been waiting for you. 685 00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:40,920 " 'I'm going to kill you cos of what you did to my sister.' " 686 00:31:40,920 --> 00:31:42,560 LAUGHTER 687 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:44,040 Sorry, what did you say? Sorry. 688 00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:47,200 It's like Westworld, isn't it? Yeah. 689 00:31:47,200 --> 00:31:50,280 The actual period of the Wild West is only about 20 years 690 00:31:50,280 --> 00:31:51,400 in the United States. 691 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:53,880 You get the period where people start going west, 692 00:31:53,880 --> 00:31:57,080 and then somebody invented barbed wire, 693 00:31:57,080 --> 00:32:00,360 and once you could enclose all those big, vast open spaces, 694 00:32:00,360 --> 00:32:02,080 it completely changed. It was just over. 695 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:04,520 And actually, it's a terrible disservice that a lot of films 696 00:32:04,520 --> 00:32:08,040 have done to the Native Americans, because honestly, settlers 697 00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:11,520 going west were much more likely to be killed by diphtheria 698 00:32:11,520 --> 00:32:15,120 or some illness. Or Mormons. Mormons, darling! 699 00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:17,560 Absolutely no... There was a big Mormon massacre. 700 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:20,000 HE STUTTERS, SANDI TALKS OVER HIM ..the Native Americans. 701 00:32:20,000 --> 00:32:23,560 It was indeed the Meadow Massacre in Utah, where 120 people were killed 702 00:32:23,560 --> 00:32:25,440 by Mormons, who were terrified of outsiders, 703 00:32:25,440 --> 00:32:27,480 so you're absolutely right, I'm going to give you 704 00:32:27,480 --> 00:32:29,800 an extra two points for the Mountain Meadows Massacre. 705 00:32:29,800 --> 00:32:30,960 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 706 00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:37,720 So, do they...do they knock on your door before they kill you? Yeah. 707 00:32:41,560 --> 00:32:44,000 But there were more than 1,000 performances in this town 708 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:45,360 and no lives were ever lost. 709 00:32:45,360 --> 00:32:48,000 Was it one of those things where, after a while, people knew it was 710 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:50,400 just a show and then it became a show, I wonder? 711 00:32:50,400 --> 00:32:53,440 If it was, like... It was before TripAdvisor, though, wasn't it? 712 00:32:53,440 --> 00:32:54,800 LAUGHTER 713 00:32:54,800 --> 00:32:57,680 That's like Disney World before Disney World, wasn't it? Yeah. Yeah! 714 00:32:57,680 --> 00:33:00,360 So they deserved all they got for such creative tourist trapping. 715 00:33:00,360 --> 00:33:02,920 But you're exactly right, it's in some instances considered 716 00:33:02,920 --> 00:33:04,360 the first theme park in the world. 717 00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:06,760 And fake tourist attractions are still very big business. 718 00:33:06,760 --> 00:33:08,640 There's a Chinese town of Shangri-La. 719 00:33:08,640 --> 00:33:11,200 And it is not the one from the James Hilton novel. 720 00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:14,280 It used to be just plain old Zhongdian County Town, 721 00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:17,520 and it renamed itself in 2001 as Shangri-La, 722 00:33:17,520 --> 00:33:19,840 and now it's very popular tourist attraction. 723 00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,800 They have this thing in Vietnam, if you open a restaurant 724 00:33:22,800 --> 00:33:24,600 and it's doing well, 725 00:33:24,600 --> 00:33:27,280 and say you call it Sam's Eatery or something, 726 00:33:27,280 --> 00:33:29,600 then another restaurant round the corner will open up 727 00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:32,480 and they will call themselves Sam's Eatery, and there's nothing 728 00:33:32,480 --> 00:33:34,160 you can do about it. 729 00:33:34,160 --> 00:33:37,680 So most of the restaurants just use a street number. 730 00:33:37,680 --> 00:33:41,120 So we're number 47 and no-one else can be number 47. Yeah. 731 00:33:41,120 --> 00:33:42,360 SANDI AND JACK: Oh! 732 00:33:42,360 --> 00:33:45,680 So quite often, if you... So is that how McDonald's spread? 733 00:33:45,680 --> 00:33:48,000 It's good they make such an effort, though, don't they? 734 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:50,440 Cos we could learn from that, over here, when we do our 735 00:33:50,440 --> 00:33:53,040 fake winter wonderlands and stuff, they've brought people in, 736 00:33:53,040 --> 00:33:55,760 and they've paid 40 quid and it's just a guinea pig dressed up as 737 00:33:55,760 --> 00:33:58,520 a reindeer and a bit of fake snow, this is what we should be doing 738 00:33:58,520 --> 00:34:00,800 to rip people off! Make a bloody effort! 739 00:34:00,800 --> 00:34:02,600 To be fair, guinea pigs dressed as reindeer 740 00:34:02,600 --> 00:34:05,760 is something I'd would want to see. Yeah... 741 00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:07,960 Anybody seen Juliet's balcony in Verona? 742 00:34:07,960 --> 00:34:10,640 The actual balcony? The actual balcony, it's a historic balcony. 743 00:34:10,640 --> 00:34:13,280 So the house is 13th century, that's fair enough. 744 00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,280 The balcony was added in 1936. 745 00:34:17,280 --> 00:34:20,160 And also, Shakespeare did not base Juliet on a real person 746 00:34:20,160 --> 00:34:23,080 and he never went to Italy. So there we are. There's a whole lot of... 747 00:34:24,200 --> 00:34:25,920 But people go and take photographs 748 00:34:25,920 --> 00:34:28,480 and there's a statue of Juliet in the courtyard. 749 00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:31,040 There's a tradition of rubbing her right breast for luck. 750 00:34:32,040 --> 00:34:34,800 No, that's to see if a thunderstorm's coming. 751 00:34:34,800 --> 00:34:38,600 What do you think might be a reason to visit the Bude Tunnel 752 00:34:38,600 --> 00:34:43,720 in Cornwall, which, in 2021, won the Travellers' Choice Award? 753 00:34:43,720 --> 00:34:45,080 The Bude...? 754 00:34:45,080 --> 00:34:47,320 You want to get out of Bude? 755 00:34:48,600 --> 00:34:51,040 What kind of tunnel is it? Do we know? A tiny tunnel? 756 00:34:51,040 --> 00:34:53,640 It is quite tiny. It's a little tiny tunnel. 757 00:34:53,640 --> 00:34:56,600 It has its own merchandise shop, it sells postcards, 758 00:34:56,600 --> 00:35:01,080 It has over 900 five-star reviews online. 759 00:35:01,080 --> 00:35:02,840 Is it four foot long? OK... 760 00:35:02,840 --> 00:35:04,400 Have a look. This is what it is. 761 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,360 It is a Perspex... 762 00:35:08,560 --> 00:35:10,400 This is so British. 763 00:35:10,400 --> 00:35:12,520 It is a Perspex rain tunnel 764 00:35:12,520 --> 00:35:15,040 that connects a supermarket to its car park. 765 00:35:16,920 --> 00:35:18,440 LAUGHTER, SCATTERED APPLAUSE 766 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:20,400 That is thoughtful, though. 767 00:35:20,400 --> 00:35:23,840 In 2018, they decided to light it up, the supermarket, 768 00:35:23,840 --> 00:35:25,720 with 100,000 light bulbs. 769 00:35:27,440 --> 00:35:30,320 And everybody went mad! It was a literally decided, "It was a joke, 770 00:35:30,320 --> 00:35:32,640 "it was a joke. We're just going to light the thing up." 771 00:35:32,640 --> 00:35:35,440 Anyway, they eventually, TripAdvisor, had to ban people 772 00:35:35,440 --> 00:35:36,920 from adding reviews. 773 00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:39,760 So I thought, 774 00:35:39,760 --> 00:35:41,920 "Well, this is marvellous, I've never been to Bude." 775 00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:46,240 So I read a website called Top 10 Things to Do in Bude, Cornwall. 776 00:35:46,240 --> 00:35:48,400 Number five was, "Visit Devon". 777 00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:50,720 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 778 00:35:54,240 --> 00:35:57,160 Right, how might the gentleman in the middle here 779 00:35:57,160 --> 00:35:59,520 make your children behave? 780 00:35:59,520 --> 00:36:01,600 It looks like an early panel show, doesn't it? 781 00:36:01,600 --> 00:36:05,000 Six white men, no women, and a shit host, so... 782 00:36:05,000 --> 00:36:07,200 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 783 00:36:08,440 --> 00:36:10,120 ALAN: That guy on the end, saying, 784 00:36:10,120 --> 00:36:12,920 "I can't believe I've been sat next to the robot AGAIN." 785 00:36:14,240 --> 00:36:17,920 It's an early example of a smart home device, an early example 786 00:36:17,920 --> 00:36:20,240 of an Alexa or a Siri, whatever it's called. 787 00:36:20,240 --> 00:36:21,560 Herbert Televox. 788 00:36:21,560 --> 00:36:23,880 And he could talk, he could switch the oven on, he could 789 00:36:23,880 --> 00:36:26,640 flick the lights on and off. No, he couldn't. No, he couldn't! 790 00:36:26,640 --> 00:36:30,520 I'm sorry, you've been told this, but... That's him with his inventor, 791 00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:34,160 Roy Wensley, from the Westinghouse Company, invented in 1927, 792 00:36:34,160 --> 00:36:37,840 and he could be programmed to spy on your children by reporting on 793 00:36:37,840 --> 00:36:40,840 the sound levels in the house so you could ascertain whether the children 794 00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:43,520 had had a party, you could ascertain whether they'd gone to bed... 795 00:36:43,520 --> 00:36:46,480 You could ascertain if your children had unplugged him... 796 00:36:46,480 --> 00:36:48,080 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 797 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:53,160 It never became mainstream. 798 00:36:53,160 --> 00:36:55,880 No! No. No? That's weird, because I want one. 799 00:36:55,880 --> 00:36:57,360 Yeah, great. I love it. 800 00:36:57,360 --> 00:37:00,320 There were three Televoxes employed as reservoir watchman 801 00:37:00,320 --> 00:37:03,120 in Washington DC, so they reported on the levels of the water 802 00:37:03,120 --> 00:37:05,840 in the reservoir and could turn the flow of water on and off. 803 00:37:05,840 --> 00:37:09,920 What I like, he had a sister, who was known as Katrina Van Televox, 804 00:37:09,920 --> 00:37:12,120 and she... This is so awful. 805 00:37:12,120 --> 00:37:15,920 She was dressed as a maid, OK? And the press release of the time said, 806 00:37:15,920 --> 00:37:18,440 "She has all the characteristics of the modern woman 807 00:37:18,440 --> 00:37:20,320 "except she doesn't talk back." 808 00:37:20,320 --> 00:37:22,040 SHOCKED LAUGHTER, GROANING 809 00:37:23,240 --> 00:37:26,720 Right?! And then Televox also had a grandson called Elektro 810 00:37:26,720 --> 00:37:29,000 who could smoke cigarettes, 811 00:37:29,000 --> 00:37:32,800 and appeared in a movie called Sex Kittens Go To College. 812 00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:38,000 Just like a real sex kitten, except they don't ruin the carpet. 813 00:37:39,720 --> 00:37:41,520 Wow. That sounds like experience. 814 00:37:43,600 --> 00:37:46,680 What sort of pet shop do you live near?! 815 00:37:46,680 --> 00:37:48,360 "This is a sex kitten." 816 00:37:48,360 --> 00:37:51,840 He lives in the countryside, they make their own fun. Don't you? 817 00:37:51,840 --> 00:37:53,920 So the thing is, he was controlled by sound. 818 00:37:53,920 --> 00:37:56,680 So you played a combination of different pitches on a whistle 819 00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:58,440 to trigger different features. 820 00:37:58,440 --> 00:38:01,360 For example, two short high notes would prompt Televox 821 00:38:01,360 --> 00:38:02,880 to operate the oven. 822 00:38:02,880 --> 00:38:04,960 Whistles have long been used to control machines. 823 00:38:04,960 --> 00:38:08,520 In the 1960s, in America, there were automatic telephone switchboards 824 00:38:08,520 --> 00:38:10,120 that worked that way, 825 00:38:10,120 --> 00:38:12,640 so if you played a particular sound at a particular level, 826 00:38:12,640 --> 00:38:14,360 it would allow a long distance call. 827 00:38:14,360 --> 00:38:18,600 And then a cereal company called Cap'n Crunch released whistles 828 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:21,520 with the boxes, and lots of teenagers realised that the free 829 00:38:21,520 --> 00:38:24,680 whistle, coincidentally, produced the correct tone to get 830 00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:27,960 a free, long-distance...call. 831 00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:31,400 And using that theory, there was something invented called 832 00:38:31,400 --> 00:38:34,320 a blue box, and they were devices that reproduced all sorts 833 00:38:34,320 --> 00:38:36,640 of different tones that allowed you, basically, 834 00:38:36,640 --> 00:38:38,480 to hack into the entire phone system. 835 00:38:38,480 --> 00:38:43,400 And Steve Jobs' and Steve Wozniak's first business venture together 836 00:38:43,400 --> 00:38:46,280 was making and selling these blue boxes. 837 00:38:46,280 --> 00:38:49,720 And Jobs once said, without them, there would have been no Apple. 838 00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:52,320 It would never have happened. This was their first foray. 839 00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:54,440 It's fascinating! That was their first thing? 840 00:38:55,760 --> 00:38:57,080 Oh, I think it's amazing. 841 00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:59,520 And so, our play is nearly ended and it's time for 842 00:38:59,520 --> 00:39:02,480 the shocking denouement that is General Ignorance. 843 00:39:02,480 --> 00:39:04,040 Fingers on buzzers, please. 844 00:39:04,040 --> 00:39:06,120 What colour was George Washington's wig? 845 00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:08,960 Is it not a wig? 846 00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:10,920 Is the right answer. No! Oh... 847 00:39:10,920 --> 00:39:12,400 APPLAUSE 848 00:39:12,400 --> 00:39:13,720 It looks like a wig! 849 00:39:16,080 --> 00:39:18,880 You're right. When he became president, so 1789, 850 00:39:18,880 --> 00:39:21,240 wigs had been fashionable for a very long time, 851 00:39:21,240 --> 00:39:23,400 but he didn't like to wear one, 852 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:27,560 so what he did was he did his hair as if he were wearing one. 853 00:39:27,560 --> 00:39:29,240 As if he was wearing a wig? 854 00:39:29,240 --> 00:39:31,280 Imagine if he'd become a High Court judge, 855 00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:33,240 that would've taken ages. Yeah. 856 00:39:33,240 --> 00:39:36,040 He just pulled it back into what's called a queue, so, you know, 857 00:39:36,040 --> 00:39:37,520 a little ponytail there. 858 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:40,160 And then he would fluff out the sides to look sort of wig-shaped 859 00:39:40,160 --> 00:39:41,560 and white powder, basically. 860 00:39:41,560 --> 00:39:44,120 But it was a lot of work, the powdering of wigs and so on. 861 00:39:44,120 --> 00:39:46,760 People wore a cape in order to keep the powder off their clothes, 862 00:39:46,760 --> 00:39:49,760 they sometimes had a paper cone to cover their nose and eyes, 863 00:39:49,760 --> 00:39:52,760 and the person responsible for the fact that men had to wear 864 00:39:52,760 --> 00:39:56,600 these wigs for years and years and years was just one bald guy. 865 00:39:56,600 --> 00:39:58,480 And that is Louis XIII. 866 00:39:58,480 --> 00:40:00,920 He had premature balding and he didn't like it, 867 00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:02,240 so he started wearing a wig 868 00:40:02,240 --> 00:40:04,680 and then everybody who was upper-class and elite thought, 869 00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:08,080 "Oh, well, I'll start wearing a wig as well." And it became a thing. 870 00:40:08,080 --> 00:40:10,920 But by Washington's time, it was slightly falling out of fashion. 871 00:40:10,920 --> 00:40:14,280 I was told that Frankie Howerd used to go in to make-up with his wig on, 872 00:40:14,280 --> 00:40:17,400 and then you had to pretend, if you were putting a wig on for a sketch, 873 00:40:17,400 --> 00:40:20,720 that you hadn't noticed that he was wearing a wig! 874 00:40:20,720 --> 00:40:23,920 He had three different wigs at different stages of growth 875 00:40:23,920 --> 00:40:28,160 to continue the idea that it was real hair. That it was growing. 876 00:40:28,160 --> 00:40:31,680 Yeah. "Ooh, I've noticed, since lunchtime, you've got longer hair." 877 00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:36,320 Washington's hair looked like a wig, but it wasn't. 878 00:40:36,320 --> 00:40:39,120 Complete this Shakespearean phrase, 879 00:40:39,120 --> 00:40:42,440 "I am sworn, brother, to a leash of drawers 880 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:46,280 "and can call them all by their Christian names 881 00:40:46,280 --> 00:40:49,080 "as Tom, Dick and...?" 882 00:40:49,080 --> 00:40:50,360 BUZZER: Cinderella! 883 00:40:50,360 --> 00:40:51,960 LAUGHTER 884 00:40:53,360 --> 00:40:54,680 APPLAUSE 885 00:40:58,080 --> 00:40:59,720 Is Cinderella right? 886 00:41:00,720 --> 00:41:03,400 I'm going to give you two points for timing. Yeah, thank you. 887 00:41:03,400 --> 00:41:06,840 So, who is it? It's Tom, Dick and... Well, we know what it's not, then. 888 00:41:06,840 --> 00:41:08,280 What is it? 889 00:41:08,280 --> 00:41:10,960 Well, I'm not going to say because you'll give me the klaxon! Yeah! 890 00:41:10,960 --> 00:41:13,600 That's not fair. Go on, you know you want to. This show is so cruel! 891 00:41:13,600 --> 00:41:15,840 Yeah. Ed said... BUZZER: ..Fo Fum... 892 00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:17,040 Harry. 893 00:41:17,040 --> 00:41:18,080 APPLAUSE 894 00:41:23,400 --> 00:41:24,920 Does anybody know the answer? 895 00:41:24,920 --> 00:41:27,320 So this is Prince Hal speaking in Henry IV, Part 1. 896 00:41:27,320 --> 00:41:28,680 Steve. Dave. 897 00:41:28,680 --> 00:41:31,520 It's Francis. The answer is Francis. 898 00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:33,960 This is a very curious combination of people. 899 00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:37,200 Tom Allen, Dick Van Dyke and Pope Francis. 900 00:41:37,200 --> 00:41:38,840 I like it very much, so... 901 00:41:38,840 --> 00:41:40,440 Someone's dream dinner party. 902 00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:43,080 Could be worse! 903 00:41:43,080 --> 00:41:46,080 Tom, Dick and Harry doesn't come out until about 134 years later. 904 00:41:46,080 --> 00:41:49,800 There's a song in 1734 called Farewell Tom, Dick and Harry, 905 00:41:49,800 --> 00:41:51,720 "Farewell, Moll, Nell, and Sue". 906 00:41:51,720 --> 00:41:55,360 There's an equivalent in French, "Monsieur, Madame Tout Le Monde," 907 00:41:55,360 --> 00:41:57,120 is the same. Mr and Mrs Everybody. 908 00:41:57,120 --> 00:41:58,960 Is there a Dutch version of that? 909 00:41:58,960 --> 00:42:01,720 It's just... Yeah, "poepen plus". 910 00:42:03,160 --> 00:42:06,080 Won't translate it... "Shit where you like, mate." Yeah! 911 00:42:07,720 --> 00:42:10,640 Cry, "God, for Frances, England and St George." 912 00:42:10,640 --> 00:42:12,120 And that's the last question. 913 00:42:12,120 --> 00:42:14,880 And so, after a truly heart-warming performance from our cast, 914 00:42:14,880 --> 00:42:17,080 we come to the final curtain call 915 00:42:17,080 --> 00:42:19,240 and, with it, the scores. 916 00:42:20,280 --> 00:42:24,200 Booed off the stage, in last place, 917 00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:25,960 minus 26, it's Ed! 918 00:42:25,960 --> 00:42:27,440 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 919 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:33,320 Waiting out a storm of bad reviews with minus seven, 920 00:42:33,320 --> 00:42:34,560 it's Cally! 921 00:42:34,560 --> 00:42:35,720 Aw! 922 00:42:35,720 --> 00:42:36,880 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 923 00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:41,400 Watching tentatively from the wings with minus six, 924 00:42:41,400 --> 00:42:42,680 it's Jack! 925 00:42:42,680 --> 00:42:44,240 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 926 00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:50,280 And receiving a standing ovation, 927 00:42:50,280 --> 00:42:54,200 with a full three points, it's Alan! Me! 928 00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:56,600 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 929 00:42:56,600 --> 00:42:58,320 WHISTLING 930 00:43:08,840 --> 00:43:10,840 And that's all for this week's episode of QI. 931 00:43:10,840 --> 00:43:13,200 My thanks to Cally, Ed, Jack and Alan 932 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:15,440 and, as a final theatrical flourish, 933 00:43:15,440 --> 00:43:19,040 I leave you with this from that fine actor Glenda Jackson - 934 00:43:19,040 --> 00:43:22,480 "The most important thing in acting is to be able to laugh and cry. 935 00:43:22,480 --> 00:43:25,200 "If I have to cry, I think of my sex life. 936 00:43:25,200 --> 00:43:27,440 "If I have to laugh, I think of my sex life." 937 00:43:27,440 --> 00:43:29,960 LAUGHTER 938 00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:31,440 APPLAUSE