1 00:00:25,312 --> 00:00:27,392 APPLAUSE 2 00:00:34,391 --> 00:00:37,430 Good evening and welcome to QI. 3 00:00:38,590 --> 00:00:39,910 Right, question number one. 4 00:00:39,910 --> 00:00:41,710 Here are some unusual tools. 5 00:00:41,710 --> 00:00:43,909 I want you to guess what they are for. 6 00:00:43,909 --> 00:00:46,349 Let's start with the middle one. What do you think that is? 7 00:00:46,349 --> 00:00:49,269 Trepanning. Is it? Oh, it is about going into the body. 8 00:00:49,269 --> 00:00:52,148 So, trepanning was when they used to relieve pressure on the skull 9 00:00:52,148 --> 00:00:54,908 by basically... Drilling into the head. ..drilling into the head, 10 00:00:54,908 --> 00:00:56,788 so we do want to go into the body. 11 00:00:56,788 --> 00:00:59,348 Why might we want to do that? 12 00:00:59,348 --> 00:01:01,467 Is it to scoop out your poison? 13 00:01:01,467 --> 00:01:05,587 When you've got poison inside your... Inside your what? 14 00:01:05,587 --> 00:01:07,626 Your penis. Oh, sorry. 15 00:01:07,626 --> 00:01:10,266 I don't know why I asked what bit he was talking about. 16 00:01:10,266 --> 00:01:13,946 I had no idea. A little umbrella opens. We've all heard of it. 17 00:01:13,946 --> 00:01:16,185 We're all terrified of it. Oh, gosh, yeah. 18 00:01:16,185 --> 00:01:17,785 Is it like one of those... 19 00:01:17,785 --> 00:01:21,105 I was going to say cocktail umbrellas, but that doesn't seem right in the context. 20 00:01:21,105 --> 00:01:24,384 There's a fish in the Amazon that does that. Goes up your... 21 00:01:24,384 --> 00:01:27,184 It swims up your urethra and its gills open 22 00:01:27,184 --> 00:01:30,784 and it lodges itself in the urethra, and you can't urinate. 23 00:01:30,784 --> 00:01:32,103 What does it want?! 24 00:01:32,103 --> 00:01:34,703 LAUGHTER 25 00:01:34,703 --> 00:01:36,663 Probably wants to get out, once it's in there. 26 00:01:36,663 --> 00:01:39,422 It just does it out of sheer badness. 27 00:01:39,422 --> 00:01:41,182 Just having a laugh. Yeah. 28 00:01:41,182 --> 00:01:42,742 What's your plan? 29 00:01:44,182 --> 00:01:47,062 I'm safe from predators! Yeah. 30 00:01:47,062 --> 00:01:50,221 Sometimes you have to, you know, because you can't... 31 00:01:50,221 --> 00:01:52,301 Chop it off? Sometimes. 32 00:01:52,301 --> 00:01:53,701 No! Yup. 33 00:01:53,701 --> 00:01:55,540 When you say sometimes, once. 34 00:01:55,540 --> 00:01:58,140 LAUGHTER 35 00:01:59,660 --> 00:02:02,740 APPLAUSE 36 00:02:04,099 --> 00:02:06,939 It's called the candiru fish. The candiru fish. Yes. 37 00:02:06,939 --> 00:02:09,739 Does it eat you? Once it's there, what's it doing? 38 00:02:09,739 --> 00:02:11,698 It thrives off urine. Oh, OK. 39 00:02:11,698 --> 00:02:13,498 Mm! Yum, yum, yum! 40 00:02:13,498 --> 00:02:16,618 Hanging on, like this. "You can't get me out of here!" Yeah. 41 00:02:16,618 --> 00:02:21,097 So, it's like a kind of sort of Oktoberfest for fish. 42 00:02:22,417 --> 00:02:25,137 Yeah, hadn't thought of it like that, but, yeah. I suppose it is. 43 00:02:25,137 --> 00:02:28,176 Drink nothing for a week and eventually it gives up and goes, 44 00:02:28,176 --> 00:02:29,736 "Oh, the pub's shut." 45 00:02:29,736 --> 00:02:32,416 I think there's less singing. 46 00:02:32,416 --> 00:02:34,456 Maybe there is some German. 47 00:02:34,456 --> 00:02:37,175 There's some German singing coming from my genitals! 48 00:02:38,255 --> 00:02:41,975 HE SINGS NONSENSE 49 00:02:41,975 --> 00:02:44,214 Oh, my God! But it would be tiny. 50 00:02:44,214 --> 00:02:47,574 THEY SING SQUEAKILY 51 00:02:47,574 --> 00:02:48,974 Whoa! 52 00:02:48,974 --> 00:02:50,574 LAUGHTER 53 00:02:52,093 --> 00:02:55,293 HE SINGS MATCH OF THE DAY THEME 54 00:03:00,132 --> 00:03:01,732 I'm singing the Match Of The ... 55 00:03:01,732 --> 00:03:04,252 Why am I singing the Match Of The Day theme?! Why are you?! 56 00:03:07,251 --> 00:03:08,771 HE PLEADS 57 00:03:10,731 --> 00:03:13,171 Nein! Bitte! Bitte! 58 00:03:13,171 --> 00:03:14,730 BLOWS A RASPBERRY 59 00:03:16,010 --> 00:03:17,770 ALAN GRUNTS 60 00:03:19,530 --> 00:03:22,329 This is not where I thought we were going! 61 00:03:25,609 --> 00:03:29,649 I had a stuffed otter, and... LAUGHTER 62 00:03:29,649 --> 00:03:31,648 It's not a euphemism, calm down. 63 00:03:31,648 --> 00:03:36,568 I was... So I was in Kilkenny and I won some money on a horse 64 00:03:36,568 --> 00:03:41,047 and I got this money, I was walking past this sort of junk shop 65 00:03:41,047 --> 00:03:42,247 and I saw this stuffed otter 66 00:03:42,247 --> 00:03:44,527 and I thought, "Well, hang on, there's a stuffed otter, 67 00:03:44,527 --> 00:03:47,366 "I've got some money - this is a match made in heaven." 68 00:03:47,366 --> 00:03:50,526 So I got this otter and I spent three days just having fun with it 69 00:03:50,526 --> 00:03:53,246 around Kilkenny, you know, playing pranks on people, 70 00:03:53,246 --> 00:03:55,805 that sort of thing. And then I wanted to bring it back - 71 00:03:55,805 --> 00:03:58,725 I was living in London at the time, and I thought, "Are you allowed to 72 00:03:58,725 --> 00:04:02,044 "import animal products, that sort of thing?" Yeah. 73 00:04:02,044 --> 00:04:05,364 So I went to the police station and I walked in with it 74 00:04:05,364 --> 00:04:08,884 under my arm and there was an old Irish policeman sat there like that. 75 00:04:08,884 --> 00:04:11,723 And I said, "I want to take this otter to London." 76 00:04:11,723 --> 00:04:13,883 And he went, "Oh, that'll be nice for him." 77 00:04:13,883 --> 00:04:18,202 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 78 00:04:23,162 --> 00:04:27,921 When I took it back, I got a bin bag and I wrapped it in tape. 79 00:04:27,921 --> 00:04:31,201 So it was sort of in a slight lunging position, 80 00:04:31,201 --> 00:04:35,280 and I...and it wouldn't fit in the overhead locker. 81 00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:38,680 So they put fragile stickers on it and put it in the hold. 82 00:04:38,680 --> 00:04:42,519 So I was waiting at Stansted, and whoever the baggage 83 00:04:42,519 --> 00:04:45,799 handlers were must have had a sense of humour because they put 84 00:04:45,799 --> 00:04:50,358 it on first before any of the other bags, but they stood it up. 85 00:04:51,678 --> 00:04:56,158 So I've stood there at the baggage thing, and this otter just appeared. 86 00:04:56,158 --> 00:04:59,237 Like, it just sort of... Like that. 87 00:04:59,237 --> 00:05:00,397 And then it rolled off, 88 00:05:00,397 --> 00:05:03,677 and then it landed perfectly with its legs in the air, like that. 89 00:05:03,677 --> 00:05:05,836 Have you still got it? No. 90 00:05:05,836 --> 00:05:08,676 What happened to it? It died. He went... 91 00:05:08,676 --> 00:05:10,996 LAUGHTER 92 00:05:10,996 --> 00:05:12,916 He returned to his homeland. 93 00:05:12,916 --> 00:05:14,595 What? Did you return him to the sea? 94 00:05:14,595 --> 00:05:16,875 No. If you must know, Sandi, my house burned down. 95 00:05:16,875 --> 00:05:19,235 I lost everything I own. But let's not mention that. 96 00:05:20,435 --> 00:05:22,154 Is that true? Yeah. Yeah. 97 00:05:22,154 --> 00:05:23,914 LAUGHTER 98 00:05:23,914 --> 00:05:26,714 You know what? I suspect the otter! 99 00:05:26,714 --> 00:05:29,393 LAUGHTER 100 00:05:29,393 --> 00:05:33,713 APPLAUSE 101 00:05:33,713 --> 00:05:36,833 The thing is, you just tell me things you know that I don't know. 102 00:05:36,833 --> 00:05:39,472 That's how it works. We just knock it backwards and forwards. 103 00:05:39,472 --> 00:05:41,992 Is that what it is? Yeah. Tell me something I don't know. Go on. 104 00:05:41,992 --> 00:05:45,591 I once accidentally kicked a turtle off a roof in Morocco. 105 00:05:52,831 --> 00:05:56,390 There you go. I mean, there's a lot to unpack there, really. 106 00:05:56,390 --> 00:05:59,270 You rarely see a turtle on a roof. I know! 107 00:05:59,270 --> 00:06:02,349 What were you and the turtle doing on the roof? 108 00:06:02,349 --> 00:06:05,229 I didn't know he was there. No. Fair. 109 00:06:05,229 --> 00:06:09,308 And I had very slippy, local, like, Moroccan slippers on. 110 00:06:09,308 --> 00:06:14,268 Yeah? And somebody pinged me a size-five football. 111 00:06:14,268 --> 00:06:15,948 And as I volleyed that... Yeah. 112 00:06:15,948 --> 00:06:19,227 ..the turtle's come out from behind that plant pot... 113 00:06:20,187 --> 00:06:22,907 ..and the ball and the turtle have gone off the roof. 114 00:06:22,907 --> 00:06:24,826 It was an accident. Pure accident, swear down. 115 00:06:24,826 --> 00:06:26,466 Yeah, what are the chances? Innit? OK. 116 00:06:26,466 --> 00:06:30,586 What happened then? You just went, "Oh, shit. Oh, well." 117 00:06:30,586 --> 00:06:33,385 Did you go down to see if it was all right? Somebody did go and check 118 00:06:33,385 --> 00:06:36,145 if it was all right. And? It weren't all right. 119 00:06:36,145 --> 00:06:38,785 LAUGHTER 120 00:06:38,785 --> 00:06:41,064 But what's so terrible about trousers, historically? 121 00:06:41,064 --> 00:06:42,904 Well, we couldn't wear them for a long time. 122 00:06:42,904 --> 00:06:44,784 You could be arrested for wearing trousers. 123 00:06:44,784 --> 00:06:48,224 It was illegal for women to wear trousers in about 40 cities 124 00:06:48,224 --> 00:06:50,103 in the United States. People were arrested. 125 00:06:50,103 --> 00:06:53,303 They were charged with impersonating a man right up until... 126 00:06:54,543 --> 00:06:56,143 Why would you want to? 127 00:06:57,462 --> 00:06:59,862 Right up until 1923, when the Federal Government 128 00:06:59,862 --> 00:07:02,142 overrode the laws and made it allowable. 129 00:07:02,142 --> 00:07:05,261 Before that, even when serving in the army or mountain climbing, 130 00:07:05,261 --> 00:07:08,021 for example, women had to wear heavy woollen skirts. 131 00:07:08,021 --> 00:07:10,101 Also in Europe, Henriette d'Angeville, 132 00:07:10,101 --> 00:07:14,020 she claimed to be the very first woman to climb Mont Blanc in 1838, 133 00:07:14,020 --> 00:07:15,740 and she did so dressed like that. 134 00:07:15,740 --> 00:07:19,500 Is it cheating to use a ladder to climb a mountain? 135 00:07:19,500 --> 00:07:22,259 They've deliberately taken her a tricky route, haven't they? 136 00:07:24,339 --> 00:07:27,139 Yeah. "You go first, love. We'll come..." 137 00:07:27,139 --> 00:07:29,738 "This is the only way we could do it." 138 00:07:31,618 --> 00:07:33,818 "And why is there a...?" "Could I not have the plank?" 139 00:07:33,818 --> 00:07:35,698 "No, it has to be a ladder." 140 00:07:37,257 --> 00:07:39,457 And it looks like she's going to go along there, 141 00:07:39,457 --> 00:07:41,297 over the next ladder... Yeah. 142 00:07:41,297 --> 00:07:43,617 ..and then just bring her back round again. 143 00:07:47,496 --> 00:07:49,376 "Isn't this the ladder we went over before?" 144 00:07:49,376 --> 00:07:50,936 "No, no, you keep going. 145 00:07:50,936 --> 00:07:52,735 "You're doing very well!" 146 00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:59,495 Actually, I shouldn't say it on TV - 147 00:07:59,495 --> 00:08:03,734 she'll kill me - but I know 148 00:08:03,734 --> 00:08:07,294 where all the teaspoons are. 149 00:08:07,294 --> 00:08:09,293 Oh. My mum. 150 00:08:09,293 --> 00:08:10,893 LAUGHTER 151 00:08:10,893 --> 00:08:15,413 Every shop we go in, 152 00:08:15,413 --> 00:08:19,012 she steals the teaspoons. 153 00:08:20,652 --> 00:08:23,572 Oh... I don't know why! 154 00:08:23,572 --> 00:08:25,371 Where are they? 155 00:08:25,371 --> 00:08:27,771 In her drawer! 156 00:08:27,771 --> 00:08:33,330 And she remembers where they're all from. 157 00:08:33,330 --> 00:08:35,130 LAUGHTER 158 00:08:36,530 --> 00:08:41,889 I'll have a teaspoon and she'll be like, 159 00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:43,409 "Milan." 160 00:08:47,808 --> 00:08:52,888 It got to a point where we'd go 161 00:08:52,888 --> 00:08:56,287 in a nice cafe, 162 00:08:56,287 --> 00:08:58,967 and we go, "Don't." 163 00:09:02,167 --> 00:09:06,526 "Don't." And Mum goes... 164 00:09:06,526 --> 00:09:08,046 "I won't!" 165 00:09:10,006 --> 00:09:13,005 And then we'll come out 166 00:09:13,005 --> 00:09:15,565 and she'll be like... 167 00:09:15,565 --> 00:09:17,525 LAUGHTER 168 00:09:17,525 --> 00:09:19,724 APPLAUSE 169 00:09:23,124 --> 00:09:26,324 What kind of tractor can't move anything 170 00:09:26,324 --> 00:09:28,443 heavier than an ant? 171 00:09:28,443 --> 00:09:30,043 Is it a tractor beam? 172 00:09:30,043 --> 00:09:32,203 It is a tractor beam. No way! 173 00:09:32,203 --> 00:09:35,003 But it can move the Millennium Falcon. 174 00:09:35,003 --> 00:09:38,002 Do you think it is just a matter of science fiction? 175 00:09:38,002 --> 00:09:39,842 The Millennium Falcon? No, not... 176 00:09:42,322 --> 00:09:44,281 So, we are talking about tractor beams, 177 00:09:44,281 --> 00:09:46,241 so those are devices that move objects 178 00:09:46,241 --> 00:09:49,081 using a beam of energy. Now, up until fairly recently, 179 00:09:49,081 --> 00:09:51,720 they were confined to the realms of science fiction, 180 00:09:51,720 --> 00:09:55,240 but Professor Bruce Drinkwater and his team at Bristol University 181 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:56,880 have made one. 182 00:09:56,880 --> 00:09:59,559 It consists of hundreds of tiny little loudspeakers. 183 00:09:59,559 --> 00:10:02,199 They generate sounds that are louder than a jet engine, 184 00:10:02,199 --> 00:10:03,679 but they are too high-pitched 185 00:10:03,679 --> 00:10:05,719 for the human ear to be able to detect it. 186 00:10:05,719 --> 00:10:08,038 And these sound waves, they surround an object, 187 00:10:08,038 --> 00:10:10,878 holding it in place, basically in a sort of invisible cage. 188 00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:13,238 An actual tractor beam? Well, let's find out. 189 00:10:13,238 --> 00:10:15,637 Please welcome Professor Bruce Drinkwater. 190 00:10:15,637 --> 00:10:18,037 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 191 00:10:23,316 --> 00:10:26,756 Right, Bruce, tell me what you are holding in your hand. 192 00:10:26,756 --> 00:10:28,436 Well, this is the tractor beam. 193 00:10:28,436 --> 00:10:31,475 I mean, it looks like a piece of wood with a bit of wire on it. 194 00:10:31,475 --> 00:10:34,235 Yes, it's a low-cost, battery-powered version. 195 00:10:34,235 --> 00:10:36,555 You can make it at home if you want. Amazing. 196 00:10:36,555 --> 00:10:40,274 So, you've got, in this box here, little tiny polystyrene balls. 197 00:10:40,274 --> 00:10:41,994 Yeah, polystyrene balls. 198 00:10:41,994 --> 00:10:44,994 So, if you'd just pick one up for us... Oh, right. 199 00:10:44,994 --> 00:10:47,913 ..and then just drop it down, we can see it just drops, right? 200 00:10:47,913 --> 00:10:50,553 And the idea is that you're going to use the tractor beam 201 00:10:50,553 --> 00:10:52,633 to make this hover in the air, is that right? 202 00:10:52,633 --> 00:10:53,913 It is indeed, yes. OK. 203 00:10:53,913 --> 00:10:56,192 So, as you said, there's a sound field in there 204 00:10:56,192 --> 00:10:59,792 with a little quiet region surrounded by a very loud region, 205 00:10:59,792 --> 00:11:01,232 and so I'm going to try 206 00:11:01,232 --> 00:11:03,551 to put the little object in the quiet region. 207 00:11:03,551 --> 00:11:05,711 You've just got to find the exact spot for it. 208 00:11:05,711 --> 00:11:07,271 There we go. Oh! AUDIENCE: Ooh! 209 00:11:07,271 --> 00:11:09,071 That is extraordinary. 210 00:11:09,071 --> 00:11:11,590 APPLAUSE 211 00:11:14,110 --> 00:11:15,830 So, what's holding it in place? 212 00:11:15,830 --> 00:11:18,509 It's the sound itself making a very, very careful pattern. 213 00:11:18,509 --> 00:11:20,989 Where the particle is, it's like noise cancellation, 214 00:11:20,989 --> 00:11:23,629 so there's no sound. And then, around it, it's very loud. 215 00:11:23,629 --> 00:11:27,908 So, we've sort of sculpted a sound field around the particle. 216 00:11:27,908 --> 00:11:30,948 So, I think of a tractor beam as drawing it towards, 217 00:11:30,948 --> 00:11:32,908 but it seems to be pushing it away. 218 00:11:32,908 --> 00:11:34,747 It might look like it's pushing it away, 219 00:11:34,747 --> 00:11:36,547 but the real proof of a tractor beam is 220 00:11:36,547 --> 00:11:38,347 it's got to be able to pull something 221 00:11:38,347 --> 00:11:40,547 and that will mean that it beats gravity. 222 00:11:40,547 --> 00:11:45,026 So, if I turn this over, hopefully you can see it's beating gravity. 223 00:11:45,026 --> 00:11:47,306 And if I press this button here... Yeah. 224 00:11:47,306 --> 00:11:48,986 ..it will pull the particle up. 225 00:11:48,986 --> 00:11:51,225 No! AUDIENCE: Ooh! 226 00:11:51,225 --> 00:11:52,785 Oops! Oh, there, it dropped. 227 00:11:52,785 --> 00:11:54,665 LAUGHTER 228 00:11:54,665 --> 00:11:56,905 APPLAUSE 229 00:11:59,744 --> 00:12:03,064 Tell me, how do you tackle a toddler's tantrum? 230 00:12:03,064 --> 00:12:07,023 Any thoughts? One useful way that I discovered 231 00:12:07,023 --> 00:12:10,183 is you carry a hessian sack around with you, 232 00:12:10,183 --> 00:12:14,182 and I just put it over the toddler. Yeah. It can't be plastic 233 00:12:14,182 --> 00:12:16,782 cos obviously that's bad for the environment. Yeah. 234 00:12:16,782 --> 00:12:19,982 LAUGHTER 235 00:12:19,982 --> 00:12:22,221 You know, hessian... A hessian sack is enough. 236 00:12:22,221 --> 00:12:26,181 And also, you can also whisper through it... Yeah. ..saying, 237 00:12:26,181 --> 00:12:28,421 "I'm going to throw you in the Thames in a minute." 238 00:12:30,100 --> 00:12:32,540 I don't want to keep banging on about Holland, but they have 239 00:12:32,540 --> 00:12:34,980 Saint Nicholas, Sinterklaas, celebrations and they do... 240 00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:37,939 They threaten to take the children away in a hessian sack. 241 00:12:37,939 --> 00:12:39,939 Is that a thing? It's an actual thing. 242 00:12:39,939 --> 00:12:43,059 Yeah, there was everyone thinking I was weird. Yeah. 243 00:12:43,059 --> 00:12:44,539 LAUGHTER 244 00:12:44,539 --> 00:12:48,698 My tour manager once... His daughter threw a tantrum 245 00:12:48,698 --> 00:12:52,618 and he just started filming her on his phone 246 00:12:52,618 --> 00:12:55,937 and then played it back to her as she was having the tantrum. Right. 247 00:12:55,937 --> 00:12:59,017 And that's how TikTok started. LAUGHTER 248 00:13:00,697 --> 00:13:02,856 It's ridiculous what they start saying, as well. 249 00:13:02,856 --> 00:13:05,216 So it's hard not to laugh in their face when they're there, 250 00:13:05,216 --> 00:13:07,656 and that...that makes it even worse. 251 00:13:07,656 --> 00:13:09,615 One of our daughters started with a dispute 252 00:13:09,615 --> 00:13:11,855 about what she was going to wear when she went out. 253 00:13:11,855 --> 00:13:14,175 And Jane, my wife, said, "No, I..." 254 00:13:14,175 --> 00:13:17,055 You know, said, "Look, you need to change the T-shirt cos it's filthy. 255 00:13:17,055 --> 00:13:19,134 "It's got baked beans on it, and we're going out, 256 00:13:19,134 --> 00:13:20,534 "so we want you to change it." 257 00:13:20,534 --> 00:13:23,134 And it got worse and worse, to the point where she just blew up 258 00:13:23,134 --> 00:13:25,773 and just screamed at Jane, 259 00:13:25,773 --> 00:13:30,373 "Well, anyway, you think you're the fancy lady of all London town!" 260 00:13:30,373 --> 00:13:32,813 LAUGHTER 261 00:13:32,813 --> 00:13:36,092 APPLAUSE 262 00:13:38,452 --> 00:13:40,612 I read a story about that in Australia now. 263 00:13:40,612 --> 00:13:43,131 There's sharks that actually can use their fins to walk 264 00:13:43,131 --> 00:13:44,571 on the bottom of the sea. 265 00:13:44,571 --> 00:13:48,691 They can actually move and actually walk on the land. 266 00:13:48,691 --> 00:13:51,370 Imagine you're, like, getting chased by one, and then you think, 267 00:13:51,370 --> 00:13:53,930 "Oh, nice one, I'm on the beach." And then it gets out after you. 268 00:13:53,930 --> 00:13:55,330 LAUGHTER 269 00:13:55,330 --> 00:13:57,129 Was it an Australian that told you that? 270 00:13:57,129 --> 00:13:59,049 You know what they're like. 271 00:13:59,049 --> 00:14:01,329 Yeah, yeah. 272 00:14:01,329 --> 00:14:04,369 One of my friends went to Australia and went to see some emus 273 00:14:04,369 --> 00:14:06,448 in a wildlife park, and they said, "Now, look..." 274 00:14:06,448 --> 00:14:08,408 Excuse the accent, Aussies. 275 00:14:08,408 --> 00:14:10,968 "If they come at you, they can be aggressive. 276 00:14:10,968 --> 00:14:12,528 "Put your arm up..." 277 00:14:14,087 --> 00:14:15,927 LAUGHTER 278 00:14:15,927 --> 00:14:19,487 "Put your arm up, act like an emu - they'll back right off." 279 00:14:23,846 --> 00:14:26,606 Obviously, that's bollocks, isn't it? 280 00:14:26,606 --> 00:14:29,445 They find it hilarious when the tourists get nervous, 281 00:14:29,445 --> 00:14:31,485 and they start going like that. 282 00:14:31,485 --> 00:14:33,925 LAUGHTER 283 00:14:33,925 --> 00:14:35,845 "Help, help!" 284 00:14:37,764 --> 00:14:40,444 So, the turn of the 20th century, there were stunt performers... 285 00:14:40,444 --> 00:14:43,364 Oh, that actually... Feel quite ill. ..and they combined ballooning 286 00:14:43,364 --> 00:14:48,403 trapezing and parachuting into a single act, right? 287 00:14:48,403 --> 00:14:51,963 They did acrobatics on a trapeze attached to a parachute and hanging 288 00:14:51,963 --> 00:14:54,282 from a hot-air balloon, thousands of feet in the air. 289 00:14:54,282 --> 00:14:56,482 Then they'd cut loose from the balloon, 290 00:14:56,482 --> 00:14:59,042 still on the trapeze with the parachute attached, 291 00:14:59,042 --> 00:15:02,401 and then, hopefully, it would open as you came back down to Earth. 292 00:15:02,401 --> 00:15:04,801 HE CHUCKLES 293 00:15:04,801 --> 00:15:06,441 LAUGHTER 294 00:15:06,441 --> 00:15:08,440 I have to tell you about this particular stunt, 295 00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:10,320 fatalities were common. 296 00:15:12,800 --> 00:15:14,760 Oh, it's not a phrase you want to hear, is it? No. 297 00:15:14,760 --> 00:15:16,999 Same as being a stand-up comic! 298 00:15:16,999 --> 00:15:19,679 But I tell you this to introduce you to a marvellous entertainer 299 00:15:19,679 --> 00:15:22,199 who was called Dolly Shepherd. She was an amazing woman. 300 00:15:22,199 --> 00:15:25,558 She was carrying out a double jump in 1908 when her partner 301 00:15:25,558 --> 00:15:29,718 Louie May's parachute failed, and she was hanging from a trapeze 302 00:15:29,718 --> 00:15:33,397 at 11,000 feet, and she swung over to her friend's trapeze, 303 00:15:33,397 --> 00:15:36,077 who was...she was hanging from the same balloon and grabbed it, 304 00:15:36,077 --> 00:15:38,117 and she got Louie to wrap her legs around her. 305 00:15:38,117 --> 00:15:40,276 And they both descended on Dolly's parachute. 306 00:15:40,276 --> 00:15:42,556 And the heavy landing paralysed Dolly, 307 00:15:42,556 --> 00:15:44,236 and they said she would never walk again. 308 00:15:44,236 --> 00:15:46,276 Four months later, she was back skydiving. 309 00:15:46,276 --> 00:15:50,235 I think it's outrageous that we're called entertainers. 310 00:15:50,235 --> 00:15:51,795 And that's what they did. 311 00:15:51,795 --> 00:15:55,275 During one jump, she nearly landed on an express train, but the driver, 312 00:15:55,275 --> 00:15:59,074 with some forethought, puffed the steam on his engine 313 00:15:59,074 --> 00:16:01,234 and blew her into a ditch. Just... 314 00:16:01,234 --> 00:16:03,354 LAUGHTER 315 00:16:05,593 --> 00:16:07,113 I used to feel bad about going to zoos, 316 00:16:07,113 --> 00:16:08,633 cos they're sort of all locked in. 317 00:16:08,633 --> 00:16:11,193 But then, when we had to do lockdown for two years, I was like, 318 00:16:11,193 --> 00:16:13,592 "Well, I've done my time." 319 00:16:13,592 --> 00:16:15,912 If you rub banana on the roof of your car... Yeah. 320 00:16:15,912 --> 00:16:18,552 ..or the roof of someone you don't like's car, 321 00:16:18,552 --> 00:16:21,151 the monkeys go for it. Ooh, that's a lovely trick. 322 00:16:21,151 --> 00:16:22,751 So, you get all the monkeys on your car. 323 00:16:22,751 --> 00:16:25,311 So, I did that because we had an old car and the kids wanted them 324 00:16:25,311 --> 00:16:26,591 on the roof and stuff, 325 00:16:26,591 --> 00:16:28,790 but I did it on my mate's new car, and he was livid. 326 00:16:31,030 --> 00:16:34,710 So... Did he not question it when you were rubbing a bana... I mean... 327 00:16:34,710 --> 00:16:37,549 I've rubbed a banana in plenty of places, so that weren't the worst. 328 00:16:37,549 --> 00:16:39,789 LAUGHTER That's what I've heard about you. 329 00:16:39,789 --> 00:16:41,149 Yeah. Old banana-rubber. 330 00:16:41,149 --> 00:16:42,469 But, yeah, that's a little tip. 331 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:45,028 Yeah, I did think, "What am I doing with my life?" But I thought, 332 00:16:45,028 --> 00:16:47,508 you know, it's something you got to do for your kids, isn't it? 333 00:16:47,508 --> 00:16:49,708 If you put marmalade on the car, wasps come. Do they? 334 00:16:49,708 --> 00:16:51,707 LAUGHTER 335 00:16:51,707 --> 00:16:53,427 And Paddington Bear. 336 00:16:53,427 --> 00:16:55,627 And just one stuck monkey. Yeah. 337 00:16:57,627 --> 00:16:59,067 Oh, he loved the banana. Oh! 338 00:16:59,067 --> 00:17:01,866 If you've got a neighbour you don't like... Put marmalade on the roof 339 00:17:01,866 --> 00:17:04,346 of their car? ..put marmalade on their car. Not on the roof. 340 00:17:04,346 --> 00:17:09,905 All round the handle. Or just slash their tyres, you know? Wow. 341 00:17:09,905 --> 00:17:12,025 Why are we being so ornate about it? 342 00:17:12,025 --> 00:17:14,225 You hate them? Old school. Yeah. Slash the tyres. 343 00:17:14,225 --> 00:17:17,024 Or just get a Komodo dragon and throw it in their house. 344 00:17:17,024 --> 00:17:19,264 LAUGHTER 345 00:17:19,264 --> 00:17:22,504 It depends on, you know, what you can get. 346 00:17:22,504 --> 00:17:25,783 Or burn it. Just burn their house. 347 00:17:25,783 --> 00:17:28,463 Burn it down, but start off with a little bit of marmalade 348 00:17:28,463 --> 00:17:31,902 around the... Yeah. 349 00:17:31,902 --> 00:17:34,902 So, there was a guy, a guy called George Francis Train. 350 00:17:34,902 --> 00:17:37,102 He was an American entrepreneur. In 1870, 351 00:17:37,102 --> 00:17:38,782 he circumnavigated the world. 352 00:17:38,782 --> 00:17:44,101 He is the person who inspired Jules Verne to write Phileas Fogg. 353 00:17:44,101 --> 00:17:46,980 His name was George Francis Train? Train, I know. Yeah, that's what... 354 00:17:46,980 --> 00:17:48,660 What are the chances? Yeah. 355 00:17:48,660 --> 00:17:50,140 It's a fantastic trip. 356 00:17:50,140 --> 00:17:53,260 It took a long time going round, partly because he was arrested 357 00:17:53,260 --> 00:17:56,099 and held in Lyon Bastille for 13 days. 358 00:17:56,099 --> 00:17:58,019 Did he give it a bad review on TripAdvisor? 359 00:17:58,019 --> 00:17:59,339 Yes, not good. Terrible. 360 00:17:59,339 --> 00:18:03,458 So, what kind of transport did George Train introduce to Britain? 361 00:18:03,458 --> 00:18:06,138 Introduced a mode of transport to Britain? Yes. 362 00:18:06,138 --> 00:18:08,578 Never seen before? Yeah. Paragliding. 363 00:18:08,578 --> 00:18:11,377 No, it's... Funicular. Funicular! Did I get it? 364 00:18:11,377 --> 00:18:13,257 I like just that word. No. 365 00:18:13,257 --> 00:18:15,297 LAUGHTER 366 00:18:15,297 --> 00:18:19,656 Sorry. Train ran Britain's very first successful tram. 367 00:18:19,656 --> 00:18:21,536 Oh, course. 368 00:18:21,536 --> 00:18:23,456 Oh, did he go...? How did he describe it? 369 00:18:23,456 --> 00:18:26,096 He was like, "It's like a train." Yeah, a little bit like a train. 370 00:18:26,096 --> 00:18:28,935 "But it goes on the road." "What are you going to call it?" 371 00:18:28,935 --> 00:18:30,615 "Tram?" "Tram?" 372 00:18:30,615 --> 00:18:32,655 So, his first tram was in Birkenhead. 373 00:18:32,655 --> 00:18:35,094 And what I love about this, he was... 374 00:18:35,094 --> 00:18:37,694 He obviously thought big, George. 375 00:18:37,694 --> 00:18:42,973 He invited all of the crowned heads of Europe to come to Birkenhead 376 00:18:42,973 --> 00:18:44,893 to help open the tram. 377 00:18:44,893 --> 00:18:48,213 Unbelievably, not one of them turned up. Aw. 378 00:18:48,213 --> 00:18:49,933 LAUGHTER 379 00:18:49,933 --> 00:18:52,812 "Oh, no, King of Spain hasn't turned up." 380 00:18:52,812 --> 00:18:56,492 "Princess of Sweden said yes, but I think it's a maybe." 381 00:18:58,092 --> 00:19:00,131 He then set up a line from Marble Arch to Bayswater 382 00:19:00,131 --> 00:19:03,011 in London, very popular, except with wealthy residents 383 00:19:03,011 --> 00:19:05,171 who had to cross the line to get to Hyde Park. 384 00:19:05,171 --> 00:19:08,370 They could not tolerate these new vehicles hogging 385 00:19:08,370 --> 00:19:10,930 a fixed section of the road, on rails sticking up 386 00:19:10,930 --> 00:19:14,489 above the road surface and proving an obstacle to carriages. 387 00:19:14,489 --> 00:19:18,009 Also, not very far, is it, Marble Arch to Bayswater? I know. 388 00:19:18,009 --> 00:19:19,889 "We're off!" Yeah. "We're here." There we go. 389 00:19:19,889 --> 00:19:22,128 LAUGHTER 390 00:19:22,128 --> 00:19:24,928 He's actually a wonderful character. He's wonderfully eccentric. 391 00:19:24,928 --> 00:19:27,568 He used to like to shake hands with himself. What? He was... 392 00:19:27,568 --> 00:19:30,847 LAUGHTER 393 00:19:30,847 --> 00:19:33,807 "How are you doing?" Is that a euphemism, Sandi. 394 00:19:33,807 --> 00:19:36,407 It's a long journey. A long time on his own. 395 00:19:36,407 --> 00:19:37,807 "What are you doing in there?" 396 00:19:37,807 --> 00:19:39,926 "I'm shaking hands with myself." 397 00:19:39,926 --> 00:19:41,446 LAUGHTER 398 00:19:41,446 --> 00:19:43,126 "Get out of my tram!" 399 00:19:44,566 --> 00:19:46,925 "There's no such thing as a tram, you dirty bastard." 400 00:19:48,325 --> 00:19:51,245 "I've just invented it. I'm going to Bayswater." 401 00:19:53,285 --> 00:19:56,364 "But it's only up the road." "Leave me alone! 402 00:19:56,364 --> 00:19:58,324 "I was nearly finished, until you came. 403 00:19:58,324 --> 00:20:00,924 "Oh!" 404 00:20:02,963 --> 00:20:06,963 Anyway, on the subject of right and left handedness, 405 00:20:06,963 --> 00:20:08,803 elephants have tusk-edness. 406 00:20:08,803 --> 00:20:11,562 What, they've got a less good one? Tusk-edness. A preferred tusk? 407 00:20:11,562 --> 00:20:13,842 One is more dominant than the other. Oh, no way. I know. 408 00:20:13,842 --> 00:20:16,722 So, they're born with equal-sized tusks when they arrive. 409 00:20:16,722 --> 00:20:18,961 But then, one of them gets worn down more than the other 410 00:20:18,961 --> 00:20:20,881 because they've used one more than the other. 411 00:20:20,881 --> 00:20:23,481 I don't know, rooting around for food or fighting, or whatever. 412 00:20:23,481 --> 00:20:24,721 I've got a tusk fact. Oh, go. 413 00:20:24,721 --> 00:20:26,160 It's a bit blue. Oh. 414 00:20:26,160 --> 00:20:29,200 Hands up who wants to hear it? CHEERING 415 00:20:29,200 --> 00:20:31,280 I mean, essentially, pretty much everybody. 416 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,599 The Fleetwood Mac album Tusk. Yes. 417 00:20:33,599 --> 00:20:35,599 That is named after... 418 00:20:35,599 --> 00:20:39,599 Mick Fleetwood, apparently, had a very large member, 419 00:20:39,599 --> 00:20:41,998 that he referred to as the Tusk. 420 00:20:43,398 --> 00:20:45,758 Now, this is quite distressing because... Did you...? 421 00:20:45,758 --> 00:20:47,758 I did not need to know that. 422 00:20:47,758 --> 00:20:49,437 LAUGHTER 423 00:20:49,437 --> 00:20:51,757 I paid to meet Mick Fleetwood. 424 00:20:51,757 --> 00:20:54,397 Because you'd heard the rumours about his member? 425 00:20:56,117 --> 00:20:57,197 No. 426 00:20:57,197 --> 00:20:59,236 He's a very tall man. Yeah. 427 00:20:59,236 --> 00:21:02,116 He's, like... Oh, no, you weren't at Tusk height, were you? 428 00:21:02,116 --> 00:21:04,156 LAUGHTER 429 00:21:06,115 --> 00:21:09,075 There's a picture of me and Mick Fleetwood and doing... 430 00:21:09,075 --> 00:21:11,275 I've got my arm around his...his arse. 431 00:21:12,355 --> 00:21:14,154 I was smiling at the camera. 432 00:21:14,154 --> 00:21:16,714 But now I know what was there, I feel quite unwell. 433 00:21:16,714 --> 00:21:18,234 Well, do you know, I... 434 00:21:18,234 --> 00:21:20,514 Good thing you're not a poacher. 435 00:21:20,514 --> 00:21:23,033 LAUGHTER 436 00:21:24,393 --> 00:21:26,873 Now, this leads me on to your connection to teddy bears, 437 00:21:26,873 --> 00:21:30,112 because you have a teddy bear museum, is that right? 438 00:21:30,112 --> 00:21:33,832 I do. My wife and I founded a teddy bear museum many years ago. 439 00:21:33,832 --> 00:21:36,712 And our bears, we now have more than 1,000 of them... 440 00:21:36,712 --> 00:21:39,631 Oh, look! ..and they live in this rather beautiful house 441 00:21:39,631 --> 00:21:44,071 called Newby Hall. Fozzie and Puds...is it Pudsey the Bear? 442 00:21:44,071 --> 00:21:46,670 Yes, that's Pudsey Bear there. Paddington. Paddington. 443 00:21:46,670 --> 00:21:50,230 That's the original Paddington that appeared on television 444 00:21:50,230 --> 00:21:52,869 in the 1970s, when Michael Hordern did the voice. 445 00:21:52,869 --> 00:21:55,429 And that is the original Fozzie Bear. 446 00:21:55,429 --> 00:21:58,149 I love Fozzie Bear. Oh, my God. That Fozzie Bear... 447 00:21:58,149 --> 00:22:00,828 Aaaaargh! 448 00:22:05,828 --> 00:22:08,867 Oh, my God. That... That's so exciting. 449 00:22:08,867 --> 00:22:12,947 ..that Fozzie Bear was given to me personally by Jim Henson, 450 00:22:12,947 --> 00:22:15,267 the creator of The Muppets. Oh, my God. 451 00:22:15,267 --> 00:22:18,306 And as a Christmas treat for all of you, 452 00:22:18,306 --> 00:22:20,266 I have been to Newby Hall, 453 00:22:20,266 --> 00:22:24,226 and I have brought the bear down to introduce the original 454 00:22:24,226 --> 00:22:25,505 Fozzie Bear to all of you. 455 00:22:25,505 --> 00:22:27,865 Oh, look! That is so exciting. And he's here. 456 00:22:27,865 --> 00:22:29,545 There he is. Gyles. Look, here he is. 457 00:22:29,545 --> 00:22:32,744 He's genuinely one of the reasons I got into stand-up. 458 00:22:32,744 --> 00:22:34,704 LAUGHTER 459 00:22:34,704 --> 00:22:37,024 I was like, "That's the best stand-up I know." Oh, wow. 460 00:22:37,024 --> 00:22:39,984 Essentially, how it works is you put your hand right up 461 00:22:39,984 --> 00:22:41,743 the inside, you see? Mm-hm. 462 00:22:41,743 --> 00:22:44,303 And you are underneath it like this. Yeah. 463 00:22:44,303 --> 00:22:47,143 So, Frank Oz, who did the voice, would be down here, 464 00:22:47,143 --> 00:22:49,422 operating it from down here. That's how it worked. 465 00:22:49,422 --> 00:22:52,342 I visited the set for The Muppets in LA, and all of the professional 466 00:22:52,342 --> 00:22:55,142 puppeteers are like bin men, in that they all have one 467 00:22:55,142 --> 00:22:56,781 really solid, good arm 468 00:22:56,781 --> 00:22:59,501 and one slightly weaker one that they have hanging here. 469 00:22:59,501 --> 00:23:01,421 And I went into Miss Piggy's dressing room, 470 00:23:01,421 --> 00:23:03,381 and all of her, like, stuff is genuine Chanel... 471 00:23:03,381 --> 00:23:05,540 I got...I got punched by Miss Piggy once. 472 00:23:05,540 --> 00:23:08,540 LAUGHTER 473 00:23:08,540 --> 00:23:11,140 Story alert. I was interviewing the Muppets. 474 00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:13,379 They'd just released Treasure Island, the movie, 475 00:23:13,379 --> 00:23:14,819 and Frank Oz was there. 476 00:23:14,819 --> 00:23:17,339 Anyway, Miss Piggy found out I was Danish, and she didn't like 477 00:23:17,339 --> 00:23:19,859 what we did to bacon, so... 478 00:23:25,338 --> 00:23:28,497 What use is a telepathic rabbit? 479 00:23:28,497 --> 00:23:31,257 Oh. What kind of rabbit? Is it the animal? 480 00:23:31,257 --> 00:23:33,337 Yes, it's a rabbit. OK. 481 00:23:37,416 --> 00:23:39,056 For the one you were thinking of, 482 00:23:39,056 --> 00:23:42,136 I suppose it would know when to speed up, when to slow down. Oh. 483 00:23:42,136 --> 00:23:44,135 Exactly. Wouldn't it be amazing? 484 00:23:44,135 --> 00:23:46,295 Because... Ann Summers has gone psychic. 485 00:23:46,295 --> 00:23:48,615 LAUGHTER 486 00:23:48,615 --> 00:23:52,894 In my limited experience, women don't always want rampant. 487 00:23:52,894 --> 00:23:55,134 LAUGHTER 488 00:23:55,134 --> 00:23:57,934 Don't think I've ever hit rampant. ALAN: No, I've never hit rampant. 489 00:23:57,934 --> 00:24:01,453 Just plugging away. 490 00:24:01,453 --> 00:24:03,653 Rampant's far too sort of... 491 00:24:03,653 --> 00:24:05,773 I get to tiring quite early. 492 00:24:07,213 --> 00:24:10,732 Rabbit? I'll have one of the tiring rabbits, please. 493 00:24:11,972 --> 00:24:13,612 Slows down after two minutes. 494 00:24:13,612 --> 00:24:15,771 Well, that's...when your batteries are low... 495 00:24:15,771 --> 00:24:17,971 Anyway, it's too much. 496 00:24:17,971 --> 00:24:20,331 But you know what happens when you book me. I know, I know. 497 00:24:20,331 --> 00:24:23,051 And it's always a pleasure. So... It is always a pleasure. 498 00:24:23,051 --> 00:24:25,330 LAUGHTER 499 00:24:25,330 --> 00:24:28,210 APPLAUSE 500 00:24:30,570 --> 00:24:32,649 How many holes can you see in this cheese? 501 00:24:32,649 --> 00:24:34,409 Oh, my God. I can't... Oh, don't look. 502 00:24:34,409 --> 00:24:36,249 You don't like holes, do you? Every time. 503 00:24:36,249 --> 00:24:38,409 Every time, we have holes on this show. 504 00:24:38,409 --> 00:24:40,648 Every time, it's holes! I'm so sorry. 505 00:24:41,688 --> 00:24:43,448 Don't look. 506 00:24:43,448 --> 00:24:46,008 But also, you won't get any points for this one. 507 00:24:46,008 --> 00:24:49,087 It's OK cos they're not right next to each other, 508 00:24:49,087 --> 00:24:51,247 exactly the same size. Oh. 509 00:24:51,247 --> 00:24:53,207 OK, good. 510 00:24:53,207 --> 00:24:55,326 So, how do you use a sieve? 511 00:24:55,326 --> 00:24:56,726 She can't. 512 00:24:56,726 --> 00:24:58,766 Can we not talk about sieves? 513 00:24:58,766 --> 00:25:00,486 LAUGHTER 514 00:25:00,486 --> 00:25:02,646 Every...literally every time I'm on this show, 515 00:25:02,646 --> 00:25:04,245 they show me holes. I'm sorry. 516 00:25:04,245 --> 00:25:06,245 The world has got a lot of holes in it. 517 00:25:06,245 --> 00:25:09,485 Could you play golf, if you never actually looked. 518 00:25:09,485 --> 00:25:11,724 No, it's lots... That's just one hole. 519 00:25:11,724 --> 00:25:14,084 There has to be lots of holes together of the same size. 520 00:25:14,084 --> 00:25:16,404 ALAN: Connect 4. So a cheese grater would be bad? 521 00:25:16,404 --> 00:25:18,404 Connect 4. 522 00:25:18,404 --> 00:25:20,803 Why don't you keep listing things... Sorry. I'm so sorry. 523 00:25:20,803 --> 00:25:22,403 ..that have got loads of holes in them? 524 00:25:22,403 --> 00:25:24,883 Can you...could you...? What's wrong with you, you psycho? 525 00:25:24,883 --> 00:25:27,122 No. Bridget, I feel like I've known you a long time. 526 00:25:27,122 --> 00:25:29,242 I feel like we're quite close. It's never come up. 527 00:25:29,242 --> 00:25:31,162 Only cos you've got no holes in you, Deborah. 528 00:25:31,162 --> 00:25:32,762 LAUGHTER 529 00:25:32,762 --> 00:25:35,321 If I asked you to play a game of tennis, could you do that? 530 00:25:35,321 --> 00:25:37,041 Cos a tennis racket... Well, there's... 531 00:25:37,041 --> 00:25:39,001 They're squares. There's holes in the net. 532 00:25:39,001 --> 00:25:41,241 Do they have to be round? Got to be round, Deborah. 533 00:25:41,241 --> 00:25:43,640 I'm so sorry. I've not been filled in. 534 00:25:43,640 --> 00:25:45,360 I'm not insane. 535 00:25:46,800 --> 00:25:48,440 How many holes in this cheese? Two. 536 00:25:48,440 --> 00:25:50,640 Is correct. 537 00:25:50,640 --> 00:25:53,319 So... 538 00:25:53,319 --> 00:25:56,679 What? 539 00:25:58,519 --> 00:26:00,838 Sorry, why is it getting a clap? 540 00:26:00,838 --> 00:26:03,398 Because there's only two... I never get anything right. 541 00:26:03,398 --> 00:26:05,958 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 542 00:26:05,958 --> 00:26:07,997 He's right. There's only two holes. 543 00:26:07,997 --> 00:26:09,797 But you can see there's only two holes! 544 00:26:09,797 --> 00:26:12,677 SARA: Everyone knows there's only two holes. Nobody else said it! 545 00:26:12,677 --> 00:26:14,037 LAUGHTER 546 00:26:14,037 --> 00:26:16,156 I get one thing right, and look... It's like going, 547 00:26:16,156 --> 00:26:18,836 "How many fingers have I got up?" "Five." "Give him 100 points." 548 00:26:18,836 --> 00:26:20,556 Yeah, I think they're patronising Alan. 549 00:26:20,556 --> 00:26:22,755 Let's give Alan one he can answer, that kind of thing. 550 00:26:22,755 --> 00:26:24,475 LAUGHTER 551 00:26:24,475 --> 00:26:27,795 And then, we'll do a bit of colouring-in and it's home time. 552 00:26:30,594 --> 00:26:33,914 While we're on the subject of legendary television dogs, 553 00:26:33,914 --> 00:26:36,314 please give it up for Basil Brush. 554 00:26:36,314 --> 00:26:39,193 Hey! Hello, hello, hello, hello! CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 555 00:26:39,193 --> 00:26:41,113 How did I ever get this? 556 00:26:41,113 --> 00:26:42,473 Look at this! Hey! 557 00:26:43,553 --> 00:26:44,993 Woo! 558 00:26:46,193 --> 00:26:48,832 Hello. I can't believe I'm on such a clever panel. 559 00:26:48,832 --> 00:26:52,632 This is wonderful. Now, I know this is a very intellectual show, 560 00:26:52,632 --> 00:26:55,231 and you have those elves foraging away behind the scenes... 561 00:26:55,231 --> 00:26:56,471 Yes. ..hunting for facts. 562 00:26:56,471 --> 00:27:01,191 So, I have, in fact, panel, brought along a fun fox factoid... 563 00:27:01,191 --> 00:27:02,990 OK. ..for you all. Right? Yeah. Here we go. 564 00:27:02,990 --> 00:27:08,110 Now, did you know that there is a species of fox that has evolved 565 00:27:08,110 --> 00:27:10,029 to have no ears? 566 00:27:10,029 --> 00:27:12,149 Oh, I didn't know that. What are they called? 567 00:27:12,149 --> 00:27:14,789 Well, you can call them anything you like. They can't hear you. 568 00:27:14,789 --> 00:27:16,349 Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! 569 00:27:16,349 --> 00:27:18,108 Boom, boom! 570 00:27:18,108 --> 00:27:20,308 APPLAUSE 571 00:27:22,988 --> 00:27:25,268 You walked straight into that comedy corridor. 572 00:27:25,268 --> 00:27:26,467 I... Thank you very much. 573 00:27:26,467 --> 00:27:28,947 The real reason you're here, isn't it, Basil, is you're going 574 00:27:28,947 --> 00:27:31,307 to clear up a little bit of general ignorance for us. Yes. 575 00:27:31,307 --> 00:27:33,147 I've got a question primed for the panel. 576 00:27:33,147 --> 00:27:35,026 So, brushes on buzzers, please. 577 00:27:35,026 --> 00:27:38,066 Just call me "Sandi Fox-vig". Rrrrrrrr! 578 00:27:38,066 --> 00:27:42,465 So, where do urban foxes get most of their food from? Hm? 579 00:27:42,465 --> 00:27:44,745 OK, panel? Yes, Greg. 580 00:27:44,745 --> 00:27:46,025 My bins. 581 00:27:46,025 --> 00:27:48,785 KLAXON 582 00:27:48,785 --> 00:27:50,944 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 583 00:27:53,144 --> 00:27:57,024 Incorrect and hurtful stereotyping, if you don't mind. Oh, OK. 584 00:27:57,024 --> 00:27:58,663 Shame on you. Shame on you. 585 00:27:58,663 --> 00:28:00,783 What do urban foxes actually like to eat, then? 586 00:28:00,783 --> 00:28:03,423 Well, I'm more urbane, actually, than urban. 587 00:28:03,423 --> 00:28:04,583 But we're not fussy. 588 00:28:04,583 --> 00:28:07,302 We'll eat rodents... 589 00:28:07,302 --> 00:28:09,902 ..worms, birds, rabbits, even fruit and berries 590 00:28:09,902 --> 00:28:12,262 if we're feeling vegetarian, like Mr Alan. 591 00:28:12,262 --> 00:28:14,981 Or we'll eat all the meat, if we're feeling like you, Miss Sandi. 592 00:28:14,981 --> 00:28:17,301 So I'm quite happy to swing both ways for my stomach 593 00:28:17,301 --> 00:28:18,821 in your back garden. 594 00:28:18,821 --> 00:28:20,301 Now, I've got to say... 595 00:28:20,301 --> 00:28:22,940 LAUGHTER 596 00:28:24,380 --> 00:28:26,740 Just thank you for being present at one of the most 597 00:28:26,740 --> 00:28:28,140 surreal moments of my life. 598 00:28:28,140 --> 00:28:30,059 LAUGHTER 599 00:28:30,059 --> 00:28:32,539 APPLAUSE 600 00:28:34,659 --> 00:28:37,019 I mean, we do rummage in your bins occasionally. 601 00:28:37,019 --> 00:28:38,178 You can't blame us. No. 602 00:28:38,178 --> 00:28:40,298 I mean, you do throw away lovely leftovers. 603 00:28:40,298 --> 00:28:42,498 And Sandi... Yes. ..if you don't mind me saying, 604 00:28:42,498 --> 00:28:45,977 that grilled herring the other night was delicious. 605 00:28:45,977 --> 00:28:48,417 So, I'm looking forward to finding out what you're going 606 00:28:48,417 --> 00:28:50,497 to be making for tea when I get home tonight. 607 00:28:50,497 --> 00:28:52,737 So, I'm going to make a quick exit to your back garden, 608 00:28:52,737 --> 00:28:54,616 down my escalator. 609 00:28:54,616 --> 00:28:58,816 HE BUZZES The one and only Basil Brush! 610 00:28:58,816 --> 00:29:01,255 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE