The nation to the station as we go by road and rail, let's meet my fellow roadies off the beaten track. It's Cali Vita
It's actually be driving holiday whale of a time. It's Alan Davis Ray Lee Cali goes
Ashley go Polly goes
So I think you're gonna be needing this
This rather pleasingly it is a
A
Rail replacement buzz service
I'll just back her up
To control it. No, that's a terrible idea. Isn't it great?
Transit simply because it's just about your size. Yeah
Let's get the road on the show in which country can you drive from east coast to west coast on route 66?
No, no, come on everybody's done the show before
Right, yeah, yeah, because it's the answer the wrong answer
Okay, so we want to drive from coast to coast. There is only one country with a coast to coast route 66
Any thoughts where it might be?
Yes, armenia armenia
Weirdly is not a klaxon because we haven't thought of it
I think it's called australia australia. No, uh
Closer to home person closer to home england. It's the uk. Yes, it is the uk. Yeah
So the a66 which i'm sure you've all thought let's take a driving holiday
Uh, it goes 115 miles coast to coast
It is from middlesbrough in the east to workington in the west. It passes through actually lovely places. Darlington keswick
cockermouth
Sounds weird doesn't it? It does
Rolls off the tongue, of course
What everybody does when they walk across england that walk isn't that the I don't know if you do it on the a-roads
That would be a bit boring
No, that makes it easier surely
You know the way in america people are always like, you know what?
Let's give up our jobs and go on route 66 and take a car and just discover ourselves
It doesn't feel like people would be going like from darlington to cockermouth
Yeah finding remote jazz clubs
The counterculture
Experimenting with new drugs. We've been to every gregg's along the a66
It's not the same since they shut the little
So the a66 in 2018 was named motorway of the year
Thank you, yes
I wonder who would collect that like who would go. Oh my god. It's me
So why might it suddenly be
Named motorway of the year the a66 was it transitioning did it identify as a motorway?
Yes weirdly, yes
For one single mile it identifies as a motorway. Yeah, that's all it takes
It's a66 brackets m
For a single mile and apparently in the great contest to be motorway of the year. That's enough is it
The american route 66 that's which we know about it never ran coast to coast
Route 66 starts in chicago, which is about 700 miles from the atlantic and then it travels through missouri
Kansas, oklahoma, texas and new mexico and arizona all the way to santa monica in california
I actually drove part of route 66 all right with my children and that is a lot of games of i-spy
I can tell you it's a long road, but in missouri. There's a fudge factory called uranus
And they have obviously the usual welcome to uranus life's pretty sweet in uranus it's yeah
Oh, I need to go and then we got divorced a year later, but it was nice
You and the children
They're still in uranus
There are some fabulous things to see on the way there's a wonderful ghost town in oatman, arizona
Where you can still see one of the former brothels. It's called fast fannies
There it is
Other attractions the world's largest concrete totem pole who doesn't want to see that and the world's okay
I love this the world's second largest rocking chair
Yeah
Kind of disappointing so the one on the left says world's largest it was it no longer is it's on route 66
It's 42 feet tall. It's in cuba, missouri the one on the right has out done them
It's now in casey, illinois 56 and a half feet tall
And one of the things if you want to be the biggest rocking chair in the world
It has to actually be able to rock but they now have had to cement them in because it's so bloody dangerous
To have a rocking chair that big
Um
There is a thing alan that I discovered, uh on the route that I think you would like which is in
Cartusa, oklahoma
There was a guy whose wife collected miniatures of blue whales
He was a retired zookeeper called hugh davis and for their wedding anniversary
He decided to make a blue whale that is 20 foot tall and 80 foot long
Yeah for a wedding anniversary for a wedding anniversary present. Yeah, how disappointing I know
Yeah
It took him nearly 3 000 hours to complete during imagine the jobs he could have done around the house
He's got a very elaborate man cave, isn't it? It's got an opening at the top
Yeah, you can jump off the side. It's got steps. I think it's marvelous
Do you find that quite a beautiful, um anniversary present than if someone made that for you
Well, I would especially if I had my own personal lake
Route 66 it was almost route 62. It doesn't have the same
Does have the ring to it does it you can't rhyme it with kicks, can you no you can rhyme it only with poo
Yeah
You call it route 69 although that would have gone from the top to the bottom and the back again
The road was officially removed from the u.s highway system in 1985 and replaced by interstate highways
But there are signs up now that say historic route or state route that kind of thing you can follow it
It's actually worth doing. It is a fantastic route. Do you reckon we could drive the bus all the way around the set?
Oh, I really really
Would go down the hill. I think it would maybe oh i'd love to see it go down the hill
We may need to catch it at the end. Yeah. Yeah
Go give it some throttle go on it was just briefly like the italian job
Many route 66 road signs were stolen for souvenirs that in some places they painted the signs on the road instead
But what's the best way to stop people from stealing road signs?
Oh i'm
I'm i'm from dorset north dorset two points and there's um
Well, I just didn't want to leave anything to chance so i'm from dorset and there's a place called um shittington
Uh, it's actually called shitterton. Yes shitterton even yes and the local residents
So what they did was because um hilarious people kept stealing the sign that said there it is
Oh, there you go shitterton
So they clubbed together
Um, and instead of buying the people who were stealing the signs a life
They decided they would buy a big heavy rock formed sign so no one could steal
Yeah, it weighs a ton and a half and so far it's not gone
And i have to say they've done the same in the austrian town of fucking
But what they've done in america particularly in one particular county colesville maryland
They've started taking the vowels out of signs so anything to do with drugs for example
So there was a place called stoner drive and that sign kept getting stolen
It now looks like this they've just taken the vowels out
And it stops people that are taking the other problem is mile markers that say 69 on them those kept getting stolen
They now say 68.9
Just to keep them going I tell you what see how we are at red science, let's play what's that sign
What's that sign
Okay, have a look at this first sign and can you tell me what it is for wobbly truck wobbly trucks
toasters in use
So they did a survey by quick fit they surveyed 45 000 drivers 26 percent could not identify this sign
100 of you on the panel anybody in the audience put your hand up if you think you know what this is
Yes darling with the beard
It is adverse camber
Wow
Wow, I bet you're fun
Yes, that'll be adverse camber. Yeah, that'll be that's his safe word
How on endorse it doesn't it? Oh, she's living in adverse camber at the moment
Uh, try this one. What does this one mean anybody no waiting
Does it mean no waiting, sir?
No, what's it mean? Is that the swedish flag? No, the swedish flag is blue and yellow
I don't want to be shamed for just guessing sandy
I've failed my driving test twice now, right and every single time
They're just the ones you don't need to come up in the book like oh no
It pigeons nearby or something like that
I passed my test so long ago. There wasn't a written before pen before pen
Was it mostly just like and the horse goes this way?
I was at school and we all made to take our driving test and it was my 18th birthday and as we pulled away
From the driving test center a small child ran out into the road and I did an emergency stop
And the woman who was doing the test she went fucking hell. You can have your license
Does literally nobody know what it is. Yes a gentleman in the red shirt
It is a clear way. Absolutely right same thing. Uh, well, it means no you can't even stop and yes
Yeah
Give you an extra point so that you don't have a seizure this person to get road rage
In the survey 33 percent of people could not identify this sign it is indeed a clear way and the final one
Let's have a look at this. Anybody know what this is?
Yes, is that one? Don't take offense
Don't take offense from the top of a barber's shop
Anybody know what it identifies is it to do with the level crossing it is to do with the level crossing
What do the bars below it mean? I'm just trying to lip read the man in the audience who knows
His wife's having the best afternoon of her life
Has to be out the house is it? Yeah
Hands off anybody who knows what this one I bet you whoever knows the next answer will have a white beard
No stopping on the level crossing. No is you need a sign for that? Yes
We parked so close to the station
Yeah, so it is it's counting down the distance to the level crossing very well done
The middle-aged white man
You're living in the middle-aged white man world
So there was an issue in the 1960s there was a lack of consistency to uk road signs
And so they set up a commission and the graphic designers margaret calvert and jock connear were commissioned to come up with the standardized
Signs in fact, they were all designed by margaret calvert. The little girl is based on herself at school
The cow is actually based on a cow she knew called patience
And she always hated the jokes that were made about her men at work sign
She says because I drew the shovel going into a mound of earth
It looks a little like a man having difficulties with a very large umbrella
I just wish i'd left the tip on it to show it was a shovel
It'd be quite funny if that was like her burying her husband and she's like i'm going to use this for cash
I'm going to draw it later
The first one was based on her leading her husband
Into his grave he's like he's like where are we going darling to see a cow
But you know why because he made her a blue whale for her anniversary
Uh from roads in britain to roads in greece describe the pose of the colossus of roads
It's a sort of a man spread a sort of
Power stance
Is it not there anymore
It isn't there anymore. That is absolutely true. So we are trying to imagine what it would have looked like
Oh, so every answer is right
Except the one where it's astride the harbour
And went to roads once and they made a big play of this bloke used to stand across the harbour with his legs
Either side of the opening so, you know someone needs to tell them. I know it's a myth
Oh, that looks sore. That does look uncomfortable
Um, if the statue had been built over the harbour in that way
They would have had to close the harbour for 12 years
Which you know what construction's like people going are you going to finish any day soon? Oh, we're a little bit longer
Can't get his underwear on we started
And then the statue we do know fell down in the earthquake of 225 bc
Just 50 years after it was built. It was made of bronze sections. It had an iron and stone framework
It could not have been built with its legs apart. It would have absolutely collapsed under its own weight
There's also a clue in its name colossus
So colossus was a particular type of statue that was found in asia minor which always had its legs close together
So it's like angel of the north sort of thing. Yeah more like the angel of the north exactly right?
Yeah, in fact the harbour straddling idea came from an italian visitor called nicola de martoni
Uh in sunday, I know right?
I do the whole thing with it. Yeah
He said at the statue the people had told me
One foot on the wharf where the church of st. Nicholas stands at the other end on the wharf where the windmills are
Thank you very much
Anyway, not only was this secondhand information it was 1500 years out of date
It's just it's stuck
There's that wonderful bit in uh in julius scissor
Why man he doth bestride the narrow world like a colossus and we petty men walk under his huge legs
And peep about to find ourselves dishonorable graves. I mean, it's beautiful, isn't it? Um, we've all been there
The things you can quote and the things I can quote are just totally not
I'm not a girl. Not yet a woman, of course as britney spears once sang in her
Hit i'm not a girl. Not yet a woman
If you have a look at the modern attempt, so this is a design they have thought many times to try and redo this
That's very tasty if I saw it down on a dating app it'd be like no personality come on
What's in the bowl what's in the bowl one pound of gas what's in the bowl
That just looks like something that they would build in dubai in about five years time
If you look just behind his left leg you can see there's a third strut to actually hold it in place
That is what penis coming out the back
It's got an anal rod, yeah some fudge he bought at uranus
Why would that be a desirable thing for ships to go under like that would be wouldn't you just be like
Good
I think it'd be more fun if it was a bit like a thing where you'd come towards it and the legs open as you
Oh, it's it's hot was like a massive rope swing
It's possible we've gone too far
Every morning went whoa
I'm moving
Britain is home to the world's oldest working model railway. It was first built in 1912
But what was the point was it so a 10 year old rod stewart had something to play with his birthday
There is an astonishing railway that rod stewart has built this which looks like a proper railway station with all the buildings
This is rod stewart's model railway and he has been working on it for 26 years
He's handcrafted all the buildings and when he's on tour
He has a special room set aside where he can build his railway
Isn't it funny that someone who puts out so much sexuality can destroy it all with something
I also it's good for the for the lady there with the road sign expert to know things could be worse
Well, I absolutely love model railways and I have a little train that runs around the skirting boards in my office
But after I saw rod stewart's I realized that mine needs a little bit of work. So this is rods. This is mine
Yeah, that's amazing. So does it go right the way around around on the skirting board?
I want to get a bridge at the door that'll open and close like that a bridge at the door
Yeah, so that we could open the door and the bridge would go up like that
You wouldn't have to have signed 20 meters before you get to the big thing
Track approaching exactly no offense. Yeah, what about if you had a colossus with a swinging dick opening and shutting down?
So let's go back to this particular railway built in 1912 were they making a plan designing something
It's certainly to do with the plan though. It was in use until 1995. Was it a training device?
It was a training device. So at the lancashire and yorkshire railways signaling school at victoria station in manchester
They used a model railway because you do not want to practice your signaling
Not an actual railway. No
No, I didn't want to get the mistake
Did they have a model buffet car where they could practice saying no more cheese toasties after milton keene's or do you know?
Do you know what I miss? I miss british rail fruitcake. That was nice
What about the pre-buttered malted loaf? That's a bit of a divider. Do you have an opinion about those?
I don't know what you're talking about
Yeah
What you know the serene malted it's a malted loaf if you bought it would still be good to eat in 50 years
So model trains are still used to train railway stuff
So tfl have a place called ashfield house in kensington and the tube staff use our stupid
In the way, it's behind you
I'll to use the platform
What am I doing wrong hit
It's a mock-up of a tube station, it's called west ashfield. It's on the third floor
Complete with tracks and signals and barriers and a train and so on and they train
1500 to 2000 drivers and operational staff there every year
The very first model railway was built in 1859 was built for the three-year-old son of emperor napoleon the third
Lamond reported I should do this in french. Oh, please
Take another jerk
Oh la la the railway did for the amusement of the prince imperial is a real toy as well as a masterpiece
of mechanical science
Its track is in the shape of the figurette the wit and the caricature of its tiny rails is reminiscent of surprising curves of the railway
Secret to catching the invisible rail
I'm 50
I'll take your silence a stunt. That's fine
No, let's do it again everybody's gonna say no ready go ahead so i'm i'm 50 what
None taken so uh, but there was a man who said that women at 50 are invisible
Not to men who were 54
So I thought maybe it's a 50 year old woman. Yeah, certainly in a restaurant. That is true
Yeah, have you tried popping one tit out and seeing if they can see
Don't need to come across as loose or fast
Yes
They just sort of fall out and drag with you you've got to be very careful so like you go pop it out under your
You have to pop it out and then you have to go oh, oh, oh, oh yeah
I'm gonna ask again. Um
Word for the overhead power cable is it no it isn't in fact
We are being misleading with our illustration. Oh, I think I know it
It's a bird. It is a bird. You're absolutely right an invisible. What's a bird? Well rail
So they're small often rather dull looking birds frankly, but they live on the ground
They live in marshy areas in very very difficult to reach. I mean that one's dead. You know, that one's dead. No
So these are the largest of the flightless birds, uh, so it's probably about it's probably about this big cousin of a chicken
perhaps sandy
I
Meant to say it's the smallest of the flightless
I'm still stuck on your tip coming out from under your bed
It's the smallest
Uh of the flightless birds and one of the most elusive is called the invisible rail
So called because of its ability to hide in the long grass
There was a guy a german biologist called gerd heinrich and he's the very first person to have caught an invisible rail
And he said i'm solidly confident no european has ever seen this rail alive for that requires such a degree
Of toughening and such demands on oneself as I cannot so easily attribute to others and he wasn't exaggerating
So he went to this indonesian island called halma hira and this terrible dense bug-ridden thorn
Wilderness and in order to get himself ready and toughen himself up. He rolled naked in beds of nettles
So I know he was keen. He was very very keen just shouting adverse camber
I think he left his pants on why you don't want a nettle sting on your no your penis
Yeah, I mean you might as well just keep everything else on and just roll your penis in the nettle
If you've got one on your penis, you're not going to think about any of the other
Just sting your penis and leave your clothes on until I was there I'd just swing one breast into the nettle
And
Rails tend to live in places where human beings don't
Because human beings bring dogs and rats and so on so they tend to live in inaccessible places sandy have I missed a trick
Why did he roll in the nettles to catch the bird?
He wanted to toughen himself up so he wanted to toughen himself up because he was afraid of that bird
No, it's the inhospitable terrain
I mean, it's a horrendous place because there are no human beings there. Why don't we just go to lewish him?
Because there are no rails there there's a dlr do you know what I
Rails and not once did we come up with the question why not just go to lewish
The smallest one of these is the inaccessible island rail. Isn't that fantastic which lives on an inaccessible island?
Hence well named
28 miles southwest of tristan acuna middle of the south atlantic and you can only go for one week in the year
What bit of a person is that?
What are we comparing the size of this to I I think it's a finger i'm gonna hope it's a finger so do I
I think it's a finger
Do you know what in fairness as dick pic goes that's like a better one
Tiny rare bird on it
It's only one week the year
All right, yeah, it's just for scale it's a giant eagle look at the size
Now back to the railways tell me who wouldn't be seen dead in first class who wouldn't be caught dead
There's a clue in the question
I dated a pilot for a bit, you know an ex red arrow actually when you say you dated him for a bit a bit
Of what exactly?
Well, I did say to him will you um
We were in a bit of a saucy situation I said will you do the um pilot's voice
Will you pretend you're landing the plane and he said, um, where are we landing?
Uh
He didn't enter into the spirit of things at all he started asking if we'd had clearance from the tower
But he said to me it has something to do. Okay. Well, I just thought you'd like that image. Um, and then um,
This whole show has been a delight for me
He said to me that they have cupboards for if people die in the plane
They put them in a holding area because people do die in the air
And they put them in a sort of you know where they might put your bags or your coat they put cadavers if someone dies
They have a not
Can you imagine trying to stuff that like
That's impressive
It was a specific railway that ran from waterloo out to brookwood in sari why would it do that?
It's the largest cemetery in the whole of the uk
And there used to be the london necropolis railway and it was built in the 1850s and it was to transport bodies out
They had a real problem with where they were going to put dead bodies. I know sorry. Yes
The churchyard of san martin in the fields was only 200 foot square and yet it had 60 000 people in it
So they really what is that the one of um of jefaga square? Yeah, it's necro
Dead people. Yes, it is. I recognize that from another phrase. Yes
Yes
So the trains had first second and third class carriages for the dead
The main sell of the first one was that your loved dead person did not have to be anywhere near
A lower class person as they left london. It was open between 1854 and 1941 an estimated
203,000 people made that being a one-way train in coffins
Yes, so there was a hearse carriage and then there was a mourner's carriage hearst class. Yeah
First and second class mourners had their own waiting room away from the third class and then anglicans and non-anglicans
Had separate stations at the cemetery and actors would always get off at the non-conformist stop
Because it was the only one that would perform funerals on a sunday
And that's the only day that actors got day off
And so they were buried in a special section on a sunday
What I like is there was a licensed bar at brookwood station when you arrived and there was a large sign that said
spirits served here
I love that. There was just a day for actors to have that must have been the loudest day the sunday. Yeah
Maybe I can have her part
May 1876 the train was delayed because its driver john wilkinson collapsed and died after climbing into the
Not funny. It's not funny
Chuck him in the back. Yeah
Anyway, you can still see the entrance to the necropolis railway if you have a look there
It's flats now, but that is the old entrance to the london necropolis. He said that was a watery. Yeah
Even in death the second-class carriage was a place where nobody wanted to be
What did charles rolls and henry reuss make together
Was it sweet sweet love
They did make something together was that royce's rolls a famous sandwich shop
They make jet engines, don't they?
Yes that they didn't actually make them together think the only thing they made together was money
That's it really
So charles rolls is the one on the left. He was the car dealer and henry reuss who is the one on the right?
He is the one who made them but they didn't make anything together whatsoever
So royce he made all sorts of domestic electrical fittings and dynamos and that kind of thing
And in 1901 he bought a french de coval kind of car
He thought I could make a better car than this and he started to make them
And charles rolls was a car dealer in fulham and he was very impressed with royce's first car
And he agreed to take them all and when you bought a rolls royce
They only provided the chassis
You got the engine and the wheels and the chassis and then you went to a carriage builder and got them to build
The rest of the car for you. I dated someone at once
What sort of automobile did he drive he
He drove a rolls royce phantom and you were like, yeah. Well, my last boyfriend was in the red arrow. I was
So he told me that the upholstery is made out of bull hide not cow hide because cows get stretch marks during pregnancy
So even the cars are sexist not just the drivers. Oh, they can't have that's extraordinary
In fact, they don't make any cars at all now
They stopped making cars in the in the mid 80s and it's now owned by bmw
Roger kippling had a rolls royce phantom and the thing about um
We still know it's you rudyard
That is a ass it does look extraordinary the baby's bottom attached to his chin
So rather famously rolls royce's never breaks down they very occasionally failed to proceed
And in 1932 rudyard kippling had a rolls royce phantom and it failed to proceed and he was in the south of france
And so he phoned the company's paris office and he said, you know
You must send a mechanic and at noon the next day still hadn't heard anything
He was quite cross and he was going to send a complaint
He asked the hotel and the manager replied the gentleman from rolls royce came last night
It was only a minor matter and it turned out the mechanic had come in the middle of the night fixed it
Gone before sunrise and didn't announce it because he didn't want to disturb kippling sleep
They had a principle didn't they that no one would ever see a rolls royce at the side of the road
Yeah down well more than 60 percent of the cars ever made by rolls royce are still roadworthy
And now i'm afraid i'll have to railroad you onto the road to ruin that we call general ignorance fingers on buzzers, please
You got your bell
Uh, what is the most expensive metal on earth?
Yes, I didn't mean to do that. It just went off
The most expensive yes most expensive metal on earth
I don't know
I'm gonna give five points for absolute honesty
It's one of the noble metals, uh, it is incredibly expensive because it is both useful and rare foil
Yes foil is a noble metal
Rhodium is the answer. So for example gold at the moment costs about fifty thousand dollars a kilo platinum is about
27 000 a kilo this costs
350 000
That sounds like something that a rapper would get it's his teeth done in rodeo. Yeah
I mean whether you could or not, I don't know. There's hardly any of it mined in the world. It's so expensive
What's it used in catalytic converters about 80 percent of all rhodium is used in catalytic converters
The amount you'd have in a car. It's the same weight as about a quarter of what a postage stamp weighs
Um, but it adds 70 pounds to the price of your so rather than nicking a car
All I need to do is phrase it open
Go through it and get the rodeo map. That's what people do. Yeah, I have mine stolen
Just for the road catalytic converter out of the car
They pull up with a power tool you go underneath it cut it off and they've gone in two minutes
And you're just driving along
You've parked it you've gone about your business and when you come back your car's going
I think i'm start making them into like rings for weddings and stuff like that
Well, yes darling because it is in jewelry so it's used especially as a plate for white gold
It can give that sort of a reflective surface. So it is using that it's also used in
Heart pacemakers they get nicked all the time as well. Yeah
Going about your business 20 seconds later, they've nicked your pacemaker
But it's it's tiny the average ton of the earth's crust contains about 0.001 grams of rhodium
So that's about the 30th of the weight of a grain of rice in 2018
Only about 22 tons was mined which is the weight of a single anchor for a cruise ship
If you imagine it's used in virtually every car
In the world now and you can see why the price is so high
But it's possibly it's not going to be a great investment because what's going to happen about catalytic converters?
Everyone's going electric. Everybody's going electric. So we won't need them anymore
But here's a really interesting problem with electric cars because they don't make much noise pedestrians cannot hear them coming
So there is a new law that all cars have to make a significant noise
What noise do you think would be a good noise for a car to make dukes of hazard?
I used to live near a strip joint in hackney and they used to drive around with a kind of a board
At the back and it used to be orgasm noises
It's nice they've got a picture of the car you took your driving test
It is a serious problem jaguar made a car that made a noise like a spaceship from a science fiction film
But what happened is is the car approached people from behind they all went
I was in a taxi in dublin once and when uh your man beeped the beep the horn instead of like a beep
It made the sound of horses going
Like that so people didn't jump out of the way. They just sort of looked straight at the car thinking it might be a horse
See, I love this. So what do you think would be a good sound an engine noise?
I imagine on some kind of engine
Yeah
Like they put the sound of camera clicks on phones because people are stupid and they think it doesn't sound well
The camera has to sound like a camera this is a serious issue because if you're going to have electric cars for police
Should they have a noise because sometimes they want to sneak up don't they on a burglar?
So she'd be able to turn it off if it's a police car. So sometimes it can go nanu nanu and sometimes
About burglar alarms and stuff if rather than sort of like, you know
It was just like a child's voice singing ring a ring of roses or something like oh
This is haunted we need to get out of here
The elves tell me making things looks or sound older more naturalistic. They are is called skewer morphism
Making things sound older than sound older than they are
So that that idea of having a sort of an old-fashioned click or uh, you know
When some people have on their smartphone, they have the sound of an old-fashioned telephone ringing
It's like, you know people do wind down the window when really they should
On a car they should do that or like cleaning your teeth
Like that's the mind we've cleaned your teeth, but everyone's got electric toothbrushes now, but this that's yeah
I don't have an electric toothbrush, but all the kids want them. They are deafening and very irritating last thing
Why is the car?
Totally silent. Yes, the tiny little toothbrush gave me
That's a question for the ages
Right moving on these matches work thanks to a chemical reaction, which I'm sure you know involves
Phosphorus, but can you tell me where the phosphorus is?
Well, I've presumed it's in the colored tip at the end, but is it on the scratchy plate?
Are they normal size matches or are they?
So these are safety matches and the phosphorus is actually on the side of the box
It also has some powdered glass in this strip and it's the friction when the match strikes right then you were right
Anybody know how you might make phosphorus, which is of course the really flammable bit two twigs and dryness
Uh, no, just boil urine
Of course, yeah, but don't because it'll set fire if you boil urine it'll set fire
Well, it'll boil it down to the phosphorus and then that's how it was discovered from someone who had bad cystitis
It was discovered in 1669 by a german chemist who was boiling up some urine
Why but he was an alchemist and he wanted to see what happened. Yeah, what happened was he discovered he was an alcoholic
There is a legend which I like that swan vester the famous match company once saved thousands of pounds
After a factory worker suggested that they put sandpaper only on one side of the matchbox
And it was a suggestion scheme and that they saved loads and loads of money by no longer putting the striking side on both
It's like panel shows they'd now put three women on it just saves so much more
How many terminals are there at heathrow airport see it well i'm gonna say five and you're
Yeah
Alan, what do you reckon the three are on the airport? It's the other two further away. Is that what it is?
No, it's that there are four there is no terminal one
There is no there's a sign. Yes
The sign is incorrect terminal one closed down in 2015
And all flights were diverted to terminal two sort of sad really because when it opened in 1969
It was the biggest passenger terminal in the whole of western europe and by the end
It was sort of tragic there were like five shops and 20 planes and they did it to expand to terminal two
So there is no longer so we're never always on about building a third runway
They could just get the one out of one but a runway and a terminal
Yeah, just do that
Has anybody here heard of terminal six at heathrow? Oh, is that the one you run out and if you're a wizard you get through
Yeah
Supposedly reserved for famous people royals heads of state and have you been in it
So I have never it is a posh lounge behind an unmarked door in terminal five apparently when you fly
Do you get whisked off like yeah, not with the normal people you have to pay. Uh, it's
2,750 pounds plus vat could any of us get whisked anybody could get whisked anybody at all as long as you've got
The money so you pay that on top of your normal ticket. Yeah, there's no shops there at all
But but you know big brands like dior will bring stuff to you
And what I love is you get taken to the plane by a bmw. So you have been whisked i've read and salivated
Let's look at the scores our winner today leaving everyone in their dust with nine points is holly
In second place, well, i'm not surprised with three points because it was an excellent contribution the audience
Third place frankly failing to proceed um with minus nine. It's alan
In fourth place with minus 25 ashling
It's broken down on the hard shoulder with minus 30. It's cally
Holly and alan and I leave you with this from one of the greatest motor racing drivers of all time juan manuel fangio
Driving fast on the track does not scare me
What scares me is when I drive on the highway I get passed by some idiot who thinks he's juan manuel fangio
Thank you and good night