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Good evening tonight's episode of QI is even more ridiculous than usual partly because

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Ridiculous is our theme and partly because we're filming in March 2020 without an audience because of the corona virus outbreak

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So bear with us as we bring you a show replete with ridiculous riddles

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Ridiculous episode of QI Walsh, Posterous Maisie Adam

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Um

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The ludicrous david mitchell

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And no, but seriously alan davison their buzzers are a right laugh holly goes

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And macy goes

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Uh david goes

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And alan goes

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Extra point who's that jimmy car

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Is that a fox on heat no point in saying anything amusing there's no one to hear it

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Jimmy car that's the factual

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Get an extra point. Thank you

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Uh, what is the funny thing about not having an audience?

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That exact noise that noise that silence. I mean, it's a sort of interesting experiment

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I mean i've definitely done shows in the edinburgh fringe where this would count as quite a good audience

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Yes, there's nearly 10 of them and you know

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Only some of them are part of the team

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I did the smallest audience i've ever paid to I did a gig once in which uh, my mother-in-law turned up

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Oh god, just your mother just my mother-in-law. No, i'm sure that wasn't an intervention. I said

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Sandy's still calling it a gig

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What's the smallest gig you've ever played? Oh, it was probably a preview just before edinburgh and then

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My flatmate from uni hazel turned up

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And it was just her and then these two guys had come to exit flyer my show

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But obviously my audience was just hazel. Yeah, and well hazel went home with about 40 flyers for a show

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Yeah, and both the guys. Yeah. Yeah both guys. It was a great night for hazel

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This does have the feel of like, you know when you used to put a play on for your mom and dad in the front room

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Yeah, it does sort of feel a bit like that only to really you have david mitchell

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Yeah, yeah

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So there is canned laughter, but not for us

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We never use it on the qi. Um, but laugh tracks for tv shows were first created in 1950

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And there was an american sound engineer called charlie douglas and he invented what is called a laugh box la

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Double f and it was just loads of different laughs that you could use if you weren't recording in front of a live audience

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We're still not there and without wishing to blow my own trumpet because it was only one of a team of contributors

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But I had a radio show in the late 90s

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And we were so funny

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But the people at bbc comedy said we can use those laughs on nearly every other program we make and sell them on

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Sell them on

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You've been feeding off that laughter bank. That was the best compliment I ever had in my whole career

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We've kept your laughs and we use them on other shows. There's real joy in those laughs

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That will that'll save a load of programs. I think most of them were for kevin elden

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Thank god

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But this guy charlie douglas he monopolized the hollywood laugh track market

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And apparently there was a limited number of laughs and you could recognize them

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They came up repeatedly the same laughs over and over again. Some people don't like it

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But the research suggests it works in principle the ucl's institute of cognitive neuroscience

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They expose people to a list of deliberately weak dad jokes. So they ran the jokes with no laugh at all

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They ran them with a recording of being told to laugh at nothing in particular

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So a fake laugh and then with another recording of people who were genuinely laughing

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So a real laugh and the ones with the real laughs rated higher than the fake ones

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And even the fake ones rated higher than the no laugh. So we're going to have an experiment now

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So i'm going to tell you the actual joke that the researchers used and we'll try it with and without a laugh track

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Okay, so what do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

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I don't know

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a dino snore

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Wow

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Okay, uh, I think it might have been the delivery. Do you think it was my fault?

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Okay, we should have got a professional comedian. I shouldn't if only I could have found somebody who can tell a joke

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It's not fair to do in front of comedians because I don't know about you

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But i'm just so hardened to watching comedians say jokes so someone could do the best joke in the world

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And i'm like, yeah, that's great. Yeah, no i've lost all sense of joy in comedy. Yes

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Most of my fans, yes

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But uh, but that would be a great way of testing comic delivery because there's virtually no

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Humor in the joke yet. It is a joke people know where they're supposed to laugh. Yeah, you've got a terrible joke, though

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Well, it's yeah, I do have a this is a joke I tell sometimes for radio recordings

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Um, I didn't even think of it and and the amount of thought that goes into it is so small

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But it is not mine. The joke is

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What's a ghost's favorite country?

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Uh, what is a ghost's favorite country france?

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All right did better than dinos nor did way better than dinos

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Okay

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I think I was more laughing at david's pure commitment to the I think that's it

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It's the way he tells us delivered yours like I know this is bad

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But it's for the experiment yours was this can work by willing it to work

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Okay, let's try my joke with a laugh track, okay if that goes better

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What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?

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I don't know a dino snore

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It's like we're an american sitcom. Yeah, david. Let's try your joke with a laugh track. Okay, go ahead

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What's a ghost's favorite country? I don't know

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People just love the whole vibe of it

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It's like the best of ronnie corbett you get laughs on the way

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This is what i'm talking about women are not as funny as men

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Um, we did have a complaint last year from a viewer about canned laughter

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Which we do not use as you can hear

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And there wasn't any and we investigated the confusion about why this woman was so upset and it turned out

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She didn't like the sound of jimmy car's laugh

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Really? I know it was his girlfriend

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um

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In argentina, they have teams of professional laughers

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Arredores who are employed to go to television recordings and laugh

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That's quite common though. That's an old tradition. What's the actual tradition? This is called a clack

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Which is a french word

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So if you open a play or an opera or something there'll be people scattered around who would encourage

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Really know when to laugh or when to cry or you know cry

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Yeah, because it's like you don't understand the opera. You don't know when it's getting sad. So if people are around you go

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Things like that i'd be good at it

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I'll do that on ferries

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We're too close

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Apparently we're too close

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Just yeah, it's so vicarious. Otherwise ferry journeys can be boring. Really boring last time I was on a ferry

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I was 45 minutes queuing with a tray for the worst meal of my life

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And if someone had been causing a panic because we were too near a tanker. Yeah

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Or the government going such a long wait and yet so disgusting

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People who'd eaten could be going don't bother

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Look out the window

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The island wide is 10 minutes away. Just wait

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I'm now thinking back to every show i've seen though where people have cried in it and wondered

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If they were where they moved

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Yeah, you know those like edinburgh shows where they're funny but about 40 minutes in there's a really hard-hitting moment

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And people I hate I went to go and see one and everyone around me was crying

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And now I think were they a plant were they the equivalent of canned laughter?

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No, because you don't need it because people are very suggestive and let's be honest

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There isn't canned laughter used in british television and it sometimes gets accused of it and it's very very annoying

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To those of us who feel that we've elicited a genuine laugh

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But the truth is we've elicited a genuine laugh from people who've come along excited

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It was free and they want to be helpful

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Yeah, so they they know they're supposed to laugh it's a british manner people are nice

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So they said well, that was really ill-tempered exactly that was clearly meant to amuse me

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I'm not going to sit around working out whether it actually did i'm going to make the required noise

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And that's what they reliably do and god bless them

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There is an interesting thing though

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There's a guy who's the world's leading expert on laughter which is sort of interesting job a guy called robert provine

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And he found that we are 30 times more likely to laugh when we're in company, uh than we are on our own

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Oh, that's definitely true. I can watch like films or tv shows that I find genuinely hilarious

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But if i'm on my own like nothing will come out also that inverse is true

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Because you are probably 30 times more likely to cry on your own than you are in company. Yes

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That is true. I made myself laugh so hard the other day

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Did you hold? Yeah, because I did I did a fart and it sounded like it sounded like somebody was calling

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Like out my name as though they were dying like

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Holly like that. It was the funniest part i've ever done in my life. I once did a poo that made me cry

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Maisie i'm really sorry cry for ages. Maisie's new to the show. Feel free to join in

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Maisie have you ever pooed and cried at the same time?

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I feel like when I know i'll know yeah, yeah, I'll look forward to it. It's like love

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Yeah, i'll text you all when it happens you might cry out as well

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Just hear canned laughter over it as well. I think farts are funny

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But I don't find my own funny and I don't know if that's a failure as a comedian

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No, it's just a failure of timing. It's a failure of timing. Sorry. It's a failure of

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Extra point to david

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Failure of timing. Yeah, I don't find my farts funny because I don't fart

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What that's not true there's almost a continual release of gas. It's not what you would call a fart. It's a wit

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I'm gonna it's an emission a constant emission. I don't fart and I think it's a worry

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I I think that is a worry. Yes

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I don't let gas out. Are you able to dive to the bottom of swimming pool or you just constantly floating?

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No, I think what's gonna happen is that one day something will ping like that and i'll just float around backwards out

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Oh one day you're gonna fart. Oh my god. I hope it's not in isolation

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You know what if you if you're gonna go what a way to go, I know just go flying back around the room

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Um laughter you return to denmark like a salmon

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Where does she learn denmark, of course

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Anyway salmon would go to norway. That doesn't matter a sleeping dinosaur is a dino snore

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And anyone who finds that funny must be having a laugh

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Oh, I like the applause the applause is good. That was nice

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Here's a

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Riddle iculus question

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Why is a raven like a writing desk? That's a quote, isn't it? It is from what I think it sounds sort of lewis carroll or something

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It is lewis carolley. So where are we going lewis carroll narnia alice's adventures in wonderland who did narnia?

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C.s lewis. Yeah, I always get them two mixed up as well. Yeah, and lewis collins. I'll get mixed up

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Alice in wonderland narnia and the professional

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Are those your three cultural goats? Well, I think if I was to self-isolate for three months, it wouldn't be a bad start

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Uh, so it's a question that the mad hatter poses in alice's adventures in wonderland

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Why is a raven like a writing desk?

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And it wasn't originally meant to have an answer and then in a later edition carroll included this note

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I may as well put on record here

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What seems to me to be a fairly appropriate answer because it can produce a few notes

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Though they are very flat and it is never put with the wrong end

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front

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So what happened was it was supposed to be an internal joke because look at the way he spelt never

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He spelt it like that, which is

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backwards is

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Raven but the publishers

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Incorrectly corrected the spelling so the joke was completely missed and in fact nobody noticed the error until 1976

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But it's a meta riddle. It doesn't mean anything. I mean, is that really a riddle?

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It's just a stupid thing. You just find it annoying. Yeah, it's just like too smart

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There was a very popular one in the 1890s. When is a mouse if it spins?

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To which the answer was because the higher it gets the fewer

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I mean, they're just ridiculous. They don't really particularly this is the sort of humor that develops in non studio audience conditions. Yes

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One time lewis collins and martin shaw were on a stakeout in a hotel room

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And you could hear the professionals theme being played very very slowly on

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A heavy brass instrument think possibly a tuba

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So it was going

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And then martin shaw went to the window

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To look out like that

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And if there'd been a man there with a tube, yeah would have been the funniest thing that had ever happened on itv

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And I know that's not a high bar

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But as it was they didn't even cut to the outside

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So we never knew if there was someone with a tuba and judging by his reaction i'd say there wasn't that would have been great

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Joke would have been a great joke, especially if lewis collins had said I hate the tuba

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Yeah, or something and then it had a cigarette

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Tonally would it have been right for the professional? Oh, that's the question

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No, no

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earlier on he'd been in a capri and on a date with a young woman and they'd got a call to say

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this is urgent terrorism

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And he just dropped her off at a bus stop

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Yeah, he didn't even run her home when it's your next big birthday

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I think we should all club together and film

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You playing a tuba and cut it in. Yeah

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Whenever it goes out on gold or whatever

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It'll or everyone will be like what it could totally supersede the original cut of that epitaph. Yeah

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Like with blade runner, it's impossible to get the non-directors cut the version without alan dave

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Playing a tuba 40 years later. Yeah, it's no longer. Yeah, it'll make people furious

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Yeah, and in fact, they'll want to see where's the guy with the tuba. He should crop up in everywhere

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There will be an opportunity

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It's like where's wally in 70s tv shows, but it's always

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I don't think you need a tubing just make that funny noise

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Um most famous riddle of all must be the riddle of the sphinx which is in edipus rex

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Does anybody know what the riddle is?

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Is

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Walks on four legs in the morning

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Is that right what has four legs in the morning two legs at noon and three legs in the evening?

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To which richard osmond has suggested a poorly organized dance match

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But you needed to get it right because the sphinx would strangle and eat anybody who couldn't answer it correctly

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There's some pressure. Yeah, I think what if you were like, I don't care. It'd just eat you

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Yeah

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What is it then man who crawls on all fours as a baby then walks on two feet as an adult and then uses a

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walking stick in old age

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There's always like more than one answer though to every riddle, isn't there?

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Like the one that goes i'm tall when young

219
00:16:03,720 --> 00:16:05,720
And i'm short when i'm old

220
00:16:06,039 --> 00:16:09,080
What am I? Yeah, what? Well, it's a candle

221
00:16:10,039 --> 00:16:13,720
But it could also be like my auntie sue. You're right

222
00:16:13,799 --> 00:16:17,879
Like also what happens is you get the answer and you think I can't believe I paid attention for that long

223
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:22,279
Because I don't care it gets really in your head and then the payoff is so very little

224
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:26,440
You really need the extra not being eaten by the sphinx. Yeah

225
00:16:29,879 --> 00:16:33,159
You need to be pressured into thinking i'm gonna shit myself if I don't get this right

226
00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:36,120
Yes, or like so you'd be you'd be fine because you don't pass wind

227
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:41,240
No, no nothing. You'd be you'd be fine. You could just go. Well, I mean that's the reason itself, isn't it?

228
00:16:41,799 --> 00:16:43,799
Does you be your way off never not funny

229
00:16:45,639 --> 00:16:47,080
Sandy

230
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:52,840
And now for a really arousable question who was doing the best stand-up 500 years ago?

231
00:16:53,639 --> 00:16:55,639
Was it you?

232
00:17:01,049 --> 00:17:03,049
Well ken dodd must be on your claps

233
00:17:07,640 --> 00:17:12,440
I sat next to ken dodd at the most glorious dinner one time when we were together for about four hours

234
00:17:12,519 --> 00:17:16,440
He didn't stop he'd just done a show and he just carried on. Yeah

235
00:17:17,140 --> 00:17:22,200
Astonishing we saw him like two months before he died or something and he it was about three hours

236
00:17:22,599 --> 00:17:25,240
After the time it was meant to it was about one in the morning

237
00:17:25,799 --> 00:17:32,119
Oh, yeah people frequently coach loads of pensioners with a driver saying i've got to drive you back to the hotel

238
00:17:32,599 --> 00:17:35,559
But we haven't seen the diddy men. It was one of the best evenings of my life

239
00:17:35,640 --> 00:17:40,039
Was it endearing or was it quite irritating? Well, I had julian fellows on the other side

240
00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:42,119
So it was terribly endearing

241
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,519
Again

242
00:17:44,519 --> 00:17:46,519
What is this dinner?

243
00:17:47,960 --> 00:17:49,960
It's a dream. Yeah

244
00:17:50,759 --> 00:17:53,640
I was on the other side of the table with martin shaw and louis colling

245
00:17:54,759 --> 00:17:59,319
The best stand-up 500 years ago 1500 so we are talking 16th century

246
00:18:00,279 --> 00:18:02,759
Martin luther well german priests

247
00:18:03,480 --> 00:18:07,400
German priests, so we're in the right like henry the eighth's time

248
00:18:08,039 --> 00:18:11,799
Is it yeah henry the eighth because germany went a bit crazy in the early

249
00:18:12,200 --> 00:18:14,440
16th i'm not the craziest it's ever gone. No

250
00:18:16,039 --> 00:18:20,380
I mean they've got form. Yeah, but relatively because there were huge horrible

251
00:18:21,240 --> 00:18:23,740
Um wars and fighting between the various

252
00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:28,440
Protestants and catholic bits weren't there there were but this is a proper thing called rhesus pascala

253
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:32,839
So the easter laugh and the idea was to put jokes into the easter sermons

254
00:18:33,160 --> 00:18:38,599
It supposedly reflected a perception that the resurrection was a practical joke played on the devil. He's not going down well

255
00:18:38,920 --> 00:18:40,920
So look at him. He's fantastic

256
00:18:41,079 --> 00:18:43,400
We've all had an audience like that. He's going stop

257
00:18:44,440 --> 00:18:47,400
Um, so the sort of schtick that they would do from the pulpit

258
00:18:47,480 --> 00:18:50,599
There was a preacher who ate pancakes while doing cuckoo impressions

259
00:18:50,759 --> 00:18:56,440
Oh brilliant. Uh, there was one who lay in cow dung and pretended to give birth to a calf while hissing like a goose

260
00:18:56,599 --> 00:18:58,039
Oh, that's a tryhard

261
00:18:58,039 --> 00:19:02,119
I know really and one church where the priest got a layman to dress in a hood and convinced him

262
00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:04,759
He was a priest which I think that's not that's not as good

263
00:19:05,079 --> 00:19:09,079
Um, but there were loads of lewd jokes about nuns that was general bad language

264
00:19:09,559 --> 00:19:14,200
And lots of serious-minded churchmen at the time people like erasmus. They thought it was a dreadful thing

265
00:19:14,839 --> 00:19:21,079
Erasmus denounced the sermons so full of obscenities that a decent man could not tell them at a dinner party without shame

266
00:19:21,319 --> 00:19:25,319
So this practice of rhesus pascalis was banned jesus stand and obscenities

267
00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:30,680
Is there a view expressed in the gospels about obscenities? He must be a bit annoyed. His name is used

268
00:19:31,160 --> 00:19:33,160
As an obscenity. Yeah

269
00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,240
I mean that if everyone's like

270
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:39,400
Alan davis off. Yeah, alan dave. I know this is jesus

271
00:19:42,839 --> 00:19:49,240
It counts as taking the lord's name in vain yeah, jesus. Oh christ there was someone went. Oh davis. I wouldn't go

272
00:19:50,920 --> 00:19:52,920
We need to start that being

273
00:19:53,799 --> 00:19:59,079
Will you tell someone to go away but come back three days later? Yeah, was he easily offended who jesus?

274
00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:00,599
No, he was pretty

275
00:20:00,599 --> 00:20:04,680
It's pretty cool because the anglican church is so easily offended. I don't think they are

276
00:20:05,720 --> 00:20:08,599
My mom's a vicar didn't they are she's not easily offended. No

277
00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:12,759
Is your mama vicar yeah, my mom's a vicar

278
00:20:13,319 --> 00:20:17,640
The elves have just given me a quote from matthew 534, but I tell you not to swear at all

279
00:20:18,839 --> 00:20:23,880
There are lots of f words in the bible. I know f words or c words. It's your mother an anglican priest

280
00:20:24,759 --> 00:20:26,119
Yeah, cv

281
00:20:26,119 --> 00:20:30,039
Is that that's anglican? Yeah. Wow, you've really paid attention while you were growing up. That's

282
00:20:30,839 --> 00:20:35,000
I get muddled up between all the different denominations and sort of trip

283
00:20:35,559 --> 00:20:39,160
But it's good to know what which one your mother is. I just well, she's church of england

284
00:20:39,240 --> 00:20:44,599
So I suppose yes, that's anglican in answer to your question. Yes, my mother is i suppose in a way it is

285
00:20:46,440 --> 00:20:49,079
Okay, um, there are lots of excellent, uh

286
00:20:49,480 --> 00:20:53,319
Hilarious anglican priests who were in the church of england. I'm trying to help you here

287
00:20:53,559 --> 00:20:57,640
Uh, there was a guy called the reverend robert hawker. He was a cornish anglican priest

288
00:20:57,720 --> 00:21:01,559
He particularly I mean look at him you can tell by the pasty on his head, isn't he great?

289
00:21:01,880 --> 00:21:03,880
Um, he liked to moonlight as a mermaid

290
00:21:04,359 --> 00:21:10,359
So for several months he dressed in a seaweed wig and he sat every evening on a rock in butte harbour singing mermaid songs

291
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:18,200
Obviously start raving mad and needed help. No, i'd be in church every week if that was would you know?

292
00:21:18,680 --> 00:21:22,279
That's not where he's doing it in church in church. He's doing the normal stuff

293
00:21:22,440 --> 00:21:24,759
You know, he was not doing the normal stuff in church

294
00:21:24,839 --> 00:21:28,519
So he he first of all, he did this mermaid singing he was naked apart from a cloth

295
00:21:29,319 --> 00:21:33,880
A waterproof cloth wrapped around him for his tail. I'm out like dragons dead. I'm out

296
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:39,240
And then apparently there was a local farmer who was so irritated by the singing that he threatened him with a shotgun

297
00:21:39,559 --> 00:21:45,079
So he concluded his time as a mermaid by doing one rousing rendition of god save the king and then swam home

298
00:21:45,079 --> 00:21:48,859
But in the church his ten cats made up most of the congregation

299
00:21:49,480 --> 00:21:53,480
At his church services and he saw one of them catching a mouse on a sunday

300
00:21:53,480 --> 00:21:55,480
So he excommunicated the cat

301
00:21:55,960 --> 00:22:01,079
He's marvelous. Um, and then I like this one very much. Reverend edward drax free

302
00:22:01,240 --> 00:22:04,140
He was the rector at uh, sutton in bedfordshire

303
00:22:04,519 --> 00:22:09,319
Um, he impregnated a succession of housemaids. I mean, it was very busy. He was perpetually drunk

304
00:22:09,799 --> 00:22:16,759
He did yeah, he stole the lead off his own church roof. Has he got the biggest head in christendom or have they got tiny tiny?

305
00:22:16,839 --> 00:22:19,079
It's not pleasant. Is it he was fantastic?

306
00:22:19,079 --> 00:22:22,200
He kept the church locked because he didn't want anybody to try and attend a service

307
00:22:22,279 --> 00:22:28,279
Anyway in 1830 a party was set by the local bishop to remove him and they found he'd barricaded himself into the rectory

308
00:22:28,599 --> 00:22:34,359
Together with his favorite serving girl and two pistols and they tried to to to lay siege on him

309
00:22:34,599 --> 00:22:39,559
Uh, he held up for two weeks until his claret ran out. Oh my um, then he gave himself surprise

310
00:22:39,559 --> 00:22:44,680
The claret lasted two weeks. So they're looking. Yes. Yeah. Anyway sad story. He died a penniless

311
00:22:45,880 --> 00:22:47,880
No shit was all going

312
00:22:47,960 --> 00:22:49,160
To do that

313
00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,400
It's a sort of it's a sort of down in 1843

314
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:55,319
It's a sort of lovely detail from history was run over by a varnish maker's cart

315
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:59,400
Of course, he was going to go in a weird way. Yeah, he was not going to go quiet

316
00:23:00,039 --> 00:23:03,400
Uh, what's improved by extra rhubarb extra custard?

317
00:23:03,799 --> 00:23:07,000
Uh using rhubarb in a different sense. Well rhubarb as in the noise

318
00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:11,960
Make it sound like a crowd is talking you get an extra point. That is exactly right

319
00:23:12,279 --> 00:23:16,440
It's actors jargon for the chats that extras do in the background

320
00:23:16,839 --> 00:23:19,160
Does anybody know why the rhubarb things started?

321
00:23:20,839 --> 00:23:26,119
Is it a good sort of noise that sounds like talking I think so I mean more talkingy word than other words

322
00:23:26,359 --> 00:23:31,079
Sorry, so is it do they do it so that it sounds for a sound thing?

323
00:23:31,400 --> 00:23:35,079
Or is it that no it's that your mouth your mouth is moving when they were doing japanese

324
00:23:35,720 --> 00:23:39,319
Prisoner of war films after the war they were all shot in the uk

325
00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:44,599
They got anyone in who looked remotely asian because they just needed to fill the background with extras who might be in a

326
00:23:45,160 --> 00:23:52,440
Um japanese prisoner of war camp and uh, obviously these people were from many different countries and nobody spoke japanese

327
00:23:52,440 --> 00:23:55,960
So they just got them to say I tie your shoe you tie my shoe

328
00:23:56,440 --> 00:23:58,759
I knew a comedian from dublin and he

329
00:23:59,240 --> 00:24:01,799
Told he taught me how to do a northern irish accent

330
00:24:02,440 --> 00:24:08,279
And you just say body for the war body for the water water fire water water fire

331
00:24:08,599 --> 00:24:14,119
A good way to say spice girls in glass. We all it's so good. Isn't it say space ghetto?

332
00:24:14,599 --> 00:24:17,799
In an american accent in an american accent right space ghetto

333
00:24:18,359 --> 00:24:23,319
Space ghetto space ghetto good, isn't it? Oh, yeah, that is good blows your mind. Yeah blows your mind

334
00:24:24,039 --> 00:24:28,759
Extras are not highly paid individuals, but if you have a large crowd, that's obviously extremely expensive

335
00:24:28,839 --> 00:24:30,599
So lots of films use something else now

336
00:24:30,599 --> 00:24:36,839
What do you think they use instead of hiring extras for if you've got a massive crowd scene computer graphic people

337
00:24:36,839 --> 00:24:42,440
No, it's inflatable dolls. No, yeah, like what you get on a hen party. No, no, they are look

338
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,680
This is the film seabiscuit

339
00:24:45,319 --> 00:24:49,000
Another one about the horse race. I'm not a sex doll. I'm an extra

340
00:24:50,359 --> 00:24:55,720
So genuinely that's easier blowing up a load of sex dolls. Well, it's easier than computers

341
00:24:55,720 --> 00:24:58,599
You can get a crowd of 10 000 in a truck

342
00:24:59,079 --> 00:25:03,079
And they can be reused. I mean, i'm sure they've got pumps. Yeah, I don't think somebody go

343
00:25:03,400 --> 00:25:08,119
But still i'd you if you were an extra and you could send an inflatable version of yourself

344
00:25:08,359 --> 00:25:12,039
You'd be foolish not to I think i've been on panel shows where I might as well have

345
00:25:12,839 --> 00:25:14,839
Sorry, we're supposed to just go no. No

346
00:25:16,279 --> 00:25:17,640
Not this one

347
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:22,680
Lots of films that it's been used and I think the king's speech was another one. I thought they always cgi'd them nowadays

348
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,960
Very expensive. I thought it was sort of just like copy and paste

349
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:32,859
I thought they used crowds from adam davis's show in the 90s. They just used them as cutaways for gladiator

350
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:37,880
If it was my film, they just copy and paste hazel hazel over and over and over in the background

351
00:25:38,839 --> 00:25:44,920
So from the height of ridiculousness to the ridiculousness of height, how will short people save the world

352
00:25:45,480 --> 00:25:51,799
Is it by going on a baking show and becoming a national treasure? Oh extra point. Oh, there we go. We got it

353
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:53,799
Eating less

354
00:25:53,799 --> 00:25:58,279
Yes, it is sort of breathing less. It is yes. It's to do with all of those breathing less

355
00:25:58,599 --> 00:26:03,160
Yeah, it's got to be better basically overall because broadly speaking a short person

356
00:26:03,480 --> 00:26:09,480
Functions like a medium height person or a tall person and takes less fuel and uses up less space

357
00:26:09,559 --> 00:26:15,000
That is exactly right. They'll be the heroes of the moment with the stockpiling. Yeah, they're not going for the top shelves

358
00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:20,039
They can't get there. No, exactly if we all die out. It's my lot's fault. Are you very tall? Yeah

359
00:26:20,440 --> 00:26:25,000
So there's a theory called reventropy, which is that humans ought to be shorter

360
00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:27,480
There's a guy called thomas samaras in 1994

361
00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:33,079
He wrote a book called the truth about your height and he argued that people getting taller because they had excessive proteins

362
00:26:33,160 --> 00:26:36,440
In their diet and this was leading to much greater consumption of everything

363
00:26:36,440 --> 00:26:41,400
So you needed more land for farming get more waste you get more pollution and in order to preserve resources

364
00:26:41,720 --> 00:26:42,200
Really?

365
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:48,279
You need to control the size of human beings and that being shorter is good for you because it's look at that

366
00:26:48,279 --> 00:26:50,119
That's me. I was

367
00:26:50,119 --> 00:26:54,440
Being short is good for you. It slows aging. Uh shorter people have do have longer lifespans

368
00:26:55,319 --> 00:26:58,440
Yeah, so you get your head a lot less though. Probably that's true

369
00:26:58,519 --> 00:27:00,119
I've never hit my head on a doorway

370
00:27:00,119 --> 00:27:03,559
Not once but on that you've probably caught the corner of a table a few times

371
00:27:07,450 --> 00:27:09,450
And the lid on a toilet, yes

372
00:27:10,569 --> 00:27:14,410
Uh, anyway this idea of reventropy as in reversing entropy

373
00:27:14,809 --> 00:27:21,529
Um, it seems to be that his means of restoring order in the world specifically was by making people smaller

374
00:27:21,849 --> 00:27:25,130
Not working because all of my nephews and nieces are all massive

375
00:27:25,369 --> 00:27:29,130
Yeah, I think we were shorter because we only had biscuits for tea

376
00:27:29,690 --> 00:27:36,410
People got shorter when we started to farm didn't we and live in cities because we were basically healthier

377
00:27:37,130 --> 00:27:37,930
and

378
00:27:37,930 --> 00:27:43,289
Taller when we were hunter-gatherers and then when we started to you know, as it civilized as

379
00:27:44,490 --> 00:27:49,930
City dwell and farm and all that our population numbers were able to expand but our

380
00:27:50,730 --> 00:27:55,289
Basic level of nutrition went down and we became shorter people but it's gone up again

381
00:27:55,289 --> 00:28:00,250
We've got gradually taller and taller as the nutritional demand malnutrition is the key

382
00:28:01,049 --> 00:28:06,970
We malnourish a generation. They'll shorten right up macy. How old how tall are you? Uh, five foot 11

383
00:28:07,529 --> 00:28:12,170
Do you have like strict rules about people you go out with or marry or whatever who is taller or shorter than you?

384
00:28:12,250 --> 00:28:16,890
Because my tall girlfriends all will refuse to go out with somebody who's shorter than me

385
00:28:16,890 --> 00:28:24,089
I think shorter men can be really like attractive, but I would just feel cumbersome. I reckon my boyfriend is six foot

386
00:28:24,890 --> 00:28:30,329
And was that a deal breaker as it were you had to eat i'd love to say no, but it absolutely was

387
00:28:30,970 --> 00:28:36,490
I like the shallowness of it. I'm really shallow. No, i'm fine with that. I'm very tall very shallow. Yeah

388
00:28:36,970 --> 00:28:38,970
That's mark. I'm like a candle. Yeah

389
00:28:39,930 --> 00:28:42,970
There's another lonely voice campaigning against something the rest of us take for granted

390
00:28:42,970 --> 00:28:46,650
There's a man called roger babson. He was an american stock market guru

391
00:28:46,890 --> 00:28:52,250
He was the guy in the q series that invented little hammers so that typists could wear mittens and work outside

392
00:28:53,130 --> 00:28:59,049
Yeah, he was obsessed with fresh air and he got his secretaries to work outside on typewriters and they the hands were too cold

393
00:28:59,049 --> 00:29:02,809
So he invented a series of little hammers that so they could wear mittens while typing

394
00:29:03,130 --> 00:29:06,970
Do you think that's crazy? His real passion was that he campaigned against gravity

395
00:29:07,609 --> 00:29:08,890
Oh, wow

396
00:29:08,890 --> 00:29:14,009
So he had a couple of very disturbing events his sister and then later his grandson died from drowning

397
00:29:14,329 --> 00:29:19,769
And he devoted his considerable fortune to fighting against the evil old man gravity

398
00:29:19,930 --> 00:29:26,329
Which he argued killed millions of people every year and he paid three investigators to sit permanently in the u.s

399
00:29:26,329 --> 00:29:32,650
Patent office scanning incoming applications for anti-gravity inventions anything costumes shields, whatever it might be

400
00:29:32,970 --> 00:29:38,089
So that could be used to insulate people from gravity because he hoped one day to eliminate airplane accidents

401
00:29:38,410 --> 00:29:43,049
It was drownings in his yeah, and he blamed gravity gravity not water

402
00:29:43,450 --> 00:29:48,329
No, no, he didn't have an anti-water thing. Yeah, in fact, he set up the gravity that pulls you under isn't it?

403
00:29:48,329 --> 00:29:51,690
Yeah, i'm not sure that the water's trying to help them. There's no gravity

404
00:29:51,690 --> 00:29:55,130
It'd float and also the water would be if there was gravity the water would be in the air

405
00:29:55,450 --> 00:30:00,890
So he started something called the gravity research foundation and the idea was to give out grants to universities

406
00:30:01,210 --> 00:30:06,650
But it had to be used specifically for anti-gravity research and lots of people didn't know how to do this

407
00:30:06,809 --> 00:30:12,490
So the money didn't get used tufts university used it to set up their institute of cosmology

408
00:30:12,970 --> 00:30:20,569
And what they do is they acknowledge this grant from the gravity research foundation every year in a ceremony in which the doctorate graduates have an apple

409
00:30:20,970 --> 00:30:24,569
Dropped on their head in front of a monument to babson

410
00:30:25,130 --> 00:30:28,329
I mean he wasn't he wasn't completely crazy. He was in a way he was also a good guy

411
00:30:28,410 --> 00:30:31,210
He set up the very first women's business school in the united states

412
00:30:31,690 --> 00:30:33,769
But I like these campaigns that you just think wow

413
00:30:33,769 --> 00:30:37,950
Is that a thing there was a campaign in the united states called sinner s-i-n-a?

414
00:30:38,490 --> 00:30:42,009
And it was the society for indecency to naked animals

415
00:30:42,490 --> 00:30:47,130
It was founded in 1959 with the slogan a nude horse is a rude horse

416
00:30:47,529 --> 00:30:53,930
And it campaigned for clothing of any animals any animal that stands higher than four inches always longer than six inches

417
00:30:54,009 --> 00:30:59,930
There were campaigns right across the united states. So they're tiny little needy animals. Yeah, you can have a nude hamster

418
00:31:00,170 --> 00:31:03,930
Yeah, but no that dachshund. Yeah should be dressed just

419
00:31:04,569 --> 00:31:12,009
It went on for four years this campaign and then time magazine found out it was a hoax perpetrated by a comedian called

420
00:31:12,170 --> 00:31:19,369
Alan abel, but I quite like think I'd have joined in I think it's true that the penises of horses and dogs

421
00:31:19,529 --> 00:31:24,170
Yeah are very prominent in society. You see them more than you see the penises of humans

422
00:31:24,329 --> 00:31:28,569
That is true in general life you walk around you don't see many penises

423
00:31:28,650 --> 00:31:32,089
No, and i'm fine with that if you see one it's likely to be a dog's penis

424
00:31:32,250 --> 00:31:37,289
Yeah, that could be a horse's penis. There'll be so many more horses in the edwardian era

425
00:31:37,609 --> 00:31:40,809
That penises would go past like scooters

426
00:31:41,450 --> 00:31:48,170
On oxford street imagine it 1910 penis penis penis penis and this is the victorian age not long-ended

427
00:31:48,329 --> 00:31:50,329
Which was very very anti-penis

428
00:31:50,569 --> 00:31:56,250
As we know and yet all these horses penises all the time everywhere

429
00:31:56,329 --> 00:32:02,009
Well, it's logical. Let's get some pants on those horses just pants not not not clothes

430
00:32:02,329 --> 00:32:04,410
No, I think just start with a pant

431
00:32:07,210 --> 00:32:09,849
If you ignore a penis it will go away

432
00:32:11,210 --> 00:32:13,210
That's certainly been my experience now

433
00:32:14,410 --> 00:32:16,410
Short people are just better fact

434
00:32:18,569 --> 00:32:23,289
Why can't a robot work out how to tick a box marked i'm not a robot

435
00:32:23,849 --> 00:32:29,529
That is a that's a very good question. Also, why can't it tell what a traffic light looks like?

436
00:32:29,690 --> 00:32:31,690
I don't know. I'm not a robot

437
00:32:32,009 --> 00:32:38,569
I don't think i'm a robot, but I find friendly text messages stressful. Yeah, i've got a lot of the signs of a robot

438
00:32:38,650 --> 00:32:42,089
So it doesn't make any sense the elves quoted letters page of viz

439
00:32:42,569 --> 00:32:46,730
Surely robots can figure out how to tick a box on a website saying i'm not a robot

440
00:32:46,970 --> 00:32:50,890
i've seen terminated two and that one could fly a fucking helicopter, so

441
00:32:52,569 --> 00:32:54,569
Ticking the box is not the point

442
00:32:54,730 --> 00:32:58,890
It's how you behaved before you ticked the box that is analyzed

443
00:32:59,289 --> 00:32:59,930
So to be honest

444
00:32:59,930 --> 00:33:03,690
I can't tell you all the details because they keep it secret because they don't want people trying to cheat the test

445
00:33:03,849 --> 00:33:09,210
But broadly speaking you tick the box and it prompts the website to check your browsing history

446
00:33:09,529 --> 00:33:13,690
So let us say for example just before you tick the box you watched a couple of cat videos

447
00:33:13,769 --> 00:33:19,289
You I don't know liked a tweet about gretta thornburg. You checked your gmail account before you got down to work

448
00:33:20,009 --> 00:33:25,049
All of that makes them think that you must be a human and checking the box

449
00:33:25,450 --> 00:33:31,849
Can even spur it to analyze the way in which you moved your mouse across the screen. It's slightly spooky. I think

450
00:33:32,329 --> 00:33:34,089
Um essentially when you are clicking

451
00:33:34,089 --> 00:33:39,289
I am not a robot who are instructing the site to have a look at your data and decide for the poor itself

452
00:33:39,690 --> 00:33:43,450
If the machine is not sure that's when it directs you to click on either pieces of fire hydrants

453
00:33:43,450 --> 00:33:45,450
Aren't there and sort of secondary?

454
00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:50,250
If that comes up, it means that your browsing history is slightly worrying. It looks like you're a robot

455
00:33:50,970 --> 00:33:56,730
You're in a russian warehouse. Yeah, you regularly clear your browsing history or you browse in incognito mode

456
00:33:56,730 --> 00:34:00,809
Then why would you do that? That is not the sign of a robot. That's the sign of a wanker

457
00:34:02,490 --> 00:34:03,690
Yeah

458
00:34:03,690 --> 00:34:07,529
But it's a bit weird, isn't it? It's an automated humanity check. It's called captcha

459
00:34:08,090 --> 00:34:13,610
Captcha and it stands for completely automated public turing tests to tell computers and humans apart

460
00:34:14,170 --> 00:34:18,329
But you can do some good with it. You know those distorted letters that you sometimes have to say

461
00:34:18,409 --> 00:34:22,489
What is that word? It's quite a good way to digitize old books

462
00:34:22,650 --> 00:34:22,969
Okay

463
00:34:22,969 --> 00:34:27,769
So if you've got an old or torn piece of paper from an old book and you're not entirely sure

464
00:34:28,329 --> 00:34:29,929
What the word is?

465
00:34:29,929 --> 00:34:32,969
Sometimes we'll capture they'll give you two words to solve you get one after the other

466
00:34:33,210 --> 00:34:37,130
One test is to establish whether you're human and the other word they're just looking for your opinion

467
00:34:37,769 --> 00:34:44,170
So if a thousand people say that the word is catagoum, then the chances are it is catagoum

468
00:34:44,409 --> 00:34:50,010
So it's a way of analyzing text. They can't fold towels very easily though, can they?

469
00:34:50,090 --> 00:34:56,809
No, that is the major flaw in robots. Yeah now for a ridiculous loser. What can we say about mr? Irrelevant?

470
00:34:57,590 --> 00:34:59,369
1991

471
00:34:59,449 --> 00:35:01,449
It's a sought-after title in some ways

472
00:35:02,010 --> 00:35:08,170
Mr. Irrelevant, is there some sort of like a paradox? It's like being the you know, the most boring person

473
00:35:08,409 --> 00:35:10,889
Well, there's that's something interesting if you're the most boring person

474
00:35:10,889 --> 00:35:13,929
So the second most boring person is more boring than the most boring person

475
00:35:14,010 --> 00:35:18,969
Which makes them the most boring person which would be something interesting about them. I love that. I think that's fantastic

476
00:35:19,449 --> 00:35:23,289
Uh, all I can say with confidence, uh, is that he was wanky

477
00:35:24,170 --> 00:35:28,809
Which is his name. Mr. Wanky. Mr. Wanky. Yeah, Mr. Wanky. Well, that's so relevant

478
00:35:29,050 --> 00:35:34,889
Yeah, so every year in us football professional teams choose new players from that year's college leavers

479
00:35:34,969 --> 00:35:39,929
So it's called the draft and the last placed team from the previous year gets the first choice

480
00:35:40,010 --> 00:35:44,730
The idea is to even out the team's prospects and so it's not like you can just buy the top players

481
00:35:44,889 --> 00:35:48,730
They try and keep it kind of the opposite of the premier league

482
00:35:48,809 --> 00:35:54,730
Yeah, so the player chosen last from the pool. So the least sought-after player in that year is called. Mr. Irrelevant

483
00:35:55,289 --> 00:35:58,650
Uh, and it's a rather dubious honor it fell to larry wanky

484
00:35:59,610 --> 00:36:07,050
In 1991, I was really hoping he had a better first name. Larry is not good. Is it? What would a better first name be?

485
00:36:08,010 --> 00:36:10,010
Barry willy is better

486
00:36:12,090 --> 00:36:16,809
But they get they get a prize they get flown out for a relevant week with their family to california and uh,

487
00:36:16,889 --> 00:36:23,130
They have you know introducing the wankies because of a warm round of applause for the wankies as they join us

488
00:36:23,929 --> 00:36:28,409
But it's a thing in sport the last place competitor in the tour de france, for example

489
00:36:28,809 --> 00:36:34,889
Since 1920 been awarded the lantern rouge, but there's so much publicity with being that person

490
00:36:34,969 --> 00:36:37,610
Yeah, um people want to be it when they know they're not going to win

491
00:36:37,849 --> 00:36:43,369
Yeah, they know they're right at the back. They sometimes hide in barns and things when i've watched the london marathon

492
00:36:43,369 --> 00:36:48,570
There's so much attention on who wins it, but I am interested often as to who is the last person

493
00:36:48,570 --> 00:36:52,730
Yeah, like like five days later, yeah and a man in an iron lung

494
00:36:52,889 --> 00:36:55,050
It's fine rolls over the finish line

495
00:36:55,210 --> 00:36:59,050
But there's loads of wonderful things that you get a salted anchovy if you're the loser of this

496
00:36:59,130 --> 00:37:03,690
Sienna paleo horse race and it used to be that you got a wooden spoon at cambridge

497
00:37:03,769 --> 00:37:06,250
If you got the worst honours degree in the maths tripos

498
00:37:06,809 --> 00:37:12,489
No, this is the last one ever awarded to the magnificently named cuthbert lemprea halt house

499
00:37:13,050 --> 00:37:15,050
He then went on to become prime minister

500
00:37:15,769 --> 00:37:20,409
He became an anglican vicar, which is like being in the church of england and so what he

501
00:37:22,969 --> 00:37:25,369
And so what he he got the worst score on his degree

502
00:37:25,369 --> 00:37:26,409
He got the worst degree

503
00:37:26,409 --> 00:37:29,369
They in fact they made the spoon out of a rowing ore because he blamed him on the fact

504
00:37:29,449 --> 00:37:34,170
He spent so much time rowing. He's amazing that they actually gave um degrees to borrow us

505
00:37:36,170 --> 00:37:39,929
Well, also nobody is going to ask a question about who came first in the maths tripos, right?

506
00:37:40,170 --> 00:37:42,889
Yeah, it's just so lovely. I think it's much more interesting to talk about cuthbert

507
00:37:43,050 --> 00:37:48,489
Yeah, and now for the bit where our panel accidentally fall into a lens grinder and make spectacles of themselves

508
00:37:48,809 --> 00:37:51,289
Uh general ignorance fingers on buzzers, please

509
00:37:52,010 --> 00:37:54,730
Uh, watch this have a look at the screen

510
00:37:55,289 --> 00:38:00,570
Uh, that text has got the entire answer the question. Can anybody pick out any of it?

511
00:38:02,650 --> 00:38:04,650
Okay, it's going at

512
00:38:05,190 --> 00:38:07,610
1500 words per minute. What do you call?

513
00:38:08,250 --> 00:38:11,530
Someone who is able to read at that speed fast

514
00:38:12,010 --> 00:38:15,769
My mother fast is good. Yes is your mother-in-law very fast. She goes on holiday

515
00:38:16,489 --> 00:38:21,289
She literally can read a book a day. Can she understand it? Yeah, she's incredible

516
00:38:21,610 --> 00:38:23,449
It's insane. How good she is at it

517
00:38:23,449 --> 00:38:29,210
I mean you can in principle train yourself to read um pretty quickly but speed reading that they used to talk about

518
00:38:29,530 --> 00:38:34,010
It was a thing that people thought you could be taught. Uh, in fact there was an american proponent eveline wood

519
00:38:34,090 --> 00:38:39,050
She was an educator from utah and she made a fortune. Uh, these reading dynamic workshops

520
00:38:39,530 --> 00:38:41,530
She said you could increase the speed of reading three times

521
00:38:41,530 --> 00:38:47,050
Maybe as much as 10 times and she had hundreds of outlets across the united states the 1950s and 60s

522
00:38:47,530 --> 00:38:51,690
And it was partly because jfk had a reputation for being able to read 1200 words per minute

523
00:38:52,329 --> 00:38:55,849
Nixon and part of both presidents both endorsed it 1200 words a minute

524
00:38:56,090 --> 00:39:00,650
Well, there are various techniques four pages of a novel. It's I mean, it's it's slightly mad

525
00:39:00,809 --> 00:39:04,170
Um, one of the techniques is reading down the middle of the page rather than yeah

526
00:39:04,250 --> 00:39:07,050
I mean it makes you wonder as a writer why you bothered with the words at the side

527
00:39:07,449 --> 00:39:11,929
The other thing is to eliminate sub-vocalizations in your head reading aloud will slow you down

528
00:39:12,170 --> 00:39:15,530
I think i'm quite a slow reader because I I worry i've missed a bit

529
00:39:15,769 --> 00:39:18,969
Yeah, i'm forever going back and doing a paragraph again

530
00:39:19,050 --> 00:39:24,489
And you're worrying about the comprehension and that is the thing about speed reading is that probably people are reading quite quickly

531
00:39:24,570 --> 00:39:30,090
But they're not really fully taking in all the detail but the technique now of speed reading has been pretty much debunked

532
00:39:30,489 --> 00:39:35,130
It is not a thing. What did it say that fast moving everything? I just told you

533
00:39:35,769 --> 00:39:39,690
Oh, so your whole all of that was just yeah, everything i've just told you

534
00:39:39,929 --> 00:39:44,809
But basically people get to the gist but not the nuance if they're speed reading so they sort of go

535
00:39:44,889 --> 00:39:50,409
Well, there's something about tigers in that paragraph. Yeah, this one's all about cheese. Exactly. I've got it tigers and cheese

536
00:39:50,409 --> 00:39:54,809
I've got that book. Yeah, uh, i'm afraid speed readers are missing the point

537
00:39:55,130 --> 00:39:58,809
Who made the most expensive and best sounding violins ever?

538
00:40:01,750 --> 00:40:03,750
Stradivarius

539
00:40:07,690 --> 00:40:10,269
One for the team. Yeah, what a guy marx dispensers

540
00:40:11,050 --> 00:40:14,989
Yamaha sports direct. It was a guy called Bartolomeo Guarneri

541
00:40:15,369 --> 00:40:20,170
He was the grandson of one of Stradivarius apprentices. So Stradivarius did make beautiful violins

542
00:40:20,489 --> 00:40:25,929
Um, but this guy has the edge in 2010. Uh, one of his went for more than 18 million dollars

543
00:40:26,570 --> 00:40:32,489
This 18 million dollar violin is on land a brilliant woman called an akiko mayers

544
00:40:32,570 --> 00:40:35,050
I think we have a little tiny bit of her playing

545
00:40:53,659 --> 00:40:55,659
That sounds like a normal violin to me

546
00:40:55,980 --> 00:40:59,820
Uh, well, so that is the thing about it because they did a test

547
00:41:00,380 --> 00:41:04,539
To see whether people wanted to buy one of those very expensive ones or whether they wanted a modern one

548
00:41:04,619 --> 00:41:10,860
They got 21 professional violinists to play in a dimly knit room wearing goggles and only 38 percent

549
00:41:10,860 --> 00:41:15,019
So eight out of the 21 chose to take the old ones and the rest chose the modern instruments

550
00:41:15,420 --> 00:41:17,420
So not necessarily

551
00:41:17,579 --> 00:41:19,579
Actually, does it sound any better?

552
00:41:19,659 --> 00:41:24,780
That's like those taste tests when people think they're drinking some incredibly expensive wine, but it's just from aldi

553
00:41:25,099 --> 00:41:30,539
Yeah in 2016 a violin made from winston churchill's cigar box was sold for six and a half. No

554
00:41:31,260 --> 00:41:37,019
Didn't have any strings, but yeah probably smelled nice and finally a ludicrously easy one

555
00:41:37,019 --> 00:41:41,500
What the dickens was the first name of the famous english writer who gave us the expression?

556
00:41:42,059 --> 00:41:43,739
What the dickens?

557
00:41:43,739 --> 00:41:44,539
Yes

558
00:41:44,539 --> 00:41:48,539
William yes, you're absolutely correct. William

559
00:41:48,940 --> 00:41:53,340
Shakespeare William Shakespeare indeed. Uh, do you know what play?

560
00:41:54,539 --> 00:42:00,380
Is it merry wives of Windsor? It is indeed merry wives of Windsor. How did you know that he is William Shakespeare?

561
00:42:00,539 --> 00:42:02,539
Do you like this picture?

562
00:42:03,260 --> 00:42:06,219
That's yeah, that's me from the recently closed show

563
00:42:07,340 --> 00:42:12,219
Uh, yes, uh, so merry wives of Windsor. Mrs. Page is referring to Falstaff

564
00:42:12,300 --> 00:42:15,019
She's on the cusp of stuffing him in a laundry basket

565
00:42:15,340 --> 00:42:21,099
Uh, where had you this pretty weathercock says ford mrs page says I cannot tell what the dickens his name is

566
00:42:21,420 --> 00:42:26,460
Do you know why dickens? No, I don't it's a diminutive of dick. It's a euphemism for the devil

567
00:42:26,940 --> 00:42:31,019
So what the dickens just means what what the devil it hurts like the dickens we used to say

568
00:42:31,179 --> 00:42:32,460
It was an old expression

569
00:42:32,460 --> 00:42:37,019
So it hurts like the devil there was a sort of tradition in medieval plays that if you spoke the devil's name

570
00:42:37,099 --> 00:42:39,099
Then he would appear that's where we get the

571
00:42:39,340 --> 00:42:44,619
Uh expression speak of the devil. Oh really? Yeah, there's just so many fantastic

572
00:42:45,019 --> 00:42:52,219
Words that shakespeare invented. Um, merry wives actually get the first appearances of hot-blooded the world's my oyster that phrase

573
00:42:52,619 --> 00:42:58,460
That's shakespeareian. It's shakespeareian. Yeah, absolutely. So it it was not charles dickens people might think what the dickens

574
00:42:58,539 --> 00:43:03,099
Uh, it was mr. Shakespeare. He was the first to come up with scott lead

575
00:43:04,219 --> 00:43:05,579
Yes

576
00:43:05,579 --> 00:43:07,579
That is correct enough

577
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:13,260
Dickensing about it's time to reveal this week's scores in last place

578
00:43:14,059 --> 00:43:18,480
Oh, it's a it's a noble thing with minus seven. Uh, it's mazy

579
00:43:21,500 --> 00:43:23,500
In third place with minus six, it's alan

580
00:43:25,420 --> 00:43:27,420
In second place with minus three david

581
00:43:30,460 --> 00:43:35,260
I know with one whole point ridiculous number of points. It's holly

582
00:43:36,460 --> 00:43:47,980
It makes me to laugh in the faces of mazy david holly and alan and thank them all for their good humor

583
00:43:47,980 --> 00:43:49,980
And I leave you with these words from dostoyevsky

584
00:43:50,780 --> 00:43:57,500
There is no idea and no fact that could not be vulgarized or shown in a ridiculous light and that

585
00:43:57,980 --> 00:44:00,699
Pretty much explains qi's existence. Good night

586
00:44:04,460 --> 00:44:14,380
The show you've just seen was recorded without an audience because of social distancing rules next week

587
00:44:14,380 --> 00:44:18,639
We're back to normal. So see you then and in the meantime mind how you go