1 00:00:26,320 --> 00:00:28,440 APPLAUSE 2 00:00:29,520 --> 00:00:31,680 Well! 3 00:00:31,680 --> 00:00:34,760 Good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, 4 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:37,800 good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening. 5 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:41,840 And welcome to QI, where tonight the crowd is baying, the adrenalin's pumping 6 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:44,040 and we're ready for fight or flight. 7 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:48,200 In the red corner, we have Sean "Fists Of Fury" Lock 8 00:00:48,200 --> 00:00:50,760 and "Gentleman" Johnny Vegas! 9 00:00:50,760 --> 00:00:52,720 APPLAUSE 10 00:00:55,000 --> 00:01:00,800 And...in the blue corner, Pam "Float Like A Bee" Ayres 11 00:01:00,800 --> 00:01:04,560 and Alan "Sting Like A Butterfly" Davies! 12 00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:07,320 APPLAUSE 13 00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:09,200 Fabulous. 14 00:01:09,200 --> 00:01:13,720 So on your flights of fancy tonight, you may want to buzz somebody, 15 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:16,040 so fire away. Pam goes... 16 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:17,760 MACHINE-GUN AND PLANE ENGINE 17 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,680 Oh, wow. It's like a machine-gun. 18 00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:24,280 - Do you know, I think it actually IS a machine-gun. - I think it is a machine-gun. 19 00:01:24,280 --> 00:01:25,480 Johnny goes... 20 00:01:25,480 --> 00:01:30,520 PLANE DIVES AND SHOTS FIRE 21 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:35,400 - Oh, with full body swerve. - I think I should lean. He's all over me! 22 00:01:37,800 --> 00:01:39,880 And Sean goes... 23 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:42,320 HEAVY FIRE 24 00:01:42,320 --> 00:01:45,000 Pumping. And Alan goes... 25 00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:50,480 FAST DIVE THEN CRASH 26 00:01:50,480 --> 00:01:51,920 Oh, dear. 27 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,840 APPLAUSE 28 00:01:54,840 --> 00:01:59,640 And so we plummet straight into our first topic, which is freefall parachuting. 29 00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:02,720 We've got some film for you. Pay close attention. 30 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,600 So what happens next? 31 00:02:05,600 --> 00:02:07,800 That's the question. 32 00:02:07,800 --> 00:02:11,080 He's about to pull the ripcord and what will happen? 33 00:02:11,080 --> 00:02:14,160 That area around my groin, it went a sort of a yellow colour. 34 00:02:15,800 --> 00:02:19,280 Alan, I can understand doing one exciting thing at a time, 35 00:02:19,280 --> 00:02:22,240 but why do freefalling AND sodomy at the same time? 36 00:02:24,920 --> 00:02:27,240 Why not just do one and THEN the other? 37 00:02:27,240 --> 00:02:28,960 It was such a reasonable price. 38 00:02:28,960 --> 00:02:32,040 Was it literally all-in? 39 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:36,040 But in fact, what is the thing that happens after the ripcord is pulled? 40 00:02:36,040 --> 00:02:41,240 - I did a parachute jump. - I know. You did a static one, didn't you? - I did a static-line one. 41 00:02:41,240 --> 00:02:44,920 I just want to put this in, so you know I'm a woman of some substance. 42 00:02:44,920 --> 00:02:48,480 I did one on my own, where the bloke hits you on the shoulder 43 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:53,720 and says, "Go!" And as you go, the string becomes taut and pulls off 44 00:02:53,720 --> 00:02:55,560 the bag and the parachute opens. 45 00:02:55,560 --> 00:03:00,160 - That's very much... - This is what you hope happens. - And did it? - Yes. 46 00:03:00,160 --> 00:03:06,040 - I believe... - It was a great relief. - I believe that you, as it happens, obviously, like Alan, felt some... 47 00:03:06,040 --> 00:03:09,880 - erotic feelings towards your instructor. Is that correct? - I did. 48 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:11,560 I took a shine to the instructor. 49 00:03:11,560 --> 00:03:15,360 I think that's why I jumped out the aircraft, really, cos I wanted to impress him. 50 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:19,160 I often do that. If I like a woman, I jump out of the window. 51 00:03:20,720 --> 00:03:25,000 - Just to show them that I really care. - "Are you impressed?" 52 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,480 I dig chicks in flats! 53 00:03:28,960 --> 00:03:33,400 No, what of course we wanted you to say, which you're not stupid enough 54 00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:37,600 to say, but I have to confess, this is really because I as a child was convinced... 55 00:03:37,600 --> 00:03:43,240 - Every time I'd seen... - You shoot upwards? - Yeah. That when you open the parachute, the guy goes upwards. 56 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:47,400 And of course, I subsequently learned that it's because 57 00:03:47,400 --> 00:03:51,080 the cameraman who's showing it is still in freefall, so relative 58 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:53,120 to him, it looks as if you're going up. 59 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:55,360 - Look, we can see. - There he goes! 60 00:03:55,360 --> 00:03:59,360 - It looks so much as if you're just shooting upwards. - Yeah. It's the most lovely feeling 61 00:03:59,360 --> 00:04:04,160 when the canopy opens, because you can see everything and you've got your toggles 62 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:08,720 - and you can gently steer... - Also, you know you're not going to die. - Yeah. 63 00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:10,680 That was THE moment for me. 64 00:04:10,680 --> 00:04:13,440 The euphoria when it opens. 65 00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:14,960 How high up were you? 66 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,480 I was 12,000ft. 67 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:20,360 - 12,000? - Mm. - That's pretty high. I mean, that's, what...? 68 00:04:20,360 --> 00:04:23,160 - 45 seconds of freefall. - Two and a half miles. 69 00:04:23,160 --> 00:04:26,600 Want to know what the world record is? Can you guess what the world record is? 70 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,680 - Well, someone went nearly to space, didn't they, and jumped out? - Almost, yes. 71 00:04:30,680 --> 00:04:34,160 Which is in fact was 32,000 metres, which is something... 72 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,320 18 miles up...? Something like that. 73 00:04:37,320 --> 00:04:41,800 - Don't you freeze or your eardrums go or something? - Well, I can imagine if you had flappy cuffs, 74 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:46,160 it would be very noisy on the way down. He actually went...he went as far... 75 00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:52,680 - Who was it, Adam Ant, did this jump? - He went as a fop. 76 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:56,360 - He achieved... - I'm a dandy highwayman! 77 00:04:56,360 --> 00:04:59,680 Well, he achieved a speed of 614mph... 78 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:02,240 - Gosh! - which is pretty scary, but he said it was gorgeous. 79 00:05:02,240 --> 00:05:06,240 He said it was as if he'd remained stationary and the balloon had shot 80 00:05:06,240 --> 00:05:11,960 upwards, so it was rather to that effect. Now, why did "Shorty" Longbottom have a pink Spitfire? 81 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:13,560 MACHINE-GUN AND PLANE ENGINE 82 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:17,360 - Who...? Ooh, Pam. - It was puffed. 83 00:05:17,360 --> 00:05:18,760 LAUGHTER 84 00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:20,640 - It was...? Say again. - Puffed! 85 00:05:20,640 --> 00:05:23,080 - Puffed? - It was PUFFED-OUT, yes. 86 00:05:23,080 --> 00:05:27,520 - Oh, I see. - It was exhausted from its exertions. - Oh, I see! 87 00:05:27,520 --> 00:05:28,800 LAUGHTER 88 00:05:28,800 --> 00:05:30,080 Thank God for that! 89 00:05:30,080 --> 00:05:33,360 I was worried for a moment that we'd strayed into territory 90 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:36,320 - that just wasn't quite right, somehow. - No. 91 00:05:36,320 --> 00:05:39,640 Actually, it was a pretty new one and it was a very light one. 92 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:45,360 - It was a very special one. - Did he take hen-dos out on a weekend? 93 00:05:45,360 --> 00:05:48,320 You know, when the war slowed down? 94 00:05:48,320 --> 00:05:51,360 - It got dull. - Some lass with an L-plate on, 95 00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:53,960 did he get her in the back and take her around town? 96 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:57,760 What were the female members of the RAF? What were they called? 97 00:05:57,760 --> 00:06:01,760 - Wrens. - WAAFs. - WAAFs. And how would you know that? 98 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:05,080 - Because I was one. - Oh! We seem to be in your territory again. 99 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,440 Yeah, I joined the Women's Royal Air Force 100 00:06:07,440 --> 00:06:10,600 and I went to Singapore and Germany and I had a very nice time. 101 00:06:10,600 --> 00:06:12,680 - Excellent. - LAUGHTER 102 00:06:12,680 --> 00:06:16,120 - It's very good to know. - You should do recruiting. - You should! 103 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:17,600 "I had a lovely time." 104 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:21,480 I've always been looking for the recruiting sergeant with a bread knife, as a matter of fact, 105 00:06:21,480 --> 00:06:24,400 because he said to me, "What do you like doing?", 106 00:06:24,400 --> 00:06:27,320 and I said, "Drawing," and he put me in a drawing office, 107 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:30,080 which was all maths and technical drawing and that, 108 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:31,240 and I couldn't do it. 109 00:06:31,240 --> 00:06:33,560 - What a bad man! - Yes, he was a bad man. 110 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:35,240 Evil. Evil. 111 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,840 They did that to me at school, they said, "What do you want to do?" 112 00:06:37,840 --> 00:06:40,440 I said, "Maths." They put me in a maths class! 113 00:06:40,440 --> 00:06:43,720 - No! - Can you believe that? - That's not good enough. 114 00:06:43,720 --> 00:06:46,360 When I was obviously built for dancing. 115 00:06:46,360 --> 00:06:47,840 LAUGHTER 116 00:06:47,840 --> 00:06:49,360 It was outrageous. 117 00:06:51,960 --> 00:06:54,600 Was your drawing anything to do with aerial photographs? 118 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:57,840 - That sort of thing, yes. - Well, then, this answer... 119 00:06:57,840 --> 00:07:00,600 - I can give you a little bit of inside info, here. - Go on. 120 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:03,280 If you are studying aerial photography 121 00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:07,120 and you see a photograph which contains a cricket pitch, 122 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,480 and you happen to know the focal length of the camera, 123 00:07:10,480 --> 00:07:12,360 you can calculate the scale. 124 00:07:12,360 --> 00:07:15,520 I thought you were going to say, "Calculate the score" then. 125 00:07:15,520 --> 00:07:19,760 - Because you know a cricket pitch is 22 yards, therefore... - Yes. 126 00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:23,120 But presumably, when the Spitfire's flying over Germany, 127 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:26,680 the Germans are the kind of utter swine who won't play cricket. 128 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:32,400 - LAUGHTER - So it was tricky if you didn't have- a cricket pitch on the photograph. 129 00:07:32,400 --> 00:07:34,440 But suppose in the early days of the war, 130 00:07:34,440 --> 00:07:37,600 you wanted to send an aeroplane over to take photographs... 131 00:07:37,600 --> 00:07:39,640 Is it some sort of disguise? Camouflage? 132 00:07:39,640 --> 00:07:41,320 Camouflage is the right answer. 133 00:07:41,320 --> 00:07:42,960 - Pink skies, or pink... - Yeah. 134 00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:46,880 Actually, first they made it blue, and that stood out. And there it is. 135 00:07:46,880 --> 00:07:50,600 "Shorty" Longbottom's pink Spitfire. 136 00:07:50,600 --> 00:07:53,080 If it did get spotted when it was taking pictures, 137 00:07:53,080 --> 00:07:56,360 wouldn't the other planes just naturally flirt with it? 138 00:07:56,360 --> 00:07:58,320 You'd think this would be the big... 139 00:07:58,320 --> 00:08:01,040 The pilots would abandon their dog-fighting skills 140 00:08:01,040 --> 00:08:03,080 and just go, "Hello!" 141 00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:07,200 It came back from the Dambusters thing pregnant. 142 00:08:08,040 --> 00:08:10,000 Well, it certainly shows... 143 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,440 You've got to love your country 144 00:08:11,440 --> 00:08:13,240 to be prepared to go up in one of those, 145 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:16,400 but when it's a cloudy day, the sky has a sort of pink tinge to it. 146 00:08:16,400 --> 00:08:18,160 A pink, pearly tone, doesn't it? 147 00:08:18,160 --> 00:08:21,440 - Yes. - Or alternatively, if you want to camouflage your aircraft, 148 00:08:21,440 --> 00:08:23,080 you could paint it as a ship. 149 00:08:23,080 --> 00:08:24,680 LAUGHTER 150 00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:26,040 Yes. 151 00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:29,640 And it was at that point that Ayres was asked to leave the round. 152 00:08:29,640 --> 00:08:31,920 Yes. 153 00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:33,600 Exactly. 154 00:08:33,600 --> 00:08:35,880 The whole of Germany turned into that bloke 155 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,560 from the Laurel And Hardy films. 156 00:08:38,920 --> 00:08:40,640 Throwing booze away. 157 00:08:40,640 --> 00:08:42,400 Exactly. 158 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:46,240 Stephen, I must point out, I can't hear anything you say! 159 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:47,640 I'm just... 160 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:51,320 You're welcome to stay like that, or take it off. 161 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:54,800 If the show's going well, let me keep talking. 162 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,320 Well, there we are. 163 00:08:56,320 --> 00:09:00,000 Reconnaissance Spitfires were painted pink to match the clouds. 164 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:02,240 Now, who gives a flying fff-fish? 165 00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:06,200 - There they are. - Gosh! - Aren't they amazing? - Lovely, aren't they? 166 00:09:06,200 --> 00:09:10,320 - Beautiful animals. - I was told that flying fish only ever fly alone. 167 00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:12,760 That sounds like a code, Alan. 168 00:09:12,760 --> 00:09:15,600 "Flying fish only fly alone." 169 00:09:19,280 --> 00:09:22,360 I've seen them. They fly in shoals. 170 00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:25,480 I was on scuba-diving trip and I met a German and he was adamant. 171 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:27,720 "Zey only fly alone!" 172 00:09:27,720 --> 00:09:30,040 They would fly on their own, wouldn't they? 173 00:09:30,040 --> 00:09:33,840 What you mean is they don't fly in a formation like the Red Devils. 174 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:37,080 They don't leap out and pass one another, like that. 175 00:09:37,080 --> 00:09:38,360 No, they don't do that. 176 00:09:38,360 --> 00:09:40,480 Do you know what the French for a flying fish is? 177 00:09:40,480 --> 00:09:42,920 Poisson...d'aeroplane? 178 00:09:42,920 --> 00:09:44,000 LAUGHTER 179 00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:46,040 Actually, it's slightly more creepy 180 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:48,360 for those of us of a certain generation. 181 00:09:48,360 --> 00:09:49,640 It's Exocet. 182 00:09:49,640 --> 00:09:52,240 - Oh, gosh. - And what do you know of the Exocet? 183 00:09:52,240 --> 00:09:53,280 It's a missile. 184 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:57,560 It was a missile, yes. It was used against us in the Falklands War. 185 00:09:57,560 --> 00:09:59,320 So do they fly or glide? 186 00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:00,360 Neither. 187 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,720 I've seen them and they fly for... 188 00:10:02,720 --> 00:10:05,280 Sorry, Johnny, I'm so excited I must say this. 189 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:07,120 They fly for ages. 190 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:10,760 When I saw them, my first flying fish, 191 00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:14,440 I couldn't believe they were really fish, because they flew for so long, 192 00:10:14,440 --> 00:10:17,920 and they weave and they sort of duck and dive, like that. 193 00:10:17,920 --> 00:10:21,480 I thought, "They cannot be fish", because they flew for so long. 194 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:23,480 They flew for minutes and minutes and minutes, 195 00:10:23,480 --> 00:10:25,240 and then suddenly they all go plonk, 196 00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,640 and they're gone, so you know they were really fish. 197 00:10:28,640 --> 00:10:31,280 I don't know what you were eating or drinking on that occasion, 198 00:10:31,280 --> 00:10:34,200 but I have it here on pretty solid authority 199 00:10:34,200 --> 00:10:38,080 that 30 seconds is a long time for them to stay in the air in one go. 200 00:10:38,080 --> 00:10:40,160 Which is a long glide, 30 seconds. 201 00:10:40,160 --> 00:10:43,360 It appears that they glide, 202 00:10:43,360 --> 00:10:45,520 but even if they move these pectoral fins 203 00:10:45,520 --> 00:10:48,000 that have become their wings, even slightly, 204 00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:51,080 that would count as flying but it seems they are fixed. 205 00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:55,120 Who's going to tell Pam that she probably witnessed a duck? 206 00:10:55,120 --> 00:10:57,240 LAUGHTER 207 00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:10,400 It wasn't a duck. I heard what he said. It wasn't a duck. 208 00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:13,000 It was not a duck at all. 209 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,960 - No? - Is that what he said? - He did. He may have done. 210 00:11:15,960 --> 00:11:18,040 And my sister breeds ducks, 211 00:11:18,040 --> 00:11:22,640 so I know the difference between a duck and a flying fish. 212 00:11:22,640 --> 00:11:26,840 It just looks to me like you keep telling me to eff off. 213 00:11:29,040 --> 00:11:33,360 You - duck - duck - fish. 214 00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:36,840 I didn't realise you'd noticed. 215 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:40,160 That kind of language, Pam. I'm glad my ears are cut off. 216 00:11:41,840 --> 00:11:44,360 The people who most love them are the people of Tao, 217 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:46,800 an island off Taiwan, where it's their staple diet. 218 00:11:46,800 --> 00:11:49,400 - Do they taste nice, then? - Well, I... 219 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:51,400 - Hard to catch, I'd have thought. - Exactly. 220 00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,200 Do you use a 12-bore or a net? 221 00:11:54,200 --> 00:11:56,960 Or one in each hand. That's what I do. 222 00:11:56,960 --> 00:11:59,280 No, you'd just make a little landing strip. 223 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:00,480 LAUGHTER 224 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:03,920 Put some lights on it, you know, some tea candles. 225 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:05,600 Then wave them in! 226 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,400 Stand there with a stick, waiting for them to go... 227 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:10,000 Bring it in? 228 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:13,200 Oh, they've all got grand ideas of being jumbo jets. 229 00:12:14,160 --> 00:12:16,520 Here's a supplementary question, however. 230 00:12:16,520 --> 00:12:19,000 What's the opposite of a flying fish? 231 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,680 Tunnelling flamingo. 232 00:12:21,680 --> 00:12:23,240 LAUGHTER 233 00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,880 Is it going to be some sort of bottom-dwelling... 234 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:30,080 - What do fish do, usually? - Is it a sinking bat? - Fish usually swim. 235 00:12:30,080 --> 00:12:32,320 - What usually flies? - Birds. - Birds. - Birds. 236 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:35,160 - A swimming bird. - A swimming bird. - Come on, that's a point. 237 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:37,040 - There's loads of them. - There are loads of them, 238 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,640 - but which birds are particularly astonishing? - Chocolate biscuit. 239 00:12:39,640 --> 00:12:41,880 - Cormorants. - Chocolate biscuit! 240 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:45,440 - Chocolate biscuit. - P-P-Pick up a-a-a-a... A stork. 241 00:12:45,440 --> 00:12:46,480 LAUGHTER 242 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:51,280 No, it is indeed a penguin and they have their wings, 243 00:12:51,280 --> 00:12:54,160 which are of course now perfect flippers for swimming, 244 00:12:54,160 --> 00:12:56,160 but the fact is, to a scientist, 245 00:12:56,160 --> 00:12:59,840 swimming and flying are absolutely no different. 246 00:12:59,840 --> 00:13:02,280 It's the same muscles, the same principles at work, 247 00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:05,080 it's just the medium of one is water and the other is air. 248 00:13:05,080 --> 00:13:07,800 As far as the penguin's concerned, it's doing what all birds do. 249 00:13:07,800 --> 00:13:09,160 It's just doing it in the water. 250 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:12,560 It looks magnificent but what's the point of developing that, 251 00:13:12,560 --> 00:13:14,160 if no other birds can see it? 252 00:13:14,160 --> 00:13:17,040 It... Why would it want other birds to see it? 253 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,560 You're going, "It's magnificent." 254 00:13:18,560 --> 00:13:21,800 He's swimming round going, "Look at this! Look what I've done!" 255 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,280 All the other birds are going, "Look at that BEEP!" 256 00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:29,800 We're the only creatures, Johnny, that like to show off, I think. 257 00:13:29,800 --> 00:13:32,000 I don't think animals like to show off, do they? 258 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:35,720 Apart from peacocks, and quite a few others, come to think of it now. 259 00:13:35,720 --> 00:13:37,560 LAUGHTER 260 00:13:37,560 --> 00:13:40,960 In fact, all of them. And the ones with the spines and the horns. 261 00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:42,640 LAUGHTER 262 00:13:42,640 --> 00:13:46,880 So, from flying fish to the fishing fly. Ho ho. 263 00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:50,040 Why do women make the best fishermen? 264 00:13:50,040 --> 00:13:52,760 MACHINE-GUN FIRE 265 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,800 They're all descended from mermaids. 266 00:13:54,800 --> 00:13:56,640 LAUGHTER 267 00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:59,800 It's a very sweet thought. 268 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:01,400 I don't know that that's true. 269 00:14:01,400 --> 00:14:05,000 I can imagine you whispering that into a girl's ear. 270 00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:10,400 And in 1654, they negotiated a deal with the octopus witch 271 00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:14,160 to let them also have their voices back. 272 00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,520 LAUGHTER 273 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,160 I need to write this down! 274 00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:24,720 If I can teach my kids this. 275 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,800 - This is... - 16... 276 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:31,800 - It was a massive summit. - Was it? 277 00:14:31,800 --> 00:14:35,760 You might be right, Johnny. I'm not sure. I'll check. 278 00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:37,800 It was like Rivers Of Blood speech, 279 00:14:37,800 --> 00:14:41,880 because a lot of the mackerel were told to BLEEP in shoals. 280 00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:46,560 Right. I see that now. OK. OK. 281 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:49,320 - I think I actually know this. - Yes? Go on. 282 00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,880 - Tell, tell. - I did know a bloke, 283 00:14:51,880 --> 00:14:55,920 he used to get his wife to give him a discarded pubic hair, 284 00:14:55,920 --> 00:14:57,360 because there was a chemical in it 285 00:14:57,360 --> 00:15:00,200 and he used to hair-rig his boilies fishing for carp, 286 00:15:00,200 --> 00:15:02,160 because they think it gives off... 287 00:15:02,160 --> 00:15:04,800 You're absolutely right. This is what people think. 288 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:08,120 APPLAUSE 289 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,200 You're right. 290 00:15:11,200 --> 00:15:13,240 We called him a pervert for years. 291 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,640 You're right that this is what people think. 292 00:15:15,640 --> 00:15:18,000 As it happens, it is completely untrue. 293 00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,360 LAUGHTER 294 00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:24,240 Someone wrote a letter to The Field in which he said 295 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:27,080 he'd had huge success using his wife's pubic hairs, 296 00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,680 and a whole generation of fishermen copied this. 297 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:33,480 There was a belief that pheromones, which are probably the chemicals you were after, 298 00:15:33,480 --> 00:15:35,840 pheromones that women give off... 299 00:15:35,840 --> 00:15:38,280 But there are a number of problems with this, 300 00:15:38,280 --> 00:15:43,360 - there is absolutely no evidence that humans give off pheromones of any kind. - So why are women... 301 00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:47,360 The fact is, the British record for the largest fish caught 302 00:15:47,360 --> 00:15:49,160 on these islands is held by women. 303 00:15:49,160 --> 00:15:54,720 There was a 64lb salmon caught by a Miss Georgina Ballantyne. 304 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,440 The fact is, she was a very experienced angler. 305 00:15:57,440 --> 00:16:00,040 Why does she think it's a saxophone? 306 00:16:00,040 --> 00:16:01,480 LAUGHTER 307 00:16:01,480 --> 00:16:03,920 - She does. - "We'll be in a relationship." 308 00:16:03,920 --> 00:16:06,920 - "Oh, dear God, throw me back!" - In fact... 309 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:13,920 And there was a 66lb catfish caught at Oundle 310 00:16:13,920 --> 00:16:15,880 by another woman, Bev Street. 311 00:16:15,880 --> 00:16:18,640 The point is, if men had caught these enormous fish, 312 00:16:18,640 --> 00:16:21,320 no-one would be groping around for reasons 313 00:16:21,320 --> 00:16:24,200 as to why men were good fishermen. The fact that women hold the record 314 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:27,840 has everyone suddenly going, "There must be some explanation for that. 315 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:30,000 "It can't be because they're good at fishing. 316 00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:33,080 "It must be because they give off a chemical!" 317 00:16:33,080 --> 00:16:35,720 Bizarre theory. Well, there you have it, anyway. 318 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:37,080 Fantastic. 319 00:16:37,080 --> 00:16:41,280 Now, when lions fight bears, which one wins? 320 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,600 LAUGHTER 321 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:44,960 MACHINE-GUN FIRE 322 00:16:44,960 --> 00:16:47,160 - Yes, Johnny? - Which one's had the Stella? 323 00:16:50,280 --> 00:16:53,600 Let's leave your sponsor out of it if we can, Johnny. 324 00:16:53,600 --> 00:16:57,000 Is the answer that they never meet, they're on different continents? 325 00:16:57,000 --> 00:17:00,840 They wouldn't naturally meet but as it happens, they have met. 326 00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,880 It's been organised. A very sick human... 327 00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,840 It's been organised? 328 00:17:04,840 --> 00:17:07,000 In a car-park? 329 00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:09,520 Kind of in a car park, in California, I'm afraid. 330 00:17:09,520 --> 00:17:10,960 It was during the Gold Rush. 331 00:17:10,960 --> 00:17:12,000 I'd back a lion. 332 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,360 - You'd go with the lion, would you? - KLAXON 333 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:18,160 Oh, no. I'm afraid it is the bear every time. 334 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:19,920 - Really? - The skull of the lion is thin 335 00:17:19,920 --> 00:17:22,680 and although it's muscular, it has no real bone-strength 336 00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:24,080 in the way that a bear does, 337 00:17:24,080 --> 00:17:27,000 and a bear can just crush the skull of a lion like that. 338 00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,840 The lion never gets a chance to get in there 339 00:17:28,840 --> 00:17:30,040 and do its thing on the neck, 340 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:32,840 and the bear would win every time. 341 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:35,080 It was during the Gold Rush, the Californians, 342 00:17:35,080 --> 00:17:37,360 to entertain the prospectors and the miners, 343 00:17:37,360 --> 00:17:40,520 started with bears against various other animals. 344 00:17:40,520 --> 00:17:42,680 - Against a bull, for example. - Yuck. How horrible. 345 00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:44,640 It's so cruel and unpleasant. 346 00:17:44,640 --> 00:17:48,120 People got bored with the bear winning, so they shipped in lions 347 00:17:48,120 --> 00:17:50,400 and the lions put on a brave show to start with, 348 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:52,240 and everyone thought they would win, 349 00:17:52,240 --> 00:17:55,120 - and they roared in there but the bear was just too... - Dnnn! 350 00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:57,640 - Every time... - Poor old lion. - ..Crushed its skull. 351 00:18:52,640 --> 00:18:56,400 - My dad was a boxer. - Was he? - Yeah. 352 00:18:56,400 --> 00:18:58,200 Mine was an Irish setter. 353 00:18:58,200 --> 00:19:00,200 - Was he? - LAUGHTER 354 00:19:01,560 --> 00:19:02,960 Sorry. 355 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:04,960 Was he really? 356 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,640 Very superstitious man, he was. 357 00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:09,680 He had this horseshoe that he took everywhere with him. 358 00:19:09,680 --> 00:19:11,800 Yes? 359 00:19:11,800 --> 00:19:15,040 And he kept it in the boxing glove? 360 00:19:15,040 --> 00:19:17,240 You must have known my dad! 361 00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:19,080 That would backfire, though. 362 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,760 - That would break your hand, wouldn't it? - You feel it would. 363 00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,160 Let's come to a question almost on that very subject, 364 00:19:24,160 --> 00:19:29,360 because it's interesting. Name something that's easier to do when you're wearing boxing gloves. 365 00:19:29,360 --> 00:19:32,360 Frisk a porcupine! 366 00:19:32,360 --> 00:19:34,040 Very good! 367 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,000 Give up masturbating! 368 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:38,200 LAUGHTER 369 00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,160 Yes, I suppose. 370 00:19:40,160 --> 00:19:42,920 Yes, but I suppose what I was coming to 371 00:19:42,920 --> 00:19:46,240 was what's so bizarre about boxing gloves, in a way, 372 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:49,920 is that what it really makes it easier to do is to kill someone. 373 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:53,040 - Yeah. - It's a lot easier to kill people wearing boxing gloves 374 00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:55,080 - than it was ever in the bare-knuckle days. - Why? 375 00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:56,800 In those days almost no-one ever died. 376 00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:58,520 There were two recorded instances 377 00:19:58,520 --> 00:20:01,240 in 150 years of bare-knuckle prize-fighting. 378 00:20:01,240 --> 00:20:02,960 I like the shorts! 379 00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,640 They're pretty splendid, aren't they? 380 00:20:05,640 --> 00:20:08,360 You can't hit someone as hard, can you? Repeatedly. 381 00:20:08,360 --> 00:20:11,440 The thing is, if you try and hit someone on the jaw, 382 00:20:11,440 --> 00:20:13,120 you break your own fist, 383 00:20:13,120 --> 00:20:15,760 so in the old days people punched against the chest 384 00:20:15,760 --> 00:20:17,840 and the stomach and the arms and everything else, 385 00:20:17,840 --> 00:20:20,360 but they avoided the chin - they would hurt themselves. 386 00:20:20,360 --> 00:20:21,760 As soon as you put gloves on, 387 00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:23,920 - they were battering each other in the face... - I see. 388 00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:28,480 I mean, four people a year die in America alone from boxing injuries. 389 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:30,880 It's a very dangerous sport indeed. 390 00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:34,800 But in the bare-knuckle days, which had no time limits to their rounds, 391 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:39,160 people would survive and walk away. 392 00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:35,160 In the words of the British boxer 393 00:22:35,360 --> 00:22:38,080 and former world middleweight champion Alan Minter, 394 00:22:38,080 --> 00:22:40,800 "Sure, there have been injuries and deaths in boxing, 395 00:22:40,800 --> 00:22:42,240 "but none of them serious." 396 00:29:23,240 --> 00:29:29,160 Now, what kind of birds used to go out with Viking sailors? 397 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:50,480 Turkeys. Chickens. 398 00:29:50,480 --> 00:29:51,960 - No. - Geese. 399 00:29:51,960 --> 00:29:54,640 Swans. Birds we didn't have here till they arrived. 400 00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,920 - They helped them find their way... - Yes. - ..Through the fog. 401 00:30:38,920 --> 00:30:40,960 Not through the fog, no. 402 00:30:40,960 --> 00:30:43,560 It was to discover new lands, which the Vikings liked to do. 403 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:44,960 What would be the purpose of it? 404 00:30:44,960 --> 00:30:47,880 How useful would a bird be? It's really cunning, this. 405 00:30:47,880 --> 00:30:52,040 - Is it one that would go up high and see further than you could see? - Yes.- A talking bird! 406 00:30:54,480 --> 00:30:58,520 Either that, or imagine a bird that couldn't land on the water, couldn't swim... 407 00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,520 So when it saw land, it would head towards land and you'd follow it. 408 00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:05,720 - But if there was no land? - It would drown? - No, get back in the ship. - Oh, right. 409 00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:10,280 It would go, "There's nowhere for me to go but the ship." It had to be a non-migratory bird, 410 00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:14,320 one that doesn't usually fly over the water, that can't land in the water. 411 00:31:14,320 --> 00:31:18,200 You'd let it fly. It goes up to about 5,000ft and you can still see it. 412 00:31:18,200 --> 00:31:22,040 If there's land, it will shoot off to the land, so you follow it in that direction. 413 00:31:22,040 --> 00:31:25,560 If there's no land and you're still right in the middle of the ocean, it would 414 00:31:25,560 --> 00:31:29,400 come back down again and you'd carry on sailing. Yes? 415 00:31:29,400 --> 00:31:32,760 - Is it a budgie? - It's not a budgie. 416 00:31:32,760 --> 00:31:33,960 What a pity. 417 00:31:33,960 --> 00:31:37,080 - It's actually a... Noah uses it. - Is it a gander? 418 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:38,720 - It's not a gander. - Is it a dove? 419 00:31:38,720 --> 00:31:42,320 - No. Before the dove, if you remember, in the Bible, he used... - Punters, help us. 420 00:31:42,320 --> 00:31:43,880 - Raven. - Very good. 421 00:31:43,880 --> 00:31:45,120 I was going to say that. 422 00:31:45,120 --> 00:31:46,920 I was going to say that at the start. 423 00:31:46,920 --> 00:31:50,440 - Ah! There it is, there's the raven. Yes, a raven. - Can't land on water. 424 00:31:50,440 --> 00:31:54,320 So the religious maniac in the audience got it right. 425 00:31:54,320 --> 00:31:59,320 No, I'm only joking. It was indeed. Of course, Noah used that first. Isn't that a cunning thing to do? 426 00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:02,800 There was a particular Viking, and his name was Flopsi... 427 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:05,120 Is he the one with the pink ship? 428 00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:09,080 - LAUGHTER - No, I got his name a bit wrong. 429 00:32:09,080 --> 00:32:11,880 - Did he have very long ears? - There was a group of them. 430 00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:19,280 Floki is to this day apparently... Vilgerdarson, he is known to this day as Raven-Floki 431 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:22,280 because he discovered, at least for the Vikings, 432 00:32:22,280 --> 00:32:25,000 he discovered Iceland that way, by sending a raven. 433 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,440 - Now in which direction do rockets... - What if the ravens... 434 00:32:27,440 --> 00:32:32,920 Sorry. What if the ravens are sat in a studio now, making their own show, 435 00:32:32,920 --> 00:32:36,920 going, "And it was the first raven that ingeniously used humans..." 436 00:32:36,920 --> 00:32:39,320 I like the way your mind works. 437 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:42,040 "..to transport us..." You know what I mean? 438 00:32:42,040 --> 00:32:47,240 Johnny, they wouldn't say that. They wouldn't say that. They'd go, "Kaa! Kaa!" 439 00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:50,440 Think these things through! 440 00:32:52,440 --> 00:32:56,640 - I believe they would say... - There's nothing worse than a half-baked idea. 441 00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:59,440 Oh, don't bully the poor thing. 442 00:32:59,440 --> 00:33:04,360 Right, in which direction do rockets accelerate best? 443 00:33:04,360 --> 00:33:06,800 - HEAVY FIRE - Yes? 444 00:33:06,800 --> 00:33:09,000 - Down. - No. 445 00:33:12,680 --> 00:33:15,200 - I just felt like doing that. - Oh, fair enough. 446 00:33:15,200 --> 00:33:17,360 Do they leave the ground quicker 447 00:33:17,360 --> 00:33:19,960 than they return to the ground? Is that the thing? 448 00:33:19,960 --> 00:33:23,760 No, it's where do they get their maximum acceleration? In which position? 449 00:33:23,760 --> 00:33:26,240 - Horizontal. - Horizontal is the right answer. 450 00:33:26,240 --> 00:33:28,520 Although they have to leave quickly like that, 451 00:33:28,520 --> 00:33:31,600 they tip and the moment their weight is not over the thruster, 452 00:33:31,600 --> 00:33:34,280 they generate lift and they're like planes, almost. 453 00:33:34,280 --> 00:33:39,040 And most of their work is done horizontally, not vertically. 454 00:34:39,040 --> 00:34:43,320 - But you know when there was the Greenham Common protest about cruise missiles? - I remember that. 455 00:34:43,320 --> 00:34:47,360 And one of the things they used to say was, "Oh, these missiles, they're shaped like penises. 456 00:34:47,360 --> 00:34:49,120 "They're about man's aggression." 457 00:34:49,120 --> 00:34:53,920 And you're thinking, "They're shaped like that because that's the most aerodynamic shape." 458 00:34:53,920 --> 00:34:58,880 They wouldn't be very successful if they were shaped like vaginas, would they? 459 00:37:08,180 --> 00:37:13,260 And now to the point where, as your flight instructor, I propel 460 00:37:13,260 --> 00:37:18,220 you towards the yawning void of general ignorance, so fingers on your firing buttons, if you please. 461 00:37:18,220 --> 00:37:24,860 Which of the armed services refers to the left and right sides of an aeroplane as port and starboard? 462 00:37:24,860 --> 00:37:26,460 HEAVY FIRE 463 00:37:26,460 --> 00:37:29,260 - Yes? - That would be the Navy, wouldn't it? 464 00:37:31,820 --> 00:37:33,620 Oh, it's not the Navy, in fact. 465 00:37:33,620 --> 00:37:35,700 - For very good reasons. - The RAF? 466 00:37:35,700 --> 00:37:39,980 The RAF do and the Army does, and all the others, but not the Fleet Air Arm or the Navy, 467 00:37:39,980 --> 00:37:43,020 because they have aeroplanes on boats sometimes, 468 00:37:43,020 --> 00:37:46,540 at different angles, and they have to keep port and starboard as being 469 00:37:46,540 --> 00:37:48,380 according to the axis of the boat. 470 00:37:48,380 --> 00:37:53,060 Otherwise, if the plane's facing the wrong way, you could get death and confusion and disaster. 471 00:37:53,060 --> 00:37:57,500 So in the training manuals for that sea harrier, it says the left wing and the right wing. 472 00:37:57,500 --> 00:38:01,140 And now, what's this chap wearing, here? 473 00:38:01,140 --> 00:38:04,220 Please show me, while we're still in the Navy and the Army. 474 00:38:04,220 --> 00:38:05,980 A busby. 475 00:38:05,980 --> 00:38:09,940 Oh, thank you, Pam. You were doing so well. No, he's not wearing a busby. 476 00:38:09,940 --> 00:38:12,980 - A bearskin? - It is a bearskin, yes. - I was going to say a medal. 477 00:38:15,580 --> 00:38:17,580 It is called a busby though, isn't it? 478 00:38:17,580 --> 00:38:19,940 It's not called a busby. We will show you a busby. 479 00:38:19,940 --> 00:38:21,860 There, on the right hand and the left hand. 480 00:38:21,860 --> 00:38:25,540 Those are busbies. Much shorter. But what is the bearskin made of? 481 00:38:25,540 --> 00:38:27,180 - Bear. - Nylon? - Wood? - Acrylic. 482 00:38:27,180 --> 00:38:31,700 - Bear. - You're quite right. - Ostensibly, bear hair. 483 00:38:31,700 --> 00:38:36,900 Bear hair. They tried making bearskins out of acrylics and nylons and various other things, 484 00:38:36,900 --> 00:38:42,220 but they get bedraggled in the wet and they stand up with static electricity and look preposterous. 485 00:38:42,220 --> 00:38:46,100 So, of course, you wouldn't want to look preposterous on parade. 486 00:38:46,100 --> 00:38:48,380 What would win in a fight between them two hats? 487 00:38:50,620 --> 00:38:55,220 If you go back to the first photograph, of the guy in the bearskin, there. Do you know, Pam, 488 00:38:55,220 --> 00:38:59,700 - because you said your... Who did you say was in the Guards? - My dad was a Grenadier Guard. 489 00:38:59,700 --> 00:39:04,020 Now, there are five regiments in the Brigade Of Guards. Can you tell me which he's in? 490 00:39:04,020 --> 00:39:07,020 - There's a way of telling. - I'm afraid I don't know. 491 00:39:07,020 --> 00:39:09,740 - My father wouldn't be very pleased with me. - Buttons. - Yes. 492 00:39:09,740 --> 00:39:12,580 The Grenadier Guards' buttons are evenly spaced. 493 00:39:12,580 --> 00:39:16,180 In pairs, like this, it means he's in the Coldstream Guards. 494 00:39:16,180 --> 00:39:19,620 - Oh, I didn't know that. - If they're in threes, you're in the Scottish Guards. 495 00:39:19,620 --> 00:39:22,860 - And there's an Irish Guards. - In fours, it's the Irish Guards, and fives is the Welsh Guards. 496 00:39:22,860 --> 00:39:25,220 What if you've got a zip? 497 00:39:26,220 --> 00:39:30,220 - A zip? - Yeah. Or you're like a stripper, it's just Velcro. 498 00:39:32,420 --> 00:39:35,500 I'm going to change your guard! 499 00:39:35,500 --> 00:39:37,300 I'm going to be trooping my colour! 500 00:39:37,300 --> 00:39:38,820 LAUGHTER 501 00:39:39,860 --> 00:39:42,540 APPLAUSE 502 00:39:43,540 --> 00:39:44,940 Oh, dear. 503 00:39:44,940 --> 00:39:47,820 Guards were indeed very... 504 00:39:47,820 --> 00:39:52,020 There were lots of stories about men doing things with Guardsmen in the '50s and '60s. 505 00:39:52,020 --> 00:39:55,620 And that story of Churchill being woken up one morning when he was PM in the '50s 506 00:39:55,620 --> 00:39:58,980 and he was told, "I'm afraid there's a bit of a scandal, Prime Minister. 507 00:39:58,980 --> 00:40:02,900 "One of our backbench MPs was found with a Guardsman in St James's Park in the bushes last night 508 00:40:02,900 --> 00:40:05,860 "by the police, and the papers have got hold of it." 509 00:40:05,860 --> 00:40:08,260 Churchill said, "Last night?" He said, "Yes." 510 00:40:08,260 --> 00:40:11,700 Churchill said, "It was very cold last night, wasn't it?" 511 00:40:11,700 --> 00:40:14,100 And the PPA said, "Well, yes, actually, Prime Minister. 512 00:40:14,100 --> 00:40:17,540 "I believe it was one of the coldest February nights for 30 years." 513 00:40:17,540 --> 00:40:20,700 Churchill said, "Makes you proud to be British." 514 00:40:22,060 --> 00:40:25,060 Don't think they'd have that attitude now. 515 00:40:25,060 --> 00:40:29,540 Anyway, yes, the tall hat worn by the Foot Guards is a bearskin. 516 00:40:29,540 --> 00:40:33,940 Short one with the flap worn by the Hussars and the Royal Horse Artillery, that's a busby. 517 00:42:10,940 --> 00:42:12,380 And now, be very afraid. 518 00:42:12,380 --> 00:42:17,500 Be very, very afraid indeed. Or invite me to come outside, because I'm ready to tell you the scores. 519 00:42:17,500 --> 00:42:19,220 Oh, no! 520 00:42:19,220 --> 00:42:21,660 Well, it's really, really interesting. 521 00:42:21,660 --> 00:42:23,660 In first place, would you believe, 522 00:42:23,660 --> 00:42:26,660 and it's only her first appearance, it's Pam Ayres! 523 00:42:26,660 --> 00:42:31,060 - Oh! - ENTHUSIASTIC APPLAUSE 524 00:42:31,060 --> 00:42:36,540 In second place, with plus one, is Johnny Vegas! 525 00:42:36,540 --> 00:42:38,060 Yeah! 526 00:42:42,700 --> 00:42:46,660 Miles behind, with minus 11, is Alan Davies, who's not last! 527 00:42:51,460 --> 00:42:55,420 Which means that freefalling at terminal velocity this evening, 528 00:42:55,420 --> 00:42:57,780 on minus 12, Sean Lock! 529 00:42:57,780 --> 00:43:01,740 APPLAUSE 530 00:43:05,160 --> 00:43:08,640 So that's all from us this week. My thanks to Sean, Johnny, 531 00:43:08,640 --> 00:43:13,440 Pam and Alan, and I leave you with this thought on the subject of fight or flight from Michael Freedman. 532 00:43:13,440 --> 00:43:18,560 The scientific name for an animal that doesn't either run from or fight its enemies is "lunch". 533 00:43:18,560 --> 00:43:20,080 Goodnight. 534 00:43:29,120 --> 00:43:30,960 Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd 535 00:43:30,960 --> 00:43:32,920 E-mail subtitling@bbc.co.uk