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CHEERING AND APPLAUSE

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Go-oo-oo-ood evening,
good evening, good evening

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and welcome to QI.

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Tonight, as Plato said, "Let no-one
untrained in geometry enter here,"

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for our theme is geometry.

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And sitting around
our conic section tonight,
we have the shapely Johnny Vegas.

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00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,080
APPLAUSE

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The curvaceous Rob Brydon.

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APPLAUSE

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The hyperbolic David Mitchell.

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APPLAUSE

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And a square peg in a round hole,
Alan Davies.

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APPLAUSE

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So let's hear your geometrical
buzzers. Rob goes...

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# Bermuda Triangle

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# It makes people disappear... #

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And Johnny goes...

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# You're so square
Baby, I don't care... #

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David goes...

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# Like a circle in a spiral,
like a wheel within a wheel... #

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And Alan goes...

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# The wheels on the bus go
round and round, all day long... #

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I thought we'd begin tonight
with some fashion tips. Johnny,
you're looking very svelte.

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What's your secret?

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Well, it's a tidy neck.

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A tidy neck? Yeah, and a button hole
just left casual enough,

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so if a lady should approach you,
she's going, "There's room
for change, but not too much."

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Oh, that's the secret...

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Two buttons down,
part slag, part hero.

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Anyone have any thoughts
as to why he might be looking
or might not be looking svelte?

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Is it to do with the direction
of his stripes?

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It is to do with the direction
of his stripes.

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It is, look at the picture there.
It's accentuating my breasts.

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On the left, that's Alexander
Armstrong. It does look a bit
like him. It does. Extraordinary.

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They make fat people wear stripes
and you can tell how old they are.
It's like cutting a tree in half.

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It's supposed to be that vertical
stripes may you look slimmer,
but they don't. You're right.

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That's the point. Absolutely right.

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People should wear the...
the horizontal ones

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that Johnny is sporting.

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It's very interesting because almost
everybody thinks that vertical
stripes make people look slimmer.

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In prisons, sometimes women
have asked for vertical,
rather than horizontal stripes,

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so that they look leaner,
or they think they do,

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but research from a man called
Dr Peter Thompson of York University

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has found that the large majority
think the one in the vertical stripe
is larger

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than the one in the horizontal
stripe when they are the same size.

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Surely, this shows that it makes
no difference at all

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because we're determining whether
wearing vertical or horizontal
stripes makes you look thinner

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and you can't tell by looking.

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The difference is so slight
that you have to do research
with hundreds and hundreds of people.

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Basically, people look as fat
or thin as they are.

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You are... I beg to differ.

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I have a friend who's quite short and
he likes to wear vertical stripes
because they make him look taller.

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Only when he's not standing
next to anyone.

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It's not going to make him look
taller than a taller man.

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It's all relative. He'll just say,
"There's a normal-sized man
next to an enormous man!"

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"Oh, he's taken his striped shirt
off. It's a tiny man
next to a normal man."

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I've missed your angry logic, David,
I have to say.

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It just alternates, doesn't it?
For ages, you think vertical stripes
make people look thinner.

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Then you say, "She's wearing
vertical stripes, so she must be
fatter than she looks."

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So suddenly, horizontal stripes
start making you look thin.

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"She must be thin, otherwise she'd
never dare wear horizontal stripes."

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Then they go, "No, horizontal
stripes make you look thinner."
"Oh, she must be fat."

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APPLAUSE

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So these are the things
that go through your mind when
you see someone wearing stripes?

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What happens when you see someone
with polka dots and you're going,
"She must be nine mile long"?

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Contrary to popular belief,
horizontal stripes are
more slimming than vertical ones.

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While we're admiring fine lines...
David, you may know this
cos you're bright.

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Not that you others aren't.

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I'll feel terrible if I don't!

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Why do columns around
the Parthenon look straight?

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Because they are.

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You see, I don't think I know this
and I think I'm going to say
something embarrassing. Go on.

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It gets wider,
so that it looks straight.

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It's further away at the top,
so to stop it looking like
it's tapering, they made it wider.

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This was the theory for a long time.
It's a thing called entasis.

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If a column is exactly straight,
from a distance
it looks as if it bows inwards.

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The secret is to make it bow
slightly outwards, so from
a distance, it looks straight.

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But it turns out
this isn't what they did after all.

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It's Alan's first answer which is
they look straight cos they are
straight. That's not a question!

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Why does this man look thin?
Because he is!

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That... That has taken me
on a whole circle!

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A train of thought going,
"The reason they look straight
is because they are."

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This is why I struggled at school!

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It's the Q of QI...
If a train travels at 40mph

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and leaves at 9 o'clock and arrives
in Glasgow at 12 o'clock,
how did it get there?

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You're going, "Cos it did!"

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LAUGHTER

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It's sort of that. It's not
sort of that. It's very confusing!

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It's the Q of QI.
It is going round in a circle,
but with a twiddly bit at the end.

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Why does that look straight?

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Because it's not.

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That would have been a question.
Why does that look straight?

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Because it is!

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Sometimes...

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Because it is!

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Sometimes things look...
It's straight!

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Please don't be unhappy, Johnny. I'm
not. I'm just confused at the start!

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Let me un-confuse you because
the same man who discovered...

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I try! You do, Johnny.

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No, seriously, listen. The same
man... Do you remember what his name
was, who discovered that hoops...?

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Peter Thompson. He also discovered
that the straight lines on the
Parthenon... He's good with lines.

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..are straight
because they're straight?
He is here tonight in the studio.

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Where are you, Peter?
He's wearing a straight moustache.

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Hello, Peter Thompson. Hello. You've
upset Johnny, but what's your point?

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He's looking fantastically slim
tonight because he's wearing
horizontal stripes. It is true...

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I'll still have a heart attack.

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They won't stop that. Thanks
to the stripes, I'll be in denial.

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DAVID:
What do you have to wear
to look not dead when you are?

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Why am I looking so good?

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You look good because
you're wearing horizontal stripes.
They make you look taller.

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Vertical stripes will
make you look wider, certainly.

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Which is against what everybody
believes? Yes, but someone has to
do the science to show what is true.

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If you're really fat,
it won't make a lot of difference
because the effect's not that big.

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LAUGHTER

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You may have aroused the beast
within Johnny.

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I give you my theory!

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Peter Thompson, thank you very much
indeed. Dr Thompson, everybody!

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APPLAUSE
Excellent. There you are.

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Who was it, though, that first saw
some pillars that looked straight

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and thought that must be
because they bulge, rather than
that they're just straight?

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I think it does exist, this entasis,
but not on the Parthenon.

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There are other places
where it does happen,

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where from the right distance,
they look straight.

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Other people believe they may be
bowed for structural reasons,
that it helps them stand up more.

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00:12:21,480 --> 00:12:26,600
There you are.
The columns on the Parthenon look
straight because they are straight.

126
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Now look at these two shapes.
They have names, right?

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Kerpow! Well, one is the kiki
and the other is the bouba.

128
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:38,640
Tell me which is which.
Bouba's on the right, clearly.

129
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Would you agree with that?
Kiki's the spiky one.

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00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:47,720
Would you agree? I would say kiki
is the splodgy one and bouba is
the spiky one. The other way round?

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What would you say, Johnny?
I hate to think!

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I would say they should go back
to their dating agency.

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LAUGHTER

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00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:02,280
And ask for a refund. Shall we ask
the audience what they think?

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00:13:02,280 --> 00:13:06,120
If you think kiki is the one
on the left, put your hand up.

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00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:08,640
That's a huge majority.

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00:13:08,640 --> 00:13:11,480
Who thinks kiki may be the one
on the right?

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There's a few of you going along
with Rob. Are you all Welsh?

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There is no right or wrong answer.

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Wolfgang Kohler was a, was a...

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A pirate!
That's the word I was after(!)

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Arr-arr-arr-arr!

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APPLAUSE

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00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:31,520
I was...

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00:13:31,520 --> 00:13:38,160
I wanted to say "psychologist".
I looked at you and all
I could think of was "psychiatrist".

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I don't know about other languages,
but in English, "point" sounds
pointy, "blob" sounds blobby.

147
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The point is it's true
in all languages.

148
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That "kiki" sound to anybody,
whatever their culture, they would
think that was the spiky one.

149
00:13:53,880 --> 00:13:58,520
Crack and blob. And the bouba thing,
they would think of as blobby.

150
00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:04,560
Is it a form of onomatopoeia? It is
a form of "honour", as you say,
"matter", as you point out, "peer".

151
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:10,520
Well done. That's exactly what
I would say. It seems to go deep
within us, whatever our cultures.

152
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:15,720
In other languages,
for example, in Huambisa,
which is a South American language,

153
00:14:15,720 --> 00:14:22,200
98% of people who didn't speak
Huambisa, when seeing the words
"chunchuikit" and "mauts",

154
00:14:22,200 --> 00:14:28,240
thought that if one was a fish
and one was a bird, "chunchuikit"
would be a bird and "mauts" a fish.

155
00:14:28,240 --> 00:14:31,960
Flap-flap-flap. Yeah, there is
a deep onomatopoeia within...

156
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:35,120
And yet the Welsh word for "carrot"
is "moron".

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LAUGHTER
Is it?

158
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There we go again, bucking the trend.

159
00:14:40,600 --> 00:14:43,640
If "moron" was going to be a word
for a food,

160
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I'd say it would be for something
more like a mousse or a pate.

161
00:14:47,680 --> 00:14:50,400
A potato. I would say a baked potato.

162
00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,760
They're quite blunt - carrots.
Yes, but...

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00:14:53,760 --> 00:14:58,800
"Moron" is the Greek for "blunt",
which is why it means
"obtuse, blunt-witted".

164
00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:03,120
"Oxy" is "sharp", "moron" is
"blunt", hence oxymoron being a...

165
00:15:03,120 --> 00:15:08,840
Carrot is right for carrot
because it's crunchy. "Carrot",
when you bite it, "carrot"...

166
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:15,120
Moron, there's nothing "moronny".
Unless you're being inappropriate
with your carrot and going...

167
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What's odd about onion rings?

168
00:15:19,320 --> 00:15:26,280
More-ish. Exactly. Yeah, moreish,
rather than moron. What rule
do they come under? Onion rings?

169
00:15:26,280 --> 00:15:31,440
Let's not... It's not that
every single word in every language
is onomatopoeic.

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They often are, though.
They often are, yes.

171
00:15:34,480 --> 00:15:36,440
Desk! Yeah... Desk!

172
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Tin, tin, tin, tin.

173
00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:43,680
Boo-oo-oo-ook.

174
00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:45,920
Pen!

175
00:15:45,920 --> 00:15:50,080
This is how you teach a chimp
to speak.

176
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Well, then, pay attention. Paper!

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00:15:53,600 --> 00:15:56,040
APPLAUSE

178
00:15:57,120 --> 00:16:00,280
Very mean and most unjustified.

179
00:16:00,280 --> 00:16:05,320
And mother and father
in a lot of languages, "mother"
is the "ma-ma" towards you

180
00:16:05,320 --> 00:16:08,960
and "father" is the "ba" and "da"
away from you.

181
00:16:08,960 --> 00:16:15,080
Speaking as a father, can I say that
my parenting doesn't consist of that?
No, it's the baby doing that.

182
00:16:15,080 --> 00:16:21,040
The mother is towards me and
the father is over there. He's "da",
he's there. But what if he's here?

183
00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:25,280
Yeah, all right, but mostly...
Don't get cross with me!

184
00:16:25,280 --> 00:16:31,320
He's asked you some absolutely
ludicrous things and you've sat there
going, "Oh, your northern charm!"

185
00:16:31,320 --> 00:16:36,440
I give you one query
and you look at me like I'm an arse!

186
00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:40,440
I can't answer... You've done this
before on this show!

187
00:16:40,440 --> 00:16:44,240
From now on, you're my friend
and my pet, Rob. I'm very sorry.

188
00:16:44,240 --> 00:16:49,360
Maybe I think you can take it more
and that Johnny's
a little more vulnerable.

189
00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:52,880
He's got big, soft, sad eyes.
Look, you see?

190
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,640
My eyes are soft! That's true.

191
00:16:55,640 --> 00:16:59,880
No, your eyes are keen.
Mine are soft, yours are keen.

192
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:03,920
Mine are not keen. You're looking
for a weakness, whereas I...

193
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:08,960
I just...
Johnny has the eyes of trust.
You have the eyes of prostitution.

194
00:17:08,960 --> 00:17:11,800
LAUGHTER

195
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:14,200
Whoa!

196
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:18,360
I thought I was watching
the Mr Men behind Alan's head!

197
00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:47,400
I don't know. I like
the bright colours. Yes, yes.

198
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:51,400
I like my eyes and the fact that
you leave me alone when I go quiet.

199
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:56,080
Well done, everybody there,
tarts and chimpanzees and all.

200
00:17:56,080 --> 00:18:01,440
After that display of topological
trickery, perhaps we should
get back to our books.

201
00:18:01,440 --> 00:18:06,000
Can you tell me what the most
successful textbook of all time is?

202
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:10,400
Is it the one that teaches you
what LOL means and LMAO?

203
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:12,720
It probably is now. Yeah.

204
00:18:12,720 --> 00:18:15,720
No, what's our theme for the day?

205
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:18,600
Geometry. It's the... Logarithms.

206
00:18:18,600 --> 00:18:21,040
Not logarithms. No, not logarithms!

207
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,840
LAUGHTER

208
00:18:23,840 --> 00:18:28,160
Oh! Do you want my eyes?
He might listen to you.

209
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,480
Stephen, is it logarithms?

210
00:18:30,480 --> 00:18:33,040
No, but it's a jolly good guess.

211
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:38,080
Some ancient geometrical textbook
written probably by a Greek.
Kites For Beginners!

212
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:41,800
Euclid. Euclid is the right answer,
David Mitchell.

213
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,520
Euclid, Euclid's Stoicheia,
Euclid's Elements.

214
00:18:45,520 --> 00:18:49,640
The propositions of Euclid are all
about planes and conical sections

215
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,880
and all the forms
of the circle and the square,

216
00:18:52,880 --> 00:18:58,720
the provable facts of geometry
that are the basis of everything,
the physics that came afterwards.

217
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:04,120
So he turned up and said,
"This is why all the buildings
have been falling down."

218
00:19:04,120 --> 00:19:07,560
Engineering obviously owed
a huge amount to it.

219
00:19:07,560 --> 00:19:13,440
Many mathematicians believe his book
is perhaps the most beautiful
of all the mathematical books.

220
00:19:13,440 --> 00:19:20,080
We're looking at one of the earliest
editions. What does it say there?
"The most" something "philosopher".

221
00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,800
I'm brilliant with Latin.
No, it's written in English.

222
00:19:23,800 --> 00:19:26,440
LAUGHTER

223
00:19:27,800 --> 00:19:30,680
APPLAUSE

224
00:19:30,680 --> 00:19:35,120
But the names... You're right, the
names are written in Greek there.

225
00:19:35,120 --> 00:19:38,000
Yeah, and that's what threw me.

226
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:42,560
Queen Elizabeth I's court magician,
John Dee. Have you heard of him?

227
00:19:42,560 --> 00:19:46,080
Hmm. He was an extraordinary man
who worked as a spy.

228
00:19:46,080 --> 00:19:49,920
Can you tell me the cipher he used
as a spy? Invisible ink?

229
00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:53,040
No, he had a particular cipher,
his call sign.

230
00:19:53,040 --> 00:19:58,400
And a writer many, many years later,
who was extremely learned
in the ways of the world,

231
00:19:58,400 --> 00:20:02,240
despite being thought of just
as a thriller writer, used it...

232
00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:04,840
Ian Fleming. Yes. 007.

233
00:20:04,840 --> 00:20:10,200
Exactly. It was John Dee's
call sign. I sense points.
Yes, you will have seven points.

234
00:20:10,200 --> 00:20:14,400
Seven points! I could give you 700,
written backwards. That's too much.

235
00:20:14,400 --> 00:20:16,920
I'm not going to speak again!

236
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:22,760
He was also one of the people
responsible for bringing Euclid
to the attention of the world.

237
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,960
We'll take a bird's-eye view now.

238
00:20:24,960 --> 00:20:29,040
What's the best place to go
to look into the future?

239
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:33,120
A sci-fi convention.
A sci-fi convention? Yeah.

240
00:20:33,120 --> 00:20:36,120
Right, OK. Maybe.

241
00:20:36,120 --> 00:20:41,840
When you see the stars
and the sun, that's old light.
That's looking into the past.

242
00:20:41,840 --> 00:20:47,680
Do you have to go past that?
You look backwards because history
teaches us the future.

243
00:20:48,680 --> 00:20:52,400
Because from history,
we learn patterns.

244
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:55,240
And as Dr Phil says
time and time again,

245
00:20:55,240 --> 00:21:00,320
the greatest indicator of future
behaviour is past behaviour.

246
00:21:00,320 --> 00:21:04,360
When are you going to realise
he's not interested? I'm so...

247
00:21:04,360 --> 00:21:06,960
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

248
00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:12,520
Tell him you're interested. I'm
very interested. A very good answer.

249
00:21:12,520 --> 00:21:16,040
Unlike when you speak,
he's not frightened.

250
00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:22,360
Just to return briefly...
Just to pull the reins in a little,

251
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:26,280
there is a place where physically
you can look into the future.

252
00:21:26,280 --> 00:21:31,320
You're not literally looking
into the future. Is it
by the International Date Line?

253
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:36,920
Exactly. Does it have the magic hill
where you're going up,
even though you're...

254
00:21:36,920 --> 00:21:42,440
No, it's not that.
No, this is literally the date line.
You see, that was stupid!

255
00:21:42,440 --> 00:21:48,840
It wasn't stupid. I knew that was
wrong and he went, "Of course not,
Johnny." He just doesn't like you.

256
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:52,160
This divides... Thanks, Stephen.
That's fine.

257
00:21:52,160 --> 00:21:59,400
So if you're on... Looking at it,
we'd say the left-hand side
of that red line, right?

258
00:21:59,400 --> 00:22:02,800
In time, it's ahead
of the right-hand side,

259
00:22:02,800 --> 00:22:07,760
so if you were to fly
from Los Angeles in America
to Sydney, Australia,

260
00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:10,800
you would lose a day,
as I did a few months ago.

261
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:13,720
If I stood perfectly on that line...

262
00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:16,640
You'd drown. Let's just say...

263
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:19,280
LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE

264
00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:23,880
If I stood on that line
and there's an accident,

265
00:22:23,880 --> 00:22:29,160
could I jump over the line
and stop yourself from doing it?

266
00:22:29,160 --> 00:22:32,200
LAUGHTER
Aside...

267
00:22:32,200 --> 00:22:35,960
You could warn yourself.
You could wave back and...

268
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:41,880
You're thinking of Michael J Fox.
Can you jump back and stop yourself
making mistakes?

269
00:22:41,880 --> 00:22:47,320
You can't literally do that, but...
You lost a day flying,
so it was two days later...

270
00:22:47,320 --> 00:22:50,960
I went on the 18th of December
and I arrived on the 20th.

271
00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:56,600
Having only lived one day? Yeah.
You were only a day older,
yet the world was two days older.

272
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,160
Part of the world was two days older.

273
00:22:59,160 --> 00:23:04,400
If you did that every day,
you'd live twice the number of days
of most humans

274
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:09,440
and would appear,
despite only having lived, say,
80 years, to have lived for 160.

275
00:23:09,440 --> 00:23:14,960
Yes. "Amazing, a 160-year-old man!
What did he achieve?" "Nothing.
He had a lot of airline fuel."

276
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:18,080
Would you struggle
to hold down a job?

277
00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:22,360
Yes. Yeah. Yes, you would.
In terms of a pension?

278
00:23:22,360 --> 00:23:27,360
You could maybe do it
if you lived on the Diomede Islands.
They're at the very top.

279
00:23:27,360 --> 00:23:33,200
What's that area of water between
Russia and...? Bering Strait.
Exactly. We can zoom in there.

280
00:23:33,200 --> 00:23:39,960
There's the International Date Line
and Big Diomede and Small Diomede,
the greater and the lesser Diomedes.

281
00:23:39,960 --> 00:23:44,480
If you were stood with your child
and he had a pet rabbit and it died,

282
00:23:44,480 --> 00:23:48,520
could you jump over that time line
with the rabbit...

283
00:23:48,520 --> 00:23:53,320
It would come back to life,
still be ill and die.
..and jump back with it?

284
00:23:53,320 --> 00:23:57,360
I'm going to ask you what
your opinion is. What do you think?

285
00:23:57,360 --> 00:24:01,040
I think, me personally,
but I'm selfish,

286
00:24:01,040 --> 00:24:07,120
what I would do, I'd get a jet ski
and stay on the line
and go round the world. Right.

287
00:24:07,120 --> 00:24:12,320
Yes. And stay at my perfect weight
and this age
for the rest of my life.

288
00:24:12,320 --> 00:24:16,160
I would go round the world
continually following that line,

289
00:24:16,160 --> 00:24:19,160
shouting advice
and being mistaken for God.

290
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:24,640
I wouldn't be surprised if my parents
came in and had a word with you

291
00:24:24,640 --> 00:24:30,520
and asked if Johnny could be taken
to another class because they feel
Rob isn't learning.

292
00:24:30,520 --> 00:24:32,560
APPLAUSE

293
00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:38,800
That's exceptionally
well expressed.

294
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:44,120
Hang on. The International
Date Line is wiggly.
The Greenwich Meridian isn't.

295
00:24:44,120 --> 00:24:47,240
It passes round territories
and island groups.

296
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:51,280
So two houses on the same street
aren't on two different days?

297
00:24:51,280 --> 00:24:55,480
It tries to avoid going through
land. The closest it gets is there.

298
00:24:55,480 --> 00:25:01,520
Does Small Diomede look
at Big Diomede and watch people
get older faster? Yeah, exactly.

299
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:06,440
If you're standing on Big Diomede,
you are looking at the past.

300
00:25:06,440 --> 00:25:08,800
If you stand on Little One...

301
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:13,360
It's Friday and you're on Big
Diomede, you see them on Thursday.

302
00:25:13,360 --> 00:25:17,640
And you're already drunk. Yeah.
And they're hungover!

303
00:25:17,640 --> 00:25:19,880
Are you ready to move on? Yes.

304
00:25:19,880 --> 00:25:24,200
So the best place to see into
tomorrow... I'm tired of being odd.

305
00:25:24,200 --> 00:25:28,160
Oh, bless! The best place to see
into tomorrow is the Diomede Islands

306
00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,200
on opposite sides
of the International Date Line.

307
00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:35,560
Now try this. Where does the extra
square in this diagram come from?

308
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:40,160
Those two are the same size and made
up of elements of the same size.

309
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:43,280
There's a white square there,
a bit's missing.

310
00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:48,040
Oh, yeah. How can that be?
Because some of the triangles...

311
00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,880
Have a look
at it actually happening.

312
00:25:50,880 --> 00:25:54,720
That one goes there, that one goes
there, that goes there...

313
00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:57,400
Like so, like so, like so.

314
00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:03,240
So now there's more space in there?
Yeah. That can't be possible,
can it?

315
00:26:03,240 --> 00:26:05,640
Yet my eyes tell me it is.

316
00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:09,360
It's not even longer.
It's the same, isn't it?

317
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:11,480
Yeah. Um...

318
00:26:11,480 --> 00:26:15,080
It is a cheat. That's witchcraft!
It is rather.

319
00:26:15,080 --> 00:26:19,240
Funnily enough, it was a magician
who discovered this.

320
00:26:19,240 --> 00:26:25,720
It's five blocks high, the same
number of blocks long by the look of
it. It's a very small, subtle cheat.

321
00:26:25,720 --> 00:26:30,840
The hypotenuse in the top one and
the bottom one seem to be the same,
but they are curved.

322
00:26:30,840 --> 00:26:36,080
The red triangle has a ratio
of 5 to 2, the blue triangle has
a ratio of 8 to 3,

323
00:26:36,080 --> 00:26:38,960
so the two triangles
are not similar.

324
00:26:38,960 --> 00:26:45,080
It's going like that and like that?
One has a slightly dipped line,
the other has a slightly "up" line.

325
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:49,200
The eye assumes they're straight
and is puzzled by that gap.

326
00:26:49,200 --> 00:26:53,560
We thought you'd like that. It's
quite interesting. I quite like it.

327
00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,600
It's Curry's Paradox.
It's simply a trick.

328
00:26:56,600 --> 00:27:00,720
The gap appears because the
hypotenuse is imperceptibly bent.

329
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:06,120
All of which brings...
Curry's Paradox? Yeah.
Should you buy the insurance?

330
00:27:06,120 --> 00:27:09,120
LAUGHTER

331
00:27:09,120 --> 00:27:14,440
Or just risk it?
All of which brings us squarely
up against General Ignorance,

332
00:27:14,440 --> 00:27:18,920
so fingers on buzzers. What's
the best place to punch a shark?

333
00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:21,560
In a pub.

334
00:27:23,320 --> 00:27:29,200
In a pub after
loads of pork scratchings
when he's really dehydrated

335
00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:35,720
and then you look really hard
and people who aren't sharks go,
"Don't want to mess with him!"

336
00:27:35,720 --> 00:27:38,280
In the eye. In the eye is right.

337
00:27:38,280 --> 00:27:44,880
A lot of people think the nose.
They may be confusing it with dogs,
but the eye is the best place.

338
00:27:44,880 --> 00:27:51,080
The eye or the gill. More people in
the world are bitten by New Yorkers
every year than they are by sharks.

339
00:27:51,080 --> 00:27:53,920
Not in the water, though!

340
00:27:53,920 --> 00:27:59,480
You have to take into account
the relative seriousness
of that event. Well, no, actually.

341
00:27:59,480 --> 00:28:04,120
81% of victims attacked and bitten
by sharks suffered minor injuries.

342
00:28:04,120 --> 00:28:07,800
How many New Yorkers a year bite
someone's leg off?

343
00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:11,840
I don't know, but they may cause
rabies and other hideous diseases.

344
00:28:11,840 --> 00:28:17,800
Oh, well... Certainly more people
are killed in America
by lavatory accidents than sharks.

345
00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:23,120
What saddens me
is 120 million sharks every year
are killed by us human beings.

346
00:28:23,120 --> 00:28:28,560
For their fins. Just for their
bloody fins! Just for what? Fins.
Shark fin soup.

347
00:28:28,560 --> 00:28:33,400
The rest of their body
is thrown in the water.
A shark fin is tasteless as well.

348
00:28:33,400 --> 00:28:37,440
Chicken stock is added to it to
give it flavour. But I hate sharks.

349
00:28:37,440 --> 00:28:42,600
They're beautiful animals.
They don't harm anybody.
Because you find them ugly?

350
00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:46,080
I think they're scary.
They're incredibly scary.

351
00:28:46,080 --> 00:28:50,600
Every cell in my body, when
I see that, says, "It is the enemy!"

352
00:28:50,600 --> 00:28:55,640
They've got far more reason
to be scared of a human
than a human has of a shark.

353
00:28:55,640 --> 00:29:00,560
Most mammals see human beings
in the same way.
Look at the miracle of their teeth!

354
00:29:00,560 --> 00:29:04,640
That's extraordinary. They have rows
of teeth. Their teeth go backwards.

355
00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:08,640
They bite, they fall out and the
next one literally comes forward.

356
00:29:08,640 --> 00:29:11,760
They've got a conveyor belt
of rows of teeth.

357
00:29:11,760 --> 00:29:17,840
More impressive than that, Stephen,
is how she's managed
to do her lipstick under water.

358
00:29:17,840 --> 00:29:20,280
It is rather. Very pretty.

359
00:29:20,280 --> 00:29:25,560
Your talk of razor-sharp teeth on
a conveyor belt is making them sound
quite sweet(!)

360
00:29:27,560 --> 00:29:33,960
A shark's nose is a shade too close
to its mouth to go jabbing around
there, so go for the gills or eyes.

361
00:29:33,960 --> 00:29:36,200
How many legs does an octopus have?

362
00:29:36,200 --> 00:29:39,040
Oh, I mean... Ahh! Ahh!

363
00:29:39,040 --> 00:29:43,680
The clue is in "octo". Does it vary
depending on the breed? Two.

364
00:29:43,680 --> 00:29:47,240
Two legs is the right answer.
I saw one in panto.

365
00:29:47,240 --> 00:29:50,200
APPLAUSE

366
00:29:50,200 --> 00:29:55,440
That's to say, when octopuses move
around on the bottom of the ocean,

367
00:29:55,440 --> 00:29:58,760
they use two of their tentacles
for ambulatory gait

368
00:29:58,760 --> 00:30:05,600
and the other four they use for
holding food, so they could be said
to have two legs and six arms.

369
00:30:05,600 --> 00:30:09,120
How much of the moon can you see
from the Ea-arth?

370
00:30:09,120 --> 00:30:11,600
LAUGHTER

371
00:30:12,840 --> 00:30:15,040
Well...

372
00:30:16,040 --> 00:30:18,360
You can see one side of it.

373
00:30:18,360 --> 00:30:24,280
Yes. There is this strange thing
called libration which is like
vibration beginning with an L.

374
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:28,680
It's a thing that was noted by quite
a few of the early astronomers.

375
00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:34,840
Can I say... Sorry, Stephen,
but if that's an acceptable way
of defining a word...

376
00:30:34,840 --> 00:30:39,960
What? "Libration - it's like
vibration, but beginning with an L."

377
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:45,800
Just so you could picture it
in your heads. Is that bad? I was
with you already with "libration".

378
00:30:45,800 --> 00:30:49,320
I thought you might have heard it
as "libation".

379
00:30:49,320 --> 00:30:54,960
What does it mean? I was about
to tell you, then somebody came
and said... It wasn't me!

380
00:30:54,960 --> 00:30:58,000
I'll tell you.
You get this jiggling effect.

381
00:30:58,000 --> 00:31:03,120
Basically, you can see about 59% of
the surface of the moon from Earth.
At one time?

382
00:31:03,120 --> 00:31:07,280
Obviously, when it's a new moon
or whatever, it's a lot less,

383
00:31:07,280 --> 00:31:11,360
but you can see 59% of the surface,
rather than just 50.

384
00:31:11,360 --> 00:31:15,520
And that cosmic wobble brings us
to the end of another QI show.

385
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:19,560
It's time to check the form and see
what scores we're dealing with.

386
00:31:19,560 --> 00:31:23,560
It's absolutely fascinating.
It couldn't be "fascinating-er"!

387
00:31:23,560 --> 00:31:27,880
We have a tie, would you believe it,
for third place -

388
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:31,680
Rob and Johnny on plus two!

389
00:31:31,680 --> 00:31:34,400
APPLAUSE

390
00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:41,280
Well, in second place, of course,
with four points,

391
00:31:41,280 --> 00:31:43,600
is David Mitchell!

392
00:31:43,600 --> 00:31:46,040
APPLAUSE

393
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:49,080
And it's 21 points for Alan Davies!
Thank you.

394
00:31:49,080 --> 00:31:51,120
CHEERING

395
00:31:56,320 --> 00:32:00,160
And that's all from
this geometrical edition of QI,

396
00:32:00,160 --> 00:32:04,280
so it's good night from Johnny,
Rob, David, Alan and me. Good night.

397
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:06,960
APPLAUSE

398
00:32:21,960 --> 00:32:26,000
Subtitles by Subtext
for Red Bee Media Ltd 2010

399
00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:29,040
Email subtitling@bbc.co.uk