1 00:00:02,600 --> 00:00:08,480 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:25,840 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 3 00:00:28,960 --> 00:00:30,840 Hello! 4 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:33,600 Good evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, 5 00:00:33,600 --> 00:00:35,160 good evening, good evening, 6 00:00:35,160 --> 00:00:38,720 good evening and welcome to QI, which tonight is a tissue of lies. 7 00:00:38,720 --> 00:00:44,040 Let's meet our perfidious panel - the duke of deception, Adam Hills. 8 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:52,520 The duchess of dissembling, Sara Pascoe. 9 00:00:55,160 --> 00:00:59,360 The marquis of mendacity, Jack Whitehall. 10 00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:06,720 And with his pants on fire, Alan Davies. 11 00:01:11,800 --> 00:01:16,840 Our buzzers this evening are charged with enigmatic mystery. 12 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:18,080 Adam goes... 13 00:01:18,080 --> 00:01:21,280 MUSIC: THE X-FILES THEME 14 00:01:21,280 --> 00:01:22,720 Sara goes... 15 00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:25,960 MUSIC: TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED THEME 16 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:28,880 Jack goes... 17 00:01:28,880 --> 00:01:31,920 MUSIC: THE TWILIGHT ZONE THEME 18 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:34,920 Alan goes... 19 00:01:34,920 --> 00:01:37,600 'I don't believe it!' 20 00:01:39,440 --> 00:01:42,160 So, before we start, remember that I have hidden 21 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:45,560 a lavatory inside one of the questions, all right? 22 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:47,560 CASH REGISTER RINGS 23 00:01:47,560 --> 00:01:49,520 TOILET FLUSHES 24 00:01:49,520 --> 00:01:52,640 Because it's the L series, one of the questions involves a lavatory. 25 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,040 And if you think you've spotted which it is, 26 00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:57,080 you wave your penny and spend it. 27 00:01:57,080 --> 00:02:00,520 - Ah. - You spend your penny. All right. Let's start with a lark. 28 00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:02,720 We like to do larks on the L series. 29 00:02:02,720 --> 00:02:05,440 I'm going to show you how your senses can deceive. 30 00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:09,880 So, Alan and Jack, you should each have a rubber hand 31 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,320 and a little grey wooden partition. 32 00:02:12,320 --> 00:02:15,280 And Alan will explain and Jack will explain it. 33 00:02:15,280 --> 00:02:18,040 I'm not quite au fait with prosthetics, 34 00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:19,920 but I'll give it a crack(!) 35 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:22,320 Hold my hand here. 36 00:02:22,320 --> 00:02:23,520 That's it. 37 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:25,160 You can stand up, Jack, if you like. 38 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,520 I've forgotten what I'm doing here. This goes here. 39 00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:29,280 Yeah, like that. 40 00:02:29,280 --> 00:02:33,440 OK. What you've got here is a perfectly obvious real hand, 41 00:02:33,440 --> 00:02:36,400 your right hands, and a perfectly obvious fake hand. 42 00:02:36,400 --> 00:02:38,280 And you've each got a brush. 43 00:02:38,280 --> 00:02:42,120 So, all I want you to do is brush each hand sort of simultaneously, 44 00:02:42,120 --> 00:02:45,080 and what you should feel, Adam and Sara... 45 00:02:45,080 --> 00:02:47,520 Excruciating pain! 46 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:52,000 Jab hard into the hand until they roar! 47 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,560 Sara, scream! 48 00:02:53,560 --> 00:02:57,400 - We'll come to that. For the moment, just a gentle rubbing. - SARA: OK. 49 00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:00,480 - Eventually... - This hand will fall off. 50 00:03:01,600 --> 00:03:04,240 Eventually, you will feel in the rubber hand 51 00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,400 the same sensation you feel in your real hand. 52 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,880 - Which seems extraordinary... - Yeah? - ..but you will. 53 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:12,240 - And let me know when you do. - SARA: OK. 54 00:03:12,240 --> 00:03:14,040 It may not have happened yet. 55 00:03:14,040 --> 00:03:17,560 - Then you will urinate. - You have to keep going. - I'm sorry. 56 00:03:17,560 --> 00:03:22,240 - You have to keep going. - I'm keeping going, I'm keeping going! 57 00:03:22,240 --> 00:03:24,200 I am now starting to feel that this is my hand. 58 00:03:24,200 --> 00:03:25,600 That's it, that's what happens. 59 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,320 I'm having trouble distinguishing. 60 00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:29,360 - Are you not, Sara? - No. - Keep going, Alan. 61 00:03:29,360 --> 00:03:31,200 - ADAM: Oh, that's nice. - You like? - Yeah. 62 00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:34,240 - So you can feel that in the rubber hand? - Lower. Definitely. Lower. 63 00:03:34,240 --> 00:03:37,240 You play your cards right, might get a happy ending with this. 64 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:40,200 - You're not feeling anything, Sara? - It feels very much like my hand... 65 00:03:40,200 --> 00:03:43,240 - Oh, it now does feel like your hand? - No, my hand feels like my hand. 66 00:03:43,240 --> 00:03:44,840 - Well, that would do, yes. - Yeah. 67 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:47,320 My hand has never felt more like it belongs to me. 68 00:03:47,320 --> 00:03:49,960 - I'm going faster. - I think that will help. 69 00:03:49,960 --> 00:03:51,760 OK. 70 00:03:51,760 --> 00:03:53,480 OK, I've got it, I've got it! 71 00:03:53,480 --> 00:03:55,680 - You've got it. - I've got it. I've got it. 72 00:03:55,680 --> 00:03:57,920 Faster is better, keep up the speed. 73 00:03:59,600 --> 00:04:01,160 Right. 74 00:04:01,160 --> 00:04:04,240 It's happening now! It's my hand! It's my hand! 75 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:06,680 - It really does feel like it. - It's my hand now. 76 00:04:06,680 --> 00:04:09,480 It's bizarre, isn't it? It's genuinely bizarre. 77 00:04:09,480 --> 00:04:12,480 - And now you can get out the other brush. - What? - What? 78 00:04:12,480 --> 00:04:14,640 They've got... 79 00:04:14,640 --> 00:04:16,480 SHE SHRIEKS 80 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:19,280 MUSIC: THE TWILIGHT ZONE THEME 81 00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:21,000 That's amazing, isn't it? 82 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,840 It is amazing, because I didn't believe it was going to happen. 83 00:04:23,840 --> 00:04:26,320 That's what's so good - you really didn't believe. 84 00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:29,080 It doesn't matter how much you know your hand is fake, 85 00:04:29,080 --> 00:04:32,160 it doesn't matter how much you know it's rubber, the effect works. 86 00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:34,160 You see it, you see that it's a clear fake, 87 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:36,480 but, extraordinary, the brain overrides 88 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:39,840 what it knows with what it feels. That is to say, the cognitive side. 89 00:04:39,840 --> 00:04:43,160 That's not that he's just next to a slightly mal-coordinated 90 00:04:43,160 --> 00:04:45,160 man-child with a rubber hammer. 91 00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:47,400 We can show you a replay of Adam's reaction here, 92 00:04:47,400 --> 00:04:50,640 because we've actually got it here. If you watch this, here. 93 00:04:50,640 --> 00:04:52,720 Oh, that shirt is awful. 94 00:04:54,040 --> 00:04:56,600 That is...that is genuine. 95 00:04:59,320 --> 00:05:02,320 It's made all the more extraordinary by the fact, of course 96 00:05:02,320 --> 00:05:05,320 you, as is well known, have a prosthetic foot. 97 00:05:05,320 --> 00:05:06,720 I do, I do indeed. 98 00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:09,520 And so you are used to all the cliches there are 99 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,800 about prosthesis and about phantom limbs and all the rest of it. 100 00:05:12,800 --> 00:05:18,040 - Indeed. I have a strict, can I take this... - Yeah, you can put that away, do. - No, I meant can I take it home? 101 00:05:19,360 --> 00:05:22,680 I have a strange thing with my prosthetic that I've found that I do, 102 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:27,160 if I'm, if I stub my toe, I will still stop and go, "Ow!" 103 00:05:27,160 --> 00:05:32,640 I will actually loudly say ouch. And then realise, oh, it's the prosthetic, it didn't actually hurt. 104 00:05:32,640 --> 00:05:35,600 I'm conditioned that when you stub your toe, you yell out. 105 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:38,000 And as you well know, and from war time, 106 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:41,280 the screams of pain people had, once they'd been amputated, 107 00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:42,960 in the limbs that no longer existed, 108 00:05:42,960 --> 00:05:44,360 they swore that their shins... 109 00:05:44,360 --> 00:05:46,480 And having itches in them you can't scratch. 110 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:48,880 I can't imagine anything more agonising than having 111 00:05:48,880 --> 00:05:50,880 an itch in something you can't scratch. 112 00:05:50,880 --> 00:05:54,480 I met this guy who...in America, and he was a Vietnam veteran, 113 00:05:54,480 --> 00:05:57,480 - and he knew someone who'd lost both legs. - Yeah. 114 00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,040 And he went to see him in hospital and he said, 115 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:02,440 "I still haven't had sex with my wife." 116 00:06:02,440 --> 00:06:04,200 He said, "Why? Why not?" 117 00:06:04,200 --> 00:06:07,040 He said, "Oh, I haven't got any legs now, I feel awkward. 118 00:06:07,040 --> 00:06:09,080 "I don't really, you know..." 119 00:06:09,080 --> 00:06:11,000 He said, "Well, you should just do it." 120 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,720 So he really encouraged him to do it. 121 00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,920 And then he went back to see him, and he had a big smile on his face. 122 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:19,200 And he said, "So, did you do the thing?" And he said, "Yeah. 123 00:06:19,200 --> 00:06:23,160 "And with no legs, you can get right on up there." 124 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:28,360 Well... 125 00:06:31,600 --> 00:06:34,920 It's one of the unexpected advantages. 126 00:06:34,920 --> 00:06:37,760 - Talk about every cloud. - There you go. 127 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:40,600 I am cutting off my legs this evening. 128 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,880 Oh! Oh, goodness me. 129 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:46,520 But the point is, the brain has a mental map of the body from birth 130 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:49,600 and even if that map is distorted by an amputation, 131 00:06:49,600 --> 00:06:53,800 it takes a lot for the brain to lose its sense of where everything is. 132 00:06:53,800 --> 00:06:56,160 It can be fooled, as the rubber hand showed you. 133 00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:58,800 I remember once being in bed with my girlfriend 134 00:06:58,800 --> 00:07:01,240 and doing that thing where I fell asleep on my arm. 135 00:07:01,240 --> 00:07:03,480 And of course your arm goes numb. 136 00:07:03,480 --> 00:07:07,280 And I rolled then over onto my back and my arm fell across my stomach. 137 00:07:07,280 --> 00:07:10,840 But because it was numb, I actually thought it was her arm on my stomach. 138 00:07:10,840 --> 00:07:12,720 And I actually started stroking it. 139 00:07:13,920 --> 00:07:15,920 Aww! How sweet. 140 00:07:15,920 --> 00:07:19,360 And it was, but I then kind of realised that it wasn't her arm, 141 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:21,880 it didn't feel like her arm. It was... 142 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,720 "Who the hell's in the bed with me?" 143 00:07:26,720 --> 00:07:28,920 I'm putting the light on! 144 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:34,560 Well that extraordinary rubber hand illusion proves that even our own senses can tell us porkies. 145 00:07:34,560 --> 00:07:37,800 And speaking of porkies, what's the point of pink? 146 00:07:37,800 --> 00:07:41,480 Oh, you mean in terms of like a gender colour? 147 00:07:41,480 --> 00:07:45,160 This isn't to do with gender, it's purely to do with the colour itself. 148 00:07:45,160 --> 00:07:48,680 In printing, pink, or at least a reddy pink, has a particular name. 149 00:07:48,680 --> 00:07:50,120 If I was to say CYMK. 150 00:07:50,120 --> 00:07:51,440 Magenta? 151 00:07:51,440 --> 00:07:54,520 - Magenta is the right answer! - Get in! 152 00:07:54,520 --> 00:07:56,240 APPLAUSE 153 00:08:00,560 --> 00:08:04,120 C is for Cyan, which is probably the blue nearest us, as it were, 154 00:08:04,120 --> 00:08:05,360 the six o'clock blue. 155 00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:09,560 M for Magenta, Y for Yellow and K is the Black, CMYK. 156 00:08:09,560 --> 00:08:14,480 But magenta is between blue and red, and that's to say between the lowest wavelength of visible light 157 00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:18,200 and the highest wavelength of visible light, which is sort of not possible. 158 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:22,520 - So it's a kind of can't-really-exist colour, and yet it does. - Yes, it does! 159 00:08:22,520 --> 00:08:26,800 It's what you might call I suppose, a pigment of the imagination! 160 00:08:26,800 --> 00:08:30,200 - GROANS - Which is nice. Which is nice. 161 00:08:30,200 --> 00:08:32,000 - So, in terms of the senses lying... - Yeah. 162 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:36,200 - Our eyes and colour is a bit like that, because the world doesn't look like this. - No. Not in the least. 163 00:08:36,200 --> 00:08:40,440 - We have cones and rods in our eyes. - Mm-hm. - And rods deal with darkness and light, black to white, 164 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:43,680 and the cones deal with colour. So dogs have two cones, 165 00:08:43,680 --> 00:08:46,240 so they can, they're not colour blind, 166 00:08:46,240 --> 00:08:50,640 - but they see a lot less colour than we do in the world, because we have three. But birds have four! - Yes. 167 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:52,320 They can see ultraviolet rays. 168 00:08:52,320 --> 00:08:55,320 Was it the Six Million...? Yeah, the Six Million Dollar Man, when 169 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,600 Steve Austin, it would obviously cost a lot more now than six million... 170 00:08:58,600 --> 00:09:00,200 Oh, I'd say. 171 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:01,600 Steve Austin got a bionic eye... 172 00:09:01,600 --> 00:09:02,680 Lee Majors, yes. 173 00:09:02,680 --> 00:09:05,480 And all they gave him, really, was a zoom facility. 174 00:09:05,480 --> 00:09:07,200 "Dun-dun-dun," exactly. 175 00:09:07,200 --> 00:09:09,040 So he could see things further away. 176 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:11,040 That is pretty feeble. 177 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,040 If they'd given him about eight extra cones... 178 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,800 That's true! 179 00:09:14,800 --> 00:09:18,400 - He could have seen so much... - How could they have shown that to us? - X-rays. 180 00:09:18,400 --> 00:09:21,720 Now we have the Instagram eye and he could make it all sepia and old-fashioned. 181 00:09:21,720 --> 00:09:23,040 LAUGHTER 182 00:09:23,040 --> 00:09:26,000 Our eyes still only have three cones to watch him seeing something so 183 00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,440 it would still look to our eyes... 184 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:28,880 Extremely good point. 185 00:09:28,880 --> 00:09:32,800 He'd have needed a sidekick to say "But what can you see?" 186 00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:36,640 "Like a bird! I can see ultraviolet light, which is where the villain is revealed by this!" 187 00:09:36,640 --> 00:09:39,360 "Let me run over there, fast." 188 00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:42,440 And also, while we're on the subject of the Bionic Man, 189 00:09:42,440 --> 00:09:46,160 he had one leg that was really good and yet they showed him 190 00:09:46,160 --> 00:09:49,520 running at 70 when the reality was he would have been 191 00:09:49,520 --> 00:09:53,480 hopping at 70, because the other leg would have just been destroyed by 192 00:09:53,480 --> 00:09:58,560 the speed at which, biomechanically, it would have been unable to cope. 193 00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:00,440 It would have ruined my childhood. 194 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:03,560 - They would have been better off if they'd taken off both legs... - Yeah! 195 00:10:03,560 --> 00:10:06,240 - Given him two bionic legs. - Given him wheels, Adam, wheels! 196 00:10:07,760 --> 00:10:09,440 And the sex would have been amazing. 197 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:11,480 LAUGHTER 198 00:10:11,480 --> 00:10:12,520 Bionic sex. 199 00:10:12,520 --> 00:10:15,680 There was the Bionic Woman, Lindsay Wagner, and she had ears, didn't she? 200 00:10:15,680 --> 00:10:17,040 She could hear anything. 201 00:10:17,040 --> 00:10:21,040 - Lee Majors, Lindsay Wagner. Well before anybody in this audience was born. - Fictional people. 202 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:23,600 - Yes, they were totally madey-uppy. - Yes, good. 203 00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:26,840 Before your time as well, oh, God, we feel so old, don't we? 204 00:10:26,840 --> 00:10:31,160 - Yeah, but it was great being in the '70s. - It was, yeah. We could go to university for free. 205 00:10:31,160 --> 00:10:32,520 MOCKING LAUGH 206 00:10:34,800 --> 00:10:37,200 APPLAUSE 207 00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:46,120 But anyway, the fact is, yeah, magenta doesn't really exist and yet it does, for our eyes. 208 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:50,760 There's also a special kind of pink which is known as Baker-Miller Pink, which is 209 00:10:50,760 --> 00:10:54,360 you take a gallon of white paint and a pint of red paint and you 210 00:10:54,360 --> 00:10:57,400 come up with what's in the middle, a sort of bubble-gum coloured pink. 211 00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:58,440 It's pretty, isn't it? 212 00:10:58,440 --> 00:11:02,880 What's interesting about that is that it was generally thought by psychologists and others 213 00:11:02,880 --> 00:11:08,800 to create a feeling of passivity, and so was used in prisons and mental asylums 214 00:11:08,800 --> 00:11:11,040 and was known as "drunk tank pink". 215 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,120 That looks like a fun prison, to be honest. 216 00:11:13,120 --> 00:11:14,480 LAUGHTER 217 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,680 - I would definitely go there. - Gay prison! 218 00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:21,040 So, the other thing they did, some American sporting teams thought 219 00:11:21,040 --> 00:11:25,400 that, well, this is true about this pink, they changed their visitors' 220 00:11:25,400 --> 00:11:30,200 changing rooms to pink, in order to make the visiting teams more passive. 221 00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,680 Which is kind of cheating, really, isn't it? 222 00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:34,880 - It is kind of cheating. - It's not very sporting. 223 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:38,440 So university sporting rules in America now mean you can change 224 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:42,040 any changing room's colour as long as your own is the same colour, 225 00:11:42,040 --> 00:11:44,000 to stop that advantage. If it is an advantage. 226 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,560 It would be interesting to see how much difference it makes, 227 00:11:46,560 --> 00:11:48,640 because surely this is an incremental thing. 228 00:11:48,640 --> 00:11:50,000 You are completely right. 229 00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,760 The fact is that apparently, even after half an hour, 230 00:11:52,760 --> 00:11:56,640 people get used to it, and if they've been in a prison or a drunk tank before 231 00:11:56,640 --> 00:12:01,160 - it reminds them of the drunk tank and they get angry and more aggressive. - It's associative, OK. 232 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:02,960 So it is really of no use whatsoever. 233 00:12:02,960 --> 00:12:06,520 That's it, if you see pink elephants they might not really be there, 234 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:08,400 it seems to be an imaginary colour. 235 00:12:08,400 --> 00:12:11,160 Which room in the house would you keep these in? 236 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,400 MUSIC: TWILIGHT ZONE THEME 237 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,400 Oh, just push it. In the library. 238 00:12:15,400 --> 00:12:17,480 ALARM BLARES 239 00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:21,280 Adam is about to score points, yes! 240 00:12:21,280 --> 00:12:23,600 - Really? - Yeah. 241 00:12:23,600 --> 00:12:25,360 Yeah! 242 00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:29,640 Very good. 243 00:12:29,640 --> 00:12:32,360 That's the penny well spent. 244 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,960 And can I just point out, in Australia, that's 2.50. 245 00:12:34,960 --> 00:12:38,400 - What is that game with the pennies, odd and even... - Two up. - Two up. 246 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:39,920 Two up, that's right. 247 00:12:39,920 --> 00:12:44,080 - It's a... - It's a betting game. - It's a betting game but it's only played one day a year. - That's right. 248 00:12:44,080 --> 00:12:45,880 It's only played on ANZAC Day 249 00:12:45,880 --> 00:12:49,920 - and it's played with pennies, I think. - That's right. Real, old-fashioned pennies. 250 00:12:49,920 --> 00:12:54,440 You flip them up in the air and you bet on whether you get two heads, two tails or a head and a tail. 251 00:12:54,440 --> 00:12:57,560 If you win a lot of money you're allowed to leave the room 252 00:12:57,560 --> 00:13:00,760 and you have half an hour's grace before someone would chase you, 253 00:13:00,760 --> 00:13:03,120 club you over the head and steal your winnings. 254 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,520 - It being Australia. - Yeah. 255 00:13:05,720 --> 00:13:10,040 - In the nicest possible way. - Yeah, and the only day that it's allowed to be played now, 256 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:12,840 it's illegal any time of the year, except on ANZAC Day. 257 00:13:12,840 --> 00:13:15,560 Well, if we have a look at the picture again, 258 00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:18,400 those are actually English literature books, and this, 259 00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:23,080 I'm afraid, is a French chamber pot, or commode if you prefer. 260 00:13:23,080 --> 00:13:26,800 And they liked to shit on us and our literature in one go. 261 00:13:26,800 --> 00:13:29,480 Oh, just when you think they can't do anything else. 262 00:13:29,480 --> 00:13:32,480 When you open the lid, does it go, "Ugh"? 263 00:13:33,800 --> 00:13:35,840 "I shit on you." Exactly. 264 00:13:35,840 --> 00:13:40,480 "Because I can't beat you in a war, I will poo on your books." 265 00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:45,080 You open the lid and it goes, # Boy, boy for sale. # 266 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:48,480 But perhaps the most impressive invention in recent times, 267 00:13:48,480 --> 00:13:51,000 - for your lavatorial wants... - The helicopter. 268 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:55,720 Um, well... The Gotta Go Briefcase. It's Japanese, of course. 269 00:13:57,680 --> 00:14:00,320 How much better do you get than that? 270 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:03,720 It's just simply superb. It's got everything you could possibly want, 271 00:14:03,720 --> 00:14:05,880 including a newspaper to leaf through 272 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:07,320 if your easement is taking time. 273 00:14:07,320 --> 00:14:10,160 I've always felt really sad when I leave a toilet, like, 274 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:13,920 "Oh, we've become such good friends." I wish I could just pack it up and carry it away(!) 275 00:14:13,920 --> 00:14:16,440 - Now I can. - It's got a generously equipped sealing lid. 276 00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,160 You can quietly and discreetly go about your personal business 277 00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:21,760 anywhere you please, with a fold-out leather privacy panel, 278 00:14:21,760 --> 00:14:25,680 - which tucks away neatly to the side. - Yeah, it looks like it hides you completely, that panel. 279 00:14:25,680 --> 00:14:29,280 - A small tray with... - "What's that suitcase just sitting there?" 280 00:14:29,280 --> 00:14:31,760 It's got a small tray with a cup-holder. 281 00:14:31,760 --> 00:14:34,920 - Oh, great, so I don't even have to throw away my drink? - A cup-holder. 282 00:14:34,920 --> 00:14:37,200 That's like Homer Simpson, 283 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:39,920 isn't it? Do you remember that episode where he bought a huge RV? 284 00:14:39,920 --> 00:14:42,520 And Marge said, "Oh, Homer!" and he said, 285 00:14:42,520 --> 00:14:45,960 "But, Marge, it's got six cup-holders! SIX!" 286 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:48,040 Men like cup-holders. 287 00:14:48,040 --> 00:14:50,000 There's just something so great about them. 288 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:52,600 - It's got a vanity mirror. - I like the leather finish. 289 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,200 Yeah, refillable hand-sanitising dispenser. 290 00:14:55,200 --> 00:14:57,160 Maximum weight capacity is 80 kilos. 291 00:14:57,160 --> 00:15:00,320 "Exceeding the recommended weight will void all warranties..." 292 00:15:00,320 --> 00:15:03,600 80 kilos?! What are you going to get, an elephant to shit in it?! 293 00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:05,480 - I know. - How are you going to get 80 kilos?! 294 00:15:05,480 --> 00:15:08,480 - I weigh less than 80 kilos. - It does seem extraordinary. 295 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,600 "I really need to get the... 296 00:15:10,600 --> 00:15:12,760 "I'm going to exceed the limit!" 297 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:16,720 "It may result in rupture of waste tank, 298 00:15:16,720 --> 00:15:19,760 "possible bacteria contamination of briefcase contents 299 00:15:19,760 --> 00:15:23,280 "and massive stench." So you don't want to do that. 300 00:15:23,280 --> 00:15:25,600 I'm assuming you haven't emptied it for a year. 301 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:27,880 Also, you would have two suitcases in meetings. 302 00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:30,760 Everyone would be like, "Derek, why have you got two suitcases?" 303 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:31,920 If you got it wrong... 304 00:15:31,920 --> 00:15:34,640 "No reason." And then he just hides behind the leather panel. 305 00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,680 If you accidentally went, "I've been through the figures and... Oops!" 306 00:15:37,680 --> 00:15:41,280 Massive stench! Massive stench! 307 00:15:42,760 --> 00:15:45,240 - Oh, dear. - "How did the meeting go?" 308 00:15:45,240 --> 00:15:47,560 "Oh, it was going fine until I got the bog out." 309 00:15:47,560 --> 00:15:50,560 Alternatively, you go the other way. 310 00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,400 "Thanks for letting me use your toilet briefcase." 311 00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:55,600 "Oh, I don't have a toilet briefcase." 312 00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:59,280 I ought to say that the 80 kilos includes the person sitting on it. 313 00:15:59,280 --> 00:16:00,680 Oh, right. 314 00:16:00,680 --> 00:16:03,280 I would break it, I've a horrible feeling. 315 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:07,240 That changes everything. 316 00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:10,320 Maybe the sell it to banker-wankers in the City, 317 00:16:10,320 --> 00:16:13,840 with the boast of it has an amazing surface to do cocaine off as well. 318 00:16:13,840 --> 00:16:16,240 - When you open it up. - It would be perfect. 319 00:16:16,240 --> 00:16:20,760 Absolutely, with the little dimples, you could snort out of the little leather dimples. 320 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:23,480 Anyway, that's the Gotta Go Briefcase. 321 00:16:23,480 --> 00:16:26,560 And it's yours, I'm sure, for a very reasonable price. 322 00:16:26,560 --> 00:16:31,920 If that question left a bad smell, why is the noseless lemur so badly named? 323 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:35,240 MUSIC: X-FILES THEME TUNE 324 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,680 I am going to take a punt and say it's not a lemur. 325 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:41,640 Oh! You're brilliant. We were hoping you'd say it has, actually, got a nose, 326 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:47,920 - in which case it's badly named, but you're right. - What, ever? - Never was, never will be. In fact it is a fish. 327 00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:50,120 - It's pretty... - What? 328 00:16:50,120 --> 00:16:52,720 Pretty difficult, you'd think to confuse a lemur and a fish. 329 00:16:52,720 --> 00:16:56,560 You'd think that was a map of Madagascar, where lemurs come from, 330 00:16:56,560 --> 00:17:00,960 but in fact that is the fossil, and for a very long time it was considered to be a lemur 331 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:04,080 and it was known as Scalabrini's noseless lemur. 332 00:17:04,080 --> 00:17:07,600 Pedro Scalabrini was an Italian born Argentinian naturalist. 333 00:17:07,600 --> 00:17:12,640 In 1898, he gave a fossil fragment to a palaeontologist called Florentino Ameghino, 334 00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:17,920 who was so patriotic in his Argentinian-ness, that he hated the fact that particularly 335 00:17:17,920 --> 00:17:22,600 Charles Darwin had said that all primates originated in Africa. 336 00:17:22,600 --> 00:17:24,240 Which we now know to be true. 337 00:17:24,240 --> 00:17:26,560 And a lemur is a primate, 338 00:17:26,560 --> 00:17:28,880 lemurs only come from Madagascar, which was shaved 339 00:17:28,880 --> 00:17:32,720 off from the mainland of Africa many, many millions of years ago. 340 00:17:32,720 --> 00:17:34,760 There's an aye-aye. Wonderful lemur. 341 00:17:34,760 --> 00:17:38,240 That's an English footballer just before a penalty shoot-out. 342 00:17:38,240 --> 00:17:40,080 LAUGHTER 343 00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:43,280 Desperately afraid. 344 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,680 "Who wants to take one?" 345 00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:51,400 So he tried to prove, Ameghino, that lemurs existed in South America 346 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,080 in pre-Columbian times, which they didn't. 347 00:17:54,080 --> 00:17:58,600 It turned out in 2012 that it was, in fact, an extinct fish. 348 00:17:58,600 --> 00:18:02,400 Do you know, that picture of the lemur, the lemur's face there, 349 00:18:02,400 --> 00:18:05,960 I'm assuming that's what I would look like if I was using the toilet briefcase. 350 00:18:05,960 --> 00:18:08,400 Those perfectly round eyes are so beautiful. 351 00:18:08,400 --> 00:18:11,240 That's after the massive stench. 352 00:18:13,240 --> 00:18:16,760 Yeah. They are marvellous creatures. Well, talking of paleontological things, 353 00:18:16,760 --> 00:18:21,880 the first platypus that was ever seen by Western man, nobody believed. They thought it... 354 00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:26,160 No. But we did have a habit of explorers making up monsters 355 00:18:26,160 --> 00:18:29,600 - and drawing pictures in the 16th and 17th century. - We certainly did. - Yes. 356 00:18:29,600 --> 00:18:33,920 And that was considered an example of an obvious and ridiculous hoax. 357 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:34,960 How could that be? 358 00:18:34,960 --> 00:18:37,360 And George Shaw, who was the naturalist, 359 00:18:37,360 --> 00:18:39,760 examined it minutely for stitch marks around the beak, 360 00:18:39,760 --> 00:18:42,680 because he could not believe that such, no-one could believe... 361 00:18:42,680 --> 00:18:44,320 But even when you see them in real life, 362 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:47,840 - I went to see them in Melbourne, and you just can't believe... - They're hilarious. 363 00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:50,560 You watch them for ages going "You don't make any sense!" 364 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:54,400 - All the bits of you! - Their mouths look like they belong in a Japanese briefcase. 365 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:59,320 - They do. They're so charming. - They're sweet. - And they're smaller than I expected. 366 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:00,640 Egg-laying mammals. 367 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:03,160 It took 30 years from the first specimen to arrive in Europe 368 00:19:03,160 --> 00:19:06,320 for people to believe that it was real. They were absolutely convinced. 369 00:19:06,320 --> 00:19:09,880 Oh, "We're not going to fall for this, But there it is. The platypus. 370 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:13,120 And do you know the first, I'm pretty sure the first kangaroo that was sent 371 00:19:13,120 --> 00:19:16,640 back to one of the British museums, they sent it back but they didn't 372 00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:21,080 give an example of how it stood, so it was mounted on all fours. 373 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:22,400 Oh, that's very believable. 374 00:19:22,400 --> 00:19:26,520 With its tiny little paws, because its front paws were like this, and its massive bum sticking up. 375 00:19:28,600 --> 00:19:32,000 Looks as if it's ready for action! 376 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,760 LAUGHTER 377 00:19:37,240 --> 00:19:39,320 Now, what's this guy on about? 378 00:19:39,320 --> 00:19:42,520 MAN SINGS GIBBERISH OVER RAP MUSIC 379 00:19:55,960 --> 00:19:59,160 That was a 1972, rather before its time, 380 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:00,800 piece of rap, 381 00:20:00,800 --> 00:20:04,720 by an incredibly famous Italian called Adriano Celentano, 382 00:20:04,720 --> 00:20:06,480 who is not known here. 383 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:08,640 He had a huge hit with this, 384 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:12,440 which is called Prisencolinensinainciusol. 385 00:20:12,440 --> 00:20:15,840 - You can see it written up and that will help you. - Oh, wow. 386 00:20:15,840 --> 00:20:19,000 Prisencolinensinainciusol 387 00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,360 in de col men seivuan 388 00:20:21,360 --> 00:20:24,440 prisencolinensinainciusol ol rait. 389 00:20:24,440 --> 00:20:27,520 Which is Italian for "Gangnam Style". 390 00:20:27,520 --> 00:20:30,760 Yeah, kind of. What it is, it's just babble. 391 00:20:30,760 --> 00:20:33,680 - Gibberish. - It's babble that is supposed to sound like English. 392 00:20:33,680 --> 00:20:36,280 To an Italian, it sounds more or less like English sounds. 393 00:20:36,280 --> 00:20:39,200 There's that famous clip of the person on Malaysia's Got Talent, 394 00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,040 where they're singing Mariah Carey, Can't Live Without You, 395 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:44,280 which is possibly the greatest song ever recorded, 396 00:20:44,280 --> 00:20:47,000 but she's heard it, clearly, through a second party 397 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,760 and doesn't know what the lyrics are, 398 00:20:48,760 --> 00:20:51,240 so she burst into the chorus and she just goes... 399 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:54,800 # Ken Lee, Ken Lee Boo, dee, boo, doutchu. # 400 00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:59,360 And she thinks it's about a guy called Ken Lee. 401 00:20:59,360 --> 00:21:00,600 Aw... 402 00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,680 Anyway, that was a huge hit in 1972. 403 00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,840 Number one in Italy and it was in the top ten in France 404 00:21:06,840 --> 00:21:08,920 and in Belgium and the Netherlands. 405 00:21:08,920 --> 00:21:11,560 It's babble that is supposed to sound like English, 406 00:21:11,560 --> 00:21:14,720 but in 2011, London-based film-makers Brian and Karl 407 00:21:14,720 --> 00:21:17,320 produced a wonderful film called Skwerl, 408 00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:19,120 which used a similar technique - 409 00:21:19,120 --> 00:21:21,880 the dialogue is actually gibberish but sounds like English. 410 00:21:21,880 --> 00:21:23,600 It's had over seven million viewers 411 00:21:23,600 --> 00:21:26,200 and we can show you a bit of it here. Run VT. 412 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:29,280 HE TALKS GIBBERISH 413 00:21:33,520 --> 00:21:35,800 CUTLERY RATTLES 414 00:21:40,400 --> 00:21:42,480 PLATES CRASH 415 00:21:43,640 --> 00:21:45,840 SHE GASPS AND SOBS 416 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:50,920 FIZZING 417 00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:58,800 You fucking asshole! 418 00:21:58,800 --> 00:22:02,080 That wasn't gibberish, but we've got them here tonight, 419 00:22:02,080 --> 00:22:04,320 Brian and Karl, thank you very much. 420 00:22:08,720 --> 00:22:11,000 One of the hardest things to do in the world 421 00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:13,080 is to talk gibberish without it becoming... 422 00:22:13,080 --> 00:22:16,320 - Did you actually learn your gibberish? - We did, yeah. - Yeah. 423 00:22:16,320 --> 00:22:19,000 Did you imagine that there was sense behind it? 424 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,360 He thinks she's forgotten his birthday, is that what this...? 425 00:22:22,360 --> 00:22:24,000 That's one interpretation. 426 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:26,800 I'm not an actor, but Fiona, who's in the film, is an actress, 427 00:22:26,800 --> 00:22:29,360 and so she needed to know what this was about, 428 00:22:29,360 --> 00:22:30,880 she needed the intentions. 429 00:22:30,880 --> 00:22:33,360 But I think it was important to kind of have a sort of a sense 430 00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:36,520 - behind what we were saying. - It was a lot like what you were talking about 431 00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:38,840 with Mariah Carey, Ken Lee and stuff. 432 00:22:38,840 --> 00:22:42,000 We sort of had the sentences and then kind of garbled them 433 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:46,560 and kind of wrote down the garble as it came out. 434 00:22:46,560 --> 00:22:48,880 I understood more words in that clip, 435 00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:52,000 though, than I did in five series of The Wire. 436 00:22:55,440 --> 00:22:58,680 - ADAM: Are you Australian? - Yeah, I'm Australian. - Yeah, I thought so. 437 00:22:58,680 --> 00:23:02,120 Because we have a similar thing that we do where we don't use words... 438 00:23:02,120 --> 00:23:05,040 - AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: - Do you think I haven't noticed? - Yeah, exactly. 439 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,920 - GASPING: - You have another thing you do, 440 00:23:07,920 --> 00:23:10,320 which is sound as if you've got heartburn. 441 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,600 For some bizarre reason. I don't know why that is. 442 00:23:20,760 --> 00:23:23,200 That's how they get the actors on Home And Away 443 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,280 to do an emotional scene - they just give them heartburn. 444 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:30,200 "Steven, the cafe's burnt...down again." 445 00:23:30,200 --> 00:23:33,800 Australians will make enough noises that could be a sentence, 446 00:23:33,800 --> 00:23:36,720 but there are no actual words in it. I'll try it. 447 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:40,120 RUNNING WORDS TOGETHER: So, OK, are you having a good night? 448 00:23:40,120 --> 00:23:42,280 Yeah, right, it's all right, man. 449 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,200 Are you enjoying your time at QI? 450 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:47,600 HE TALKS GIBBERISH 451 00:23:54,320 --> 00:23:55,520 There's also... 452 00:23:55,520 --> 00:23:58,120 I have a similar thing that I can do with posh people. 453 00:23:58,120 --> 00:24:00,800 This gentleman in the front row here... 454 00:24:00,800 --> 00:24:02,840 with the blue trousers. 455 00:24:02,840 --> 00:24:05,480 HE MUMBLES IN POSH VOICE 456 00:24:07,480 --> 00:24:09,920 Anyway, sorry, that's wonderful, Brian and Karl, 457 00:24:09,920 --> 00:24:13,960 thank you very much indeed. Thanks for joining us. 458 00:24:17,280 --> 00:24:18,680 Magnificent. 459 00:24:18,680 --> 00:24:21,520 So, time for some refreshment. Here we go. 460 00:24:21,520 --> 00:24:25,520 Let's have... You pass that there to Sara, if you would, Alan. 461 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,600 There you go. 462 00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:31,400 - There's one for you, Jack. Pass one to Adam. - Is this carrot? 463 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:35,080 And I'll have one myself. And there's one for you, Alan. 464 00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:37,880 Thank you so much. 465 00:24:37,880 --> 00:24:39,320 There you go. 466 00:24:39,320 --> 00:24:41,520 Hmm. Hmm! 467 00:24:43,880 --> 00:24:47,600 - You look as if you... - Who grew this? - You've done this before. 468 00:24:49,040 --> 00:24:51,440 - So... - You've got to make it upright first. 469 00:24:51,440 --> 00:24:53,400 Oh, right. 470 00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:56,960 Come on. Will you talk to it? 471 00:24:56,960 --> 00:25:01,600 Come here, you. Oh, you look lovely. You're so huge(!) 472 00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:05,680 I don't think I'm going to be able to manage it. 473 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:07,600 Oh, there you are, yes... 474 00:25:07,600 --> 00:25:11,600 Hey-hey! What do you think these were once used for? 475 00:25:16,920 --> 00:25:20,680 What were carrots used for, or particularly these ones on sticks? 476 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:21,960 Ones on sticks. 477 00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:23,960 Waving in tiny airplanes? 478 00:25:26,080 --> 00:25:28,760 Is it like what Gwyneth Paltrow gives her kids? 479 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,800 She probably does, yeah, they probably are. 480 00:25:31,800 --> 00:25:33,400 To see in the dark? 481 00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:35,160 ALARM BLARES 482 00:25:38,320 --> 00:25:41,400 Seeing in the dark, well, you're in the right era. 483 00:25:41,400 --> 00:25:44,760 When was it said that carrots could help you see in the dark? 484 00:25:44,760 --> 00:25:46,520 At night. 485 00:25:54,200 --> 00:25:58,400 In which period of history was it made known to people, 486 00:25:58,400 --> 00:26:00,960 this idea, which is not really true? 487 00:26:00,960 --> 00:26:03,320 The Dark Ages. Not the Dark Ages. 488 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:07,000 - When did people discover vitamins? - SARA: Yeah. 489 00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:09,400 That wasn't until the beginning of the 20th century. 490 00:26:09,400 --> 00:26:12,160 Because vitamin A is the key, it helps your eyes, doesn't it? 491 00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:13,680 Vitamin A does help your eyes. 492 00:26:13,680 --> 00:26:16,040 So it must have been around about then. 493 00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:18,360 Well, it was really... It... 494 00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:24,560 It must be so hard being a rabbit. It really... 495 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:26,920 They would never get any talking done. 496 00:26:26,920 --> 00:26:28,720 No, they wouldn't, would they? 497 00:26:28,720 --> 00:26:31,320 They'd be, "Sorry, what are you saying?" 498 00:26:31,320 --> 00:26:34,400 - "I've got a mouthful of bloody carrot." - Good God! 499 00:26:34,400 --> 00:26:37,160 The problem was, in the Second World War, there was... 500 00:26:37,160 --> 00:26:39,000 We would run out of... 501 00:26:41,400 --> 00:26:42,720 Put it away. 502 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:44,800 Concentrate, Stephen. 503 00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:49,880 Stop flapping... Oh, yes, that's what I need to do. 504 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:52,960 You look like the world's worst burlesque dancer. 505 00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:54,880 SARA: I've seen worse. 506 00:26:54,880 --> 00:26:56,760 So, in the Second World War, 507 00:26:56,760 --> 00:26:59,040 there was a very great shortage of sugar, 508 00:26:59,040 --> 00:27:01,240 and there was a big surplus of carrots, 509 00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:04,000 and so they put it about that carrots helped you see in the dark. 510 00:27:04,000 --> 00:27:05,720 I bloody love carrots, me. 511 00:27:05,720 --> 00:27:07,760 So they made sort of ice creams, as it were, 512 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,640 - out of carrots, to try and make them attractive to children. - OK. 513 00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:12,440 There is a certain amount of sugar in them. 514 00:27:12,440 --> 00:27:15,480 - They tasted a little sweet, didn't they? - Yeah, it was lovely. 515 00:27:15,480 --> 00:27:17,640 And there was a Group Captain, John Cunningham, 516 00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:20,560 who was responsible for very daring night raids over Germany, 517 00:27:20,560 --> 00:27:23,120 and they gave it out that what allowed him to do it 518 00:27:23,120 --> 00:27:25,240 was the fact that he ate carrots. 519 00:27:25,240 --> 00:27:27,960 In fact, what they were really doing was disguising the fact 520 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:32,120 - that they had on-board aircraft... - Rabbits. - ..radar. 521 00:27:32,120 --> 00:27:34,080 They had radar on board. 522 00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:35,880 They didn't want the Germans to know. 523 00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:37,480 The Germans knew we had ground radar, 524 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,480 not that we had radar on board airplanes. 525 00:27:39,480 --> 00:27:42,120 So they sold the carrot story to the Germans as well? 526 00:27:42,120 --> 00:27:44,680 That was the idea, both to get children to eat their carrots 527 00:27:44,680 --> 00:27:47,480 and maybe to get the Germans to believe that it was carrots 528 00:27:47,480 --> 00:27:50,080 that allowed our bombers to see over those... 529 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,200 Wouldn't it have been more beneficial 530 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:55,520 if they'd said the reason our pilots are so good at seeing at night 531 00:27:55,520 --> 00:27:58,840 is because they eat slightly undercooked chicken? 532 00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:03,840 You should have been working in British Intelligence. 533 00:28:03,840 --> 00:28:07,680 - POSH VOICE: - "You're just the kind of chap we need, Whitehall." 534 00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:11,160 Now, how does the "what the hell" effect work? 535 00:28:12,200 --> 00:28:14,160 MUSIC: TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED THEME 536 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:17,760 - Yes? - This is relevant to people who are dieting 537 00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:20,480 or sometimes people who have substance abuse problems 538 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:21,880 and things like that. 539 00:28:21,880 --> 00:28:24,680 So it's when you are being quite strict with yourself. 540 00:28:24,680 --> 00:28:26,800 Stop talking about me for a second, yes. 541 00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:28,960 It's when you're being very strict with yourself 542 00:28:28,960 --> 00:28:32,040 and you think you've slipped up in a slight way, so you're really hungry 543 00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:34,040 and you have a biscuit when you're on a diet 544 00:28:34,040 --> 00:28:35,840 and then you go, "I've ruined the diet now, 545 00:28:35,840 --> 00:28:38,720 "I'm going to finish that packet of biscuits and do some crack..." 546 00:28:38,720 --> 00:28:40,280 Oh, tell me about it. 547 00:28:40,280 --> 00:28:42,600 And they properly leap in and start again tomorrow. 548 00:28:42,600 --> 00:28:44,920 You're so right - you've fallen off the wagon... 549 00:28:44,920 --> 00:28:47,440 - I've done everything wrong now, I'll get a tattoo... - Yeah. 550 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:49,640 Those people who say, "I was very good yesterday, 551 00:28:49,640 --> 00:28:53,320 "I've been good today, so tomorrow - Black Forest gateau for breakfast." 552 00:28:53,320 --> 00:28:54,360 Yeah, oh. 553 00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,160 I mean, that is certainly a "what the hell" effect, 554 00:28:57,160 --> 00:28:58,760 there's no question about that. 555 00:28:58,760 --> 00:29:00,880 There is another "what the hell" effect, 556 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:03,200 but yours, I think, counts, unquestionably. 557 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,320 This is used by Dan Ariely 558 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:08,160 and his partners at Duke University in North Carolina. 559 00:29:08,160 --> 00:29:11,080 And what it describes is how, when someone has 560 00:29:11,080 --> 00:29:14,080 overcome their initial reluctance to cheat, 561 00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,680 subsequent dishonest behaviour gets easier. 562 00:29:16,680 --> 00:29:19,760 And he tested this with college students who were solving 563 00:29:19,760 --> 00:29:22,960 maths problems for money, and when his back was turned, 564 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:26,560 they could cheat, and the more they saw they got away with it, 565 00:29:26,560 --> 00:29:28,760 the more they cheated. But what was interesting is, 566 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,000 the scores were not inflated by a few students, 567 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:34,480 who were cheating a lot, but many students cheating a little. 568 00:29:34,480 --> 00:29:36,240 Cheating, in that sense, is infectious. 569 00:29:36,240 --> 00:29:38,280 You go, "What the hell, I can do it," so you do it. 570 00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:40,440 Is that like that thing when you're telling a lie, 571 00:29:40,440 --> 00:29:43,400 and you're telling a story about what happened on the weekend and... 572 00:29:43,400 --> 00:29:45,160 Oooh, and it gets further and further... 573 00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:48,520 And then you embellish it a little bit. And then you think, "I got away with that. 574 00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:50,280 "I might just add a little bit more to it." 575 00:29:50,280 --> 00:29:52,880 And then suddenly it's this big, fanciful story because 576 00:29:52,880 --> 00:29:54,080 of that tiny, little... 577 00:29:54,080 --> 00:29:56,960 The awful thing is, because it is a lie it is stored in a different 578 00:29:56,960 --> 00:29:59,760 part of your memory so when, so when a week later someone says, 579 00:29:59,760 --> 00:30:04,080 "Tell that marvellous story about that time you," and you're going, "Shit, what did I say?" 580 00:30:04,080 --> 00:30:06,680 But animals, interestingly, animals can cheat. 581 00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,840 Koko, who is a wonderful gorilla in California, 582 00:30:09,840 --> 00:30:11,880 once tore a steel sink off a wall 583 00:30:11,880 --> 00:30:14,680 and then used sign language 584 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:18,600 - to tell her handlers that the cat had done it. - Yes. 585 00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:22,680 A real child-like fib. "It wasn't me, it was the cat." 586 00:30:22,680 --> 00:30:25,840 The closer you get to human beings, the more of a liar you become. 587 00:30:25,840 --> 00:30:28,280 And perhaps an even more famous chimp, Nim Chimpsky, 588 00:30:28,280 --> 00:30:31,320 about whom a film was made, who has a really developed sign language, 589 00:30:31,320 --> 00:30:33,400 she used to duck out of sign language lessons 590 00:30:33,400 --> 00:30:36,280 by saying she needed to go to the loo when she didn't. 591 00:30:36,280 --> 00:30:38,440 She'd say, "I have to go for a pee," like that, 592 00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:41,160 she'd go off and you'd see her not going for a pee. Or him, rather. 593 00:30:41,160 --> 00:30:43,240 So animals are capable of deception. 594 00:30:43,240 --> 00:30:46,280 So maybe we should only eat animals that can lie. 595 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:48,960 Well, lying seems to be a sign of intelligence, 596 00:30:48,960 --> 00:30:51,760 I'm glad to say, as an inveterate liar myself. 597 00:30:51,760 --> 00:30:54,560 Ariely, this man who did the work on the "what the hell" effect, 598 00:30:54,560 --> 00:30:57,320 he found people who score higher on psychological tests 599 00:30:57,320 --> 00:30:59,920 for creativity are more likely to engage in dishonesty. 600 00:30:59,920 --> 00:31:01,360 Anyway, there we are. 601 00:31:01,360 --> 00:31:03,160 We are who we are because we cheat. 602 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:06,280 The "what the hell" effect describes how, after the first lie, 603 00:31:06,280 --> 00:31:07,880 the others just keep coming. 604 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:12,320 Be truthful, how do you rate your own driving, generosity and ability to conduct an adult relationship? 605 00:31:12,320 --> 00:31:17,080 I was reading about how we all over-estimate our input into things, so they were asking couples 606 00:31:17,080 --> 00:31:20,640 what percentage of the housework do you do? 607 00:31:20,640 --> 00:31:22,840 - And it would add up to about 130%. - Yeah. 608 00:31:22,840 --> 00:31:25,880 Because everyone, even if they know they only do a little bit, 609 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,000 they still think that's more or its worth more. 610 00:31:28,000 --> 00:31:30,120 Everyone thinks they do more than their partner. 611 00:31:30,120 --> 00:31:32,280 - Everyone thinks they're a good driver. - Everyone. 612 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:34,560 Everyone thinks they're better than average. 613 00:31:34,560 --> 00:31:37,000 - I'll be a great driver, I'll be a great dad. - I don't. 614 00:31:37,000 --> 00:31:41,760 - You don't think any of those things? - No, I can't drive. I don't think of myself as a good driver. 615 00:31:41,760 --> 00:31:46,080 - You haven't passed your test? - No. - Then that's fair enough. You probably are a crap driver then. 616 00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:48,840 - Yeah. - Do you think you're good in bed? 617 00:31:48,840 --> 00:31:51,360 I haven't passed that test either. 618 00:31:52,840 --> 00:31:55,200 Failed on three minors and a major. 619 00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,480 - With emergency stop. - Yeah. 620 00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:02,080 Ah, that's the worst. That is the worst. 621 00:32:02,080 --> 00:32:04,080 I kept changing lanes when I shouldn't. 622 00:32:04,080 --> 00:32:07,200 LAUGHTER AND GROANS 623 00:32:07,200 --> 00:32:12,160 Yeah. We all do have a high view of ourselves... 624 00:32:12,160 --> 00:32:14,360 Dear God almighty. 625 00:32:14,360 --> 00:32:17,560 We tend to think we're better at things like donating to charity, 626 00:32:17,560 --> 00:32:20,400 voting, maintaining a successful relationship, 627 00:32:20,400 --> 00:32:22,920 volunteering for unpleasant lab experiments. 628 00:32:22,920 --> 00:32:26,800 But, I'm glad to tell you that Institute for Child Study at Toronto University 629 00:32:26,800 --> 00:32:28,640 claims that toddlers who tell lies 630 00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:31,680 early on are more likely to do well in later life. 631 00:32:31,680 --> 00:32:34,160 The complex brain processes involved in formulating 632 00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:37,120 a lie are an indicator of a child's intelligence. 633 00:32:37,120 --> 00:32:41,040 So it doesn't necessarily mean if you lie your way through life you'll do better. 634 00:32:41,040 --> 00:32:45,400 - No. - It just means if you can lie early, then you're quite creative and you can get through life. 635 00:32:45,400 --> 00:32:47,880 - Yes. - I'm saying this in case my daughter is watching. 636 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:51,720 - Good point. - Don't want to get the wrong idea, absolutely. 637 00:32:51,720 --> 00:32:54,360 So, now I want you to be thoroughly dishonest by pretending 638 00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:56,600 you don't know you're going to get a klaxon, 639 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:59,600 because it's General Ignorance time. Fingers on buzzers, please. 640 00:32:59,600 --> 00:33:01,240 What are deserts mostly from? 641 00:33:01,240 --> 00:33:03,560 - MUSIC: TALES OF THE UNEXPECTED THEME - Yes, Sara? - Sand. 642 00:33:03,560 --> 00:33:05,800 - ALARM BLARES - Oh, thank you. 643 00:33:05,800 --> 00:33:07,800 What? What? 644 00:33:07,800 --> 00:33:10,400 - You'd think, wouldn't you? - Yeah. - Not the case. No. 645 00:33:10,400 --> 00:33:13,360 Only one-third of the world's land surface is desert 646 00:33:13,360 --> 00:33:15,840 and only a small proportion of that is sand. 647 00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:18,120 North American deserts are around 2% sand. 648 00:33:18,120 --> 00:33:20,200 No more than that. There's Monument Valley. 649 00:33:20,200 --> 00:33:23,400 Globally, on average, only 20% of all deserts are sand, a fifth. 650 00:33:23,400 --> 00:33:26,200 The remainder is made of rock, shingle, salt or even snow. 651 00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:28,240 - And camels. - And camels. 652 00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:31,760 - Yes, camel poo. - There's lots of cigarettes all over the desert. 653 00:33:31,760 --> 00:33:34,080 The driest desert in the world is...? 654 00:33:34,080 --> 00:33:36,400 - The Gobi Desert. - No. 655 00:33:36,400 --> 00:33:38,640 - Any thoughts? - AUDIENCE MEMBER: - Antarctica. 656 00:33:38,640 --> 00:33:41,840 There is an argument for saying the Antarctic is a dry desert. 657 00:33:41,840 --> 00:33:44,080 - It doesn't rain there. - Yeah, it doesn't, 658 00:33:44,080 --> 00:33:46,560 but the Atacama is considered the driest land desert. 659 00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:49,680 Some weather stations there have recorded no rain whatsoever, 660 00:33:49,680 --> 00:33:53,680 - not one. - What a boring job, being in that weather station. 661 00:33:53,680 --> 00:33:56,840 The largest desert on Earth is Antarctica, 662 00:33:56,840 --> 00:33:59,200 even though much of it is under snow. 663 00:33:59,200 --> 00:34:02,280 But the one area that is the driest, man who shouts a lot, 664 00:34:02,280 --> 00:34:06,480 are the McMurdo Dry Valleys. 665 00:34:06,480 --> 00:34:08,080 Is that his Red Indian name? 666 00:34:08,080 --> 00:34:10,800 Yeah. And they consist mostly of... 667 00:34:12,600 --> 00:34:14,320 They consist... 668 00:34:14,320 --> 00:34:16,840 Man Who Shout A Lot. 669 00:34:18,400 --> 00:34:21,000 The McMurdo Dry Valleys are so dry 670 00:34:21,000 --> 00:34:23,520 that dead animals mummify rather than decay. 671 00:34:23,520 --> 00:34:26,320 - What is that? What animal is it? - A seal. 672 00:34:26,320 --> 00:34:29,680 If it's dehydrated it might come back to life if you get it wet. 673 00:34:29,680 --> 00:34:33,080 Yeah, if you get it wet and it rains... 674 00:34:35,320 --> 00:34:39,920 - Like Knorr chicken soup. - Ball on the tail. I'm doing ball on the tail. - I can see. 675 00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:43,240 It seems that if you want to identify a desert, 676 00:34:43,240 --> 00:34:46,680 the best way to do so involves looking for the rain, not for sand. 677 00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:48,960 How did the Vikings bury their dead? 678 00:34:48,960 --> 00:34:50,360 On a boat. On fire. 679 00:34:50,360 --> 00:34:53,720 - Oh, on a boat on fire. - ALARM BLARES 680 00:34:53,720 --> 00:34:56,840 Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack, Jack. No. 681 00:34:56,840 --> 00:34:58,360 In the ground...? 682 00:34:58,360 --> 00:35:00,360 Yeah. More or less. 683 00:35:08,200 --> 00:35:11,440 I feel a bit sad about how tentative I was about that. 684 00:35:11,440 --> 00:35:14,880 The myth of the burning longboat is very, very recent - 19th century. 685 00:35:14,880 --> 00:35:17,560 In fact, there is one story of Baldur, a god, 686 00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:19,440 who was apparently burned like that, 687 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,360 the rest of it is pretty much Ladyboy...Ladybird book stuff. 688 00:35:22,360 --> 00:35:24,840 - I love the Ladyboy books. - Did I say "Ladyboy books"? 689 00:35:24,840 --> 00:35:26,360 Ladybird books. 690 00:35:26,360 --> 00:35:29,440 - They didn't have horns either, did they? - No, they didn't have horns. 691 00:35:29,440 --> 00:35:33,160 The late 19th century was a period of enormous European rediscovery 692 00:35:33,160 --> 00:35:35,520 of their ancient myths and so on, or at least 693 00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:40,520 not just rediscovery but making up. In the case of Britain it was Arthurian legend 694 00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:43,760 and druidic legend, a lot of which was totally nonsense. 695 00:35:43,760 --> 00:35:47,200 And there was a Swedish illustrator called Gustav Malmstrom, and he 696 00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:51,160 did these horned helmets and dragons' wings on the heroes' headgear. 697 00:35:51,160 --> 00:35:54,200 And his Saga became an international hit and made the Vikings' name. 698 00:35:54,200 --> 00:35:58,240 And a Vikingr was a pirate or raider. A viking was a raiding expedition. 699 00:35:58,240 --> 00:35:59,960 A vikingr would go on a viking. 700 00:35:59,960 --> 00:36:04,880 And Vik or Vike is old Norse for a bay of a fjord. 701 00:36:04,880 --> 00:36:07,720 And Reykjavik means a 'smoky bay', for example. 702 00:36:07,720 --> 00:36:11,960 Reyki, Auld Reekie is the old smoky town, Edinburgh, in Scottish. 703 00:36:11,960 --> 00:36:15,200 I've also heard once that kind of socialist atmosphere that 704 00:36:15,200 --> 00:36:18,560 pervades Sweden kind of also came from the Vikings, 705 00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:23,760 because there was just enough alcohol to keep everyone happy, 706 00:36:23,760 --> 00:36:26,520 so you were just, there's a Swedish word called Largon, 707 00:36:26,520 --> 00:36:28,480 which means not too much and not too little. 708 00:36:28,480 --> 00:36:32,040 And if you, when you gave out the vodka to all of the people rowing on the ships... 709 00:36:32,040 --> 00:36:36,360 - The aquavit. - The aquavit, yes. Not to much that someone down the back wouldn't get enough, 710 00:36:36,360 --> 00:36:39,720 and not too little that they'd be unhappy that they didn't get enough. 711 00:36:39,720 --> 00:36:42,080 So it was just evenly shared out over everyone 712 00:36:42,080 --> 00:36:46,280 that was rowing and that's pervaded Swedish culture and that's why they are now... 713 00:36:46,280 --> 00:36:48,320 - Sharey people. - Pissed. 714 00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:52,320 Lightly pissed, sharey people. 715 00:36:52,320 --> 00:36:56,160 Yes, Vikings sometimes buried their dead in a boat, but always on land. 716 00:36:56,160 --> 00:37:00,360 Which bit of whale did they use to make a whalebone corset? 717 00:37:00,360 --> 00:37:04,280 - I'm going to take a punt and say the jaw. - Not the jaw. 718 00:37:04,280 --> 00:37:05,920 Penis? 719 00:37:05,920 --> 00:37:07,280 Not the penis. 720 00:37:07,280 --> 00:37:09,440 - Is it not part of a whale? - The wishbone. 721 00:37:09,440 --> 00:37:11,000 It is part of the whale. 722 00:37:11,000 --> 00:37:13,320 Not the wish... Did you say the wishbone? 723 00:37:13,320 --> 00:37:18,160 - That's a huge tug of war. - So for a corset... Is it the ribs? 724 00:37:18,160 --> 00:37:19,600 MAN SHOUTS OUT 725 00:37:19,600 --> 00:37:21,320 ALARM BLARES 726 00:37:22,720 --> 00:37:24,280 Who said the ribs? 727 00:37:24,280 --> 00:37:26,520 I did, I said it first. 728 00:37:26,520 --> 00:37:28,800 - Oh, sorry about that, no, not the ribs. - No worries. 729 00:37:28,800 --> 00:37:31,240 I think Shouty Man had it again. 730 00:37:31,240 --> 00:37:33,320 MAN SHOUTS OUT 731 00:37:33,320 --> 00:37:35,400 SARA: That isn't how you get on the show. 732 00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:38,000 This is not that thing with James Corden on Sky 1, 733 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:39,800 thank you very much indeed. 734 00:37:41,560 --> 00:37:42,880 My show. 735 00:37:42,880 --> 00:37:44,160 Oh, yes! 736 00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:50,480 Whoops. 737 00:37:51,680 --> 00:37:54,800 - More's the pity. - The show now four series on. 738 00:37:54,800 --> 00:37:56,880 More's the pity. 739 00:37:56,880 --> 00:37:59,240 I wish it were, The Shouty Show. 740 00:38:00,520 --> 00:38:03,520 - With the drunk cricketer. - Yeah, that one, exactly. 741 00:38:03,520 --> 00:38:05,880 No, as I think they were shouting, "The baleen." 742 00:38:05,880 --> 00:38:07,920 - Does that mean anything? - The thing in the mouth. 743 00:38:07,920 --> 00:38:10,800 - Yeah, the sieve in the mouth. - That sieves the... - Oh, I see. 744 00:38:10,800 --> 00:38:13,440 There are two types of whale - baleen whale and toothed whale - 745 00:38:13,440 --> 00:38:15,920 and the blue whale is an example of a baleen whale there. 746 00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:17,760 The baleen is in fact keratin, 747 00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:20,360 the same thing that our hair is made of, our fingernails, 748 00:38:20,360 --> 00:38:22,040 or rhinoceros horn is. 749 00:38:22,040 --> 00:38:24,280 So it's wonderfully pliable. 750 00:38:24,280 --> 00:38:27,360 It was the plastic of the 19th century, essentially. 751 00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:30,360 - Right. - There was a Mr JA Sevey trading out of Boston 752 00:38:30,360 --> 00:38:32,480 who offered 54 different whalebone products. 753 00:38:32,480 --> 00:38:35,800 Whips, parasols, umbrellas, fishing rods, canes, hat, divining rods, 754 00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:38,600 riding crops, ferrules, brushes, mattress stuffing, 755 00:38:38,600 --> 00:38:41,320 back-supporters, suspenders, billiard cushion springs, 756 00:38:41,320 --> 00:38:44,400 pen-holders, shoehorns, tongue scrapers and policemen's clubs. 757 00:38:44,400 --> 00:38:47,600 - All possible. - That is a good Saturday night. 758 00:38:47,600 --> 00:38:50,480 Empty your pockets out. 759 00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:53,120 But real whalebone was used for something else. 760 00:38:53,120 --> 00:38:55,200 It was a cheap substitute for ivory. 761 00:38:55,200 --> 00:38:58,000 And you probably know of the carving that was done on it 762 00:38:58,000 --> 00:39:01,080 that sailors used to do, which had a particular name? 763 00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,040 I do not know of the name of that. 764 00:39:03,040 --> 00:39:05,240 Oh, we'll have to ask Shouty Man again. 765 00:39:05,240 --> 00:39:08,440 - AUDIENCE MEMBER: - Scrimshaw! - Scrimshaw is the right answer, yes. 766 00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:10,520 - He's very clever, Shouty Man. - He is. 767 00:39:10,520 --> 00:39:13,120 - He's a very smart shouty man. - He's a smart shouty man. 768 00:39:13,120 --> 00:39:15,800 It may be a whole series of organised shouty men, 769 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:18,000 I don't know, but we're very impressed by them. 770 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:19,880 They may have to get a score at the end, 771 00:39:19,880 --> 00:39:21,240 that's what's worrying me. 772 00:39:21,240 --> 00:39:24,520 Yes, scrimshaw is...you know that very carved whalebone effect? 773 00:39:24,520 --> 00:39:27,480 It's sometimes done on horns. I mean, amazing, some of it. 774 00:39:27,480 --> 00:39:30,120 Even a whole desk was once done out of whalebone, 775 00:39:30,120 --> 00:39:31,520 because whales are big animals. 776 00:39:31,520 --> 00:39:34,240 I'd love to think that there were cases of people wearing 777 00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:35,760 a whalebone corset. 778 00:39:35,760 --> 00:39:40,440 And just being out at a party and going... "I'm really hungry. 779 00:39:40,440 --> 00:39:43,360 "Oh, there's a spare prawn in here." 780 00:39:43,360 --> 00:39:45,480 Yes, it would be lovely, wouldn't it? 781 00:39:45,480 --> 00:39:48,400 Of course the baleen is used, it's this huge sieved area, it sucks 782 00:39:48,400 --> 00:39:52,120 in this huge amount of water, filled with krill and plankton and so on. 783 00:39:52,120 --> 00:39:54,560 Then the baleens sort of mesh together 784 00:39:54,560 --> 00:39:58,120 and it pushes all the water out and all the food is left clinging 785 00:39:58,120 --> 00:40:02,240 to this filter, which it then sucks into its mouth. And it's fantastically efficient. 786 00:40:02,240 --> 00:40:05,080 So it would be the equivalent of going up in your whalebone corset 787 00:40:05,080 --> 00:40:06,840 to the buffet and just going... SUCKING 788 00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:08,600 Letting out the bits you don't want. 789 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:11,080 Yes, most whalebone was not bone but baleen, 790 00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:13,600 the 19th-century equivalent of plastic. 791 00:40:13,600 --> 00:40:15,520 Can you name a blue sea creature? 792 00:40:15,520 --> 00:40:18,320 - MUSIC: THE TWILIGHT ZONE THEME - Alan? Oh. 793 00:40:18,320 --> 00:40:20,000 Yes, Jack? 794 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,120 Shouty Man, drop it like it's hot. 795 00:40:25,000 --> 00:40:26,720 Mine! 796 00:40:29,400 --> 00:40:31,680 Is he going to fall for our trap? 797 00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:33,320 - AUDIENCE MEMBER: - A blue whale! 798 00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:35,520 Is the right answer! 799 00:40:35,520 --> 00:40:37,320 Yes, I love this guy! 800 00:40:40,920 --> 00:40:43,400 That's the fastest I've ever been on the draw as well. 801 00:40:43,400 --> 00:40:46,840 - That was quick, and still wasn't... - I broke my buzzer. - You did. 802 00:40:46,840 --> 00:40:48,640 'I don't believe it!' 803 00:40:48,640 --> 00:40:50,240 You've broken your carrot now. 804 00:40:50,240 --> 00:40:53,040 We thought you might be so afraid you'd say, "Not the blue whale." 805 00:40:53,040 --> 00:40:55,280 - No, I was pretty sure about that one. - It is blue. 806 00:40:55,280 --> 00:40:57,960 It's not very blue, but it's blue enough to call blue. 807 00:40:57,960 --> 00:41:00,560 - It's bluer than most things, innit? - It is. - It's all relative. 808 00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:02,560 The colour spectrum is different under water. 809 00:41:02,560 --> 00:41:04,800 It's quite a common... a common qualor... 810 00:41:04,800 --> 00:41:06,760 It's quite a common colour amongst... 811 00:41:06,760 --> 00:41:08,880 The gibberish blokes can understand all of that. 812 00:41:08,880 --> 00:41:10,680 - Absolutely. - SARA: A dory is blue. 813 00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:12,680 There's the blue marlin, which is pretty blue. 814 00:41:12,680 --> 00:41:16,240 - A dory is blue. - Yes. The blue starfish you can see is jolly blue. 815 00:41:16,240 --> 00:41:17,800 Blue marlin there. 816 00:41:17,800 --> 00:41:19,320 Blue Man Group. 817 00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:24,840 And the beautiful blue angel there, the glaucus atlantica. 818 00:41:24,840 --> 00:41:28,240 The blue angel, as well as being a Marlene Dietrich film, 819 00:41:28,240 --> 00:41:31,320 is a very interesting fish, in as much as it's venomous, 820 00:41:31,320 --> 00:41:33,640 but its venom is second hand. 821 00:41:33,640 --> 00:41:35,480 It feeds on the Portuguese Man of War, 822 00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:38,600 and ingests its poison so that it becomes venomous itself. 823 00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:41,120 Isn't that clever? 824 00:41:41,120 --> 00:41:43,960 - Cunning! - Very cunning, very cunning. 825 00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:47,520 So the grey whale is pretty grey, the humpback is pretty grey. 826 00:41:47,520 --> 00:41:50,120 The sperm whale is dark grey/black, but the blue whale, 827 00:41:50,120 --> 00:41:53,240 as you can see, is jolly blue. There it is, bottom right. 828 00:41:53,240 --> 00:41:54,280 I see it. 829 00:41:54,280 --> 00:41:56,640 Yeh-hey. Your favourite whale. 830 00:41:56,640 --> 00:41:59,480 Would we lie to you? Blue whales are blue, pretty much. 831 00:41:59,480 --> 00:42:03,000 Well, that's our last tissue in our box of lies. 832 00:42:03,000 --> 00:42:06,320 It's time for the unvarnished truth with the scores. 833 00:42:06,320 --> 00:42:08,240 And it's pretty bally fascinating. 834 00:42:08,240 --> 00:42:11,640 In last place, with minus... 835 00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:13,600 Oh, dear. Minus 19, 836 00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:15,600 but with a tremendous performance 837 00:42:15,600 --> 00:42:18,480 and a wonderful last rally, Jack Whitehall. 838 00:42:24,800 --> 00:42:28,560 With minus 11, an entirely creditable third place, 839 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:31,680 she knew so much, Sara, Sara Pascoe. 840 00:42:35,480 --> 00:42:38,280 I get all the buzzers, I got two. I got two. 841 00:42:38,280 --> 00:42:41,680 On minus 8, second place, Alan Davies. 842 00:42:41,680 --> 00:42:43,680 Minus 8, pretty pleased. 843 00:42:46,040 --> 00:42:49,480 And a staggeringly secure first place, 844 00:42:49,480 --> 00:42:52,120 - on plus 14, Adam Hills. - Oh, my goodness. 845 00:42:59,120 --> 00:43:02,000 And tonight, of course, a special award of minus 39 846 00:43:02,000 --> 00:43:04,720 for the shouty man in the audience! 847 00:43:09,960 --> 00:43:14,120 Yes, it only remains for me to thank Adam, Jack, Sara and Alan 848 00:43:14,120 --> 00:43:17,880 and leave you with the last words of Spanish Prime Minister 849 00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:20,240 General Ramon Maria Narvaez. 850 00:43:20,240 --> 00:43:23,080 "I do not have to forgive my enemies, 851 00:43:23,080 --> 00:43:25,320 "I have had them all shot." 852 00:43:25,320 --> 00:43:27,400 Good night. 853 00:43:27,400 --> 00:43:30,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE