1 00:00:06,659 --> 00:00:13,667 This programme contains some strong language 2 00:00:30,290 --> 00:00:33,609 Go-oo-oo-od evening, good evening, good evening, good evening, 3 00:00:33,609 --> 00:00:35,889 good evening, good evening, and welcome to QI, 4 00:00:35,889 --> 00:00:39,160 where tonight we're doing the maths and making the money. 5 00:00:39,160 --> 00:00:41,572 Let's meet our mathematical masterminds. 6 00:00:42,729 --> 00:00:44,649 The irrational Aisling Bea. 7 00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:51,379 The recurring Susan Calman. 8 00:00:55,079 --> 00:00:57,300 A prime example, Sandi Toksvig. 9 00:01:01,219 --> 00:01:04,449 And the square root of f-all, Alan Davies. 10 00:01:10,519 --> 00:01:12,659 So, let's get their numbers. 11 00:01:12,659 --> 00:01:13,689 Susan goes: 12 00:01:13,689 --> 00:01:16,359 ♪ One, two, three, four... ♪ 13 00:01:16,359 --> 00:01:17,809 Aisling goes: 14 00:01:17,809 --> 00:01:19,300 ♪ Two, four, six, eight... ♪ 15 00:01:19,300 --> 00:01:23,649 Sandi goes: # Five-seven-oh-five! # 16 00:01:23,649 --> 00:01:25,249 And Alan goes: 17 00:01:25,249 --> 00:01:26,889 CHILD: 'Two twos are six! 18 00:01:26,889 --> 00:01:30,869 'Two threes are seven. Two fours are 24.' 19 00:01:30,869 --> 00:01:33,372 Well done. 20 00:01:35,249 --> 00:01:37,040 It's getting worse, you know. 21 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:40,679 Now, before we start, we've already done a little market research 22 00:01:40,679 --> 00:01:44,290 to see if many heads are better than one. 23 00:01:44,290 --> 00:01:47,319 We've asked a random selection of our studio audience to guess 24 00:01:47,319 --> 00:01:50,399 how many sweets are in this jar, 25 00:01:50,399 --> 00:01:55,119 and we want each member of the panel to do the same, right? 26 00:01:55,119 --> 00:01:57,219 So you can write down your thoughts. 27 00:01:57,219 --> 00:01:59,099 I'll come back to you at the end of the show 28 00:01:59,099 --> 00:02:00,649 and ask you for your best guesses. 29 00:02:00,649 --> 00:02:04,335 The winner will get to call themselves Smarty- Pants. 30 00:02:06,019 --> 00:02:10,219 Can I just check that they are actually sweets first of all? 31 00:02:10,219 --> 00:02:13,579 Oh, yes, they really are individual chocolate beans. 32 00:02:13,579 --> 00:02:16,449 I've done it already. Wow! Done. 33 00:02:16,449 --> 00:02:18,729 You can put it away till the end of the show. 34 00:02:18,729 --> 00:02:22,699 Now, what was this man very good at doing with his fingers? 35 00:02:24,329 --> 00:02:27,170 This man being the man sitting down with the crown. 36 00:02:27,170 --> 00:02:29,659 He kind of looks like he's doing the Macarena, 37 00:02:29,659 --> 00:02:31,759 but I don't think they used to do that. 38 00:02:31,759 --> 00:02:34,689 Is it a card trick? Is it a "nothing up my sleeves", is it one of those? 39 00:02:34,689 --> 00:02:36,019 It looks like that. 40 00:02:36,019 --> 00:02:37,668 AISLING: Is the man in the middle Jesus? 41 00:02:39,569 --> 00:02:41,439 I know that face from somewhere. 42 00:02:41,439 --> 00:02:44,019 We're in the Old Testament. Oh, are we? Well... 43 00:02:44,019 --> 00:02:46,579 The man in the middle is Daniel. 44 00:02:46,579 --> 00:02:49,459 He was in a lion's den, if you remember. 45 00:02:49,459 --> 00:02:52,089 He was in prison and he was released from prison 46 00:02:52,089 --> 00:02:54,819 because he had the ability to interpret...? 47 00:02:54,819 --> 00:02:56,609 Dreams. Dreams. Dreams. 48 00:02:56,609 --> 00:03:01,019 And the King whose dreams he interpreted was? 49 00:03:01,019 --> 00:03:02,249 Happy. 50 00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,879 Asleep. N, N, N... 51 00:03:05,879 --> 00:03:07,290 Nestafarius. 52 00:03:07,290 --> 00:03:09,649 Nebuchadnezzar. Nebuchadnezzar. 53 00:03:09,649 --> 00:03:11,219 Oh, I was close. Yes, yes. 54 00:03:11,219 --> 00:03:12,659 Nebuchadnezzar, who was king of? 55 00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:14,172 All things around him. 56 00:03:16,249 --> 00:03:17,839 Babylon. He was. 57 00:03:17,839 --> 00:03:20,019 Yes. And the Babylonians were very good 58 00:03:20,019 --> 00:03:21,899 at doing what with their fingers? 59 00:03:21,899 --> 00:03:24,489 Gardening. The Hanging Gardens of Babylon. 60 00:03:24,489 --> 00:03:27,609 What's the theme... Yes, no, you're right. What's... Green-fingered. 61 00:03:27,609 --> 00:03:29,839 Babylon is... What's the theme of our show tonight? 62 00:03:29,839 --> 00:03:31,889 Babylon is where... Adding up, adding up. 63 00:03:31,889 --> 00:03:33,489 Maths. Yeah. Maths. 64 00:03:33,489 --> 00:03:36,290 Babylonians, I won't say they invented mathematics, exactly, 65 00:03:36,290 --> 00:03:39,040 but they had a counting system on their fingers which was 66 00:03:39,040 --> 00:03:40,009 different from ours. 67 00:03:40,009 --> 00:03:43,219 How's our counting system work? One, two, three, four, five... 68 00:03:43,219 --> 00:03:45,819 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Phew! 69 00:03:45,819 --> 00:03:47,659 And therefore, because of that... 70 00:03:47,659 --> 00:03:50,609 Decimal, decimal. We have a decimal system, based on ten. 71 00:03:50,609 --> 00:03:52,129 But they have a different system, 72 00:03:52,129 --> 00:03:54,449 they counted on their fingers differently. 73 00:03:54,449 --> 00:03:56,310 - Oh, they did the... - One, two, three... 74 00:03:56,310 --> 00:03:59,609 They went one, two, three, four... They went the JOI NTS of the fingers. 75 00:03:59,609 --> 00:04:03,659 Yeah, the joints. Yes. One, two, three. Four, five, six. Seven, eight, nine, Ten, 11, 12. 76 00:04:03,659 --> 00:04:06,199 And then they'd put their thumb up. 13, 14, 15. 77 00:04:06,199 --> 00:04:08,619 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 78 00:04:08,619 --> 00:04:10,029 22, 23, 24. 79 00:04:10,029 --> 00:04:11,619 Put their finger up. 80 00:04:11,619 --> 00:04:15,929 And so on, until they got to 60, which is five iterations of 12. 81 00:04:15,929 --> 00:04:18,019 After that you'd need another person. 82 00:04:18,019 --> 00:04:21,659 Yes, exactly. Just as we would need another person after ten. 83 00:04:21,659 --> 00:04:25,379 That's the point. And they had a very successful system. 84 00:04:25,379 --> 00:04:28,449 Why is that important and influential? 85 00:04:28,449 --> 00:04:30,649 Well, it's the hours of the day, is it? 86 00:04:30,649 --> 00:04:33,249 Hours of the day, 60 minutes in an hour. 87 00:04:33,249 --> 00:04:34,539 60 seconds in a minute. 88 00:04:34,539 --> 00:04:37,329 But the 24 divides into more than any other number, 89 00:04:37,329 --> 00:04:39,099 divides by two, three, four, six, eight... 90 00:04:39,099 --> 00:04:41,089 Oh, Alan, you're on fire! ..and 12. 91 00:04:49,170 --> 00:04:50,849 Yeah! Absolutely right. Good boy! 92 00:04:50,849 --> 00:04:52,889 We also have 360... 93 00:04:52,889 --> 00:04:54,459 Degrees. 94 00:04:54,459 --> 00:04:59,379 ..degrees in a full circle. 12 inches to a foot. 95 00:04:59,379 --> 00:05:01,449 12 is so much more pleasing, I think. It is. 96 00:05:01,449 --> 00:05:03,529 Well, it's factorisable, 97 00:05:03,529 --> 00:05:05,969 and therefore it's a much more natural way. 98 00:05:05,969 --> 00:05:08,489 It seems like it was some chap with more time on his hands. 99 00:05:08,489 --> 00:05:11,050 Ten is easy - you look and think, "There's ten," straight away. 100 00:05:11,050 --> 00:05:14,259 He's thinking, "But we could be more creative," and he's working out... 101 00:05:14,259 --> 00:05:17,099 Isn't he? He's got more time. But they didn't have the internet. 102 00:05:17,099 --> 00:05:19,300 They were just looking at their hands, going, 103 00:05:19,300 --> 00:05:22,292 "I wish I had a Game Boy. May as well count my knuckles." 104 00:05:23,569 --> 00:05:25,109 I've got a question. 105 00:05:25,109 --> 00:05:26,099 Yeah? 106 00:05:26,099 --> 00:05:29,559 When you want to say to someone, just one, I just want one. 107 00:05:29,559 --> 00:05:31,529 You know, across a room. Yeah. 108 00:05:31,529 --> 00:05:34,099 Get me two, get me two. How do you do that? 109 00:05:34,099 --> 00:05:35,578 Do you have to go like that? 110 00:05:39,899 --> 00:05:42,559 If you go like that it means three, you get three of everything. 111 00:05:42,559 --> 00:05:44,449 It's a very interesting question. 112 00:05:44,449 --> 00:05:46,889 I'm only going to tell you this three more times. 113 00:05:46,889 --> 00:05:49,089 If you were Roman, that would be five, wouldn't it? 114 00:05:49,089 --> 00:05:50,379 It's very confusing. 115 00:05:50,379 --> 00:05:53,209 Yeah, the Romans, that's five. Yeah. There you are, that's it. 116 00:05:53,209 --> 00:05:57,300 Now, last night, I tossed two heads at the same time. 117 00:05:57,300 --> 00:05:59,609 What are the chances? What? 118 00:06:01,619 --> 00:06:04,819 I don't understand, what are you doing? No, no, what? No, no. 119 00:06:04,819 --> 00:06:08,019 Yeah, no, it's fine. No, no, I misunderstood, I misunderstood. 120 00:06:08,019 --> 00:06:09,609 It's completely fine. 121 00:06:09,609 --> 00:06:11,089 Two coins at the same time? 122 00:06:11,089 --> 00:06:13,129 Yeah, a coin here, a coin there. 123 00:06:13,129 --> 00:06:15,029 I just want to know what the odds are. 124 00:06:15,029 --> 00:06:17,300 Because I'm tempted to say one in three, but I bet it's not. 125 00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:18,479 Well, what... 126 00:06:22,769 --> 00:06:24,691 SUSAN: It's seven in 94. 127 00:06:26,409 --> 00:06:28,659 No, you've got two coins, right. Yeah. 128 00:06:28,659 --> 00:06:31,099 There are four possible outcomes. 129 00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,739 There's heads-heads. 130 00:06:32,739 --> 00:06:34,180 Heads-tails. 131 00:06:34,180 --> 00:06:35,209 Yeah. 132 00:06:35,209 --> 00:06:36,769 Tails-tails. 133 00:06:36,769 --> 00:06:38,209 And tails-heads. Tails-heads. 134 00:06:38,209 --> 00:06:40,459 Tails-heads. Yeah. Yeah. So it's one in four. 135 00:06:40,459 --> 00:06:42,199 One in four. One in four. It's one in four. 136 00:06:42,199 --> 00:06:45,659 Does it have anything to do with whether you normally toss 137 00:06:45,659 --> 00:06:48,930 with your right hand or toss with your left hand? 138 00:06:48,930 --> 00:06:50,969 That's assuming it's an equal toss. 139 00:06:50,969 --> 00:06:55,209 The thing is, it's not that difficult a thing to understand mathematically, 140 00:06:55,209 --> 00:07:01,379 but this was given to Members of Parliament as a question in 2012. 141 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:04,769 60% of MPs got it wrong. 142 00:07:05,739 --> 00:07:08,099 Did that include the Chancellor of the Exchequer? 143 00:07:08,099 --> 00:07:09,930 Well, there was a split on party lines. 144 00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:12,285 47% of the Tories got it wrong. 145 00:07:14,180 --> 00:07:16,466 And 77% of Labour MPs got it wrong. 146 00:07:18,609 --> 00:07:21,489 Now, listen, can I...? I should have said this at the beginning, 147 00:07:21,489 --> 00:07:24,849 I have to be very honest, I am phobic about maths. 148 00:07:24,849 --> 00:07:26,109 No, I understand. 149 00:07:26,109 --> 00:07:29,769 I was like you, I was also... My father's a mathematician, 150 00:07:29,769 --> 00:07:32,769 a physicist, and I was phobic about maths. 151 00:07:32,769 --> 00:07:36,040 Yeah. I always said, "Oh, no, I'm allergic to maths, I can't do it." 152 00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:39,329 But, actually, it's very beautiful, isn't it, it's really... Oh, now I love it. 153 00:07:39,329 --> 00:07:43,060 I wish one could be turned on to it. Yeah. I'm going to get turned on tonight to maths. 154 00:07:43,060 --> 00:07:44,099 All right. 155 00:07:44,099 --> 00:07:47,099 My thinking, Stephen, is if it's a head and a tail, that's one outcome. 156 00:07:47,099 --> 00:07:50,569 Yeah. And then a tail and a tail and a head and a head. 157 00:07:50,569 --> 00:07:52,969 I'm not counting which coin does a thing. 158 00:07:52,969 --> 00:07:54,809 I'm still sticking with three. 159 00:07:54,809 --> 00:07:56,689 Ah, then you think it's one in three. 160 00:07:56,689 --> 00:07:57,940 And you're still wrong. 161 00:07:59,019 --> 00:08:00,569 But I'd give them a break, though, 162 00:08:00,569 --> 00:08:02,699 because if I was in parliament and I was like, 163 00:08:02,699 --> 00:08:05,459 "Listen, I know you said you're going to fix the housing system 164 00:08:05,459 --> 00:08:07,249 "and you're going to sort my benefits, 165 00:08:07,249 --> 00:08:09,279 "but the big question is - I've got two coins. 166 00:08:09,279 --> 00:08:12,029 "I've got really good hands, I can flip them at the same time. 167 00:08:12,029 --> 00:08:13,859 "What's the probability of each hand?" 168 00:08:13,859 --> 00:08:16,209 Like, if he could pull that out and go, "You're a witch!" 169 00:08:16,209 --> 00:08:18,379 and then... You wouldn't trust them. 170 00:08:18,379 --> 00:08:20,940 Do you know the story of the professor of mathematics 171 00:08:20,940 --> 00:08:23,329 at the University of Warwick, Jeffrey Hamilton, 172 00:08:23,329 --> 00:08:25,569 giving a lecture in the 1970s on this topic? 173 00:08:25,569 --> 00:08:27,209 He was talking about probabilities 174 00:08:27,209 --> 00:08:30,099 and about it either coming down heads or coming down tails 175 00:08:30,099 --> 00:08:33,219 and how you could calculate that it was going to be either one 176 00:08:33,219 --> 00:08:35,819 or the other, and he tossed the coin in the air 177 00:08:35,819 --> 00:08:39,459 and it fell from his hand and it rolled across the lecture theatre 178 00:08:39,459 --> 00:08:41,779 and ended up exactly on its edge. 179 00:08:41,779 --> 00:08:45,259 So I like the fact there is a chance element in all these things. 180 00:08:45,259 --> 00:08:46,899 Always, absolutely. Yeah. 181 00:08:46,899 --> 00:08:51,639 And of course, ordinary people who are not MPs are just as fallible. 182 00:08:51,639 --> 00:08:56,338 In fact, 74% got it wrong - only 3% more stupid than the Labour MPs. 183 00:08:57,459 --> 00:09:02,050 At least then they're representing the common man. Yeah. 184 00:09:02,050 --> 00:09:06,739 There was a third-pound burger, the A&E company, the rival to McDonalds. 185 00:09:06,739 --> 00:09:11,619 People preferred it to the McDonalds version, but it failed. 186 00:09:11,619 --> 00:09:14,299 When people were asked why they didn't buy it, they said, 187 00:09:14,299 --> 00:09:15,389 well, it was a con. 188 00:09:15,389 --> 00:09:17,569 Oh, they thought it was less than a quarter pound? 189 00:09:17,569 --> 00:09:20,019 They thought you got less meat. 190 00:09:20,019 --> 00:09:23,289 AMERICAN ACCENT: It's only a third, it's not a quarter! 191 00:09:23,289 --> 00:09:25,569 And three is a smaller number than four, 192 00:09:25,569 --> 00:09:30,019 therefore a third of a pound must be less than a quarter of a pound. 193 00:09:30,019 --> 00:09:32,639 Oh, my God. And this is the most powerful nation on Earth. 194 00:09:34,749 --> 00:09:38,129 This is also the nation where nine out of ten high school graduates 195 00:09:38,129 --> 00:09:41,180 think that Joan of Arc is Noah's wife, so... Yes. 196 00:09:43,459 --> 00:09:45,649 But on the subject of probability, I've got this. 197 00:09:45,649 --> 00:09:48,109 It's really interesting, it's a probability issue. 198 00:09:48,109 --> 00:09:49,656 You want a pack of cards each. 199 00:09:51,139 --> 00:09:53,219 I can't catch. Oh, well caught. Well held. 200 00:09:53,219 --> 00:09:54,639 We've got some for you. All right. 201 00:09:54,639 --> 00:09:57,749 I want you to take the cards out and give them a good shuffle, 202 00:09:57,749 --> 00:09:59,849 good shuffle. I'm going to do the same. 203 00:09:59,849 --> 00:10:01,259 I've just shuffled them. 204 00:10:06,289 --> 00:10:07,899 Beautifully done. 205 00:10:07,899 --> 00:10:12,779 Sandi's, Sandi's, Sandi's... Look at her, she's like a croupier. 206 00:10:12,779 --> 00:10:13,950 Jesus! 207 00:10:15,419 --> 00:10:16,619 Yeah. Very good. 208 00:10:16,619 --> 00:10:17,829 Oh, no. 209 00:10:17,829 --> 00:10:19,529 Very good. 210 00:10:19,529 --> 00:10:21,979 Yes, I've shuffled, I've riffle shuffled. Yeah. 211 00:10:21,979 --> 00:10:25,539 I'm not a gambler. OK. OK, so can you shove your cards in here? 212 00:10:25,539 --> 00:10:26,649 Oh, all right, then. 213 00:10:26,649 --> 00:10:29,359 All right. Thank you. I'll give it a good shake. 214 00:10:29,359 --> 00:10:32,190 Is this going to be one of those Derren Brown ones where we 215 00:10:32,190 --> 00:10:34,419 all can't eat for a week, or something like that? 216 00:10:34,419 --> 00:10:37,009 No, nothing like that. There you are. There you go. 217 00:10:37,009 --> 00:10:40,899 All right. It's just about probability, it's not a big deal. 218 00:10:40,899 --> 00:10:43,819 Is there anything you can't turn your hand to, Stephen? Now it's magic. 219 00:10:43,819 --> 00:10:45,940 You haven't seen me turn my hand to anything yet. 220 00:10:45,940 --> 00:10:48,010 And I'll put my cards in, as well. 221 00:10:49,289 --> 00:10:52,019 There we go. All right. And give it all a good shake. 222 00:10:52,019 --> 00:10:53,859 All right, so you take one card out. 223 00:10:53,859 --> 00:10:56,819 Don't look, and if you can put it close to your chest, 224 00:10:56,819 --> 00:10:58,139 but not, no, no, don't look. 225 00:10:58,139 --> 00:11:01,050 I've looked, I know what it is. Well, it doesn't matter. All right. 226 00:11:01,050 --> 00:11:04,459 The point is to shove it close to your chest so that that's where you're going to... 227 00:11:04,459 --> 00:11:06,539 That's not your chest, darling. 228 00:11:06,539 --> 00:11:08,749 The reason to shove it close to your chest is so that 229 00:11:08,749 --> 00:11:10,899 when you reveal it, it's camera height. 230 00:11:10,899 --> 00:11:12,979 Oh, right. That's all it is. 231 00:11:12,979 --> 00:11:15,859 All right. So take one out, feel it, yeah, random. All right. 232 00:11:15,859 --> 00:11:21,009 Magic. Yeah, very good, very good. All right. I'll do the same. All right. All right. 233 00:11:21,009 --> 00:11:23,979 I'll do the same. OK, so the point is it's about probability. 234 00:11:23,979 --> 00:11:26,649 The first card you choose, it could be anything. 235 00:11:26,649 --> 00:11:31,190 The second card, the probability it's going to be the same card is quite small. 236 00:11:31,190 --> 00:11:34,129 And it's even less likely that three cards will be the same, 237 00:11:34,129 --> 00:11:35,829 and so on and so on. 238 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:39,139 The chances that you'd get all the cards the same 239 00:11:39,139 --> 00:11:42,009 is about one in two billion. 240 00:11:42,009 --> 00:11:44,940 Now there is a possibility, 241 00:11:44,940 --> 00:11:48,269 but a very unlikely possibility, that two of the cards will be the same. 242 00:11:48,269 --> 00:11:50,692 OK. So Sandi, you'll reveal your card. 243 00:11:52,607 --> 00:11:54,537 Yours is the six of clubs, all right. Me? 244 00:11:54,537 --> 00:11:56,847 OK, and you reveal yours. Oh, my God! 245 00:11:56,847 --> 00:11:58,724 Oh! 246 00:11:59,967 --> 00:12:02,178 Now Alan. Oh! You reveal yours. 247 00:12:02,178 --> 00:12:03,247 Oh, no, surely not. 248 00:12:03,247 --> 00:12:06,527 No, oh, my God! And mine as well! 249 00:12:06,527 --> 00:12:07,717 Oh, there you go! 250 00:12:07,717 --> 00:12:10,106 Funny, how can that happen? 251 00:12:11,717 --> 00:12:13,087 There it is. 252 00:12:13,087 --> 00:12:15,058 Burn him! He's a witch. 253 00:12:15,058 --> 00:12:16,567 Yeah. There you are. OK. 254 00:12:16,567 --> 00:12:18,168 He's a witch. That's a very good trick. 255 00:12:18,168 --> 00:12:20,977 Thank you very much. That's very good. That's terribly good. 256 00:12:26,847 --> 00:12:28,767 All right, there we are. Fantastic, honestly. 257 00:12:28,767 --> 00:12:31,277 That was really good. Oh, you're sweet, thank you. 258 00:12:31,277 --> 00:12:33,257 It was like Paul Daniels was in the room. 259 00:12:33,257 --> 00:12:34,637 If only he was in the bag. 260 00:12:37,357 --> 00:12:41,817 So the chances were about one in two billion that you'd get all 261 00:12:41,817 --> 00:12:44,918 the cards the same and it just happened this evening. 262 00:12:44,918 --> 00:12:48,251 I'm amazed. So, tell me now, do animals count? 263 00:12:49,767 --> 00:12:54,287 Do you mean in life, in a sort of sociological...? 264 00:12:54,287 --> 00:12:57,357 They count very much, in that sense. They count. 265 00:12:57,357 --> 00:13:00,207 But do they count in the sense of actually...? 266 00:13:00,207 --> 00:13:04,607 From what I know, there are some animals that can count. 267 00:13:04,607 --> 00:13:06,178 Yes, you're right. 268 00:13:06,178 --> 00:13:09,897 They all lined up for Noah. I'm just saying. Yeah. 269 00:13:09,897 --> 00:13:12,117 Yeah, and that's a fact story, a true fact story. 270 00:13:12,117 --> 00:13:15,087 That's a fact story, so... Yeah. You don't hear them fighting. 271 00:13:15,087 --> 00:13:17,637 Have you any thoughts on this side of the room? 272 00:13:17,637 --> 00:13:19,617 Well, I can imagine a monkey can count. 273 00:13:19,617 --> 00:13:21,007 Surely. 274 00:13:21,007 --> 00:13:23,557 There must be a rhesus monkey with an accountancy degree, 275 00:13:23,557 --> 00:13:25,168 there must be. Yeah. 276 00:13:25,168 --> 00:13:28,367 But you're spot on. Not only monkeys, but monkeys certainly are. 277 00:13:28,367 --> 00:13:30,327 Apparently chicks when they hatch 278 00:13:30,327 --> 00:13:32,727 can show some propensity towards being able to count. 279 00:13:32,727 --> 00:13:34,487 One, two, three, four, five, chicks. 280 00:13:34,487 --> 00:13:38,437 Because you can see their heads counting, can't you, they're like one, two, three, four. 281 00:13:38,437 --> 00:13:42,007 Well, let me give you a list of some of the animals that have been 282 00:13:42,007 --> 00:13:43,437 spotted counting. 283 00:13:43,437 --> 00:13:47,537 Pigeons, parrots, raccoons, ferrets, rats, salamanders, honeybees, 284 00:13:47,537 --> 00:13:49,277 monkeys and apes 285 00:13:49,277 --> 00:13:53,617 have all been seen to count, add and subtract. 286 00:13:53,617 --> 00:13:55,857 Rhesus monkeys - funny you should mention them - 287 00:13:55,857 --> 00:14:00,687 at Columbia University have shown they can arrange up to nine objects in the correct numerical sequence. 288 00:14:00,687 --> 00:14:03,287 It's always rhesus monkeys. Do you not feel sorry for them? 289 00:14:03,287 --> 00:14:07,357 They're always saying, oh, let's teach them to speak French, or... Yeah, you're right. 290 00:14:07,357 --> 00:14:09,617 Crows and parrots can count up to five or six. 291 00:14:09,617 --> 00:14:12,497 Cormorants can count up to seven. Now how do you know that? 292 00:14:12,497 --> 00:14:15,007 They take seven fish back to the nest. 293 00:14:15,007 --> 00:14:16,798 Not quite that. Something like that. 294 00:14:16,798 --> 00:14:20,188 Actually, Chinese fishermen have trained them to catch fish for them. 295 00:14:20,188 --> 00:14:23,287 And what they do is they put a ring round their throat, 296 00:14:23,287 --> 00:14:25,767 so that they can't swallow fish themselves. 297 00:14:25,767 --> 00:14:30,178 So they catch the fish, but dump them on the deck of the boat. 298 00:14:30,178 --> 00:14:34,687 And how they've trained them is that once they get past seven, on 299 00:14:34,687 --> 00:14:39,087 the eighth they get rid of the ring and the cormorant can catch its own. 300 00:14:39,087 --> 00:14:42,058 I love that, when they make up their own mind. 301 00:14:42,058 --> 00:14:44,808 There used to be a bear at Regent's Park Zoo in the 1920s 302 00:14:44,808 --> 00:14:47,407 that was fed biscuits by the general public. 303 00:14:47,407 --> 00:14:50,287 And on Mondays it was half price and so they got a lot more biscuits. 304 00:14:50,287 --> 00:14:52,407 And so on Tuesdays the bear used to take day the off. 305 00:14:52,407 --> 00:14:54,537 Yes, that's it. 306 00:14:54,537 --> 00:14:57,007 He counted days, or she counted days - ursine calendar. 307 00:14:57,007 --> 00:14:58,257 It's brilliant. 308 00:14:58,257 --> 00:15:00,798 But I suppose it's when in need, like you wouldn't be needing 309 00:15:00,798 --> 00:15:03,207 to count up stuff if you're a bear, like, you're not... 310 00:15:03,207 --> 00:15:06,967 But sometimes you'll see, maybe they need to count how many kids they have. 311 00:15:06,967 --> 00:15:08,247 Yes, yeah. 312 00:15:08,247 --> 00:15:11,127 And they can tell if one of them has gone missing. 313 00:15:11,127 --> 00:15:15,207 Although ducks are rubbish at that, they are. I live on a house boat for many, many years, 314 00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:18,407 and we're forever trying to get baby ducks to join back up 315 00:15:18,407 --> 00:15:20,257 with Mother, who'd just gone off. 316 00:15:20,257 --> 00:15:21,918 She was off down to Battersea. 317 00:15:21,918 --> 00:15:25,048 Sandi, loads of your stories of what you do for entertainment are like, 318 00:15:25,048 --> 00:15:28,457 we used to try and convince ducks to hang out with each other... 319 00:15:28,457 --> 00:15:31,257 I suffer from a fatal condition, Aisling, 320 00:15:31,257 --> 00:15:33,257 which is posh voice, no money. 321 00:15:39,617 --> 00:15:42,768 That sounds absolutely awful, I would hate to have that. 322 00:15:44,007 --> 00:15:46,798 What's funny about this, though, is that birds have got tiny, 323 00:15:46,798 --> 00:15:50,697 tiny brains. Really, you would expect nothing of a bird. Mmm. 324 00:15:50,697 --> 00:15:53,497 And yet some of the primates have got quite big brains. 325 00:15:53,497 --> 00:15:55,687 You'd think they'd be more than counting and yet 326 00:15:55,687 --> 00:15:58,647 they don't seem to be doing more than count to five, like the birds. 327 00:15:58,647 --> 00:16:00,928 I don't think it's anything to do with the brain 328 00:16:00,928 --> 00:16:03,127 because I remember being in the desert in Africa 329 00:16:03,127 --> 00:16:06,617 and there were ants I was shown who apparently work out their shadow 330 00:16:06,617 --> 00:16:09,447 and the angle of the sun in order to get their path back home. 331 00:16:09,447 --> 00:16:11,687 Now, really, that's kind of trigonometry, isn't it? 332 00:16:11,687 --> 00:16:14,087 And you wouldn't think an ant would be doing it. 333 00:16:14,087 --> 00:16:17,377 But they actually use their own shadow to work out... 334 00:16:17,377 --> 00:16:19,257 to calculate their route. 335 00:16:19,257 --> 00:16:22,297 Yes, and there are mosquito fish, which is a kind of carp, 336 00:16:22,297 --> 00:16:24,617 and they are able to count, it seems. 337 00:16:24,617 --> 00:16:28,048 If they are harassed by a male they take refuge in a shoal 338 00:16:28,048 --> 00:16:29,437 of other mosquito fish. 339 00:16:29,437 --> 00:16:31,048 They can count on their female... 340 00:16:31,048 --> 00:16:35,167 Yeah, but they detect the difference between just one or two or 341 00:16:35,167 --> 00:16:37,257 two or three or three or four. They can't tell 342 00:16:37,257 --> 00:16:40,417 the difference between four or five, so, you know, it's basically 343 00:16:40,417 --> 00:16:43,907 a small amount they can tell and they hide in the largest number. 344 00:16:43,907 --> 00:16:47,808 It may be because the male mosquito fish has the largest penis 345 00:16:47,808 --> 00:16:51,217 of any fish relative to its body. Oh, God. 346 00:16:51,217 --> 00:16:52,977 It's 70% of its length. 347 00:16:52,977 --> 00:16:54,357 And it's barbed. 348 00:16:54,357 --> 00:16:56,808 I don't think it's possible to come on this programme 349 00:16:56,808 --> 00:16:58,457 and not discuss the penis. 350 00:16:58,457 --> 00:17:03,257 No, it isn't. Not while I've got a breath in my body, Sandi! 351 00:17:08,447 --> 00:17:13,647 Now, why don't bankers give a damn what people think of them? 352 00:17:13,647 --> 00:17:16,637 Because they're psychopaths and they lack empathy. 353 00:17:16,637 --> 00:17:20,167 Something like one in ten people who work on Wall Street have 354 00:17:20,167 --> 00:17:23,567 psychopathic tendencies. Apparently. Yes, it's true, yes. 355 00:17:23,567 --> 00:17:26,607 But that leaves 90% perfectly fine, doesn't it? Yeah. 356 00:17:26,607 --> 00:17:31,647 It must be because in their world it all seems fine, what they do. 357 00:17:31,647 --> 00:17:34,657 That's probably true. But there's a funny thing about money. 358 00:17:34,657 --> 00:17:36,607 Are you aware of that Hollywood phrase? 359 00:17:36,607 --> 00:17:38,928 I think it was William Goldman - "follow the money". 360 00:17:38,928 --> 00:17:41,058 You follow the money when you watch a movie. 361 00:17:41,058 --> 00:17:43,367 So if you see a movie and someone, you know, 362 00:17:43,367 --> 00:17:46,068 has a suitcase of money, everyone... 363 00:17:46,068 --> 00:17:49,287 You can register it, watch their eyes move - 364 00:17:49,287 --> 00:17:52,808 people watch the money. You can't help it, it's very human. 365 00:17:52,808 --> 00:17:55,704 You know, the first time you get a load of cash in your hand, 366 00:17:55,704 --> 00:17:58,722 which occasionally I have, it's just... That's the point. 367 00:17:58,722 --> 00:18:00,072 You know that scene in... 368 00:18:00,072 --> 00:18:02,962 What's the one where Demi Moore rolls around the bed on the money? 369 00:18:02,962 --> 00:18:06,342 Indecent Proposal. And she puts... I've done that... 370 00:18:08,722 --> 00:18:12,482 Which William Goldman was... ..with 40 quid. But it does feel... 371 00:18:12,482 --> 00:18:14,461 If you get a... In change. 372 00:18:16,972 --> 00:18:18,872 And that's the point of our... 373 00:18:18,872 --> 00:18:21,872 That's the point of our question. 374 00:18:21,872 --> 00:18:26,242 The physical proximity to money changes the way you feel. 375 00:18:26,242 --> 00:18:30,652 It seems that you can prove that being close to money makes you 376 00:18:30,652 --> 00:18:32,803 care less about what people think of you. 377 00:18:32,803 --> 00:18:35,082 That must be quite a new thing, cos money's quite new. 378 00:18:35,082 --> 00:18:37,882 There used to be like... You used to, when you had a good night, 379 00:18:37,882 --> 00:18:39,732 come home and throw chickens on yourself 380 00:18:39,732 --> 00:18:41,006 because that was how you... 381 00:18:42,522 --> 00:18:44,332 But now it's cash. 382 00:18:44,332 --> 00:18:46,562 But let me take you through the experiment. 383 00:18:46,562 --> 00:18:49,402 Test subjects were asked who they wanted to work with. 384 00:18:49,402 --> 00:18:52,652 They were told randomly either that everyone else wanted to work 385 00:18:52,652 --> 00:18:55,242 with them or they were told that nobody did. 386 00:18:55,242 --> 00:19:00,242 So half the subjects felt rejected by their peers, half felt reinforced. 387 00:19:00,242 --> 00:19:03,872 Now, some of the subjects had been previously exposed to money 388 00:19:03,872 --> 00:19:06,803 and they were just told it was a test for manual dexterity - 389 00:19:06,803 --> 00:19:09,522 could you count out this money very fast? 390 00:19:09,522 --> 00:19:12,212 And the other half were asked the same question, 391 00:19:12,212 --> 00:19:14,432 but it was bits of blank paper. 392 00:19:14,432 --> 00:19:17,872 The ones who had handled the money were not offended 393 00:19:17,872 --> 00:19:20,722 when told that nobody wanted to work with them. 394 00:19:20,722 --> 00:19:23,882 The ones that had handled the paper were offended. 395 00:19:23,882 --> 00:19:25,418 I've got a Scottish fiver. 396 00:19:28,082 --> 00:19:30,372 Coming here, trying to buy England! 397 00:19:36,002 --> 00:19:40,722 It's a status thing, maybe it makes you feel more important. Exactly. 398 00:19:40,722 --> 00:19:43,602 I think it can make you feel safer. Even if it isn't yours, yeah. 399 00:19:43,602 --> 00:19:46,522 Because you can buy your way out of any trouble, as we all know. 400 00:19:46,522 --> 00:19:49,696 It's just, you just buy your way out, as I... Yep. 401 00:19:52,082 --> 00:19:55,522 So it makes you feel, erm, safer, I think, perhaps. Yeah. 402 00:19:55,522 --> 00:19:56,732 It's weird, isn't it? 403 00:19:56,732 --> 00:20:00,522 And they also used money to test people feigning blindness. 404 00:20:00,522 --> 00:20:02,162 If someone says, "I'm blind," 405 00:20:02,162 --> 00:20:05,012 they go, "All right, let's test your blindness." 406 00:20:05,012 --> 00:20:08,412 "Can't see anything." "Read this." "Can't see it." 407 00:20:08,412 --> 00:20:12,007 Then you wave a £50 note in front of them, they go, "Oh, wow." 408 00:20:13,722 --> 00:20:14,962 A £5 doesn't work, 409 00:20:14,962 --> 00:20:17,522 but a £50 note is almost impossible for you not to look at it. 410 00:20:17,522 --> 00:20:20,492 This is clearly a test not done by the NHS, who don't have a £50 note. 411 00:20:20,492 --> 00:20:23,602 Well, there was an ophthalmic optician who didn't, so instead 412 00:20:23,602 --> 00:20:27,882 he put a Post-it Note on his forehead saying "go fuck yourself". 413 00:20:27,882 --> 00:20:31,242 And similarly, people couldn't help looking at it. 414 00:20:31,242 --> 00:20:34,642 Now, what illegal substance can be found in the pockets 415 00:20:34,642 --> 00:20:36,372 of most of our audience? 416 00:20:36,372 --> 00:20:38,135 How did it get there? Cocaine. 417 00:20:39,492 --> 00:20:40,642 Cos it's on banknotes. 418 00:20:40,642 --> 00:20:43,242 Is the right answer. Yes! Yes, absolutely. 419 00:20:45,813 --> 00:20:47,362 Most of our audience... 420 00:20:47,362 --> 00:20:50,012 Most of our audience have residue of cocaine in their... 421 00:20:50,012 --> 00:20:52,732 I can see everyone shuffling around... 422 00:20:52,732 --> 00:20:54,492 They're licking their money. 423 00:20:54,492 --> 00:21:01,012 More than 99% of banknotes in circulation have detectable cocaine. 424 00:21:01,012 --> 00:21:02,852 What?! Yes. 425 00:21:02,852 --> 00:21:06,652 It's why drug dogs sometimes have difficulty in identifying. 426 00:21:06,652 --> 00:21:09,732 Cos I get the sleeper train home and there's always a drug dog there. 427 00:21:09,732 --> 00:21:12,772 Not for me, it's just a... It's because it's a good way 428 00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:16,562 of smuggling drugs up to... up north, the sleeper train. 429 00:21:16,562 --> 00:21:21,372 You don't want to go on the train. You want to get an actual mule. 430 00:21:21,372 --> 00:21:26,082 Nobody is going to expect somebody to have drugs on a mule 431 00:21:26,082 --> 00:21:29,612 because it's too obvious, isn't it? 432 00:21:29,612 --> 00:21:32,442 I'd love somebody arriving into Glasgow on a mule. 433 00:21:32,442 --> 00:21:34,292 On a mule. Nothing to see. 434 00:21:34,292 --> 00:21:35,803 AISLING: All right, lads? 435 00:21:37,172 --> 00:21:40,082 Can you clean it off? I mean, I don't want it. Not really, no. 436 00:21:40,082 --> 00:21:43,092 Paper. Put a hairdryer over it and you can blow the dust off, maybe. 437 00:21:43,092 --> 00:21:45,292 That won't do it. There used to be a hotel, Stephen, 438 00:21:45,292 --> 00:21:48,162 in New York, where the concierge was famous for washing the coins. 439 00:21:48,162 --> 00:21:50,412 If you didn't like the coins in your pocket, I believe 440 00:21:50,412 --> 00:21:52,362 he would put them in a jar and wash them for you. 441 00:21:52,362 --> 00:21:53,702 I can't think which one it was. 442 00:21:53,702 --> 00:21:55,652 Are there hotels where they don't do that? 443 00:21:57,572 --> 00:22:00,422 I don't know, I have no money, I have no idea. 444 00:22:00,422 --> 00:22:03,132 Now, let's leave the filthy moolah. 445 00:22:03,132 --> 00:22:05,662 What do moon-starers do, 446 00:22:05,662 --> 00:22:08,442 and why might they call themselves that? 447 00:22:08,442 --> 00:22:10,602 Well, the clue would appear to be in the question. 448 00:22:10,602 --> 00:22:12,162 Yeah. 449 00:22:12,162 --> 00:22:16,132 It's too obvious, I'd say they watch bare arses all the time. 450 00:22:16,132 --> 00:22:20,732 Yeah. Well, moon-starers is an anagram of astronomers. 451 00:22:20,732 --> 00:22:22,602 Yay! Points to you. Good work. 452 00:22:26,092 --> 00:22:27,962 Good work! That was damn fast. 453 00:22:27,962 --> 00:22:30,532 It's not an anagram, it's an aptagram. Sorry. 454 00:22:30,532 --> 00:22:32,512 Oh! You're right, yeah. 455 00:22:32,512 --> 00:22:35,012 I'll never win, Sandi Toksvig, never! 456 00:22:35,012 --> 00:22:37,282 What's an aptagram, Sandi? 457 00:22:37,282 --> 00:22:39,442 An aptagram is an anagram that, where the word 458 00:22:39,442 --> 00:22:41,092 means roughly the same. 459 00:22:41,092 --> 00:22:44,322 Like Apple Macintosh and laptop machines. 460 00:22:44,322 --> 00:22:46,602 Yeah. Semolina - is no meal. 461 00:22:46,602 --> 00:22:47,933 Yeah. 462 00:22:47,933 --> 00:22:50,422 Yes, moon-starer is an anagram of astronomer. 463 00:22:50,422 --> 00:22:54,532 In what time in history was that a relevant thing, 464 00:22:54,532 --> 00:22:57,803 the idea of anagrams and astronomers? 465 00:22:57,803 --> 00:23:00,813 Well, it must have been around the time of Galileo, surely. 466 00:23:00,813 --> 00:23:03,092 It was indeed, the early 17th century. 467 00:23:03,092 --> 00:23:04,972 But he wouldn't have spoken English, 468 00:23:04,972 --> 00:23:07,852 so why would he have changed his name to moon-starer? 469 00:23:07,852 --> 00:23:10,132 Yeah, this is an example of an anagram. He... 470 00:23:10,132 --> 00:23:11,442 Oh! 471 00:23:11,442 --> 00:23:13,945 He didn't use English anagrams, he used...? 472 00:23:15,372 --> 00:23:17,772 Gree...Latin. 473 00:23:17,772 --> 00:23:21,302 Latin, very good. There he is. 474 00:23:21,302 --> 00:23:25,172 Why would they have used ars magna, great art, in that? 475 00:23:25,172 --> 00:23:27,933 Oh, and that's moon is the ars. And ars magna is? 476 00:23:27,933 --> 00:23:30,962 And then magna is... Is an anagram of anagrams. 477 00:23:30,962 --> 00:23:32,492 ALL: Oh. 478 00:23:32,492 --> 00:23:36,092 So, yes. But anyway, why... Well, because the Church took a dim view of... 479 00:23:36,092 --> 00:23:39,292 Not because of the Church, although the Church did take a dim view of what he did. 480 00:23:39,292 --> 00:23:41,492 I like his very casual approach to the telescope. 481 00:23:41,492 --> 00:23:43,332 He's just sort of... Yeah. 482 00:23:43,332 --> 00:23:46,092 Now I'm going to have a cigarette and now I'm going to look again. 483 00:23:46,092 --> 00:23:48,142 Was it just to make the whole thing more fun? 484 00:23:48,142 --> 00:23:49,852 If only it was that. 485 00:23:49,852 --> 00:23:53,322 In fact, even in his day, there was scientific rivalry. 486 00:23:53,322 --> 00:23:54,892 So if you discovered something 487 00:23:54,892 --> 00:23:57,372 and you wanted to tell a friend about it and you didn't want 488 00:23:57,372 --> 00:24:01,492 anyone else to intercept the news, you gave it in anagram form. 489 00:24:01,492 --> 00:24:02,852 Oh, it's like codes at school. 490 00:24:02,852 --> 00:24:04,362 Yes, it is. Exactly that, yeah. 491 00:24:04,362 --> 00:24:07,292 Do you think they ever used to, like, rub around the telescope with 492 00:24:07,292 --> 00:24:10,092 ink and then run away and then he'll go, "Oh, what's that? 493 00:24:10,092 --> 00:24:12,252 "Oh, no, my eye! Oh, that's trickery." 494 00:24:12,252 --> 00:24:14,452 Who was his great rival and friend? 495 00:24:14,452 --> 00:24:15,892 Is it an anagram? 496 00:24:15,892 --> 00:24:17,332 I'm going to say Copernicus. 497 00:24:17,332 --> 00:24:19,782 No, no, it wasn't Copernicus. It was Kepler. 498 00:24:19,782 --> 00:24:21,322 And he sent him an anagram 499 00:24:21,322 --> 00:24:24,803 because he had discovered the rings of Saturn in 1610. 500 00:24:26,142 --> 00:24:28,082 No, not Saturn, that's Uranus! 501 00:24:28,082 --> 00:24:31,222 Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'm laughing at the wrong one. 502 00:24:33,943 --> 00:24:37,292 It's not the right planet, but it's still funny. I knew one of them was funny. 503 00:24:37,292 --> 00:24:39,442 And he sent Kepler this. 504 00:24:41,242 --> 00:24:42,662 Oh, my! Ah, "smaismrm..." 505 00:24:42,662 --> 00:24:44,442 Oh. Yeah. Yes. 506 00:24:44,442 --> 00:24:45,862 "Nugttauriras..." Great. 507 00:24:45,862 --> 00:24:47,732 Stick that where the sun don't shine. 508 00:24:47,732 --> 00:24:50,522 It's pretty obvious what he's putting there. Yeah. 509 00:24:50,522 --> 00:24:54,252 That's... I feel embarrassed asking you to say what it is. 510 00:24:54,252 --> 00:24:55,882 I feel bad. 511 00:24:55,882 --> 00:24:58,362 It's more important that the audience work it out. 512 00:24:58,362 --> 00:25:01,402 Yeah, you're right. I don't want to spoil the joy for them all. 513 00:25:01,402 --> 00:25:02,502 You're right. 514 00:25:02,502 --> 00:25:04,852 It's a Latin phrase, it actually is an anagram... 515 00:25:04,852 --> 00:25:06,852 I have discovered the rings of Saturn. 516 00:25:06,852 --> 00:25:12,532 Yes, it is that. Altissimum planetam tergeminum observavi. 517 00:25:12,532 --> 00:25:15,052 OK. "I have observed the highest planet to be triplets." 518 00:25:15,052 --> 00:25:19,492 Seen it. I know. Does he mean he's seen the moons of it, or something? What does he mean by triplets? 519 00:25:19,492 --> 00:25:22,242 He thought they were moons, but in fact we now know them to be rings. 520 00:25:22,242 --> 00:25:24,962 That must have been so exciting. Do you not think? 521 00:25:24,962 --> 00:25:27,402 It must have been so thrilling, just that one moment 522 00:25:27,402 --> 00:25:30,402 when that suddenly has happened and nobody else has seen it. 523 00:25:30,402 --> 00:25:33,582 I think it's quite clever, but they worked out they're planets 524 00:25:33,582 --> 00:25:36,582 because they were moving across the sky and the stars weren't. 525 00:25:36,582 --> 00:25:39,683 I think it was just the first thing that made them think something was afoot. 526 00:25:39,683 --> 00:25:42,892 Oh, I know, and that's what... That one's moved. Why has that star moved? 527 00:25:42,892 --> 00:25:45,022 It's not a star, it's Jupiter. Yeah. 528 00:25:45,022 --> 00:25:47,943 And planet is from the Greek for wanderer, it means a wanderer. Oh. 529 00:25:47,943 --> 00:25:50,452 They do this thing, I don't know if they're still doing it, 530 00:25:50,452 --> 00:25:53,022 but they did it for a long time, once a month in Reykjavik, 531 00:25:53,022 --> 00:25:55,693 the government would turn out all the street lighting 532 00:25:55,693 --> 00:25:59,402 and there would be a lecture on the public radio about the stars. 533 00:25:59,402 --> 00:26:01,252 And people would go outside. Oh, brilliant. 534 00:26:01,252 --> 00:26:04,882 And they got rid of all the ambient light and you could look up and listen to the lecture 535 00:26:04,882 --> 00:26:09,402 about what you were looking at. Do you not think that would be a wonderful thing? That is brilliant. 536 00:26:09,402 --> 00:26:13,092 Yeah. Yeah, I love that. But in terms of anagrams, this isn't an anagram, it's actually 537 00:26:13,092 --> 00:26:18,212 a limerick composed by someone, which I invite you to recite to me. 538 00:26:18,212 --> 00:26:19,612 See if you can. 539 00:26:19,612 --> 00:26:20,742 Uh? 540 00:26:20,742 --> 00:26:22,962 Yes. That's a shock, isn't it? 541 00:26:22,962 --> 00:26:25,012 Yes. And you can do it. 542 00:26:25,012 --> 00:26:27,252 Can you? Yes. Yep. Yes, you can, it is a limerick. 543 00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:28,803 OK. OK. Right. 544 00:26:28,803 --> 00:26:31,372 You have to ask yourself what these number are, in fact. 545 00:26:31,372 --> 00:26:33,332 They have some other... A dozen and 12 dozen. 546 00:26:33,332 --> 00:26:36,452 Ah! Yeah, 12, but 144 is also called a...? 547 00:26:36,452 --> 00:26:38,012 A gross. 548 00:26:38,012 --> 00:26:41,762 So a dozen, a gross, a score, 549 00:26:41,762 --> 00:26:46,092 plus three times the square root of four... 550 00:26:46,092 --> 00:26:48,662 ..divided by seven. You're all right, you're doing well. 551 00:26:48,662 --> 00:26:50,322 Plus five. 552 00:26:50,322 --> 00:26:53,742 Well, calm down. I might have to slap you. 553 00:26:53,742 --> 00:26:55,027 Yes! 554 00:26:57,683 --> 00:26:58,772 Are you all right? 555 00:26:58,772 --> 00:27:01,889 The episode of QI where Stephen just slaps me. 556 00:27:03,082 --> 00:27:05,302 It's not enough to be a limerick, it has to be true. 557 00:27:05,302 --> 00:27:07,092 What's nine squared? 558 00:27:07,092 --> 00:27:08,902 81. Yeah. 559 00:27:08,902 --> 00:27:12,022 And as you know, 560 00:27:12,022 --> 00:27:17,372 x the square root of four ÷ 7 + 5 x 11 is 81. 561 00:27:19,572 --> 00:27:22,612 No, 81. So, say it again now as a limerick. You can do it now. 562 00:27:22,612 --> 00:27:24,694 Yes, yes. Go on. Go on, then, Susan. Argh! 563 00:27:25,943 --> 00:27:27,132 A dozen... A dozen... 564 00:27:27,132 --> 00:27:29,182 A dozen, a gross and a score 565 00:27:29,182 --> 00:27:32,012 Plus three times the square root of four 566 00:27:32,012 --> 00:27:33,693 Divided by seven 567 00:27:33,693 --> 00:27:35,542 Plus five times eleven 568 00:27:35,542 --> 00:27:38,972 Equals nine squared plus not a bit more. 569 00:27:38,972 --> 00:27:40,492 There you are, well done! 570 00:27:46,762 --> 00:27:49,772 It was a guy called Leigh Mercer who came up with that. It's rather good. 571 00:27:49,772 --> 00:27:52,742 12 + 1 = 11 + 2. It does. 572 00:27:52,742 --> 00:27:56,452 Yeah, but in what other ways does 12 + 1 = 11 + 2? 573 00:27:56,452 --> 00:27:59,452 Oh, is it an anagram, then? They're anagrams of each other. 574 00:27:59,452 --> 00:28:03,972 "Twelve plus one" written out is an anagram of "eleven plus two". 575 00:28:03,972 --> 00:28:07,412 Wow, you really have had too much time on your hands. 576 00:28:07,412 --> 00:28:11,412 These were worked out by Nelson Mandela on Robben Island. 577 00:28:11,412 --> 00:28:15,222 I think they're rather fabulous, so there. They're marvellous. 578 00:28:15,222 --> 00:28:17,172 All right, OK. 579 00:28:17,172 --> 00:28:21,052 Now, what's the biggest mistake anyone's ever made with a pencil? 580 00:28:21,052 --> 00:28:22,372 Hmm. 581 00:28:22,372 --> 00:28:23,852 Oh, I say. 582 00:28:23,852 --> 00:28:26,372 Oh, no, it's got to be a miscalculation or something. 583 00:28:26,372 --> 00:28:28,172 Well, ah, you'd... "Ah, aah..." 584 00:28:28,172 --> 00:28:29,742 "Yeah. Aah..." 585 00:28:29,742 --> 00:28:32,742 MORE IMPRESSION: "Aah, aah, now, now..." 586 00:28:32,742 --> 00:28:34,762 Lead poisoning? Sucking on the lead? "Steady." 587 00:28:34,762 --> 00:28:37,182 It's not a, it's not a historical miscalculation? 588 00:28:37,182 --> 00:28:38,813 No, it's astonishing. 589 00:28:38,813 --> 00:28:40,842 It took place in New York... 590 00:28:40,842 --> 00:28:42,302 ..in the '90s, I think it was. 591 00:28:42,302 --> 00:28:44,772 I'll tell you exactly... All right, Stephen? 592 00:28:44,772 --> 00:28:46,532 Was that a pencil there? 593 00:28:46,532 --> 00:28:47,892 Yeah. Just testing... 594 00:28:47,892 --> 00:28:49,951 Were you miscalculating with a pencil there, sir? 595 00:28:51,052 --> 00:28:52,417 I eased it in. 596 00:28:54,022 --> 00:28:56,982 I eased it in and it was all fine. 597 00:28:56,982 --> 00:28:59,485 Chapter four, I eased it in and it was all fine. 598 00:29:01,052 --> 00:29:03,662 In 1998, there was a problem with pencils. 599 00:29:03,662 --> 00:29:06,542 "Problem with pencils." "Problem with pencils." 600 00:29:06,542 --> 00:29:08,892 "A pencil problem," basically, yeah. 601 00:29:08,892 --> 00:29:11,742 There's no reason for you to guess what it was. 602 00:29:11,742 --> 00:29:16,052 I went to the Pencil Museum in Keswick. What a museum that is! 603 00:29:16,052 --> 00:29:18,302 Ah. No, it's seriously... 604 00:29:18,302 --> 00:29:21,252 They've got a hall of fame of famous people that have visited. 605 00:29:21,252 --> 00:29:24,662 Phill Jupitus is on it. I've been there. It is a very good museum. 606 00:29:24,662 --> 00:29:27,492 It's a fabulous place. Ah, fabulous. It's not that. 607 00:29:27,492 --> 00:29:29,762 It was pencils given to children. 608 00:29:29,762 --> 00:29:31,772 Ah, drugs. Was it the one...? 609 00:29:31,772 --> 00:29:33,103 Time for drugs! 610 00:29:35,012 --> 00:29:37,322 I know what it was, they printed, for children, 611 00:29:37,322 --> 00:29:39,953 pencils that said "do not use drugs" on them, 612 00:29:39,953 --> 00:29:42,892 and when they sharpened them, eventually it said "use drugs." 613 00:29:42,892 --> 00:29:44,332 Oh, you've dropped one. Ah. 614 00:29:44,332 --> 00:29:46,182 You're right. Very good, very good. 615 00:29:46,182 --> 00:29:48,782 Here they are. That's "hil-ah-rious". 616 00:29:48,782 --> 00:29:52,462 They say here, "Too cool to do drugs." 617 00:29:52,462 --> 00:29:55,302 You shave it and it goes, "cool to do drugs." 618 00:29:55,302 --> 00:29:57,182 "Cool to do drugs." 619 00:29:57,182 --> 00:29:59,953 And then you shave it again and it goes, "do drugs." 620 00:29:59,953 --> 00:30:01,772 Yes! Do drugs. There you are. 621 00:30:01,772 --> 00:30:04,813 It was a bit of a mistake, 622 00:30:04,813 --> 00:30:08,532 but well done, Sandi. So, other mistakes include, in 1945, 623 00:30:08,532 --> 00:30:13,892 the Arkansas legislature accidentally repealed all their laws at once. 624 00:30:13,892 --> 00:30:15,212 With a pencil? 625 00:30:15,212 --> 00:30:20,015 No, they had an act with the words - "All laws and parts of laws, 626 00:30:20,015 --> 00:30:24,835 "and particularly Act 33 of the Acts of 1941, are hereby repealed." 627 00:30:24,835 --> 00:30:30,475 They just meant the particular one, but it legally meant all their laws. 628 00:30:30,475 --> 00:30:34,556 And then in 2003, the German agency responsible for TV licences 629 00:30:34,556 --> 00:30:39,687 sent a series of reminders to St Walpurga, to pay her licence fee. 630 00:30:41,395 --> 00:30:43,659 She died in 777. 631 00:30:44,936 --> 00:30:47,655 Never having paid for her licence! 632 00:30:47,655 --> 00:30:49,556 No. It didn't stop them asking. 633 00:30:49,556 --> 00:30:52,195 And then in the Australian Morning Bulletin, 634 00:30:52,195 --> 00:30:55,195 which of course is called The Bully, 635 00:30:55,195 --> 00:30:57,645 they said there was an error 636 00:30:57,645 --> 00:31:01,725 printed in a story titled Pigs Float Down The Dawson, on page 637 00:31:01,725 --> 00:31:05,765 11 of yesterday's Bully. The story, by reporter Daniel Burdon, said 638 00:31:05,765 --> 00:31:10,115 that "more than 30,000 pigs were floating down the Dawson River." 639 00:31:10,115 --> 00:31:13,445 Actually, what the owner of the piggery said was, 640 00:31:13,445 --> 00:31:15,605 that "30 sows and pigs". 641 00:31:20,835 --> 00:31:23,195 "We'd like to apologise for the error." 642 00:31:23,195 --> 00:31:26,395 Rather tragically, a group of volunteers in 1992 in France, 643 00:31:26,395 --> 00:31:29,926 who had volunteered to get rid of graffiti in the caves. 644 00:31:29,926 --> 00:31:34,075 And they had a great big scrub away at a cave and... Oh... 645 00:31:34,075 --> 00:31:36,185 Oh, no, not ancient cave paintings! 646 00:31:36,185 --> 00:31:39,085 ..got rid of a 15,000-year-old bison painting. Oh, no! 647 00:31:39,085 --> 00:31:40,365 Exactly! 648 00:31:40,365 --> 00:31:44,595 You'd be really kicking yourself after that. Yeah. Oops! Yeah. 649 00:31:44,595 --> 00:31:47,885 I was telling you about the law in Ireland recently. 650 00:31:47,885 --> 00:31:49,676 There were two within the one week. 651 00:31:49,676 --> 00:31:53,285 The first one was where drugs were legal for 48 hours. Oh, yes. 652 00:31:53,285 --> 00:31:55,926 And people, like, just went nuts. Well, they didn't go nuts. 653 00:31:55,926 --> 00:31:58,235 The said, "We're going to go nuts, but we won't really, 654 00:31:58,235 --> 00:31:59,676 "just in case we get in trouble." 655 00:31:59,676 --> 00:32:03,915 And then the other one was the translation of the Marriage Act 656 00:32:03,915 --> 00:32:07,375 in English, the translation in Gaelic... Mmm. 657 00:32:07,375 --> 00:32:09,796 ..technically, because of the way it was worded, 658 00:32:09,796 --> 00:32:12,955 forbid marriage between a man and a woman. 659 00:32:12,955 --> 00:32:16,095 It said "marriage is between men or women, 660 00:32:16,095 --> 00:32:18,475 "but it's not between men and women." 661 00:32:18,475 --> 00:32:20,445 So it technically made all marriage illegal. 662 00:32:20,445 --> 00:32:22,115 They had to twist that one as well. 663 00:32:22,115 --> 00:32:25,485 So, now, why did a failure to sell mirrors 664 00:32:25,485 --> 00:32:28,556 massively improve modern media? 665 00:32:28,556 --> 00:32:30,755 Because you can't put a mirror on a selfie stick. 666 00:32:30,755 --> 00:32:32,035 Is that it? 667 00:32:32,035 --> 00:32:35,015 Well, selfies, oddly enough, are rather close to it. 668 00:32:35,015 --> 00:32:38,745 A medieval version of selfies, at least. Medieval? 669 00:32:38,745 --> 00:32:42,005 We're going back to the mid-15th century. 670 00:32:42,005 --> 00:32:44,365 People used to go on...? Pilgrimages. 671 00:32:44,365 --> 00:32:45,765 Pilgrimages. 672 00:32:45,765 --> 00:32:51,005 And a pilgrimage was a visit to a holy place, where there would be... 673 00:32:51,005 --> 00:32:52,816 Sandwiches. 674 00:32:52,816 --> 00:32:55,395 There would be sandwiches, but what were you going to see? 675 00:32:55,395 --> 00:32:58,085 Some kind of shrine or something. Shrine, a shrine, relics. 676 00:32:58,085 --> 00:33:00,485 Shrine. Oh, relics. Relics. I love a good relic. 677 00:33:00,485 --> 00:33:03,475 Bones, material, bits of beard, bits of body, 678 00:33:03,475 --> 00:33:06,325 bits of the true cross, bits of all kinds of stuff. 679 00:33:06,325 --> 00:33:09,265 Porn. Yeah. And they were so popular that you might go there 680 00:33:09,265 --> 00:33:11,745 and you couldn't even get close to it. 681 00:33:11,745 --> 00:33:13,535 So you'd hold up a selfie stick, as it were. 682 00:33:13,535 --> 00:33:15,475 It wouldn't be a selfie stick. 683 00:33:15,475 --> 00:33:19,085 It would be a box with a lid and the lid was a mirror. 684 00:33:19,085 --> 00:33:22,325 And the mirror would see the relic. 685 00:33:22,325 --> 00:33:25,095 And the beams and the rays would hit the mirror 686 00:33:25,095 --> 00:33:28,405 and go down into the box and you'd close the box and you'd go home 687 00:33:28,405 --> 00:33:33,085 and it contained the images, in your head at least, of the holy relics. 688 00:33:33,085 --> 00:33:35,905 Did it, really? Seriously, one of the best pieces 689 00:33:35,905 --> 00:33:38,735 of medieval marketing I've ever heard. Yeah. 690 00:33:38,735 --> 00:33:42,605 Yes. And this particular man was making mirrors. 691 00:33:42,605 --> 00:33:45,405 And he made these mirrors for Aachen, 692 00:33:45,405 --> 00:33:48,885 and Aachen had Mary's robe from the night Jesus was born. 693 00:33:48,885 --> 00:33:50,725 It had Jesus' swaddling clothes. 694 00:33:50,725 --> 00:33:53,915 It had the cloth in which John the Baptist's head was wrapped, 695 00:33:53,915 --> 00:33:56,165 after he was decapitated. 696 00:33:56,165 --> 00:33:58,475 The loincloth Jesus wore on the cross. 697 00:33:58,475 --> 00:34:02,515 So this person we're talking about made mirrors for pilgrims to 698 00:34:02,515 --> 00:34:06,325 go to Aachen, but unfortunately he didn't sell any. 699 00:34:06,325 --> 00:34:09,605 So he went back to his home town of Mainz, 700 00:34:09,605 --> 00:34:15,915 and in 1450 he produced something that changed the world for ever. 701 00:34:15,915 --> 00:34:21,885 A print, a stamp, a print version, Stephen, of what they'd see in... 702 00:34:21,885 --> 00:34:24,125 Print... And it was stamped. Postcards. 703 00:34:24,125 --> 00:34:26,115 No, Sandi, that's kind of my idea. No. 704 00:34:26,115 --> 00:34:27,765 - Souvenir mugs. - No. 705 00:34:27,765 --> 00:34:30,735 He created printing. He created the printed word. 706 00:34:30,735 --> 00:34:33,325 MAN IN AUDIENCE: Johan Gutenberg. Thank you, audience. 707 00:34:36,995 --> 00:34:40,485 He's Johannes Gutenberg. In 1450, he created the Gutenberg Bible, 708 00:34:40,485 --> 00:34:42,205 and then other books he created. 709 00:34:42,205 --> 00:34:44,095 Oh, yes. It changed the world totally. 710 00:34:44,095 --> 00:34:46,625 But unfortunately, the mistake was he went to basically 711 00:34:46,625 --> 00:34:50,175 a kind of Dragons' Den, who funded him. 712 00:34:50,175 --> 00:34:51,686 He took a wine press, 713 00:34:51,686 --> 00:34:55,375 he converted the wine press into a letter press, to create books. 714 00:34:55,375 --> 00:34:58,195 And then he had a Duncan Bannatyne character, "I'm out. Out." 715 00:34:58,195 --> 00:35:02,045 But his investors... "Don't like it, never take off, I liked your mirrors better. 716 00:35:02,045 --> 00:35:05,735 "No. I'm out." Well, they, unfortunately they took all the money, the investors, 717 00:35:05,735 --> 00:35:10,755 the dragons took all the money. He died destitute in 1468. Very sad. 718 00:35:10,755 --> 00:35:13,605 The most influential figure of his age, in those terms. 719 00:35:13,605 --> 00:35:16,816 One of the first printers in Britain was called Wynkyn de Worde. 720 00:35:16,816 --> 00:35:18,995 Yes, he was. Don't you think that's so delightful? 721 00:35:18,995 --> 00:35:21,735 There's a society, a Wynkyn society. Wynkyn society, yeah. 722 00:35:21,735 --> 00:35:24,085 And then, of course, Caxton was the other great one. 723 00:35:24,085 --> 00:35:25,455 But, yeah. 724 00:35:25,455 --> 00:35:27,375 Before he invented the printing press, 725 00:35:27,375 --> 00:35:29,605 Gutenberg was a failed mirror-maker. 726 00:35:29,605 --> 00:35:33,605 And so we enter the mad world of mangled misconceptions that we 727 00:35:33,605 --> 00:35:35,635 call General Ignorance. 728 00:35:35,635 --> 00:35:38,335 And, given the show's theme, 729 00:35:38,335 --> 00:35:41,635 we've even spent a bit of money on a mathematical machine. 730 00:35:41,635 --> 00:35:43,475 Ooh! 731 00:35:43,475 --> 00:35:45,445 Yeah, you'll be impressed with that. 732 00:35:45,445 --> 00:35:46,635 Ooh. 733 00:35:46,635 --> 00:35:48,995 It looks like a happy face that's taken a lot of drugs. 734 00:35:50,885 --> 00:35:52,635 It does a bit, doesn't it? Yeah. 735 00:35:52,635 --> 00:35:55,325 It's lovely. But what is it, Stephen? 736 00:35:55,325 --> 00:35:57,765 Well, I just want to know who first proved the theorem 737 00:35:57,765 --> 00:35:59,725 that this model demonstrates. 738 00:35:59,725 --> 00:36:01,455 Pythagoras. Pythagoras. 739 00:36:02,755 --> 00:36:04,256 Oh! 740 00:36:07,165 --> 00:36:09,485 My grandfather, who was from Hungary, 741 00:36:09,485 --> 00:36:12,566 always pronounced it "Peeta-goras." 742 00:36:12,566 --> 00:36:14,965 "So that at school doing the mathematics, 743 00:36:14,965 --> 00:36:16,845 "are you studying Peeta-goras?" 744 00:36:16,845 --> 00:36:19,686 And I thought this man, Peter Goras, who was Peter? 745 00:36:19,686 --> 00:36:23,245 No, it wasn't Peter Goras who first proved it. 746 00:36:23,245 --> 00:36:27,125 Oh. What is it, the theorem that needs to be discussed here? 747 00:36:27,125 --> 00:36:29,455 A squared equals B squared plus C squared. 748 00:36:29,455 --> 00:36:32,645 Yeah, yeah, it's... The sum of the two, the squared of two smaller sides. 749 00:36:32,645 --> 00:36:35,686 The sum on the two squares is equal to the sum on the hypotenuse, exactly. 750 00:36:35,686 --> 00:36:37,715 Yeah, that big one should go into the other two. 751 00:36:37,715 --> 00:36:40,445 So you can see here, the yellow, that's the triangle. 752 00:36:40,445 --> 00:36:42,355 These are its two sides. 753 00:36:42,355 --> 00:36:44,205 And these are the squares of the two sides, 754 00:36:44,205 --> 00:36:47,285 they are literally geometrically expressed as squares, 755 00:36:47,285 --> 00:36:50,975 rather than just mathematically, as if that was, say, X, 756 00:36:50,975 --> 00:36:54,405 it's just not X squared, but it is literally the square, there. 757 00:36:54,405 --> 00:36:56,525 And there's Y squared. 758 00:36:56,525 --> 00:36:58,975 And it's supposedly equal to Z squared, which is 759 00:36:58,975 --> 00:37:00,765 the longest side, the hypotenuse. 760 00:37:00,765 --> 00:37:02,975 Because here's the right angle, here. 761 00:37:02,975 --> 00:37:05,686 These are not right angles, obviously. 762 00:37:05,686 --> 00:37:08,715 And there's that. How can we show they're equal? 763 00:37:08,715 --> 00:37:11,095 Well, there are all kinds of ways, but here's one way. 764 00:37:11,095 --> 00:37:13,195 Drumroll, please. 765 00:37:13,195 --> 00:37:14,566 Oh, yes. 766 00:37:15,855 --> 00:37:17,493 All right, let's go. 767 00:37:19,085 --> 00:37:20,291 Ooh. 768 00:37:21,696 --> 00:37:23,205 Oh, that's very clever. 769 00:37:23,205 --> 00:37:25,455 There it goes, pouring into the first square. 770 00:37:25,455 --> 00:37:27,405 Wow! Expensive. Is it going to fill it up? 771 00:37:27,405 --> 00:37:29,765 Wow. Shut the front door! 772 00:37:29,765 --> 00:37:32,075 Oh, Well, it definitely equals X squared. Yes. 773 00:37:32,075 --> 00:37:34,125 Does it equal Y squared as well? 774 00:37:34,125 --> 00:37:35,765 I need to go to the toilet. 775 00:37:37,845 --> 00:37:40,355 There's Y squared, it's filling up, it's filling up, 776 00:37:40,355 --> 00:37:42,715 it's filling up, it's full. And there it is. 777 00:37:42,715 --> 00:37:44,686 Hurray! 778 00:37:47,325 --> 00:37:48,531 Isn't that satisfactory? 779 00:37:50,765 --> 00:37:52,405 Highly satisfactory. 780 00:37:52,405 --> 00:37:54,975 It's the first theorem most people learn at school. 781 00:37:54,975 --> 00:37:57,005 It's Pythagoras's theorem by name, 782 00:37:57,005 --> 00:38:01,325 but it wasn't, it was used many, many years before him - people used 783 00:38:01,325 --> 00:38:05,055 it to build buildings and Euclid demonstrated it before him. 784 00:38:05,055 --> 00:38:07,605 But we give it the name of Pythagoras. 785 00:38:07,605 --> 00:38:09,696 Who is Euclid, then? He was even before? 786 00:38:09,696 --> 00:38:11,965 He's the father of mathematics. Euclid? 787 00:38:11,965 --> 00:38:13,725 Oh, was he? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, Euclid, yes. 788 00:38:13,725 --> 00:38:15,205 Before him, nothing. 789 00:38:15,205 --> 00:38:18,645 The greatest. Yeah, well done to Euclid, we love Euclid. 790 00:38:18,645 --> 00:38:21,635 So, let's take this model away. Let's hear it for him. 791 00:38:27,816 --> 00:38:31,075 Now, by the end of Elizabeth I's reign, there was 792 00:38:31,075 --> 00:38:33,816 a really extraordinary number of English dukes. 793 00:38:33,816 --> 00:38:36,686 Five points for every one you can name. 794 00:38:36,686 --> 00:38:38,765 OK. Norfolk. 795 00:38:42,686 --> 00:38:44,845 Cambridge. Cambridge? 796 00:38:47,335 --> 00:38:49,055 Erm, Hazzard. Dukes Of Hazzard. 797 00:38:49,055 --> 00:38:50,535 Hazzard? 798 00:38:57,365 --> 00:38:59,974 Is it some devilish trick and there aren't any at all? 799 00:38:59,974 --> 00:39:01,636 I said it was an extraordinary number. 800 00:39:01,636 --> 00:39:05,036 The extraordinary number is none, exactly. Ah! Well done. 801 00:39:05,036 --> 00:39:06,697 No dukes. 802 00:39:08,076 --> 00:39:09,976 Can't believe I fell for that one. 803 00:39:11,326 --> 00:39:14,396 By the end of her reign, there were certainly no royal dukes 804 00:39:14,396 --> 00:39:19,066 because royal dukes are the issue of the monarch, essentially, and there 805 00:39:19,066 --> 00:39:23,066 weren't any because Queen Elizabeth was a virgin queen and didn't marry. 806 00:39:23,066 --> 00:39:26,316 And there were also no other dukes. 807 00:39:26,316 --> 00:39:29,476 Are dukes always the children of the queen or king? 808 00:39:29,476 --> 00:39:31,526 Royal dukes are, but other dukes aren't. 809 00:39:31,526 --> 00:39:34,687 We have dukes of Marlborough, dukes of Buccleuch and so on. 810 00:39:34,687 --> 00:39:36,316 And they were always into music 811 00:39:36,316 --> 00:39:39,171 and that's where you get the duke box, which is...? 812 00:39:40,966 --> 00:39:43,184 I think you've understood it 100%. Yep. 813 00:39:44,557 --> 00:39:47,996 There weren't very many peers by the time Queen Elizabeth died. 814 00:39:47,996 --> 00:39:50,836 There was one marquess, 18 earls and 37... 815 00:39:50,836 --> 00:39:52,476 Wigan Pier. 816 00:39:52,476 --> 00:39:55,606 That hadn't been built yet, so even that didn't exist. 817 00:39:55,606 --> 00:39:57,756 I know, it was a shocking thing, but, yeah. 818 00:39:57,756 --> 00:40:01,606 The best peerage joke connected to Queen Elizabeth I 819 00:40:01,606 --> 00:40:04,166 was told by John Aubrey, whose diaries are fantastic. 820 00:40:04,166 --> 00:40:05,687 This involves the Earl of Oxford, 821 00:40:05,687 --> 00:40:08,246 who some people think wrote the plays of Shakespeare. 822 00:40:08,246 --> 00:40:09,361 He didn't. 823 00:40:10,996 --> 00:40:15,236 He wrote this - "this Earl of Oxford, making his low obeisance to 824 00:40:15,236 --> 00:40:20,246 "Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a fart, at which he was 825 00:40:20,246 --> 00:40:23,966 "so abashed and ashamed that he went to travel seven years. 826 00:40:26,066 --> 00:40:30,606 "On his return, the queen welcomed him home and said, 827 00:40:30,606 --> 00:40:32,927 "'My Lord, I had forgot the fart."' 828 00:40:35,246 --> 00:40:37,166 Well, there you are. Yeah, good. 829 00:40:37,166 --> 00:40:40,636 In the early 17th century, there were no dukes in England at all. 830 00:40:40,636 --> 00:40:44,036 And that is very nearly all we have time for. However, we still 831 00:40:44,036 --> 00:40:49,046 have to see if the QI audience has solved the sweet-jar challenge. 832 00:40:49,046 --> 00:40:53,526 Because what we wanted to do was to take their average. 833 00:40:53,526 --> 00:40:57,846 The idea is that we would arrive at the wisdom of crowds. 834 00:40:57,846 --> 00:41:01,326 It was a man called Francis Galton who first came up with that phrase. 835 00:41:01,326 --> 00:41:05,126 He went to a fair where there was weighing the pig 836 00:41:05,126 --> 00:41:07,246 and no-one individually got it right, 837 00:41:07,246 --> 00:41:10,606 but he noticed that if you added up all the guesses 838 00:41:10,606 --> 00:41:15,616 and divided them to get the average it was exactly on the weight. Wow. 839 00:41:15,616 --> 00:41:18,516 We're hoping we'll get that here. So, reveal yourselves. 840 00:41:18,516 --> 00:41:21,076 What have you come up with? 841 00:41:25,836 --> 00:41:27,146 I've put 1,000 underneath, 842 00:41:27,146 --> 00:41:30,606 though, cos I realised I'd really miscalculated when I saw Sandi's. 843 00:41:30,606 --> 00:41:35,046 Right. So 1,000 is my answer. 844 00:41:35,046 --> 00:41:38,756 1,966. 12. Yeah, just in case. 845 00:41:38,756 --> 00:41:40,076 Just in case what? 846 00:41:40,076 --> 00:41:43,606 Just in case what I see isn't what it appears to be. 847 00:41:43,606 --> 00:41:45,437 Or... 848 00:41:45,437 --> 00:41:47,246 Ah, clever! 849 00:41:47,246 --> 00:41:49,486 Clever, clever, clever. 850 00:41:49,486 --> 00:41:56,687 OK, so, the average of the audience's guess is 2,412. 851 00:41:56,687 --> 00:42:03,276 The actual number of Smarties in that jar is 3,890. 852 00:42:03,276 --> 00:42:07,046 So, the audience are the closest. Congratulations. 853 00:42:09,326 --> 00:42:11,612 And that concerns the wisdom of crowds. 854 00:42:12,606 --> 00:42:15,396 So, the time has come to tally up the scores. 855 00:42:15,396 --> 00:42:17,476 Oh, my actual, oh, my actual. 856 00:42:17,476 --> 00:42:21,066 So, in first place, with a magnificent two points, 857 00:42:21,066 --> 00:42:22,557 it's Aisling Bea! 858 00:42:22,557 --> 00:42:23,926 Oh! 859 00:42:27,796 --> 00:42:32,886 And with an earth-shattering zero, it's Sandi Toksvig. 860 00:42:36,687 --> 00:42:39,440 A more than respectable minus six, Susan Calman. 861 00:42:48,757 --> 00:42:51,957 And on his terms, really quite handsome, minus 43, 862 00:42:51,957 --> 00:42:52,988 Alan Davies. 863 00:43:00,407 --> 00:43:03,687 So, it's goodnight from Susan, Sandi, Aisling, Alan and me. 864 00:43:03,687 --> 00:43:07,877 And I'll leave you with this dark observation from Joseph Stalin. 865 00:43:07,877 --> 00:43:09,967 My favourite dictator. 866 00:43:09,967 --> 00:43:13,677 "The people who cast the votes decide nothing. 867 00:43:13,677 --> 00:43:18,527 "The people who count the votes decide everything." Goodnight.