1 00:00:28,820 --> 00:00:30,799 Hurrah! 2 00:00:33,300 --> 00:00:35,439 Lovely. Thank you very much. 3 00:00:37,500 --> 00:00:41,090 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to QI, 4 00:00:41,090 --> 00:00:44,870 where tonight we'll be strapping on our snowshoes, saddling up our elks 5 00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:48,080 and heading to the frozen north, or as they say in Danish... 6 00:00:51,660 --> 00:00:56,350 I know. 7 00:00:56,350 --> 00:00:58,150 I've been here no time at all 8 00:00:58,150 --> 00:01:00,670 and we're already doing it in two languages. 9 00:01:00,670 --> 00:01:03,461 Let's meet our nefarious Norsemen. 10 00:01:03,461 --> 00:01:05,310 The cool Jason Manford. 11 00:01:05,310 --> 00:01:08,230 Hello. Thank you very much. 12 00:01:08,230 --> 00:01:11,790 The chilled Lucy Beaumont. 13 00:01:16,030 --> 00:01:19,980 The howling waste that is Rhod Gilbert. 14 00:01:24,550 --> 00:01:26,380 And an absolute-zero Alan Davies. 15 00:01:34,350 --> 00:01:37,790 So, our northern noises come from Iceland because their buzzers 16 00:01:37,790 --> 00:01:39,820 are all Bjorky. 17 00:01:39,820 --> 00:01:42,020 So Jason goes... 18 00:01:42,020 --> 00:01:48,620 ♪ It's oh so quiet Shh! Shh! ♪ 19 00:01:48,620 --> 00:01:50,250 And Rhod goes... 20 00:01:50,250 --> 00:01:52,740 ♪ It's oh so still... ♪ 21 00:01:52,740 --> 00:01:55,780 Cheap, I like it. 22 00:01:55,780 --> 00:01:57,390 And Lucy goes... 23 00:01:57,390 --> 00:02:03,711 ♪ All alone Shh! Shh! ♪ 24 00:02:03,711 --> 00:02:05,260 And Alan goes... 25 00:02:05,260 --> 00:02:07,341 ♪ Wah! Wah! ♪ 26 00:02:11,380 --> 00:02:12,670 Excellent. 27 00:02:12,670 --> 00:02:17,510 Now, I've asked you all to bring your favourite thing about Denmark. 28 00:02:17,510 --> 00:02:19,870 So, obviously, my very first question is going to be, 29 00:02:19,870 --> 00:02:22,660 what's the second-best thing to come out of Denmark? 30 00:02:24,591 --> 00:02:28,380 And we will start with Alan. Start with Alan. It's you, Sandi. 31 00:02:28,380 --> 00:02:30,230 Aw! 32 00:02:30,230 --> 00:02:32,310 And this week's winner is Alan! 33 00:02:37,540 --> 00:02:40,380 Come on, favourite things from Denmark. Pastries. Which? 34 00:02:40,380 --> 00:02:42,670 Danish pastries. They're not from Denmark. 35 00:02:42,670 --> 00:02:45,380 Danish pastries. They're not from Denmark. Not from there. 36 00:02:45,380 --> 00:02:47,700 I knew that. 37 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:49,390 They're from Vienna. 38 00:02:49,390 --> 00:02:52,150 Well, they were made by Viennese pastry chefs in Copenhagen. 39 00:02:52,150 --> 00:02:54,620 We call it wienerbrod, so Vienna bread. 40 00:02:54,620 --> 00:02:59,070 I know that Copenhagen is on the same line of latitude as Glasgow. 41 00:02:59,070 --> 00:03:01,700 Is that your gift to me, that particular fact? 42 00:03:01,700 --> 00:03:04,540 No. No, no. 43 00:03:04,540 --> 00:03:07,461 There's a Danish thing that's not really a thing. Right. 44 00:03:07,461 --> 00:03:10,820 It's like a hug. Yes. It's a hygge. It's a hygge. It's a thing. 45 00:03:10,820 --> 00:03:13,820 Like a feeling. Yep. It doesn't translate. 46 00:03:13,820 --> 00:03:17,500 It's the most wonderful word and what it means is to get together with your friends, 47 00:03:17,500 --> 00:03:20,700 usually in candlelight, and to feel really mellow and enjoy yourself, 48 00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:23,190 and in general that involves alcohol. 49 00:03:23,190 --> 00:03:25,430 Yeah, that's why... 50 00:03:25,430 --> 00:03:28,070 That's my gift to you. Thank you. Aw. That is lovely. 51 00:03:28,070 --> 00:03:31,440 We say that to our friends. We ring them up and say, "Come over, we'll hygge." 52 00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:34,190 And it just means bring beer. "We'll have a nice time." 53 00:03:34,190 --> 00:03:37,540 Now, Lucy, surely you've got a little something for me as a gift. 54 00:03:37,540 --> 00:03:41,950 My favourite thing to come out of Denmark 55 00:03:41,950 --> 00:03:44,690 is Saga Noren, the character. 56 00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:49,020 Oh, played by the genius Sofia Helin in The Bridge. 57 00:03:49,020 --> 00:03:52,830 The only trouble with that, and I love the gift, is she's Swedish. 58 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:57,960 It's very similar, though, isn't it? Yeah. 59 00:03:59,591 --> 00:04:01,161 Oh! 60 00:04:03,270 --> 00:04:06,190 You're very particular about the what's Danish and what... 61 00:04:06,190 --> 00:04:10,020 Doesn't really matter. You know there was a murder on that bridge, don't you? 62 00:04:10,020 --> 00:04:13,180 She does come out of Denmark quite a lot, doesn't she? 63 00:04:13,180 --> 00:04:15,320 She does, but she's visiting. 64 00:04:15,320 --> 00:04:18,060 I have to say, it is the most brilliant thing. 65 00:04:18,060 --> 00:04:22,150 Her portrayal of Saga Noren is astonishing. It's the best portrayal 66 00:04:22,150 --> 00:04:25,190 of a person with Asperger's I've ever seen. I know. 67 00:04:25,190 --> 00:04:28,190 I've never been so influenced by anything. 68 00:04:28,190 --> 00:04:31,230 And sometimes I feel like her. When I'm walking towards a car 69 00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:33,180 to get in it, I feel like her, 70 00:04:33,180 --> 00:04:36,620 Iike when she walked towards her car. 71 00:04:36,620 --> 00:04:39,230 I did it the other day in Waitrose. 72 00:04:39,230 --> 00:04:43,950 Can you show us how you got in the car? What you did? 73 00:04:43,950 --> 00:04:46,880 Not without a car, no. 74 00:04:49,100 --> 00:04:51,341 Right. What about Jason? 75 00:04:51,341 --> 00:04:56,150 My favourite thing about Denmark, or from Denmark, of course... 76 00:04:56,150 --> 00:05:00,471 Oh, that is.....is this. ..absolutely brilliant. 77 00:05:00,471 --> 00:05:04,700 Now, I must give it its official BBC title. Yes. 78 00:05:04,700 --> 00:05:09,390 Generic Danish interlocking children's building set. 79 00:05:12,471 --> 00:05:15,341 It's Lego, of course. That's fantastic. 80 00:05:15,341 --> 00:05:18,700 So, Rhod. You have to top the interlocking gift. 81 00:05:18,700 --> 00:05:23,040 Well, when I was asked my favourite thing about Norway, 82 00:05:23,040 --> 00:05:25,520 I didn't really know a lot about... Denmark, sorry. 83 00:05:32,620 --> 00:05:34,830 Oh, does it matter? Come on! 84 00:05:34,830 --> 00:05:36,910 Agh! 85 00:05:36,910 --> 00:05:41,750 So, what if I said, "Those Welsh and Scots, they're exactly the same"? 86 00:05:41,750 --> 00:05:43,341 Oooh! 87 00:05:43,341 --> 00:05:45,390 Exactly. You'd get lynched. 88 00:05:45,390 --> 00:05:49,190 I'm fine, there's no Danish people here apart from you. 89 00:05:49,190 --> 00:05:52,240 All right, Denmark. If you insist, Denmark. I do. 90 00:05:52,240 --> 00:05:54,510 Right, I didn't know much about Denmark, Norway, 91 00:05:54,510 --> 00:05:55,950 call it what you want... 92 00:05:59,070 --> 00:06:02,030 So I sort of Googled it. Right. 93 00:06:02,030 --> 00:06:05,400 It always comes up as the happiest place or the second-happiest place. 94 00:06:05,400 --> 00:06:06,910 Yes, absolutely right. 95 00:06:06,910 --> 00:06:08,430 Although, coincidently, it's always 96 00:06:08,430 --> 00:06:11,980 the happiest place and the largest consumers of antidepressants. 97 00:06:11,980 --> 00:06:15,670 So I don't know if that's linked. Just a thought. 98 00:06:15,670 --> 00:06:18,343 It's cos they do chocolate-flavoured ones. 99 00:06:21,630 --> 00:06:24,591 Some people say it's the high incomes or the low levels of 100 00:06:24,591 --> 00:06:26,990 inequality, the large welfare state, the good education... 101 00:06:26,990 --> 00:06:28,750 Yes, darling, not really a speech, 102 00:06:28,750 --> 00:06:30,780 more of a gift is what we're looking for. 103 00:06:30,780 --> 00:06:33,140 I don't think it's because of any of those things. 104 00:06:33,140 --> 00:06:35,990 I think it's because they have a strict, strict control 105 00:06:35,990 --> 00:06:39,062 over breaking wind in public cos I found this sign. 106 00:06:51,250 --> 00:06:53,670 Since the smoking ban, I'm all for this kind of thing. 107 00:06:53,670 --> 00:06:56,680 Unfortunately, the word "fart" means speed, 108 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,880 and so this is a speed-restriction area. 109 00:06:59,880 --> 00:07:03,520 But, also, rather pleasingly, the word for timetable is "fartplan". 110 00:07:07,390 --> 00:07:10,310 Oh, I've needed one of those for years. 111 00:07:10,310 --> 00:07:13,140 A proper fartplan. 112 00:07:13,140 --> 00:07:17,031 A daily fartplan. Where you are, who you're with... 113 00:07:18,630 --> 00:07:20,830 So, Denmark does lead the world in many, many things. 114 00:07:20,830 --> 00:07:23,670 What is the main thing that it leads the world in? 115 00:07:23,670 --> 00:07:28,030 Fairy tales. Oh, that would be nice. Although they are quite miserable. 116 00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:30,980 Actually, the real Hans Christian Andersen stories are quite dark. 117 00:07:30,980 --> 00:07:32,310 Sawing their feet off. 118 00:07:32,310 --> 00:07:34,060 There is an obsession with... 119 00:07:34,060 --> 00:07:37,140 I've noticed this with watching the kids' programmes, 120 00:07:37,140 --> 00:07:40,680 the Disney films and stuff. There is an obsession with dead parents. 121 00:07:40,680 --> 00:07:43,351 And it comes from that Hans Christian Andersen. 122 00:07:43,351 --> 00:07:47,351 I don't know why it is, but one or both of them are either dead already 123 00:07:47,351 --> 00:07:49,760 or killed within the film at some point. 124 00:07:49,760 --> 00:07:51,270 OK, so, heading for parenting, 125 00:07:51,270 --> 00:07:53,481 I'm going to try to get us to the answer, it isn't 126 00:07:53,481 --> 00:07:55,920 Hans Christian Andersen we're looking for... 127 00:07:55,920 --> 00:07:58,270 What was the question? I'm looking for... 128 00:07:58,270 --> 00:08:00,601 what Denmark leads the world in. 129 00:08:00,601 --> 00:08:02,471 Parenting! 130 00:08:02,471 --> 00:08:05,481 I saw a lovely Danish sofa on eBay. 131 00:08:08,140 --> 00:08:10,700 Is it... No... sofas? 132 00:08:10,700 --> 00:08:12,670 Childbirth! 133 00:08:12,670 --> 00:08:16,790 Also, I thought you said "surfer" so, for a brief moment... 134 00:08:16,790 --> 00:08:19,760 I'm trying to think of a Dane surfing. 135 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:21,840 Is it something to do with childbirth? 136 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:24,601 It's something exported from Denmark. Babies. 137 00:08:24,601 --> 00:08:28,400 It's to do with childbirth. Umbilical cords. Stem cells. 138 00:08:28,400 --> 00:08:30,990 The audience is going to start screaming in a minute. 139 00:08:30,990 --> 00:08:35,390 And the word they're going to start screaming is "sperm". 140 00:08:35,390 --> 00:08:37,070 It is the world's... 141 00:08:39,760 --> 00:08:42,420 They are the world's largest exporter of human sperm and, 142 00:08:42,420 --> 00:08:45,910 certainly in the UK, due to a shortage of home-grown donors, 143 00:08:45,910 --> 00:08:48,910 and also because the laws mean you can't be anonymous in the UK, 144 00:08:48,910 --> 00:08:52,550 about a third of the total used by British fertility clinics 145 00:08:52,550 --> 00:08:54,390 is Viking sperm. 146 00:08:54,390 --> 00:08:59,240 Why have they got so...? Is it because it's dark like 20 hours...? 147 00:08:59,240 --> 00:09:02,400 It doesn't get dark in Denmark like that. 148 00:09:02,400 --> 00:09:05,231 How do you cope with having one-and-a-half hours' daylight? 149 00:09:05,231 --> 00:09:07,670 It doesn't happen! It doesn't happen! 150 00:09:07,670 --> 00:09:11,510 Denmark's the same as Scotland, where you come from! 151 00:09:19,390 --> 00:09:23,550 It's up in the Arctic Circle, way, way further. 152 00:09:23,550 --> 00:09:26,471 A Danish winter is about one-and-a-half hours' daylight. 153 00:09:26,471 --> 00:09:30,760 It is not, darling, no. You keep saying the same thing! It's wrong! 154 00:09:30,760 --> 00:09:34,990 It's not, it's true. I've been there. An hour-and-a-half. 155 00:09:37,910 --> 00:09:41,400 Here's the thing. If that's not true, and the more you say it, 156 00:09:41,400 --> 00:09:45,510 the more points I'm going to make it not true for you. All right. 157 00:09:45,510 --> 00:09:46,998 When I went to Denmark... 158 00:09:46,998 --> 00:09:49,437 Was it night-time? It was winter. 159 00:09:55,267 --> 00:09:58,987 This is it, Rhod. You come home late, you've slept through the day - 160 00:09:58,987 --> 00:10:02,047 I did it as a teenager - and you wake up at five in the afternoon. 161 00:10:02,047 --> 00:10:05,447 You don't see the daylight. You're like a ghost. 162 00:10:07,407 --> 00:10:10,647 It was dark for 20-odd hours per day in winter. 163 00:10:10,647 --> 00:10:13,327 But your inability to distinguish the Scandinavian countries 164 00:10:13,327 --> 00:10:15,597 means it's possible you were in Norway. 165 00:10:17,327 --> 00:10:19,077 That is possible. 166 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,488 It is possible that I was in one of the other countries. 167 00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:24,697 But is it not true? It's about an hour-and-a-half... Stop saying it! 168 00:10:26,287 --> 00:10:28,733 It took me nine years to grow a tomato there. 169 00:10:30,927 --> 00:10:34,517 There's no trees in China. There you are, it's exactly the same. 170 00:10:34,517 --> 00:10:36,567 The largest exporter of sperm. 171 00:10:36,567 --> 00:10:39,557 Also the largest exporter of wind turbines, grass seed, 172 00:10:39,557 --> 00:10:41,597 the world's largest producer of insulin, 173 00:10:41,597 --> 00:10:43,927 and the world's most popular toy, of course, 174 00:10:43,927 --> 00:10:47,437 the interlocking brick, as we shall call it. Yes. 175 00:10:47,437 --> 00:10:51,197 The Mermaid, which is the symbol of Denmark, it's a rather sad story. 176 00:10:51,197 --> 00:10:55,557 She's had her head decapitated. Twice. She looks good for it. 177 00:10:55,557 --> 00:10:57,587 She looks good, doesn't she? 178 00:10:57,587 --> 00:10:59,997 Twice, somebody's cut her head off and swum off with it cos 179 00:10:59,997 --> 00:11:03,057 she's out in the harbour. Her arm has been cut off. 180 00:11:03,057 --> 00:11:06,127 - Is it the same person each time? - Collecting a mermaid. 181 00:11:06,127 --> 00:11:09,437 There was once somebody swam out and put a dildo in her hand. 182 00:11:11,358 --> 00:11:13,317 What's wrong with people? 183 00:11:13,317 --> 00:11:16,286 I'm surprised they had time with only 90 minutes' daylight. I know! 184 00:11:17,717 --> 00:11:20,333 It's a wonder they could see her, frankly. 185 00:11:21,767 --> 00:11:24,767 Anybody know what we use pretty much every single day 186 00:11:24,767 --> 00:11:28,997 in the modern world which comes also from Denmark? Fish? 187 00:11:28,997 --> 00:11:30,587 It's a modern thing. 188 00:11:30,587 --> 00:11:34,127 A modern thing that everybody uses every single day. A tin-opener? 189 00:11:34,127 --> 00:11:37,277 A tin-opener is the most modern device that... 190 00:11:40,957 --> 00:11:44,587 The electric tin-opener. It's Bluetooth. Oh, of course. 191 00:11:44,587 --> 00:11:47,767 Bluetooth comes from Denmark. And that is the symbol for Bluetooth. 192 00:11:47,767 --> 00:11:53,407 And it represents the runes of H and B, which is Harald Bluetooth, 193 00:11:53,407 --> 00:11:55,007 who was a king of Denmark. 194 00:11:55,007 --> 00:11:57,917 And he was the king who unified the Scandinavian countries and 195 00:11:57,917 --> 00:12:00,837 when Bluetooth was invented, because it unified the way we communicate 196 00:12:00,837 --> 00:12:04,127 together, the symbol for Harald Bluetooth, the king of Denmark... 197 00:12:04,127 --> 00:12:07,507 Was he always talking to himself? Constantly. It was relentless. 198 00:12:07,507 --> 00:12:08,947 "Harald, are you talking to me?" 199 00:12:08,947 --> 00:12:12,567 "I'm on the phone, mate. I'm on the phone." "Sorry, Harald." 200 00:12:12,567 --> 00:12:17,248 You mentioned Denmark, world's happiest country in the latest happiness report, 201 00:12:17,248 --> 00:12:20,207 followed by Switzerland, Iceland, Norway and Finland. 202 00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:22,127 UK? 23rd. 203 00:12:22,127 --> 00:12:25,717 Just behind Mexico and Singapore, those... 204 00:12:25,717 --> 00:12:27,217 happy places. 205 00:12:27,217 --> 00:12:30,287 There's some fabulous world records that Denmark holds. 206 00:12:30,287 --> 00:12:32,488 The highest jump by a rabbit. 207 00:12:34,488 --> 00:12:36,157 99.5cm. 208 00:12:36,157 --> 00:12:39,157 This one I love - the fastest time 209 00:12:39,157 --> 00:12:42,637 to peel and eat three lemons. 210 00:12:42,637 --> 00:12:44,517 28.5 seconds. 211 00:12:44,517 --> 00:12:46,077 Wow. That's fantastic, isn't it? 212 00:12:46,077 --> 00:12:48,488 That is tough. I mean, the peeling by itself... 213 00:12:48,488 --> 00:12:52,157 The one I couldn't do is the fastest 100 metres wearing high heels. 214 00:12:52,157 --> 00:12:54,047 It says in brackets "female". 215 00:12:54,047 --> 00:12:56,637 I don't know if there's a different one... 216 00:12:56,637 --> 00:13:01,127 Fastest 100 metres wearing high heels is 13.557 seconds. Wow. 217 00:13:01,127 --> 00:13:03,877 That is fast. It was hotly contested. That's not that far... 218 00:13:03,877 --> 00:13:06,557 Isn't 100 metres in running trainers about... 219 00:13:06,557 --> 00:13:08,287 "Running trainers"! 220 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:09,957 Yeah. That's impressive. 221 00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:13,567 Do you sit and go, "Do you have your running trainers...?" 222 00:13:13,567 --> 00:13:17,797 They do have separate trainers for different things, Rhod. 223 00:13:17,797 --> 00:13:20,567 "You've forgotten your plimsolls..." 224 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:25,157 OK! Enough about Denmark. I never thought I'd say that. 225 00:13:25,157 --> 00:13:29,887 What's moving towards Russia at 35 miles per year? 226 00:13:29,887 --> 00:13:32,238 Denmark. 227 00:13:32,238 --> 00:13:35,637 Must be. You're definitely going to win. Definitely going to win. 228 00:13:35,637 --> 00:13:38,208 Is it the London to Moscow Megabus? 229 00:13:40,037 --> 00:13:43,647 Is it America? Is it America? No. But it is a sort of a thing. 230 00:13:43,647 --> 00:13:47,287 North Pole. We're looking at Ns. It is. We are looking at Ns. 231 00:13:47,287 --> 00:13:51,317 Which North Pole? The north one. 232 00:13:51,317 --> 00:13:54,797 Magnetic. It is, absolutely right. Alan is exactly right. 233 00:13:54,797 --> 00:13:57,597 It is the magnetic North Pole. Sandi, you're not going to give him 234 00:13:57,597 --> 00:13:59,797 a point on the back of my... that, are you? Do you know... 235 00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:02,167 How does that work? All I can say to you, Rhod, 236 00:14:02,167 --> 00:14:05,777 whatever happens through the whole of the rest of the show, you're not going to win. 237 00:14:12,167 --> 00:14:14,847 Every time you said it's about an hour-and-a-half of daylight, 238 00:14:14,847 --> 00:14:18,397 you lost ten points. Seriously, you're going to be so behind, 239 00:14:18,397 --> 00:14:21,437 it's going to be a new QI score low. 240 00:14:21,437 --> 00:14:26,238 You wait till the BBC Diversity Department hears about this. 241 00:14:26,238 --> 00:14:29,651 We've already had our quota of Scots. We're fine. 242 00:14:31,807 --> 00:14:35,137 You're absolutely right, Alan. It is the Magnetic North Pole. 243 00:14:35,137 --> 00:14:38,037 So, that's best described as the place to which compasses point. 244 00:14:38,037 --> 00:14:41,127 It was in northern Canada until 2015. 245 00:14:41,127 --> 00:14:45,637 It is slowly moving towards Russia at about 35mph. It's currently in... 246 00:14:45,637 --> 00:14:49,607 35mph now? 35 miles a year. 247 00:14:49,607 --> 00:14:53,287 It's in the back of someone's car. 248 00:14:53,287 --> 00:14:55,927 It's in the back of a Skoda. 249 00:14:55,927 --> 00:14:58,517 Someone's got a little mermaid in one hand, 250 00:14:58,517 --> 00:15:01,607 and the North Pole in the other. 251 00:15:01,607 --> 00:15:04,767 It's actually... What's an interesting thing about it is, 252 00:15:04,767 --> 00:15:07,767 although we call it the Magnetic North Pole, you can't really find it 253 00:15:07,767 --> 00:15:09,368 by looking cos compasses don't work 254 00:15:09,368 --> 00:15:12,567 very well when you get close to the poles. I have a compass here. 255 00:15:12,567 --> 00:15:15,127 In fact, on air navigator's charts, 256 00:15:15,127 --> 00:15:18,287 this area is known as "compass unreliable area", 257 00:15:18,287 --> 00:15:22,797 or sometimes it's also known as the "compass useless area". 258 00:15:22,797 --> 00:15:24,437 So why might that be? 259 00:15:24,437 --> 00:15:27,197 Cos you want it to be pointing that way but it's that way. 260 00:15:27,197 --> 00:15:30,127 It's pointing straight down, so instead of the thing being level, 261 00:15:30,127 --> 00:15:33,527 it's being dragged downwards and the friction of it pushing down is going to 262 00:15:33,527 --> 00:15:36,767 stop it from spinning round. So the one place you can't use a compass 263 00:15:36,767 --> 00:15:39,447 is anywhere near the Magnetic North Pole. 264 00:15:39,447 --> 00:15:42,327 Surely you're there, you've arrived, so it doesn't matter. - It's like one of 265 00:15:42,328 --> 00:15:46,127 those water-diviner things. It's like saying they're useless once you've got to water. 266 00:15:46,127 --> 00:15:48,127 The thing is... Yeah, but you don't use a compass - 267 00:15:48,127 --> 00:15:51,287 "I've got a compass, let's all go to the North Pole." 268 00:15:51,287 --> 00:15:54,007 Like... you're trying to find a way home, aren't you? 269 00:15:54,007 --> 00:15:58,037 It's a bit like arriving in Norway and thinking you're in Denmark. 270 00:15:58,037 --> 00:16:00,238 What's the difference between the Magnetic North Pole 271 00:16:00,238 --> 00:16:03,637 and Geographic North Pole? The Geographic North Pole's a bit off. 272 00:16:03,637 --> 00:16:06,387 Well, actually, if you spun a basketball - or any ball - 273 00:16:06,387 --> 00:16:08,677 the Geographic North Pole would be here. The top. 274 00:16:08,677 --> 00:16:10,957 And the Magnetic one's off. Yeah, the Magnetic one... 275 00:16:10,957 --> 00:16:13,447 I was bound to get it the wrong way around. Very close. 276 00:16:13,447 --> 00:16:15,017 All the poles are on the move 277 00:16:15,017 --> 00:16:17,047 and they did new measurements in 2016... 278 00:16:17,047 --> 00:16:19,397 All right, Nigel Farage, calm down. 279 00:16:25,447 --> 00:16:27,244 Story of Ukip hell. 280 00:16:28,677 --> 00:16:31,927 The Geographic North Pole had been moving towards the British Isles, 281 00:16:31,927 --> 00:16:34,447 in fact, by 10cm a year for the last two decades. 282 00:16:34,447 --> 00:16:36,687 And that's due to displacement of water. 283 00:16:36,687 --> 00:16:39,677 Ownership of the Geographic North Pole is disputed, actually, 284 00:16:39,677 --> 00:16:43,157 between Russia, Canada and Denmark. 285 00:16:43,157 --> 00:16:47,007 And to strengthen their claim, Russia has used a submarine to plant 286 00:16:47,007 --> 00:16:50,647 an actual pole at what they consider to be the Geographic North Pole. 287 00:16:50,647 --> 00:16:54,287 They did it in 2007. It's on the seabed, it's a titanium rod 288 00:16:54,287 --> 00:16:56,687 holding a Russian flag. But here's the fun bit - 289 00:16:56,687 --> 00:16:59,647 it's, of course, now in the wrong place. 290 00:16:59,647 --> 00:17:05,727 The Magnetic North Pole is moving imperceptibly slowly towards Russia, 291 00:17:05,727 --> 00:17:09,937 along with fashion, democracy and gay rights. 292 00:17:09,937 --> 00:17:13,447 Do you know the one about the Dane and the Canadian arguing about 293 00:17:13,447 --> 00:17:15,477 a rock and a hard place? 294 00:17:15,477 --> 00:17:18,397 The Dane is Hamlet and the Canadian's Celine Dion, 295 00:17:18,397 --> 00:17:20,477 have they fallen out, have they? 296 00:17:20,477 --> 00:17:22,077 No, it's an actual place. 297 00:17:22,077 --> 00:17:25,757 Think about a Danish dependent territory... Greenland. Greenland. 298 00:17:25,757 --> 00:17:27,807 So... Close to Canada. Yup. 299 00:17:27,807 --> 00:17:31,087 So, the Nares Strait is the bit that passes between the Danish 300 00:17:31,087 --> 00:17:34,447 dependent territory of Greenland and Canada's Ellsmere Island. 301 00:17:34,447 --> 00:17:37,887 And the border of the two countries passes down the centre 302 00:17:37,887 --> 00:17:42,217 of the strait and right through a barren rock called Hans Island, 303 00:17:42,217 --> 00:17:45,477 named after a great Inuit explorer called Hans Hendrik. 304 00:17:45,477 --> 00:17:49,177 Hans Christian Island. It should have been. This is... 305 00:17:49,177 --> 00:17:52,937 There it is. It's gorgeous, isn't it? It's really lovely, 306 00:17:52,937 --> 00:17:55,128 but it's the most civilised conflict in the world. 307 00:17:55,128 --> 00:17:58,297 What they do is, they both agree first of all to inform each other 308 00:17:58,297 --> 00:18:01,457 if they're going to visit. Which is quite nice. 309 00:18:01,457 --> 00:18:04,837 When the Danish military go there, they leave a bottle of schnapps. 310 00:18:04,837 --> 00:18:08,407 When the Canadian military forces go, they leave a bottle 311 00:18:08,407 --> 00:18:11,807 of Canadian Club, and a sign that says "Welcome to Canada". 312 00:18:14,767 --> 00:18:17,816 Which I think is positively inflammatory. 313 00:18:19,447 --> 00:18:22,287 There is some talk of the two countries running it as 314 00:18:22,287 --> 00:18:26,167 a park together. I don't know why you'd want to visit, but... Swings? 315 00:18:26,167 --> 00:18:30,407 Swings and a roundabout. Just a load of hammered soldiers. 316 00:18:30,407 --> 00:18:32,375 "Wahey!" 317 00:18:34,047 --> 00:18:36,837 The Danes don't like to be too belligerent, and there's 318 00:18:36,837 --> 00:18:40,287 another lovely example of Danish belligerence - the protest pig. 319 00:18:40,287 --> 00:18:42,927 This was very popular in the late 19th century. 320 00:18:42,927 --> 00:18:45,177 So, the Prussian forces had invaded southern Denmark. 321 00:18:45,177 --> 00:18:48,527 They banned all Danish symbols, and the pigs were bred so that their 322 00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:52,327 white markings and their ruddy colour imitated the Danish flag. 323 00:18:52,327 --> 00:18:55,167 They were known as protest pigs. Isn't that sweet? 324 00:18:55,167 --> 00:18:58,967 They're very polite people. In Denmark, it's illegal to desecrate 325 00:18:58,967 --> 00:19:03,007 foreign flags, but you can help yourself in burning your own. 326 00:19:03,007 --> 00:19:06,108 Quick extra question - polite Nordic gifts. 327 00:19:06,108 --> 00:19:09,457 Finland is going to be 100 in 2017. 328 00:19:09,457 --> 00:19:13,378 That's another, totally separate country that we haven't even mentioned yet. 329 00:19:13,378 --> 00:19:17,017 And Norway's going to give them a present. What are Norway thinking of 330 00:19:17,017 --> 00:19:20,327 giving Finland for their 100th birthday? Denmark. 331 00:19:28,407 --> 00:19:30,737 I'll guess it's not going to be a Christmas tree. 332 00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:33,327 No, it's a really big thing. It's a really big present. 333 00:19:33,327 --> 00:19:36,317 A warship. No, you were closer with the tree thing... 334 00:19:36,317 --> 00:19:37,927 A forest? 335 00:19:37,927 --> 00:19:40,757 Bigger than that. National park? Is it something made out of ice? 336 00:19:40,757 --> 00:19:43,837 Well, there is ice involved. An island. 337 00:19:43,837 --> 00:19:47,807 Bigger than that. I went to a vodka ice bar in Norway. Did you? 338 00:19:47,807 --> 00:19:51,647 Amazing. That's fantastic, isn't it? That is really good fun. 339 00:19:51,647 --> 00:19:54,287 As far as I remember. 340 00:19:54,287 --> 00:19:57,773 But it's not that? What tin do you open most frequently? 341 00:19:57,773 --> 00:19:59,678 In terms of type of content. 342 00:19:59,678 --> 00:20:03,598 Tin? Yeah, cos you said you use your tin-opener every day. Yes. 343 00:20:03,598 --> 00:20:06,548 Eh, biffa peas. 344 00:20:06,548 --> 00:20:09,728 I've no idea what biffa peas are. 345 00:20:09,728 --> 00:20:12,119 What is a biffa...? I've no idea what biffa peas are. 346 00:20:12,119 --> 00:20:15,229 I think they're the big ones. Marrowfat peas. Big fat peas? 347 00:20:15,229 --> 00:20:17,109 Oh, right, sort of swollen? Yeah. 348 00:20:17,109 --> 00:20:20,078 They're really nice with a Sunday dinner. Right. 349 00:20:20,078 --> 00:20:21,548 I'm going to go back to - 350 00:20:21,548 --> 00:20:24,109 what do you think Norway's going to get Finland? 351 00:20:27,239 --> 00:20:29,728 Yes? Bjorky. 352 00:20:29,728 --> 00:20:32,558 Is it marrowfat peas? 353 00:20:32,558 --> 00:20:35,478 Is it a large piece of land? It is a massive piece of land. 354 00:20:35,478 --> 00:20:39,369 Here is the thing that Norway has that Finland doesn't really have, 355 00:20:39,369 --> 00:20:42,808 Norway has hundreds of very big mountains and Finland doesn't. 356 00:20:42,808 --> 00:20:44,598 And this is the nicest gift - 357 00:20:44,598 --> 00:20:47,438 they're going to give them a mountain. Oh, wow. 358 00:20:47,438 --> 00:20:50,388 OK, this is the Halti range, it's on the border of the two countries. 359 00:20:50,388 --> 00:20:53,388 They're going to give them the Halditsohkka Peak. 360 00:20:53,388 --> 00:20:56,278 It's only 4,366 feet high 361 00:20:56,278 --> 00:21:00,028 but it doesn't even come into Norway's top 200 highest peaks. 362 00:21:00,028 --> 00:21:03,908 It will be Finland's highest mountain. Wow. 363 00:21:03,908 --> 00:21:07,369 But they'll have to come and visit it, they can't put it over... 364 00:21:07,369 --> 00:21:09,798 It's on the border, so the border will just go... 365 00:21:20,638 --> 00:21:24,758 I like you so much because I found myself explaining that! 366 00:21:26,558 --> 00:21:28,968 I think you're a joy, that's what I think. 367 00:21:28,968 --> 00:21:31,648 Can I come to your house and eat fat peas? 368 00:21:31,648 --> 00:21:34,648 Can't think of anything more delightful. 369 00:21:34,648 --> 00:21:37,168 Now, Jason, my lovely boy. Hello. 370 00:21:37,168 --> 00:21:39,548 What impressive northern experience 371 00:21:39,548 --> 00:21:42,528 would you like to share with me right now? 372 00:21:46,648 --> 00:21:48,678 What's my brother told you? 373 00:21:50,748 --> 00:21:54,188 Something fantastic that happens far north... Northern Lights. 374 00:21:54,188 --> 00:21:56,668 Northern Lights. The Northern Lights. 375 00:21:56,668 --> 00:21:59,369 In fact, depending on the strength of the solar wind, 376 00:21:59,369 --> 00:22:03,249 the Northern Lights can be seen as far south as Mexico and Egypt. 377 00:22:03,249 --> 00:22:06,558 The best place to see them tonight is here in the comfort of the studio 378 00:22:06,558 --> 00:22:08,728 thanks to an object called a Planeterrella, 379 00:22:08,728 --> 00:22:10,458 which we will demonstrate. 380 00:22:10,458 --> 00:22:13,448 The polar light simulator has been lent to us by the Department 381 00:22:13,448 --> 00:22:16,478 of Physics and Astronomy at the University of Leicester. 382 00:22:16,478 --> 00:22:19,758 It was designed by Jean Lilensten from CNRS, 383 00:22:19,758 --> 00:22:23,008 the French Centre Nationnal de la Recherche Scientifique 384 00:22:23,008 --> 00:22:26,119 and it is provided by Leicester's Dr Gabrielle Provan 385 00:22:26,119 --> 00:22:28,474 who's going to tell us about it. Gabrielle. 386 00:22:31,828 --> 00:22:34,388 So, Gabrielle, I'm just looking at the machine. The big object 387 00:22:34,388 --> 00:22:37,198 is supposed to be the sun, is that correct? 388 00:22:37,198 --> 00:22:40,008 Absolutely, yes. And the little one is the Earth? Yes. 389 00:22:40,008 --> 00:22:43,648 So why does it happen? Well, what happens is that the sun has 390 00:22:43,648 --> 00:22:47,398 a solar wind, those charged particles flow away from the sun 391 00:22:47,398 --> 00:22:50,888 and into planetary space. And when those charged particles 392 00:22:50,888 --> 00:22:54,268 come to the Earth they get stuck on to the Earth's magnetic field lines 393 00:22:54,268 --> 00:22:57,548 and they travel down into the Northern and Southern Polar regions 394 00:22:57,548 --> 00:23:01,008 and they basically collide with our gasses and they excite the gasses 395 00:23:01,008 --> 00:23:04,448 and they make them shine. So, the different gasses, what do the colours 396 00:23:04,448 --> 00:23:06,718 make? Oxygen, for example, would make what colours? 397 00:23:06,718 --> 00:23:09,488 Oxygen would make red and also green. 398 00:23:09,488 --> 00:23:13,278 And nitrogen? That is blue or purple. So in there there's a lot 399 00:23:13,278 --> 00:23:16,278 of nitrogen and that's why you're getting that purple glow. 400 00:23:16,278 --> 00:23:18,718 It's fantastic that we can have it contained like that, 401 00:23:18,718 --> 00:23:21,408 so I imagine this is a very modern experiment? 402 00:23:21,408 --> 00:23:23,918 It's actually over 100 years old. 403 00:23:23,918 --> 00:23:26,369 Who invented it? Kristian Birkeland. 404 00:23:26,369 --> 00:23:28,758 So he sounds Scandinavian to me. 405 00:23:28,758 --> 00:23:31,918 Yes. He was Norwegian. 406 00:23:37,318 --> 00:23:39,398 And where are you from? 407 00:23:39,398 --> 00:23:43,678 I'm from Norway. All right! It's the full Scandinavian picture! 408 00:23:43,678 --> 00:23:46,602 Gabrielle Provan, thank you very much. 409 00:23:50,638 --> 00:23:54,048 Amazing to see, but if you can actually go, and what I love about 410 00:23:54,048 --> 00:23:56,908 it is, I love the myths associated. So the Sami people, 411 00:23:56,908 --> 00:24:00,239 indigenous people of Norway, Sweden, Finland and Russia, 412 00:24:00,239 --> 00:24:02,989 they believed that the Northern Lights emanated from the souls 413 00:24:02,989 --> 00:24:06,528 of the dead and should be treated with great respect. 414 00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:10,688 Greenland, the lights were seen as the souls of stillborn babies. 415 00:24:10,688 --> 00:24:14,198 Do they move that fast, like what we're looking at now? 416 00:24:14,198 --> 00:24:17,638 Does it move that fast in the air? It can do, yeah. Oh, wow, right. 417 00:24:17,638 --> 00:24:21,598 Lucy will verify this - if you turn the lights out in your kitchen 418 00:24:21,598 --> 00:24:23,888 and open a can of biffa peas... 419 00:24:28,408 --> 00:24:30,168 Very true, yeah. 420 00:24:30,168 --> 00:24:34,728 You want to go when the sun is issuing the maximum number of flares 421 00:24:34,728 --> 00:24:37,758 and it goes in kind of cycles, it's an 11-year cycle and the next time 422 00:24:37,758 --> 00:24:40,678 will be about 2024, some time like that will be the best time to go. 423 00:24:40,678 --> 00:24:45,129 Really? Now, we move south a little to another north place. 424 00:24:45,129 --> 00:24:48,178 What do the North Koreans do better than anyone? 425 00:24:50,638 --> 00:24:52,168 Is it... 426 00:24:52,168 --> 00:24:55,758 using only a pudding bowl and a Stanley knife? 427 00:24:59,478 --> 00:25:01,838 Are you going for haircuts? Is that it? 428 00:25:01,838 --> 00:25:05,168 Yeah, they do create a haircut that is simultaneously hilarious 429 00:25:05,168 --> 00:25:10,208 and terrifying. Looking at that picture, I would say it's solemnity. 430 00:25:10,208 --> 00:25:13,158 It does look like solemnity but, no, it's not that. 431 00:25:13,158 --> 00:25:16,628 "WHERE'S MY GLOVE? WHERE IS MY GLOVE? 432 00:25:16,628 --> 00:25:18,607 "I WILL NOT... 433 00:25:19,918 --> 00:25:22,569 "..LEAVE HERE TILL MY GLOVE IS RETURNED!" 434 00:25:23,999 --> 00:25:27,048 Then he turns and he goes, "There is no missing glove. 435 00:25:27,048 --> 00:25:30,168 "My glove is at home. Bwa-ha-ha!" 436 00:25:30,168 --> 00:25:33,458 I love the idea of being a dictator for comedic effect. 437 00:25:35,048 --> 00:25:37,983 He always looks like a sort of cross between 438 00:25:37,983 --> 00:25:40,633 a Bond villain and Augustus Gloop. 439 00:25:40,633 --> 00:25:44,153 If you upset him, you don't know if he's going to destroy the world 440 00:25:44,153 --> 00:25:47,974 or just refuse to give you one of his gobstoppers. 441 00:25:47,974 --> 00:25:51,673 But the thing they do best is that they make a fake something or other. 442 00:25:51,673 --> 00:25:53,994 I imagine they make fake munitions 443 00:25:53,994 --> 00:25:56,543 to make it look like they've got more army than they have. 444 00:25:56,543 --> 00:25:59,743 It is fake US dollars. They make them better than anybody. 445 00:25:59,743 --> 00:26:02,873 They're known as super dollars due to their superb quality. 446 00:26:02,873 --> 00:26:05,073 Some people say they're better than the originals. 447 00:26:06,463 --> 00:26:09,343 And it took some very sophisticated forensic analysis to confirm... 448 00:26:09,343 --> 00:26:12,613 They do sort of swell out in the middle, though. Yeah, that's true. 449 00:26:14,984 --> 00:26:16,503 It's not the only contraband. 450 00:26:16,503 --> 00:26:21,143 Its methamphetamine is supposed to be of extraordinary high purity. 451 00:26:21,143 --> 00:26:25,703 And its counterfeit Viagra is rumoured to exceed the bone fide. 452 00:26:25,703 --> 00:26:27,234 Can you say that, bona fide? 453 00:26:32,913 --> 00:26:38,513 You have to say it like this, "BONA fide." 454 00:26:38,513 --> 00:26:41,693 And the other fantastically successful North Korean export - 455 00:26:41,693 --> 00:26:43,543 this is fantastic, I love this - 456 00:26:43,543 --> 00:26:46,063 it's giant statues of African dictators. 457 00:26:46,063 --> 00:26:48,023 They make them better than anybody. 458 00:26:50,023 --> 00:26:55,143 Isn't that brilliant? It's the Mansudae Art Studio Gallery. 459 00:26:55,143 --> 00:26:58,873 And the work they've made, they've made statues for Angola, for Benin, 460 00:26:58,873 --> 00:27:01,593 Chad, the Democratic Republic of Congo, Equatorial Guinea, 461 00:27:01,593 --> 00:27:03,263 Ethiopia, Togo. 462 00:27:03,263 --> 00:27:07,313 They seem to have a common theme of the leaders all hailing a taxi. 463 00:27:07,313 --> 00:27:11,793 That seems to be a thing. They're all playing "Where's My Glove?" 464 00:27:11,793 --> 00:27:14,753 "I'M NOT LEAVING..." 465 00:27:14,753 --> 00:27:17,313 "UNTIL THE GLOVE IS RETURNED!" 466 00:27:17,313 --> 00:27:20,673 How big are they? They're huge, massive things. 467 00:27:20,673 --> 00:27:23,234 I went to a gift shop in Lanzarote 468 00:27:23,234 --> 00:27:25,383 and they sold stuff like this. 469 00:27:25,383 --> 00:27:26,753 Did they? Yeah. 470 00:27:26,753 --> 00:27:28,673 How big was the shop? 471 00:27:28,673 --> 00:27:31,383 Everything was just... It sounded like... 472 00:27:31,383 --> 00:27:34,553 I think there was all sorts of dodgy stuff going on. 473 00:27:34,553 --> 00:27:37,984 Well, counterfeit is a thing and always has been a thing 474 00:27:37,984 --> 00:27:41,463 in terms of money. About 3% of the pound coins in the UK 475 00:27:41,463 --> 00:27:43,153 are in fact counterfeit. 476 00:27:43,153 --> 00:27:47,234 Yeah, every time I try to get a can of pop out of a machine, 477 00:27:47,234 --> 00:27:50,313 every time. Cos you've got a system. 478 00:27:50,313 --> 00:27:53,703 You gotta try and... Try to wet it before now, 479 00:27:53,703 --> 00:27:56,703 sometimes I try and take the machine by surprise. Yes. Ever do that? 480 00:27:59,063 --> 00:28:01,313 "Well, I don't even want one... Ha-ha!" 481 00:28:01,313 --> 00:28:03,543 Boom! Coming my way. 482 00:28:03,543 --> 00:28:05,673 How far do you work that back? 483 00:28:05,673 --> 00:28:09,193 Do you come round the corner in dark glasses and hat? 484 00:28:09,193 --> 00:28:12,553 Come round the back of the machine... 485 00:28:12,553 --> 00:28:14,423 When it comes to bank notes, 486 00:28:14,423 --> 00:28:17,833 it's very hard to identify a wrong 'un from a Jong Un. 487 00:28:19,343 --> 00:28:22,163 I didn't write it. Can I just say, I did not write that. OK. 488 00:28:22,163 --> 00:28:26,473 From North Korea to North America, what can you see here? 489 00:28:26,473 --> 00:28:28,463 What do you think this is? 490 00:28:28,463 --> 00:28:29,903 America. 491 00:28:29,903 --> 00:28:32,753 Have you been to America? Yeah. Which parts have you been to? 492 00:28:32,753 --> 00:28:34,603 All over. 493 00:28:34,603 --> 00:28:37,423 Well, that doesn't narrow it down for me, but... 494 00:28:37,423 --> 00:28:40,053 That's New York. It is New York. 495 00:28:40,053 --> 00:28:44,523 It's Niagara Falls without any water on it. You are absolutely right. 496 00:28:44,523 --> 00:28:46,673 That is exactly what it is. 497 00:28:52,593 --> 00:28:55,343 What gave it away for you? The viewing tower. 498 00:28:55,343 --> 00:28:59,523 What is incredible about it, this is a photograph from June 1969. 499 00:28:59,523 --> 00:29:02,244 And the water at Niagara normally goes over three falls. 500 00:29:02,244 --> 00:29:04,783 It goes over the American, the Bridal Veil and the Horseshoe. 501 00:29:04,783 --> 00:29:07,823 And the American Falls had loads of debris at the bottom, 502 00:29:07,823 --> 00:29:09,263 which you can see there. 503 00:29:09,263 --> 00:29:11,913 It's known as talus, from the Latin for "ankle", 504 00:29:11,913 --> 00:29:13,513 because it's thicker at the bottom. 505 00:29:13,513 --> 00:29:17,403 And all that debris was swirling and causing erosion of the falls. 506 00:29:17,403 --> 00:29:20,423 So plans were to temporarily divert the water away 507 00:29:20,423 --> 00:29:22,633 from the American Falls and over the Horseshoe, 508 00:29:22,633 --> 00:29:25,143 and dry out the American so it could be cleaned. 509 00:29:25,143 --> 00:29:28,143 It is the most extraordinary picture. The construction company, 510 00:29:28,143 --> 00:29:31,063 the Albert Elia Construction Company, they built a temporary dam 511 00:29:31,063 --> 00:29:34,353 in just three days out of 28,000 tonnes of earth. 512 00:29:34,353 --> 00:29:37,114 And the tourists flocked to see the dry American Falls 513 00:29:37,114 --> 00:29:40,073 and the, of course, much stronger than usual Horseshoe Falls. 514 00:29:40,073 --> 00:29:44,633 And lots of coins were recovered... and two bodies. 515 00:29:44,633 --> 00:29:46,793 Were they both in barrels? 516 00:29:46,793 --> 00:29:50,403 One came out and went, "Thank God!" 517 00:29:50,403 --> 00:29:51,783 I found his glove! 518 00:29:53,633 --> 00:29:56,114 Funnily enough, the very first person to go over in a barrel 519 00:29:56,114 --> 00:29:59,273 is pretty much what she did say when she came out. It was a woman 520 00:29:59,273 --> 00:30:04,143 called Annie Edson Taylor and she survived the experience in 1901. 521 00:30:04,143 --> 00:30:06,393 She was 63 years old at the time. 522 00:30:06,393 --> 00:30:08,063 Crazy Annie. Crazy Annie. 523 00:30:08,063 --> 00:30:10,953 She did it because she hadn't got any money. What I like about this - 524 00:30:10,953 --> 00:30:14,343 a few days before she did it, she sent her cat over the falls 525 00:30:14,343 --> 00:30:18,323 to see if the barrel would break. 526 00:30:18,323 --> 00:30:20,683 Oh! And after she came out... 527 00:30:20,683 --> 00:30:24,063 It makes sense... Check it out. After she came out she said, 528 00:30:24,063 --> 00:30:26,473 "If it was with my dying breath, 529 00:30:26,473 --> 00:30:29,703 "I would caution anyone against attempting the feat. 530 00:30:29,703 --> 00:30:32,994 "I would sooner walk up to the mouth of a cannon knowing it was going to 531 00:30:32,994 --> 00:30:36,423 "blow me to pieces than make another trip over the falls." 532 00:30:36,423 --> 00:30:39,503 She absolutely hated it. Is that picture of her before or after 533 00:30:39,503 --> 00:30:43,033 she got in that barrel? That is after, when she survived. Right. 534 00:30:43,033 --> 00:30:46,463 She got in like that and got like that, with the hat still on...? 535 00:30:48,503 --> 00:30:50,713 The cat wasn't necessary, really. 536 00:30:50,713 --> 00:30:53,994 I don't think the cat was going to affect the strength of the barrel. 537 00:30:53,994 --> 00:30:56,153 She hated that cat. 538 00:30:56,153 --> 00:30:58,713 Just an excuse to get rid of it. 539 00:30:58,713 --> 00:31:01,153 It's fantastically dangerous. Captain Matthew Webb, who was 540 00:31:01,153 --> 00:31:04,683 the very first person to swim the English Channel, so a tremendously good swimmer, 541 00:31:04,683 --> 00:31:07,843 he died in an attempt to swim the whirlpool rapids below Niagara Falls. 542 00:31:07,843 --> 00:31:09,633 The water is phenomenally strong. 543 00:31:09,633 --> 00:31:13,323 You can only swim a whirlpool rapid if you got one leg, apparently. 544 00:31:13,323 --> 00:31:17,073 Well, we must certainly test that out some time. 545 00:31:17,073 --> 00:31:20,713 There's a wonderful waterfall in the city of St John 546 00:31:20,713 --> 00:31:24,323 in New Brunswick in Canada, and the waterfall flows upwards. 547 00:31:24,323 --> 00:31:28,623 It's the most astonishing thing. Twice a day, the tide in the bay 548 00:31:28,623 --> 00:31:30,114 rises 28ft 6in, 549 00:31:30,114 --> 00:31:32,903 to the point that it overtops the waterfall over which 550 00:31:32,903 --> 00:31:35,623 the St John River normally flows, and the river flows backwards. 551 00:31:35,623 --> 00:31:39,033 Wow. Isn't that amazing? We've learnt so much, haven't we? 552 00:31:41,874 --> 00:31:45,763 You've gotta be careful with the show, what you take away from it, 553 00:31:45,763 --> 00:31:47,273 because you can hear people in pubs 554 00:31:47,273 --> 00:31:48,833 and they'll say, "This happened." 555 00:31:48,833 --> 00:31:51,143 And you go, "No." They go, "Saw it on QI." 556 00:31:51,143 --> 00:31:54,043 It's become that... I was chatting to a friend of mine, 557 00:31:54,043 --> 00:31:56,153 said I was thinking about going to Venice. 558 00:31:56,153 --> 00:31:58,963 And he said, "I don't do Venice. Full of racists." 559 00:31:58,963 --> 00:32:01,793 "It's a racist town." I said, "How's it a racist town?" 560 00:32:01,793 --> 00:32:05,913 He says, "Yeah, all the gondoliers, they've gotta be black." 561 00:32:05,913 --> 00:32:08,193 I said, "I don't think that's true." 562 00:32:08,193 --> 00:32:10,273 He said, "No, it's true, I saw it on QI." 563 00:32:10,273 --> 00:32:13,273 He said, "Honestly, I don't know how they've got past the EU with it" 564 00:32:13,273 --> 00:32:16,223 "but every single one of them has to be black." 565 00:32:16,223 --> 00:32:19,043 I said, "I don't think that's true." Anyway, about three days later, 566 00:32:19,043 --> 00:32:22,703 he rang me up, he went, "I meant gondolas, the actual gondola." 567 00:32:29,273 --> 00:32:32,231 Make sure you're always listening. 568 00:32:34,353 --> 00:32:38,063 Niagara Falls got its first real really good clean 569 00:32:38,063 --> 00:32:43,263 in the summer of '69. And, now, another dirty northern secret. 570 00:32:43,263 --> 00:32:47,996 What's the worst disaster that doggers ever experienced? 571 00:32:49,623 --> 00:32:51,433 Child locks. 572 00:32:53,553 --> 00:32:57,763 When you have to wait for somebody to get out and let you out. 573 00:32:57,763 --> 00:33:01,124 It's like the walk of shame, but you're just lying there. 574 00:33:01,124 --> 00:33:04,833 I assume, I assume. It's not that. Are you looking for an N? 575 00:33:04,833 --> 00:33:09,143 Is the answer an N? It is a place in an N, if that is of assistance. 576 00:33:09,143 --> 00:33:11,994 Is it Dogger Bank? It is to do with Dogger Bay. 577 00:33:11,994 --> 00:33:14,503 It isn't to do with dogging. It is indeed to do with Dogger Bank. 578 00:33:14,503 --> 00:33:17,513 I was going to say a nipple trapped in an air vent. 579 00:33:19,793 --> 00:33:23,583 I imagine window wipers are a nightmare. 580 00:33:23,583 --> 00:33:26,124 They're not in the car, though, are they? 581 00:33:26,124 --> 00:33:28,833 Yeah, but there's people watching. Oh. 582 00:33:28,833 --> 00:33:31,313 How close do they get? It depends. 583 00:33:34,153 --> 00:33:38,157 "Back off! You're supposed to be at the other side of the car park..." 584 00:33:40,073 --> 00:33:42,143 "..casually!" 585 00:33:42,143 --> 00:33:44,423 OK, it's nothing to do with dogging. 586 00:33:44,423 --> 00:33:46,683 You shouldn't have put the car up, then! 587 00:33:46,683 --> 00:33:49,223 Why did you put a picture of some doggers up there in a car? 588 00:33:49,223 --> 00:33:52,943 That is people on their way to the North Sea to see 589 00:33:52,943 --> 00:33:55,513 where Doggerland used to be, 590 00:33:55,513 --> 00:34:00,033 which is the worst-named amusement park of all time. 591 00:34:00,033 --> 00:34:03,473 It was an area of land which attached Britain to mainland Europe 592 00:34:03,473 --> 00:34:05,864 between East Anglia and the Netherlands. 593 00:34:05,864 --> 00:34:08,283 And it was populated by prehistoric humans. 594 00:34:08,283 --> 00:34:11,443 It very slowly flooded by rising sea levels until, eventually, 595 00:34:11,443 --> 00:34:14,124 it was deluged by a tsunami triggered by 596 00:34:14,124 --> 00:34:17,124 a massive undersea landslide in Norway in 6000 BC. 597 00:34:17,124 --> 00:34:20,004 So it now lies under the North Sea. 598 00:34:20,004 --> 00:34:23,513 Don't be offended, but you lost me a bit there. OK, so... 599 00:34:23,513 --> 00:34:26,403 It's attached to Britain. Then there was a tsunami, 600 00:34:26,403 --> 00:34:29,363 an ice age, a volcano... 601 00:34:29,363 --> 00:34:31,043 8,000 years ago... 602 00:34:31,043 --> 00:34:33,713 Oh, I'm with you, yeah. There was a bit of land. Yup. 603 00:34:33,713 --> 00:34:37,713 And then there was a flood. Right. And now it's not there any more. 604 00:34:41,033 --> 00:34:44,994 That was clear. Was it clear? That was clear. 605 00:34:44,994 --> 00:34:48,273 You mentioned dogging - the actual dogging capital of Britain 606 00:34:48,273 --> 00:34:50,353 is a place called Elmbridge. 607 00:34:50,353 --> 00:34:53,783 It has ten areas identified by the police as being places 608 00:34:53,783 --> 00:34:57,473 where strangers... watch each other... knowing each other. 609 00:34:57,473 --> 00:34:59,124 I'm trying to be polite. 610 00:34:59,124 --> 00:35:01,843 Compared with, for example, just two in the whole of Sussex. 611 00:35:01,843 --> 00:35:04,403 And Elmbridge... I knew it'd be somewhere in the South, though. 612 00:35:04,403 --> 00:35:07,793 Well, it's a very wealthy part. Warmer, innit? 613 00:35:10,273 --> 00:35:12,793 Often know as England's Beverly Hills. 614 00:35:12,793 --> 00:35:16,124 Its 130,000 residents pay £1.2 billion 615 00:35:16,124 --> 00:35:19,313 in income tax, which is more than Newcastle and Cardiff combined. 616 00:35:19,313 --> 00:35:22,994 Oh, my God. Yeah. More than Starbucks and Google combined. 617 00:35:25,663 --> 00:35:27,073 Satire! 618 00:35:30,683 --> 00:35:34,053 Sounds like you're connecting those two things, the dogging thing 619 00:35:34,053 --> 00:35:36,643 and the tax - it's not a defence, is it? 620 00:35:36,643 --> 00:35:39,004 "At least I pay me taxes!" 621 00:35:42,004 --> 00:35:45,235 "How much have you paid? I'll bang her if I want!" 622 00:35:47,004 --> 00:35:48,913 All I'm saying is... 623 00:35:48,913 --> 00:35:52,673 They've probably got electric windows. 624 00:35:52,673 --> 00:35:56,203 I doubt they've got the old keep-fit windows, have they? 625 00:35:56,203 --> 00:35:58,803 If they had a Doggerland for doggers... Yes. 626 00:35:58,803 --> 00:36:03,483 ..and just make it more fun instead of sort of sinister. 627 00:36:03,483 --> 00:36:06,313 Have rides you could have sex on. 628 00:36:06,313 --> 00:36:09,953 Yeah. Make it, you know, like a Disneyland. 629 00:36:09,953 --> 00:36:12,923 I think that's a very good idea. Doggerland's under water, 630 00:36:12,923 --> 00:36:16,033 they'd have to get all that scuba equipment on. 631 00:36:16,033 --> 00:36:18,888 And have a little flap on your wetsuit. 632 00:36:21,033 --> 00:36:24,203 Your dog's got to have a little mask on. 633 00:36:24,203 --> 00:36:27,573 In German, "dogging" just means exercising the dog. 634 00:36:27,573 --> 00:36:30,153 I like that they're rather literal about it. 635 00:36:30,153 --> 00:36:33,283 I bet they've got a word for the other stuff... 636 00:36:33,283 --> 00:36:36,593 I imagine a German visiting Elmbridge would get a surprise. 637 00:36:38,793 --> 00:36:42,073 All this talk of the north brings us to the arctic wastelands 638 00:36:42,073 --> 00:36:44,023 of general ignorance. 639 00:36:44,023 --> 00:36:46,473 So, fingers on buzzers, please. 640 00:36:46,473 --> 00:36:48,283 ♪ Wah! Wah! ♪ 641 00:36:55,923 --> 00:36:58,244 Very, very sensitive. 642 00:36:59,563 --> 00:37:02,483 As, indeed, are my ears. 643 00:37:02,483 --> 00:37:06,403 Now, we all know where this comes from, don't we? 644 00:37:06,403 --> 00:37:08,763 ♪ It's oh so quiet... ♪ 645 00:37:08,763 --> 00:37:10,483 Jason. 646 00:37:10,483 --> 00:37:12,233 Japan. 647 00:37:15,483 --> 00:37:18,643 It's got to be done, it's got to be done. So, here's the thing. 648 00:37:18,643 --> 00:37:21,243 In the 1970s, Japan didn't import fish, 649 00:37:21,243 --> 00:37:24,923 and salmon was not on any sashimi menu. 650 00:37:24,923 --> 00:37:28,303 And, I love this, in the early '80s, there was a seafood delegation 651 00:37:28,303 --> 00:37:30,193 from Norway - 652 00:37:30,193 --> 00:37:32,793 totally different place to Denmark... 653 00:37:34,353 --> 00:37:36,593 ..and they began a thing called Project Japan 654 00:37:36,593 --> 00:37:39,233 and they wanted to sell Norwegian salmon to the country, 655 00:37:39,233 --> 00:37:42,563 and, these days, Norwegian salmon is the sashimi fish of choice. 656 00:37:42,563 --> 00:37:45,723 Can I just ask, do you know those salmon in that waterfall that 657 00:37:45,723 --> 00:37:48,563 goes backwards, what do they do there, then? 658 00:37:50,433 --> 00:37:53,803 Do they dive down, then, or do they... 659 00:37:53,803 --> 00:37:56,613 Or do they go up but reverse up? 660 00:38:00,773 --> 00:38:04,322 It's a fair point, I think you'll... It's going to keep me awake. 661 00:38:06,073 --> 00:38:11,083 Supplementary question - in Japanese cuisine, the milt, M-I-L-T, 662 00:38:11,083 --> 00:38:14,643 the milt of some fish is a delicacy. Does anyone know what it is? 663 00:38:14,643 --> 00:38:17,673 It's the leather trousers. It's the leather trousers? 664 00:38:17,673 --> 00:38:19,923 A milt is a mum in leather trousers. 665 00:38:24,283 --> 00:38:26,283 ♪ Wah! Wah! ♪ 666 00:38:26,283 --> 00:38:30,633 I think that's a Roger McGough. No, it's something in the trousers. 667 00:38:30,633 --> 00:38:33,273 Something in the trousers? Something in the trousers, as it were. 668 00:38:33,273 --> 00:38:36,233 They don't wear trousers, but if they did, it would be in the trousers. 669 00:38:36,233 --> 00:38:39,004 If a fish wore trousers, it'd be in the fish's trousers? 670 00:38:39,004 --> 00:38:41,713 It would be in a boy's fish's trousers. 671 00:38:41,713 --> 00:38:45,523 Someone shouted out "sperm" again. It can't be sperm every time! 672 00:38:45,523 --> 00:38:47,563 It is sperm. It is sperm! 673 00:38:50,203 --> 00:38:54,803 The correct name for fish sperm is milt, OK? Molluscs have it, too. 674 00:38:54,803 --> 00:38:58,443 And they spray it on the roe. That's pretty much how it works. Why? 675 00:38:58,443 --> 00:39:01,723 Japanese salmon sashimi actually comes from Norway. 676 00:39:01,723 --> 00:39:03,643 What's the one untrue thing 677 00:39:03,643 --> 00:39:06,363 that everyone in Norway believes about lemmings? 678 00:39:06,363 --> 00:39:08,433 That they're Danish. No, that they... 679 00:39:10,083 --> 00:39:13,754 That they throw themselves off things in a kind of, you know, 680 00:39:13,754 --> 00:39:15,593 anthropomorphised suicide leap. 681 00:39:17,843 --> 00:39:22,563 Is that good enough? It's not been a good show for you. 682 00:39:22,563 --> 00:39:25,593 No, in fact, in the very first episode ever of QI, 683 00:39:25,593 --> 00:39:29,103 it was talked about the fact that lemmings do not commit suicide. 684 00:39:29,103 --> 00:39:31,843 No, but, hang on, wasn't the question what was the one thing... 685 00:39:31,843 --> 00:39:34,403 I was expecting to be... Yes, but it is the most common... 686 00:39:34,403 --> 00:39:36,093 It is a double bluff. It was. 687 00:39:36,093 --> 00:39:38,523 It isn't the most common myth about them in Norway. 688 00:39:38,523 --> 00:39:41,673 No, the most common myth in Norway is that lemmings are really angry - 689 00:39:41,673 --> 00:39:45,853 they don't look it - and they get so stressed that they burst. 690 00:39:48,004 --> 00:39:49,953 Wow! 691 00:39:49,953 --> 00:39:53,083 And parents will tell children not to chase after lemmings 692 00:39:53,083 --> 00:39:58,203 in case they explode. I love that! 693 00:39:58,203 --> 00:40:02,083 I love a parent just lying to children. It's brilliant. 694 00:40:02,083 --> 00:40:03,603 The myth seems to have come about 695 00:40:03,603 --> 00:40:06,023 because lemmings get very aggressive if approached. 696 00:40:06,023 --> 00:40:07,563 They shriek and jump about. 697 00:40:07,563 --> 00:40:11,463 And there's an old saying in Norway, "As angry as a lemming." 698 00:40:11,463 --> 00:40:15,313 Wow. My dad used to tell us that black pudding lived in the garden. 699 00:40:17,673 --> 00:40:19,953 I'd be out there for hours! 700 00:40:19,953 --> 00:40:22,043 Looking for black pudding! 701 00:40:22,043 --> 00:40:24,643 I mean, I feel like an idiot now. 702 00:40:26,933 --> 00:40:29,754 Well, it's good of you to be here and share it with us. 703 00:40:29,754 --> 00:40:31,853 Finally, we go north of the border. 704 00:40:31,853 --> 00:40:35,673 What's the main source of sugar for the people of Scotland? 705 00:40:35,673 --> 00:40:37,803 ♪ So still... ♪ 706 00:40:37,803 --> 00:40:41,884 - Rhod. - I know it's going to go"bring" and you're 707 00:40:41,885 --> 00:40:45,945 going to laugh at me, but deep-fried Mars bars, somebody's got to say it. 708 00:40:48,653 --> 00:40:50,683 The things I do! 709 00:40:50,683 --> 00:40:52,810 Is it edible bagpipes? 710 00:40:53,933 --> 00:40:55,603 Liquorice bagpipes? 711 00:40:55,603 --> 00:40:58,163 They do look like they're made of liquorice, don't they? 712 00:40:58,163 --> 00:41:00,043 Something surprising, Lucy, that... 713 00:41:00,043 --> 00:41:03,363 I mean, sperm has been the running theme, hasn't it, but... 714 00:41:12,563 --> 00:41:15,157 It's not their main source of sugar. 715 00:41:16,653 --> 00:41:19,313 In Scotland? In Scotland, yes. 716 00:41:19,313 --> 00:41:22,393 Other places, maybe sperm is the very thing... 717 00:41:22,393 --> 00:41:24,113 It is fruit. 718 00:41:24,113 --> 00:41:25,603 Oh. Oh. 719 00:41:25,603 --> 00:41:29,733 Unexpectedly, they did a study in 2015, and they found that 720 00:41:29,733 --> 00:41:32,723 the single biggest source of sugar in the Scottish diet is fruit. 721 00:41:32,723 --> 00:41:37,443 12.3%. I'm not saying that the Scottish diet is all that 722 00:41:37,443 --> 00:41:41,643 healthy because soft drinks came second. And confectionery third. 723 00:41:41,643 --> 00:41:43,793 Then biscuits, then cakes. 724 00:41:45,643 --> 00:41:48,603 Intriguingly, 65% of the Scottish population are either 725 00:41:48,603 --> 00:41:50,573 overweight or obese. 726 00:41:50,573 --> 00:41:51,963 Well, you'd know, Rhod. 727 00:41:55,473 --> 00:42:00,754 Scotland's sugar hit of choice is a healthy portion of fruit. 728 00:42:00,754 --> 00:42:03,004 Deep-fried. 729 00:42:03,004 --> 00:42:05,953 All of which healthy eating brings us to the fruity matter of 730 00:42:05,953 --> 00:42:09,833 the scores. And let's have a look. Oh, boy. Starting with the winner. 731 00:42:09,833 --> 00:42:13,923 I'm going to tell you that the winner with 12 points is Alan! 732 00:42:20,833 --> 00:42:23,884 In second place with two points, it's Lucy! 733 00:42:27,293 --> 00:42:31,453 In third place, minus 16, it's Jason! 734 00:42:35,323 --> 00:42:38,323 Can't even remember the name of the man who came fourth. 735 00:42:38,323 --> 00:42:41,363 He's gone from my mind. With minus 22, it's Rhod! 736 00:42:50,723 --> 00:42:54,553 Well, that's all from Lucy, Rhod, Jason, Alan and me. 737 00:42:54,553 --> 00:42:57,113 I've enjoyed our time in the north, 738 00:42:57,113 --> 00:43:00,653 and I leave you with this from the Danish mathematician, Piet Hein. 739 00:43:00,653 --> 00:43:03,243 It's in the glove area, this one. 740 00:43:03,243 --> 00:43:07,243 "Losing one glove is certainly painful but nothing compared 741 00:43:07,243 --> 00:43:08,813 "to the pain of losing one, 742 00:43:08,813 --> 00:43:12,253 "throwing away the other, and finding the first one again." 743 00:43:12,253 --> 00:43:13,743 Good night.