1 00:00:26,880 --> 00:00:30,080 This programme contains some strong language. 2 00:00:30,080 --> 00:00:32,441 APPLAUSE 3 00:00:32,441 --> 00:00:35,979 Oh! Too kind. 4 00:00:39,380 --> 00:00:41,870 Hello, and welcome to QI. 5 00:00:41,870 --> 00:00:45,790 Tonight's show is like a nightmare neighbour, nosey and noisy. 6 00:00:45,790 --> 00:00:47,210 Please make some noise 7 00:00:47,210 --> 00:00:50,280 for someone with a nose for the truth, Aisling Bea. 8 00:00:50,280 --> 00:00:52,726 APPLAUSE 9 00:00:57,550 --> 00:01:01,120 A nose for a bargain, Ross Noble. 10 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:03,441 APPLAUSE 11 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:07,640 And a nose for a good story, 12 00:01:07,640 --> 00:01:10,591 it's Slipknot frontman, it's Corey Taylor. 13 00:01:10,591 --> 00:01:13,606 APPLAUSE 14 00:01:17,581 --> 00:01:21,380 And a nose for trouble, Alan Davies. 15 00:01:21,380 --> 00:01:24,019 APPLAUSE 16 00:01:27,160 --> 00:01:30,390 And they've all brought along their favourite noises. 17 00:01:30,390 --> 00:01:32,430 So Aisling goes... 18 00:01:32,430 --> 00:01:36,640 BABY GIGGLES Ah! 19 00:01:36,640 --> 00:01:40,420 Have you got children, Aisling? No, no! 20 00:01:40,420 --> 00:01:43,250 You'll go off that noise, I'm just saying! 21 00:01:43,250 --> 00:01:47,230 It's the loveliest noise. There's nothing nicer than the sound of a giggling baby, 22 00:01:47,230 --> 00:01:51,508 other than at night-time, if you don't know where it is. 23 00:01:53,810 --> 00:01:57,451 Yeah, maybe parenting's not for you. 24 00:01:57,451 --> 00:01:59,800 Ross goes... 25 00:01:59,800 --> 00:02:02,960 CHILD'S VOICE: I hate rakes! 26 00:02:02,960 --> 00:02:05,490 BOY'S VOICE: I am Mola Ram! 27 00:02:05,490 --> 00:02:08,650 Who are those annoying children? Those are my children! 28 00:02:08,650 --> 00:02:12,040 They... And obviously, everyone says, you know, 29 00:02:12,040 --> 00:02:14,500 children laughing is the best thing ever. 30 00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:19,240 I think even better than that is your own children acting out scenes from Indiana Jones. Yeah. 31 00:02:19,240 --> 00:02:23,930 So my little one can't say esses, so instead of saying, "I hate snakes," 32 00:02:23,930 --> 00:02:25,850 she says, "I hate rakes." 33 00:02:25,850 --> 00:02:30,140 So listen again. CHILD: I hate rakes. Aww! 34 00:02:30,140 --> 00:02:33,246 And that was the oldest one going, "I am Mola Ram!" 35 00:02:35,680 --> 00:02:37,850 Right. Let's have a listen, Corey goes... 36 00:02:37,850 --> 00:02:41,581 HEAVY METAL MUSIC 37 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:45,325 AISLING: I love One Direction! 38 00:02:47,571 --> 00:02:48,960 Yeah. 39 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:53,441 APPLAUSE 40 00:02:53,441 --> 00:02:54,800 Is that your own track? 41 00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:56,770 That is... Don't tell me, let me guess. 42 00:02:56,770 --> 00:03:00,370 OK. Was that Psychosocial? No. Oh. Close though. 43 00:03:00,370 --> 00:03:02,452 That's the only one I know. 44 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:06,930 This one is Psychosocial. That Psychosocial, yeah. 45 00:03:06,930 --> 00:03:08,840 Wow! 46 00:03:08,840 --> 00:03:11,035 I'm the cute one. 47 00:03:12,090 --> 00:03:15,210 Him. No. Him! 48 00:03:15,210 --> 00:03:16,768 APPLAUSE 49 00:03:22,080 --> 00:03:25,170 We haven't even got on the questions yet. Alan goes... 50 00:03:25,170 --> 00:03:27,866 SIRENS BLARE 51 00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:34,810 A favourite sound, or just familiar? Very familiar. Just familiar. 52 00:03:34,810 --> 00:03:37,140 And let's start with a noisy question. 53 00:03:37,140 --> 00:03:41,670 I want to hear the loudest thing anyone's ever shouted. 54 00:03:41,670 --> 00:03:43,390 You don't have to buzz. 55 00:03:43,390 --> 00:03:49,800 Oh, I just like that sound. It reminds me of how lonely I am. 56 00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:52,610 I've got two, you can have one. 57 00:03:54,571 --> 00:03:58,880 I went to see in the cinema, Magic Mike when it opened. 58 00:03:58,880 --> 00:04:01,970 And for those of you who don't know, Magic Mike is a humble story 59 00:04:01,970 --> 00:04:05,960 of a male stripper who really wants to be a carpenter, 60 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,507 very much like Jesus. 61 00:04:08,680 --> 00:04:11,321 And in the opening sequence of Magic Mike... 62 00:04:11,321 --> 00:04:14,960 Jesus is not a stripper first. Well... 63 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:19,680 There are bits of the Dead Sea Scrolls that are yet to be interpreted. 64 00:04:19,680 --> 00:04:25,860 At the start of this film he does this down on his knees 65 00:04:25,860 --> 00:04:30,290 kind of slide all the way down the catwalk 66 00:04:30,290 --> 00:04:35,250 and on this giant cinema his crouch just came flying at the audience. 67 00:04:35,250 --> 00:04:39,400 You know that scene in Singing In The Rain when they see the train moving for the first time in cinema 68 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:42,380 and they're like, "Ah, it's coming for us!" 69 00:04:42,380 --> 00:04:44,250 That's what the crotch was like. 70 00:04:44,250 --> 00:04:46,760 And I made this noise from my soul, like... 71 00:04:46,760 --> 00:04:49,930 SHE SHRIEKS 72 00:04:49,930 --> 00:04:52,010 Loudest sound ever... 73 00:04:52,010 --> 00:04:55,010 And Guinness World Records just happened to be there. Yeah. 74 00:04:55,010 --> 00:04:58,451 Was this in 3D by any chance? No, thank God! 75 00:04:58,451 --> 00:05:00,339 Cos that would have been amazing. 76 00:05:04,090 --> 00:05:07,970 I want my money back! 77 00:05:07,970 --> 00:05:09,540 I'm pregnant. 78 00:05:13,170 --> 00:05:15,290 Corey, you've done lots of loud things. 79 00:05:15,290 --> 00:05:18,250 What do you think might be the loudest thing anyone's ever shouted? 80 00:05:18,250 --> 00:05:21,650 It's got to be something at their kids. OK, yes. In fact, you're in the right... 81 00:05:21,650 --> 00:05:24,810 SHUT THE FUCK UP! 82 00:05:24,810 --> 00:05:27,490 So if you could do that in a more BBC Two way... 83 00:05:27,490 --> 00:05:30,301 LAUGHTER 84 00:05:30,301 --> 00:05:34,044 I'll do my best. Sshhhhhh! 85 00:05:36,530 --> 00:05:38,571 Is it yodelling? 86 00:05:38,571 --> 00:05:40,730 No, but yodelling is my Achilles heel. 87 00:05:40,730 --> 00:05:42,970 I could be on my deathbed, full of depression, 88 00:05:42,970 --> 00:05:45,530 and somebody yodelled, I would laugh. I just... 89 00:05:46,930 --> 00:05:48,451 Is it a human doing it? 90 00:05:48,451 --> 00:05:51,400 It is a human doing, this. It is, but he's in the right area. 91 00:05:51,400 --> 00:05:55,370 It is a word for shush, it is the loudest word that's ever been shouted. 92 00:05:55,370 --> 00:05:57,380 It's in the Guinness World Records. 93 00:05:57,380 --> 00:06:01,544 It's got to be something like quiet. It is quiet. Absolutely right. It's the loudest word ever spoken. 94 00:06:05,875 --> 00:06:07,725 There's a photo of it being done. 95 00:06:07,725 --> 00:06:11,115 Well, this is her. She's a Belfast primary school teacher. 96 00:06:14,306 --> 00:06:16,025 "Quiet!" 97 00:06:16,025 --> 00:06:19,115 She's called Anneliese Flanagan. I think she mostly uses 98 00:06:19,115 --> 00:06:21,915 her rather impressive voice on the hockey pitch. 99 00:06:21,915 --> 00:06:25,955 But in 1994 she entered a shouting competition and her world record has 100 00:06:25,955 --> 00:06:27,955 remained unbroken for 22 years. 101 00:06:27,955 --> 00:06:33,404 She logged 121 decibels, which is exactly the same as a chainsaw. 102 00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:40,115 That's quite loud. Yeah. Our shows top out at, like, 109. 103 00:06:40,115 --> 00:06:42,725 And those are quite loud. So 121 is stupid! 104 00:06:42,725 --> 00:06:45,165 She's... 105 00:06:45,165 --> 00:06:47,929 Louder than Slipknot, that's a good title. 106 00:06:49,196 --> 00:06:52,825 BELFAST ACCENT: Do not make me get louder than Slipknot! 107 00:06:56,645 --> 00:07:00,285 It is good to know that if you're at a Slipknot gig and there is 108 00:07:00,285 --> 00:07:03,365 a Northern Irish primary school teacher... 109 00:07:03,365 --> 00:07:05,925 BELFAST ACCENT: Turn it down, lads. 110 00:07:05,925 --> 00:07:09,165 She's 32 times as loud as a vacuum cleaner, 111 00:07:09,165 --> 00:07:12,025 which is a sort of weird thing to know about yourself. 112 00:07:12,025 --> 00:07:16,245 And she can shout twice as loud as the human pain threshold. 113 00:07:16,245 --> 00:07:18,005 Now, is anybody here a loud burper? 114 00:07:18,005 --> 00:07:20,645 That's the other thing that there is a record for. 115 00:07:20,645 --> 00:07:23,645 No, I'd need some fizzy pop. 116 00:07:23,645 --> 00:07:26,635 SANDI BURPS Oh, Sandi! 117 00:07:26,635 --> 00:07:28,925 That's it. I sound like a frog with asthma. 118 00:07:28,925 --> 00:07:34,475 That is something I never thought I would see. 119 00:07:34,475 --> 00:07:36,750 If you start lighting your farts...! 120 00:07:38,355 --> 00:07:40,285 That's unbelievable. 121 00:07:40,285 --> 00:07:43,515 I see you've missed one of the shows! 122 00:07:43,515 --> 00:07:47,436 Can you imagine if this is just Ross Noble's dream, Slipknot are on QI, 123 00:07:47,436 --> 00:07:49,545 Sandi gets out, she's hosting now. 124 00:07:49,545 --> 00:07:52,115 She burps and then she lights her fart. 125 00:07:52,115 --> 00:07:54,285 ROSS: Is this actually happening? 126 00:07:54,285 --> 00:07:56,955 Well, the world's two loudest burpers, 127 00:07:56,955 --> 00:08:00,755 and I like that has gone down to two, are currently locked in a duel... 128 00:08:02,165 --> 00:08:06,085 The record was set by a man from Essex, surprisingly. 129 00:08:06,085 --> 00:08:10,316 He is there on the right. That's Paul Hunn, 109.9 decibels. 130 00:08:10,316 --> 00:08:12,555 No way! That was in February. 131 00:08:12,555 --> 00:08:17,755 Immediately it was broken by Neville Sharp, who comes from a town I want to go to in Australia 132 00:08:17,755 --> 00:08:21,745 called Humptydoo. Humptydoo? Have you been to Humptydoo? 133 00:08:21,745 --> 00:08:23,685 Yes. I've been to Humptydoo, yeah. 134 00:08:23,685 --> 00:08:26,955 Have you? Yeah, and it had that guy on the telly and they were going, 135 00:08:26,955 --> 00:08:29,115 "We've got the loudest burper..." 136 00:08:29,115 --> 00:08:31,805 And he was... You know, slow news day! 137 00:08:31,805 --> 00:08:34,965 And they went, "Do one for us now." 138 00:08:34,965 --> 00:08:37,755 But, like me, he needs to build up to it, 139 00:08:37,755 --> 00:08:39,755 and he couldn't perform! 140 00:08:39,755 --> 00:08:44,005 Oh, no! Everyone was going, "Oh, not sure if you are any good at it." 141 00:08:44,005 --> 00:08:48,795 Humptydoo though, it's the most Australian town I have never heard of in my life. 142 00:08:48,795 --> 00:08:53,198 Their biggest tourist attraction is a statue of a boxing crocodile. 143 00:08:57,025 --> 00:09:01,085 And they are famous for the Humptydoo virus, it's a virus for kangaroos, 144 00:09:01,085 --> 00:09:02,765 and it's named after Humptydoo. 145 00:09:02,765 --> 00:09:05,275 So anyway, Neville Sharp beat... 146 00:09:05,275 --> 00:09:08,525 This is the exciting battle between the two burpers. 147 00:09:08,525 --> 00:09:12,555 And the day after, Paul, from Essex, broke back. 148 00:09:12,555 --> 00:09:15,765 He broke back with 117.9. 149 00:09:15,765 --> 00:09:19,166 Broke back?! Well, he's got that wrong. That's the other end! 150 00:09:21,525 --> 00:09:24,475 He made a 117.9 decibel belch, 151 00:09:24,475 --> 00:09:28,915 which is apparently louder than a Deep Purple concert in 1972, 152 00:09:28,915 --> 00:09:31,645 which broke the record for the world's loudest band. 153 00:09:31,645 --> 00:09:35,165 And left the audience members unconscious. 154 00:09:35,165 --> 00:09:37,605 They hold the Guinness World Record. Do they? 155 00:09:37,605 --> 00:09:39,165 It was in the books, yeah. 156 00:09:39,165 --> 00:09:41,635 So that became the goal for everybody. 157 00:09:41,635 --> 00:09:43,275 And then Motorhead broke that. 158 00:09:43,275 --> 00:09:46,765 And now, apparently, a man's throat has done the same. 159 00:09:46,765 --> 00:09:48,735 What the hell am I doing? 160 00:09:48,735 --> 00:09:51,115 Would they not let you... 161 00:09:51,115 --> 00:09:53,525 Because all you've got to do is just turn it up. 162 00:09:53,525 --> 00:09:56,245 You would think. 163 00:09:56,245 --> 00:09:58,035 But you would be mistook. 164 00:09:58,035 --> 00:10:02,529 Oh, why? I don't know. I just thought it was fun to say that to him. Oh, right! 165 00:10:05,316 --> 00:10:08,005 Neville Sharp from Australia, I like him a lot. 166 00:10:08,005 --> 00:10:10,845 About the burping, he said... AUSTRALIAN ACCENT: 167 00:10:10,845 --> 00:10:13,885 "Breaking the record has been a bit of a personal goal for me. 168 00:10:13,885 --> 00:10:17,905 "Since my sister taught me to burp when we were children." 169 00:10:17,905 --> 00:10:22,326 "When I grow up I'm going to be the loudest burper. 170 00:10:22,326 --> 00:10:24,375 "Yes, you will, son." 171 00:10:24,375 --> 00:10:26,845 Anybody able to crack their finger knuckles? 172 00:10:26,845 --> 00:10:29,405 That's the other thing people can do very loudly. 173 00:10:29,405 --> 00:10:32,175 LOUD CRACKING 174 00:10:32,175 --> 00:10:35,326 Watch this... CRACKS JAW 175 00:10:36,725 --> 00:10:39,853 She asked! Were you hit by a car this afternoon? 176 00:10:42,095 --> 00:10:45,485 Any other parts of you that you can make noises with? Well... 177 00:10:46,635 --> 00:10:49,595 None for BBC Two! OK. 178 00:10:49,595 --> 00:10:53,525 The loudest crack of finger knuckles is 83.2 decibels, 179 00:10:53,525 --> 00:10:55,955 so that's as loud as a food blender. 180 00:10:55,955 --> 00:10:58,675 Can you do it? I can't do it at all. 181 00:10:58,675 --> 00:11:02,365 I just did a little one, and now it will be a couple of days. 182 00:11:02,365 --> 00:11:05,975 So that's the extraordinary thing, and we can just show you. 183 00:11:05,975 --> 00:11:08,326 This is an actual photograph. These are knuckles, 184 00:11:08,326 --> 00:11:11,045 not amniotic fluid. LOUD CRACK 185 00:11:11,045 --> 00:11:13,885 Isn't that incredible? 186 00:11:13,885 --> 00:11:17,365 And what it is, it's the bubbles of gas popping out of the fluid between 187 00:11:17,365 --> 00:11:19,565 your joints. You can't crack twice in succession, 188 00:11:19,565 --> 00:11:22,085 because you need time to build the gas back up again. 189 00:11:22,085 --> 00:11:25,555 But how funny would that be if you were, like, an ultrasound person 190 00:11:25,555 --> 00:11:27,694 and you just loaded that into the machine... 191 00:11:29,845 --> 00:11:34,485 The parents came and went, let's just have a look... ARGH! 192 00:11:34,485 --> 00:11:38,525 And then just run out of the room. 193 00:11:38,525 --> 00:11:42,725 Now, I have some things for you. What can you do with these? 194 00:11:42,725 --> 00:11:45,805 I'm going to hand those out to you there. 195 00:11:45,805 --> 00:11:48,885 So... These are, like, those smear test things?! 196 00:11:48,885 --> 00:11:51,355 Have you seen one of those before? I have, yeah. 197 00:11:51,355 --> 00:11:53,925 It's for erectile dysfunction, isn't it? 198 00:11:53,925 --> 00:11:57,255 For ducks. You press the balls... 199 00:11:57,255 --> 00:12:00,095 LAUGHTER 200 00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:01,735 Oh, Alan! 201 00:12:01,735 --> 00:12:03,532 Is anyone a doctor? 202 00:12:11,605 --> 00:12:13,539 APPLAUSE 203 00:12:15,206 --> 00:12:16,765 BLOWS WHISTLE 204 00:12:16,765 --> 00:12:19,095 Oh, a duck. To get ducks. 205 00:12:19,095 --> 00:12:20,485 It is a kind of whistle. 206 00:12:20,485 --> 00:12:22,692 But it's not to be played with the mouth. 207 00:12:25,125 --> 00:12:27,355 AUDIENCE GROAN 208 00:12:27,355 --> 00:12:30,895 Oh! It's to be played with your nose. 209 00:12:30,895 --> 00:12:35,286 THEY ALL WHISTLE 210 00:12:46,095 --> 00:12:48,815 I'm guessing, is this for like paramedics who, if somebody, 211 00:12:48,815 --> 00:12:52,485 they're not sure if they're breathing or not, you just put that on their... 212 00:12:52,485 --> 00:12:54,715 "They're still alive." 213 00:12:54,715 --> 00:12:56,685 It's called a nose flute. 214 00:12:56,685 --> 00:12:59,845 And the first patent for this was the Nasalette in 1892, 215 00:12:59,845 --> 00:13:02,285 and the theory was it left your hands... 216 00:13:02,285 --> 00:13:06,615 There it is... Your hands free to play other instruments. 217 00:13:06,615 --> 00:13:11,925 But this one doesn't. So I've got some knicker elastic. 218 00:13:11,925 --> 00:13:16,815 If you put that round your face and the thing. 219 00:13:16,815 --> 00:13:20,695 These are from knickers... Well, before I lost weight. 220 00:13:20,695 --> 00:13:23,285 Try that. 221 00:13:23,285 --> 00:13:25,651 AISLING: Oh, can we all be in Slipknot now? Yes. 222 00:13:27,076 --> 00:13:29,715 Just breathe through your nose. 223 00:13:29,715 --> 00:13:33,492 CACOPHONY OF WHISTLES 224 00:13:41,005 --> 00:13:42,779 LAUGHTER 225 00:13:44,456 --> 00:13:46,981 WHISTLES CONTINUE 226 00:13:49,535 --> 00:13:54,885 It's possible the nose flutes were a mistake. 227 00:13:54,885 --> 00:13:58,845 Alan's completely got the hang of it. 228 00:13:58,845 --> 00:14:00,605 And yet, tuneless. 229 00:14:00,605 --> 00:14:02,995 I can actually play the tin whistle. 230 00:14:02,995 --> 00:14:05,135 But I'm going to do this one. 231 00:14:05,135 --> 00:14:09,549 SHE PLAYS TUNE 232 00:14:15,055 --> 00:14:17,216 APPLAUSE AND CHEERING 233 00:14:20,485 --> 00:14:24,797 You had the look of a woman trying to unwrap a toffee with her bottom. 234 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,915 Don't give them back! 235 00:14:30,915 --> 00:14:32,975 I have to clean my nose out. 236 00:14:32,975 --> 00:14:37,565 We will come on to what is in fact a double ended nose picker, 237 00:14:37,565 --> 00:14:39,565 but... 238 00:14:39,565 --> 00:14:41,285 So, the nose flutes, 239 00:14:41,285 --> 00:14:44,295 they have been around the world long before this patented existed. 240 00:14:44,295 --> 00:14:45,905 They were played in Southeast Asia, 241 00:14:45,905 --> 00:14:47,815 in the Pacific Islands, in the Congo. 242 00:14:47,815 --> 00:14:51,655 In Fiji, couples used to use them to seduce each other. 243 00:14:51,655 --> 00:14:54,975 And apparently it was traditional to plug one nostril with tobacco 244 00:14:54,975 --> 00:14:59,255 and then play do the other nostril, and you get a hit of nicotine at the same time. 245 00:14:59,255 --> 00:15:02,805 A fantastic photograph in the 1909 copy of Tatler, 246 00:15:02,805 --> 00:15:07,485 which is a man in India playing the nose flute and the bagpipes simultaneously. 247 00:15:07,485 --> 00:15:13,086 He is described by one musicologist as a peak of woodwind virtuosity. 248 00:15:13,086 --> 00:15:14,725 I like that he was in Tatler. 249 00:15:14,725 --> 00:15:18,895 What an odd like socialite pages at the back, like there's always a queen and king and a guy 250 00:15:18,895 --> 00:15:21,925 with the bagpipes and a flute nose. 251 00:15:21,925 --> 00:15:25,326 I think it's on their page called "Aren't Foreigners Funny?" 252 00:15:26,765 --> 00:15:30,336 Yours is a double ended nose picker that you've got there, Alan. 253 00:15:30,336 --> 00:15:34,365 This was patented in 1998, and oddly, 254 00:15:34,365 --> 00:15:37,925 no-one has yet to manufacture them for general sale. 255 00:15:37,925 --> 00:15:39,925 So how many... 256 00:15:39,925 --> 00:15:43,895 AUDIENCE GROAN 257 00:15:43,895 --> 00:15:46,784 They did a study of nose picking in 2000... 258 00:15:48,405 --> 00:15:51,975 Ever used something other than your own finger? No. 259 00:15:51,975 --> 00:15:54,655 They did a study in 2001. 260 00:15:54,655 --> 00:15:57,565 They've got no hooking motion. You need a hooking motion. 261 00:15:57,565 --> 00:16:00,135 To be able to pull? I've got nothing there. 262 00:16:00,135 --> 00:16:05,086 What I have noticed is there are some bogeys on there from a previous owner. 263 00:16:05,086 --> 00:16:07,134 There is a clean one. 264 00:16:08,725 --> 00:16:11,545 Have you got the whole hand down there? 265 00:16:11,545 --> 00:16:13,485 Are these definitely being sold for nose picking? 266 00:16:13,485 --> 00:16:15,089 We had a... 267 00:16:17,895 --> 00:16:21,565 I think there's a tax reason they've been called "nose pickers". 268 00:16:21,565 --> 00:16:25,285 We had an intern who just didn't work out and... 269 00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:27,165 wanted to be on the show. 270 00:16:27,165 --> 00:16:29,213 I'll just go on the Tube like that. 271 00:16:34,055 --> 00:16:35,852 Sit like that. 272 00:16:37,055 --> 00:16:38,716 "I'm just going to hospital." 273 00:16:41,775 --> 00:16:43,625 "How many stops...?" 274 00:16:43,625 --> 00:16:45,422 SCATTERED APPLAUSE 275 00:16:46,785 --> 00:16:50,216 That is the most feeble clap! 276 00:16:50,216 --> 00:16:53,975 There's half of you going, "I'm not clapping that." 277 00:16:53,975 --> 00:16:56,495 Can I just borrow two? 278 00:16:56,495 --> 00:16:58,985 I've got one that's more flaccid than the other. 279 00:16:58,985 --> 00:17:02,165 If you clap Ross's finger joke, I will be pissed off! 280 00:17:02,165 --> 00:17:06,044 I'm just thinking, for the lazy Slipknot fan. 281 00:17:07,835 --> 00:17:12,886 AUDIENCE CLAP AND CHEER 282 00:17:18,565 --> 00:17:22,235 That's for the lazy Slipknot fan too. You can always... 283 00:17:22,235 --> 00:17:23,835 There you go. 284 00:17:23,835 --> 00:17:27,955 So only 80% of teenagers use their fingers to pick their noses, 285 00:17:27,955 --> 00:17:29,755 what do the rest use? 286 00:17:29,755 --> 00:17:32,235 The end of a pencil? Yes. 287 00:17:32,235 --> 00:17:34,395 Pencils is one. Come on, we've all done it. 288 00:17:34,395 --> 00:17:36,909 A biro. A friend's finger? 289 00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:42,105 A cotton bud? No, it's nothing as nice as that. 290 00:17:42,105 --> 00:17:44,405 It's tweezers! 291 00:17:44,405 --> 00:17:46,965 What if it winds up there? 292 00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:52,785 What was weird was 11% do it for cosmetic reasons, 11% for pleasure... 293 00:17:52,785 --> 00:17:56,232 Are you talking about the actual... Yeah. 294 00:17:57,255 --> 00:18:02,835 Surely a Hoover would work better than tweezers. 295 00:18:02,835 --> 00:18:06,076 Who'd put a Hoover up your nose?! 296 00:18:06,076 --> 00:18:09,035 It's an irresponsible remark! 297 00:18:09,035 --> 00:18:11,775 I'm sorry for what I said earlier about using a Hoover. 298 00:18:11,775 --> 00:18:14,495 Please, teenagers, do not stick a Hoover to your nose. 299 00:18:14,495 --> 00:18:20,395 I think it was implied if I had fallen onto a hand-held dust buster type thing. 300 00:18:20,395 --> 00:18:23,245 The load of excuses. 301 00:18:23,245 --> 00:18:25,735 "My dressing down fell open. 302 00:18:25,735 --> 00:18:28,886 "I fell onto the suction." 303 00:18:30,035 --> 00:18:34,165 They do that thing, they compulsively pull out their nasal hairs as well. 304 00:18:34,165 --> 00:18:38,346 That's a thing. There's an actual condition called rhinotrichotillomania. 305 00:18:38,346 --> 00:18:41,395 It is the compulsively pulling out your nasal hairs. 306 00:18:41,395 --> 00:18:44,425 If it's nose hair, I can understand it. I don't want to be chatting away... 307 00:18:44,425 --> 00:18:48,216 Cos remember, Alan, we had to take the scissors to yours... I'm only joking. 308 00:18:48,216 --> 00:18:52,865 When you pulled my nose hair, my arse tightened. 309 00:18:52,865 --> 00:18:54,218 So we kept going. 310 00:18:55,735 --> 00:18:59,585 Next we got to pull my arse hair and see what happens. 311 00:18:59,585 --> 00:19:01,655 "Stop! Stop!" 312 00:19:09,245 --> 00:19:11,384 Is it just one long hair that connects...? 313 00:19:14,985 --> 00:19:17,545 Top and bottom are all connected. 314 00:19:19,705 --> 00:19:22,785 Here's a question that everyone is gagging to know the answer to... 315 00:19:22,785 --> 00:19:26,225 What noise does a frog on helium make? 316 00:19:26,225 --> 00:19:27,995 On helium? 317 00:19:27,995 --> 00:19:30,714 HIGH VOICE: "Oh, I love you, Miss Piggy." 318 00:19:34,055 --> 00:19:36,165 COREY COUGHS 319 00:19:36,165 --> 00:19:39,005 You've got a frog in your throat! 320 00:19:39,005 --> 00:19:42,425 Corey, if you want a klaxon, I reckon if you did a high-pitched ribbit, 321 00:19:42,425 --> 00:19:44,505 I reckon that would get one. Try and say ribbit. 322 00:19:44,505 --> 00:19:45,858 HIGH VOICE: Ribbit! 323 00:19:49,705 --> 00:19:50,945 Yes! 324 00:19:56,415 --> 00:19:58,375 I might need a tissue. 325 00:19:58,375 --> 00:20:01,995 It's rare you see so much pleasure at failure. 326 00:20:01,995 --> 00:20:06,225 It's so good. I reckon nobody knows. 327 00:20:06,225 --> 00:20:08,835 Because as soon as you fill them with helium, that expands... 328 00:20:08,835 --> 00:20:10,598 and they're off. 329 00:20:12,316 --> 00:20:13,908 "Help!" 330 00:20:15,956 --> 00:20:17,795 Hands like that. 331 00:20:17,795 --> 00:20:21,235 In 1993, scientists made three different species of frog inhale helium. 332 00:20:21,235 --> 00:20:24,022 Clearly, party's not gone that well, nobody's turned up... 333 00:20:25,645 --> 00:20:28,076 Scientists with poor sexual skills, I'm going to guess. 334 00:20:28,076 --> 00:20:30,206 "We've finished, but we can't leave until five!" Yes. 335 00:20:30,206 --> 00:20:32,322 "Anything you always wanted to do?" 336 00:20:34,945 --> 00:20:37,785 And it has no effect on frogs whatsoever. 337 00:20:37,785 --> 00:20:41,415 And the reason is that frogs don't use the resonance of the air 338 00:20:41,415 --> 00:20:44,705 inside the vocal tract to vocalise the way we do. 339 00:20:44,705 --> 00:20:48,336 They seem to create resonance by using their skin instead. 340 00:20:48,336 --> 00:20:50,525 And that is not affected by helium. 341 00:20:50,525 --> 00:20:53,175 OK. So, having that piece of information in your heads, 342 00:20:53,175 --> 00:20:55,785 what do you think would happen if you asked a dinosaur 343 00:20:55,785 --> 00:20:57,559 to suck on a party balloon? 344 00:20:59,355 --> 00:21:02,635 I think he'd be like, "I died thousands of years ago. 345 00:21:02,635 --> 00:21:04,318 "This is a dream." 346 00:21:05,976 --> 00:21:07,255 It would sound like... 347 00:21:07,255 --> 00:21:09,865 CONSTRICTED VOICE: I died thousands of years ago. 348 00:21:09,865 --> 00:21:11,116 This is a dream. 349 00:21:12,525 --> 00:21:14,155 Actually, Corey, you would be right. 350 00:21:14,155 --> 00:21:15,875 Because you can't try it out on dinosaurs, 351 00:21:15,875 --> 00:21:19,605 so in 2015 the same experiment was carried out on a Chinese alligator, 352 00:21:19,605 --> 00:21:22,235 which is as close as they could get, by Austrian scientists. 353 00:21:22,235 --> 00:21:27,925 And it turns out pumping helium into the tank of a Chinese alligator 354 00:21:27,925 --> 00:21:30,735 affects her voice as it does ours. 355 00:21:30,735 --> 00:21:32,976 So let's have a listen to before, and then straightaway, 356 00:21:32,976 --> 00:21:34,086 the after with the helium. 357 00:21:34,086 --> 00:21:36,054 RESONANT GRUNTS 358 00:21:37,595 --> 00:21:39,925 It's lower? Does it make it lower? 359 00:21:39,925 --> 00:21:42,315 Well, the thing is, it just changes the timbre. 360 00:21:42,315 --> 00:21:45,155 What helium doesn't do, people think it makes your voice higher. 361 00:21:45,155 --> 00:21:48,765 It doesn't. Every voice, as you well know, is a mixed frequency. 362 00:21:48,765 --> 00:21:51,685 So all it does, is it causes some of those frequencies in humans, 363 00:21:51,685 --> 00:21:53,295 the higher ones, to be amplified. 364 00:21:53,295 --> 00:21:54,925 So we just hear them more. 365 00:21:54,925 --> 00:21:56,875 It doesn't actually make your voice any higher. 366 00:21:56,875 --> 00:21:58,915 Apparently, because it's true of alligators, 367 00:21:58,915 --> 00:22:02,175 it must be true of dinosaurs because of the alligator being a descendant. 368 00:22:02,175 --> 00:22:04,575 That'll be a really bad, like, next Jurassic Park. 369 00:22:04,575 --> 00:22:07,175 Like, the third one. Yeah. 370 00:22:07,175 --> 00:22:10,305 2015 they were very busy. They also discovered that giraffes hum. 371 00:22:10,305 --> 00:22:12,635 For pleasure? Well, we don't know. 372 00:22:12,635 --> 00:22:17,435 They recorded giraffes at three different zoos and they found that they make this really deep sound. 373 00:22:17,435 --> 00:22:19,745 It's just within human hearing range. 374 00:22:19,745 --> 00:22:23,885 And they don't know if they're snoring or sleep talking or just saying... 375 00:22:23,885 --> 00:22:27,945 "It's all right. I'm still here. Don't you worry. Light will come in the morning." They hum at night. 376 00:22:27,945 --> 00:22:30,515 Could they be a three part harmony? 377 00:22:30,515 --> 00:22:32,745 Yeah. 378 00:22:32,745 --> 00:22:36,335 That to me looks like the giraffe version of going into the loos 379 00:22:36,335 --> 00:22:39,345 with one of your friends when she's about to vomit. 380 00:22:39,345 --> 00:22:41,802 "Hold her hair. I'm fine!" 381 00:22:45,785 --> 00:22:48,674 What about the next guy, "Don't take a picture now!" 382 00:22:57,335 --> 00:23:01,485 That one on the left looks so drunk, it tried to have sex with that tree. 383 00:23:01,485 --> 00:23:04,715 "She's only got one leg, well, I'll have a go." 384 00:23:04,715 --> 00:23:08,076 "She's still here, she can't be going anywhere." 385 00:23:08,076 --> 00:23:10,385 I spend some of my childhood in east Africa. 386 00:23:10,385 --> 00:23:14,305 And we had some neighbours who had a Mini. They had brought it over all the way from England. 387 00:23:14,305 --> 00:23:17,845 And one day they didn't come home, everyone was worried, it turned out 388 00:23:17,845 --> 00:23:23,735 a giraffe had taken that rather interesting shape there and tried to hump their Mini 389 00:23:23,735 --> 00:23:25,805 and got stuck over the car. 390 00:23:27,155 --> 00:23:31,515 They couldn't open the doors and then the giraffe couldn't get off. 391 00:23:31,515 --> 00:23:33,494 They drove it back to England. 392 00:23:35,885 --> 00:23:38,399 We'll knock him off in the Dartford tunnel. 393 00:23:47,165 --> 00:23:49,155 Now I'm going to give you the horn. 394 00:23:49,155 --> 00:23:50,715 OK. 395 00:23:50,715 --> 00:23:54,226 There's one each for you two. 396 00:23:54,226 --> 00:23:55,895 And I have here... 397 00:23:55,895 --> 00:24:00,875 And I want to know, what noise is that for? 398 00:24:00,875 --> 00:24:04,572 Is this going to be some sort of Latvian arse trumpet or something? 399 00:24:06,255 --> 00:24:08,375 And two points to Ross! 400 00:24:08,375 --> 00:24:10,615 Someone in the audience had an offer. 401 00:24:10,615 --> 00:24:11,815 Does anybody know? 402 00:24:11,815 --> 00:24:13,236 WOMAN: Heartbeats. 403 00:24:13,236 --> 00:24:15,595 It is for a heartbeat, what kind of heartbeat? 404 00:24:15,595 --> 00:24:16,875 AUDI ENCE: Foetal. 405 00:24:16,875 --> 00:24:18,155 It is still used. 406 00:24:18,155 --> 00:24:19,465 It is for the foetal heartbeat. 407 00:24:19,465 --> 00:24:21,818 It is called a Pinard horn, and to this day 408 00:24:21,818 --> 00:24:23,508 it is still used by midwives 409 00:24:23,508 --> 00:24:25,487 to listen for the foetal heartbeat. 410 00:24:25,487 --> 00:24:30,637 It was invented in 1895 by a French obstetrician called Adolf Pinard. 411 00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:33,277 And what is so fantastic is that they haven't improved on it. 412 00:24:33,277 --> 00:24:35,277 It's still used today. 413 00:24:35,277 --> 00:24:39,127 You can buy them on any website of foetal heartbeat... 414 00:24:39,127 --> 00:24:41,402 No, it's too late. He's dead. 415 00:24:47,208 --> 00:24:49,157 It's inspired by the original stethoscope. 416 00:24:49,157 --> 00:24:52,317 Does anybody know why the original stethoscope was invented? 417 00:24:52,317 --> 00:24:54,078 For hearing things. 418 00:24:54,078 --> 00:24:55,078 Yes. 419 00:24:56,447 --> 00:24:58,387 Is it like an early Walkman, 420 00:24:58,387 --> 00:25:00,241 and you'd attach it to a chamber orchestra? 421 00:25:01,847 --> 00:25:04,797 And they'd run behind you... You'd have in on like that... 422 00:25:04,797 --> 00:25:06,107 "This is ridiculous. 423 00:25:06,107 --> 00:25:08,637 "I've been running. Oh, hang on." 424 00:25:08,637 --> 00:25:12,747 Was it so you could get through lady's garments, so they didn't have to disrobe? 425 00:25:12,747 --> 00:25:14,117 It is to do with embarrassment. 426 00:25:14,117 --> 00:25:16,597 Dr Rene Laennec, he had to listen to women's chests. 427 00:25:16,597 --> 00:25:19,427 But he didn't want to put his ear too close. 428 00:25:19,427 --> 00:25:21,637 He was embarrassed. Too awkward for everyone. 429 00:25:21,637 --> 00:25:24,387 Too awkward, so 1816, he invented the stethoscope. 430 00:25:24,387 --> 00:25:26,277 Conversation tubes, introduced in the 1600s, 431 00:25:26,277 --> 00:25:27,997 it was the same sort of awkwardness. 432 00:25:27,997 --> 00:25:30,107 A Puritan couple, so they could have a conversation, 433 00:25:30,107 --> 00:25:31,667 they could talk through a tube. 434 00:25:31,667 --> 00:25:36,107 Those were then used as the very first commercial hearing aids, about 1800. 435 00:25:36,107 --> 00:25:38,847 Have a look at that. These ones are actually... 436 00:25:38,847 --> 00:25:40,637 This will work, will it? 437 00:25:40,637 --> 00:25:42,948 If you speak... Oh, Jesus! 438 00:25:42,948 --> 00:25:44,487 What's wrong with you?! 439 00:25:44,487 --> 00:25:47,307 Speak in it to yourself, then you can hear most clearly. 440 00:25:47,307 --> 00:25:48,797 I can just do that. 441 00:25:50,567 --> 00:25:51,807 Hello, Ross. "Hello." 442 00:25:54,317 --> 00:25:56,524 Hello. Germany calling. 443 00:25:58,587 --> 00:26:01,637 The one on the picture, we actually have here. 444 00:26:01,637 --> 00:26:03,157 This is... The one in the picture. 445 00:26:03,157 --> 00:26:04,601 I can't look quite as cheerful. 446 00:26:06,917 --> 00:26:08,747 I can hear the sea. 447 00:26:08,747 --> 00:26:10,567 Is that what you're supposed to... 448 00:26:12,597 --> 00:26:15,577 You know how people worry about what earrings to wear, those, I think, 449 00:26:15,577 --> 00:26:17,167 are working for you. 450 00:26:17,167 --> 00:26:19,877 You look like Mickey Mouse and Prince Charles had a child. 451 00:26:19,877 --> 00:26:21,287 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 452 00:26:26,477 --> 00:26:27,757 Thank you. 453 00:26:27,757 --> 00:26:30,527 This is extraordinary. This one is really extraordinary. 454 00:26:30,527 --> 00:26:32,575 You put that bit in your ear. Hello? 455 00:26:34,687 --> 00:26:37,828 I wonder will this, like, amplify between that and the...? 456 00:26:37,828 --> 00:26:38,828 Oh, no way! 457 00:26:41,527 --> 00:26:43,757 Just to get on the show again. You must be joking! 458 00:26:46,687 --> 00:26:48,357 This one is really extraordinary. 459 00:26:48,357 --> 00:26:50,078 It's been lent to us by Dr Laurie Slater, 460 00:26:50,078 --> 00:26:52,477 who's a GP who collects medical oddities. 461 00:26:52,477 --> 00:26:54,467 It is a silver ear trumpet. 462 00:26:54,467 --> 00:26:55,958 It was made in 1880, 463 00:26:55,958 --> 00:27:00,828 and it is possible it is actually Queen Victoria's hearing aid. 464 00:27:00,828 --> 00:27:02,078 It is possible. 465 00:27:02,078 --> 00:27:05,367 There is no direct evidence of this, but they are very rare. And this one is unique, 466 00:27:05,367 --> 00:27:07,877 so it is possible this is what Queen Victoria used to... 467 00:27:07,877 --> 00:27:09,287 The stories that could tell. 468 00:27:09,287 --> 00:27:10,437 I know. 469 00:27:10,437 --> 00:27:12,078 When you say it's possible, is that like, 470 00:27:12,078 --> 00:27:15,317 did like an ear wax expert lick it and go... 471 00:27:15,317 --> 00:27:16,477 "Queen Victoria." 472 00:27:18,088 --> 00:27:19,838 I think if you are an ear wax specialist, 473 00:27:19,838 --> 00:27:22,157 you probably don't lick. Just saying. I don't really know. 474 00:27:22,157 --> 00:27:25,078 Lots of fantastic hearing aids in the 19th century. 475 00:27:25,078 --> 00:27:26,958 Here are some brilliant ones. 476 00:27:26,958 --> 00:27:28,997 I love the beard one. 477 00:27:28,997 --> 00:27:32,007 The walking cane, there's a little earpiece under the handle. 478 00:27:32,007 --> 00:27:35,157 You can hold it up, so nobody knows you're listening. 479 00:27:35,157 --> 00:27:38,367 And the other one is a vase of flowers, 480 00:27:38,367 --> 00:27:40,756 with that completely inconspicuous tube. 481 00:27:42,597 --> 00:27:45,637 I like how they try to jazz it up for a lady, perhaps. Yeah. 482 00:27:45,637 --> 00:27:47,667 Right, speaking of ears. 483 00:27:47,667 --> 00:27:50,367 I'm going to play you two recordings, OK? 484 00:27:50,367 --> 00:27:53,117 One is of hot water being poured into a bowl. 485 00:27:53,117 --> 00:27:55,267 And one is of cold water being poured into a bowl. 486 00:27:55,267 --> 00:27:56,947 I want you to tell me which is which. 487 00:27:56,947 --> 00:27:58,067 Here is the first one. 488 00:27:58,067 --> 00:27:59,500 WATER POURS 489 00:28:02,307 --> 00:28:04,467 And here is the second one. 490 00:28:04,467 --> 00:28:05,684 WATER POURS 491 00:28:07,307 --> 00:28:09,320 So... Sorry, I need a wee! 492 00:28:12,257 --> 00:28:15,007 What do we think the first one is? Hot or cold? Hot. 493 00:28:15,007 --> 00:28:16,968 Hot. Everybody hot? 494 00:28:16,968 --> 00:28:19,477 Yes, I'll go hot. I thought it was the first one. 495 00:28:19,477 --> 00:28:22,327 It sounded like emptying a kettle. 496 00:28:22,327 --> 00:28:24,327 The second one sounded like filling a kettle. 497 00:28:24,327 --> 00:28:27,187 Oh! OK. 498 00:28:27,187 --> 00:28:28,916 AUDI ENCE MEMBER: Ooh! 499 00:28:30,197 --> 00:28:32,483 The audience are mocking me. 500 00:28:33,727 --> 00:28:36,388 Since Stephen left, they've just turned. 501 00:28:36,388 --> 00:28:37,741 They've gone, 502 00:28:37,741 --> 00:28:40,072 "No-one's taking the piss out of that idiot. It's up to us." 503 00:28:40,072 --> 00:28:42,597 LAUGHTER 504 00:28:44,281 --> 00:28:47,511 That woman there, you said, "One was filled, one was..." 505 00:28:47,511 --> 00:28:50,461 I think that woman went, "Ooh!" 506 00:28:50,461 --> 00:28:53,901 "Oh, yeah." Admiration. 507 00:28:53,901 --> 00:28:57,431 The sound of admiration. I've never heard that before. 508 00:28:57,431 --> 00:29:00,021 LAUGHTER 509 00:29:00,021 --> 00:29:02,391 The second one sounded kind of crisp and cold. 510 00:29:02,391 --> 00:29:04,461 I wanted a drink. Let's have one more listen. 511 00:29:04,461 --> 00:29:06,181 This is the first one. Have a listen. 512 00:29:06,181 --> 00:29:07,387 WATER POURS 513 00:29:09,901 --> 00:29:10,901 And the second one... 514 00:29:10,901 --> 00:29:12,471 WATER POURS 515 00:29:14,231 --> 00:29:16,221 Can we just bear in mind, this is QI, 516 00:29:16,221 --> 00:29:18,711 so I've got a feeling that it might be somebody 517 00:29:18,711 --> 00:29:20,181 pouring soup onto a horse. 518 00:29:20,181 --> 00:29:21,466 LAUGHTER 519 00:29:24,171 --> 00:29:25,171 APPLAUSE 520 00:29:29,812 --> 00:29:32,021 I promise you, it's hot and cold water. 521 00:29:32,021 --> 00:29:33,830 Hands up who thinks the first one is hot. 522 00:29:35,741 --> 00:29:38,721 And hands up who thinks the first one is cold. 523 00:29:38,721 --> 00:29:42,231 Oh, that's weird. So, it is about the right percentage. 524 00:29:42,231 --> 00:29:46,101 96% correctly, usually, identify the first one as hot. 525 00:29:46,101 --> 00:29:47,461 AUDIENCE MEMBER: Whoo! 526 00:29:47,461 --> 00:29:48,461 Yes! 527 00:29:49,461 --> 00:29:51,281 They do make different noises, 528 00:29:51,281 --> 00:29:53,751 because hot water is, kind of, slightly less sticky, 529 00:29:53,751 --> 00:29:57,031 is the thing of it, molecules in it have more energy from the heat, 530 00:29:57,031 --> 00:29:58,891 and so when hot water hits a hard surface, 531 00:29:58,891 --> 00:30:00,822 it breaks up into smaller particles 532 00:30:00,822 --> 00:30:04,461 and makes a higher pitched splashing noise than cold water. 533 00:30:04,461 --> 00:30:06,351 So... But now you'll know. 534 00:30:06,351 --> 00:30:07,822 Yeah. That's good. 535 00:30:07,822 --> 00:30:09,392 I'll be like, that was hot! 536 00:30:10,861 --> 00:30:13,391 Next time you pour boiling water on yourself, you'll be like, 537 00:30:13,391 --> 00:30:18,161 "Is it hot... Oh, wait, the sound of it... Yes, I am, I'm burning." 538 00:30:18,161 --> 00:30:22,001 Why would you want a falcon's nose with you on a plane? 539 00:30:22,001 --> 00:30:26,040 Is it because it holds exactly 150ml? 540 00:30:29,881 --> 00:30:34,871 No. Is this got something to do with... They've got vents, haven't they? 541 00:30:34,871 --> 00:30:39,511 They've got those things to stop them bursting, isn't it? 542 00:30:39,511 --> 00:30:44,791 Well, not really so much bursting as being aerodynamic. 543 00:30:44,791 --> 00:30:50,961 It's almost like a tunnel in their beak, it funnels the air... - It is about funnelling. 544 00:30:51,031 --> 00:30:55,041 What it is aeroplanes used to have a particular problem when they reached a certain speed, 545 00:30:55,041 --> 00:30:59,791 so the air in front of them struck a wall of resistance and it causes the engine to choke. 546 00:30:59,791 --> 00:31:02,191 Now you might expect the falcon to have a similar problem because 547 00:31:02,191 --> 00:31:06,261 it can reach speeds of up to 200mph. Which is unbelievable. Mm. 548 00:31:06,261 --> 00:31:08,434 I know that cos it's on Top Trumps. 549 00:31:11,661 --> 00:31:14,751 Got a four-year-old, been playing a lot of Top Trumps. 550 00:31:14,751 --> 00:31:18,511 But it can still breath because it has a cone shaped structure 551 00:31:18,511 --> 00:31:22,541 within each nostril that directs the air into their air passages. 552 00:31:22,541 --> 00:31:26,952 I love this, they studied this and they made a similar device, a metallic cone, 553 00:31:26,952 --> 00:31:31,082 which now goes on the opening of jet engines and it allows air to enter the engines 554 00:31:31,082 --> 00:31:33,621 even when travelling at supersonic speeds. 555 00:31:33,621 --> 00:31:40,151 Is it bad when a falcon flies into one of their rotors and then the plane...? 556 00:31:40,151 --> 00:31:42,671 It's bad for the falcon, certainly. 557 00:31:42,671 --> 00:31:46,751 That's bird strike. That's a big problem with hitting the engines. 558 00:31:46,751 --> 00:31:52,191 And the other one is frog strike from the helium frogs. 559 00:31:52,191 --> 00:31:55,591 People don't think enough about that, I don't think. 560 00:31:55,591 --> 00:31:59,031 Anyway. Lots of birds have improved or helped to improve engineering. 561 00:31:59,031 --> 00:32:02,261 Kingfishers have improved the design of bullet trains as well. 562 00:32:02,261 --> 00:32:04,801 This is a lovely story. 1990s, the very fast trains 563 00:32:04,801 --> 00:32:08,271 making extremely loud booming noise when they got out of a tunnel. 564 00:32:08,271 --> 00:32:11,391 And it's caused by a cushion of air which is built up in front of the 565 00:32:11,391 --> 00:32:13,471 speeding train while it was in the tunnel 566 00:32:13,471 --> 00:32:15,741 and it was waking up residents, disturbing wildlife. And there was an ... 567 00:32:15,741 --> 00:32:21,321 .. engineer working on the problem and he saw a kingfisher dive into the water one day. 568 00:32:21,321 --> 00:32:24,261 And he noticed it was almost no splash whatsoever. 569 00:32:24,261 --> 00:32:27,871 And that is because of that lovely beautiful long pointy beak. 570 00:32:27,871 --> 00:32:31,591 He applied the same logic to the trains and they now have long pointy noses 571 00:32:31,591 --> 00:32:35,711 and it stops the air cushion building up and it makes them more aerodynamic 572 00:32:35,711 --> 00:32:38,241 and so 15% more energy efficient. 573 00:32:38,241 --> 00:32:42,241 Isn't that lovely that every time we look at one of those, you can imagine a kingfisher? 574 00:32:42,241 --> 00:32:44,551 Do you think they're going to start killing all the birds 575 00:32:44,551 --> 00:32:47,391 they don't need any more cos we've learned enough? 576 00:32:47,391 --> 00:32:51,475 "The engines are working, the train is making the sound. Kill the bird." 577 00:33:00,351 --> 00:33:02,521 And now for the stuff that nobody knows. 578 00:33:02,521 --> 00:33:03,832 It's General Ignorance. 579 00:33:03,832 --> 00:33:05,681 Fingers on buzzers, please. 580 00:33:05,681 --> 00:33:08,901 I got a mystery artefact for you. 581 00:33:08,901 --> 00:33:12,211 And I want to know what is this? 582 00:33:13,631 --> 00:33:15,832 There we go. Have a look. 583 00:33:15,832 --> 00:33:17,751 What do you reckon that is? 584 00:33:17,751 --> 00:33:21,082 Well, it looks like a bit of a brain. 585 00:33:21,082 --> 00:33:25,801 It looks like a professional rugby player's ear. 586 00:33:25,801 --> 00:33:28,871 "A couple of great years with the team..." 587 00:33:28,871 --> 00:33:32,911 You're in the right area. It's been lent to us by the Horniman Museum, which is, if you ... 588 00:33:32,911 --> 00:33:35,761 .. haven't been, it's one of the best museums I've ever been to. It's fabulous. 589 00:33:35,761 --> 00:33:38,031 They have all kinds of animal bits and bobs in that place. 590 00:33:38,031 --> 00:33:39,471 It's fantastic. 591 00:33:39,471 --> 00:33:41,041 And very good cheesecake. 592 00:33:42,671 --> 00:33:46,082 One of the funniest collections of antique cheesecake anywhere. 593 00:33:46,082 --> 00:33:49,191 So is this cheesecake? No. Aislang was right 594 00:33:49,191 --> 00:33:51,911 where she was heading with it. It's an ear. 595 00:33:51,911 --> 00:33:54,981 It is in fact a sperm whale eardrum. 596 00:33:54,981 --> 00:33:57,391 It's an extraordinary thing. 597 00:33:57,391 --> 00:34:00,521 While we're on the subject of whales, we go slightly up the scale. 598 00:34:00,521 --> 00:34:03,991 Which of these weighs the same as a blue whale's heart? 599 00:34:03,991 --> 00:34:05,981 BOY'S VOICE: 'I am Mola Ram.' 600 00:34:05,981 --> 00:34:08,351 Ross. I'm going to say the Beetle. 601 00:34:08,351 --> 00:34:09,351 KLAXON 602 00:34:13,351 --> 00:34:15,401 I have heard of the blue whale. 603 00:34:15,401 --> 00:34:16,607 People have... 604 00:34:18,962 --> 00:34:22,161 People have supplied me with many blue whale facts over the years. 605 00:34:22,161 --> 00:34:25,161 One of the blue whale facts that I've been told was that it... 606 00:34:25,161 --> 00:34:28,241 The heart is about the size of a Mini... 607 00:34:28,241 --> 00:34:30,391 Well, here's the extraordinary thing. 608 00:34:30,391 --> 00:34:32,832 Nobody checked. Everybody thought it was the same size, 609 00:34:32,832 --> 00:34:34,871 and exactly the same weight as a Beetle. 610 00:34:34,871 --> 00:34:36,601 And nobody bothered to check. 611 00:34:36,601 --> 00:34:39,801 But 2015, which has been the year of checking things, 612 00:34:39,801 --> 00:34:43,391 they never thought to consider having a look at. 613 00:34:43,391 --> 00:34:45,881 They checked, it turns out that, in fact, 614 00:34:45,881 --> 00:34:47,621 it weighs about the same as a male gorilla. 615 00:34:47,621 --> 00:34:49,801 It's about 28-and-a-half stone. 616 00:34:49,801 --> 00:34:51,261 But a lot lighter than a Beetle. 617 00:34:51,261 --> 00:34:53,421 It is about 22% of what a Beetle would weigh. 618 00:34:53,421 --> 00:34:55,671 There he is. Isn't it extraordinary? 619 00:34:55,671 --> 00:34:57,801 Are they doing a transplant? 620 00:34:57,801 --> 00:34:59,814 They're going to put a Beetle in! 621 00:35:03,441 --> 00:35:05,321 MIMICS ENGINE 622 00:35:05,321 --> 00:35:07,681 It starts in all weathers. 623 00:35:07,681 --> 00:35:10,712 I like the way they normally use something like an equivalent 624 00:35:10,712 --> 00:35:13,041 that would be in your house so you could relate to it. 625 00:35:13,041 --> 00:35:15,631 But they're like, "It's as heavy as a guerrilla." 626 00:35:15,631 --> 00:35:17,962 And you're like, "Oh, now I understand." 627 00:35:17,962 --> 00:35:21,621 Here's one for you. It's the same size as a two-person dodgem car. 628 00:35:21,621 --> 00:35:24,601 I quite like that one. Yes. That one I can appreciate. 629 00:35:24,601 --> 00:35:29,071 Or a small golf cart, if you live in the Shires. 630 00:35:29,071 --> 00:35:33,351 It's also said that the aorta is big enough for a human to swim through and that's not true. 631 00:35:33,351 --> 00:35:36,801 It is big enough to put your head in, but... can get out. 632 00:35:36,801 --> 00:35:39,551 Is that what the intern is getting ready to do? 633 00:35:39,551 --> 00:35:41,351 I'm not sure what they're doing there. 634 00:35:41,351 --> 00:35:44,411 In other disappointing comparative anatomy news, 635 00:35:46,161 --> 00:35:50,551 our intestines apparently don't have the surface area of a football pitch. 636 00:35:50,551 --> 00:35:52,911 That's one of the things people often used to claim. 637 00:35:52,911 --> 00:35:56,431 Scientists in Sweden have remeasured 638 00:35:56,431 --> 00:36:00,431 using new techniques and it's only half the size of a badminton court. 639 00:36:00,431 --> 00:36:04,424 Imagine all the poor people who had to have their intestines pulled out 640 00:36:05,111 --> 00:36:07,001 for that. To be measured? Yeah. 641 00:36:07,001 --> 00:36:11,891 And they were like, "It was worth it for the truth!" 642 00:36:11,891 --> 00:36:13,921 "I couldn't handle the lies any more." 643 00:36:13,921 --> 00:36:17,791 But think about all the poor kid soccer teams who had... What a nightmare that was. 644 00:36:17,791 --> 00:36:21,881 "We trying to have a game of football. What you spreading this out for?" 645 00:36:21,881 --> 00:36:24,712 So they gave it up, took up badminton, next thing you know, 646 00:36:24,712 --> 00:36:26,681 "Not again." 647 00:36:26,681 --> 00:36:28,691 Right, fingers on buzzers. 648 00:36:28,691 --> 00:36:32,561 If I toot my horn and flash my lamps at exactly the same time, 649 00:36:32,561 --> 00:36:35,722 what is the first thing that you will notice? 650 00:36:35,722 --> 00:36:37,041 BOY'S VOICE: 'I am Mola Ram!' 651 00:36:37,041 --> 00:36:39,071 Oh, Ross, you're quick on the buzzer today. 652 00:36:39,071 --> 00:36:40,601 You've taken up dogging? 653 00:36:40,601 --> 00:36:41,852 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 654 00:36:47,681 --> 00:36:50,361 Every girl needs a hobby. 655 00:36:50,361 --> 00:36:53,991 No shame in that. Do you know what dogging is? 656 00:36:53,991 --> 00:36:56,281 Should I? 657 00:36:56,281 --> 00:36:59,712 It's a quaint old English custom... 658 00:36:59,712 --> 00:37:03,471 What you need to do is after the show, hail down a cab, 659 00:37:03,471 --> 00:37:05,611 it's got to be a black cab. 660 00:37:05,611 --> 00:37:11,891 Jump in and say, "Excuse me, cabbie, take me to the finest dogging area." 661 00:37:11,891 --> 00:37:17,431 I'm going to go on a limb and say that I shouldn't do that. 662 00:37:17,431 --> 00:37:21,641 What I'm saying is, when in Rome, just give it a try. 663 00:37:21,641 --> 00:37:25,051 What it is, Corey, is people having sex in cars 664 00:37:25,051 --> 00:37:28,361 and people walk their dogs and watch. 665 00:37:29,511 --> 00:37:32,962 Oh! So it's a perv thing? Yeah. It's an exhibitionism thing. 666 00:37:32,962 --> 00:37:35,001 So, wait. 667 00:37:35,001 --> 00:37:38,852 So the people are doing it specifically so dog walkers will watch? Yeah. 668 00:37:38,852 --> 00:37:43,403 What is wrong with you? You talk about Americans... 669 00:37:45,641 --> 00:37:47,962 The difference is, if it was in America, 670 00:37:47,962 --> 00:37:51,201 it will be people having sex and firing guns at the same time. 671 00:37:51,201 --> 00:37:52,722 That's true. 672 00:37:52,722 --> 00:37:55,972 Which to me doesn't sound as odd. Yeah. 673 00:37:55,972 --> 00:37:58,801 Is it to do with how far away things are? 674 00:37:58,801 --> 00:38:02,041 Yes, absolutely. So if the car's a really long way away, 675 00:38:02,041 --> 00:38:05,761 the light will get to you before the sound of the horn does? 676 00:38:05,761 --> 00:38:07,921 Like a thunderstorm principle? 677 00:38:07,921 --> 00:38:09,921 Yes. The brain has to process both. 678 00:38:09,921 --> 00:38:11,691 It's not enough for it to reach you. 679 00:38:11,691 --> 00:38:13,251 The brain has got to process it. 680 00:38:13,251 --> 00:38:15,641 It processes sound faster than it processes light. 681 00:38:15,641 --> 00:38:18,791 So, if you're close enough, then you'll hear the horn first. 682 00:38:18,791 --> 00:38:21,241 But as you get further away from the source, so for example, 683 00:38:21,241 --> 00:38:22,791 a plane in the sky, 684 00:38:22,791 --> 00:38:25,842 the difference between when the sound reaches you and when the light 685 00:38:25,842 --> 00:38:29,051 reaches your increases. Light travels faster than sound, and therefore... 686 00:38:29,051 --> 00:38:31,361 I wonder if that is an evolutionary thing, 687 00:38:31,361 --> 00:38:35,871 because things that are dangerous to humans make noises in the dark. 688 00:38:35,871 --> 00:38:39,201 Yeah. So we prioritised the ears. 689 00:38:39,201 --> 00:38:41,241 I mean, our hearing is extraordinary 690 00:38:41,241 --> 00:38:43,871 because it can detect frequencies from 20 hertz to over 20,000. 691 00:38:43,871 --> 00:38:46,251 Whereas the eye, the range is much, much smaller. 692 00:38:46,251 --> 00:38:47,921 Not after your concerts, obviously. 693 00:38:47,921 --> 00:38:50,511 No, no. Ears are great, aren't they, Sandi? 694 00:38:50,511 --> 00:38:53,331 I think that's a message for people back home today. 695 00:38:53,331 --> 00:38:55,083 Ears, they're great. 696 00:38:56,431 --> 00:38:59,871 This is brought to you by the Ear Advisory Board. 697 00:38:59,871 --> 00:39:02,041 Ears, don't knock 'em till you've tried 'em. 698 00:39:02,041 --> 00:39:04,441 What? 699 00:39:04,441 --> 00:39:06,056 LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE 700 00:39:10,441 --> 00:39:13,513 Which vitamin can stop you getting a runny nose? 701 00:39:15,001 --> 00:39:17,641 Don't let Ross win again! HEAVY METAL MUSIC 702 00:39:17,641 --> 00:39:19,081 Corey! 703 00:39:19,081 --> 00:39:21,371 C? C, yes. 704 00:39:21,371 --> 00:39:22,793 KLAXON 705 00:39:26,881 --> 00:39:29,331 People used to believe that vitamin C was the thing 706 00:39:29,331 --> 00:39:31,972 if you were trying to prevent colds, but it does nothing at all. 707 00:39:31,972 --> 00:39:34,531 There's hardly any evidence it even alleviates the symptoms. 708 00:39:34,531 --> 00:39:36,641 The one you want is the sunshine vitamin. 709 00:39:36,641 --> 00:39:38,011 D! Absolutely right. 710 00:39:38,011 --> 00:39:40,521 That does prevent people getting colds in the first place, 711 00:39:40,521 --> 00:39:43,411 and reduces the incidence of flu. 712 00:39:43,411 --> 00:39:45,921 Most people who take vitamins shouldn't bother, 713 00:39:45,921 --> 00:39:47,641 is the absolute truth of it. 714 00:39:47,641 --> 00:39:49,441 So, one vitamin C tablet contains 715 00:39:49,441 --> 00:39:53,121 ten times the recommended daily allowance of the vitamin, 716 00:39:53,121 --> 00:39:55,281 and you just don't really need it. 717 00:39:55,281 --> 00:39:57,161 You just wee it away. 718 00:39:57,161 --> 00:40:02,881 You just wee it away. So, if you put a duck in an echo chamber, what... 719 00:40:02,881 --> 00:40:04,644 LAUGHTER 720 00:40:05,871 --> 00:40:08,411 How are you going to play? What are you likely to hear? 721 00:40:08,411 --> 00:40:09,722 HEAVY METAL MUSIC 722 00:40:09,722 --> 00:40:12,081 Corey. 723 00:40:12,081 --> 00:40:14,060 It will become pregnant. 724 00:40:15,281 --> 00:40:17,842 I like how your mind works. 725 00:40:17,842 --> 00:40:20,211 It's possible I like everything about you, Corey. 726 00:40:20,211 --> 00:40:21,701 But no, it's not that. 727 00:40:21,701 --> 00:40:25,842 I know this only because Lee Mack has a show called 728 00:40:25,842 --> 00:40:27,592 Duck Quacks Don't Echo. 729 00:40:27,592 --> 00:40:29,211 And what's the answer? 730 00:40:29,211 --> 00:40:31,521 Ducks' quacks don't echo. 731 00:40:31,521 --> 00:40:33,853 KLAXON 732 00:40:35,651 --> 00:40:37,801 APPLAUSE Unbelievable. 733 00:40:37,801 --> 00:40:41,921 Do you know what, you're right, Lee Mack does have that show. 734 00:40:41,921 --> 00:40:43,771 And I thought that was a thing. 735 00:40:43,771 --> 00:40:46,934 We'll be finding out next that some mothers DON'T have 'em! 736 00:40:48,931 --> 00:40:50,161 Unbelievable! 737 00:40:50,161 --> 00:40:53,801 So, that isn't right, because ducks' quacks do echo, 738 00:40:53,801 --> 00:40:56,771 but in fact, most ducks don't quack at all. 739 00:40:56,771 --> 00:40:58,951 What? Yes! 740 00:40:58,951 --> 00:41:00,851 This show, man! Oh, my God. 741 00:41:03,331 --> 00:41:06,331 It's mainly just female mallards that make the quacking noise. 742 00:41:06,331 --> 00:41:08,051 What I like, is that other species, 743 00:41:08,051 --> 00:41:10,051 they whistle, they coo and they yodel. 744 00:41:10,051 --> 00:41:11,561 AUDIENCE CHEERS 745 00:41:11,561 --> 00:41:13,371 Yes, they yodel. 746 00:41:13,371 --> 00:41:15,211 And some ducks are completely silent. 747 00:41:15,211 --> 00:41:16,921 They've nothing to say. Nothing. 748 00:41:16,921 --> 00:41:20,732 Just complete silence. What does a duck yodelling sound like? 749 00:41:20,732 --> 00:41:23,771 You can actually have a look on various popular websites 750 00:41:23,771 --> 00:41:25,561 and see ducks yodelling. 751 00:41:25,561 --> 00:41:29,641 Some of the worst Hank Williams tribute acts you'll ever see. 752 00:41:29,641 --> 00:41:35,281 We went to Kew Gardens the other day and there's a lot of activity in the ponds. Yes. 753 00:41:35,281 --> 00:41:38,961 The male ducks pursuing the female ducks... They're not nice about it. 754 00:41:38,961 --> 00:41:42,602 It's not nice, and you're taking the kids. Yeah. 755 00:41:42,602 --> 00:41:46,061 As we went in, there's a woman at the gate giving out guide maps 756 00:41:46,061 --> 00:41:50,293 and stuff and she says, "The ducks' behaviour at the moment is despicable." 757 00:41:56,771 --> 00:41:59,131 There's no foreplay, is there? Nothing at all. 758 00:41:59,131 --> 00:42:00,610 It's outright assault. 759 00:42:02,241 --> 00:42:04,852 So, that brings us to the matter of the scores. 760 00:42:04,852 --> 00:42:07,051 In last place with minus 9 points, it's Corey. 761 00:42:07,051 --> 00:42:09,121 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 762 00:42:13,421 --> 00:42:16,211 In third place, with minus 4, it's Ross. 763 00:42:16,211 --> 00:42:17,803 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 764 00:42:21,881 --> 00:42:24,811 And in second place, with minus 2, it's Aisling. 765 00:42:24,811 --> 00:42:27,211 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 766 00:42:29,931 --> 00:42:33,441 And our runaway winner, with eight points, it's Alan! 767 00:42:33,441 --> 00:42:36,057 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 768 00:42:44,781 --> 00:42:48,602 My thanks to Corey, Ross, Aisling and Alan for their interesting noises. 769 00:42:48,602 --> 00:42:50,732 And the last word on the subject 770 00:42:50,732 --> 00:42:53,061 goes to American comedian Stephen Wright. 771 00:42:53,061 --> 00:42:55,031 "I didn't get a toy train like the other kids. 772 00:42:55,031 --> 00:42:56,761 "I got a toy subway instead. 773 00:42:56,761 --> 00:42:58,881 "You couldn't see anything, but every now and then, 774 00:42:58,881 --> 00:43:01,491 "you'd hear this rumbling noise go by." 775 00:43:01,491 --> 00:43:03,220 Goodnight.