1 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:34,880 Good evening, and welcome to QI, 2 00:00:34,880 --> 00:00:40,560 where tonight we're up in the attic rootling through the tea chests 3 00:00:40,560 --> 00:00:44,560 and old suitcases in search of Quite Interesting Odds And Ends. 4 00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:48,720 And joining me on my rummage are an absolute treasure, 5 00:00:48,720 --> 00:00:50,120 Romesh Ranganathan... 6 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:56,600 ..a collector's item, Liza Tarbuck... 7 00:00:59,320 --> 00:01:04,640 ..a guest of rare antiquity, Matt Lucas. Hello. 8 00:01:06,520 --> 00:01:09,960 And look who else we've managed to dig up - Alan Davies. 9 00:01:16,520 --> 00:01:20,600 Right, their buzzers are an O-ssortment of odds and sods. 10 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:21,760 Romesh goes... 11 00:01:21,760 --> 00:01:25,560 ♪ Bits and pieces, bits and pieces. ♪ 12 00:01:25,560 --> 00:01:26,760 Liza goes... 13 00:01:26,760 --> 00:01:31,440 ♪ I said I've had too much of this and that. ♪ 14 00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:33,520 Oh, I like that. Matt goes... 15 00:01:33,520 --> 00:01:36,600 ♪ Needles and pins. ♪ 16 00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:41,040 - These are jolly, aren't they? - They are. Ha. And Alan goes. 17 00:01:41,040 --> 00:01:45,200 ♪ Sex and drugs and rock and roll is very cool indeed. ♪ 18 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:52,840 OK, how's this for openers - what would you open with these? 19 00:01:52,840 --> 00:01:54,640 So, let's have a quick look. 20 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:57,200 I've got number one here. Do you want to have a look? 21 00:01:57,200 --> 00:01:59,440 A door? A lock or something like that? 22 00:01:59,440 --> 00:02:03,400 Well, it's going to certainly open something that's difficult to open. 23 00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:06,480 A safe, a suitcase. 24 00:02:06,480 --> 00:02:07,840 Your heart. 25 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:14,920 That would be a story, I tell you. 26 00:02:14,920 --> 00:02:17,480 Is it a device for... Yes? 27 00:02:17,480 --> 00:02:20,600 ..opening two unexploded party poppers? 28 00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,400 Oh, I want it to be that. Yeah. 29 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:27,520 I see that you're wearing a very fine watch there, Romesh. 30 00:02:32,200 --> 00:02:34,920 What do you think that it might be? It's for a watch. 31 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,960 That's why we have you on this show, 32 00:02:37,960 --> 00:02:40,920 it's the sharpness of the mind that is so fantastic. 33 00:02:40,920 --> 00:02:43,960 Is it...? No. 34 00:02:43,960 --> 00:02:45,000 No. 35 00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:48,240 It's the back case cover opener. 36 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:50,960 Yeah, so for a lady's... 37 00:02:50,960 --> 00:02:53,840 With a simple action, you can get the things closer together, 38 00:02:53,840 --> 00:02:55,600 or indeed further apart. 39 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:58,480 Yeah. So it could do a lady's watch or a gentleman's watch. 40 00:02:58,480 --> 00:03:01,560 And, also, you can measure the girth of your penis with it. 41 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:04,960 Maybe YOU can, mate. 42 00:03:06,920 --> 00:03:09,560 You could measure the length of yours with that. 43 00:03:15,800 --> 00:03:18,560 How did we get there so quickly! 44 00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:22,440 I just don't understand the applause of recognition 45 00:03:22,440 --> 00:03:24,720 from members of the audience. 46 00:03:24,720 --> 00:03:27,280 Yes? What...? Do you actually know? What do you do? 47 00:03:27,280 --> 00:03:29,360 I'm not sure your watch is worth opening. 48 00:03:31,560 --> 00:03:34,280 Thank you, Sandi. I was thinking to myself, I feel a bit victimised, 49 00:03:34,280 --> 00:03:36,720 it's been... Sorry, I'm sorry. But I don't mind, I don't mind 50 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:38,560 people talking about my penis, but my watch. 51 00:03:40,040 --> 00:03:43,280 That's a step too far. OK. Let's have a look at this one. 52 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:44,720 You guys can have a look at that one 53 00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:46,800 and see what you think of that. That's number two. 54 00:03:46,800 --> 00:03:49,640 Well, it's gynaecological, isn't it? If we're opening something. 55 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:52,320 It is opening something, but you may be at the wrong end. 56 00:03:52,320 --> 00:03:56,400 Is that for, when you do a heart transplant, keeping the chest open? 57 00:03:56,400 --> 00:03:59,720 Oh! So this thing here is also used in the same area. 58 00:03:59,720 --> 00:04:02,520 - So this is another... Oh, now you're talking. - Is it mouthy? 59 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:04,640 It is mouthy, darling, yes. OK. It's on the mouth side, 60 00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:07,280 do you want to try that? So it's something to do with the mouth. 61 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:08,840 So it's keeping the mouth... Yeah. 62 00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:11,960 So, if you see, Matt, the thing that it's got, it ratchets open, 63 00:04:11,960 --> 00:04:14,120 but you would... Is that right? It is. 64 00:04:18,080 --> 00:04:19,560 So what is that for? 65 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:22,080 Turning the mouth into a... into a letterbox or something? 66 00:04:24,960 --> 00:04:26,800 They can edit that out. 67 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:36,400 But the thing is, you can't get it out, Sandi, so... 68 00:04:36,400 --> 00:04:38,600 It's a cheap retractor. That's exactly how it works. 69 00:04:38,600 --> 00:04:40,000 Is it? And so is that. 70 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:43,240 No, so don't put that bit in your mouth, darling. Oh. 71 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:46,120 I sound like a school teacher. Don't put that bit in your mouth, darling. 72 00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:48,600 Put the black bit into your mouth, so... 73 00:04:48,600 --> 00:04:50,880 Yes, so the middle bit, you put that in. 74 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,120 Well, how? My mouth isn't that big. 75 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:55,560 Well, you've got to close it first. The thing. 76 00:04:55,560 --> 00:04:57,440 Oh. What, so put that in? 77 00:04:57,440 --> 00:04:59,400 No, put it around the other way, I think. 78 00:04:59,400 --> 00:05:02,760 I've been handling that. The other way? No, no. 79 00:05:02,760 --> 00:05:05,600 I usually have someone who looks after me. 80 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,760 And they help me out with things like this, 81 00:05:10,760 --> 00:05:13,160 I'm a little overwhelmed at this time. You were heading 82 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,800 in the right direction. What, in there? Yes, put that in like that. 83 00:05:15,800 --> 00:05:19,760 And then open it up. This? Yes. And it... Yeah. 84 00:05:19,760 --> 00:05:22,320 That's exactly, it holds the patient's mouth open 85 00:05:22,320 --> 00:05:24,360 while they're heaving dental treatment. 86 00:05:24,360 --> 00:05:26,560 It's the stuff of dreams, isn't it? Oh, yeah. 87 00:05:26,560 --> 00:05:29,280 What about this one? Anybody got any thoughts what that is? Oh. Wow. 88 00:05:29,280 --> 00:05:30,800 So it's all about openings. 89 00:05:30,800 --> 00:05:33,720 If I was drunk, I'd say something that I won't say it now. 90 00:05:33,720 --> 00:05:36,400 No, go on, treat yourself. Er, no, I can't possibly. 91 00:05:36,400 --> 00:05:39,600 - Are you thinking about a butt plug? - Yes. 92 00:05:39,600 --> 00:05:44,080 Hold on, what are you, you're trying to get into the butt? 93 00:05:44,080 --> 00:05:46,200 Well, it's a drill, isn't it? 94 00:05:46,200 --> 00:05:47,880 Why do you want to plug your butt? 95 00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,880 Oh, well... Well... Well, basically... Yes? 96 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,960 Isn't it to do with re-educating the muscle to tighten again? 97 00:05:55,960 --> 00:05:59,000 Oh. "Re-educating" your arse! 98 00:06:00,840 --> 00:06:04,280 "Mum, Mum, I've got a lovely new job, I'm in education." 99 00:06:04,280 --> 00:06:06,920 Do you want to have a look? You can have a look. No? 100 00:06:06,920 --> 00:06:09,520 Is it anything to do with wine? No, no, it isn't anything 101 00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:12,520 to do with wine. We're still in the human body. In fact, weirdly, 102 00:06:12,520 --> 00:06:15,760 we're in exactly the same place as we were before with the mouth thing. 103 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:18,880 In the mouth? And, so, what it is, it's an emergency mouth-opener. 104 00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:21,560 So, say somebody had got lockjaw or there was some reason why they 105 00:06:21,560 --> 00:06:25,240 couldn't open their mouth, it is an emergency way of opening the mouth. 106 00:06:25,240 --> 00:06:28,960 Can I advise that you use it as that before you use it as a butt plug? 107 00:06:32,280 --> 00:06:33,920 Have you got number four there? Yes. 108 00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,600 OK. What do you think that might be? 109 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,040 Be very careful. I do not want you to hurt yourself. 110 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:41,800 I believe that is used for injuring panel show contestants. 111 00:06:43,600 --> 00:06:46,320 It's all the straps, it feels like it's something to do with a horse. 112 00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:48,720 - It is exactly something to do with a horse. - Thank God! 113 00:06:48,720 --> 00:06:51,400 - Yeah. It is an equine mouth-opener. - Oh. 114 00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:54,040 It is used by vets to hold the horse's mouth open. 115 00:06:54,040 --> 00:06:56,680 Sometimes their teeth need rasping, because they get a sort of 116 00:06:56,680 --> 00:06:59,200 sharp point with their teeth and it hurts them with the bit. 117 00:06:59,200 --> 00:07:01,760 And so you need to open their mouth and just file it down. 118 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,280 So, dental work for horses. 119 00:07:03,280 --> 00:07:06,760 Yeah, so it's quite a... It is quite a sharp... 120 00:07:08,840 --> 00:07:11,920 Let's try the next one. Any thoughts about that? 121 00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:16,160 It's a piercing for something. What shape is it going into? 122 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:18,680 Ah, well that's to put a hole into your bottom 123 00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:20,600 if you don't already have one. 124 00:07:20,600 --> 00:07:23,720 Do you know, it looks like a chipolata torturing device, 125 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:27,480 is what it looks like. Why would you want to torture a chipolata? 126 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:30,520 If you're, like, a militant vegan, or something, I don't know. 127 00:07:30,520 --> 00:07:33,520 Yeah, yeah. It isn't that. This looks quite kitcheny. 128 00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,240 It is kitcheny. Is it for an egg? 129 00:07:35,240 --> 00:07:37,560 No, it isn't. It is an oyster opener, an oyster shucker. 130 00:07:37,560 --> 00:07:40,160 So, rather than inserting a knife, where you can actually hurt 131 00:07:40,160 --> 00:07:42,560 yourself, you do it with one of those. The other thing to do 132 00:07:42,560 --> 00:07:44,920 is go to a nice restaurant, and somebody will do it for you, 133 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:46,160 which I think is even easier. 134 00:07:46,160 --> 00:07:49,880 On the food front, I have one of these which I... 135 00:07:49,880 --> 00:07:52,400 Oh, hello... it seems slightly pointless. Is it an egg? 136 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:55,680 It's an egg opener. Want to try it, anybody? 137 00:07:55,680 --> 00:07:57,680 No, I'm fine thank you. Come on, I'll have a go. 138 00:07:57,680 --> 00:07:59,480 OK, the boys will do this, there we go. 139 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:01,840 So you put it round the egg and squeeze it? Yeah. 140 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:04,320 Well, I think you have to squeeze and then twist it off, 141 00:08:04,320 --> 00:08:06,120 like a sort of beheading. OK. 142 00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:07,400 Is this going to be a trick egg? 143 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,120 No, darling, honestly, it's just boiled. 144 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:11,040 Give it a turn at the same time. 145 00:08:11,040 --> 00:08:12,080 There. 146 00:08:13,320 --> 00:08:16,440 Ah, that is good, it makes the egg look hideous. Yeah. 147 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:24,480 So, that closes openers. And now an odourless question. 148 00:08:24,480 --> 00:08:26,680 Where can you find the largest collection 149 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:28,200 of things that don't smell? 150 00:08:28,200 --> 00:08:30,240 ♪ ..pins. ♪ 151 00:08:30,240 --> 00:08:32,160 Matt? Is it in the sea? 152 00:08:32,160 --> 00:08:33,880 Oh, right. Why do you think that? 153 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,400 Because, I mean there's salt, 154 00:08:35,400 --> 00:08:39,160 but salt doesn't have a very strong smell. 155 00:08:39,160 --> 00:08:41,960 No. And neither do fish, famously. 156 00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,840 No. But I, what I am proposing... 157 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:48,200 Yes, yes? ..And I'm clever, is... 158 00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:50,880 ..is that once you are under the water... 159 00:08:50,880 --> 00:08:52,520 Right? ..You can't smell. 160 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:55,560 Have you tried to smell under the water, anybody? 161 00:08:55,560 --> 00:08:57,400 That doesn't mean it doesn't smell. 162 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:00,960 Well, if a tree falls in the forest... 163 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:07,080 ..and it doesn't smell... No. ..then... it... Yeah. 164 00:09:08,640 --> 00:09:12,280 We are in the town where I was born. Copenhagen? 165 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:14,560 Copenhagen, we're in wonderful, wonderful Copenhagen. 166 00:09:14,560 --> 00:09:17,200 What are the things that old statues might lose as they get 167 00:09:17,200 --> 00:09:19,960 transported about, or over the years? What might they lose? 168 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,440 Fingers. Private parts. 169 00:09:21,440 --> 00:09:23,800 OK, yes, I was going to, again, go higher, 170 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,200 but you've just gone with that side of the thing. 171 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,120 Noses, they lose their noses, 172 00:09:28,120 --> 00:09:31,840 and, so, there is THE most glorious art museum in Copenhagen, 173 00:09:31,840 --> 00:09:34,320 it's called the Ny Carlsberg Glyptotek 174 00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,360 and it contains a Nasothek. It is a collection of noses. 175 00:09:37,360 --> 00:09:39,480 In the 19th century, museums used to repair them, 176 00:09:39,480 --> 00:09:42,040 so there used to be a collection of noses used to repair statues. 177 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,160 This was a thing that we don't do any more 178 00:09:44,160 --> 00:09:46,960 because now we think we should leave the statue exactly as it is. 179 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:49,680 Have we got any photos from the penis museum? 180 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:52,160 Yes, is the truth of it. 181 00:09:52,160 --> 00:09:54,640 Lots of statues lost their penises - that is entirely true. 182 00:09:54,640 --> 00:09:57,920 Right. But that was on purpose, wasn't it? Due to prudery, yeah. 183 00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:00,440 Yeah, absolutely. So about 80% of the male nude statues 184 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:02,880 in the Vatican Gardens are missing their members. Oh, no, 185 00:10:02,880 --> 00:10:04,680 cos I just thought I was average. 186 00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:09,960 Are you saying they've been taken off? They've been taken off 187 00:10:09,960 --> 00:10:11,520 and they say there's a secret room 188 00:10:11,520 --> 00:10:13,920 in the Vatican that has all of them in it. 189 00:10:15,160 --> 00:10:18,320 If your statue has no nose, it might be found in a museum in Copenhagen. 190 00:10:18,320 --> 00:10:21,240 So, here's a collection of odd-sounding O words 191 00:10:21,240 --> 00:10:24,600 and I'd like you to pick one and use it in a sentence, please. 192 00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:26,520 A cum-spliff, what the f...? 193 00:10:30,880 --> 00:10:33,120 "Oh, ja, a cum-spliff." 194 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:39,000 "Ja, cum-spliff, ja." It doesn't take long, 195 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,520 it doesn't take long at all. "Oppenchops, cum-spliff." 196 00:10:42,520 --> 00:10:44,600 Are you doing, are you doing "oojah-cum-spliff?" 197 00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:46,600 Yeah... Is that your one? Doing a cum-spliff. 198 00:10:46,600 --> 00:10:50,200 What is your sentence, please, Alan? "Oh ja, a cum-spliff." 199 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:51,520 It's a... 200 00:10:52,560 --> 00:10:55,560 It's a Dutchman having a joint in a brothel. 201 00:10:59,480 --> 00:11:02,040 Cum-spliff? I don't want it, I don't want it. 202 00:11:04,440 --> 00:11:05,960 Get it away from me, man. 203 00:11:07,560 --> 00:11:10,200 You'd be no fun in a brothel, would you? 204 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,080 "Oh, look at Rom, he doesn't want the cum-spliff, what a prude!" 205 00:11:15,560 --> 00:11:18,200 Oojah-cum-spliff means all fine and dandy. Yeah, I bet it does. 206 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:23,000 Earliest use found in PG Wodehouse. I've got one. 207 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:27,240 Yeah, go on, then, Matt. Tottenham had their best season for years, 208 00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,720 they came first in the league... Ohnosecond. 209 00:11:29,720 --> 00:11:33,040 Oh, very good. OK. Ohnosecond. So it's sort of right, actually, 210 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:36,120 because in computing... Well, it is right, they didn't win 211 00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:39,840 anything at all. No, in... They've won nothing for years. 212 00:11:39,840 --> 00:11:42,280 They're rubbish. But actually, your definition for it 213 00:11:42,280 --> 00:11:44,520 is not too far off, because in computing what it is, 214 00:11:44,520 --> 00:11:47,040 it's the moment you realise you've made a mistake. 215 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:49,400 So it is a computing, you go, "Ohnosecond." 216 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:52,120 Oh, right. OK. I don't think yours was too far off. 217 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:55,920 Come on Liza, let's have one from you. I'm drawn to "obsolagnium." 218 00:11:55,920 --> 00:12:00,880 OK. It's not a good word, it's waning sexual desire due to age. 219 00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:04,840 And I was drawn to it. 220 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:09,000 You're surrounded by it at the moment. 221 00:12:10,280 --> 00:12:13,320 Oppenchops, Lancastrian slang for a gossip. 222 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:16,600 Octodesexcentenary. OK, that is probably the strangest, I think. 223 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:20,240 It's the 100th anniversary of when your octopus's penis fell off. 224 00:12:22,120 --> 00:12:24,280 It is... it is a really specific thing. 225 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:26,760 It's something that lasts 592 years. 226 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:30,040 It arose in connection with a particular calendar, the lunar solar 227 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:33,480 calendar, devised by a 17th-century mathematician called Thomas Lydiat. 228 00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:35,720 And he thought of the word? And he thought of the word. 229 00:12:35,720 --> 00:12:40,560 It is a very specific word for 592. I'd have loved him. 230 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,160 Not with your waning sexual desire. 231 00:12:44,360 --> 00:12:46,840 Now, brace, brace, brace! 232 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,160 I don't, I don't think that's funny. 233 00:12:59,080 --> 00:13:01,240 I don't think that's funny. That hit me on the nose. 234 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,480 That is awful. Well, we know where we can get another one. 235 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:06,920 Fortunately, we can get oxygen for you and a new nose, you're absolutely right, Liza. 236 00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:09,160 I'll take you to Copenhagen, we'll sort your nose out. 237 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,880 So, my question is, what's in the canister 238 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,720 on the other end of the pipe that you've got? 239 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:16,080 Oxygen? 240 00:13:16,080 --> 00:13:19,440 Oh, no. He said it. No, he said it. You said it. 241 00:13:19,440 --> 00:13:23,320 He said it. Don't put the blame on me. He said it, 100% he said it. 242 00:13:23,320 --> 00:13:26,440 No, it's a mix of chemicals that make oxygen. 243 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,840 It's something called an oxygen candle. 244 00:13:28,840 --> 00:13:32,200 So, there's a very fine white powder, and a spark is generated 245 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:36,520 and it sets off a chemical reaction which releases oxygen. 246 00:13:36,520 --> 00:13:39,280 But these canisters, there are oxides and they basically 247 00:13:39,280 --> 00:13:41,800 take up a whole lot less room than a whole tank of oxygen. 248 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:45,280 I think you both look absolutely fantastic! 249 00:13:45,280 --> 00:13:48,040 Typically, an oxygen candle will last 20 minutes. 250 00:13:48,040 --> 00:13:50,840 But it's enough time for the plane to get down to where you can 251 00:13:50,840 --> 00:13:52,360 breathe the air. 252 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:55,320 Right, let's give a really hard pull on the pipe and it will... 253 00:13:55,320 --> 00:13:56,760 We can get rid of it, there we go. 254 00:13:56,760 --> 00:13:59,440 Wonderful. Now, from planes to trains. 255 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:03,480 On which train did the Murder On The Orient Express take place? 256 00:14:03,480 --> 00:14:04,800 The Orient Express. 257 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:10,160 You're a good sport, Alan. You're a very good sport. Thank you so much. 258 00:14:10,160 --> 00:14:12,720 Well, sometimes, you know, they go, yes, that's correct. 259 00:14:12,720 --> 00:14:15,040 "Yes, that is correct." But never when I say it. No. 260 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,920 The murder took place on AN Orient Express, 261 00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,040 but not the one that you are thinking of. So... 262 00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:23,080 Well, no, we're thinking of the one that the murder took place on. 263 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:24,600 Yeah, exactly, that's right. 264 00:14:25,720 --> 00:14:28,480 I'm sorry, I didn't know you lived inside my brain. 265 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:31,960 Well, there were several train services in the 1930s which 266 00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,320 included the words "Orient Express" in the name. And... 267 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,200 Yeah, and those are the ones we were thinking of. 268 00:14:37,200 --> 00:14:38,520 Well, what is the full name 269 00:14:38,520 --> 00:14:40,720 of the one where the murder took place, then? 270 00:14:40,720 --> 00:14:43,080 We were thinking of the one where it took place. 271 00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:45,360 We don't have to say the name of it. 272 00:14:46,800 --> 00:14:49,920 We just... All of us demand the points. 273 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:54,080 Sorry. There were lots of different Orient Expresses. 274 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,840 Agatha Christie's took place on the Simplon... 275 00:14:56,840 --> 00:15:00,840 Simplon Orient Express, yes. Yes. 276 00:15:00,840 --> 00:15:04,960 Yes. Named after? It's Peter Express. Mr Simplon. I don't know. 277 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:09,200 The Simplon Orient Express, named after the Alpine tunnel, 278 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:11,880 and that linked Calais and Paris and Istanbul every day. 279 00:15:11,880 --> 00:15:13,480 There is a different train service, 280 00:15:13,480 --> 00:15:15,440 commonly known as THE Orient Express, 281 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:19,240 and that only carried Paris/Istanbul cars three times a week. 282 00:15:19,240 --> 00:15:21,600 I didn't even know that one existed. Have you been on it? 283 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,600 No. Oh, it's the most marvellous experience. 284 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:25,240 It's absolutely fantastic. Is it? 285 00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:28,080 Yeah, it really is worth it. It's eye-wateringly expensive, 286 00:15:28,080 --> 00:15:30,760 but you get a butler of your own. And I took my mother, it was 287 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:33,320 for her birthday, and the butler came along and he said, 288 00:15:33,320 --> 00:15:36,360 "Good evening, madam, my name is Tybalt," and you just think, wow, 289 00:15:36,360 --> 00:15:39,160 it's... The guy from Romeo and Juliet is going to service me. 290 00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:44,880 Was there Wi-Fi or 3G on the Orient Express? 291 00:15:44,880 --> 00:15:47,840 Because that for me is generally the... No. 292 00:15:47,840 --> 00:15:49,200 That's what they meant, 293 00:15:49,200 --> 00:15:52,240 there's no Wi-Fi, it is murder on the Orient Express. 294 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:56,080 Here's a list of organs. 295 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:59,400 You all own one of them, but which is it? 296 00:15:59,400 --> 00:16:02,840 Well, I would have thought a sperm stomach... Yes? 297 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,080 ..would have been for a whale. 298 00:16:05,080 --> 00:16:07,520 Oh, OK. It is for an animal. 299 00:16:07,520 --> 00:16:10,600 It is, strictly speaking, called a bursa copulatrix. 300 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,880 It's not for a whale. Where might you find such a thing? 301 00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:15,600 It's tiny, a tiny little, tiny. 302 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:19,360 So it's a bird? No. Then why were you doing that? 303 00:16:19,360 --> 00:16:20,480 No, but it is... Oh. 304 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,320 But, no, in fairness, it is clearly an animal that flies... 305 00:16:23,320 --> 00:16:26,000 A butterfly. Yes. No, he got it. Butterfly. Butterfly. 306 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:29,120 It is a butterfly. Oh. Sandi did a mime that, what else could it be? 307 00:16:29,120 --> 00:16:31,360 It's the reproductive system for the butterfly, 308 00:16:31,360 --> 00:16:35,760 and it digests nutrients from the male's sperm package. 309 00:16:35,760 --> 00:16:38,600 All female butterflies will have a sperm stomach. 310 00:16:38,600 --> 00:16:40,800 Right, let's try some more. Let's see. 311 00:16:40,800 --> 00:16:42,680 So we're looking for the organ that we have. 312 00:16:42,680 --> 00:16:44,400 We do not have a sperm stomach. 313 00:16:44,400 --> 00:16:46,400 Have you got a smart vagina? 314 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,440 I... It's terribly tidy. Um... 315 00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:52,920 I have a woman in twice a week. 316 00:17:03,280 --> 00:17:07,760 No, I do not, but some animals do. Grevy's zebra, for example. 317 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:10,800 And they can co-ordinate the muscular contractions in order 318 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:15,240 to flush out semen if a male fails to live up to expectations. 319 00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,840 And here's the depressing thing for the boy - the sperm dumping 320 00:17:19,840 --> 00:17:25,400 can happen even before the underperforming male has dismounted. 321 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:28,040 She just goes, "Boof, not having it. No." 322 00:17:29,640 --> 00:17:32,800 So, genetically, she knows that this guy isn't the best she could do? 323 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,120 That's exactly right, she has decided. So, regarding 324 00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,640 babies and stuff. Yeah, he's not the best gene pool. Yeah. 325 00:17:37,640 --> 00:17:40,240 Better to do that than shake him off. 326 00:17:40,240 --> 00:17:42,960 You don't want to cause trouble, do you? Don't want to make a scene. 327 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:45,320 No. You might then put off the other zebras. They'll think, 328 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:48,000 "Well, she looks tricky. She's just thrown him over a fence." Yes. 329 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,200 "I'll tell you what, mate, I wouldn't bother with her," 330 00:17:50,200 --> 00:17:52,360 "she's got one of them new-fangled smart vaginas." 331 00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:58,320 So, that's probably got Wi-Fi too, hasn't it? Yeah, I would say. 332 00:18:00,520 --> 00:18:02,640 So, we're still looking for the thing that we have. 333 00:18:02,640 --> 00:18:05,040 We don't have a sperm stomach, we don't have a smart vagina. 334 00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:08,160 What might we have? One of those. Have we got a mesentery? 335 00:18:08,160 --> 00:18:09,680 A mesentery? We absolutely do, 336 00:18:09,680 --> 00:18:14,760 that is the very thing that we were looking for. We do have a mesentery. 337 00:18:14,760 --> 00:18:17,160 And it, basically, it's a fairly recent thing, 338 00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:19,320 it connects the intestine to the stomach, 339 00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:21,960 and we did not know that it was actually an organ in its own right. 340 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,480 So there's a chap called Professor J Calvin Coffey, 341 00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:26,200 from the University of Limerick. 342 00:18:26,200 --> 00:18:29,960 And he says, "Without it, you can't live. There are no reported" 343 00:18:29,960 --> 00:18:33,920 "incidents of a Homo sapiens living without a mesentery." 344 00:18:33,920 --> 00:18:37,080 And nobody entirely knows what it does. 345 00:18:37,080 --> 00:18:39,240 "We've established anatomy and structure" 346 00:18:39,240 --> 00:18:40,840 "and the next step is function." 347 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,680 Let's have a quick look at the other ones. Paddywhack, anybody? 348 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,320 Well, it makes me think of a dog chew. 349 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:49,040 That is exactly right. Give the dog a bone, right. Yeah. 350 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:51,800 Yeah. So dried paddywhack is sometimes sold as a dog treat, 351 00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:53,960 which is where we get the saying from. 352 00:18:53,960 --> 00:18:55,800 Is it something from a pig, then? 353 00:18:55,800 --> 00:18:59,360 It's the load-bearing ligament in the neck of sheep or cattle. 354 00:18:59,360 --> 00:19:01,080 It connects the head to the spine. 355 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:04,560 And the other one, mental glands, it's a pheromone delivery system 356 00:19:04,560 --> 00:19:07,240 found in the male salamander's chin. 357 00:19:07,240 --> 00:19:10,520 As part of the courtship, the male sprays his scent 358 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,400 right into the female's nostrils 359 00:19:12,400 --> 00:19:15,720 and then he deposits a pack of sperm on the ground. 360 00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:18,680 And if the female detects his scent with her mental glands, 361 00:19:18,680 --> 00:19:21,840 and she wants to mate, then she'll pick it up. So she picks it up. 362 00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:24,640 Oh, that's nice. Yes, it's rather sweet. That's like a sort of. 363 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:28,960 Edwardian courtship, isn't it? Yes. Yes. "Madam, my sperm." Yes. 364 00:19:30,600 --> 00:19:33,240 Now, what animals begin with O 365 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:36,880 and are rescued more often by the Fire Brigade than cats? 366 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:38,720 ♪ ..pins. ♪ Yes, Matt? 367 00:19:38,720 --> 00:19:41,560 Is it ostriches, because they keep burying their... 368 00:19:42,880 --> 00:19:46,120 ..burying their heads... Burying their heads in the sand. 369 00:19:46,120 --> 00:19:48,000 And they... So, two things are wrong with that. 370 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,680 Right. One is they don't bury their heads in the sand, that is a... 371 00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:53,760 Well, I... I... I am not wrong. No. 372 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:58,800 Yes? I think it is an opossum. 373 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:00,520 Oh! 374 00:20:02,480 --> 00:20:05,400 The audience said owls, did we hear them? Owls, did we have owls? 375 00:20:06,600 --> 00:20:08,360 You lose points! 376 00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:11,280 Is it, is it ocelot? 377 00:20:11,280 --> 00:20:12,840 No. 378 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:16,720 Is it the... Is it... let's try this one on them. Yeah. 379 00:20:16,720 --> 00:20:20,840 Is it the four-legged onion? Ah-ha! You didn't get in there, did you? 380 00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:22,360 Ah-ha! 381 00:20:22,360 --> 00:20:24,600 No, it is not the four-legged onion. Right, OK. 382 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:26,720 It's a human animal, it's an obese person. Oh! 383 00:20:26,720 --> 00:20:29,240 They now rescue... Oh, an obese person. 384 00:20:29,240 --> 00:20:31,840 Yeah. But they're still, hold on, they are still people. 385 00:20:31,840 --> 00:20:35,040 Once they get to a certain weight, they're no longer human, 386 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:37,200 as far as we're concerned. 387 00:20:37,200 --> 00:20:39,360 But we're all part of the animal kingdom. 388 00:20:39,360 --> 00:20:43,320 There were more than 900 such cases from January to September in 2016. 389 00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:45,680 Up from around 30 cases ten years ago. 390 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:48,240 Well done for getting up the trees, though. 391 00:20:51,240 --> 00:20:55,160 No, it's people not being able to leave their home. Suddenly you go, 392 00:20:55,160 --> 00:20:58,280 "There's one." I just saw there were loads of apples. 393 00:20:58,280 --> 00:20:59,640 "There's one." 394 00:20:59,640 --> 00:21:01,960 "How did you get up there?" 395 00:21:03,960 --> 00:21:05,720 "Trampoline, it was a trampoline." 396 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:09,040 "But they've moved it now." 397 00:21:09,040 --> 00:21:12,680 "Now it looks like a miracle, but it was a trampolining incident." 398 00:21:14,080 --> 00:21:16,440 I think the most famous, possibly, an American man called 399 00:21:16,440 --> 00:21:19,240 Walter Hudson, he was rescued by the American Fire Department, 400 00:21:19,240 --> 00:21:22,560 1987, after he got wedged in his bathroom door. 401 00:21:22,560 --> 00:21:27,040 It is estimated that he weighed 1,400lbs, but it's only 402 00:21:27,040 --> 00:21:30,760 an estimate because the industrial scale that he was being weighed on 403 00:21:30,760 --> 00:21:33,680 broke after a 1,000lbs so we don't know exactly. 404 00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:37,840 Wait a minute, that's 100st. Yes. Yes. 1,400lbs. 405 00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,640 Oh, that, yeah, that's 100st, yeah. It's 100st, yeah. 406 00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:44,120 He held the Guinness World Record for the world's largest waist. 407 00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:47,080 If you hold that end and you hold that. 408 00:21:47,080 --> 00:21:49,240 That would have been the size of his belt. 409 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,840 I've got a description of his average daily diet. 410 00:21:51,840 --> 00:21:54,920 Two boxes of sausages, 1lb of bacon, 12 eggs, 411 00:21:54,920 --> 00:21:57,520 a loaf of bread, four hamburgers, four double cheeseburgers, 412 00:21:57,520 --> 00:22:00,280 five large portions of fries, three ham steaks or two chickens. 413 00:22:00,280 --> 00:22:02,320 Four baked potatoes, four sweet potatoes, 414 00:22:02,320 --> 00:22:05,080 most of a large cake and additional snacks. 415 00:22:06,360 --> 00:22:09,760 And an average of 6.5 litres of soda every single day. 416 00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:12,080 Well, at least he didn't finish the cake. 417 00:22:13,680 --> 00:22:16,240 It's good to look on the bright side of things. Yeah. 418 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:19,080 Now we crash through the floorboards and land in the mess of plaster 419 00:22:19,080 --> 00:22:20,960 and insulation that is General Ignorance. 420 00:22:20,960 --> 00:22:22,600 Fingers on buzzers, please. 421 00:22:22,600 --> 00:22:25,920 Where are your fattest fat cells? 422 00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:30,280 Well, I suppose you want us to say on your stomach? 423 00:22:30,280 --> 00:22:32,880 Yes, and you'd be right. Yes, of course. 424 00:22:35,240 --> 00:22:39,040 See? So you're absolutely right. 425 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:43,080 As people get obese, what happens is the fat cells in our midriff, 426 00:22:43,080 --> 00:22:46,040 they don't proliferate, they just get fatter. 427 00:22:46,040 --> 00:22:49,160 So, the fat cells in our thighs can multiply, 428 00:22:49,160 --> 00:22:51,960 but the ones that we have round our midriff, they just get fatter. 429 00:22:51,960 --> 00:22:54,480 Now, you don't really want to have belly fat, because what we now 430 00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,840 know about it is that it's actually biologically active, belly fat. 431 00:22:57,840 --> 00:23:00,080 It is releasing hormones into your system, 432 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:02,880 and that could increase your risk of heart disease and so on. 433 00:23:02,880 --> 00:23:04,720 So you don't want to get more of them, 434 00:23:04,720 --> 00:23:06,880 because they're incredibly bad for you. 435 00:23:06,880 --> 00:23:09,960 So, they did a study, the NHS, 91% of mothers 436 00:23:09,960 --> 00:23:12,040 and 80% of fathers of overweight children 437 00:23:12,040 --> 00:23:14,600 mistakenly think that their children are a healthy weight. 438 00:23:14,600 --> 00:23:17,000 Well, I'm the exception, because all my mum does is say, 439 00:23:17,000 --> 00:23:19,840 "Well, you need to shift some of that." She says it to me a lot. 440 00:23:19,840 --> 00:23:22,960 Does she? And then she just keeps trying to make me eat more food. 441 00:23:24,200 --> 00:23:27,120 My mum used to give me so much food when I was going to school, 442 00:23:27,120 --> 00:23:29,840 like she'd give me, like, jam sandwiches, not for lunch, 443 00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:31,760 for break time, right. Right. 444 00:23:31,760 --> 00:23:36,160 And the school became concerned, and phoned my mum and said, 445 00:23:36,160 --> 00:23:38,720 "Look, we're a bit worried about it." And you know what she did? 446 00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:41,280 She told me to hide when I was eating my jam sandwiches. 447 00:23:45,560 --> 00:23:48,160 That's good parenting. Yeah. That is really good parenting. 448 00:23:49,720 --> 00:23:52,040 From the fattest to the flattest. 449 00:23:52,040 --> 00:23:55,160 What's the most featureless place on earth? 450 00:23:55,160 --> 00:23:58,040 Well, hmm. So where were you when you talked about things 451 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:01,000 that don't smell? Where did you go when you talked about... 452 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,240 ♪ Under the sea. ♪ So, that is where we're going to go, 453 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:04,640 we're going to go under the sea. 454 00:24:04,640 --> 00:24:09,000 It is something called the Abyssal Plains. And it's undersea areas 455 00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,520 of sediment, and their slopes can be really shallow, 456 00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,800 I mean unbelievably shallow, like one foot per thousand. 457 00:24:13,800 --> 00:24:15,880 And what happens is the sediments wash off the land, 458 00:24:15,880 --> 00:24:20,360 and over time they spread out to form a smooth and level surface. 459 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:22,720 And it's home to the world's deepest fish that you get 460 00:24:22,720 --> 00:24:24,080 right down at the bottom there. 461 00:24:24,080 --> 00:24:25,920 Are those the really freaky...? Oh, yeah. 462 00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:28,360 Oh, yeah. Now you're talking. Yeah. Oh, mate. 463 00:24:28,360 --> 00:24:30,400 I mean these are angler fish you can see there. 464 00:24:30,400 --> 00:24:32,800 I think they are astonishing. God, that one in the middle 465 00:24:32,800 --> 00:24:35,040 just looking through your window. And we're there. 466 00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:36,960 And they're really deep, so you can really, 467 00:24:36,960 --> 00:24:38,960 like, talk to them about, like, real issues. 468 00:24:40,280 --> 00:24:43,840 Have a quick look at this, which is my favourite fact about the Pacific. 469 00:24:43,840 --> 00:24:46,520 So I've got my globe here, 470 00:24:46,520 --> 00:24:50,080 so you can see how large the Pacific is, it covers this enormous area. 471 00:24:50,080 --> 00:24:52,080 There is a point in the Pacific where, 472 00:24:52,080 --> 00:24:54,400 if you drilled down through the centre of the earth, 473 00:24:54,400 --> 00:24:58,000 so that is off the coast of Vietnam near Hai Phong, and you came back 474 00:24:58,000 --> 00:25:02,520 out exactly on the other side, you would still arrive in the Pacific, 475 00:25:02,520 --> 00:25:05,440 you'd be off the coast of South America at the Chile/Peru border. 476 00:25:05,440 --> 00:25:07,880 That just gives you some idea, that is exactly halfway, 477 00:25:07,880 --> 00:25:10,320 right through the whole planet, that the Pacific is that big. 478 00:25:10,320 --> 00:25:12,400 Oh, I love it. I love it when a fact is pointed out to you 479 00:25:12,400 --> 00:25:14,440 and you don't have to have this whole mass of stuff. 480 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:17,120 But this is rather fine, isn't it? Yeah. Rather an astonishing one. 481 00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:19,360 Well, no, I don't think it is, I think you're going to get 482 00:25:19,360 --> 00:25:22,080 very little for that on eBay, because you've completely ruined it. 483 00:25:23,120 --> 00:25:26,000 The most featureless place on earth is underwater. 484 00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:29,360 Who invented this and what does it say? 485 00:25:35,480 --> 00:25:38,200 I'm going to have to say Morse, aren't I? 486 00:25:38,200 --> 00:25:40,640 Yeah, you are going to have to say Morse, I think. 487 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:41,720 Get it out of the way. 488 00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:44,480 It's probably the most famous Morse code signal ever sent. 489 00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,600 SOS? Is it three dots and three dashes? 490 00:25:47,600 --> 00:25:50,000 No. It's CQD that is being sent, 491 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:53,120 it's the Marconi distress message that was sent from the Titanic. 492 00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:55,240 People now say it means "Come quick drowning," 493 00:25:55,240 --> 00:25:56,960 but that's what you call a backronym. 494 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:58,840 In fact, CQ was for the French "securite" 495 00:25:58,840 --> 00:26:01,480 and then Marconi added the D for Distress. 496 00:26:01,480 --> 00:26:04,560 And so, "We have a distressing security issue." 497 00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:09,320 But the issue about Morse code is that it isn't really a code 498 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:12,280 and that Morse didn't really invent it. It involved transmitting 499 00:26:12,280 --> 00:26:15,400 numbers, Morse code, which you, then looked up in a special dictionary 500 00:26:15,400 --> 00:26:17,000 to see what word they represented. 501 00:26:17,000 --> 00:26:20,040 And it was Morse's colleague, this man here, Alfred Vail, 502 00:26:20,040 --> 00:26:21,560 who came up with the idea of using 503 00:26:21,560 --> 00:26:23,920 letters and assigning dots and dashes to each one. 504 00:26:23,920 --> 00:26:26,320 So, probably Morse code should be called Vail's code. 505 00:26:26,320 --> 00:26:28,640 But, actually, it should be Vail's cipher. 506 00:26:28,640 --> 00:26:31,760 So, we had a letter from a QI viewer, Phil Boyd, 507 00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:35,080 and he pointed out that a code replaces whole words with symbols 508 00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:38,000 and a cipher replaces individual letters. 509 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:42,240 So, strictly speaking, Morse code ought to be called Vail's cipher. 510 00:26:42,240 --> 00:26:47,640 Anyway, moving on, how many moons did the Earth have? 511 00:26:53,680 --> 00:26:57,280 So, we've covered how many moons Earth has many times on QI. 512 00:26:57,280 --> 00:26:58,720 We're looking at the past here. 513 00:26:58,720 --> 00:26:59,920 Ten. 514 00:27:03,760 --> 00:27:06,400 Yes? None. 515 00:27:10,480 --> 00:27:14,120 There is new research which suggests that our current moon is 516 00:27:14,120 --> 00:27:16,520 the result of about 20 separate moons that have 517 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,920 coalesced into one over millions of years. 518 00:27:18,920 --> 00:27:22,000 So, since the moon and the Earth are made of rather similar materials, 519 00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,040 it is thought that the moon formed 520 00:27:24,040 --> 00:27:27,080 when an object hit the Earth and it sent debris up into space. 521 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:29,440 And they've run thousands of simulations 522 00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:32,320 and they concluded there were lots of moons, at least 20, 523 00:27:32,320 --> 00:27:35,280 each one formed from a different collision. 524 00:27:35,280 --> 00:27:37,640 So it is possible that we originally had 20 moons. 525 00:27:37,640 --> 00:27:40,000 So, where have all the moons gone, then? 526 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:42,760 They've coalesced into one, so... Oh, they're all one big moon. 527 00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:44,360 They've been drawn together, yeah. 528 00:27:44,360 --> 00:27:48,720 The Earth had 20 moons, but now has only approximately one. 529 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,160 All of which shines a silvery light on to the darkness 530 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:55,000 which is the scores. Oh, this is tragic. 531 00:27:56,680 --> 00:27:59,280 In last place, with -52, Alan. 532 00:27:59,280 --> 00:28:00,800 Thank you so much. 533 00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:09,520 Also a quite phenomenal -36, Liza. Hey! Get in! 534 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:12,960 And -29, Romesh! 535 00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:20,000 You've done it Matt, you've done it, with a magnificent -7, 536 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:21,600 you are the winner. Hurrah! 537 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:31,320 So, Matt takes home our objectionable object of the week, 538 00:28:31,320 --> 00:28:34,200 and it's this weird device for holding a horse's mouth open 539 00:28:34,200 --> 00:28:35,560 while you fix its teeth. 540 00:28:35,560 --> 00:28:37,960 There you are Matt, that's for you. Wow, it's heavy. 541 00:28:37,960 --> 00:28:41,200 Wow, thanks very much. You're most welcome. Wow, thank you. 542 00:28:41,200 --> 00:28:45,600 It only remains for me to thank Liza, Matt, Romesh and Alan. 543 00:28:45,600 --> 00:28:47,440 And I leave you with this, 544 00:28:47,440 --> 00:28:51,200 from a Randy Scandi Norwegian Nobel Prize winner, Knut Hamsun. 545 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:54,240 When returning from his first trip to Paris, a friend asked, 546 00:28:54,240 --> 00:28:57,200 "At the beginning, didn't you have trouble with your French? 547 00:28:57,200 --> 00:28:59,360 "No," replied Hamsun, "but the French did." 548 00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:01,280 Merci bien, et bonne nuit.