1 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:36,560 Hello and welcome to QI. 2 00:00:36,560 --> 00:00:39,480 Tonight's show is an other-worldly odyssey 3 00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:41,680 through the mysterious occult. 4 00:00:41,680 --> 00:00:45,520 Please offer up oblations to the Prince of Darkness - Russell Brand. 5 00:00:49,520 --> 00:00:52,720 The Beast of Revelations, Aisling Bea. 6 00:00:56,960 --> 00:00:59,120 The Lord of the Flies, Noel Fielding. 7 00:01:04,280 --> 00:01:05,880 And, hell, yes, it's Alan Davies! 8 00:01:09,160 --> 00:01:10,800 Hey-hey! 9 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:17,640 That was a terrifying outfit. 10 00:01:17,640 --> 00:01:21,240 I was really hoping there'd be a new car under there, but it's just Alan. 11 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:24,600 And their buzzers are obligingly ominous. Russell goes... 12 00:01:29,960 --> 00:01:31,920 Aisling goes... 13 00:01:34,680 --> 00:01:36,800 And Noel goes... 14 00:01:39,880 --> 00:01:42,240 And Alan goes... 15 00:01:55,480 --> 00:01:59,000 Hey, right. We're going to begin with some mind-reading, 16 00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:02,200 but those of you who are psychic will already know that. 17 00:02:02,200 --> 00:02:04,960 We have asked some members of our front row to write some 18 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:09,400 words on cards and put them in an envelope, which I have not seen. 19 00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:13,120 So if the QI minion, this is our magic minion, 20 00:02:13,120 --> 00:02:15,160 can please collect them. 21 00:02:15,160 --> 00:02:19,360 Then we are going to attempt some spooky mind-reading. 22 00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:21,000 And what are they? Just facts, or? 23 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:23,240 It's just a word, a single word, is that right? 24 00:02:23,240 --> 00:02:24,840 Each one's written a single word. 25 00:02:24,840 --> 00:02:27,000 So the minion is going to give me the cards. 26 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,600 Do you believe in this kind of thing? 27 00:02:28,600 --> 00:02:31,440 Do you believe in mind-reading? Yes. 28 00:02:31,440 --> 00:02:33,560 OK. 29 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:36,880 So in order for this to work, I need to make my mind a complete blank. 30 00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:38,240 Alan, how do I do that? 31 00:02:39,920 --> 00:02:42,200 Oh-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! 32 00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:44,120 Now, some of you may know I have an ear piece, 33 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,600 I don't want you to think that in any way that anybody can 34 00:02:46,600 --> 00:02:48,280 communicate with me, so I can't use that. 35 00:02:48,280 --> 00:02:51,400 What's going to happen now is that I am going to place the card 36 00:02:51,400 --> 00:02:54,200 to my head, and I need to concentrate. 37 00:02:54,200 --> 00:02:58,000 I am going to say potato. Who said potato? 38 00:02:58,000 --> 00:03:00,320 Anybody say? You did say potato? Did you? OK. 39 00:03:00,320 --> 00:03:03,000 Very, very good. Indeed. 40 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,440 OK, let's do the next one. 41 00:03:05,440 --> 00:03:09,280 Let's see. Oh, this one's difficult. 42 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:11,320 This one is very difficult. 43 00:03:11,320 --> 00:03:15,720 I am going to say sin, something to do with sin... 44 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:17,680 synchronicity? 45 00:03:17,680 --> 00:03:19,840 It is, synchronicity is your word? 46 00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:21,640 She's a witch, burn her! 47 00:03:22,840 --> 00:03:25,040 Goodness. Oh, indeed, OK. 48 00:03:26,840 --> 00:03:29,560 So, we'll just do one more and see if I can think. 49 00:03:29,560 --> 00:03:32,120 Oh, this one's nice - mushroom. I think it's mushroom. 50 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,840 Yes. Absolutely. Well, there we go, that will do. 51 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,480 See I love those tricks, I think they are fantastic, 52 00:03:41,480 --> 00:03:43,760 I mean, clearly they are a trick. And... What?! 53 00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:47,120 Of genius, a trick of genius, in some way. 54 00:03:47,120 --> 00:03:49,040 Are you a fan of magic shows, Russell? 55 00:03:49,040 --> 00:03:50,920 I'm astounded that we're all just sat here 56 00:03:50,920 --> 00:03:54,480 while you have unravelled one of the great mysteries of the universe. 57 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,840 Now we're going to have to work out through which necromancy 58 00:03:57,840 --> 00:03:59,960 you have taken over Bake-Off. 59 00:04:03,080 --> 00:04:05,160 You've managed to install Noel Fielding, 60 00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:08,560 an astonishing piece of casting. What's next? 61 00:04:08,560 --> 00:04:11,360 I am channelling Mrs Beaton, that's what's happening. 62 00:04:11,360 --> 00:04:14,280 You have powers beyond my comprehension. I know, I know. 63 00:04:14,280 --> 00:04:17,240 So what I'm going to do, I'm going to take a blank card like this 64 00:04:17,240 --> 00:04:19,560 and I'm going to write a word myself on it, 65 00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:21,880 and I'm going to stick it in an envelope. 66 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:25,320 And then we will place that in this big book, 67 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:27,480 so that it's not possible for me to change it. 68 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,200 Russell can see it from where you are, 69 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:31,080 I saw your eyes looking, it's cheating. 70 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:34,000 Yeah, but I would never use that knowledge to trick the QI audience. 71 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,920 OK, let's put it on there, let's put it on there 72 00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:38,280 so that I can't cheat with it, you can all see it, it's in, 73 00:04:38,280 --> 00:04:40,480 there it is, it's in plain sight, OK. 74 00:04:40,480 --> 00:04:43,880 So, there used to be a thought that some people could read 75 00:04:43,880 --> 00:04:46,080 through something other than their eyes. 76 00:04:46,080 --> 00:04:50,200 It's called dermo-optical perception, or cutaneous perception. 77 00:04:50,200 --> 00:04:52,280 And the idea is, so I put it against my head 78 00:04:52,280 --> 00:04:55,640 so that you could read through your fingers or you could read through your skin. 79 00:04:55,640 --> 00:04:58,680 But in fact our mind-reading was done by a completely different trick. 80 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:01,400 There was a mentalist who used to be known as Alexander - 81 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:02,440 The Man Who Knows. 82 00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:04,560 I've got that very poster. Have you? Yeah. 83 00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:07,560 Do you know who he actually is, Alexander The Man Who Knows? 84 00:05:07,560 --> 00:05:09,960 He was called Alexander. 85 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:12,480 And he worked as a psychic. 86 00:05:12,480 --> 00:05:15,720 His real name was Claude Conlin and he was from South Dakota. 87 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,320 But he was quite a guy, Alexander. 88 00:05:17,320 --> 00:05:19,520 He married 8 to 14 women, many at the same time. 89 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:22,160 We don't know exactly how many, maybe 14 women. 90 00:05:22,160 --> 00:05:23,960 14 women? Yeah, it's quite a lot. 91 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,000 That's not that many, is it, Russell? 92 00:05:28,080 --> 00:05:29,760 You are a conservative mind-bender. 93 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,400 I can't tell you how he read the mind of our front row, 94 00:05:34,400 --> 00:05:37,600 but I can say that we have a plant in the audience. 95 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:40,400 Yeah. 96 00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:43,200 OK, so I've got an object here for you. 97 00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:45,680 There's one for you guys to share. Thank you very much. 98 00:05:45,680 --> 00:05:47,200 And one for you to share. 99 00:05:47,200 --> 00:05:51,120 And I want you to tell me how you would use it to burgle a house. 100 00:05:51,120 --> 00:05:53,960 OK, so... I have an idea. Yes, go on, then. 101 00:05:53,960 --> 00:05:57,120 Well, I think what you'd do is, you would melt the waxen tips, 102 00:05:57,120 --> 00:05:58,800 there are waxen tips. There are. 103 00:05:58,800 --> 00:06:01,400 You would get the finger prints of the person whose house it 104 00:06:01,400 --> 00:06:04,400 was on their hi-tech James Bond style fingerprint system. 105 00:06:04,400 --> 00:06:06,520 Yeah. I don't know how you get in that bit, 106 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:08,600 cos if you've got that kind of access to the person, 107 00:06:08,600 --> 00:06:13,520 simply charm them into allowing you in to rob the safe at your leisure. 108 00:06:13,520 --> 00:06:15,920 And then you put their fingerprints on there, 109 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:19,680 then you put this very discreet garment on your other hand 110 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:23,440 and wander into Canary Wharf, or wherever it is, and say - 111 00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,760 "I'm just one of the people who happens to live here." 112 00:06:25,760 --> 00:06:28,000 "Don't judge me by that. I move among you." 113 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,920 "I love you. I'm a banker, just like you." 114 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:32,120 Then you press all the buttons, you're in there 115 00:06:32,120 --> 00:06:34,560 and that's how you rob their house. And that's that sorted. 116 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,920 Simple business. Yeah. I don't know why we didn't think of that. 117 00:06:41,160 --> 00:06:43,640 It's gone rogue. 118 00:06:43,640 --> 00:06:47,960 I think you could only rob a house if Freddy Krueger lived there. 119 00:06:47,960 --> 00:06:51,040 Just put your hand through the letterbox and the dog lets you in. 120 00:06:51,040 --> 00:06:52,240 We wanted to set fire to them, 121 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,400 but apparently it's a health and safety nightmare. 122 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,600 There's a fire there though. 123 00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:58,040 Why is fire allowed there and not near Noel? 124 00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:00,400 Now I understand. 125 00:07:00,400 --> 00:07:04,400 Who wants me to try? 126 00:07:04,400 --> 00:07:07,360 OK. Don't put it near your hair product, will you. 127 00:07:07,360 --> 00:07:10,320 Are you left or right handed? Well, the glove is left handed. 128 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,080 Yeah, but... 129 00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:23,320 OK. So hang on, is that it? There we go. 130 00:07:23,320 --> 00:07:26,000 Light the others. I used to do this with... 131 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,320 So, in answer to your question, Sandi, 132 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,840 while they are doing that, I go and burgle the house. 133 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:32,360 Yes. Is that what it is? 134 00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,880 Hi, nice to meet you. Happy birthday to you. 135 00:07:38,880 --> 00:07:40,680 Really rubbish pitch singing. 136 00:07:47,200 --> 00:07:50,400 Is it the flame that's significant? Kind of. Or the rubber? 137 00:07:50,400 --> 00:07:53,040 So, you needed the pickled hand of a hanged man, OK? 138 00:07:53,040 --> 00:07:55,600 Oh, wow. You then needed to make 139 00:07:55,600 --> 00:07:58,800 a candle from the fat of the condemned man. 140 00:07:58,800 --> 00:08:03,280 Ugh. And then, in an idea world, you would make the wick out of his hair. 141 00:08:03,280 --> 00:08:04,760 It's called a Hand of Glory. 142 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:06,800 If you were holding the Hand of Glory, 143 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:08,320 and the Hand of Glory had a... 144 00:08:10,120 --> 00:08:14,120 That's not the Hand of Glory, Sandi. That's the Hand of Glory. 145 00:08:16,960 --> 00:08:19,480 It was a race. 146 00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:21,880 It's sweet when boys are so pleased with themselves. 147 00:08:23,880 --> 00:08:26,520 It's a good job this desk is here. 148 00:08:27,480 --> 00:08:29,480 No, you're all right. Um... 149 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:32,960 So the idea was - if you held one of these 150 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,280 when you went into somebody's house, it would have a 151 00:08:35,280 --> 00:08:37,880 stupefying effect upon them, and put them to sleep. 152 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:41,480 Now, the only photograph that we have of a genuine Hand of Glory is 153 00:08:41,480 --> 00:08:43,120 courtesy of the Whitby Museum, 154 00:08:43,120 --> 00:08:46,560 and that is probably the only one still in existence, and that was... 155 00:08:46,560 --> 00:08:49,040 It's quite a wild pitch like for Dragons' Den, to go - 156 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,280 "I've got this idea, all we need is one hand" 157 00:08:51,280 --> 00:08:53,280 "of a hanged man, we stick his hair in there," 158 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:55,920 "make a candle out of his skin, the hair is going to be the wick." 159 00:08:55,920 --> 00:08:57,800 "That's important. When we go into the house," 160 00:08:57,800 --> 00:08:59,600 "it'll automatically send people to sleep" 161 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,560 "and that's how we're going to burgle the house." 162 00:09:01,560 --> 00:09:04,320 "I'm in, ã250,000. I see nothing wrong with this idea." 163 00:09:04,320 --> 00:09:06,720 Or, just wait till they go on holiday. 164 00:09:08,480 --> 00:09:09,960 Well, the Observer, in 1831, 165 00:09:09,960 --> 00:09:13,680 reported on the 16th January, "Burglars entered a house" 166 00:09:13,680 --> 00:09:15,560 "in County Meath, armed with a dead man's hand" 167 00:09:15,560 --> 00:09:18,080 "with a lighted candle in it, believing in the superstitious" 168 00:09:18,080 --> 00:09:21,520 "notion that it would prevent those who may be asleep from awaking." 169 00:09:21,520 --> 00:09:22,680 Do you think it worked? No. 170 00:09:22,680 --> 00:09:24,600 No, they woke instantly and raised the alarm. 171 00:09:24,600 --> 00:09:26,520 Screamed their heads off. Yeah, absolutely. 172 00:09:26,520 --> 00:09:29,000 He's got a burning hand! 173 00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,480 The occult was also used against burglars. 174 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:34,480 So there used to be quite a lot of book curses, 175 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:36,400 because books were phenomenally expensive. 176 00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:39,320 So in the Middle Ages they wanted to stop people from stealing books. 177 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:42,560 This is a fantastic one from a 15th century manuscript 178 00:09:42,560 --> 00:09:44,840 owned by Count Jean d'Orleans. 179 00:09:44,840 --> 00:09:47,840 "Whoever steals this book will hang on a gallows in Paris," 180 00:09:47,840 --> 00:09:50,360 "and if he isn't hung, he'll drown, and if he doesn't drown," 181 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:54,520 "he'll roast, and if he doesn't roast, a worse end will befall him." 182 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:57,760 He's covering a lot of bases there. He is really, yeah. 183 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,200 He don't want that book stolen. No, that's not going to... 184 00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:02,560 Look after it. Yeah. 185 00:10:02,560 --> 00:10:06,760 Now, which horny member of royalty is immune from any 186 00:10:06,760 --> 00:10:08,840 form of legal prosecution? 187 00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,640 Yes? 188 00:10:11,640 --> 00:10:13,000 Prince Andrew? 189 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:16,160 Oh, no. 190 00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,320 It's going to be something with horns? Yes. 191 00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,200 Is it like a royal cow or something? 192 00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:25,520 No. There should be, I think. The Royal Cow. 193 00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,240 That's a snail what you're doing. 194 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:33,920 Brian from Magic Roundabout. Magic Roundabout. Hello. 195 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:35,640 Who was it - Florence and Dougal? Yeah. 196 00:10:35,640 --> 00:10:38,200 And there was the one who's based on Bob Dylan, the rabbit. 197 00:10:38,200 --> 00:10:40,080 Dylan. And he was stoned all the time. 198 00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:42,240 Yeah, exactly, it was the '70s. 199 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:45,000 You were allowed to be stoned in a children's cartoon. 200 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,800 Helen did you say? 201 00:10:46,800 --> 00:10:49,400 Dylan. Dylan, yeah. Dylan. Dylan, yeah. 202 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:51,280 Yes, we just said that, thanks. We said that. 203 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:54,040 That person just woke up. "Dylan, they're talking about Dylan!" 204 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:58,400 "They're talking about Magic Roundabout! Dylan!" 205 00:11:00,360 --> 00:11:03,240 The guy's just beginning to get the hang of mind-reading. 206 00:11:04,800 --> 00:11:07,720 "Mushroom! Mushroom!" 207 00:11:07,720 --> 00:11:08,880 "Potato!" 208 00:11:08,880 --> 00:11:11,040 Come on now - horny, member of royalty. 209 00:11:11,040 --> 00:11:13,080 In the context of the occult... Yes. 210 00:11:13,080 --> 00:11:14,800 ..who is a horny royal? The Devil. 211 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,280 The Devil is exactly right. 212 00:11:16,280 --> 00:11:19,080 The Devil. You can't prosecute the Devil? 213 00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:22,520 No, so, 1971 there was an American called Gerald Mayo, 214 00:11:22,520 --> 00:11:24,200 attempted to sue the Devil. 215 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:26,040 And there is the case. 216 00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:28,400 "United States ex rel. Gerald Mayo" 217 00:11:28,400 --> 00:11:30,720 "vs Satan and His Staff." 218 00:11:30,720 --> 00:11:33,160 And it was heard by the US District Court 219 00:11:33,160 --> 00:11:35,840 for the Western District of Pennsylvania. 220 00:11:35,840 --> 00:11:39,000 "Satan has on numerous occasions caused" 221 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:41,880 "plaintiff misery and unwarranted threats." 222 00:11:41,880 --> 00:11:44,640 "Against the will of the plaintiff, Satan has placed deliberate" 223 00:11:44,640 --> 00:11:47,960 "obstacles in his path and has caused the plaintiff's downfall." 224 00:11:47,960 --> 00:11:50,160 The first point that was raised by the judge, 225 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:53,800 a man called Gerald J Weber, was that he wasn't sure that they 226 00:11:53,800 --> 00:11:58,000 could prosecute Satan, as Satan was technically a foreign prince 227 00:11:58,000 --> 00:12:01,160 and if sued he might be able to claim immunity. 228 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,200 Surely it's a typo, he meant "Stan." 229 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,040 And in the end they refused his request, 230 00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:11,760 because nobody could find an address to serve the Satan the papers. 231 00:12:11,760 --> 00:12:14,040 You actually have to put it in their hand, don't you? 232 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:15,480 Yeah. Otherwise it doesn't count. 233 00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:17,920 Yeah. Wow! But do you know about the Devil's Advocate? 234 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:19,880 Do you know about that? Avocado? As in being one? 235 00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:22,240 Well, it's a Roman Catholic thing, the Devil's Advocate. 236 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:23,920 Yeah, as in to play Devil's Advocate? 237 00:12:23,920 --> 00:12:25,880 Well, that's where the phrase comes from, 238 00:12:25,880 --> 00:12:27,400 but it used to be a proper job. 239 00:12:27,400 --> 00:12:29,200 It was the job of the Devil's Advocate 240 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,280 to argue the case against proposed sainthoods. 241 00:12:31,280 --> 00:12:32,440 So his job was to say - 242 00:12:32,440 --> 00:12:34,320 this person is going to come up to be a saint, 243 00:12:34,320 --> 00:12:35,640 I don't think it's a good idea. 244 00:12:35,640 --> 00:12:38,720 It was got rid of by Pope John Paul II, in 1983, 245 00:12:38,720 --> 00:12:41,160 and the number of saints just shot through the roof. 246 00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:43,560 But anybody know the correct way to greet the Devil? 247 00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:47,200 High five? No. I reckon there's got to be some deference in it, 248 00:12:47,200 --> 00:12:50,160 you go down on one knee, little bit of a hornpipe, sticking 249 00:12:50,160 --> 00:12:52,280 AN elbow out, two thumbs up, come on, 250 00:12:52,280 --> 00:12:54,840 take us on a wild, giddy journey. 251 00:12:54,840 --> 00:12:58,640 OK, yeah. Down on one knee is a good place to start. 252 00:12:58,640 --> 00:13:02,040 See. Like, no, not a blowy. 253 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,920 It's the kiss of shame, you have to kiss the Devil's... 254 00:13:05,920 --> 00:13:09,200 You kiss his ring? His arse, you have to kiss his arse. There it is. 255 00:13:09,200 --> 00:13:11,320 What?! Yeah. Kiss his bum. 256 00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:15,360 The Osculum Infame, the Kiss of Shame. Kissing the Devil's arse. 257 00:13:15,360 --> 00:13:18,880 Do you think he lifts his own tail, or do you have to lift his tail? 258 00:13:18,880 --> 00:13:22,240 Flick that tail right up, reveal the anus, a little wink. 259 00:13:22,240 --> 00:13:23,680 Give us a kiss. 260 00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:25,400 I'd like it if it was like a Pez dispenser, 261 00:13:25,400 --> 00:13:27,760 so like when it lifts up, you get a little Devil sweet. 262 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:29,160 You're like, yum-yum, thank you. 263 00:13:29,160 --> 00:13:31,920 You've crossed, you've crossed the line, did you hear that noise? 264 00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:37,520 Sweets from the Devil's arse? No. Not on the BBC. 265 00:13:37,520 --> 00:13:41,800 The rest of that chat's fine, but we're drawing the line there. 266 00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:45,120 We like Pez and you've ruined it for us! 267 00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:47,320 Mushroom! 268 00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:51,200 Alan actually knows the parameters. 269 00:13:51,200 --> 00:13:54,760 We think of you as a sort of a shambling, lovable figure, 270 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:58,080 but you actually are sensing stuff like a shaman. 271 00:13:58,080 --> 00:14:01,360 You're reading their minds, Alan. Yeah. 272 00:14:01,360 --> 00:14:03,000 No, they just made a funny noise. 273 00:14:04,520 --> 00:14:08,120 Now, time for mind-reading number two. 274 00:14:08,120 --> 00:14:12,560 OK, so for this I'm going to ask Aisling please to channel 275 00:14:12,560 --> 00:14:15,160 Carol Vorderman for me, if you don't mind. 276 00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:17,640 Vr-o-o-o-p. So here is a pen. 277 00:14:17,640 --> 00:14:20,200 So you've got to hold it up so that everybody can see. 278 00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,120 Yes. So maybe Alan can help you with that. 279 00:14:22,120 --> 00:14:24,720 Well, I think I'm all right. 280 00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,080 No, no, I mean hold it up so that the audience can see 281 00:14:27,080 --> 00:14:28,560 what you're writing. 282 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:31,280 Oh, I see what you mean. Yes. 283 00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,440 Thank God I got this big strong man with me 284 00:14:35,440 --> 00:14:37,320 to help with this heavy old board. 285 00:14:37,320 --> 00:14:39,440 Oh! 286 00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:42,960 There's a gentleman wearing a T-shirt 287 00:14:42,960 --> 00:14:44,720 that says "Love Is" something. 288 00:14:44,720 --> 00:14:46,640 Any random number please. 289 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:50,400 Just single-digit number. Eight. It wasn't a difficult question. 290 00:14:50,400 --> 00:14:53,000 Eight. He's gone eight. 291 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,080 Write that down please. OK. 292 00:14:55,080 --> 00:14:57,840 Just to warn you, you're going to write a three-digit number 293 00:14:57,840 --> 00:14:59,880 and there's going to be quite a lot of numbers. 294 00:14:59,880 --> 00:15:02,480 So, eight. Oh, dear God. 295 00:15:09,800 --> 00:15:11,480 Could you just start again? OK. 296 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:14,520 That was just me having a gentle laugh with you, Sandi 297 00:15:14,520 --> 00:15:17,920 I love it. There is, let's go right up the back there, 298 00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,680 first row at the very back. 299 00:15:19,680 --> 00:15:22,800 The blue shirt at the end? Two. Two, number two. 300 00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:25,560 OK, two. OK, there we go. 301 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:29,120 Squeaky. Shut up, Debbie McGee, go back again. 302 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:32,240 And let's go over here, lady with a patterned top? 303 00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,520 Seven. 827. OK. 304 00:15:34,520 --> 00:15:38,000 Whoa. So what I want you to do now is reverse the digits underneath. 305 00:15:39,720 --> 00:15:42,320 Oh, yes. Oh... 306 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:44,520 ..but that's always going to be two in the middle. 307 00:15:44,520 --> 00:15:45,960 Yeah, that's fine, keep going. 308 00:15:45,960 --> 00:15:47,960 That's still... Put it upside down. 309 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,200 It's not really complicated, what I'm asking you to do. 310 00:15:50,200 --> 00:15:51,680 Yes, yes, yes. 311 00:15:51,680 --> 00:15:54,080 Could you now subtract the smaller 312 00:15:54,080 --> 00:15:55,800 number from the larger? 313 00:15:57,280 --> 00:15:58,480 Right, yeah. OK, 314 00:15:58,480 --> 00:16:00,960 so we're going to do this now. 315 00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:04,840 So we take eight from seven, just not possible, 316 00:16:04,840 --> 00:16:06,680 I think we all know that. 317 00:16:06,680 --> 00:16:10,600 OK. Yes, so we're going to do... 318 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:13,440 Wow! I mean, I'm in the arts, you see, so... 319 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,320 Yeah. It's just... Nine, nine, nine! 320 00:16:15,320 --> 00:16:18,320 Um... um... Stop saying "no" at me in German 321 00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:20,560 and tell me what this is. 322 00:16:20,560 --> 00:16:23,800 Nine. Yeah, and then it's going to be nine again. 323 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:26,280 And then this one comes down here... It's going to be nine again. 324 00:16:26,280 --> 00:16:27,880 So it's three from nine, God! 325 00:16:27,880 --> 00:16:30,640 So I need to have three numbers, so put a zero now please. 326 00:16:30,640 --> 00:16:32,120 So you have three numbers. 327 00:16:32,120 --> 00:16:35,720 Now reverse those digits, please. Zero... 328 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:36,800 Always nine. 329 00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:39,840 And please could you add them together? 330 00:16:39,840 --> 00:16:43,040 Um... 331 00:16:43,040 --> 00:16:46,480 So 18. No. 332 00:16:47,800 --> 00:16:50,080 So nine and zero, start again. Oh! 333 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:53,800 Nine and zero is nine. Nine and nine is eight, carry one. 334 00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:56,360 18. So the answer is? 1,089. 335 00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:58,880 OK, so we've come to 1089. OK, thank you very much. 336 00:16:58,880 --> 00:17:01,680 Wow, that was painful. 337 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:04,280 Really painful. 338 00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:10,480 So what was the number that we had? We had 1089. 339 00:17:10,480 --> 00:17:13,640 So, Noel, I'm going to pass you a copy of 1,342 QI Facts 340 00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:17,840 To Leave You Flabbergasted. 341 00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:21,440 Noel? Yes? Could you, let's see, 1089, 342 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:24,200 take the tenth word on page 89 343 00:17:24,200 --> 00:17:26,320 and tell me what it is. Yeah. 344 00:17:26,320 --> 00:17:28,600 What is it? French. 345 00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:32,600 French. Here is the envelope that I did earlier. 346 00:17:32,600 --> 00:17:36,360 And there is the word French. No! 347 00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:48,000 Whoa! Isn't that fab? That's a very good trick. 348 00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:50,240 I mean, that's nuts. Yeah. 349 00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,440 Sandi, you clearly are Satan born again, show me 350 00:17:52,440 --> 00:17:57,120 the correct greeting once more. 351 00:18:00,320 --> 00:18:03,200 I'm ready. 352 00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:04,720 And the powers it will surely imbue. 353 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:09,000 Anyway, thank you very much to our audience, 354 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,240 and very well done to Carol there. Very good. 355 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:17,200 Does anybody want to know how I did it? Yes. 356 00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,320 Nah, I'm not telling. 357 00:18:20,280 --> 00:18:23,960 Can you tell me the final title in Shakespeare's oeuvre? 358 00:18:23,960 --> 00:18:26,560 Anybody know? He was very cranial, wasn't he? 359 00:18:26,560 --> 00:18:28,320 Big forehead. Yes. Receding. 360 00:18:28,320 --> 00:18:31,160 Really you'd like to hit him with a teaspoon. 361 00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:32,960 Dip a soldier in him. 362 00:18:34,160 --> 00:18:36,600 It would come out with sonnets on it. 363 00:18:37,640 --> 00:18:40,240 Last work authored by Shakespeare? Tempest, ain't it? 364 00:18:40,240 --> 00:18:43,320 The Tempest. Oh. 365 00:18:43,320 --> 00:18:45,760 You've been in that? 366 00:18:45,760 --> 00:18:49,040 Is it definitely a play or could it have been a poem? 367 00:18:49,040 --> 00:18:52,400 It's not a play, it is a work authored by Shakespeare. 368 00:18:52,400 --> 00:18:54,320 Did he have a diary or something? 369 00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:57,200 I can tell you it was written in 1920. 370 00:18:57,200 --> 00:18:59,920 OK. Yeah. And we're doing the occult. 371 00:18:59,920 --> 00:19:01,880 Did someone channel him? That's exactly right. 372 00:19:01,880 --> 00:19:04,960 That's what they used to do, didn't they? According to a wonderful book called 373 00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:07,040 The Basics, it's the guide 374 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:09,520 followed by the British Library and the US Library of Congress. 375 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:13,400 Books written by authors after their death are still catalogued 376 00:19:13,400 --> 00:19:14,720 under their own name. 377 00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:17,120 So his last work, published in 1920, 378 00:19:17,120 --> 00:19:20,240 The Book For Him I Name For Jesus' Sake, 379 00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:23,120 by William Shakespeare... 380 00:19:23,120 --> 00:19:26,240 Wow... is in fact the last listed work by William Shakespeare 381 00:19:26,240 --> 00:19:27,520 in the British Library. 382 00:19:27,520 --> 00:19:29,960 So the royalties of that go to his family? 383 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:33,480 Sadly not, I think they go to Sarah Taylor Shatford, who wrote it. 384 00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:36,440 Shatford? Shatford. 385 00:19:36,440 --> 00:19:37,920 She deserves some cash. 386 00:19:37,920 --> 00:19:40,560 Mark Twain wrote a book seven years after his death entitled 387 00:19:40,560 --> 00:19:43,520 Jap Herron: A Novel Written From the Ouija Board. 388 00:19:43,520 --> 00:19:46,480 And noted spiritualist and dead person, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle 389 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:50,600 got in touch in 1983 to write The Great Mystery of Life Beyond Death. 390 00:19:50,600 --> 00:19:52,680 Are these all by a Ouija board, or are some of them 391 00:19:52,680 --> 00:19:55,000 with automatic writing? That was a thing, wasn't it? 392 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,480 Some of them are automatic writing, so they're a kind of a mix. 393 00:19:57,480 --> 00:19:59,880 That is a weird Ouija board scenario, 394 00:19:59,880 --> 00:20:02,520 that's a gingham shirt and they're clearly on public transport. 395 00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:08,480 First we summons the dead, then a hoedown. 396 00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:11,640 Anyway, William Shakespeare's last work was written through 397 00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:13,200 the medium of a medium. 398 00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:16,560 What's the worst omen you can see on a football pitch? 399 00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:20,240 An omen? Yeah. Are footballers superstitious? 400 00:20:20,240 --> 00:20:23,120 Yes! Is it a young woman with a list of allegations? 401 00:20:31,320 --> 00:20:34,000 But is there something about the markings on the field 402 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:36,160 that are significant to occultists? 403 00:20:36,160 --> 00:20:38,440 It's to do with the many superstitions 404 00:20:38,440 --> 00:20:41,800 that are associated with football. 1990 World Cup... 405 00:20:41,800 --> 00:20:45,400 Right... there was an Argentine goal keeper called Sergio Goycochea. 406 00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:48,880 Did he have a body part of an animal or something in the goal net? 407 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,680 No, what happened to him was, Argentina's quarterfinal 408 00:20:51,680 --> 00:20:54,920 was against Yugoslavia, and it ended in a draw, which meant? 409 00:20:54,920 --> 00:20:57,440 Penalty shoot-out. They had to do a penalty shoot-out. 410 00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:00,160 He needed to wee, but he wasn't allowed to leave the field. 411 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:01,760 So his team-mates surrounded him 412 00:21:01,760 --> 00:21:04,960 and he had a wee and he then blocked two penalty shots. 413 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,760 So, the coach thought this was a marvellous thing, took it as an 414 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:12,240 omen, and he went on to urinate on the field again, with his team-mates 415 00:21:12,240 --> 00:21:15,680 around him, before the semifinal penalty shoot-out against Italy. 416 00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,400 He blocked two shots and then went on into the finals, 417 00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,360 but they lost the finals against West Germany, because? 418 00:21:21,360 --> 00:21:23,200 He didn't urinate. He didn't wee, because? 419 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,600 It didn't go to a shoot-out. It didn't go to a shoot-out. 420 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:27,560 But, wasn't Germany's winning goal a penalty? 421 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:30,080 It was a late penalty and it was in the main body of the game, 422 00:21:30,080 --> 00:21:32,920 so he didn't have time to wee. Didn't have time for a wee. No. 423 00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:36,640 When they stood around him, did they look in or out, do you know? 424 00:21:36,640 --> 00:21:39,520 Do you know, I always think I've got all the information 425 00:21:39,520 --> 00:21:40,880 I need for this show. 426 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:42,760 Do you think he was a bit self-conscious? 427 00:21:42,760 --> 00:21:46,960 - His team-mates around him. - Well, because he might have been wearing somebody else's underpants, 428 00:21:46,960 --> 00:21:49,240 apparently that's a very common footballer thing, 429 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,920 is that they swap underpants. Some of them wear them inside out. 430 00:21:51,920 --> 00:21:53,320 - They do not! - Yeah. 431 00:21:53,320 --> 00:21:56,040 Was it Barry Fry who weed in all four corners of the ground? 432 00:21:56,040 --> 00:21:58,240 Do you remember that? Yes, I believe that is a fact, 433 00:21:58,240 --> 00:22:00,600 that Barry Fry, whilst manager of Birmingham, 434 00:22:00,600 --> 00:22:03,600 perhaps, weed in every corner of the ground. 435 00:22:03,600 --> 00:22:05,680 I thought you said Barry Cryer! 436 00:22:05,680 --> 00:22:08,240 No, not Barry Cryer. 437 00:22:08,240 --> 00:22:11,120 He's weed in all four corners of the Just A Minute studio. 438 00:22:11,120 --> 00:22:12,680 Yeah, just for that. 439 00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:15,760 Now, it's time for the ritual sacrifice of rationality 440 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:17,600 that we call General Ignorance. 441 00:22:17,600 --> 00:22:21,160 Fingers on buzzers, please. Take a look at this. 442 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:23,760 This is Tommaso, the world's richest cat. 443 00:22:23,760 --> 00:22:26,920 According to legend, how many lives does he have? 444 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:29,760 Well, now usually they have... Yes? 445 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,440 One less than ten. Yes? 446 00:22:37,040 --> 00:22:40,320 That isn't fair! I was being so clever. 447 00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:44,560 So, I can tell you that he is Italian, and that has a bearing. 448 00:22:44,560 --> 00:22:47,640 He's Italian? That cat? Yes. Where's his mouth? 449 00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:50,960 So why would it matter that he's Italian? 450 00:22:50,960 --> 00:22:52,400 Why would that make a difference? 451 00:22:52,400 --> 00:22:55,440 Because he has got so many past-a lives. 452 00:22:58,320 --> 00:23:01,480 Look, that is actually professional comedy you just witnessed. 453 00:23:03,240 --> 00:23:05,640 Are they superstitious, Italians, about cats? 454 00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:08,160 Yeah, but the number of lives that a cat has in superstition 455 00:23:08,160 --> 00:23:09,520 varies from culture to culture. 456 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,800 So the Italians believe it is seven. 457 00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:14,240 In Turkish and Arabic tradition it's six. 458 00:23:14,240 --> 00:23:15,840 Germany, Greece, Brazil, 459 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:19,280 a few Spanish-speaking places it's seven as well. We have nine. 460 00:23:19,280 --> 00:23:22,080 Tommaso is possibly just one of the world's richest cats. 461 00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:25,160 He was a stray adopted by an elderly Italian woman named 462 00:23:25,160 --> 00:23:28,640 Maria Assunta, and when she died in 2011, she bequeathed him 463 00:23:28,640 --> 00:23:34,720 13,000,000, to make sure he would be loved and cuddled. 464 00:23:34,720 --> 00:23:36,880 I would totally do it and I don't like cats. I'm... 465 00:23:36,880 --> 00:23:40,000 I'd sit at the bottom of an old man's bed 466 00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,040 and drink milk naked for 13,000,000. 467 00:23:42,040 --> 00:23:44,520 For probably 20 quid. Just for 20... 468 00:23:46,480 --> 00:23:49,800 Why do so many cultures have an idea that cats always come back? 469 00:23:49,800 --> 00:23:52,880 It's more they're cheating death, isn't that the thing? 470 00:23:52,880 --> 00:23:55,440 Yeah, they cheat death. They fall off a roof and they walk away. 471 00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:56,960 Lots of people think that they... 472 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,720 But, if you put them in a tumble dryer, they will die. They will. 473 00:23:59,720 --> 00:24:01,960 Eventually. 474 00:24:03,680 --> 00:24:06,760 On the ninth time. "He's still alive! 475 00:24:06,760 --> 00:24:11,880 "Go again!" This is the eighth cycle! 476 00:24:11,880 --> 00:24:14,800 "I can't even touch him, he's so hot!" 477 00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,040 "Arrgh, boof!" 478 00:24:17,040 --> 00:24:19,040 "Meow, bang, meow, bang." 479 00:24:20,400 --> 00:24:24,000 Can you put my socks in with it? 480 00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:27,840 Now, what should you use to make a traditional Jack-o-Lantern? 481 00:24:27,840 --> 00:24:29,360 Pumpkin. 482 00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,000 No, it's not a pumpkin. Yes? 483 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:37,720 A turnip. 484 00:24:37,720 --> 00:24:40,080 A turnip is exactly right. Yes, very good. 485 00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:42,680 Yeah. So turnips there on the left, and if you can't get a turnip, 486 00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:45,160 something called a mangelwurzel, which is on the right. 487 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:47,640 Do you know where the tradition of Halloween comes from? 488 00:24:47,640 --> 00:24:50,320 I'm looking at Aisling. Best country in the world, Sandi. 489 00:24:50,320 --> 00:24:53,440 Denmark. Oh, no. No? 490 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:57,240 Ireland, it came from Ireland, from Samhain, S-A-M-H-A-I-N, 491 00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:01,520 which is Halloween, All Hallows Eve, we celebrate our dead. 492 00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:03,640 How do you say it? Because it looks like Sam Hain. 493 00:25:03,640 --> 00:25:05,160 Yeah, Samhain. So-wan. Samhain. 494 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:08,680 Just haven't got time to say the whole thing properly. Yeah. Very busy people. 495 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:11,760 Now, I've got each of you some magic sticks, 496 00:25:11,760 --> 00:25:16,200 but I want you to tell me which of these sticks is a wand. 497 00:25:16,200 --> 00:25:19,680 So I'm going to give this one to Aisling, there we go. 498 00:25:19,680 --> 00:25:24,840 I am going to give this one to Noel. 499 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:26,560 There we go. That's it. 500 00:25:26,560 --> 00:25:28,160 I'm going to give this one to Russell. 501 00:25:28,160 --> 00:25:31,120 Oh, they're getting bigger and bigger. There we go. 502 00:25:31,120 --> 00:25:34,320 And ah... 503 00:25:34,320 --> 00:25:36,000 That's for Alan. 504 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:38,840 Aw. Actually, I've got two for you. 505 00:25:38,840 --> 00:25:40,240 You can have that one as well. 506 00:25:40,240 --> 00:25:43,720 Anybody know what a wand used to be? A walking stick? 507 00:25:43,720 --> 00:25:45,600 It's a unit of length. 508 00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:48,040 This was originally equivalent to a modern metre. 509 00:25:48,040 --> 00:25:50,840 So in fact Aisling has the original wand. 510 00:25:52,400 --> 00:25:55,040 Ooph! 511 00:25:57,680 --> 00:25:59,360 No, they're all old lengths. 512 00:25:59,360 --> 00:26:02,040 So, Noel, you've got something, it's called an "ars." 513 00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:05,960 It's an old Turkish unit meaning forearm. 514 00:26:05,960 --> 00:26:09,120 So you know in the Bible it says, Noah builds the ark using cubits? 515 00:26:09,120 --> 00:26:12,080 Yes, by cubits. That's that measure. That's the one you've got there. 516 00:26:12,080 --> 00:26:15,160 OK. And the one you've got, Russell, is Mongolian, it's an "ald", 517 00:26:15,160 --> 00:26:17,440 so it's the width of a man's arms outstretched. 518 00:26:17,440 --> 00:26:19,360 It was used in the time of Genghis Khan. 519 00:26:19,360 --> 00:26:22,040 I don't know if your arms would be the same as that span? 520 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,640 There's nothing wrong with Genghis and his army, 521 00:26:24,640 --> 00:26:27,560 out there on the plains, fighting on horseback, bows and arrows, 522 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:29,440 up against the Chinese, why the hell not? 523 00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:31,400 What else are you going to do, just sit quietly? 524 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:35,120 To hell with it, we've got me wand, I'm off out there. 525 00:26:37,200 --> 00:26:40,400 Alan, your little one is actually a measure. Oh. 526 00:26:40,400 --> 00:26:43,320 It's a pyramid inch, which briefly in the 19th century 527 00:26:43,320 --> 00:26:46,320 they believed was the measure that had been used by the Egyptians 528 00:26:46,320 --> 00:26:47,400 to build their pyramids. 529 00:26:47,400 --> 00:26:49,920 The other one you've got, Alan, is a Scandinavian measure, 530 00:26:49,920 --> 00:26:52,160 and do you know what it's called? It's 60cm long. 531 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:56,160 A, er, no. 532 00:26:56,160 --> 00:26:58,200 It's called an "alen." Aw. 533 00:26:58,200 --> 00:27:01,720 Is it? None of them are in fact magic wands. 534 00:27:01,720 --> 00:27:04,600 Does anybody know what you have to say in order to get a magic wand? 535 00:27:04,600 --> 00:27:05,880 Please. 536 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:08,840 Ah! Ah! 537 00:27:08,840 --> 00:27:11,880 She's a witch! Witch! 538 00:27:13,960 --> 00:27:16,520 That was genuinely alarming. Genuinely. 539 00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:19,640 Which brings us to the hell fire and damnation of the scores, 540 00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,120 and, oh, my. Last place, with minus 17 - 541 00:27:22,120 --> 00:27:25,680 Noel Fielding. 542 00:27:29,200 --> 00:27:31,720 In a very creditable third place - 543 00:27:31,720 --> 00:27:33,360 Russell! 544 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:40,080 In second place, with minus two - 545 00:27:40,080 --> 00:27:42,680 it's Alan! 546 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:48,000 And that means... 547 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,920 Oh, my God! 548 00:27:50,920 --> 00:27:53,280 This week I've won. No, it means... 549 00:27:53,280 --> 00:27:58,480 with no points at all, this week's winner is Aisling. 550 00:28:07,480 --> 00:28:10,160 And that means that Aisling is the winner of tonight's 551 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:11,560 objectionable object. 552 00:28:11,560 --> 00:28:15,000 This is the skull of one of the QI researchers, as a matter of fact. 553 00:28:15,000 --> 00:28:17,800 So there you are, Aisling, there is your object to take home. 554 00:28:17,800 --> 00:28:19,800 Oh, goodness me. Is it a real skull? 555 00:28:19,800 --> 00:28:22,760 Yes, of course darling, look at the size of it. Oh. 556 00:28:22,760 --> 00:28:25,960 Just, your biology as good as your maths. 557 00:28:28,680 --> 00:28:32,520 Thank you to Russell, Noel, Aisling and Alan, I leave you with this, 558 00:28:32,520 --> 00:28:37,080 the great French zoologist Georges Cuvier was irritatingly logical. 559 00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:38,480 One day, to teach him a lesson, 560 00:28:38,480 --> 00:28:40,960 a colleague broke into his bedroom dressed as a devil with 561 00:28:40,960 --> 00:28:43,680 horns on his head, and shouted: "Mr Cuvier, I'm going to eat you!" 562 00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:44,960 To which he replied: 563 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:48,320 "All animals with horns and hooves are herbivorous." 564 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:51,680 And he went back to sleep. Thank you and good night.