1 00:00:32,560 --> 00:00:35,920 Hello, and welcome to QI, 2 00:00:35,960 --> 00:00:40,480 which tonight is an omnibus of Oddballs. 3 00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:44,920 Let's meet our obliging odd-fellows. An odd bod, Jason Manford. 4 00:00:44,960 --> 00:00:48,920 Odd. 5 00:00:48,960 --> 00:00:51,440 An odd fish, Jimmy Carr. 6 00:00:53,520 --> 00:00:56,400 Really OK, fine. 7 00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,760 An odd lot, Victoria Coren Mitchell. 8 00:01:00,280 --> 00:01:02,040 What is an odd lot?! 9 00:01:03,120 --> 00:01:06,080 And Odds Bodkins, Alan Davies. 10 00:01:06,120 --> 00:01:07,800 Hello. 11 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,040 Right, let's hear their Odd Ball buzzers. 12 00:01:16,080 --> 00:01:17,440 Jason Manford goes... 13 00:01:20,680 --> 00:01:22,280 Very good. 14 00:01:22,320 --> 00:01:23,360 Jimmy goes... 15 00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:27,000 Oh. 16 00:01:27,040 --> 00:01:28,680 Well, my apologies. 17 00:01:28,720 --> 00:01:30,080 A Mexican lunch. 18 00:01:30,120 --> 00:01:31,600 Victoria goes... 19 00:01:34,800 --> 00:01:37,040 Oh, you... And Alan goes... 20 00:01:37,080 --> 00:01:38,560 ♪ Bouncy bouncy 21 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,280 ♪ Bouncy bouncy 22 00:01:40,320 --> 00:01:41,840 ♪ Bouncy bouncy 23 00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:44,120 ♪ Bouncy bouncy. ♪ 24 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,960 Oddly enough, we start with Oddball games. 25 00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:50,960 So you've each got a selection of odd balls under your desks. 26 00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,320 Odd balls coming up. 27 00:01:52,360 --> 00:01:56,840 Kindly invent a new ball game, and I would like you to use your heads. 28 00:01:59,600 --> 00:02:01,240 That was funny. What did you do, just...? 29 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:02,440 I threw it at his head, look. 30 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:10,680 Not the baseball! 31 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:12,360 OK, can we get the orange one back again? 32 00:02:12,400 --> 00:02:14,040 Can we have it thrown back by somebody? 33 00:02:14,080 --> 00:02:17,280 Somebody will throw it to us, I'm sure. Come on. Oh, whoa! 34 00:02:17,320 --> 00:02:18,880 That was terrifying! Do you know what? 35 00:02:18,920 --> 00:02:20,680 If you can't throw, don't volunteer. 36 00:02:20,720 --> 00:02:23,040 Unbelievable! Unbelievable. Underarm, as well. 37 00:02:23,080 --> 00:02:25,760 If it comes over here again, I'll put a bloody knife through it! 38 00:02:29,120 --> 00:02:30,560 Curmudgeonly old man. OK. 39 00:02:30,600 --> 00:02:33,120 There is a German game called Headis, 40 00:02:33,160 --> 00:02:35,920 and it is ping-pong played without a bat, 41 00:02:35,960 --> 00:02:38,440 where you just hit it with your head. 42 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:41,600 So, it was invented by a sports science student. 43 00:02:41,640 --> 00:02:43,880 Push. But don't forget the net. 44 00:02:43,920 --> 00:02:46,880 The net?! Yes - so, there's a net in the way, right? 45 00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:49,280 OK, are you ready? Try now. 46 00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:50,560 Yes! 47 00:02:55,880 --> 00:02:57,000 Can you get that? 48 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:02,640 Result. 49 00:03:02,680 --> 00:03:04,400 He caught the ball. 50 00:03:06,360 --> 00:03:08,440 It was in 2006, his name is Rene Wegner, 51 00:03:08,480 --> 00:03:09,960 and he invented this game Headis. 52 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,600 It is now played internationally. 53 00:03:11,640 --> 00:03:15,320 It is on the official sports programme of 15 German universities, 54 00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:18,000 and have a look a this, because the top players are extraordinary, 55 00:03:18,040 --> 00:03:20,040 and they use sort of noms-de-guerre - 56 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:24,040 like, well there's things like "the Sausage Seller", "Leek Face", 57 00:03:24,080 --> 00:03:28,440 and "Bob Der Headmaster", which I'm... Wow... very pleased with. 58 00:03:28,480 --> 00:03:29,920 And they have astonishing rallies. 59 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:31,800 So they're replaced the bat with their heads. 60 00:03:31,840 --> 00:03:34,000 I suppose it's better than the ball. 61 00:03:34,040 --> 00:03:35,080 Oh! 62 00:03:35,120 --> 00:03:36,280 Ooh! 63 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:43,840 I can't help thinking of the corners of the table. 64 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,320 I know, yes. 65 00:03:45,360 --> 00:03:47,840 Another ball game we've discovered is a Swiss game 66 00:03:47,880 --> 00:03:51,320 called Hornussen, and this is one of Switzerland's national sports. 67 00:03:51,360 --> 00:03:53,800 You have two teams, but there seems to be no limit 68 00:03:53,840 --> 00:03:55,840 to the size of the team, or the size of the pitch, 69 00:03:55,880 --> 00:03:58,640 and there is a ball, which stands on this little thing like this, 70 00:03:58,680 --> 00:04:01,080 and then what looks like a bendy golf club, right? 71 00:04:01,120 --> 00:04:04,200 And you hit the ball and it goes out into a field, 72 00:04:04,240 --> 00:04:07,920 and then the opposition have these enormous sort of placards. 73 00:04:07,960 --> 00:04:09,840 So here's the guy who hits the ball. 74 00:04:11,240 --> 00:04:13,520 It's a bendy golf club, yeah - 75 00:04:13,560 --> 00:04:18,520 and then a guy with a placard... 76 00:04:18,560 --> 00:04:21,840 ..tries to stop the ball, OK? 77 00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:23,200 And yes, a lot of shouting... 78 00:04:23,240 --> 00:04:27,440 ..and then - oh, there they are - and there seems to be no limit. 79 00:04:27,480 --> 00:04:29,840 That is good. It's good! That is brilliant. 80 00:04:29,880 --> 00:04:31,560 It's been around since the 17th century, 81 00:04:31,600 --> 00:04:33,400 and it evolved from the ancient tradition 82 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:37,960 of hitting burning logs down the mountainside to expel evil spirits. 83 00:04:39,560 --> 00:04:42,120 But the ball can go up to 306km per hour - 84 00:04:42,160 --> 00:04:43,800 I mean, it's a fantastically fast thing. 85 00:04:43,840 --> 00:04:46,000 Ah, well, that explains why that fellow in the video 86 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,480 didn't have many teeth left. Yeah, I think that's the thing. 87 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,360 300km an hour? Yeah, yeah. 88 00:04:51,400 --> 00:04:53,320 That's really fast, isn't it? It's really fast. 89 00:04:53,360 --> 00:04:56,000 It would tell us a lot about the human mind 90 00:04:56,040 --> 00:04:58,080 to know exactly when in history 91 00:04:58,120 --> 00:05:01,160 people went from, "Well, it's very important" 92 00:05:01,200 --> 00:05:03,480 "that we hit this burning thing down the mountain" 93 00:05:03,520 --> 00:05:04,720 "to ward off evil spirits," 94 00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:06,480 to, "Let's just make a massive game of it." 95 00:05:06,520 --> 00:05:08,640 It's a huge, hilarious game. 96 00:05:08,680 --> 00:05:10,000 This game I like the look of, 97 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:11,880 although I would not be able to play it. 98 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:14,280 It's called Cycle Ball, it was invented in 1893, 99 00:05:14,320 --> 00:05:16,280 it is enormously popular in Germany. 100 00:05:16,320 --> 00:05:18,080 Anybody work out how you play it? 101 00:05:18,120 --> 00:05:20,360 Is it not like polo, but they're on bicycles? 102 00:05:20,400 --> 00:05:22,840 Yes, and you have to use the front wheel of the bicycle - 103 00:05:22,880 --> 00:05:26,680 and, again, just extraordinary skill that the players have with this. 104 00:05:26,720 --> 00:05:29,280 Obviously it's tremendously exciting. 105 00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:30,600 Wow! Ooh, what a goal. Oh, nice. 106 00:05:30,640 --> 00:05:33,000 Yeah, yeah. Look. Ooh, he's lobbed him. He's lobbed him... 107 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:36,000 Ooh, ooh! Crikey O'Reilly. Oh, this is a good show reel. 108 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,320 Yeah, that's, I mean... I would actually watch that. 109 00:05:38,360 --> 00:05:40,280 It's quite exciting, don't you think? Yeah. 110 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:42,080 I would totally watch that. Yeah. 111 00:05:42,120 --> 00:05:43,440 This is, I think, I seem to... 112 00:05:43,480 --> 00:05:45,240 For - I mean, for a bit. Yeah. 113 00:05:48,080 --> 00:05:49,640 One I like is a game called Pushball. 114 00:05:49,680 --> 00:05:51,760 So, there's a guy called Moses Crane, in the 1890s, 115 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:54,200 who watched a lot of American football, and he got confused. 116 00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:57,000 You know in American football they always have sort of like a scrum? 117 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,200 They couldn't find the ball, so he invented this game. 118 00:05:59,240 --> 00:06:01,080 "It's so big!" It is. 119 00:06:01,120 --> 00:06:04,320 It's a six foot ball that weighs 50 pounds. 120 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:05,600 Wow. 121 00:06:05,640 --> 00:06:08,680 So those guys are about to die. Yeah! 122 00:06:08,720 --> 00:06:11,600 No, the idea is you have to either get it across the line, 123 00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:13,720 or you have to get it across a crossbar. 124 00:06:13,760 --> 00:06:16,200 People played it on horseback. 125 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:20,640 Is that the... Is that the American remake of The Prisoner? 126 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:25,400 OK, balls away, please. 127 00:06:25,440 --> 00:06:26,600 Balls away. 128 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:27,760 Now here's an odd question. 129 00:06:27,800 --> 00:06:31,400 How can I persuade you to do what I want using only my thumb? 130 00:06:31,440 --> 00:06:33,480 Er... Ah, well, now, well... 131 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:38,040 I can think of a couple of possibilities. Yeah. 132 00:06:39,120 --> 00:06:40,560 Just... Yes? 133 00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:42,600 No, I've got nothing that isn't filth. Nothing. 134 00:06:42,640 --> 00:06:44,360 Nothing, no? Nothing that isn't filth. 135 00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:47,240 It is known as the "thumb of power" and it's a hand gesture 136 00:06:47,280 --> 00:06:50,160 used very widely by modern politicians when they make speeches. 137 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,656 Oh, it's to stop you doing this, isn't it? To stop you going... 138 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:54,520 Yeah. "You!" Apparently it's more powerful - 139 00:06:54,560 --> 00:06:56,360 don't do that, because people don't like it, 140 00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:58,920 but if you do that you look like you're a powerful person. Yeah. 141 00:06:58,960 --> 00:07:00,640 Never do that as a politician. No. 142 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:04,960 There's a science of oratorical hand gestures, 143 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,880 and it's called chironomia, 144 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:10,280 and it was set out in precise detail in 95AD, so a really long time ago. 145 00:07:10,320 --> 00:07:12,640 Quintilian's Institutio Oratoria. 146 00:07:12,680 --> 00:07:15,560 It says here, "One of the commonest of all the gestures" 147 00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:19,200 "consists in placing the middle finger against the thumb" 148 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:21,120 "and extending the remaining three." 149 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:23,000 "It is suitable in the statement of facts," 150 00:07:23,040 --> 00:07:25,360 "but in that case the hand must be moved with firmness" 151 00:07:25,400 --> 00:07:26,600 "and a little further forward" 152 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,400 "while, if we are reproaching or refuting our adversary," 153 00:07:29,440 --> 00:07:32,440 "the same movement may be employed with some vehemence and energy," 154 00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:35,800 "since such passages permit of greater freedom of extension." 155 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,120 You know, I'll tell you who does it... Yes? 156 00:07:38,160 --> 00:07:40,440 I think, Paulie Walnuts in the Sopranos. 157 00:07:40,480 --> 00:07:42,480 Does he? And Spider-Man. 158 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:47,040 But the study of oratory and rhetoric 159 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:48,760 dates back a really long time - 160 00:07:48,800 --> 00:07:51,920 and there's all sorts of rules about classic rhetoric 161 00:07:51,960 --> 00:07:54,800 based around the rule of three, which is the same as in comedy. 162 00:07:54,840 --> 00:07:57,680 So, tricolon, "I came, I saw, I conquered." 163 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,760 Or veni, vidi, Visa - "I came, I saw, I shopped." 164 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:04,320 Molossus, so that's three stressed syllables. 165 00:08:04,360 --> 00:08:05,960 "Yes, we can." 166 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,480 And epizeuxis, so, "Location, location, location," 167 00:08:08,520 --> 00:08:10,640 when you repeat the same word over and over again - 168 00:08:10,680 --> 00:08:12,600 but it hasn't changed, it hasn't changed. 169 00:08:12,640 --> 00:08:14,920 So you get ethos, logos and pathos, 170 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:17,480 those are the three modes of persuasion. 171 00:08:17,520 --> 00:08:20,200 So, ethos is how you establish the credibility of the speaker. 172 00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:23,080 So, "Watch QI, I'm on it." 173 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,720 Logos, you present the logical argument. 174 00:08:25,760 --> 00:08:27,320 "Watch QI, it's really good." 175 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:29,240 And pathos, appeal to the emotions. 176 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,720 "Watch QI or we shoot this kitten." 177 00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,520 I was just using it as a rough example. 178 00:08:37,560 --> 00:08:40,320 There have been manuals about how you gesture 179 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:41,840 since there have been speeches. 180 00:08:41,880 --> 00:08:44,800 This is a wonderful one. Oh, I've done this on a stag do. 181 00:08:44,840 --> 00:08:47,680 It's brilliant. 182 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:51,920 Zorb - zorb football, it's called. You run downhill. 183 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:55,120 It's a right laugh, 12 of you, "Boing, boing..." 184 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:58,280 We didn't dress like that. 185 00:08:58,320 --> 00:08:59,320 Hob, dob, do. 186 00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,640 Hob, dob, do. 187 00:09:04,160 --> 00:09:05,680 Hob, dob, do. 188 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:06,920 Ao. 189 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:11,600 I think he might - I think he might be learning the Macarena. 190 00:09:13,080 --> 00:09:14,400 I'm totally sure. 191 00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:18,080 And politicians can't help but use them. 192 00:09:18,120 --> 00:09:20,640 My favourite example is Richard Nixon 193 00:09:20,680 --> 00:09:24,000 on the day that he was made to resign as President, 194 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:26,280 that's what he chose to do as he left. 195 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:29,600 Clearly hadn't got the message it hadn't gone all that well. 196 00:09:29,640 --> 00:09:31,840 I think I could play a young Nixon. 197 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,440 Yes, actually, that's slightly terrifying, isn't it? Yeah. 198 00:09:36,080 --> 00:09:38,160 And Angela Merkel always holds her hands like that. 199 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:40,760 In fact, in Germany, it's known as the Merkel-Raute, 200 00:09:40,800 --> 00:09:43,680 the Merkel diamond, that's just how she always holds her hands. 201 00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:45,800 Trump, also, lots of signature hand signals. 202 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,000 When Donald Trump took to office, little did he know. 203 00:09:53,200 --> 00:09:54,440 Very good. 204 00:09:56,120 --> 00:09:57,720 I like Angela Merkel's one - 205 00:09:57,760 --> 00:10:00,320 it's like she's going to go, "Open the door, see all the people." 206 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:01,880 It does look like that! 207 00:10:01,920 --> 00:10:04,320 "I have ze steeple and zen - oh, look." 208 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:07,560 "Ah, zere's no British people." 209 00:10:11,360 --> 00:10:13,960 Don't you think, Victoria, when you have your photograph taken, 210 00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,880 it's awkward to know what to do with your hands? 211 00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,200 If you're a woman, especially. 212 00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:20,000 You can't put your hands in your pockets, can you? No, yes, terrible. 213 00:10:20,040 --> 00:10:21,600 I've read things that say, you know, 214 00:10:21,640 --> 00:10:23,640 if you put one foot forward, you look thinner. 215 00:10:23,680 --> 00:10:25,520 I like the idea of the one foot forward. 216 00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:27,920 Just do that. Always just do that. Why is that? 217 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:30,040 Because people will always remember you. 218 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:36,560 "Remember that man" 219 00:10:36,600 --> 00:10:38,880 "that thought there was a robbery going on all the time?" 220 00:10:38,920 --> 00:10:40,440 "Yeah, I remember him, yeah." 221 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:41,640 Am I alone in this? 222 00:10:41,680 --> 00:10:43,640 When you see great-looking women at premieres, 223 00:10:43,680 --> 00:10:45,800 and they have a picture and they're looking over... 224 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:48,680 Whenever I see a picture like that, I don't understand how they do it. 225 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,240 No. They used to have a pose they did on Page 3 226 00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,680 where it got the tits and the bum in the same shot. 227 00:10:53,720 --> 00:10:54,720 Really? 228 00:10:57,280 --> 00:10:59,400 Tits and the bum in the same shot? 229 00:11:02,480 --> 00:11:04,080 I think I've got it. 230 00:11:06,280 --> 00:11:09,440 Yeah? You be the bum, you be the bum, and I'll... 231 00:11:09,480 --> 00:11:11,400 Bend over, be the bum, like that. 232 00:11:12,440 --> 00:11:13,480 There we go. 233 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,320 Enough Oratory. 234 00:11:20,360 --> 00:11:23,960 How did this man's bare bottom help Britain win World War I? 235 00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,440 He looks really different with his suit off, doesn't he? 236 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,400 Like, you wouldn't even know that was him. 237 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,840 Give us a clue about the man - 238 00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:34,840 did something go into his bottom or come out of it? Well... 239 00:11:36,840 --> 00:11:39,400 The man is called William Lawrence Bragg... Oh! 240 00:11:39,440 --> 00:11:42,680 ..he was a physicist. He was a Nobel laureate. 241 00:11:42,720 --> 00:11:45,520 In fact, he remains the youngest recipient of the Nobel Prize - 242 00:11:45,560 --> 00:11:49,280 he received it in 1915, along with his father, a famous physicist. 243 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:52,400 In 1915, he was serving as a subaltern in Flanders, 244 00:11:52,440 --> 00:11:56,560 trying to find out ways to use sound to locate enemy artillery. 245 00:11:56,600 --> 00:11:59,440 So, one day he was sitting on the latrine 246 00:11:59,480 --> 00:12:00,920 at the house where he was billeted - 247 00:12:00,960 --> 00:12:03,000 it was a tight little closet, with no window at all, 248 00:12:03,040 --> 00:12:04,040 and he'd shut the door, 249 00:12:04,080 --> 00:12:06,200 and so there was no other opening to the outside world 250 00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:07,896 apart from the one that he was sitting on - 251 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:10,480 and he noticed that when there was gunfire nearby, 252 00:12:10,520 --> 00:12:13,320 his backside momentarily lifted off the seat. 253 00:12:13,360 --> 00:12:15,600 Even when he didn't really hear the explosion, 254 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:17,320 there was a sort of a thing, like this - 255 00:12:17,360 --> 00:12:19,560 and meanwhile, another physicist he was working with, 256 00:12:19,600 --> 00:12:21,160 a man called William Tucker, 257 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:22,560 was billeted in a tar paper hut, 258 00:12:22,600 --> 00:12:25,960 and he noticed that by his cot there were just a couple of little holes, 259 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,200 and even on a day when there was no wind, 260 00:12:28,240 --> 00:12:30,480 little puffs of air were blowing through, 261 00:12:30,520 --> 00:12:32,280 and they compared notes, the two of them, 262 00:12:32,320 --> 00:12:34,600 one from the loo and one from these two little holes, 263 00:12:34,640 --> 00:12:37,200 and they deduced that this was the result 264 00:12:37,240 --> 00:12:40,160 of inaudible low frequency sounds of artillery, 265 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:43,000 and they set about devising detectors, 266 00:12:43,040 --> 00:12:44,480 and by 1917 it was so advanced 267 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:47,080 that the allies had a really devastating advantage 268 00:12:47,120 --> 00:12:48,760 in locating and targeting enemy guns... 269 00:12:48,800 --> 00:12:49,920 Wow. ..and it all came about 270 00:12:49,960 --> 00:12:52,040 because his backside lifted off the lavatory. Ooh! 271 00:12:52,080 --> 00:12:54,480 Is this maybe the most inspiring story I have ever heard... 272 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,520 About a lavatory... about a men's toilet and holes in a wall. 273 00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:03,360 Normally these end super differently. Yeah, yeah. 274 00:13:03,400 --> 00:13:05,760 Normally it's, "Then they had to shut down that garage." 275 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:10,016 And did they have to use his specific arse on all of this? 276 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:11,120 No, I don't... 277 00:13:11,160 --> 00:13:13,441 Did he have to go round the whole - "Oh, it's over there." 278 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:15,080 Yeah, but that's how he discovered it. 279 00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:17,920 Wow. There are still 40,000 outside lavatories in the UK. 280 00:13:17,960 --> 00:13:21,680 I'm surprised they've not all been turned into cereal cafes or summat. 281 00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,000 That's the sort of thing people keep doing now, 282 00:13:24,040 --> 00:13:25,480 turning toilets into bars. 283 00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,760 Yeah, there's one not far from here. Yeah? 284 00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,720 It's a toilet. That turned into a bar? 285 00:13:29,760 --> 00:13:31,440 It's called The Toilet, I think. 286 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:33,840 I think it is, actually, that's right! 287 00:13:35,040 --> 00:13:36,920 Where you go to the loo, God knows. 288 00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:39,640 You can go out on the street and do it up the side of a pub, like... 289 00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,680 Well, there used to be a thing, 290 00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:45,120 when people were peeing up the sides of buildings, boys, let's be honest. 291 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,480 Let's be honest, yeah. Boys peeing outside buildings. 292 00:13:47,520 --> 00:13:48,600 And talented girls. 293 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:51,280 Yeah, and talented - very talented girls 294 00:13:51,320 --> 00:13:52,720 who were straight from Page 3, 295 00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:54,920 showing their arse and their tits at the same time. 296 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:57,840 Lots of London buildings had special tilted metal bars, 297 00:13:57,880 --> 00:13:59,600 so that if somebody did pee against it, 298 00:13:59,640 --> 00:14:02,400 the pee would splash back on the person's shoes. 299 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:06,400 The most southerly public loo in Britain 300 00:14:06,440 --> 00:14:08,240 is on the island of the Minquiers. 301 00:14:08,280 --> 00:14:10,896 Here is a picture of it. It says, "This toilet has the distinction" 302 00:14:10,920 --> 00:14:13,280 "of being the most southern building in the British Isles." 303 00:14:13,320 --> 00:14:15,840 "Please use with care as the nearest alternative is in Jersey," 304 00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,640 "which is 11 miles away." 305 00:14:18,920 --> 00:14:21,640 It looks like those rocks are leaning against the toilet. 306 00:14:21,680 --> 00:14:24,240 It looks like they're queuing up, doesn't it? 307 00:14:24,280 --> 00:14:27,400 It does look like a queue, doesn't it, and they've solidified waiting. 308 00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:32,680 "Oh, hello, we're the Minquiers." 309 00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:35,240 "Is there anyone in there?" 310 00:14:35,280 --> 00:14:37,640 That's a great title for a band. 311 00:14:37,680 --> 00:14:39,200 "Hey, hey, we're The Minquiers." 312 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:40,920 "Hey, hey, we're The Minquiers." 313 00:14:40,960 --> 00:14:44,640 On a lighter note, who takes their mother. 314 00:14:44,680 --> 00:14:46,600 Ooh... 315 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:49,000 Terrible picture. Look at us there. What's...? 316 00:14:49,040 --> 00:14:51,480 Is that meant to be us as mothers. 317 00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:54,360 Yes, that's exactly what it is. I think that is the general... 318 00:14:54,400 --> 00:14:57,320 That's the look we're going for. That's definitely the weirdest idea 319 00:14:57,360 --> 00:14:58,480 for a picture of us. Yeah. 320 00:14:58,520 --> 00:15:00,880 I'm just thinking of mother-in-law jokes now. Go on, then. 321 00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:02,800 Well, the Les Dawson one is the best mother... 322 00:15:02,840 --> 00:15:05,000 Ah! 323 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:08,440 I haven't even told a joke! 324 00:15:08,480 --> 00:15:10,960 Damn you! That's not fair! 325 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:14,760 He had the classic, 326 00:15:14,800 --> 00:15:18,080 I was walking down the street with my wife 327 00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,040 and I saw my mother-in-law, 328 00:15:20,080 --> 00:15:22,480 and she was being beaten and robbed by six men. 329 00:15:22,520 --> 00:15:24,760 And my wife said, "Aren't you going to help?" 330 00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,000 I said, "No, six should be enough." 331 00:15:28,600 --> 00:15:30,720 I knew the mother-in-law was around, 332 00:15:30,760 --> 00:15:34,240 - because all the mice were throwing themselves on the trap. - Yeah! 333 00:15:35,920 --> 00:15:38,080 He's amazing, amazing. Fantastic comic. 334 00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:40,360 Is this the old school... Like, the day out? Yeah. 335 00:15:40,400 --> 00:15:42,800 Like you would take... Yeah... to watch. Absolutely right. 336 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:45,760 It was just down the road from here, wasn't it? Bethlem Hospital. Yeah. 337 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,600 You could go and they had a viewing gallery, 338 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:49,720 when you used to go and watch the crazy people. Yeah. 339 00:15:49,760 --> 00:15:52,240 In 19th-century America, if you could afford a honeymoon, 340 00:15:52,280 --> 00:15:54,656 you would go on a grand tour, like you'd go to Niagara Falls, 341 00:15:54,680 --> 00:15:57,320 but you would also take an excursion to an insane asylum, prisons, 342 00:15:57,360 --> 00:16:00,600 battlefields, homes for the deaf and dumb, orphanages - 343 00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:04,200 and it was normal practice to take your new in-laws along with you. 344 00:16:04,240 --> 00:16:05,440 Can you imagine? 345 00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:08,400 It's funny how, like, there's a part of you that hears about that, 346 00:16:08,440 --> 00:16:11,320 and you suddenly think, "Oh, well, I'm glad we've moved on," 347 00:16:11,360 --> 00:16:14,600 and then you think, "Isn't Big Brother still on the telly?" 348 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:17,760 Yeah, yeah. And Britain's Got Talent auditions. 349 00:16:17,800 --> 00:16:20,440 Yeah, I know! It's pretty much the same thing. 350 00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,720 I only actually watch those at the beginning, 351 00:16:22,760 --> 00:16:25,120 when you've got the nutters. "Where are you from?" "Hull." 352 00:16:25,160 --> 00:16:26,560 "Where are you from?" "Carlisle." 353 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:27,920 "Where are you from?" "Narnia!" 354 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,800 "Right, you're in, right to the front." 355 00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:34,840 So, odd outings, and odd days out, if you were interested - 356 00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:36,960 sewage treatment works, for example. Oh, yeah. 357 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:39,320 The Sha Tin sewage works in Hong Kong 358 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:42,160 offers, "Thematic tours, display panels", 359 00:16:42,200 --> 00:16:44,080 "model exhibitions and game booths," 360 00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:45,680 as well as "stage performances", 361 00:16:45,720 --> 00:16:48,000 "a fun area for kids and photo-taking corners." 362 00:16:48,040 --> 00:16:50,600 Can you see the guy in the bottom right? 363 00:16:54,040 --> 00:16:56,840 That really, that's very much like, "Oh, this is a terrible..." 364 00:16:56,880 --> 00:16:58,680 Yeah! "I thought it was a funny idea", 365 00:16:58,720 --> 00:17:00,240 "and now I'm here and it's bad." 366 00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:02,520 There's a treatment plant in New Zealand. 367 00:17:02,560 --> 00:17:06,280 "Sturdy, flat-soled and closed-in shoes are required," 368 00:17:06,320 --> 00:17:07,880 "and rain coats are recommended." 369 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,640 That sounds like they need a redesign, 370 00:17:10,680 --> 00:17:12,400 if you've got to wear a raincoat. Yeah. 371 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:13,760 Going on a log flume. 372 00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:24,200 Yeah. "Close your mouth!" 373 00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:30,160 The Dubbo Sewage Treatment Plant in New South Wales, 374 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:34,400 their open day includes "spectacular drone footage plus a free barbecue." 375 00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:36,600 As the man in charge said, "I would be surprised" 376 00:17:36,640 --> 00:17:39,480 "if we didn't have at least dozens of people through." 377 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:46,000 Now, what do vegetarian goatsuckers eat? 378 00:17:49,160 --> 00:17:51,680 Right, wow... Can you show that on television? 379 00:17:51,720 --> 00:17:54,640 I think that's taking vaping too far. 380 00:17:55,880 --> 00:17:57,600 Is that a goat bagpipe? 381 00:17:57,640 --> 00:17:59,600 It is a goat bagpipe. 382 00:17:59,640 --> 00:18:01,360 He's done something odd to his hair. 383 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:03,560 Yeah, his hair, that's the problem with that picture. 384 00:18:06,480 --> 00:18:09,120 So vegetarian goatsuckers, what do they eat? 385 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:10,960 He must eat the rest of the goat, surely, 386 00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,600 before it becomes his instrument? 387 00:18:12,640 --> 00:18:14,640 It's a vegetarian goatsucker. 388 00:18:14,680 --> 00:18:16,120 So... 389 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:17,880 Not goats. It's no use saying that. 390 00:18:17,920 --> 00:18:19,160 What's a goatsucker? 391 00:18:19,200 --> 00:18:22,200 It's a kind of bird, it's an order of birds called goatsuckers... Oh. 392 00:18:22,240 --> 00:18:23,480 ..and they were named 393 00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,200 because there was an ancient belief that they lived nocturnally 394 00:18:26,240 --> 00:18:27,960 sucking the milk from the teats of goats, 395 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,880 which sent them blind. Ooh, God! Ooh, hello. 396 00:18:29,920 --> 00:18:32,400 Feels like a fun-size owl. Well... 397 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:34,360 Like, if you're like, "Oh, I want to get an owl, 398 00:18:34,400 --> 00:18:35,920 "but I haven't got the space." Yeah. 399 00:18:37,400 --> 00:18:38,960 "I'll get one of these." 400 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:42,040 They're called oilbirds, also known as guacharo, 401 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,080 and they are the only vegetarian species of goatsuckers. 402 00:18:45,120 --> 00:18:46,520 Most goatsuckers eat insects. 403 00:18:46,560 --> 00:18:48,320 These oilbirds eat fruit. 404 00:18:48,360 --> 00:18:51,000 Sorry, you said that like it's like a huge surprise to us. 405 00:18:51,040 --> 00:18:52,680 What? We only just heard they existed, 406 00:18:52,720 --> 00:18:55,160 and you went, "These are the only ones that are vegetarians." 407 00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,840 Well, I've just found out. I mean, I literally couldn't care less. 408 00:18:59,040 --> 00:19:01,080 And I'm speaking on behalf of everyone in the room 409 00:19:01,120 --> 00:19:04,600 when I say, "No, really, these are the only vegetarian ones?!" 410 00:19:04,640 --> 00:19:06,080 "Wow, let's get this down." 411 00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:10,400 What are you talking about? You've lost your mind! 412 00:19:13,240 --> 00:19:15,800 They live in caves in the northern part of South America. 413 00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:18,560 Well, no wonder they're vegetarian - what is there to eat in there? 414 00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:21,320 Well, the thing about them is they get so fat 415 00:19:21,360 --> 00:19:25,360 from the fruit that they eat, that they become incredibly plump 416 00:19:25,400 --> 00:19:27,120 and there's an annual oil harvest, 417 00:19:27,160 --> 00:19:29,840 where people take the plump babies in their thousands, 418 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:32,240 the local people, and they render them for the oil. 419 00:19:32,280 --> 00:19:35,040 Because apparently it's excellent for fuel, and also for cooking. 420 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:36,600 Do they still suck the goats? 421 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:40,840 Nobody sucks goats, it's... There is no goat-sucking. 422 00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:43,280 How do you get the oil out of the bird? This is like a...! 423 00:19:43,320 --> 00:19:45,240 Well, you can render any bird for its fat. 424 00:19:45,280 --> 00:19:46,440 If you've ever cooked a duck, 425 00:19:46,480 --> 00:19:48,536 you can get an enormous amount of duck fat out of it. 426 00:19:48,560 --> 00:19:51,320 Imagine a world where I've never cooked a duck. OK. 427 00:19:51,360 --> 00:19:53,440 Imagine - I mean, it's... 428 00:19:55,480 --> 00:19:56,840 I mean, it's like... 429 00:19:56,880 --> 00:19:59,440 We're not really on the same wavelength here at all. 430 00:20:00,960 --> 00:20:02,200 But fat runs off a chicken. 431 00:20:02,240 --> 00:20:03,640 Have you cooked a bird of any kind? 432 00:20:03,680 --> 00:20:06,080 You'll have a drip tray. Yes. Yes, you have a drip tray. 433 00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:08,120 You've got one under your bed. Yeah. 434 00:20:16,960 --> 00:20:19,360 Do you remember when Sandi had a breakdown on television 435 00:20:19,400 --> 00:20:21,360 and she was talking about goatsuckers? 436 00:20:21,400 --> 00:20:23,920 And then we just gave up, we asked about three times, 437 00:20:23,960 --> 00:20:25,800 "What has this goat got to do with anything?" 438 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,760 and she just went, "Oh, it's a bird," 439 00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:30,160 and then she kept on talking about goats for ages, before, 440 00:20:30,200 --> 00:20:31,256 but then we just let it go. 441 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:33,120 You could look back on it as the tipping point, 442 00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:34,976 they say that was it, it was one show too many - 443 00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,280 and she explained to everyone, 444 00:20:36,320 --> 00:20:37,960 "It's the only vegetarian goatsucker," 445 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,760 "but it doesn't suck goats, doesn't do it," 446 00:20:39,800 --> 00:20:42,520 and she thought it made sense. Yeah, and then... and then she was... 447 00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,400 ..she was someone's mother-in-law, and then she ended up in an asylum. 448 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:48,760 And we went to visit her. Yeah. 449 00:20:48,800 --> 00:20:51,480 It was an ancient belief that they sucked 450 00:20:51,520 --> 00:20:54,720 the teats of goats for the milk, but they don't. 451 00:20:54,760 --> 00:20:58,400 Sometimes, in the old days, they got things wrong. 452 00:20:59,920 --> 00:21:01,360 I'd quite like to live in a cave. 453 00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:02,880 Would you 454 00:21:02,920 --> 00:21:05,200 I don't know, I always like being in a cave. 455 00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:10,360 Whenever I'm in a cave, I feel quite relaxed. 456 00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,680 This is the weirdest therapy session of all time. 457 00:21:13,720 --> 00:21:17,120 I went into some really big caves once, and it was great in there. 458 00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,720 I'd say whatever Sandi's got is catching. 459 00:21:26,080 --> 00:21:27,280 And do you know what? 460 00:21:27,320 --> 00:21:30,560 If my calculations are correct, I think the wind's blowing that way. 461 00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:33,200 I don't think Jason's got much hope. 462 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:34,720 But you talk about the things that - 463 00:21:34,760 --> 00:21:37,440 you say they're called goatsuckers and you don't believe me, 464 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,840 there are... Oh, we're back to this, are we? 465 00:21:39,880 --> 00:21:42,880 I mean, God bless Alan for taking one for the team, 466 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:46,400 but you really... Oh, yeah, no, back to the goatsuckers, yeah, 467 00:21:46,440 --> 00:21:49,520 let's pull this round, because this lot can't believe it. 468 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,800 That is a thing, but it's also known as an oilbird, 469 00:21:52,840 --> 00:21:55,600 but the type of bird it is is a goatsucker. 470 00:21:55,640 --> 00:21:57,520 That's just the - what they became called 471 00:21:57,560 --> 00:21:59,320 even though it isn't actually the... 472 00:21:59,360 --> 00:22:01,520 Hundreds, thousands of years ago somebody went, 473 00:22:01,560 --> 00:22:05,320 "I bet they suck the teats of goats." Yes, exactly. 474 00:22:05,360 --> 00:22:07,720 "Let's call them goatsuckers." Yes, and it stuck. 475 00:22:07,760 --> 00:22:09,640 Everyone else went, "But they don't do that." 476 00:22:09,680 --> 00:22:11,680 "I've named them now!" Yes. 477 00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:15,800 "OK? I've written it down in the bird book!" 478 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:20,200 It's like that joke, "You shag one sheep..." 479 00:22:20,240 --> 00:22:22,000 Yeah, exactly. 480 00:22:22,040 --> 00:22:25,240 One of them mistook a goat's nipple for a berry... 481 00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:29,080 ..and the whole species was named. 482 00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:31,320 Right, moving on. 483 00:22:31,360 --> 00:22:34,840 The oilbird is the only vegetarian goatsucker. 484 00:22:34,880 --> 00:22:37,440 It eats nothing but fruit. Right. 485 00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,560 Let us move on to the outer limits of knowledge, 486 00:22:39,600 --> 00:22:41,720 the odd world of General Ignorance. 487 00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,440 Fingers on buzzers, please. 488 00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:46,120 How many time zones are there in China? 489 00:22:46,160 --> 00:22:47,400 Ooh. 490 00:22:47,440 --> 00:22:49,600 Yes, Jimmy? 491 00:22:49,640 --> 00:22:50,800 One. 492 00:22:50,840 --> 00:22:53,240 Yes. Come on! You're absolutely right, one. 493 00:22:57,040 --> 00:23:00,040 So... No, no, no, don't even explain, let's just... 494 00:23:00,080 --> 00:23:01,760 Let's just enjoy that moment for a second. 495 00:23:01,800 --> 00:23:03,880 I mean, I've never got anything on this bloody show. 496 00:23:03,920 --> 00:23:06,680 You're absolutely right. It's one, actually. Why do you think that? 497 00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:09,320 Well, do you know what? That's not important. What matters is... 498 00:23:10,760 --> 00:23:12,840 ..there's one time zone in China. Yeah. 499 00:23:12,880 --> 00:23:14,760 You can take that to the bank. Yeah. 500 00:23:14,800 --> 00:23:17,120 I imagine the Communist Party decided what the time was 501 00:23:17,160 --> 00:23:19,160 and that was it. Yeah. You're absolutely right. 502 00:23:19,200 --> 00:23:20,600 So, given the size of the nation, 503 00:23:20,640 --> 00:23:23,240 you would think that it would be many different... At least four. 504 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,240 At least four - but it's always Beijing time, 505 00:23:25,280 --> 00:23:27,520 no matter where you are. So, if it is noon in Beijing, 506 00:23:27,560 --> 00:23:29,280 then 3,000 miles away, it is also noon. 507 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:30,920 It was standardised, time, in 1949, 508 00:23:30,960 --> 00:23:33,000 following the revolution and the civil war. 509 00:23:33,040 --> 00:23:35,880 Is there people in the middle of the night like forcing lunch down them? 510 00:23:35,920 --> 00:23:38,400 Yes. "Ooh, lunch time again." 511 00:23:38,440 --> 00:23:40,400 Yes. 512 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:42,720 In the summer, there are places where the sun sets 513 00:23:42,760 --> 00:23:44,800 in the middle of the night, and then in the winter 514 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:47,240 the sunrise might not come until ten o'clock in the morning. 515 00:23:47,280 --> 00:23:49,560 First adoption of standard time in Britain? 516 00:23:49,600 --> 00:23:51,920 Why did we adopt it? Was that wartime? 517 00:23:51,960 --> 00:23:54,320 No. 1847, so we're talking about the railways. 518 00:23:54,360 --> 00:23:57,040 It's because there's no point in having the railways 519 00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:58,600 if you're all on different times. Oh. 520 00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:01,120 You say that, but I don't know if you've used Southern Rail... 521 00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:06,200 GMT. You start to get it - 522 00:24:06,240 --> 00:24:08,800 1855, about 98% of the country is using it, 523 00:24:08,840 --> 00:24:11,800 and then it became Britain's legal time in 1880 - 524 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:13,720 but there were still places, 525 00:24:13,760 --> 00:24:16,800 some British clocks have got two minute hands, 526 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:18,520 so there is a still working public clock 527 00:24:18,560 --> 00:24:20,240 over the old Corn Exchange in Bristol, 528 00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,600 and it has a black minute hand for GMT 529 00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:26,360 and it has a red minute hand for what was known as Bristol Time, 530 00:24:26,400 --> 00:24:28,040 and it's ten minutes behind, 531 00:24:28,080 --> 00:24:29,520 and that clock is still working. 532 00:24:29,560 --> 00:24:30,960 Ten minutes behind! 533 00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:33,240 I've done some gigs in Bristol, that makes sense. Yeah. 534 00:24:34,320 --> 00:24:36,480 Sometimes they don't get it straight away. 535 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,600 I think they might be in. 536 00:24:42,720 --> 00:24:46,360 That reaction. What should I do if my child has got flat feet? 537 00:24:46,400 --> 00:24:48,560 Oh, store them on a flat surface. 538 00:24:50,560 --> 00:24:52,240 Why would I mind? 539 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,560 Ah, well, you're absolutely right, it doesn't matter. 540 00:24:54,600 --> 00:24:56,840 Nothing, nothing. It doesn't matter in the slightest. 541 00:24:56,880 --> 00:24:59,000 I've got very flat feet. Yes, it doesn't matter. 542 00:24:59,040 --> 00:25:00,360 I mean it doesn't matter to me. 543 00:25:00,400 --> 00:25:02,240 I don't give a damn about your feet. 544 00:25:02,280 --> 00:25:04,320 You've... You've really changed. 545 00:25:04,360 --> 00:25:06,280 You were super friendly earlier. 546 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:07,800 Why has it ever mattered? 547 00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,920 You used to be able to get out of military service. 548 00:25:09,960 --> 00:25:12,800 Yeah. Pike in Dad's Army - it was his feet, wasn't it? 549 00:25:12,840 --> 00:25:14,840 Yeah. That and his stupidity. 550 00:25:16,400 --> 00:25:18,240 It's an old wives' tale, and we have no idea 551 00:25:18,280 --> 00:25:20,680 why both the medical and the military establishment 552 00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:22,920 decided to adopt it as something that was important - 553 00:25:22,960 --> 00:25:25,160 and you could indeed be given exclusion from service 554 00:25:25,200 --> 00:25:27,040 in the Armed Forces because you had flat feet. 555 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:28,720 Not any more. Those are nice little feet. 556 00:25:28,760 --> 00:25:31,160 They're so... I love babies' feet. Mm. They're just so... 557 00:25:31,200 --> 00:25:33,400 Like little slices of rare roast beef. 558 00:25:34,760 --> 00:25:36,840 OK, that wasn't where I was going, but, yes. 559 00:25:38,400 --> 00:25:41,160 I've got a feeling the wind's blowing the other way now. 560 00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:45,800 It's really, it used to be seen as a disability. 561 00:25:45,840 --> 00:25:48,120 Some people thought it needed treatment, even surgery, 562 00:25:48,160 --> 00:25:50,520 but nowadays it's... That would feel like taking the piss, 563 00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:51,800 if you parked in a disabled bay 564 00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:53,160 and went, "Yeah, I've got..." 565 00:25:53,200 --> 00:25:55,480 Flat feet, mate. Flat feet. "I've got very flat feet." 566 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,480 What we think now is that feet just come in different shapes and sizes. 567 00:25:58,520 --> 00:25:59,920 That'll be it. Like ears and noses, 568 00:25:59,960 --> 00:26:02,240 they come - you know, there's no right or wrong. 569 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:04,480 It's possible that the whole concept of arched feet 570 00:26:04,520 --> 00:26:05,600 is just a cosmetic ideal. 571 00:26:05,640 --> 00:26:07,440 People thought it was rather beautiful. 572 00:26:07,480 --> 00:26:09,280 I don't really get the foot fetish thing. 573 00:26:09,320 --> 00:26:11,480 Do you not? Like, how did that start? 574 00:26:11,520 --> 00:26:13,480 Well, there was a goatsucker and... 575 00:26:19,920 --> 00:26:22,680 The best treatment for flat feet is no treatment at all. 576 00:26:22,720 --> 00:26:25,360 When a boa constrictor squeezes its prey, 577 00:26:25,400 --> 00:26:26,920 what is the cause of death? 578 00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:28,360 Oh, that's so horrible. 579 00:26:28,400 --> 00:26:29,480 No, snakes are brilliant. 580 00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:30,840 It'll be something creepy. 581 00:26:30,880 --> 00:26:33,640 Yeah. Snakes are real murderers. 582 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:36,560 Is the answer, you're beaten to death with a candlestick? 583 00:26:36,600 --> 00:26:39,640 Oh! In the library by the boa constrictor. 584 00:26:39,680 --> 00:26:42,600 They are the absolute Agatha Christie of killers. 585 00:26:42,640 --> 00:26:44,680 Do you know, I normally quite like snakes, 586 00:26:44,720 --> 00:26:47,200 but that one is just rude. Yeah. 587 00:26:47,240 --> 00:26:49,760 Don't they, don't they sort of trigger a heart attack? 588 00:26:49,800 --> 00:26:52,360 Yes, that is exactly right. Is that their thing? Yeah. Yeah. 589 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,320 It used to be thought that they squeezed so hard 590 00:26:54,360 --> 00:26:55,800 that the victim couldn't breathe, 591 00:26:55,840 --> 00:26:57,520 and that each time the prey exhaled, 592 00:26:57,560 --> 00:26:58,920 the snake would tighten its grip 593 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:00,520 until they couldn't breathe any more - 594 00:27:00,560 --> 00:27:01,920 but what they've now discovered 595 00:27:01,960 --> 00:27:04,040 is it's stopping the blood flow to the vital organs. 596 00:27:04,080 --> 00:27:05,240 They've done these studies 597 00:27:05,280 --> 00:27:07,320 to know how the snake knows when to stop squeezing. 598 00:27:07,360 --> 00:27:10,800 Dickinson College in Pennsylvania, they gave their boa constrictor 599 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:15,480 dead rats into which little robot hearts had been inserted. 600 00:27:15,520 --> 00:27:17,960 So, although the rat was dead, it still had a heartbeat, 601 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,880 and the snakes didn't relax their grip 602 00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:21,520 until they turned off the heartbeat. 603 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:24,560 They seemed to have the ability to work out, to monitor the heartbeat. 604 00:27:24,600 --> 00:27:27,600 They're like a, they're like a demon blood pressure cuff. 605 00:27:28,760 --> 00:27:30,400 Listen to the things people have done, 606 00:27:30,440 --> 00:27:31,840 you haven't even cooked a duck! 607 00:27:41,080 --> 00:27:45,080 That's told me! That's told me. 608 00:27:45,120 --> 00:27:46,800 Time to look at some odd numbers. 609 00:27:46,840 --> 00:27:49,080 It is the final scores - 610 00:27:49,120 --> 00:27:52,480 and our winner, with minus four, this is very exciting, 611 00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:54,120 is Victoria. 612 00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:55,160 Oh, fair play. 613 00:28:00,440 --> 00:28:03,320 In joint second place, with minus eight, 614 00:28:03,360 --> 00:28:04,840 it's Jason and Alan. 615 00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:07,040 Oh! That's good. 616 00:28:07,080 --> 00:28:09,240 We came second. 617 00:28:10,800 --> 00:28:12,400 I've never even cooked a duck! 618 00:28:12,440 --> 00:28:14,040 Or sucked a goat. 619 00:28:14,080 --> 00:28:15,080 In... 620 00:28:15,120 --> 00:28:16,120 Well... 621 00:28:18,120 --> 00:28:20,440 Too much information. I had a fabulous gap year, 622 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:21,800 I don't want to discuss it. 623 00:28:21,840 --> 00:28:25,040 With minus 23, last place goes to Jimmy! 624 00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:37,560 So, it's thanks to Victoria, Jimmy, Jason and Alan - 625 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,040 and we leave you with a memory of Winston Churchill, 626 00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,920 who was not only a great orator, but a great student of oratory. 627 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:44,960 He used to rehearse his speeches constantly 628 00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:46,160 to make them sound natural. 629 00:28:46,200 --> 00:28:48,000 He'd practise in the bath, for instance, 630 00:28:48,040 --> 00:28:50,720 and it's said that the first time his valet heard him doing this, 631 00:28:50,760 --> 00:28:52,520 he asked, "Were you speaking to me, sir?" 632 00:28:52,560 --> 00:28:55,120 "No," said Churchill, "I was addressing the House of Commons." 633 00:28:55,160 --> 00:28:56,160 Goodnight.