1 00:00:14,337 --> 00:00:16,480 I'm sorry to be a Cecil Spoilsport, 2 00:00:16,515 --> 00:00:19,480 but we can't ignore this bullying report any longer. 3 00:00:19,515 --> 00:00:22,480 Apparently it's a bit malum prohibitum. 4 00:00:22,515 --> 00:00:24,480 I got that Latin from Legally Blonde. 5 00:00:24,515 --> 00:00:26,480 Well, I really like that film. 6 00:00:26,515 --> 00:00:28,480 Shut up, you worthless tae-kwon-dickhead. 7 00:00:30,160 --> 00:00:33,480 - Who are they calling a bully? - I'm afraid it's you, Pritster. 8 00:00:33,515 --> 00:00:36,480 That's ridiculous. Does anyone here think I'm a bully? 9 00:00:39,480 --> 00:00:41,840 Hey, this is my safe space. 10 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,480 Get out from behind there, you snivelling worms. 11 00:00:44,515 --> 00:00:48,480 And as for you, you foreign succulent, you're deported. 12 00:00:48,515 --> 00:00:51,680 My best friend! Barnaby! 13 00:00:54,515 --> 00:00:56,480 Barnaby's fucked. 14 00:00:56,515 --> 00:01:00,160 I'm not reading any signs of proper bullying like we had at Eton. 15 00:01:00,195 --> 00:01:03,480 Pritster, did you use your private secretary's naked 16 00:01:03,515 --> 00:01:05,320 - buttocks as a toast rack? - No. 17 00:01:05,355 --> 00:01:07,480 Did you whack anyone's willy with a whiff-whaff wacquet? 18 00:01:07,515 --> 00:01:09,480 I didn't understand one word of that. 19 00:01:09,515 --> 00:01:11,480 Then we've got nothing to worry about. 20 00:01:11,515 --> 00:01:14,520 Unless... Good Lord, you didn't make Sir Philip eat the soggy biscuit? 21 00:01:14,555 --> 00:01:17,480 - No. - Well, then, case closed. 22 00:01:17,515 --> 00:01:19,480 Still, you should probably say something 23 00:01:19,515 --> 00:01:21,480 that sounds like an apology. 24 00:01:21,515 --> 00:01:24,480 I regret it if you weaklings found my directness 25 00:01:24,515 --> 00:01:27,160 and dedication difficult to handle. 26 00:01:27,195 --> 00:01:30,874 - You ripped my heart out of my body. - It was unintentional. 27 00:01:30,875 --> 00:01:33,480 There we are, harmless banter. 28 00:01:33,515 --> 00:01:36,480 Hey, everyone, let's all banter Hancock. 29 00:01:38,515 --> 00:01:42,480 Yay. I'm part of the gang. 30 00:01:45,480 --> 00:01:48,480 Mr President, it's time for the pardoning ceremony. 31 00:01:48,515 --> 00:01:52,480 Good idea. I made a short list of things to pardon myself for. 32 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:57,480 No, I meant the Thanksgiving turkey. 33 00:01:57,515 --> 00:02:00,520 Gotcha. I'm gonna pardon it so good, it's gonna be beautiful. 34 00:02:02,515 --> 00:02:04,480 Howdy doody, Mr President. 35 00:02:05,801 --> 00:02:08,480 A talking turkey, huh? College educated. 36 00:02:08,515 --> 00:02:09,514 Let's cut to the chase. 37 00:02:09,515 --> 00:02:12,480 If I pardon you, what do I get in return? 38 00:02:12,515 --> 00:02:14,480 Well, how about we pardon each other? 39 00:02:14,515 --> 00:02:17,160 You stay out of jail at Mar-a-Lago, 40 00:02:17,195 --> 00:02:19,480 I get a new identity as a Canada goose. 41 00:02:19,515 --> 00:02:22,480 Pardoned by a turkey, sounds legit. 42 00:02:22,515 --> 00:02:24,480 But I should check with my favourite mayor. 43 00:02:24,515 --> 00:02:26,480 Rudy Giuliani? 44 00:02:26,515 --> 00:02:29,480 I may be negotiating with a turkey, but I'm not crazy. 45 00:02:29,515 --> 00:02:31,480 I meant Mayor Cheeseburger. 46 00:02:31,515 --> 00:02:33,840 Last time I gave you advice, you ate me. 47 00:02:33,875 --> 00:02:36,160 It's your fault for being delicious. 48 00:02:36,195 --> 00:02:38,698 You want a deal? How about this, 49 00:02:38,733 --> 00:02:44,465 the turkey and me team up as the Republican ticket in 2024? 50 00:02:44,515 --> 00:02:46,480 A burger and a turkey? 51 00:02:46,515 --> 00:02:48,480 I'd never beat that, I won't allow it. 52 00:02:48,515 --> 00:02:51,480 In that case, we're eating you! 53 00:02:53,515 --> 00:02:55,520 Cut it out! You win! 54 00:02:55,555 --> 00:03:00,480 As long as I'm not hallucinating all of this, we've just conceded. 55 00:03:00,515 --> 00:03:02,480 Turkey, Mr Mayor, happy Thanksgiving. 56 00:03:05,515 --> 00:03:09,480 Huh. Once again, press gets it right. 57 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:14,480 Brad Pitt! O-M-fuzzypants-G! 58 00:03:14,515 --> 00:03:17,480 Harry Styles, I like your... dress? 59 00:03:17,515 --> 00:03:20,480 Hey, I'm a badass mother rock star, OK? 60 00:03:20,515 --> 00:03:24,480 This isn't a dress, it's a muumuu. It's Hawaiian. 61 00:03:24,515 --> 00:03:26,520 So's my pizza, but I wouldn't wear it with pearls. 62 00:03:26,555 --> 00:03:30,480 Oh, who am I kidding? I'm not a badass at all. 63 00:03:30,515 --> 00:03:32,480 David Attenborough said he'd kick me head in last week 64 00:03:32,515 --> 00:03:35,514 - and it got a million likes. - Jesus Christ. 65 00:03:35,515 --> 00:03:37,480 That's why I came to see you. 66 00:03:37,515 --> 00:03:39,480 I want everyone to know I'm hard. 67 00:03:39,515 --> 00:03:42,480 You're the most macho guy in the world. 68 00:03:42,515 --> 00:03:44,480 Please produce my next music video. 69 00:03:44,515 --> 00:03:47,480 You're on. I'll put some hair on your chest. 70 00:03:47,515 --> 00:03:49,480 Chest hair, what's that? 71 00:03:49,515 --> 00:03:52,480 Huh! You're like a gorilla's grandpa! 72 00:03:52,515 --> 00:03:54,480 I trim it for my topless shots. 73 00:03:54,515 --> 00:03:59,480 Now, let's make a video Guns N' Roses would be proud of. 74 00:03:59,515 --> 00:04:01,997 ♪ Watermelon sauce is fine ♪ 75 00:04:01,998 --> 00:04:04,480 ♪ Yummy like a glass of wine ♪ 76 00:04:04,515 --> 00:04:07,480 ♪ Yummy yummy yummy yum ♪ 77 00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:09,480 ♪ Tummy tummy tummy tum. ♪ 78 00:04:09,515 --> 00:04:13,480 Oh! Oh! I look like Jason Statham! 79 00:04:13,515 --> 00:04:14,514 What happened? 80 00:04:14,515 --> 00:04:16,827 I gave you a guitar to smash and you swapped it 81 00:04:16,909 --> 00:04:19,480 - for shooting bubbles. - I popped one, that's macho. 82 00:04:19,515 --> 00:04:21,480 Let's try again. 83 00:04:23,480 --> 00:04:25,480 ♪ Watermelon sauce is great ♪ 84 00:04:25,515 --> 00:04:28,480 ♪ Spit the seeds on your plate... ♪ 85 00:04:28,515 --> 00:04:32,000 Huh, putting in some Brad action usually does the trick. 86 00:04:32,035 --> 00:04:33,480 But you broke my twirly. 87 00:04:33,515 --> 00:04:35,680 Maybe you're not the right man for the job. 88 00:04:35,715 --> 00:04:37,480 Wait, wait, wait, I got it. 89 00:04:37,515 --> 00:04:39,480 Let's go up against the elements. 90 00:04:39,515 --> 00:04:41,480 You alone... 91 00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:44,520 the raging sea... a mythical beast. 92 00:04:44,555 --> 00:04:46,480 ♪ Watermelon sauce so yum ♪ 93 00:04:46,515 --> 00:04:50,480 ♪ Makes me tingly in my tum. ♪ 94 00:04:51,480 --> 00:04:54,480 - You nailed it, Brad. - I did? 95 00:04:54,515 --> 00:04:56,840 You can see my ink, my tats. 96 00:04:56,875 --> 00:05:00,480 Nothing says macho like a tummy tattoo of a butterfly. 97 00:05:00,515 --> 00:05:02,160 Oh! 98 00:05:02,195 --> 00:05:03,554 ♪ Watermelon sauce is fine. ♪ 99 00:05:03,755 --> 00:05:06,480 Hi, it's everyone's favourite Rishi, 100 00:05:06,515 --> 00:05:08,480 Rishi with the budget announcement. 101 00:05:08,515 --> 00:05:11,840 In a UK government first, I'm accompanied by an interpreter 102 00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:14,129 for the politically deaf. 103 00:05:15,180 --> 00:05:17,480 We have been borrowing, but there's no need for concern. 104 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,551 The outlook for growth is positive. Your jobs are safe, 105 00:05:22,586 --> 00:05:25,311 your homes are safe, your savings are safe. 106 00:05:26,915 --> 00:05:28,480 And you will have food on your table. 107 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:35,480 We're turning the corner and the future looks bright. 108 00:05:45,452 --> 00:05:48,314 Dad, it's me, Taylor. I'm home for the holidays 109 00:05:48,315 --> 00:05:51,280 on our family Christmas tree farm that I grew up on. 110 00:05:51,315 --> 00:05:54,280 True thing. Check Wikipedia. 111 00:05:54,315 --> 00:05:58,280 I just love the snow and the trees and our little tree elves. 112 00:05:58,315 --> 00:06:00,280 They're called migrant workers, Taylor. 113 00:06:00,315 --> 00:06:03,280 - Shoo! Shoo! - Come on, come on. 114 00:06:03,315 --> 00:06:05,297 People say I'm a fake because I'm 115 00:06:05,298 --> 00:06:07,280 always late jumping on social bandwagons, 116 00:06:07,315 --> 00:06:10,921 but here, I'm as real as my unicorn frappuccino. 117 00:06:11,995 --> 00:06:15,280 Well, enjoy the farm while you can cos it's going out of business. 118 00:06:15,315 --> 00:06:17,280 What?! 119 00:06:17,315 --> 00:06:20,280 Damn it, Bubba Scott, never tell her bad news when she's frappin'! 120 00:06:20,315 --> 00:06:22,280 No-one's buying trees. 121 00:06:22,315 --> 00:06:27,280 Thanks to the damn elitist liberati that declared war on Christmas. 122 00:06:27,315 --> 00:06:30,120 Careful, Dad, I'm an inclusive liberal 123 00:06:30,155 --> 00:06:32,280 since it tested well in my demographics. 124 00:06:32,315 --> 00:06:35,280 - Look! - 'My fellow Americans, everyone knows 125 00:06:35,315 --> 00:06:37,280 'I'm the greatest man that ever walked the Earth. 126 00:06:37,315 --> 00:06:41,280 'Now it's time to put up a monument to number two, little baby Jesus. 127 00:06:41,315 --> 00:06:43,280 'I will pay $10 million 128 00:06:43,315 --> 00:06:45,960 'for the biggest White House Christmas tree ever 129 00:06:45,995 --> 00:06:48,280 'but it has to be huge, really huge, huger than my...' 130 00:06:48,315 --> 00:06:51,280 - Yeah, we know. - That's it. 131 00:06:51,315 --> 00:06:53,280 Dad, what's our tallest tree? 132 00:06:53,315 --> 00:06:56,280 An Ol' General Hancock, cranky Scotch pine. 133 00:06:56,315 --> 00:07:01,277 - But he's not "huge". - We have four weeks, enough time 134 00:07:01,312 --> 00:07:04,280 to grow General Hancock tall enough and save the farm. 135 00:07:04,315 --> 00:07:07,021 It'll be a Christmas miracle. 136 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:13,800 - Shoo! - Come on, get out of here. 137 00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:17,280 Well, that steak was delicious. 138 00:07:17,315 --> 00:07:20,280 Now, what to have for dessert. 139 00:07:20,315 --> 00:07:22,922 - You should have the steak. - But I just got a steak. 140 00:07:23,087 --> 00:07:26,410 So, clearly, you like it. So I recommend you reorder it. 141 00:07:26,445 --> 00:07:28,410 People who buy steak also buy bacon, 142 00:07:28,445 --> 00:07:30,410 phone chargers and lawn fertiliser. 143 00:07:30,445 --> 00:07:32,410 - This is weird. - I'm sorry. 144 00:07:32,445 --> 00:07:34,410 I'm tense because... 145 00:07:35,410 --> 00:07:37,410 OK, will you marry me? 146 00:07:48,410 --> 00:07:52,005 Oh! It's a sapphire! My favourite. 147 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:55,610 - And it fits perfectly. - I had Alexa scan your body 148 00:07:55,645 --> 00:07:59,410 then cross-reference our database of four billion customers 149 00:07:59,445 --> 00:08:01,410 to match size, weight and stone preference. 150 00:08:01,445 --> 00:08:05,410 - You had Alexa scan my body? - Breasts first. 151 00:08:05,445 --> 00:08:07,410 That is creepy and invasive. 152 00:08:07,445 --> 00:08:10,410 Creepy and invasive is how I make people happy. 153 00:08:10,445 --> 00:08:12,410 Well... it is a nice ring 154 00:08:12,445 --> 00:08:15,770 and you are the richest man on Earth. 155 00:08:15,805 --> 00:08:17,410 OK, back to dessert. 156 00:08:17,445 --> 00:08:20,090 You should get the bran muffin. You're constipated. 157 00:08:20,125 --> 00:08:23,410 - How do you know that? - Alexa smells your farts. 158 00:08:25,410 --> 00:08:28,410 Folks, the presidential transition is finally underway. 159 00:08:28,445 --> 00:08:30,927 I picked my Secretary of State, 160 00:08:30,928 --> 00:08:32,945 my Secretary of the Treasury... 161 00:08:32,983 --> 00:08:35,410 Adele, are you singing at the inauguration? 162 00:08:35,445 --> 00:08:38,770 Ha! No, mate. I'm the Secretary of Defence. 163 00:08:38,805 --> 00:08:44,090 - ♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa! ♪ - That's gonna shake 'em up in Iran. 164 00:08:44,125 --> 00:08:47,410 It's great to have a responsible, law-abiding President in office. 165 00:08:47,445 --> 00:08:50,410 Can I give you a tip? You can't go wrong with drone strikes. 166 00:08:50,445 --> 00:08:52,410 Zip, boom, bang, no questions asked. 167 00:08:52,445 --> 00:08:55,804 - Could you write that down for me? - I already did... 168 00:08:55,805 --> 00:08:59,410 in A Promised Land, about an administration 169 00:08:59,445 --> 00:09:01,450 where character and integrity really counted. 170 00:09:01,485 --> 00:09:02,655 $45 in finer book stores. 171 00:09:02,656 --> 00:09:05,761 - Who wants an autographed copy? - I'm cool. 172 00:09:05,796 --> 00:09:08,410 I said, who wants my support in the next election? 173 00:09:08,445 --> 00:09:12,410 - I'll take a copy. - 50 bucks, $5 shipping. 174 00:09:12,445 --> 00:09:14,410 ♪ Whoa, whoa! ♪ 175 00:09:14,445 --> 00:09:16,410 Save it for the Taliban, Adele. 176 00:09:16,445 --> 00:09:18,610 Now to make the toughest choice of all, 177 00:09:18,645 --> 00:09:22,410 one that will impact all Americans every single day. 178 00:09:22,445 --> 00:09:25,644 - Attorney General? - The new host of Jeopardy. 179 00:09:25,645 --> 00:09:28,250 - Ooh, yikes. - Whoa! 180 00:09:28,285 --> 00:09:30,410 What is "glad I'm not president"? 181 00:09:30,445 --> 00:09:32,930 Now, who's ready to pre-order Volume Two? 182 00:09:32,965 --> 00:09:35,410 - Er... - OK. - Yeah. 183 00:09:39,710 --> 00:09:41,444 Good Old General Hancock. 184 00:09:41,445 --> 00:09:43,450 I grew up playing on your branches. 185 00:09:43,485 --> 00:09:45,450 Here's something to help you grow, 186 00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:50,580 - hush puppies and magnolia tea. - Very Nashville 187 00:09:50,615 --> 00:09:53,410 considering you actually grew up in Philadelphia. 188 00:09:53,445 --> 00:09:54,804 Yes, but market research shows 189 00:09:54,805 --> 00:09:57,410 that people prefer my fake Southern roots. 190 00:09:57,445 --> 00:09:59,090 Taylor, this tree already growed a foot 191 00:09:59,125 --> 00:10:00,444 or I'm in short skirts. 192 00:10:00,445 --> 00:10:03,410 But you can't stop now. I hear even foreigners are trying 193 00:10:03,445 --> 00:10:06,410 to win this Christmas tree contest. 194 00:10:08,410 --> 00:10:10,410 Once I produce the world's biggest Christmas tree, 195 00:10:10,445 --> 00:10:14,410 the world will finally stop saying I look like Pooh Bear. 196 00:10:16,090 --> 00:10:18,090 Oh, bother. 197 00:10:18,125 --> 00:10:20,450 How is our giant Christmas tree coming? 198 00:10:20,485 --> 00:10:23,410 Did you inject it with tree growth hormone? 199 00:10:23,445 --> 00:10:26,410 We got mixed up and injected it with human growth hormone. 200 00:10:26,445 --> 00:10:29,770 W-W-What did you do with the tree growth hormone? 201 00:10:29,805 --> 00:10:32,410 We gave it to our Olympic swimming team. 202 00:10:36,110 --> 00:10:38,770 Goodbye, Lee, off to my college classes. 203 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:41,410 Oh, right, er... see you later. 204 00:10:41,445 --> 00:10:44,410 Lee, when will you be going back to work? 205 00:10:44,445 --> 00:10:48,460 Well, I don't know if I will. I mean, obviously I want to, 206 00:10:48,476 --> 00:10:50,444 but I'll probably just work from home. 207 00:10:50,445 --> 00:10:53,447 - You're a roofer. - Yeah, but it's amazing what 208 00:10:53,448 --> 00:10:55,410 you can do on all these video calls. 209 00:10:55,445 --> 00:10:58,090 I mean, it's not like I'm planning to lie on the sofa 210 00:10:58,125 --> 00:11:00,410 watching The Dam Busters on Channel 5 at five past two. 211 00:11:00,445 --> 00:11:02,410 That's very reassuring. 212 00:11:02,445 --> 00:11:05,410 Yeah, and being at home's better for the environment. 213 00:11:05,445 --> 00:11:07,410 Think of all the emissions from my van. 214 00:11:07,445 --> 00:11:09,410 If I'm here watching The Dam Busters, 215 00:11:09,445 --> 00:11:13,250 I-I-I mean, working from home, there's none of that. 216 00:11:13,285 --> 00:11:15,410 Oh, that's a very good point. 217 00:11:15,445 --> 00:11:17,410 - I will stay home too. - What? 218 00:11:17,445 --> 00:11:21,410 Instead of taking a bus, I can do my lessons on Zoom. 219 00:11:21,445 --> 00:11:23,410 Then we can both help the environment 220 00:11:23,445 --> 00:11:25,410 and we can have lunch together 221 00:11:25,445 --> 00:11:29,669 - and worry about the melting ice caps. - Lovely. 222 00:11:30,410 --> 00:11:32,930 Your tea, sir. Extra weak. 223 00:11:32,965 --> 00:11:34,410 A quiet night? 224 00:11:34,445 --> 00:11:36,410 No, Aneurin. 225 00:11:36,445 --> 00:11:39,410 With the heightened senses of the Fox, I smell trouble. 226 00:11:39,445 --> 00:11:41,410 Or possibly some spoilt cat food. 227 00:11:41,445 --> 00:11:44,930 Either way, Foxman is on the prowl. 228 00:11:44,965 --> 00:11:46,410 I'll brush up the fox tail. 229 00:11:46,445 --> 00:11:49,610 Batman watches over Gotham from the bat's high perch, 230 00:11:49,645 --> 00:11:53,410 I shall guard London from the Fox's lair. 231 00:12:04,445 --> 00:12:07,410 This robbery is over. 232 00:12:08,410 --> 00:12:12,410 Oh, my God, it's my fiscally irresponsible nemesis, The Borrower. 233 00:12:12,445 --> 00:12:13,444 Foxman! 234 00:12:13,445 --> 00:12:17,410 You have contravened Section 81 of the 1968 Theft Act. 235 00:12:17,445 --> 00:12:19,410 Hand over the money, Borrower. 236 00:12:19,445 --> 00:12:22,410 That's exactly what I'm gonna do, hand it out... 237 00:12:22,445 --> 00:12:23,444 for the next furlough. 238 00:12:23,445 --> 00:12:26,410 You see, we're very alike, you and I. 239 00:12:26,445 --> 00:12:28,861 You mean, we both have nice, thick heads of hair? 240 00:12:28,896 --> 00:12:31,410 And we both want to help the common man. 241 00:12:31,445 --> 00:12:33,847 I see. Are you sure this money isn't 242 00:12:33,848 --> 00:12:36,444 going on a crowd-pleasing boost to defence spending? 243 00:12:36,445 --> 00:12:39,410 Well, obviously we have to take national security 244 00:12:39,445 --> 00:12:41,804 - into consideration. - I knew it! 245 00:12:41,805 --> 00:12:44,930 Your days of running up an eye-watering deficit are over. 246 00:12:44,965 --> 00:12:46,410 With these handcuffs, 247 00:12:46,445 --> 00:12:48,410 which I use under the reasonable force guidelines, 248 00:12:48,445 --> 00:12:51,410 as set out in the Police Act of 1972, 249 00:12:51,445 --> 00:12:55,753 I will see that you... Oh. Oh. 250 00:12:56,011 --> 00:12:59,930 You are a cunning foe, Borrower. But I will track you down. 251 00:12:59,965 --> 00:13:03,450 If not tonight, then during regular Parliamentary Question Time. 252 00:13:05,550 --> 00:13:10,550 Foxman is bold, but he reckons without his true enemy... 253 00:13:10,585 --> 00:13:12,550 The Joke. 254 00:13:17,585 --> 00:13:19,550 You know you've got stuff all over your face, right? 255 00:13:19,585 --> 00:13:21,550 Yes, I fell into my pudding. 256 00:13:21,585 --> 00:13:24,244 Yumminess maximus. 257 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:29,440 I hate this film, The Dam Busters. 258 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,440 They are destroying hydroelectric facilities 259 00:13:32,475 --> 00:13:34,440 that produce clean, emission-free power. 260 00:13:34,475 --> 00:13:36,440 Yeah, you said. Shall we just watch it? 261 00:13:36,475 --> 00:13:38,960 And there is exactly one woman. 262 00:13:38,995 --> 00:13:41,280 Actually, I think I will go back to work. 263 00:13:41,315 --> 00:13:45,440 Oh, no, you will stay here and take notes 264 00:13:45,475 --> 00:13:48,440 and then we will go picket the producer's house. 265 00:13:48,475 --> 00:13:50,440 - You know what, Greta? - What? 266 00:13:51,697 --> 00:13:53,053 You're amazing. 267 00:14:03,440 --> 00:14:07,440 Why, if it isn't some practically perfect billionaires. 268 00:14:07,475 --> 00:14:09,440 And Richard Branson. 269 00:14:09,475 --> 00:14:12,800 We realised that New Zealand is the safest place on Earth. 270 00:14:12,835 --> 00:14:15,440 And it's easier to get to than Mars. 271 00:14:15,475 --> 00:14:18,440 - Just. - I'll buy the North Island. 272 00:14:18,475 --> 00:14:19,474 I'll buy the South Island. 273 00:14:19,475 --> 00:14:21,440 And I'll buy whatever is in between. 274 00:14:21,475 --> 00:14:24,440 Well, we're happy to have you for the holidays 275 00:14:24,475 --> 00:14:27,440 as long as you sing. 276 00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:32,440 ♪ It's a jolly Christmas with Jacinda ♪ 277 00:14:32,475 --> 00:14:36,440 ♪ New Zealand is so very far away ♪ 278 00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:40,440 ♪ We aren't very fond of immigration ♪ 279 00:14:40,475 --> 00:14:44,440 ♪ But if you've got a billion You can stay ♪ 280 00:14:44,475 --> 00:14:48,440 ♪ Everybody here is really happy ♪ 281 00:14:48,475 --> 00:14:52,440 ♪ Everybody does as they are told ♪ 282 00:14:52,475 --> 00:14:56,440 ♪ It's a jolly Christmas With Jacinda ♪ 283 00:14:56,475 --> 00:15:00,440 ♪ It's summer But it's really fucking cold. ♪ 284 00:15:00,475 --> 00:15:04,440 But, Jacinda, Elon Musk tested positive for coronavirus. 285 00:15:04,475 --> 00:15:08,337 We can't have anyone complaining about that. 286 00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:15,474 Once upon a time, 287 00:15:15,475 --> 00:15:19,440 a mother and her son lived on a farm in the country. 288 00:15:19,475 --> 00:15:22,440 Jack, what happened to our cow? 289 00:15:22,475 --> 00:15:25,440 I set her free, Mother. I've decided I'm vegan. 290 00:15:25,475 --> 00:15:27,440 Oh, but what will I eat? 291 00:15:27,475 --> 00:15:30,440 I need healthy red meat for my anaemia. 292 00:15:30,475 --> 00:15:31,674 I've got soy beans. 293 00:15:31,675 --> 00:15:34,440 They'll supply all the protein and nutrients you need. 294 00:15:34,475 --> 00:15:38,640 - It's practically magic. - Oh! Oh, no! 295 00:15:38,675 --> 00:15:42,120 Jack was right, those beans were magic 296 00:15:42,155 --> 00:15:44,640 and they grew a giant beanstalk 297 00:15:44,675 --> 00:15:47,440 right to a foreign country full of giants. 298 00:15:47,475 --> 00:15:51,280 Fee-fi-fo funtry, 299 00:15:51,315 --> 00:15:55,440 I'm going to live in your country. 300 00:15:55,475 --> 00:15:57,440 Jack, get my shotgun! 301 00:15:57,475 --> 00:16:01,280 I gave that away too. I'm opposed to self-protection. 302 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:10,440 Don't let anyone take away your beef and guns! 303 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:16,640 Movie celebrities, we need your help. 304 00:16:16,675 --> 00:16:19,440 This year, the Oscars have a problem. 305 00:16:19,475 --> 00:16:23,440 - No Black film makers? - No vagina film makers. Vagina. 306 00:16:23,475 --> 00:16:27,440 - Worse, no movies. - Well, there was one movie... Tenet. 307 00:16:27,475 --> 00:16:29,440 Yeah, but nobody made it to the end. 308 00:16:29,475 --> 00:16:31,640 Hey, this is an opportunity. 309 00:16:31,675 --> 00:16:34,440 Why not throw the Oscars open to anything. 310 00:16:34,475 --> 00:16:36,425 Any video shot by a celebrity. 311 00:16:36,425 --> 00:16:37,474 - I like it. Genius. - Yeah. 312 00:16:37,475 --> 00:16:40,457 Or you could just admit that the Oscars 313 00:16:40,458 --> 00:16:44,474 are a giant hypefest that nobody cares about and cancel them. 314 00:16:44,475 --> 00:16:47,440 Kevin, what did I say about being negative? 315 00:16:47,475 --> 00:16:50,120 Don't you put me in a cooler! No! 316 00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:58,440 I don't know how, Taylor, but you did it. 317 00:16:58,475 --> 00:17:02,440 General Hancock is big enough to win the Christmas tree contest. 318 00:17:02,475 --> 00:17:06,440 You ready to murder a tree, Dick Chainy?! 319 00:17:08,315 --> 00:17:09,514 It's time to cut him down? 320 00:17:09,515 --> 00:17:13,440 Oh! I never thought this day would come. 321 00:17:13,475 --> 00:17:16,440 I... I kind of fell in love with him. 322 00:17:16,475 --> 00:17:20,342 Oh, sweetie, you got a tender heart. 323 00:17:20,377 --> 00:17:23,440 Grab some goggles, it's gonna be flying tree guts! 324 00:17:23,475 --> 00:17:26,440 Can I have a moment to say goodbye? 325 00:17:26,475 --> 00:17:29,440 Well, sure, but tick-tock. 326 00:17:29,475 --> 00:17:32,440 ♪ Lost little girl Taking her chances ♪ 327 00:17:32,475 --> 00:17:35,440 ♪ Searching for roots Got caught in your branches ♪ 328 00:17:35,475 --> 00:17:38,440 ♪ I packed my trunk Went out on a limb ♪ 329 00:17:38,475 --> 00:17:41,800 ♪ Now I must give you The ultimate trim ♪ 330 00:17:43,440 --> 00:17:45,440 ♪ Christmas trim ♪ 331 00:17:45,475 --> 00:17:49,120 ♪ I wanna be strong Don't wanna be sappy ♪ 332 00:17:49,155 --> 00:17:52,440 ♪ But your car freshener smell Makes me so happy ♪ 333 00:17:52,475 --> 00:17:55,440 ♪ When you needle me You're all bark and no bite ♪ 334 00:17:55,475 --> 00:17:58,440 - ♪ And now I must say ♪ - ♪ Woo-oo-oo ♪ 335 00:17:58,475 --> 00:18:02,280 - ♪ The final good... ♪ - ♪ Woo-oo-oo ♪ 336 00:18:02,315 --> 00:18:04,440 Oh, God, just fucking kill me already. 337 00:18:04,475 --> 00:18:07,440 - What? - I hate your terrible music. 338 00:18:09,960 --> 00:18:11,440 Oh, hell no! 339 00:18:13,475 --> 00:18:17,440 Hurry, I can still hear it in my brain. 340 00:18:18,440 --> 00:18:21,800 The prize for biggest tree goes to Taylor Swift 341 00:18:21,835 --> 00:18:24,800 who, by the way, is a big loser who hates me. 342 00:18:24,835 --> 00:18:28,440 I saved the farm and learned a wonderful Christmas lesson. 343 00:18:28,475 --> 00:18:31,440 If someone disses you, slice him through the brain 344 00:18:31,475 --> 00:18:33,120 and write a hella good song. 345 00:18:34,440 --> 00:18:37,440 ♪ If the tree is gonna throw Shade, shade, shade, shade ♪ 346 00:18:37,475 --> 00:18:40,440 ♪ I'm just gonna Cut, cut, cut, cut, cut ♪ 347 00:18:40,475 --> 00:18:43,800 ♪ Cut it down Cut it down. ♪ 348 00:18:43,835 --> 00:18:46,440 I'm dead and it still hurts! 349 00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:54,480 That'll be my new wig. 350 00:18:54,515 --> 00:18:57,440 Fantastic. Leave it there and fuck off. 351 00:18:57,475 --> 00:18:59,440 - Elton. - Shut up, David! 352 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:06,440 You can put the VAT return forward into the next quarter... 353 00:19:06,475 --> 00:19:10,440 Colin? Colin? You've frozen, mate. 354 00:19:10,475 --> 00:19:12,440 Double-O sod it! 355 00:19:15,440 --> 00:19:18,440 And so the dark night continues 356 00:19:18,475 --> 00:19:20,440 with no sign of activity 357 00:19:20,475 --> 00:19:23,440 on the security camera in my back garden. 358 00:19:23,475 --> 00:19:26,480 Wait, it looks like possibly a cat or fox. 359 00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:32,440 No, it's nothing. Will something fucking happen! 360 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:41,120 Kim, I dropped my damn phone down the toilet. 361 00:19:41,155 --> 00:19:43,440 And the Oscar goes to... 362 00:19:43,475 --> 00:19:46,555 Oh, vagina. ...Tenet. 363 00:19:47,440 --> 00:19:51,268 And now, a moment of silence for James Corden. 364 00:19:59,280 --> 00:20:00,474 Oh, amazing. 365 00:20:00,475 --> 00:20:03,440 What an honour! 366 00:20:03,475 --> 00:20:06,120 So touching. Amazing! 367 00:20:10,475 --> 00:20:13,440 All right, we got 15 minutes to clear out the White House 368 00:20:13,475 --> 00:20:14,474 before Biden moves in. 369 00:20:14,475 --> 00:20:17,440 Take anything that's not nailed down. 370 00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:21,440 This copper will fetch a pretty penny at the Chinese market. 371 00:20:21,475 --> 00:20:26,440 Mr President, the used car dealer, you have a car for sale? 372 00:20:27,440 --> 00:20:29,440 Right, the presidential limo. 373 00:20:29,475 --> 00:20:32,440 - She's a sweet ride. - $1,500? 374 00:20:32,475 --> 00:20:36,440 Make it $1,200. That's called "the art of the deal". 375 00:20:36,475 --> 00:20:39,474 - Biden's on his way. - All right, everybody out! 376 00:20:39,475 --> 00:20:42,463 I've left a surprise for little old Joe, 377 00:20:42,519 --> 00:20:45,440 some smart, very smart, stable genius booby traps. 378 00:20:45,475 --> 00:20:48,440 It's been an honour serving you, sir. 379 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,120 I'm the best thing that ever happened to you, baby. 380 00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:01,440 Crap, I still need to leave my presidential goodbye letter. 381 00:21:01,475 --> 00:21:03,440 I wrote it in stink ink. 382 00:21:04,960 --> 00:21:07,440 Ooh! Right! My booby trap! 383 00:21:11,640 --> 00:21:13,440 Hey, I paid for four! 384 00:21:14,440 --> 00:21:16,440 I gotta get out of here. 385 00:21:26,640 --> 00:21:29,440 I hope you like purple nurples, Biden. 386 00:21:29,475 --> 00:21:31,440 Ow! Ow! 387 00:21:31,475 --> 00:21:33,440 Ow! It's me, you idiot! 388 00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:36,440 Well, at least that was the last one. 389 00:21:36,475 --> 00:21:39,440 Hello. Anyone home? 390 00:21:39,475 --> 00:21:41,440 Help, I'm trapped in a bucket! 391 00:21:41,475 --> 00:21:43,440 - I've been there. - Help! 392 00:21:44,570 --> 00:21:46,570 Good day, I'm Prince Andrew. 393 00:21:46,605 --> 00:21:49,570 The producers of Spitting Image have asked me down to the studios 394 00:21:49,605 --> 00:21:51,570 so they can personally apologise 395 00:21:51,605 --> 00:21:54,570 for any mistreatment I received at the hands of the show. 396 00:21:54,605 --> 00:21:56,570 And they jolly well should. 397 00:21:56,605 --> 00:21:57,604 "Sorry..." they said 398 00:21:57,605 --> 00:22:01,570 "..for what happened in episodes one, five, seven and, of course, 399 00:22:01,605 --> 00:22:03,570 for the very last moment of the series." 400 00:22:04,170 --> 00:22:05,870 Last moment of the series? 401 00:22:05,871 --> 00:22:08,676 Now, what can that mean... Ooh!