1
00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:42,720
Ho! Mr Gillespie...

2
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:45,320
A word in your ear.

3
00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:47,840
'Look at that shite!

4
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,880
'Every week!

5
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:55,720
'That's what 25 quid gets you -
own-brand crap.

6
00:01:02,880 --> 00:01:06,560
'Whit in the name of Christ
is forced meat?

7
00:01:06,560 --> 00:01:09,080
'Forced tae dae whit?!

8
00:01:09,080 --> 00:01:11,840
'Forced into the can, I suppose.

9
00:01:13,680 --> 00:01:16,520
'Right, biccy.

10
00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:21,240
'Custard creams.
Whit's Econo-Save calling them?

11
00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:24,080
'Ooh! Custard Smoothies.

12
00:01:25,600 --> 00:01:28,040
'Right.

13
00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:32,800
'Aw!

14
00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:38,840
'Oh, a whole one. Smashing.'
DOORBELL RINGS

15
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:51,240
Mornin', Jack boy! Aye, mornin',
Victor. What are you all about?

16
00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:55,080
You gonnae leave me standing here?
Er, no. Come in.

17
00:01:56,120 --> 00:02:01,160
Grab two tumblers out the sideboard,
my man. At this time in the morning?

18
00:02:01,160 --> 00:02:04,399
Have you banged your heid?!
Have you took a fall?

19
00:02:04,424 --> 00:02:07,144
In a manner of speakin', aye.
A windfall!

20
00:02:11,960 --> 00:02:16,000
I see the hamper has arrived
from Fortnum & Mason(!)

21
00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:19,840
Shut up. Right.
What's all this about the windfall?

22
00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,880
I'll tell you, Jack,
but get your gums round this.

23
00:02:34,400 --> 00:02:38,240
(Oh!) Oh!
That's the bollocks. What's that?

24
00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:42,760
Oporto reserve. 14-year-old.
The Rolls-Royce of ports.

25
00:02:42,760 --> 00:02:45,280
Whit d'you pay for that? 28 quid.

26
00:02:45,280 --> 00:02:48,800
28 pound?!
You lost the bloody place?!

27
00:02:48,800 --> 00:02:51,240
Whit's goin' on?

28
00:02:51,240 --> 00:02:57,280
Oh, aye. You've got cancer. You've caught
the big casino. You're goin' out in style.

29
00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:01,920
No, I've no' got cancer.
Whit's it all aboot?

30
00:03:01,920 --> 00:03:04,440
See this? Kept me up all night.

31
00:03:04,440 --> 00:03:09,480
When I reveal its contents, we could
be washing our feet in this stuff.

32
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:12,000
Right. Show me. Take a seat.

33
00:03:15,360 --> 00:03:17,000
Now...

34
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:22,040
Every week, when we get our pension,
we religiously put a wee bit back.

35
00:03:22,040 --> 00:03:24,680
That's right. To bury us. Mm-hm.

36
00:03:24,680 --> 00:03:28,051
Much do you reckon we have in there?
I wouldnae know.

37
00:03:28,076 --> 00:03:31,360
It's a while since I've looked.
Well, I'll tell you.

38
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:33,400
£1,050.

39
00:03:33,400 --> 00:03:37,440
£1,050.
We've a wee bit to go, then.

40
00:03:37,440 --> 00:03:41,447
A wee bit to go?! We, my friend,
have overshot the runway.

41
00:03:41,472 --> 00:03:43,960
We're in the land
of milk and honey.

42
00:03:43,960 --> 00:03:48,560
How? Because it's cheaper
than we thought for a funeral.

43
00:03:48,560 --> 00:03:53,800
No, no, that's wrong. A funeral's a
dear thing. That's what I thought.

44
00:03:53,800 --> 00:04:00,320
I called the Co-op. Now... A good funeral
would set you back about 1,500 quid. Mm-hm?

45
00:04:00,320 --> 00:04:05,240
But a no-frills cremation...
Cheery-bye! ...different story.

46
00:04:06,200 --> 00:04:07,720
Nah.

47
00:04:07,720 --> 00:04:10,240
It's all here.

48
00:04:10,240 --> 00:04:12,760
Where are we? Where are we?

49
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:14,680
Ah.

50
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:17,360
Pine. That's your key. Mm-hm?

51
00:04:17,360 --> 00:04:23,800
No mahogany, no silver, no brass, no silk.
Whit a saving you're makin'!

52
00:04:23,800 --> 00:04:28,920
Then you do away wi' the big fancy
urn. That's another massive savin'.

53
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:32,960
What do you do wi' the ashes?
I don't know. Scatter them.

54
00:04:32,960 --> 00:04:37,000
The garden of remembrance.
Who cares?! You're deid!

55
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:42,040
Keep talkin'. A funeral cortege
is a hearse and one car following.

56
00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:46,960
I'm sad to say, but we don't need
that following car. Who'd follow?

57
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:49,535
Winston? Eric? Bobby the Barman?

58
00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:53,640
Aye, that's right. They
can away and bloody walk!

59
00:04:53,640 --> 00:04:58,800
That's another savin'. Exactly.
Whit's the whole thing costing now?

60
00:04:58,800 --> 00:05:01,320
£750.

61
00:05:01,320 --> 00:05:05,840
Leaving the both of us
with a balance of £300.

62
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:08,360
Free money! Yeah!

63
00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:11,400
HE LAUGHS

64
00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:16,280
May I? Oh, allow me.

65
00:05:16,280 --> 00:05:18,960
300 quid?! Can you believe that?

66
00:05:21,640 --> 00:05:25,160
It'd be good to play
a good quality course.

67
00:05:25,160 --> 00:05:29,000
How d'you mean?
Oot the road, you old dicks!

68
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:34,080
Aye, I see whit you mean. You'd get
a more peaceful game in Chechnya.

69
00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:39,160
THEY LAUGH AND CHATTER

70
00:05:40,400 --> 00:05:42,440
Ahem.

71
00:05:42,440 --> 00:05:46,560
Just play your way through, mate.
We're just waitin' here.

72
00:05:46,560 --> 00:05:51,000
It's a Gleneagles garden party.
Whit's that, mate?! Nothin'.

73
00:05:57,480 --> 00:06:00,160
Nice. Aye, that'll dae.

74
00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,200
Nice shot, Tam.

75
00:06:12,200 --> 00:06:15,400
Jesus! Whit d'you make of that?!

76
00:06:18,480 --> 00:06:22,920
Oh, it's gonnae be
a links course now, is it?

77
00:06:22,920 --> 00:06:24,920
THUD!
Ow!

78
00:06:31,640 --> 00:06:36,680
Jeez-o, Jack. A couple of ports
and Craiglang looks presentable.

79
00:06:36,680 --> 00:06:39,392
Are you jokin'? You'd
need tae be on crack

80
00:06:39,397 --> 00:06:42,700
tae make this shitehole look presentable.
Hello, Isa.

81
00:06:42,720 --> 00:06:46,960
Jack, Victor, I meant to say...
That's plenty.

82
00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:50,640
Excuse me, gentlemen.

83
00:06:50,640 --> 00:06:54,800
What is it? I've seen youse about.
We've never actually spoke...

84
00:06:54,800 --> 00:07:00,680
Keep movin', Victor. Just, er...wondered
if you needed anything, you know?

85
00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:05,000
Such as? A wee bit
of financial assistance maybe.

86
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:09,040
We're no wi' you. Cannae be easy
bein' a pensioner - gas bills,

87
00:07:09,040 --> 00:07:12,640
'leccy, TV licence...
I could help you wi' that.

88
00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,772
Sounds smashin'.
You lend us money

89
00:07:14,777 --> 00:07:18,660
then kick our spleens out when we
don't give you it back on time!

90
00:07:18,680 --> 00:07:22,720
Sounds great(!)
Where do we sign up? Come on, Jack.

91
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:25,720
I'm here if you need me!

92
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:32,639
Think we're being a bit hasty
wanting to splash all that money?

93
00:07:32,664 --> 00:07:34,720
Maybe we should hold onto it.

94
00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,636
Imagine havin' tae
deal wi' that monkey.

95
00:07:37,641 --> 00:07:41,740
Aye, but listen, Jack. We saved
that money up. It's ours!

96
00:07:41,760 --> 00:07:45,385
We didnae go tae any money
lenders before we had it

97
00:07:45,410 --> 00:07:48,600
and we'll not be visitin'
one after it's done!

98
00:07:48,600 --> 00:07:53,640
You're right. It's a bloody miracle
we've been able tae save it at all.

99
00:07:53,640 --> 00:07:55,764
Och, aye! You only get one shot!

100
00:07:55,789 --> 00:07:59,880
Let's be good tae ourselves. Yes!
What'll you dae wi' yours?

101
00:07:59,880 --> 00:08:02,400
I'm needin' some socks. Socks?!

102
00:08:02,400 --> 00:08:07,440
Aim a bit higher than that, Jack!
You've 300 quid, for God's sake!

103
00:08:07,440 --> 00:08:11,769
Aye. All right - a hooker.
Now you're aiming a bit too high.

104
00:08:11,794 --> 00:08:14,040
Aim between socks and a hooker.

105
00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:18,790
What are you getting? I dunno.
We shouldn't eek it out for months.

106
00:08:18,795 --> 00:08:21,180
We should live
fast...for a week!

107
00:08:21,200 --> 00:08:26,120
Aye. Live fast, die...old.
Aye, kind of.

108
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:32,440
300 quid to spend in a week?
Yes, indeedy.

109
00:08:32,440 --> 00:08:34,960
Bookies, clothes, grub!

110
00:08:34,960 --> 00:08:39,480
Ooh, Marks & Spencer's. Calm
your jets. It's no' a lottery win!

111
00:08:42,040 --> 00:08:45,400
THEY CHATTER
What's goin' on?

112
00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:49,440
When it's down, you can't get it up!
When it's up, you can't get it down!

113
00:08:49,440 --> 00:08:55,760
I'd have thought you were a bit young
for the old Viagra, Bobby? Shut up.

114
00:08:55,760 --> 00:09:00,058
Winston, gie's your putter. No.
You've already humped my nine iron.

115
00:09:00,083 --> 00:09:02,104
Right, Bobby. Oot the road.

116
00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:09,480
Right. Come on.
You need to shove it. Here we go.

117
00:09:09,480 --> 00:09:12,880
Bloody thing's lethal!
It's got a life of its own!

118
00:09:12,880 --> 00:09:15,760
Youse all right in there?

119
00:09:15,760 --> 00:09:16,920
Hello?!

120
00:09:16,920 --> 00:09:21,680
BUZZ OF CONVERSATION

121
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,200
Jack? Victor?

122
00:09:25,200 --> 00:09:28,720
CHATTER CONTINUES

123
00:09:31,440 --> 00:09:33,560
Winston?

124
00:09:33,560 --> 00:09:38,400
Has everybody got a drink?
ALL: Aye! Hold on! Hurry up!

125
00:09:38,400 --> 00:09:40,720
To Bobby!

126
00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,960
Tumblers back. Come on!

127
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:54,920
Hup! Hup! Back to your seats!
Back to your seats!

128
00:09:57,920 --> 00:10:01,960
Right, you arseholes...!
Whit have you to do for a drink?

129
00:10:01,960 --> 00:10:06,270
Can I please have two brandies?
Good ones - none of your rubbish.

130
00:10:06,295 --> 00:10:08,360
Brandies?!
Yes, and what of it?

131
00:10:08,360 --> 00:10:12,927
After we're finished, we're gonna
go up the high street for new togs.

132
00:10:12,932 --> 00:10:15,060
Oh? The bingo must've been good.

133
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:19,080
Get it up youse.
We're treatin' ourselves. Yes.

134
00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:23,240
How was the golf? Shite, thank you.
Tam, whit aboot you?

135
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:29,000
Ooh! Whit's that?
Air rifle on the fifth.

136
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:33,640
That widnae happen tae Tiger Woods.
Why do you bother wi' that course?

137
00:10:33,640 --> 00:10:36,862
Where else are we gonnae play?
Want another drink?

138
00:10:36,887 --> 00:10:39,200
No. We're going to
finish our round.

139
00:10:39,200 --> 00:10:44,600
You're off your heids! We can't
not finish! What does that mean?!

140
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,520
It means we would've lost. To who?

141
00:10:47,520 --> 00:10:50,200
Two plooky wee neds? Nae chance.

142
00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:53,415
I'm no' aboot tae play
the put-upon pensioner

143
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:57,020
skulking aboot in constant
fear for my life! No, no!

144
00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,408
There's two type
of people in life.

145
00:10:59,433 --> 00:11:03,904
Those who use the front door and
those who use the back. ...Come on.

146
00:11:09,760 --> 00:11:11,880
Bobby?

147
00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:16,000
Can we use the back door?
The shutter's down.

148
00:11:17,360 --> 00:11:19,400
See you now.

149
00:11:19,400 --> 00:11:21,840
Winston. Cheers.

150
00:11:21,840 --> 00:11:25,320
Hear that? "Back door".
THEY LAUGH

151
00:11:27,760 --> 00:11:31,600
Hello, Navid! Hello, Isa!
Hello, you two.

152
00:11:31,600 --> 00:11:37,040
Hello, Jack. Victor. Where were you?
Hoey's of Partick. Like the new duds?

153
00:11:37,040 --> 00:11:39,111
Oh, lift your heel there, Jack.

154
00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:43,500
A flash of label on the sole of
your new shoe. That'll never do.

155
00:11:43,520 --> 00:11:45,840
Fantastic! What d'you think, Meena?

156
00:11:51,120 --> 00:11:55,560
What's in the bags? Auld duds.
Classy(!) What can I do you for?

157
00:11:55,560 --> 00:11:58,080
Er... 2oz of pipe tobacco. Drum?

158
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,880
St Bruno. For your new pipe?

159
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:06,240
Allow me, Jack.
You got lunch.

160
00:12:06,240 --> 00:12:09,600
SNIFFS
New leather! Unmistakable.

161
00:12:09,600 --> 00:12:15,280
Yes, indeedy. Pipe?
Expensive baccy? Wallet? Duds?

162
00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:19,724
Would it be safe to assume you've
come into some disposable income?

163
00:12:19,729 --> 00:12:21,860
We're holdin' some foldin', yes.

164
00:12:21,880 --> 00:12:24,000
Today is a fantastic day, indeed.

165
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:31,160
How's that? My usual type of customer is
pensioners, neds, snottery weans, you know.

166
00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:35,200
The manky mob. The rubbish people.
Trailer trash. Tornado bait.

167
00:12:35,200 --> 00:12:39,040
Very rarely do I get
customers of your calibre.

168
00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:42,840
Follow me, gentlemen.
I want to show you something.

169
00:12:45,520 --> 00:12:48,960
Come away in. Ooh! What's all this?

170
00:12:51,200 --> 00:12:54,720
Stock Market Live.
What d'you dae wi' that?

171
00:12:54,720 --> 00:12:59,400
You invest - stocks, shares, buy,
sell. You should get involved.

172
00:12:59,400 --> 00:13:01,413
Oh, whit do you take us for?

173
00:13:01,438 --> 00:13:05,440
City types sittin' on millions?
Houses in the country?

174
00:13:05,440 --> 00:13:10,360
Nah, we're pensioners. That's no'
for the likes of us. You're wrong.

175
00:13:10,360 --> 00:13:13,800
It's for everybody.
It's like the bookies.

176
00:13:13,800 --> 00:13:18,960
You pick a horse - in this instance,
a company - and you back it.

177
00:13:18,960 --> 00:13:23,920
The beauty is it disnae have to win
the race, it just has to run good.

178
00:13:23,920 --> 00:13:29,360
What if your company falls, breaks
its leg, and has to be put down?

179
00:13:29,360 --> 00:13:33,200
Good point, Victor.
But YOU are the jockey.

180
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:38,240
And you're allowed to jump from the
horse at any time in the race! Hmm.

181
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:43,440
Right, Victor. You want a wee go on
this? I fancy a wee flutter, aye.

182
00:13:43,440 --> 00:13:48,880
Right, Navid. Give us
that Chromotron UK. Each way.

183
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:59,040
Well, look at that.
Oh, aye. Perfect. Hmm.

184
00:14:00,880 --> 00:14:04,480
Right. Come on!
Come 'ere, you wee bastard!

185
00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:09,720
Get them in the bag. Quality, man.
Many's that? Dunno, 50! Shut up!

186
00:14:09,720 --> 00:14:14,720
Ho! Gie's our baws back. What baws?
The baws that bastard's liftin'!

187
00:14:14,720 --> 00:14:17,680
These are mine.
They're not! They are.

188
00:14:17,680 --> 00:14:22,280
Want to buy some baws? 25p a baw.
We're no' buyin' our own baws back!

189
00:14:22,280 --> 00:14:26,173
If you weren't so shite, you
wouldnae lose your baws!

190
00:14:26,178 --> 00:14:28,820
Whit d'you know?!
I'd tan your arse!

191
00:14:28,840 --> 00:14:32,240
You couldnae. I'm golf daft.
I play off 14.

192
00:14:32,240 --> 00:14:37,280
Pish! I play off 14! Right, then.
I'll give you a game on Wednesday.

193
00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:41,360
If you win, I'll gie you they baws.
All the baws. Good baws, an' all.

194
00:14:41,360 --> 00:14:43,905
Stop sayin' baws?
How about this?

195
00:14:43,930 --> 00:14:48,944
If I win, me and my pal can play
here in peace, AND keep the baws.

196
00:14:49,960 --> 00:14:52,320
All right. What if I win?

197
00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:56,781
You can continue to steal baws,
shoot other players in the arse,

198
00:14:56,806 --> 00:14:58,840
and generally be wee fannies.

199
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:02,800
Yeah. ...Quality, man.

200
00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:18,120
Right, now that's £100. You know
there's interest on it, don't you?

201
00:15:18,120 --> 00:15:20,312
I dunno anything about interest.

202
00:15:20,337 --> 00:15:24,560
Does it work the same as in a bank?
Aye. Just like the bank.

203
00:15:24,560 --> 00:15:28,160
So you're just really
like a mobile bank, eh?

204
00:15:28,160 --> 00:15:33,480
Aye, a mobile bank.
That's smashin', son. Thanks.

205
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:39,240
Sweet sherry, please, Bobby.
What you for, Eric?

206
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:43,160
That's good of you. ...A lager.
And a lager, Bobby. Right.

207
00:15:43,160 --> 00:15:47,800
Are you a bit flush, Isa?
Aye, I am indeed, Eric.

208
00:15:47,800 --> 00:15:52,400
This morning, I saw Jack and Victor
talkin' to that fella over there.

209
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:55,686
Aye? Next thing, the two
of them turn up at Navid's

210
00:15:55,711 --> 00:15:58,600
wi' new clothes and buyin'
the best gear, too!

211
00:15:58,600 --> 00:16:03,120
So who's the fella?
He lends you money. Ooh!

212
00:16:03,120 --> 00:16:07,840
If Jack and Victor are dealin'
wi' him, he must be all right.

213
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:12,840
I suppose so. I might have
a word with him myself.

214
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:25,240
Is your stupid pal your caddy, aye?
Yes, my pal Tam's my caddy.

215
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,600
Good. That's my caddy - Goubo.

216
00:16:28,720 --> 00:16:32,160
- Hello, Goubo.
- All right?

217
00:16:33,600 --> 00:16:37,339
Right. I'll tee off, then, will I?
What do you think, Tam?

218
00:16:37,344 --> 00:16:39,980
There's a dogleg - a
couple to the green.

219
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:44,880
Aye, you're looking at a four iron.
Right. Here we are.

220
00:17:00,840 --> 00:17:02,120
Yes.

221
00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:07,440
Dogleg, you say?
What d'you think, Goubo?

222
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:10,480
Dunno, man. Gie's that metal one.

223
00:17:26,800 --> 00:17:30,480
Oh, quality, man! What a shot!

224
00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:39,440
Thunderbird?
No, thank you! Thunderbird!

225
00:17:41,800 --> 00:17:46,440
Come on! Come on, Submarine!
Come on! Come on... Go!

226
00:17:46,440 --> 00:17:51,480
Away you go, you dirty useless
good-for-nothing bag of shite!

227
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,733
That was smashin', win't it?
Aye.

228
00:17:53,758 --> 00:17:58,240
That's the thing about free money
- it's no' sore when you drop it.

229
00:17:58,240 --> 00:18:03,280
Aye! New clothes, new wallet, new
pipe! Fantastic! That's fantastic.

230
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:08,760
You two are in a good mood! I hope
I'm in one after I've put this on!

231
00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:12,800
50 quid on Dainty Danube,
Stevie, my man!

232
00:18:12,800 --> 00:18:15,640
Hold up there, Eric. 50 quid?

233
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,828
Have you lost the bloody place?!
I've no worries.

234
00:18:18,833 --> 00:18:21,741
I'm drinkin' from the
same fountain as youse.

235
00:18:21,760 --> 00:18:28,240
What bloody fountain d'you mean? I spoke to
that money lender. The guy youse two go to.

236
00:18:28,240 --> 00:18:32,120
Are you drunk?! We don't go
to any guy for any thing!

237
00:18:32,120 --> 00:18:35,680
Ah. Trying to keep it hush-hush?
I got you!

238
00:18:35,680 --> 00:18:37,540
Isa said you got money off him.

239
00:18:37,565 --> 00:18:41,944
She saw you with him outside Navid's.
Then she tapped him and so did I!

240
00:18:43,400 --> 00:18:45,560
Isa?

241
00:18:49,200 --> 00:18:53,720
Whit's the score, Jack? Is she in?
No. Light's oot, an' all.

242
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,520
Where is she? Whit's she doing?

243
00:18:59,480 --> 00:19:01,320
Isa?!

244
00:19:01,320 --> 00:19:05,360
Come and get a plate of this soup
before it gets cold.

245
00:19:05,360 --> 00:19:07,880
JACK SIGHS

246
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:22,120
Whit kind is that? We still had some
money left, so I bought the best gear.

247
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:25,640
Baxter's? What else?
HE SNIGGERS

248
00:19:29,200 --> 00:19:34,320
A money lender in Craiglang. That's
the arse finally tore oot it now.

249
00:19:35,320 --> 00:19:37,310
I wish to Christ she was in.

250
00:19:37,315 --> 00:19:41,340
We need to stop her spending
whatever it is she tapped.

251
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:43,400
Damage limitation.

252
00:19:43,400 --> 00:19:46,920
SOUP BUBBLES
Right, that's us. Right.

253
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:51,000
LIFT TINGS >
Oh! I'm going.

254
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:52,880
DOOR OPENS >

255
00:19:53,960 --> 00:19:57,200
Hello, boys! Like my new coat?

256
00:19:57,200 --> 00:20:01,640
Isa, you dozy cow! You've tapped
money off that money lender!

257
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:04,296
Aye. Just a bit.
What's the harm in it?

258
00:20:04,301 --> 00:20:08,060
What's the harm in it?!
Money lenders are bad news, Isa!

259
00:20:08,080 --> 00:20:12,240
Who've you told? Hardly anybody.

260
00:20:14,800 --> 00:20:17,400
Wait there. Victor, get your coat.

261
00:20:21,840 --> 00:20:24,880
BUZZ OF CONVERSATION

262
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,179
Jeez-o. You're awfy busy.
Aye. Wednesday?

263
00:20:29,184 --> 00:20:33,060
It's like payday. They want
change for the puggy, too.

264
00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,480
Is that a mobile there, Peggy?

265
00:20:35,505 --> 00:20:39,720
Aye. I've always wanted one.
He's got one, too.

266
00:20:39,720 --> 00:20:45,560
- We're on this lovers' tariff. It's
cheaper to call one another. - Oh, aye?

267
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:50,520
Aye. It means I can keep tabs
on the wee whoremeister.

268
00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:56,080
Two pints. Right, Arthur.
...That's nice? Is it new?

269
00:20:56,080 --> 00:21:00,400
This? Aye. Automatic,
no batteries...

270
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:06,320
- Hey, Jim. Where's your specs?
- Don't need them. Laser treatment.

271
00:21:11,320 --> 00:21:16,600
Steady now, Winston. This is for
the birdie. How's baw bag lookin'?

272
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:22,280
Pished. He's emptied that flask
of Thunderbird. That's the game.

273
00:21:22,280 --> 00:21:26,800
Put it away, Goubo, man.
Let the man make his shot.

274
00:21:29,760 --> 00:21:33,520
Cheers for that, Goubo(!)

275
00:21:40,480 --> 00:21:45,960
COUNTRY MUSIC ON RADIO
Oh, it's Lambert and Butler(!)

276
00:21:45,960 --> 00:21:51,080
Shut up, Bobby. You're the only fag
in here. Get the music turned down.

277
00:21:51,080 --> 00:21:53,680
Right. Listen up, everybody!

278
00:21:55,240 --> 00:22:00,240
There's a money lender in town.
WHISTLES A WESTERN TUNE

279
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:04,680
Bobby! Oh, that's right, aye!
Have a bloody good laugh!

280
00:22:04,680 --> 00:22:07,579
A money lender spells
the end for Craiglang!

281
00:22:07,584 --> 00:22:10,780
You let him in, that's the
whole thing knackered.

282
00:22:10,800 --> 00:22:14,640
He'll take every single cent
oot of this place. Mm-hm.

283
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:21,920
And then that'll be us completely potless!
Jack's right. They offer you a bit of help.

284
00:22:21,920 --> 00:22:26,360
A quick fix for your problems?
Aye. Well, that's all it is!

285
00:22:26,360 --> 00:22:28,800
A quick fix!

286
00:22:28,800 --> 00:22:33,560
Because before too long, he's got
you where he wants you. Down a hole!

287
00:22:33,560 --> 00:22:36,042
Then he moves on
to the next place

288
00:22:36,067 --> 00:22:40,824
and starts it all again wi' another
bunch of poor gullible bastards!

289
00:22:41,800 --> 00:22:45,360
Right... So who's tapped 'im? Aye.

290
00:22:46,800 --> 00:22:48,920
Come on!

291
00:22:48,920 --> 00:22:53,360
Peggy. You're red in the face.
Have you had money off him?

292
00:22:53,360 --> 00:22:56,160
- Aye.
- How much?

293
00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:57,880
£150.

294
00:22:59,200 --> 00:23:01,666
Danny. You've got
six grand-weans.

295
00:23:01,691 --> 00:23:05,424
Your boy's just lost his job...
Have you took money?

296
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:11,800
Where's your glasses, Jim?

297
00:23:11,800 --> 00:23:15,320
650 quid.
Christ almighty! Who else?!

298
00:23:16,600 --> 00:23:19,160
I don't know what you're gonnae dae!

299
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:23,120
Because £100 the day
is £200 tomorrow!

300
00:23:23,120 --> 00:23:26,800
And the day after that, it's £300!
Eh?!

301
00:23:26,800 --> 00:23:32,360
Before you know where you are, it's the
end of the week, and you owe him £1,000!

302
00:23:32,360 --> 00:23:35,200
The next week, you owe £2,000!

303
00:23:35,200 --> 00:23:38,720
And then, the next week,
you owe £3,000!

304
00:23:38,720 --> 00:23:44,760
Then...! That's plenty, Jack. You know what
I mean! ...He'll want your guts for garters!

305
00:23:44,760 --> 00:23:50,680
What'll you do when he comes calling?!
What'll you do?! CAR STOPS OUTSIDE

306
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:54,120
CRASH!
Oh, you...!

307
00:23:54,120 --> 00:23:57,120
< CRIES OF PAIN

308
00:24:01,200 --> 00:24:04,040
Oh, you...! Jesus!

309
00:24:04,040 --> 00:24:06,012
That thing nearly broke my neck!

310
00:24:06,037 --> 00:24:10,080
It's no more than you deserve, you bastard.
How am I a bastard?!

311
00:24:10,080 --> 00:24:14,800
Money lenders. Scum of the earth.
Aye, they are, but that's no' me.

312
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:18,640
You're saying you're no'
a money lender? Well, I am.

313
00:24:18,640 --> 00:24:23,040
But I'm only charging 6% -
same as the bank. Don't talk pish!

314
00:24:23,040 --> 00:24:28,600
I'm no'! You're pensioners. The bank
won't lend you money. 6%'s good.

315
00:24:28,600 --> 00:24:32,920
I borrowed £100. What would
I owe you next week? Eh, 106.

316
00:24:32,960 --> 00:24:38,800
What about the following week?
£112.36. Och, that's...! That's...

317
00:24:38,800 --> 00:24:43,000
That's actually quite good.
It is. It's no bad.

318
00:24:43,000 --> 00:24:45,440
Right, get him up. All right.

319
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:55,440
Beautiful, Winston! He's got to sink that
for a draw, then you'll play another hole!

320
00:24:55,440 --> 00:25:01,000
He won't finish this! Look at the state
of him! That's a 65ft putt that!

321
00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,920
It cannae happen! No.

322
00:25:10,680 --> 00:25:14,320
I got made redundant
a couple of months ago,

323
00:25:14,320 --> 00:25:18,960
I thought I could fritter away
the money or get it working for me.

324
00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:21,802
I figures if you come in
at a good honest rate,

325
00:25:21,827 --> 00:25:25,000
you could undercut all the
toerags charging fortunes.

326
00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:29,680
That's... That's a sound plan.
Aye. You want a pint, son.

327
00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:34,520
Aye. Get him a pint, Bobby.
...You want one? I'll take one.

328
00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,800
THEY LAUGH AND SHOUT

329
00:25:58,800 --> 00:26:03,920
BOTH: Hooray!
Baw! Well done.

330
00:26:03,920 --> 00:26:06,600
Now... Get your gear off.

331
00:26:06,600 --> 00:26:09,280
Eh? Goubo.

332
00:26:11,600 --> 00:26:14,200
Oh, right! Right!

333
00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:24,960
Nice fella, that money lender.

334
00:26:24,960 --> 00:26:28,480
Aye, aye.
He was a lovely fella, aye.

335
00:26:28,480 --> 00:26:32,600
You see, you can't
judge a book by its cover. Aye.

336
00:26:34,080 --> 00:26:36,360
Unless it's a scud book!

337
00:26:36,360 --> 00:26:41,200
LAUGHTER Aye. You know whit
you're getting wi' a scuddie.

338
00:26:41,200 --> 00:26:44,680
It was good having that money,
wasn't it?

339
00:26:44,680 --> 00:26:49,320
Aye, it was a good feeling,
having a wee bit extra to spend.

340
00:26:49,320 --> 00:26:53,760
But... That's it done now.
Aye, that's it.

341
00:26:57,200 --> 00:27:01,240
Hold on! We've still got
the shares we got off of Navid!

342
00:27:01,240 --> 00:27:03,680
What was it? Chromotron UK!

343
00:27:03,680 --> 00:27:08,651
Oh, aye, aye. Here, we'll get one
of those financial papers tomorrow,

344
00:27:08,676 --> 00:27:10,640
see how they're getting on!

345
00:27:10,640 --> 00:27:13,880
Right, right, OK.

346
00:27:13,880 --> 00:27:17,720
Yes, I see. Yep.
...OK, thank you. Bye-bye.

347
00:27:59,840 --> 00:28:04,880
Jeez-o! Whit a night. I must've
swallowed half a pound of sand.

348
00:28:04,880 --> 00:28:08,080
Aye. Me, an' all.

349
00:28:08,080 --> 00:28:10,720
A fox pished on my hair, too.

350
00:28:10,720 --> 00:28:14,320
When do you think
somebody'll find us?

351
00:28:14,320 --> 00:28:20,320
Soon. A lot of these golfers start
early... Here! Shh! What? ...Eh?!

352
00:28:20,320 --> 00:28:25,240
Aa-aa-agh! That was bastardin'
sore! At least we've been found!

353
00:28:26,680 --> 00:28:29,720
Quality, man! Another 25p!

354
00:28:35,760 --> 00:28:37,440
Help.