1
00:00:35,880 --> 00:00:41,800
TV IS ON What huv I missed? What's
this trick aboot? It's a lotta shite.

2
00:00:41,800 --> 00:00:46,560
This boy here wi' the pyjamas on
has opened the door to the "council"

3
00:00:46,560 --> 00:00:51,920
who're cuttin' doon a hunner-year-old
tree that belangs to him.

4
00:00:51,920 --> 00:00:56,720
The reason they gie'd him is it's
against the law. A lot of rubbish.

5
00:00:56,720 --> 00:01:00,360
And he's swallied it? Aye.
That's him gaun' aff his nut noo.

6
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:07,012
Stupit gullible prick! Aye, he's a prick.
Ye wouldnae catch me.

7
00:01:07,017 --> 00:01:09,580
See if somebody came
tae ma door and said,

8
00:01:09,600 --> 00:01:13,546
"We're cutting' doon yer prize
tree, the tree ye grew up wi'."

9
00:01:13,571 --> 00:01:16,240
I'd say, "That's fine.
Go and cut it doon.

10
00:01:16,240 --> 00:01:20,114
"I'm just goin' into the
kitchen tae get a big knife

11
00:01:20,119 --> 00:01:22,820
tae slit your
bastardin' throat wi'!"

12
00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:27,840
Ye wouldnae catch me in my pyjamas,
in the gairden, caught on camera.

13
00:01:27,840 --> 00:01:32,560
I'd conduct the entire discussion
through the letter box.

14
00:01:32,560 --> 00:01:35,120
"We're cutting' doon yer big tree!"

15
00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:39,040
"Are ye?" Shotgun
through the letter box. Good night!

16
00:01:39,040 --> 00:01:43,200
The blast would be muffled
by the fat bastard's belly!

17
00:01:44,800 --> 00:01:49,920
Oh, Christ, look at that! There's
the presenter dressed as a polis.

18
00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:52,365
Look at the height of him.
A midget.

19
00:01:52,390 --> 00:01:56,000
You'd never believe he was a polis.
Know what I'd dae?

20
00:01:56,000 --> 00:02:01,360
Boof! Hat off! B-doing! Beat it!
You're no' a polis! Think I'm daft?

21
00:02:01,360 --> 00:02:05,800
Turn that shite aff, Jack.
I cannae take any mair.

22
00:02:17,400 --> 00:02:20,200
Hunner-year-old tree. Lotta pish.

23
00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:25,160
Oh, here. Don't pour that.

24
00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,800
Ye've reminded me.

25
00:02:28,800 --> 00:02:31,080
There ye are.

26
00:02:31,080 --> 00:02:34,080
What's this? Present.

27
00:02:34,080 --> 00:02:39,040
Ye no' know what day it is? It's
no' ma birthday. Is it ma birthday?

28
00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:41,320
No, it's no' ma birthday. Is it?

29
00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:45,640
No, but it is an anniversary. Whose?
I'll gie ye a clue. Frank McCallum.

30
00:02:45,640 --> 00:02:50,800
Frank McCallum... Jesus,
where do I know that name fae?

31
00:02:50,800 --> 00:02:56,650
Was that the fella wi' the golf-ball
nose, ran the cafe in Wellshot Rd?

32
00:02:56,675 --> 00:02:58,600
Wee limp. Big family.

33
00:02:58,600 --> 00:03:02,000
Naw. That wis Boabby Jackson.
Jackson's cafe, sure.

34
00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:04,640
Oh, aye. Frank McCallum.

35
00:03:06,600 --> 00:03:10,760
The big, red-heided bastard,
used tae eat stuff oot the bins?

36
00:03:10,760 --> 00:03:15,000
Naw. That wis Sammy Baker.
Baker the Raker, sure.

37
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:20,320
Frank McCallum...
Aw, the boy and the tram!

38
00:03:20,320 --> 00:03:24,883
Bingo. What else happened that day?
That wis the day we met.

39
00:03:24,888 --> 00:03:27,780
That's right. 60 years the morra.
Naw!

40
00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:32,800
Sure, we went out and got rat arsed
on the 50th. Oh, I mind that!

41
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:36,200
What a heid I had the next day.
Christ!

42
00:03:36,200 --> 00:03:40,160
Is that ten year ago?
Aye. So it's 60 the morra.

43
00:03:40,160 --> 00:03:46,200
That's right. I was trying
to get across... Sibley Street.

44
00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:50,360
Sibley Street, aye. Boof! Young
fella gets knocked doon by a tram!

45
00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:54,840
Frank McCallum. Frank McCallum!
The driver sends me to get help.

46
00:03:54,840 --> 00:03:57,976
You run into ma da's shop,
roarin' and greetin'.

47
00:03:58,001 --> 00:04:00,920
I came out to see what
all the commotion was.

48
00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:05,680
That was it. Best pals ever since.
..On you go.

49
00:04:13,480 --> 00:04:18,320
Oh! "60 years best pals"!
That's lovely, that is.

50
00:04:18,320 --> 00:04:22,040
I wish you health to drink oot it.
Smashin'.

51
00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:26,040
Beer tastes better
oot o' a tankard! Aye.

52
00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:30,600
So ye didnae remember?

53
00:04:30,600 --> 00:04:33,640
Naw, I did not, no.

54
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:36,440
Didnae huv it written doon anywhere?

55
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:37,840
Naw.

56
00:04:41,880 --> 00:04:46,440
Haud up, Jack. I know what ye're
thinkin' - that I'm windin' ye up

57
00:04:46,465 --> 00:04:48,720
and I'm aboot tae
produce a gift.

58
00:04:48,720 --> 00:04:53,240
But believe me, I didnae remember.
I've got ye hee-haw.

59
00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,429
Away, ya lousy big bastard, ye!

60
00:04:56,434 --> 00:05:01,140
I'm standin' in that bloody jewellers
gettin' that thing engraved

61
00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:04,523
and you're sittin' wi'
yer thumb up yer arse!

62
00:05:04,548 --> 00:05:07,544
So that's the way of it?
Givin' tae get?

63
00:05:08,440 --> 00:05:12,204
Ye've bittered this beer noo, Jack!
Don't talk pish.

64
00:05:12,229 --> 00:05:16,040
You're tryin' tae cover yer
red neck wi' that patter.

65
00:05:16,040 --> 00:05:19,200
Aye, I am. I feel bad.
Dinnae make it worse.

66
00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:26,162
Look, what aboot this? We'll go
into toon tomorrow, celebrate.

67
00:05:26,167 --> 00:05:28,860
I'll take you for a nice meal.
Oh, aye.

68
00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:34,600
A burger and chips in some stinkin'
pub? Up to the value of a tankard.

69
00:05:34,600 --> 00:05:38,880
Somewhere proper? Aye. Wi'
tablecloths an' that? Of course.

70
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,960
All right, you're on.

71
00:05:48,640 --> 00:05:51,251
I was not roarin' and greetin'.
Ye were.

72
00:05:51,256 --> 00:05:54,860
You were bubblin' like a big bloody wean.
Ach, yer arse!

73
00:05:54,880 --> 00:05:57,480
That's lovely. Nice wee break.

74
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:04,520
We gonna go mad and get a taxi?
Into the toon?! Indeed we will not.

75
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:09,680
You said you were gonnae treat me.
Up to the value of a tankard.

76
00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:14,480
A taxi into the toon would take ye
well beyond the tanker threshold.

77
00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:18,880
Tightwad. It's the bus, in't it?
Yes, indeed-y!

78
00:06:18,880 --> 00:06:23,400
Which for us is free. Yes.
Haud the lift!

79
00:06:23,400 --> 00:06:27,080
Oh, shut, ya bastard!
Shut...shut...

80
00:06:27,080 --> 00:06:30,760
Just me! I'm goin' doon tae Jean's.

81
00:06:31,960 --> 00:06:37,000
Ooh! Look at youse two
a' done up smart! Nice jaikets.

82
00:06:38,560 --> 00:06:44,800
Where are youse gaun'? Ye're no' gaun'
to the Clansman, no' turned out like that.

83
00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:48,277
Must be somewhere good,
somewhere special, eh?

84
00:06:48,282 --> 00:06:51,660
What would that be?
What would the reason be?

85
00:06:51,680 --> 00:06:56,160
A wedding? ..Naw. You'd have
buttonholes on for a wedding.

86
00:06:56,160 --> 00:06:59,240
It's no' a funeral
cos of the ties...

87
00:06:59,240 --> 00:07:02,174
And it's no' a court case.
I'd have heard!

88
00:07:02,199 --> 00:07:06,200
Is it a day oot somewhere?
Somewhere that isnae Craiglang?

89
00:07:06,200 --> 00:07:09,680
It's the toon!
It's the toon, in't it?!

90
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:13,760
Ha-ha!
I know WHERE ye're gaun', but why?

91
00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:17,840
Are you celebratin' something?
Your birthday?

92
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:21,200
No.
Two old pals gaun' intae the toon.

93
00:07:21,200 --> 00:07:25,240
Two old pals...celebrating...

94
00:07:25,240 --> 00:07:27,680
Celebrating, er...

95
00:07:29,680 --> 00:07:33,480
Celebrating just being old pals!
That's it, in't it?!

96
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:37,360
Like an anniversary!
Ooh! That's it, in't it?!

97
00:07:40,600 --> 00:07:45,120
She's creepy wi' that.
Aye, she gies me the fear.

98
00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:51,640
Got a rare day for it. Aye, aye.

99
00:07:51,640 --> 00:07:55,760
I cannae mind the last time
I was in the toon, can you? Nope.

100
00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,400
Where d'ye want to go first?

101
00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:02,345
If it's all right wi' you, I'd like
to pop into that wee tobacconist

102
00:08:02,370 --> 00:08:04,600
off George Square,
if it's still there.

103
00:08:04,600 --> 00:08:08,759
I fancy something different,
something a wee bit exotic.

104
00:08:08,784 --> 00:08:11,240
Course, you'll no'
be interested.

105
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:14,962
I could get masel' a wee
cigar for after the meal.

106
00:08:14,987 --> 00:08:18,320
I enjoy a wee cigar.
That's right, so ye dae.

107
00:08:18,320 --> 00:08:21,920
A wee Tom Thumb. Cafe Creme. Mm.

108
00:08:21,920 --> 00:08:25,080
Or a slim panatella. Aye!

109
00:08:25,080 --> 00:08:27,680
Or a Hamlet. Mm-hm.

110
00:08:27,680 --> 00:08:31,720
Or a Castella. That's plenty!
Hey-ho.

111
00:08:31,720 --> 00:08:35,574
Whit are youse two daein'
oot yer wankin' chariots?

112
00:08:35,599 --> 00:08:39,280
Gaun' intae the toon. Oh.
I'll come wi' you. Naw.

113
00:08:39,280 --> 00:08:43,600
How no'? Victor's takin' me for my
lunch. We're havin' a wee day o' it.

114
00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:48,640
What's that in aid o'? 60 years
we've been palin' aboot thegither.

115
00:08:48,640 --> 00:08:52,080
I'll just amuse masel' the day,
then, will I?

116
00:08:52,080 --> 00:08:57,400
Sorry, Winston, that's just the way
of it. Fine. Enjoy yerselves.

117
00:08:57,400 --> 00:08:59,440
Cheerie-bye.

118
00:09:03,120 --> 00:09:09,520
D'ye think we should huv asked him tae come
along wi' us? Aye. I feel a bit rotten noo.

119
00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:16,480
Away and gie him a shout.
Aye, all right.

120
00:09:16,480 --> 00:09:22,200
Mind and hold each other's hauns in
the town, now, it's very dangerous!

121
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:25,212
Victor, keep yer purse
wi' you at all times!

122
00:09:25,237 --> 00:09:28,760
..Jack, if ye need the toilet,
ye've to say ye need!

123
00:09:28,760 --> 00:09:33,200
Have a good day, ya couple
of pansy, poofy, jessie BASTARDS!

124
00:09:42,840 --> 00:09:48,240
That used tae be a fur coat shop.
And that was a haberdashers, aye.

125
00:09:48,240 --> 00:09:51,702
The tower's away. There
used tae be a clock there.

126
00:09:51,707 --> 00:09:54,940
You could always tell if
you were running late.

127
00:09:54,960 --> 00:09:59,960
That used tae be a big Birrells.
Oh, there's the 50-bob tailors!

128
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:03,567
You see... Can we cut the
All Our Yesterdays routine

129
00:10:03,592 --> 00:10:06,440
before I burst oot wi'
the bloody hankies?

130
00:10:06,440 --> 00:10:11,080
Can we get some tobacco? Right.
'Sake!

131
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:18,000
This is a lovely shop ye've got.
Thanks very much. What're ye after?

132
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:24,440
Pipe tobacco. I wouldn't mind a look at
yer cigars. Some here, more over there.

133
00:10:24,440 --> 00:10:28,563
See, the thing is, we're from
a place called Craiglang.

134
00:10:28,568 --> 00:10:31,340
It's only a corner
shop that's there,

135
00:10:31,360 --> 00:10:35,057
a wee newsagents. Only got the
two types - St Bruno and Drum.

136
00:10:35,062 --> 00:10:37,660
Oh, dear! Ye'll no'
have that problem here!

137
00:10:37,680 --> 00:10:41,692
Jeezo. It's some choice. I
wouldnae know where to start.

138
00:10:41,697 --> 00:10:44,980
Take as long as you like.
I've over 70 brands.

139
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:49,040
If you want a wee try
before you buy, feel free.

140
00:10:53,400 --> 00:10:56,080
Crabbit bastard! Good day!

141
00:10:56,080 --> 00:11:00,480
Whit got up his humph? I'm no expert
on tobacco shop etiquette,

142
00:11:00,480 --> 00:11:03,028
but maybe tryin'
17 different kinds

143
00:11:03,053 --> 00:11:07,160
before plumpin' for yer regular
brand isnae the done thing.

144
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:10,480
Ye've got to stick to whit ye know.

145
00:11:10,480 --> 00:11:15,160
# ..Perfect baby, listen to... #

146
00:11:15,160 --> 00:11:19,800
Whit's he singin', Jack?
Do ye know any Perry Como, son?

147
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:26,040
# Oh, hot diggity, dog diggity
Boom, what you do to me

148
00:11:26,040 --> 00:11:29,640
# It's so new to me
What you do to me

149
00:11:29,640 --> 00:11:35,520
# Hot diggity, dog diggity, boom What you
do to me When you're holding me tight... #

150
00:11:43,240 --> 00:11:46,560
MUSIC: "The In Crowd"

151
00:12:18,960 --> 00:12:21,280
No. No.

152
00:12:36,520 --> 00:12:38,760
Trying to poison me?!

153
00:12:42,920 --> 00:12:45,000
Well, sir?

154
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:47,820
Eh? Oh, aye, it's
a smashin' telly.

155
00:12:47,845 --> 00:12:52,544
But I've got a perfectly good
22-inch Grundig in the house.

156
00:12:55,760 --> 00:12:58,920
Oh, eh? Look at this place.

157
00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,560
Fabulous, eh?

158
00:13:01,560 --> 00:13:04,120
Come on.

159
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:09,520
It certainly is fancy.
Here, come we'll get that seat.

160
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:12,440
Haud on. How?

161
00:13:12,440 --> 00:13:16,541
Ye've tae wait to be seated.
Fur what? The place is empty.

162
00:13:16,566 --> 00:13:19,600
That's what ye dae. De
ye no' know nothin'?

163
00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:23,680
Oh, hello there, sweetheart.
Table for two. Two pals.

164
00:13:23,680 --> 00:13:28,920
Smoking or non-smoking? Smokin'.
Can we get that seat, hen? Yeah.

165
00:13:29,920 --> 00:13:32,200
Can I take yer jackets?

166
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:37,240
Oh, I dunno, Jack! What d'ye think?
This place looks a wee bit rough!

167
00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:40,216
..Will we ever see them
again, sweetheart?

168
00:13:40,241 --> 00:13:43,424
They'll just be on the
coat stand over there.

169
00:13:44,520 --> 00:13:49,760
Jesus. Humour bypass!
What would you like to drink?

170
00:13:49,760 --> 00:13:52,440
Just a couple of beers, darlin'.

171
00:13:52,440 --> 00:13:57,000
OK, we've got Genuine Draft,
Rolling Rock, Peroni, Sapporo, Sol,

172
00:13:57,000 --> 00:14:03,720
Tiger, San Miguel, Heineken, Stella Artois,
Michelob, Sleemans Honey Beer or Budvar.

173
00:14:04,800 --> 00:14:08,840
Ye just want a couple of pints,
don't ye?

174
00:14:10,840 --> 00:14:14,920
Look at this. It's like
the roof of a bloody hoose!

175
00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:26,680
Oh. Oh, here, that cannae be right.
Jesus! £8 for a plate of bloody soup!

176
00:14:26,680 --> 00:14:31,320
Huv ye clocked that, Victor? That's
a bit steep, is it no'? Victor.

177
00:14:32,720 --> 00:14:36,240
Victor.

178
00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:40,480
C'mon. Eh? Before she comes back!

179
00:14:40,480 --> 00:14:42,560
Ready to order, gents?

180
00:14:42,560 --> 00:14:45,400
Eh... Aye. Absolutely.

181
00:14:45,400 --> 00:14:50,240
Just getting ma jacket
cos the pipe's in the pocket, see?

182
00:14:52,760 --> 00:14:56,120
Right, now... Whit to have, eh?

183
00:14:57,760 --> 00:15:02,280
To start, I'll have the duck pate
with Scottish oatcakes.

184
00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:06,360
Eh, I'll have the shrimp, eh,
wrapped in the fi-lo pastry.

185
00:15:06,360 --> 00:15:09,386
And for the main - sirloin
steak, well done,

186
00:15:09,391 --> 00:15:12,660
with the mashed potatoes
and the Di-jon mustard.

187
00:15:12,680 --> 00:15:17,240
And the corn chicken breast
with rosemary and minted potatoes

188
00:15:17,240 --> 00:15:23,400
resting on a bed of couscous and
a side of asparagus with hot butter.

189
00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:26,540
Come to think of it, Jack,
I'm no' that hungry.

190
00:15:26,565 --> 00:15:29,680
Neither am I. Will we
just have some ice cream?

191
00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:34,800
Two ice creams, please. Have ye no'
been in here before? No, we huvnae.

192
00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:39,520
We huvnae ate in the toon
fur 20-odd year. See, the thing is,

193
00:15:39,520 --> 00:15:42,774
me and ma pal, we've known
each other 60 years the day

194
00:15:42,799 --> 00:15:45,680
so we thought we'd have a
nice meal to celebrate,

195
00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:48,680
but we're oot wur
depths wi' this menu.

196
00:15:48,705 --> 00:15:53,480
Is it all right just to have ice cream?
Mm-hm. Is that a'? Aye.

197
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,760
Thanks very much.

198
00:16:00,160 --> 00:16:03,360
Oh, that's lovely.
Thanks very much.

199
00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:07,360
A wee toast, then.
Frank McCallum. Aye. Frank McCallum.

200
00:16:13,400 --> 00:16:17,440
That's set me up for my ice cream.
Me an' a'.

201
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:23,400
Haud the bus. We ordered...
Ssh. I'll take care o' it.

202
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:26,520
I don't know
if we should let you do that.

203
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:30,400
If ma old man saw these prices,
HE'D huv a heart attack.

204
00:16:30,400 --> 00:16:35,160
Well, that's, eh... What's
yer name, son? Norrie. Wire in.

205
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:37,720
Thank you, Norrie.

206
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:41,840
MUSIC: "Magic Moments"

207
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:51,320
# Magic moments

208
00:16:51,320 --> 00:16:55,680
# When two hearts are caring

209
00:16:56,680 --> 00:17:01,080
# Magic moments

210
00:17:01,080 --> 00:17:05,280
# Memories we've been sharing

211
00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:10,440
# I'll never forget the moment
we kissed the night of the hay ride

212
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:17,480
# The way that we hugged to try to keep
warm while taking the sleigh ride... #

213
00:17:17,480 --> 00:17:20,920
I'm ruined. Me, an' all.
I can hardly bloody move.

214
00:17:20,920 --> 00:17:27,240
What a tightener, eh? Wait till
we tell Winston. He'll be beelin'!

215
00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:30,920
What do we do noo?
Get a haud of Norman.

216
00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:34,840
(Norrie! Psst.)

217
00:17:45,560 --> 00:17:50,680
Norman! Have you been smokin'
in the kitchen again? Em...

218
00:17:50,680 --> 00:17:52,920
Aye. Well, that's it!

219
00:17:52,920 --> 00:17:56,920
Ye're finished! Get yer coat.
Please... Get your coat!

220
00:17:56,945 --> 00:18:00,120
I need to get these
gents their bill first.

221
00:18:00,120 --> 00:18:03,640
I'll get their bill.
You get yer coat.

222
00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:16,200
Did you enjoy your meal?

223
00:18:16,200 --> 00:18:20,800
Aye. Eh, Norman was serving us.
Here's your bill, gents.

224
00:18:23,520 --> 00:18:26,680
140 quid! Bastard!

225
00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:30,600
Aye, it's a bastard.
I'll go haufers wi' ye.

226
00:18:30,600 --> 00:18:33,880
Och, shut up!
That's charmin', in't it? Shut up.

227
00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:38,080
What ye daein'?
Going through this bill! Again?!

228
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,896
It cannae be right!
That's what it costs!

229
00:18:40,921 --> 00:18:45,344
You saw the bloody menu! Stop
torturin' yersel'. Gie that tae me.

230
00:18:47,400 --> 00:18:51,840
Scandalous.
£32 for a tiny wee bit of chicken.

231
00:18:51,840 --> 00:18:55,760
Three toty wee totties, an' a'.
Stop it, Jack!

232
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:59,600
It's a kick in the balls,
right enough.

233
00:18:59,600 --> 00:19:03,800
But what a meal, eh? I'll remember
that fur the rest of ma days.

234
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:10,240
Ach, I suppose so, aye. Here,
that wine was somethin' else, eh?

235
00:19:10,240 --> 00:19:13,624
Aye. We've treated
wurselves good and proper.

236
00:19:13,629 --> 00:19:16,620
And rightly so. 60
years is a long time.

237
00:19:16,640 --> 00:19:22,200
You cannae put a price on that. Aye,
ye can! It's no' as much as £140 either!

238
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:26,918
Oh! Oh! Get yersel' thegither.
This isnae oor stop!

239
00:19:26,943 --> 00:19:30,144
I know. It's a wee diversion.
You'll enjoy this.

240
00:19:41,440 --> 00:19:45,009
4 o'clock. That gies us a
good hour tae look roon'.

241
00:19:45,034 --> 00:19:48,464
I'm no' payin' tae get in here, but.
I'll get it.

242
00:19:49,440 --> 00:19:52,280
Fly bastard.

243
00:19:53,360 --> 00:19:57,200
This is smashin', eh? Aye,
it's the berries, right enough.

244
00:19:57,200 --> 00:19:59,480
A' the old shops.

245
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:04,200
A right wander down memory lane,
in't it?

246
00:20:06,240 --> 00:20:10,320
I reckon you saved that boy's life
that day. D'ye think? Aye.

247
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:15,280
Showed foresight goin' into the only
shop in the street that had a phone.

248
00:20:15,400 --> 00:20:18,440
Dunno aboot foresight, Jack.
Luck maybe.

249
00:20:18,440 --> 00:20:23,320
Right enough, naebody really
had phones back then, did they?

250
00:20:23,320 --> 00:20:27,240
No, they did not.
Fate, you'd have to call it.

251
00:20:28,280 --> 00:20:31,200
Aye. Fate.

252
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:45,200
Some flashback, the old caur, eh?

253
00:20:45,200 --> 00:20:49,880
Aye. They should never huv
done away wi' they things.

254
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,200
Smashin' thing, eh?

255
00:20:53,200 --> 00:20:57,680
De ye think that's the one
that knocked Frank McCallum doon?

256
00:20:59,160 --> 00:21:01,640
Naw, I wouldnae think so.

257
00:21:01,640 --> 00:21:03,856
The 3 went through
Pollokshields.

258
00:21:03,881 --> 00:21:08,680
It was a 46 that knocked that boy down.
60 year. You wouldnae believe it.

259
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:11,920
Frightening-looking big bugger,
that, eh?

260
00:21:13,520 --> 00:21:18,600
It is, aye. I never knew this place
was here. Ma daughter telt me.

261
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:22,488
Is that right? Only reason
we're here is ma pal here,

262
00:21:22,513 --> 00:21:26,160
Victor, saved a boy's life
that got hit by a caur.

263
00:21:26,160 --> 00:21:30,280
A long time ago.
That's the day we met.

264
00:21:30,280 --> 00:21:32,800
60 year ago the day.

265
00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:36,720
Aye, that's right, aye.
Aye, 60 year.

266
00:21:36,720 --> 00:21:39,720
Frank McCallum.

267
00:21:43,800 --> 00:21:50,240
Six month I was in the hospital.
They didnae think I wis gonnae make it.

268
00:21:50,240 --> 00:21:55,036
I says tae ma daughter, "That'll be
60 year since I got knocked doon."

269
00:21:55,041 --> 00:21:57,380
It was her suggestion
I come here.

270
00:21:57,400 --> 00:22:02,709
It's amazing. A' that time passes
and where do we meet ye again?

271
00:22:02,734 --> 00:22:05,160
Right next tae a bloody tram!

272
00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:08,640
In a lot happier circumstances tae.

273
00:22:09,640 --> 00:22:15,040
I'd better get ma skates on. I've got
tae pick up somethin' fur ma supper.

274
00:22:16,040 --> 00:22:18,440
Why don't ye huv yer supper wi' us?

275
00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:21,880
Eh? Aye. Come up tae oors
and get somethin' tae eat,

276
00:22:21,905 --> 00:22:25,320
have a couple o' haufs and catch up, eh?
Aye, c'mon.

277
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:29,960
That's a very kind offer, boys.
Aye. That would be lovely.

278
00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:41,120
That wis lovely. Thanks fur that.

279
00:22:41,120 --> 00:22:43,640
Did ye enjoy that, Jack?

280
00:22:43,640 --> 00:22:47,135
It was lovely, aye. Wisnae
as good as lunch, but.

281
00:22:47,160 --> 00:22:51,120
Oh. ..What did ye do when ye
came oot the Merchant Navy?

282
00:22:51,120 --> 00:22:55,960
Oh, aye. Well, I'd met this
lovely lassie in Portugal - Leone.

283
00:22:55,960 --> 00:22:59,760
Ye want tae huv seen her. Gorgeous.
Thin as a pin.

284
00:22:59,760 --> 00:23:05,040
We got married oot there, I brought her
hame and we hud our daughter, Cindy.

285
00:23:05,065 --> 00:23:06,800
Aye, we were very happy.

286
00:23:06,800 --> 00:23:12,640
Is she still livin'? Oh, aye. Wi' a lousy
nae-user bastard in the South Side.

287
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:15,280
She's a big fat cow now.

288
00:23:15,280 --> 00:23:20,160
You couldnae knock her doon wi'
a tram. She'd derail the bastard.

289
00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:27,520
Aye, it's a bit of a surprise,
this, eh? Us three sittin' here.

290
00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,200
It's more surprisin' he's
broke oot wi' the malt.

291
00:23:30,225 --> 00:23:32,720
I was saving this for a
very special occasion.

292
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:37,080
If this isnae a special occasion,
I don't know what is.

293
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:46,640
Right.
Ye want a haun wi' these plates?

294
00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:51,320
Me and Jack'll get these. Want
a slice of Viennetta? What is it?

295
00:23:51,320 --> 00:23:55,560
It's ice cream wi' chocolate
laced through it. It's lovely.

296
00:23:55,560 --> 00:24:00,400
Aye, well, I'll help ye oot
wi' a plate of that, then.

297
00:24:07,360 --> 00:24:10,960
Help yersel' to a wee malt there,
Frank.

298
00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:13,040
Cheers, Victor.

299
00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:41,000
Where is he?
He must be in the slasher.

300
00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:43,640
Oh, I love this stuff.

301
00:24:43,640 --> 00:24:46,960
It's lovely, in't it?
Smashing, aye.

302
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,720
Some day we've had, eh? Aye.

303
00:24:49,720 --> 00:24:52,320
Nice fella, in't he?

304
00:24:54,680 --> 00:24:58,600
That's a big slice ye've gied him.
He's a guest.

305
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:03,280
Take a wee end...
Oi! A bit of respect!

306
00:25:03,280 --> 00:25:07,640
The man's in the toilet and
ye're tryin' tae steal his puddin'.

307
00:25:07,640 --> 00:25:10,080
I'm gonna get a smoke.

308
00:25:18,120 --> 00:25:20,600
Victor. Where's ma coat?

309
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,080
Bastard!

310
00:25:31,360 --> 00:25:35,560
A carriage clock,
sports jaiket and a wallet.

311
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:38,080
Aye, 60 quid in it!

312
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:43,160
And a pipe and two ounce of tobacco.
Ssh. ..What else? Eh...

313
00:25:44,560 --> 00:25:47,040
Where's yer tankard?

314
00:25:48,120 --> 00:25:50,680
Oh, ma tankard! Ya bastard!

315
00:25:50,680 --> 00:25:54,720
Sorry, hen. No, no' you.
Yes, I'll hang on.

316
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:59,320
Whit ye daein'?

317
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,880
He's hardly comin' back, is he?

318
00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:13,200
They wanted Frank McCallum,
so I wis Frank McCallum!

319
00:26:13,200 --> 00:26:16,040
Couple o' daft auld duffers.

320
00:26:16,040 --> 00:26:19,440
So...
they took you up tae their hoose?

321
00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:23,200
Aye, and when I got the chance,
I lifted this stuff.

322
00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:28,040
Jesus. I thought ye'd chucked that.
Still at the blag at your age.

323
00:26:28,040 --> 00:26:33,320
I know, eh? Stupid auld bastards!
They deserve a' they get.

324
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:37,760
Right. I'm away ower the road,
try and unload this gear.

325
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:49,920
Not many people get their stuff back
efter bein' robbed. Naw.

326
00:26:52,360 --> 00:26:57,440
Frank McCallum. Frank McCallum.
Or whoever you actually were.

327
00:27:00,720 --> 00:27:06,280
Don't drink your beer oot o' that.
Drink it oot yer tankard. Funny(!)

328
00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:42,124
Two pints o' lager. Winston said
you were in the toon yesterday,

329
00:27:42,149 --> 00:27:44,320
celebrating 60 years
of being pals.

330
00:27:44,320 --> 00:27:48,680
Aye. Whit a day
it turned out to be. Fantastic.

331
00:27:48,680 --> 00:27:54,240
Did Winston also say he was shoutin'
at us at the bus stop, calling us jessies?

332
00:27:54,240 --> 00:27:58,480
Calling us pansies - gave us
a right showing up, didn't he?

333
00:27:58,480 --> 00:28:02,600
Just cos we didn't ask him to come.
No, he didnae mention that.

334
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:05,920
Look, lads, I'm sorry aboot that.

335
00:28:05,920 --> 00:28:09,600
I went in the huff
cos you wouldnae let me come.

336
00:28:09,600 --> 00:28:13,840
I realise it was your day and
you didnae want me hangin' aboot.

337
00:28:13,840 --> 00:28:16,080
Are ye still talking to me?

338
00:28:16,080 --> 00:28:19,160
I suppose so.
Nae hard feelings.

339
00:28:19,160 --> 00:28:22,280
Let me get you a drink.
Nah, you're awright.

340
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:26,520
No, I insist. ..Bobby,
get us a couple o' drinks.

341
00:28:26,520 --> 00:28:30,600
Ladies and gentlemen,
I'd like to propose a toast.

342
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:33,480
To friendship.

343
00:28:33,480 --> 00:28:37,840
To two pals who've stuck thegither
Through thick and thin

344
00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,520
for the past 60 year.

345
00:28:40,520 --> 00:28:43,280
Jack and Victor.

346
00:28:43,280 --> 00:28:45,960
ALL: Jack and Victor.

347
00:28:48,640 --> 00:28:51,280
A couple o' bum chums!