1
00:00:34,940 --> 00:00:38,860
Right, what've you got,
ya big streak of piss?

2
00:00:38,860 --> 00:00:41,740
There's your salt, your pepper...

3
00:00:41,740 --> 00:00:46,260
Get your hankies out, gents!
I've got a full hoose. Get it up ye!

4
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:50,260
Ya dirty, jammy bastard!

5
00:00:50,260 --> 00:00:52,620
Bread and butter... Wanker!

6
00:00:53,900 --> 00:00:57,700
I'm no' gonnae tell youse again.
Keep it doon.

7
00:00:57,700 --> 00:01:01,568
- What's the matter wi' you?
- You're annoying my customers.

8
00:01:01,573 --> 00:01:03,640
Shut up! We're bloody customers!

9
00:01:03,660 --> 00:01:06,351
You're no' customers.
Customers buy drink.

10
00:01:06,376 --> 00:01:10,420
You've sat nursing them since you came in.
Cannae play steamin'!

11
00:01:10,420 --> 00:01:14,020
Must remain focused.
I'll focus you - right oot the door.

12
00:01:14,020 --> 00:01:17,477
Boabby, that's garbage patter.
"Focus you oot the door"?

13
00:01:17,482 --> 00:01:19,640
You cannae just
take a word, right,

14
00:01:19,660 --> 00:01:23,733
and slip it into a sentence and
pass that off as excellent patter.

15
00:01:23,738 --> 00:01:25,840
Be clever with it.
For instance...

16
00:01:25,860 --> 00:01:29,860
Something like
"I'll focus my boot on yer arse!"

17
00:01:29,860 --> 00:01:31,860
Or "focus on that", ya old duffer!

18
00:01:31,860 --> 00:01:34,344
See, that's cruder,
but still as effective.

19
00:01:34,349 --> 00:01:36,920
Or "away and take a
flying focus to yerself!"

20
00:01:36,940 --> 00:01:39,620
Disnae work, that.

21
00:01:39,620 --> 00:01:43,740
Look, I could lose my licence. You
shouldnae be playing cairds in here.

22
00:01:43,740 --> 00:01:46,626
CARDS, Boabby. We're playing
CARDS, no' "cairds".

23
00:01:46,651 --> 00:01:48,844
"Cairds" is what you
play cards with.

24
00:01:51,020 --> 00:01:52,980
Just keep it doon.

25
00:01:52,980 --> 00:01:56,540
BEEP! BEEP!
THEY CHEER

26
00:01:58,460 --> 00:02:01,580
Whaddya say?
Is this not the bollocks?

27
00:02:01,580 --> 00:02:05,260
Oh, yes, Joe!
That is the hairy bollocks!

28
00:02:05,260 --> 00:02:07,780
It is the cock'n'bollocks!

29
00:02:09,420 --> 00:02:11,741
This is new, then, Joe, eh?
It is indeed!

30
00:02:11,746 --> 00:02:14,760
Brand-new out of the box today!
It's a smashin' thing.

31
00:02:14,780 --> 00:02:16,660
How much did it cost you?

32
00:02:16,665 --> 00:02:21,000
Never you mind, you nosy bastard.
Gies a shot. Get lost!

33
00:02:21,020 --> 00:02:25,580
Here, you! "Gies a shot"!
That's his transport, not a toy!

34
00:02:25,580 --> 00:02:28,340
Gies a shot! What you talkin' aboot?

35
00:02:28,340 --> 00:02:31,020
ALL: OH!
< GENTS!

36
00:02:31,020 --> 00:02:33,780
That's it! Get oot. You're barred!

37
00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:41,180
The accumulator. The calling card
of the mug punter.

38
00:02:41,180 --> 00:02:43,500
Get it stamped. Oh...

39
00:02:44,460 --> 00:02:46,940
Pfft!

40
00:02:46,940 --> 00:02:52,140
See your selections? Erratic.
All over the place.

41
00:02:52,140 --> 00:02:54,980
Horseracing, then a boxing match.

42
00:02:54,980 --> 00:02:59,020
Then the Scotland game,
then back to horseracing?!

43
00:02:59,020 --> 00:03:03,700
You're fumblin' aboot in the dark!
How'd you make these selections?

44
00:03:03,700 --> 00:03:06,836
"I like the pretty patterns
on the jockey's jersey!"

45
00:03:06,841 --> 00:03:09,360
"Oh, there's a horse
called Darren's Fire!

46
00:03:09,380 --> 00:03:13,420
"My wee nephew's called Darren!"
Or the classic...

47
00:03:14,540 --> 00:03:19,540
What is it wi' you, Stevie? Eh?
Years I've been comin' in here!

48
00:03:19,540 --> 00:03:22,768
See, other punters come
and go without incident -

49
00:03:22,793 --> 00:03:25,660
"Well done, Brian,
there's your 40 quid!

50
00:03:25,660 --> 00:03:28,621
"Ah, Davie, nae luck!"
But wi' me, it's personal!

51
00:03:28,626 --> 00:03:31,680
You hate it when I win and
you love it when I lose!

52
00:03:31,700 --> 00:03:36,140
That's right! Money flows
into your till all day, Stevie,

53
00:03:36,140 --> 00:03:41,540
but that's not enough, is it? Wi' my money,
you have to gloat. A gloatin' bookie!

54
00:03:41,540 --> 00:03:44,298
That's unheard of
in the bookie world!

55
00:03:44,303 --> 00:03:48,520
You must be the worst bookie in Britain!
Right, Stevie boy,

56
00:03:48,540 --> 00:03:51,273
one day I'm gonna win,
and I'm gonna win big

57
00:03:51,298 --> 00:03:54,660
and you'll be gutted - in fact,
you'll be beyond gutted!

58
00:03:54,660 --> 00:03:57,291
And then I'll be the
one who's gloatin'!

59
00:03:57,296 --> 00:04:00,800
And boy, can I GLOAT, Stevie boy!
See me when I start!

60
00:04:00,820 --> 00:04:03,540
HE BECOMES LESS AUDIBLE

61
00:04:03,540 --> 00:04:06,660
You and this bookies arenae
worth a...!

62
00:04:07,380 --> 00:04:12,620
Ah! I hope you didnae mind -
I brought Tony with me, Jack.

63
00:04:12,620 --> 00:04:17,380
Er, Tony with the tinnies! Not
at all! In you come. Aye, right!

64
00:04:18,980 --> 00:04:20,340
Isa.

65
00:04:22,620 --> 00:04:25,900
Plastic plants, Isa.

66
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:36,140
You're lucky there, you old tit!
That's no luck, Tam! It's skill!

67
00:04:36,140 --> 00:04:40,380
Aw, shut it. Aye aye!
Hi, Shug! >

68
00:04:40,380 --> 00:04:44,620
And Tony too! Just in time
for a new hand. Uh-uh.

69
00:04:44,620 --> 00:04:47,620
Ruffle they cards again, Victor.

70
00:04:51,540 --> 00:04:54,780
There's only 51 there.
You've got a card missing.

71
00:04:55,780 --> 00:04:58,140
Um...

72
00:04:58,140 --> 00:05:01,460
Whoa! I do an' all!

73
00:05:01,460 --> 00:05:05,980
Told you.
DOORBELL

74
00:05:05,980 --> 00:05:07,300
Right, boys...

75
00:05:08,300 --> 00:05:12,500
Isa, what is it? Are you enjoying
your wee card game?

76
00:05:12,500 --> 00:05:18,220
That's right. A card game, aye. Wi' your
pals. Yes. I thought you might be hungry.

77
00:05:18,220 --> 00:05:24,020
Me and Agnes have done youse
a wee sandwich platter. Chicken roll,

78
00:05:24,020 --> 00:05:28,340
that's corned beef, a wee ham one,
and that's John West salmon.

79
00:05:29,820 --> 00:05:32,580
Come in.

80
00:05:35,980 --> 00:05:38,780
Isa.
THEY GROAN

81
00:05:38,780 --> 00:05:42,340
Sandwiches.
THEY CHEER

82
00:05:42,940 --> 00:05:46,140
DOORBELL
Shh! Hurry up! Hurry up!

83
00:05:54,420 --> 00:05:56,540
Raise.

84
00:05:58,100 --> 00:06:03,300
I cannae see ye. I've no' got the
money. I'll write you an IOU.

85
00:06:03,300 --> 00:06:07,020
Nope. If you cannae call me,
then you lose.

86
00:06:07,020 --> 00:06:12,100
I've got ye beat too! You think so?
Aye! I think so!

87
00:06:21,660 --> 00:06:23,740
ALL: Ohh!

88
00:06:23,740 --> 00:06:29,060
Must have a good haun, eh? A man
wouldnae bet his legs otherwise.

89
00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:31,540
What you got? Two pair.

90
00:06:31,540 --> 00:06:36,020
Aces over Jacks. Ohh, NICE!

91
00:06:37,260 --> 00:06:40,580
But it disnae beat...

92
00:06:40,580 --> 00:06:43,660
six titties.
ALL: NO!

93
00:06:47,860 --> 00:06:50,460
TAM LAUGHS

94
00:06:54,700 --> 00:06:56,900
It's comfy!

95
00:06:56,900 --> 00:07:00,100
Right, right. Gie Joe his keys back.

96
00:07:00,100 --> 00:07:04,220
Now, now, now. Come on.
A bet's a bet. Hey ho!

97
00:07:04,220 --> 00:07:08,780
Have a word wi' yourself! He's a
grown boy! He has to make a stand!

98
00:07:08,780 --> 00:07:13,580
So to speak. Joe, what you saying
tae it? He won it fair and square.

99
00:07:13,580 --> 00:07:15,960
Well, I think I'll
call it a night, Jack.

100
00:07:15,985 --> 00:07:19,020
You wouldnae get that door
for me, would you, please?

101
00:07:19,020 --> 00:07:21,340
(Jesus...)

102
00:07:21,340 --> 00:07:24,260
I don't believe this.

103
00:07:24,260 --> 00:07:28,340
Nighty-night, all!
BEEP!

104
00:07:28,340 --> 00:07:30,620
HE CACKLES

105
00:07:36,460 --> 00:07:39,300
Well, I'm done.

106
00:07:41,540 --> 00:07:45,100
Er... How you gonnae get hame, Joe?

107
00:07:45,100 --> 00:07:48,820
Could somebody gie us
a drag up the road?

108
00:07:53,220 --> 00:07:55,380
Ah, Jack, Victor.

109
00:07:55,380 --> 00:07:59,220
All right, Navid? 2oz of Drum.

110
00:07:59,220 --> 00:08:02,060
I heard about the big card game.

111
00:08:02,060 --> 00:08:06,140
Sounds gallus. Well, you're
welcome to join us. Poker, eh?

112
00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:10,260
The green baize, whether to raise,
whether to call. Oh, the tension.

113
00:08:10,260 --> 00:08:14,863
The splashing sound chips make as they're
thrown into the ever-growing pot.

114
00:08:14,888 --> 00:08:16,620
Someone wins, someone loses.

115
00:08:16,620 --> 00:08:21,180
When do you play next?
Thursday night. I'll be there!

116
00:08:23,860 --> 00:08:29,020
Oh, aye. That's right. Muslims don't
gamble. Nae gambling. Nae drinking.

117
00:08:29,020 --> 00:08:33,540
What a riot. Naw, we just sit about
the house playing Ker-Plunk!

118
00:08:33,540 --> 00:08:36,860
Shame, really. I could have done
with winning some new transport.

119
00:08:36,860 --> 00:08:41,940
Oh, heard about that, did you?
Aye. It's a bad business.

120
00:08:41,940 --> 00:08:44,500
Oh, incoming.

121
00:08:44,500 --> 00:08:48,580
Here we go. Away you go,
ye big bastard, ye.

122
00:08:48,580 --> 00:08:51,940
Why am I a big bastard?
...Oh, the buggy. Honestly gained.

123
00:08:51,940 --> 00:08:53,828
Oh, so you're keeping it, eh?

124
00:08:53,853 --> 00:08:58,060
You're keeping an invalid's buggy?
It's not an invalid's buggy.

125
00:08:58,060 --> 00:09:02,220
It's my buggy. What do you want
me to dae? Oh, Joe,

126
00:09:02,220 --> 00:09:05,337
I want your buggy, but take
it back - you're an invalid.

127
00:09:05,342 --> 00:09:08,160
You're no' right, you don't
know what you're doin'.

128
00:09:08,180 --> 00:09:09,977
Now, that would be patronising.

129
00:09:10,002 --> 00:09:14,500
By keeping Joe's buggy, I'm treatin'
him as an equal. And rightly so. Shite!

130
00:09:14,500 --> 00:09:21,180
Utter shite! Anyways, I got a bad knee,
especially in the winter. It's awfy sore.

131
00:09:21,180 --> 00:09:25,005
So if I didnae win this,
I'd have bought one anyway.

132
00:09:25,030 --> 00:09:27,820
I've worked in Craiglang
for 22 years,

133
00:09:27,820 --> 00:09:32,100
and I have seen some shite -
stabbings, murders, robberies,

134
00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:36,580
but this...THIS is the shitest
thing I have ever seen.

135
00:09:36,580 --> 00:09:41,300
An able-bodied man cutting aboot in
an invalid's buggy. You're low, Tam.

136
00:09:41,300 --> 00:09:43,980
Aye. Well said, Navid. Come on.

137
00:09:45,820 --> 00:09:48,140
Think on, Tam!

138
00:09:51,620 --> 00:09:56,460
How's she handle? Is she good?
Smashin'! Gies a shot! Aye, c'mon.

139
00:09:59,500 --> 00:10:04,580
Oi, you! Tam! C'mere, you miserable
bastard! What are you playin' at?!

140
00:10:04,580 --> 00:10:08,980
It's mine! It's legal and mine.
I won it in a card game!

141
00:10:08,980 --> 00:10:13,469
He'll not be gettin' it back.
Anyway, he's got a zimmer.

142
00:10:13,494 --> 00:10:16,644
You'll be needin' a
zimmer, ya bastard!

143
00:10:17,860 --> 00:10:23,300
Oh, impressive, Winston!
Shut up, you!

144
00:10:23,300 --> 00:10:29,540
Gimme that.
'Danny's Farm runs home...!' YES! YES!

145
00:10:29,540 --> 00:10:31,660
Ya dancer!

146
00:10:31,660 --> 00:10:34,330
Danny's Farm? You'll
have good odds on that.

147
00:10:34,335 --> 00:10:36,920
Big win? Not quite.
Part of an accumulator.

148
00:10:36,940 --> 00:10:41,020
Three up, three to go. Oh, three up,
three to go? What'll you win?

149
00:10:41,020 --> 00:10:43,041
If that accumulator comes up,

150
00:10:43,066 --> 00:10:47,524
I'll be able to buy everyone in
Craiglang one o' they buggies!

151
00:10:49,180 --> 00:10:52,100
Tam...

152
00:10:53,420 --> 00:10:56,260
Oh, I'll get them, Joe.

153
00:10:59,020 --> 00:11:03,260
It's a bastard right enough,
ain't it? So how you getting on?

154
00:11:03,260 --> 00:11:07,860
Aye, all right.
Can get about the flat an' that.

155
00:11:07,860 --> 00:11:11,620
I darenae go oot, though.
Cannae walk the length myself.

156
00:11:11,620 --> 00:11:17,060
Nae power in the old arms, you see.
That's how I need the buggy.

157
00:11:17,060 --> 00:11:20,860
Oh, what was I thinkin' of, eh?
Betting it.

158
00:11:20,860 --> 00:11:26,860
Well, he's had his fun. If he wanted
to learn me a lesson, I've learnt it.

159
00:11:27,860 --> 00:11:32,420
I need that buggy, boys.
Here, what year was this took?

160
00:11:32,420 --> 00:11:34,900
Um, 1948.

161
00:11:34,900 --> 00:11:38,700
Still got the shirt.

162
00:11:38,700 --> 00:11:40,900
It'll no' fit me noo, though.

163
00:11:40,900 --> 00:11:43,046
Aye, you'd some
speed on you, Joe.

164
00:11:43,051 --> 00:11:47,440
Mind that time the scout came to the
school? Oh! A foregone conclusion!

165
00:11:47,460 --> 00:11:50,340
Everybody knew you'd get picked.

166
00:11:50,340 --> 00:11:54,580
The rest of us couldnae
kick wur ain arses, sure!

167
00:11:59,140 --> 00:12:01,820
This is nae use, Jack.

168
00:12:01,820 --> 00:12:05,636
We're gonnae have to do something.
There's a thing, right enough.

169
00:12:05,661 --> 00:12:07,660
What's that?
I see my living room.

170
00:12:07,660 --> 00:12:12,900
Can ye? Yeah! Look!
That's my sideboard there, look.

171
00:12:12,900 --> 00:12:15,500
There.

172
00:12:15,500 --> 00:12:17,460
Oh, aye!

173
00:12:17,460 --> 00:12:20,260
VICTOR LAUGHS
Good, ain't it?

174
00:12:25,140 --> 00:12:27,620
Irene, what was the fight result
last night?

175
00:12:29,020 --> 00:12:31,913
It appears Crusher
Kerr has been crushed!

176
00:12:31,938 --> 00:12:35,220
Oh! Round Three! Plugged!
Who'd 'a thought it?!

177
00:12:35,220 --> 00:12:37,300
Wait a minute!

178
00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:39,540
Me'd 'a thought it!

179
00:12:39,540 --> 00:12:42,770
Four down, two to go!
My accumulator is accumulating!

180
00:12:42,775 --> 00:12:45,680
Get your calculator!
You're wasting your breath.

181
00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:49,780
That line is as dead as a dodo.
Scotland have nae chance tonight.

182
00:12:49,780 --> 00:12:54,980
Not very patriotic, that, is it,
Stevie boy? # Oh, flower of Scotland

183
00:12:54,980 --> 00:12:57,980
# When will we see this line again? #

184
00:13:00,380 --> 00:13:05,980
Right, what are we here for? Welcome
to Osprey Heights Pleasure Palace!

185
00:13:05,980 --> 00:13:10,180
What are you on about? We've turned
Jack's place into a gambling den,

186
00:13:10,180 --> 00:13:13,380
and that's how we'll get
that buggy back aff Tam.

187
00:13:13,660 --> 00:13:17,180
Frighten him to death
with that leopard? No, no.

188
00:13:17,180 --> 00:13:21,300
All the big casinos have got that.
That is what you call atmosphere,

189
00:13:21,300 --> 00:13:24,860
and that'll lure him in!
This, if you will, is the foyer!

190
00:13:24,860 --> 00:13:27,620
And that sort of suggests...

191
00:13:27,620 --> 00:13:30,500
er, Eastern...sort of...

192
00:13:30,500 --> 00:13:32,620
jungly... Mystery...

193
00:13:32,620 --> 00:13:34,660
Lobby...

194
00:13:34,660 --> 00:13:38,930
Anyway, you'll have to dae better if you
want to lure that buggy back aff Tam.

195
00:13:38,955 --> 00:13:40,660
He's practically married to it.

196
00:13:40,660 --> 00:13:44,020
Oh, aye? Here's where
he's divorcing it. Follow me! What?

197
00:13:45,620 --> 00:13:48,020
Jeez-o!

198
00:13:48,020 --> 00:13:52,740
Roulette?! Blackjack? And sandwiches,
and music, and drink!

199
00:13:52,740 --> 00:13:57,060
Soften him up, and he'll
be burstin' to gamble, sure!

200
00:13:57,060 --> 00:14:02,860
Right, ladies and gentlemen, that's all for
today. Thanks very much for your help.

201
00:14:02,860 --> 00:14:07,460
Oh, and can we all be here
by 8pm sharp tomorrow night?

202
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:10,940
Isa...

203
00:14:13,700 --> 00:14:16,140
Right. Sit down.

204
00:14:16,140 --> 00:14:20,140
Not there, please. Over here,
by the table. Oh, right.

205
00:14:23,020 --> 00:14:26,995
Now, Victor, would you be kind
enough to deal us two hands?

206
00:14:27,020 --> 00:14:29,380
Certainly, Jack! ...You're Tam.
Eh?

207
00:14:29,380 --> 00:14:32,173
You be Tam. What for?
Never mind what for.

208
00:14:32,178 --> 00:14:35,920
Just be Tam for a couple of minutes.
Right... Jack's Joe.

209
00:14:35,940 --> 00:14:41,020
I'm Joe. Can someone go and get
me a sandwich? I'd go myself,

210
00:14:41,020 --> 00:14:45,580
but I cannae, as I've not got
my buggy. That's plenty, Jack.

211
00:14:45,580 --> 00:14:49,260
PHONE RINGS
Ach! Who's THAT?!

212
00:14:54,820 --> 00:14:58,500
Hello? Double glazing, you say?

213
00:14:58,500 --> 00:15:03,540
Oh, no, are you daft?
I'm not interested! Good day!

214
00:15:10,180 --> 00:15:14,380
Oh, this is a very nice hand, yes.
Think yours is better?

215
00:15:14,380 --> 00:15:17,020
Aye, I do! Aye! Well, bet, then.

216
00:15:17,020 --> 00:15:22,460
Bet what? You're Tam. Er... 3p.

217
00:15:22,460 --> 00:15:26,620
No, the buggy! Right, I bet
the buggy. Good! What've you got?

218
00:15:26,620 --> 00:15:29,700
Ahem! Read 'em and weep...

219
00:15:29,700 --> 00:15:33,540
Three fours. Oh, that's good,
but it's not as good as...

220
00:15:33,540 --> 00:15:37,840
three sevens! I'm Joe, and
noo I've won my buggy back!

221
00:15:37,865 --> 00:15:40,444
Get it up you, Winston! Er, Tam.

222
00:15:41,620 --> 00:15:43,500
Very good. Very good.

223
00:15:43,500 --> 00:15:46,380
Confused? Aye. What's goin' on?

224
00:16:07,060 --> 00:16:10,460
WINSTON LAUGHS
A sting! Yes!

225
00:16:10,460 --> 00:16:12,770
That's magic.
When are we doing it?

226
00:16:12,795 --> 00:16:16,620
The morra night, 8 o'clock. Aye.
How do we get him up here?

227
00:16:16,620 --> 00:16:20,500
Hello, Navid! Hello, Eric.

228
00:16:21,380 --> 00:16:24,100
I'm gutted, Eric.

229
00:16:24,100 --> 00:16:28,420
How so, Navid? Here's me,
a Muslim, unable to play cards!

230
00:16:28,420 --> 00:16:33,220
A-ha! And Jack is having a smashing
night of gambling, music,

231
00:16:33,220 --> 00:16:36,140
sandwiches and drinks. I cannae go.

232
00:16:36,140 --> 00:16:40,500
Because you're a Muslim!
Aye, because I'm a Muslim.

233
00:16:40,500 --> 00:16:42,642
Will you be going?
That's right!

234
00:16:42,647 --> 00:16:47,240
Because I'm no' a Muslim, I can
drink and gmable as much as I like!

235
00:16:47,260 --> 00:16:51,260
Great!
(Aye, all right, don't rub it in!)

236
00:16:51,260 --> 00:16:56,060
Hello, Tam. You're no'
a Muslim, are ye? Naw.

237
00:16:56,060 --> 00:16:59,740
Will you be going to Jack's
the morra night? I don't know.

238
00:16:59,740 --> 00:17:04,900
I might. But I'll no' be gambling.
I've had my streak of luck. BEEP!

239
00:17:04,900 --> 00:17:10,820
Might see you the morra then. What
time's it starting? About 8, 8.30.

240
00:17:20,500 --> 00:17:24,020
Oh, Jesus. What's the matter?

241
00:17:24,020 --> 00:17:29,540
Winston's accumulator. Scotland won
last night. He's only got one more.

242
00:17:29,540 --> 00:17:35,380
If it comes up,
THAT'S what I'm owing him. £3,250?

243
00:17:35,380 --> 00:17:37,340
NAW!

244
00:17:37,340 --> 00:17:40,380
£32,500!

245
00:17:40,380 --> 00:17:44,580
Oh! So it is! What am I LIKE?!

246
00:17:56,060 --> 00:17:58,600
You've got a smile on
your face these days!

247
00:17:58,625 --> 00:18:01,684
Wait till you see me the morra!
Might get your hole!

248
00:18:11,300 --> 00:18:14,100
# Scotland! Sco-o-otland! #

249
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:18,700
You might be needin' that, Stevie
boy! You must be shitin' yourself!

250
00:18:18,700 --> 00:18:24,220
If Clerk Of The Court wins the morra,
that's you humped, Stevie! HUMPED!

251
00:18:24,220 --> 00:18:28,340
Clerk Of The Court!
I'll be watchin'!

252
00:18:30,020 --> 00:18:35,500
OK, now, shh! Now, I must say,
youse are lookin' smashing.

253
00:18:35,500 --> 00:18:39,620
Youse are. Eric, you'll be playin'
blackjack with Tony boy here.

254
00:18:39,620 --> 00:18:44,180
Eric, now and then, "Whoa! 21!"
as if you're winning!

255
00:18:44,180 --> 00:18:49,780
Isa, you know the score. Sandwiches.
Good atmosphere. # La, la, la, la! #

256
00:18:49,780 --> 00:18:53,500
Aye! Pete, you're in charge
of the drinks trolley.

257
00:18:54,700 --> 00:19:00,380
On second thoughts, Pete,
you deal the poker. PHONE RINGS

258
00:19:01,380 --> 00:19:06,660
'How's the view, Shug?' Fine and
dandy, Victor. Looks good over there.

259
00:19:06,660 --> 00:19:08,420
Good!

260
00:19:08,420 --> 00:19:12,940
You watch the door.
Winston, you're dealing.

261
00:19:12,940 --> 00:19:14,940
Right-o.

262
00:19:14,940 --> 00:19:19,696
Peggy, darlin', you're in charge of
records, so keep that music coming.

263
00:19:19,701 --> 00:19:22,120
We've all an important
part to play.

264
00:19:22,140 --> 00:19:27,300
If Tam suspects we're conning him,
that'll be it. The game'll be a bogey.

265
00:19:27,300 --> 00:19:31,220
If we get this right,
Joe goes hame in his buggy. So,

266
00:19:31,220 --> 00:19:37,820
above all... Tam's getting out the lift.
That's a go for Joe. A go for Joe!

267
00:19:37,820 --> 00:19:41,340
That's you to go now, Joe.

268
00:19:41,340 --> 00:19:46,780
Peggy, music. What d'you want?
Got some Frank Sinatra...

269
00:19:46,780 --> 00:19:52,100
Dean Martin... It disnae matter!
Play anything! All right!

270
00:19:54,460 --> 00:19:56,958
Evenin', Tam. Glad
you could make it.

271
00:19:56,983 --> 00:20:00,180
Lovely to see you.
Hello, Victor. Feeling lucky?

272
00:20:00,180 --> 00:20:05,220
Oh, no, I'm not gambling. Just being
social, eh? It's very nice, Jack!

273
00:20:05,220 --> 00:20:09,420
Can I take your coat, Tam?
Oh, thank you, darlin'. A wee drink?

274
00:20:09,420 --> 00:20:12,500
No, I'll no' bother.

275
00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:16,500
No, I'll take a Campari and soda.

276
00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:21,900
We've nae soda. You want lemonade?
No, I'll leave it.

277
00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:25,660
I'll take a can of lager,
then. Very good!

278
00:20:25,660 --> 00:20:27,740
Look at this!

279
00:20:27,740 --> 00:20:30,780
Do you think he's buyin' it?

280
00:20:31,780 --> 00:20:36,060
Aye, I do, aye. He's helping
himself to a sandwich.

281
00:20:36,060 --> 00:20:39,386
But he says he wasnae gonna
do any gambling, but.

282
00:20:39,391 --> 00:20:41,760
He'll be gambling in no time.
Look!

283
00:20:41,780 --> 00:20:48,940
Oh, Eric! The blackjack, eh? Aye, good!
Three quid up! Oh! Good lad! Eric!

284
00:20:48,940 --> 00:20:53,140
...Blackjack, ya beauty!
THEY ALL CHEER

285
00:20:53,140 --> 00:20:58,140
Smashin', that! Arthur, how
you gettin' on? Good! Real good!

286
00:20:58,140 --> 00:21:02,260
Having a high old time...
with the roulette.

287
00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:04,740
Ladies and gentlemen, Joe.

288
00:21:17,660 --> 00:21:20,860
Oh, I feel lucky tonight!

289
00:21:20,860 --> 00:21:23,620
Joe. Tam.

290
00:21:24,700 --> 00:21:28,940
Right, boys. Just plonk me over
there. I fancy a game of cards.

291
00:21:40,300 --> 00:21:42,860
Fancy a game, Tam?

292
00:21:55,620 --> 00:21:58,500
Aye... All right.

293
00:22:03,020 --> 00:22:06,820
Ready? Aye, ready!

294
00:22:08,540 --> 00:22:10,980
Wrong seat! Wrong seat!

295
00:22:10,980 --> 00:22:12,980
(Tam's in the wrong seat!)

296
00:22:14,980 --> 00:22:19,780
I think you might
be mair comfortable here, Tam.

297
00:22:25,260 --> 00:22:28,500
Ah, smashin'! Hello, Winston.

298
00:22:28,500 --> 00:22:31,380
Tam. You're the dealer, are you?

299
00:22:31,380 --> 00:22:36,540
I am, aye. You got a problem
with that? No... Good. Well, deal!

300
00:22:38,980 --> 00:22:44,660
Tell Isa to move her arse!
(Isa. Move your arse!)

301
00:22:47,220 --> 00:22:49,780
Oot the road!

302
00:23:08,060 --> 00:23:10,780
It's a pair of queens.

303
00:23:11,780 --> 00:23:14,740
A pair of threes!

304
00:23:31,500 --> 00:23:34,355
It's between you two now.
The net is closing!

305
00:23:34,380 --> 00:23:36,900
It'll happen right here, right now!
Aye!

306
00:23:36,900 --> 00:23:42,060
I cannae wait to see the look on his face!
(...Are you there, Shug?) Aye, I'm here!

307
00:23:42,060 --> 00:23:46,980
(What's he got?) Any second now -
he's got... BANGING ON DOOR

308
00:23:46,980 --> 00:23:51,449
(Shug! What's happenin'?)
There's somebody bangin' the door!

309
00:23:51,454 --> 00:23:53,480
(Ignore it. What's he got?)

310
00:23:53,500 --> 00:23:55,940
Oh... Er, er...

311
00:23:55,940 --> 00:23:58,420
Wait the noo! (SHUG!)

312
00:23:58,420 --> 00:24:00,180
(SHUG!)

313
00:24:00,180 --> 00:24:02,140
(SHUG!)

314
00:24:02,140 --> 00:24:05,180
Are you playing here, or what, Tam?

315
00:24:05,180 --> 00:24:10,420
Aye, aye, aye! It's gettin' a bit
breezy in here, d'you not think so?

316
00:24:10,420 --> 00:24:12,700
Oh...

317
00:24:23,380 --> 00:24:25,780
Raise.

318
00:24:25,780 --> 00:24:28,740
Er... What's all this about?

319
00:24:28,740 --> 00:24:30,940
I think you know what, sir.

320
00:24:30,940 --> 00:24:32,450
No, I dinna, I swear!

321
00:24:32,475 --> 00:24:36,980
We've had a report fae a woman in Osprey
Heights saying you were spying on her.

322
00:24:36,980 --> 00:24:42,300
Wi' binoculars. I was not! I was watching
a game of cards! Aye, right(!) Honest!

323
00:24:42,300 --> 00:24:48,340
See, we're trying to cheat Tam out of old
Joe's buggy. It WAS Joe's, but Tam won it.

324
00:24:48,340 --> 00:24:54,100
He's a bastard! That's how I need to be
lookin' in the windae. See for yourself!

325
00:24:55,100 --> 00:24:57,540
It's a card game.

326
00:25:01,940 --> 00:25:04,340
Nothin'. Eh?!

327
00:25:07,860 --> 00:25:11,100
HE GASPS
Aw, shite!

328
00:25:11,100 --> 00:25:16,740
I can prove it! I can prove it! Get
the cuffs on him. Naw, I can prove it!

329
00:25:18,540 --> 00:25:24,300
You've had a few minutes now, Tam.
What do you want to do?

330
00:25:24,300 --> 00:25:27,420
What to do? What to do...?

331
00:25:29,460 --> 00:25:32,220
Here's what I'm doin'.

332
00:25:34,340 --> 00:25:37,380
EVERYONE SIGHS AND GASPS

333
00:25:38,780 --> 00:25:42,100
Raise from Tam. Joe.

334
00:25:42,100 --> 00:25:46,460
What are you doin'?
What am I doin'?

335
00:25:47,660 --> 00:25:52,540
What am I doin'?! Fold! You have to fold!
You're sweatin'! You've got nothin'!

336
00:25:52,540 --> 00:25:57,180
You don't know what I've got! I know
what I've got, and that's got you sweatin'!

337
00:25:57,180 --> 00:25:59,980
See that...

338
00:25:59,980 --> 00:26:02,700
And raise you...

339
00:26:02,700 --> 00:26:05,500
Oh, Joe, not the watch!

340
00:26:05,500 --> 00:26:08,140
My father's watch!

341
00:26:10,740 --> 00:26:12,420
Mmm!

342
00:26:12,420 --> 00:26:15,540
That's a very nice timepiece, Joe!

343
00:26:15,540 --> 00:26:17,660
Aye...

344
00:26:17,660 --> 00:26:20,740
Okey dokey...

345
00:26:20,740 --> 00:26:26,340
I believe these
are what you're looking for.

346
00:26:26,340 --> 00:26:28,980
THEY ALL GROAN

347
00:26:29,980 --> 00:26:34,820
How very fitting you put a watch in,
Joe. Cos Joe... Watch!

348
00:26:34,820 --> 00:26:37,500
Two tens and two sevens -
full house!

349
00:26:40,700 --> 00:26:44,340
EIGHT TITTIES!

350
00:26:55,700 --> 00:26:58,060
Very good!

351
00:26:58,060 --> 00:27:00,740
Well done!

352
00:27:00,740 --> 00:27:05,220
I don't know how he's done that,
but I know this! I've been cheated!

353
00:27:05,220 --> 00:27:08,100
What you talkin' aboot, Tam?
It's a setup!

354
00:27:08,105 --> 00:27:11,160
The windaes! The cairds!
There's something...

355
00:27:11,180 --> 00:27:14,300
Ahem! Ladies and gentlemen, Shug!

356
00:27:14,300 --> 00:27:16,500
And two polis!

357
00:27:19,180 --> 00:27:22,580
What's goin' on here?!

358
00:27:22,580 --> 00:27:27,860
TAM LAUGHS Oh, I see, aye.
Joe wins back his buggy,

359
00:27:27,860 --> 00:27:31,700
then "the polis" break in
and bust up the card game, eh?

360
00:27:31,700 --> 00:27:36,020
I don't get a chance to win back
my buggy! Joe's buggy!

361
00:27:36,020 --> 00:27:38,380
It's good, aye! Very convincing!

362
00:27:38,380 --> 00:27:43,980
Except youse two! You are about 16,
and YOU are a bloody midget!

363
00:28:21,180 --> 00:28:26,140
COMMENTATOR: 'One furlong, it's rank
outsider Clerk Of The Court romping home,

364
00:28:26,140 --> 00:28:28,740
'and wins it by a length!'

365
00:28:51,060 --> 00:28:55,500
BASTA-A-ARD!