1 00:00:03,051 --> 00:00:04,943 Here's the product you'll be testing today. 2 00:00:05,068 --> 00:00:08,430 Let me guess, a new battery acid that we spray in our eyes. 3 00:00:08,555 --> 00:00:10,554 A new breath freshener made out of cat shit. 4 00:00:11,257 --> 00:00:12,969 It's a new pheromone spray. 5 00:00:13,138 --> 00:00:16,641 Pheromones are chemicals that trigger natural behaviors in animals. 6 00:00:17,085 --> 00:00:18,599 These are sexual pheromones, 7 00:00:18,724 --> 00:00:21,333 when used they will heighten sexual attraction. 8 00:00:21,647 --> 00:00:23,481 What animals are they meant to attract? 9 00:00:23,838 --> 00:00:24,814 Women. 10 00:00:24,983 --> 00:00:26,174 Dr, please... 11 00:00:26,706 --> 00:00:27,985 don't toy with this. 12 00:00:28,222 --> 00:00:29,681 This is the real deal. 13 00:00:30,113 --> 00:00:31,864 Powerful and very expensive. 14 00:00:33,190 --> 00:00:34,956 - What's in it? - Each bottle is made 15 00:00:35,081 --> 00:00:36,676 from the sweat glands of 1000 16 00:00:36,801 --> 00:00:40,757 silk worm moths known for attracting a mate using only their scent. 17 00:00:41,470 --> 00:00:44,001 A thousand, in one tiny bottle of perfume. 18 00:00:44,126 --> 00:00:45,818 - It's worth it. - You spray it on 19 00:00:45,943 --> 00:00:47,672 and women will be all over you. 20 00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,451 This is the antidote. 21 00:00:49,853 --> 00:00:52,343 It is the only thing that will remove the smell. 22 00:00:56,235 --> 00:00:58,579 I don't know why we invented it either. 23 00:00:58,704 --> 00:00:59,515 Go! 24 00:01:13,162 --> 00:01:14,262 Cheers guys. 25 00:01:15,165 --> 00:01:17,389 Kate, we gotta do something about this place, 26 00:01:17,514 --> 00:01:19,245 it's a total sausage party. 27 00:01:19,413 --> 00:01:22,707 - What can I do? Business is slow. - Maybe you should promote the place. 28 00:01:22,875 --> 00:01:24,753 I guess I could put an ad in the paper. 29 00:01:25,002 --> 00:01:27,513 Ad in the paper? Kate, print is dead. 30 00:01:27,838 --> 00:01:30,194 You need a video, something you could throw online. 31 00:01:30,319 --> 00:01:32,698 - You need me. - So you're a director now? 32 00:01:32,973 --> 00:01:36,007 You know more of an autuer really but I could have this place crawling 33 00:01:36,132 --> 00:01:39,754 with broads in no time, $1,000 all in. 34 00:01:41,316 --> 00:01:43,778 - What are you guys doing? - Do you feel any different? 35 00:01:43,903 --> 00:01:46,599 - Horny? - A stirring in your loins maybe? 36 00:01:46,773 --> 00:01:48,232 Come here and sniff my neck. 37 00:01:48,400 --> 00:01:51,235 We're testing a new cologne, it's supposed to drive women crazy. 38 00:01:56,909 --> 00:01:59,368 Oh my god... Okay Kate smell me, smell me. 39 00:02:00,946 --> 00:02:02,992 You guys are such idiots. 40 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:06,295 You want to make women horny, take a shower, 41 00:02:06,420 --> 00:02:09,420 get real jobs and pretend to care about their feelings. 42 00:02:09,914 --> 00:02:11,380 I'll stick with the spray. 43 00:02:12,322 --> 00:02:14,821 What's in this stuff anyway? Mothballs. 44 00:02:14,946 --> 00:02:17,048 - Kind of. - Well you have fun with this okay. 45 00:02:19,066 --> 00:02:21,553 - Thank you Kate. - Now my bar stinks. 46 00:02:22,467 --> 00:02:23,416 You need me. 47 00:02:23,541 --> 00:02:25,189 What do you know about commercials? 48 00:02:25,351 --> 00:02:28,432 Who else do you know that watches 14 hours of TV a day? 49 00:02:30,243 --> 00:02:33,363 It didn't work on Kate, what make you think it's going to work in here? 50 00:02:33,488 --> 00:02:34,984 I'm not giving up. 51 00:02:35,326 --> 00:02:38,532 I waited for a magic potion like this to come along my whole life 52 00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:40,898 Maybe we just didn't just enough of it. 53 00:02:41,023 --> 00:02:43,279 Maybe you're right. Screw the silk moths. 54 00:02:43,404 --> 00:02:46,128 - Maybe if we drank it. - Couldn't hurt. 55 00:02:46,701 --> 00:02:48,141 Give me some of that. 56 00:02:54,216 --> 00:02:56,661 Enjoy your last moments of being a loser. 57 00:02:58,929 --> 00:03:00,453 Tears commercial, take one. 58 00:03:17,726 --> 00:03:19,159 Now gimme a tear. 59 00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:31,877 Really good. Let me see you sniff it. 60 00:03:34,110 --> 00:03:35,760 Look up to the heavens. 61 00:03:36,078 --> 00:03:37,785 Why have I been forsaken? 62 00:03:38,218 --> 00:03:39,443 I'll tell you why. 63 00:03:39,568 --> 00:03:42,626 You found the girl and the best man doing the doggie 64 00:03:42,751 --> 00:03:44,285 in the back of the church. 65 00:03:44,410 --> 00:03:45,240 Cut! 66 00:03:46,549 --> 00:03:50,529 I'm giving your character back story. The name of the bar is Tears. 67 00:03:50,654 --> 00:03:52,835 Its where hot girls go when they get dumped. 68 00:03:52,960 --> 00:03:56,402 They drink here, they cry, then guys show up and bang them 69 00:03:56,570 --> 00:03:58,112 because they're on the rebound. 70 00:03:58,370 --> 00:04:01,244 - How much simpler do you need to get? - You need help! 71 00:04:10,364 --> 00:04:11,813 That looks nice. 72 00:04:12,628 --> 00:04:13,755 It's a good fit. 73 00:04:18,508 --> 00:04:21,182 - Damn it, its no use. - Come on, let's go. 74 00:04:21,870 --> 00:04:24,183 I knew it. I knew it. 75 00:04:34,164 --> 00:04:36,970 That's it, it doesn't work. Women are not attracted to us, 76 00:04:37,095 --> 00:04:40,036 we're still losers, just losers who smell. 77 00:04:40,721 --> 00:04:42,451 Why do the great products never work? 78 00:04:42,707 --> 00:04:43,957 Can we help you? 79 00:04:45,243 --> 00:04:47,911 What are you doing? Lady get off of me... 80 00:04:48,081 --> 00:04:49,714 Can I get some help here please. 81 00:04:50,706 --> 00:04:53,647 - Come on please, control yourself. - What is your problem? 82 00:04:54,585 --> 00:04:56,912 Ma'am should you be walking around here on your own? 83 00:04:57,037 --> 00:05:00,196 - Is there a safe place you should be? - Come on Pete, in the car. 84 00:05:05,002 --> 00:05:06,659 Oh my God, it's so sad. 85 00:05:07,350 --> 00:05:09,343 This is the problem with our health care system, 86 00:05:09,468 --> 00:05:10,938 right here banging on our window. 87 00:05:11,228 --> 00:05:13,687 Personally I blame the pharmaceutical companies. 88 00:05:13,855 --> 00:05:15,844 The prescriptions are just too expensive. 89 00:05:16,477 --> 00:05:19,647 - Shouldn't we call someone to help her? - There's nothing we can do. 90 00:05:20,021 --> 00:05:21,070 Let's go. 91 00:05:31,081 --> 00:05:33,783 No artsy crap, just point and shoot. 92 00:05:33,908 --> 00:05:36,440 - You can handle that? - I just want to go on the record, 93 00:05:36,565 --> 00:05:38,837 I think you're making a huge mistake here. 94 00:05:38,962 --> 00:05:41,003 - I'll remember that. - Ready? 95 00:05:41,573 --> 00:05:42,623 Hit record. 96 00:05:43,201 --> 00:05:45,427 And action. 97 00:05:46,021 --> 00:05:48,464 Welcome to Tears, the friendly upscale bar 98 00:05:48,589 --> 00:05:50,612 with a hip and exciting atmosphere. 99 00:05:50,737 --> 00:05:53,189 And starting this week, Friday is ladies'night. 100 00:05:54,934 --> 00:05:56,422 Nugget, I'm over here. 101 00:06:01,866 --> 00:06:04,049 We're not open, I'm sorry. 102 00:06:06,657 --> 00:06:08,172 Why are they walking like that? 103 00:06:08,297 --> 00:06:10,122 I don't know. What are they sniffing at? 104 00:06:11,884 --> 00:06:14,036 See it wasn't a total loss. 105 00:06:14,161 --> 00:06:17,854 You know I'm not kidding when I say this is the best hotdog in the city. 106 00:06:17,979 --> 00:06:21,338 - I love how you grill them. - That's nice of you to say. Hot sauce? 107 00:06:21,629 --> 00:06:23,382 No thank you, just got the hiccups. 108 00:06:26,462 --> 00:06:28,701 If they can make a perfume that smells like these hotdogs, 109 00:06:28,826 --> 00:06:30,300 no one could resist. 110 00:06:32,028 --> 00:06:33,970 Its not like we need women to smell nice. 111 00:06:34,095 --> 00:06:36,070 You kidding me, I'd have sex with a hot girl 112 00:06:36,195 --> 00:06:37,945 who's covered in dog shit. 113 00:06:41,101 --> 00:06:42,834 Get off, get off, get of me. 114 00:06:42,959 --> 00:06:43,986 Get of him. 115 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:48,198 What are you doing? Get back, get back. 116 00:06:55,552 --> 00:06:58,709 Come on Ron, we gotta run, get out of here. 117 00:07:09,798 --> 00:07:13,294 One minute the hotdog lady is normal the next she's attacking you. 118 00:07:13,419 --> 00:07:15,935 It's got to be the pheromone spray, it works. 119 00:07:16,060 --> 00:07:18,497 Ng said that it would drive women crazy. 120 00:07:18,622 --> 00:07:22,409 Only it doesn't seem to work on hot babes, just, heavier ladies. 121 00:07:22,534 --> 00:07:25,273 With unibrows and facial hair and broad shoulders. 122 00:07:25,398 --> 00:07:27,491 Lets just say it, it only works on ugly chicks. 123 00:07:27,965 --> 00:07:30,032 I'd rather say less attractive women. 124 00:07:30,544 --> 00:07:32,951 That must be why it didn't work on Kate. 125 00:07:34,496 --> 00:07:36,458 I dropped a whole bottle of perfume in her bar. 126 00:07:37,488 --> 00:07:38,650 Call her! 127 00:07:55,033 --> 00:07:56,141 What is this man? 128 00:07:56,310 --> 00:07:58,063 Why are they attacking? What do they want? 129 00:07:58,285 --> 00:08:01,063 I know what they want, I'm not letting them have any of it. 130 00:08:01,515 --> 00:08:03,092 I saw the look in their eyes. 131 00:08:03,217 --> 00:08:05,505 It's like they're not in control of themselves. 132 00:08:05,630 --> 00:08:07,528 - We have to get out of here. - How? 133 00:08:07,964 --> 00:08:09,932 Look around us, we're trapped. 134 00:08:10,467 --> 00:08:11,912 Did you here that? 135 00:08:12,626 --> 00:08:15,931 - What are we going to do? - Why are you filme me? 136 00:08:16,211 --> 00:08:17,553 I can't believe it, 137 00:08:18,988 --> 00:08:20,460 they're probably already dead. 138 00:08:20,854 --> 00:08:21,855 I know, 139 00:08:22,499 --> 00:08:23,511 I know, it's sad. 140 00:08:23,944 --> 00:08:26,714 - There's nothing we could have done. - We could've tried Ron. 141 00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:28,078 How? How? 142 00:08:28,203 --> 00:08:29,903 Go out there with those things? 143 00:08:31,417 --> 00:08:32,862 It's too dangerous. 144 00:08:33,495 --> 00:08:36,691 Stay here, that's what they would have wanted. 145 00:08:37,349 --> 00:08:38,427 You're right. 146 00:08:38,891 --> 00:08:39,685 Guys? 147 00:08:44,034 --> 00:08:45,034 Guys? 148 00:08:46,521 --> 00:08:50,403 - Kate is that you? - Yeah, and Nugget's here too. 149 00:08:50,573 --> 00:08:53,705 There are these things in the bar, these women... 150 00:08:53,830 --> 00:08:55,783 They were really ugly guys. 151 00:08:56,095 --> 00:08:57,368 Get out of there. 152 00:09:04,683 --> 00:09:05,460 Come on. 153 00:09:06,105 --> 00:09:07,215 - I can't - What? 154 00:09:07,381 --> 00:09:09,856 - I'm not good in small places. - You have to. 155 00:09:09,981 --> 00:09:11,895 I can't, okay, I just can't. 156 00:09:13,666 --> 00:09:15,076 On the other hand... 157 00:09:33,233 --> 00:09:34,709 You're all right. 158 00:09:36,458 --> 00:09:38,194 Nugget, let's go buddy. 159 00:09:38,319 --> 00:09:40,154 What the hell's going on man? 160 00:09:40,279 --> 00:09:43,165 You know that spray from Testico that makes us irresistible to women? 161 00:09:43,501 --> 00:09:45,261 It looks like it works... 162 00:09:45,774 --> 00:09:47,653 This vent is connected to the men's room, 163 00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:50,088 No wonder this apartment smells like piss. 164 00:09:56,412 --> 00:09:59,919 Guys its not big deal, like I have standards of course, 165 00:10:00,044 --> 00:10:02,583 but you two, it's not like you're Calvin Klein models. 166 00:10:02,708 --> 00:10:05,074 You should look at this situation a little differently. 167 00:10:05,199 --> 00:10:07,793 Are you saying that we should be cool with the fact 168 00:10:07,918 --> 00:10:10,339 that brain dead bearded women are trying to rape us? 169 00:10:11,086 --> 00:10:13,062 We're always chasing after women, 170 00:10:13,306 --> 00:10:15,044 now they're chasing after us. 171 00:10:15,169 --> 00:10:16,769 Maybe we should stop running 172 00:10:16,894 --> 00:10:18,909 and just let them have their way with us. 173 00:10:19,215 --> 00:10:20,484 How bad could it be? 174 00:10:20,745 --> 00:10:23,756 Beauty is only skin deep right. Are we that shallow? 175 00:10:38,773 --> 00:10:42,350 - Man that was close. - You two led them right to us. 176 00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,049 - Sure its our fault. - What are we going to do now? 177 00:10:45,174 --> 00:10:47,158 There's got to be some way to stop them. 178 00:10:47,283 --> 00:10:49,063 An antidote. There's an antidote. 179 00:10:49,396 --> 00:10:50,693 Go call Testico. 180 00:10:57,670 --> 00:10:58,782 Its ringing. 181 00:10:59,709 --> 00:11:02,076 Hello, yes, thank god we need your help. 182 00:11:04,997 --> 00:11:07,873 - What happened? - The line went dead. 183 00:11:20,118 --> 00:11:21,422 Still out there. 184 00:11:22,860 --> 00:11:25,891 They're in the hallways, they're outside, they're everywhere. 185 00:11:26,457 --> 00:11:27,772 What are we going to do? 186 00:11:27,897 --> 00:11:29,813 There's not way for all of us to escape. 187 00:11:29,981 --> 00:11:31,478 We can't just stay here Peter. 188 00:11:32,207 --> 00:11:34,030 - They'll get in eventually. - I know. 189 00:11:34,155 --> 00:11:35,583 What are you saying? 190 00:11:36,396 --> 00:11:40,025 Pass me that bottle of sherry, I have a plan. 191 00:11:57,155 --> 00:11:59,461 - You really want to do this? - It's the only way. 192 00:11:59,586 --> 00:12:00,968 - But Peter... - No but... 193 00:12:01,582 --> 00:12:03,731 When I get out they'll be distracted long enough 194 00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:07,517 long enough for you all to escape, get to Testico, get the antidote. 195 00:12:07,815 --> 00:12:10,905 This is the bravest, most noble things anyone's ever done. 196 00:12:11,321 --> 00:12:14,153 - You're my best friend Pete. - Thank you Ron. 197 00:12:14,789 --> 00:12:15,900 You're a hero. 198 00:12:22,642 --> 00:12:23,892 How you feeling? 199 00:12:24,246 --> 00:12:27,596 One more glass and I'll have my beer goggles on. 200 00:12:28,145 --> 00:12:29,810 God I hope this works. 201 00:12:29,935 --> 00:12:33,502 Don't worry, I'm so drunk that those women out there should look... 202 00:12:35,520 --> 00:12:36,520 okay. 203 00:12:41,242 --> 00:12:42,404 Any last words? 204 00:12:45,324 --> 00:12:46,324 Do it. 205 00:12:54,089 --> 00:12:56,166 Oh god, no, I'm not drunk enough! 206 00:13:03,104 --> 00:13:06,053 - Promise you'll come back for me. - I promise. 207 00:13:29,481 --> 00:13:30,724 Cool it guys! 208 00:13:45,340 --> 00:13:47,325 Oh man, this is messed up. 209 00:13:47,494 --> 00:13:50,105 It's no use, we're never going to make it. You have to go on your own. 210 00:13:50,230 --> 00:13:52,292 - What? - You have to. 211 00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:54,108 Nugget and I will create a distraction. 212 00:13:54,233 --> 00:13:55,040 A what? 213 00:13:55,210 --> 00:13:58,345 When they come out for us you get in the car and go. 214 00:13:58,771 --> 00:14:00,828 - I don't know. - We're counting on you. 215 00:14:00,953 --> 00:14:03,758 - Maybe I should go with Ron. - Take this. 216 00:14:09,294 --> 00:14:12,225 - Come on. - Come on you bitches! 217 00:14:13,621 --> 00:14:16,131 That's it, follow the light. 218 00:14:17,252 --> 00:14:18,565 Come on, come on, start. 219 00:14:18,734 --> 00:14:20,487 That's it, you like the light. 220 00:14:22,695 --> 00:14:25,070 - Shit! - Come on Nugget, move. 221 00:14:26,025 --> 00:14:27,275 Come on, start! 222 00:14:45,083 --> 00:14:46,509 I got an idea. 223 00:14:58,675 --> 00:14:59,734 This way. 224 00:15:33,451 --> 00:15:35,398 Perfect. Look at this. 225 00:15:41,584 --> 00:15:43,333 This was your idea, the roof? 226 00:15:44,222 --> 00:15:46,320 - Why? - There's only one way up. 227 00:15:47,108 --> 00:15:49,031 We'll be safe until the helicopters come. 228 00:15:49,156 --> 00:15:52,137 - Helicopters? - The army should be here soon. 229 00:15:52,262 --> 00:15:53,262 Army? 230 00:15:54,374 --> 00:15:57,049 They'll pick us up and then they'll napalm the rest of the city. 231 00:15:57,174 --> 00:15:58,331 That's how it works. 232 00:16:23,851 --> 00:16:26,067 Please don't make me... 233 00:16:26,374 --> 00:16:27,430 Rape you? 234 00:16:27,555 --> 00:16:30,155 What would I want with a skinny little bug eyed twerp like you? 235 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:31,363 Thank god. 236 00:16:32,243 --> 00:16:34,804 I think I need to go to the hospital. 237 00:16:34,992 --> 00:16:36,183 Sorry about that. 238 00:16:36,308 --> 00:16:39,209 I got a friend who needs me, it's not too late. 239 00:16:40,243 --> 00:16:41,624 My name is Charles Nugget, 240 00:16:42,122 --> 00:16:46,313 approximately 4 hours ago, we were attacked by several ugly women. 241 00:16:46,438 --> 00:16:49,757 If you found this tape, I mean, if you're watching it now, 242 00:16:49,926 --> 00:16:52,151 - we're probably dead. - Open the door. 243 00:16:52,276 --> 00:16:54,221 You know more about these women than we do. 244 00:16:54,346 --> 00:16:56,690 Don't open it! I don't care. 245 00:17:18,707 --> 00:17:19,726 This is amazing. 246 00:17:19,851 --> 00:17:22,111 - Can you believe this footage? - Nugget, I'm mixed. 247 00:17:22,236 --> 00:17:24,416 I want to congratulate you but at the same time, 248 00:17:24,541 --> 00:17:27,096 it's a little awkward watching my graphic sexual assault 249 00:17:27,221 --> 00:17:28,174 over and over. 250 00:17:28,339 --> 00:17:30,005 Come on Peter, you look great. 251 00:17:30,130 --> 00:17:32,366 - The camera loves you. - You think? 252 00:17:33,668 --> 00:17:35,469 So the spray didn't really work. 253 00:17:35,638 --> 00:17:37,171 No, actually it kind of did. 254 00:17:37,296 --> 00:17:40,150 Apparently in silk worm moths the gender roles are reversed, 255 00:17:40,275 --> 00:17:42,378 so they attract females who are aggressive, 256 00:17:42,517 --> 00:17:45,017 hairy and well mannish, it's what they're into. 257 00:17:45,142 --> 00:17:46,857 This is a great commercial. 258 00:17:46,982 --> 00:17:49,372 Its clearly viral, evocative, 259 00:17:49,497 --> 00:17:51,550 people are going to talk about this spot. 260 00:17:51,845 --> 00:17:53,713 It would have been a great commercial, 261 00:17:53,838 --> 00:17:56,001 if you wouldn't have burned down my bar. 262 00:17:56,126 --> 00:17:59,244 I'm sorry, okay. I'm just not good with flares. 263 00:18:00,283 --> 00:18:01,847 Want to watch it again? 9999 00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00 www.tvsubtitles.net