1 00:00:03,085 --> 00:00:05,424 Hello? 'Steve, it's Rob.' 2 00:00:05,425 --> 00:00:06,544 Oh, hey, hey... 3 00:00:06,545 --> 00:00:08,064 'How's the show going?' 4 00:00:08,065 --> 00:00:10,664 Just finished. Just started the hiatus. 5 00:00:10,665 --> 00:00:12,304 'Yeah, I know, I spoke to your agent. 6 00:00:12,305 --> 00:00:14,944 'Listen, the Observer wants us to do more restaurant reviews - 7 00:00:14,945 --> 00:00:16,184 'six lunches.' Really? 8 00:00:16,185 --> 00:00:18,624 'But this time in Italy - 9 00:00:18,625 --> 00:00:20,944 'la bella Italia, yeah? 10 00:00:20,945 --> 00:00:22,784 'What do you think?' Well, erm... 11 00:00:22,785 --> 00:00:24,784 And they'll fly you to Europe. First class? 12 00:00:24,785 --> 00:00:27,425 'No, they're offering business.' 13 00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:34,424 Ciao, bellissima. Hey, how are you? 14 00:00:34,425 --> 00:00:36,704 'I'm OK, sort of. Chloe's still awake.' 15 00:00:36,705 --> 00:00:37,904 What? 16 00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:39,784 'I can't get her to go to sleep.' 17 00:00:39,785 --> 00:00:41,544 Hello. 'Hey, Dad.' 18 00:00:41,545 --> 00:00:45,864 Hey, so... Ibiza, party central. 19 00:00:45,865 --> 00:00:49,264 Where are all the girls in bikinis with whistles 20 00:00:49,265 --> 00:00:52,304 round their necks, jumping up and down? 21 00:00:52,305 --> 00:00:53,744 'Yeah, all of them.' 22 00:00:54,173 --> 00:00:57,012 Does she miss her papa? Stick her on, I'll say good night to her. 23 00:00:57,013 --> 00:00:58,572 'No, I don't think that will help. 24 00:00:58,573 --> 00:01:01,012 'I think it'll only make it worse, Rob.' All right. 25 00:01:01,013 --> 00:01:03,932 'She's crying again. I'm sorry, I've got to go, darling.' 26 00:01:03,933 --> 00:01:06,292 'It would probably be more fun if there were, you know, 27 00:01:06,293 --> 00:01:08,732 'more people my age there, if my friends were here. 28 00:01:08,733 --> 00:01:11,092 'But, you know, they're all off in London having fun. 29 00:01:11,093 --> 00:01:13,732 'I'm stuck here by myself. I'm 16. 30 00:01:13,733 --> 00:01:16,612 'Mum keeps treating me like I'm a child. 31 00:01:16,613 --> 00:01:19,092 'I'm old enough to join the army 32 00:01:19,093 --> 00:01:21,212 'and according to her I'm not old enough 33 00:01:21,213 --> 00:01:22,812 'to just be at home by myself.' 34 00:01:22,813 --> 00:01:24,012 Yeah, well, I think 35 00:01:24,013 --> 00:01:27,012 they should raise the age level for entry to the army, actually. 36 00:01:27,013 --> 00:01:29,813 All right then, so long, love. Bye-bye. 'Bye.' Bye. 37 00:01:33,413 --> 00:01:35,253 Ciao, bellissima. 38 00:01:36,373 --> 00:01:37,893 Ciao, bellissima. 39 00:01:38,933 --> 00:01:40,413 Que bella ragazza. 40 00:01:42,013 --> 00:01:44,052 Que bella ragazza. 41 00:01:44,053 --> 00:01:47,932 Oh - huh! - ciao, bellissimo. 42 00:01:47,933 --> 00:01:51,372 Que bella - yeah! - ragazza! 43 00:01:51,373 --> 00:01:54,332 AS TOM JONES: # Huh, think I'd better dance now. # 44 00:01:54,333 --> 00:02:00,092 Que bella - what a beautiful - huh, ragazza - girl. 45 00:02:00,093 --> 00:02:03,652 Huh, I think you've got a wonderful tone to your voice 46 00:02:03,653 --> 00:02:07,373 and I want you on my team, oh. 47 00:02:09,653 --> 00:02:11,492 Did you sleep well? 48 00:02:11,493 --> 00:02:13,292 Yeah, like a baby. 49 00:02:13,293 --> 00:02:15,852 I didn't. Terrible dreams. 50 00:02:15,853 --> 00:02:19,412 I think it was the sound of the waves hitting the rocks. 51 00:02:19,413 --> 00:02:20,852 Awful. 52 00:02:20,853 --> 00:02:22,372 What did you dream about? 53 00:02:22,373 --> 00:02:27,093 I dreamt I was in a huge toilet bowl, being constantly flushed. 54 00:02:28,653 --> 00:02:31,173 Yeah, I wouldn't read too much into that. 55 00:02:33,653 --> 00:02:36,492 I mustered once on a boat, hit a rock, yeah. Really? 56 00:02:36,493 --> 00:02:38,012 I had to muster. Seriously, we had 57 00:02:38,013 --> 00:02:40,292 to go up onto the deck with our lifejackets on. 58 00:02:40,293 --> 00:02:42,852 You went to, like, a muster station with your lifejacket on? 59 00:02:42,853 --> 00:02:45,772 Yes. Wow! Yes and the worst thing about it was, 60 00:02:45,773 --> 00:02:48,092 all the crew members were running down corridors... 61 00:02:48,093 --> 00:02:49,452 Oh, my God! Which is terrifying, 62 00:02:49,453 --> 00:02:51,612 because you don't ever want to see that. 63 00:02:51,613 --> 00:02:53,812 No, it's like when you see an air stewardess crying. 64 00:02:53,813 --> 00:02:56,132 Yes... have you seen an air stewardess crying? 65 00:02:56,133 --> 00:02:59,893 Yeah. Nothing to do with the flight, though, was it? No, nothing to do with the flight. 66 00:03:02,413 --> 00:03:05,012 OK. OK... right. 67 00:03:05,013 --> 00:03:07,012 Permission to come aboard? 68 00:03:07,013 --> 00:03:08,773 Sorry, I don't need any help... 69 00:03:10,893 --> 00:03:12,533 OK. That's fine. 70 00:03:14,853 --> 00:03:16,652 Great. OK? 71 00:03:16,653 --> 00:03:17,972 Yeah, fine, thank you. 72 00:03:17,973 --> 00:03:19,413 If you just step... yeah. 73 00:03:20,733 --> 00:03:22,453 OK. Bloody hell. Palaver! 74 00:03:23,933 --> 00:03:27,052 Is this the actual boat? 75 00:03:27,053 --> 00:03:30,372 Cos... I was expecting something a big bigger. 76 00:03:30,373 --> 00:03:33,692 Little smaller than I was expecting as well - I'll be very honest with you. 77 00:03:33,693 --> 00:03:36,932 Look at that! Wow! 78 00:03:36,933 --> 00:03:38,772 This is our boat, Patience. 79 00:03:38,773 --> 00:03:40,452 Patience is a virtue. 80 00:03:40,453 --> 00:03:41,493 That is beautiful! 81 00:04:11,013 --> 00:04:13,412 I can't really see the waves so I have to... 82 00:04:13,413 --> 00:04:15,212 You just have to work like a Jedi. 83 00:04:15,213 --> 00:04:17,573 Trust your feeling, all right? Just trust it. 84 00:04:18,933 --> 00:04:23,652 Why don't you close your eyes, Steve, and merely feel the waves? 85 00:04:23,653 --> 00:04:26,572 A true Jedi doesn't need to see the waves. 86 00:04:26,573 --> 00:04:28,372 Is that what the Jedis do? 87 00:04:28,373 --> 00:04:31,292 Yes. Because I can fight with a light stick. They do the lightsaber. 88 00:04:31,293 --> 00:04:33,492 That has got to be a violation of health and safety! 89 00:04:33,493 --> 00:04:37,332 Hi. Oh, hello. Thank you. This is lovely. 90 00:04:37,333 --> 00:04:40,052 It's a lovely boat, a lovely way to travel. 91 00:04:40,053 --> 00:04:44,532 Yeah, so, the first stop is San Fruttuoso, where you'll have lunch. 92 00:04:44,533 --> 00:04:46,932 "My soul is an enchanted boat 93 00:04:46,933 --> 00:04:49,532 "Which like a sleeping swan doth float 94 00:04:49,533 --> 00:04:52,172 "Upon the silver waves of thy sweet singing 95 00:04:52,173 --> 00:04:54,492 "Thine doth like an angel sit 96 00:04:54,493 --> 00:04:57,172 "Beside the helm conducting it 97 00:04:57,173 --> 00:05:00,252 "While all the trees with melody are ringing." 98 00:05:00,253 --> 00:05:02,932 That's Shelley, read by Burton. 99 00:05:02,933 --> 00:05:06,652 Rob can't do poems in his own voice because he lacks conviction. 100 00:05:06,653 --> 00:05:09,172 AS ALAN BENNETT: "My soul is an enchanted boat 101 00:05:09,173 --> 00:05:12,092 "Which like a sleeping swan doth float 102 00:05:12,093 --> 00:05:15,533 "Upon the silver waves of thy sweet singing." 103 00:05:30,733 --> 00:05:32,572 Are you going to have some wine? 104 00:05:32,573 --> 00:05:35,892 No, thank you. Are you sure? No, grazie. A little bit? 105 00:05:35,893 --> 00:05:37,693 No. 106 00:05:52,973 --> 00:05:54,852 Grazie mille. Oh, oh... 107 00:05:54,853 --> 00:05:56,372 Look at this? Lovely. 108 00:05:56,373 --> 00:05:57,932 50,000 Leagues Under The Sea. 109 00:05:57,933 --> 00:06:01,092 It is a bit... It's very Jules Verne, the starter, I have to say, yeah. 110 00:06:01,093 --> 00:06:02,532 We're squids in. 111 00:06:02,533 --> 00:06:04,012 Squids in, six quid. 112 00:06:04,013 --> 00:06:05,813 Oh, I've got the squids. 113 00:06:08,533 --> 00:06:10,092 Very nice, isn't she, Lucy? 114 00:06:10,093 --> 00:06:11,532 Mmm. 115 00:06:11,533 --> 00:06:13,532 Not the squid - Lucy. 116 00:06:13,533 --> 00:06:14,892 Mmm... mmm. 117 00:06:14,893 --> 00:06:17,852 Oh, oh... look at that. 118 00:06:17,853 --> 00:06:21,893 Don't... Don't scare him. Oh, you had to scare him. 119 00:06:23,053 --> 00:06:25,572 "To crush a butterfly upon a wheel." 120 00:06:25,573 --> 00:06:27,372 "A dream we all share." 121 00:06:27,373 --> 00:06:29,293 Alexander Pope. Of course. 122 00:06:31,813 --> 00:06:33,772 It's not very authentic, though, is it? 123 00:06:33,773 --> 00:06:35,652 Hanging out with some Sloane ranger. 124 00:06:35,653 --> 00:06:37,372 If you look at Shelley and Byron, 125 00:06:37,373 --> 00:06:40,092 they were always staying with English people, all the expats. 126 00:06:40,093 --> 00:06:41,932 That's how it was, you see. 127 00:06:41,933 --> 00:06:45,772 You know, when you're in LA, I bet you are down at Soho House 128 00:06:45,773 --> 00:06:48,652 watching football on the telly with Robbie Williams. 129 00:06:48,653 --> 00:06:50,452 A - I don't like football. 130 00:06:50,453 --> 00:06:52,453 'Ey! 'Ey! BOTH: I don't like football. 131 00:06:53,613 --> 00:06:57,132 B... Yeah. Be what? Be who you are? Be true to yourself? 132 00:06:57,133 --> 00:07:00,412 A - I don't like football. B - true to yourself. 133 00:07:00,413 --> 00:07:04,052 See what I did there. Yeah, very good, you're a wordsmith. 134 00:07:04,053 --> 00:07:07,092 D - 'pend on me to come up with more of these. E... 135 00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:08,812 Why'd you miss C? 136 00:07:08,813 --> 00:07:11,452 I didn't, I said "C what I did there?" You're not listening. 137 00:07:11,453 --> 00:07:12,932 Oh, that is good, yeah. 138 00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,172 Dear, dear me. 139 00:07:14,173 --> 00:07:17,652 I can see why they want you for Radio 4 panel shows. Thank you. You're a demon. 140 00:07:17,653 --> 00:07:19,612 No, I don't hang out with Robbie Williams. 141 00:07:19,613 --> 00:07:22,212 When I am in LA, I do what Byron actually did 142 00:07:22,213 --> 00:07:24,892 when he was travelling, which was hang out with local people. 143 00:07:24,893 --> 00:07:28,652 Matt Stone, Trey Parker, Matthew Perry, Owen Wilson... 144 00:07:28,653 --> 00:07:32,012 You hang out with Owen Wilson or you occasionally work with Owen Wilson? 145 00:07:32,013 --> 00:07:34,252 I know you've been a miniature soldier with him, 146 00:07:34,253 --> 00:07:36,732 but do you actually hang out with him? 147 00:07:36,733 --> 00:07:38,452 We run together on the beach. 148 00:07:38,453 --> 00:07:40,372 Is he aware that you're running? 149 00:07:40,373 --> 00:07:43,092 Is he running away from you? I mean, there's a distinction here. 150 00:07:43,093 --> 00:07:45,732 I could say I've been running on the beach with Robert De Niro. 151 00:07:45,733 --> 00:07:47,452 When, in fact, I'm furiously chasing 152 00:07:47,453 --> 00:07:50,292 after him and he's running for his life... What are you doing there? 153 00:07:50,293 --> 00:07:53,332 Just having a little wine. You know, when in Rome... 154 00:07:53,333 --> 00:07:56,572 Wow! In Italy. I'm your enabler. 155 00:07:56,573 --> 00:07:57,773 Yeah. 156 00:07:59,253 --> 00:08:01,812 I'd love to talk to some of these locals. 157 00:08:01,813 --> 00:08:05,332 Byron said, "I love the language, that bastard Latin 158 00:08:05,333 --> 00:08:08,372 "That melts like kisses from a female mouth 159 00:08:08,373 --> 00:08:11,012 "It sounds as if it should be writ on satin 160 00:08:11,013 --> 00:08:14,652 "With syllables that breathe of the sweet South." 161 00:08:14,653 --> 00:08:16,532 She's nice, though, Lucy. 162 00:08:16,533 --> 00:08:19,012 She's all right. She's just a posh girl working on a boat. 163 00:08:19,013 --> 00:08:21,932 She's basically the nautical equivalent of a chalet girl. 164 00:08:21,933 --> 00:08:24,892 Go round Chelsea, chuck a stick - you'll hit ten of them. 165 00:08:24,893 --> 00:08:27,092 You've been warned about that, haven't you? 166 00:08:27,093 --> 00:08:29,652 "Steve Coogan has been arrested for 167 00:08:29,653 --> 00:08:33,652 "chucking sticks at Sloane women in Chelsea." 168 00:08:33,653 --> 00:08:36,012 We'd know what sort of a story that was, right? 169 00:08:36,013 --> 00:08:38,532 Yeah. Purely from the intonation. 170 00:08:38,533 --> 00:08:42,412 If they say, "The actor and comedian Steve Coogan..." 171 00:08:42,413 --> 00:08:44,532 it's going to be good news. Yeah. 172 00:08:44,533 --> 00:08:47,252 OK? Then there's if you've died. 173 00:08:47,253 --> 00:08:51,932 Yeah. "The actor and comedian Steve Coogan..." 174 00:08:51,933 --> 00:08:54,733 The one you don't want is this... ready? 175 00:08:55,933 --> 00:08:58,892 "The actor and comedian Steve Coogan..." 176 00:08:58,893 --> 00:09:01,893 Oh, no! God, what has he done now? Oh, my God! 177 00:09:04,613 --> 00:09:08,132 See that Roman Polanski film with Pierce Brosnan playing the prime minister, 178 00:09:08,133 --> 00:09:09,412 Tony Blair, sort of, war crimes? 179 00:09:09,413 --> 00:09:11,692 It was, sort of, an Iraq war thing, you know? 180 00:09:11,693 --> 00:09:14,452 "The name's Bond, James Bond, 007 licensed to kill." 181 00:09:14,453 --> 00:09:16,452 But he plays Tony Blair in this? 182 00:09:16,453 --> 00:09:17,732 "My name's Blair, Tony Blair." 183 00:09:17,733 --> 00:09:19,172 Tony Blair. 184 00:09:19,173 --> 00:09:21,612 "Licensed to illegally invade other countries." 185 00:09:21,613 --> 00:09:24,972 I could see Roger Moore playing Tony Blair. 186 00:09:24,973 --> 00:09:28,292 AS ROGER MOORE: My name's Tony Blair, but I don't like you, Hussein. 187 00:09:28,293 --> 00:09:30,252 Now you're telling me this. 188 00:09:30,253 --> 00:09:33,292 You're telling me destruction could be launched in 45 minutes? 189 00:09:33,293 --> 00:09:34,692 I don't like you one bit. 190 00:09:34,693 --> 00:09:37,372 I don't like the way you stand on the balcony wearing a beret. 191 00:09:37,373 --> 00:09:40,452 AS SADDAM HUSSEIN: I wear the beret for one reason alone. Why? 192 00:09:40,453 --> 00:09:42,932 I like to impersonate Frank Spencer. 193 00:09:42,933 --> 00:09:45,852 You can impersonate Frank Spencer all you like 194 00:09:45,853 --> 00:09:47,212 but it doesn't change the fact 195 00:09:47,213 --> 00:09:50,252 that I think you're harbouring weapons of mass destruction. 196 00:09:50,253 --> 00:09:51,812 Wait till you hear this. 197 00:09:51,813 --> 00:09:54,652 IN SAME VOICE: Oh, Betty, the cat has done whoopsie on the carpet. 198 00:09:54,653 --> 00:09:57,292 That's a terrible impersonation of Frank Spencer, Hussein. 199 00:09:57,293 --> 00:09:59,572 It's the best I can do. I have the beret. 200 00:09:59,573 --> 00:10:01,652 That must count for something, surely? 201 00:10:01,653 --> 00:10:04,132 You think I can't do Frank Spencer? Well, listen to this. 202 00:10:04,133 --> 00:10:08,012 AS FRANK SPENCER: Put is over there, I'll mend it in the morning. What about that then, Mr Blair? 203 00:10:08,013 --> 00:10:10,372 I bet you didn't think I could do that. 204 00:10:10,373 --> 00:10:13,452 AS ROGER MOORE: I'll be very honest with you, Saddam, I wasn't expecting 205 00:10:13,453 --> 00:10:15,412 such a professional level of impersonation. 206 00:10:15,413 --> 00:10:18,132 AS SADDAM HUSSEIN: No, you weren't. You weren't expecting it. 207 00:10:18,133 --> 00:10:23,212 Have you considered touring northern clubs in the '70s? I tried to tour the northern clubs in the 1970s. 208 00:10:23,213 --> 00:10:25,612 What happened? They said... 209 00:10:25,613 --> 00:10:29,253 AS FRANK SPENCER: "No, we've already gone with someone who does Frank Spencer." 210 00:10:38,293 --> 00:10:40,253 Grazie. Grazie. 211 00:10:45,733 --> 00:10:48,252 Grazie mille. Que bel tempo oggi. 212 00:10:48,253 --> 00:10:49,972 Molto bello! Si. 213 00:10:49,973 --> 00:10:51,772 "Oggi" means "today". 214 00:10:51,773 --> 00:10:54,532 Thank goodness for that - I thought you were a bit forward! 215 00:10:54,533 --> 00:10:56,652 You want to take her for dinner first, mate. 216 00:10:56,653 --> 00:10:59,812 Would you like some more wine? I would. Lovely. 217 00:10:59,813 --> 00:11:02,172 AS ALAN BENNETT: "Dear diary, offered Steve more wine. 218 00:11:02,173 --> 00:11:04,532 "He was quite agreeable to the proposal, 219 00:11:04,533 --> 00:11:05,973 "so I poured it confidently." 220 00:11:13,573 --> 00:11:14,932 Mmm! 221 00:11:14,933 --> 00:11:17,452 AMERICAN ACCENT: Oh, man! This looks great. I adore pasta. 222 00:11:17,453 --> 00:11:21,972 It's "pah-sta". You say "pah-sta". Pah-sta, that's right, yeah. I love pah-sta. 223 00:11:21,973 --> 00:11:24,332 Steve, you got to have some of the pah-sta. 224 00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:26,012 Mmm. 225 00:11:26,013 --> 00:11:30,492 OWN ACCENT: Are you happy with Joe and Mamie being on holiday with another man in your role? 226 00:11:30,493 --> 00:11:32,372 He's not in my role. 227 00:11:32,373 --> 00:11:33,732 He is, technically. 228 00:11:33,733 --> 00:11:35,292 They know I'm the father. 229 00:11:35,293 --> 00:11:37,172 He's... David is just this guy. 230 00:11:37,173 --> 00:11:38,532 David - is that his name? 231 00:11:38,533 --> 00:11:41,972 32, a yoga instructor. How old? 32. 232 00:11:41,973 --> 00:11:44,492 He's 32, and he's what, a yoga instructor? Yeah. 233 00:11:44,493 --> 00:11:45,772 Are you happy with that? 234 00:11:45,773 --> 00:11:48,252 He's on holiday with them now. I'm paying for the holiday. 235 00:11:48,253 --> 00:11:50,452 He doesn't have much money. I couldn't do it. 236 00:11:50,453 --> 00:11:52,812 If Sally and I ever split up, which we will not, 237 00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:56,452 but if we did, that would be the thing that would really, 238 00:11:56,453 --> 00:11:59,452 you know, break me up - is the thought of another man 239 00:11:59,453 --> 00:12:03,652 being in that role cos Chloe's three. So, she'd have no memory 240 00:12:03,653 --> 00:12:05,932 of me as the dad in the house 241 00:12:05,933 --> 00:12:07,892 and she'd automatically think of him as Dad. 242 00:12:07,893 --> 00:12:10,133 That's fine. How's that fine? That's not fine! 243 00:12:14,733 --> 00:12:16,452 Wow! Grazie. 244 00:12:16,453 --> 00:12:19,212 WAITRESS SPEAKS ITALIAN Grazie mille. 245 00:12:19,213 --> 00:12:22,812 Beautiful here, isn't it, eh? La dolce vita. 246 00:12:22,813 --> 00:12:25,092 Don't you think we're lucky? 247 00:12:25,093 --> 00:12:27,972 In the old days, only the aristocracy could travel. 248 00:12:27,973 --> 00:12:31,532 Nowadays everyone... everybody can afford a holiday. 249 00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:33,532 Even if you're on benefits, you can go abroad. 250 00:12:33,533 --> 00:12:35,012 It's part of your human rights. 251 00:12:35,013 --> 00:12:36,972 Well, it should be part of your human rights! 252 00:12:36,973 --> 00:12:40,013 I think it should be on the NHS, but not in the summer. 253 00:12:40,973 --> 00:12:43,812 You know, it should be in the winter. When it's cheaper. 254 00:12:43,813 --> 00:12:47,732 When people get vitamin D deficiency, because of lack of sunlight. True. 255 00:12:47,733 --> 00:12:49,812 Which then leads to people getting depression, 256 00:12:49,813 --> 00:12:52,572 which means they then have to be prescribed antidepressants, 257 00:12:52,573 --> 00:12:56,252 sold at exorbitant rates to the NHS, paid for by taxpayers, 258 00:12:56,253 --> 00:12:59,052 but sold at exorbitant rates by multi-national drug companies. 259 00:12:59,053 --> 00:13:01,652 And he's off on his charger! 260 00:13:01,653 --> 00:13:03,972 This time taking on the pharmaceutical companies. 261 00:13:03,973 --> 00:13:06,532 Not content with bringing the Murdoch empire to its knees, 262 00:13:06,533 --> 00:13:09,132 he now turns his steely gaze to Nurofen. 263 00:13:09,133 --> 00:13:13,652 It's not Nurofen. I'm talking about temazepam and diazepam. 264 00:13:13,653 --> 00:13:17,172 You know, drug companies aren't interested in curing cancer. 265 00:13:17,173 --> 00:13:21,652 They want to prescribe long-term medication for chronic illnesses 266 00:13:21,653 --> 00:13:24,372 because that's what lines the coffers of the shareholders. 267 00:13:24,373 --> 00:13:25,852 It's a cartel, a conspiracy. 268 00:13:25,853 --> 00:13:28,893 They're no better than Colombian drug lords, frankly. 269 00:13:33,533 --> 00:13:37,532 Did you ever see the film Love and Other Drugs - Jake Gyllenhaal? 270 00:13:37,533 --> 00:13:40,572 Gil-en-hall, Jill-en-hall - how do you pronounce that? 271 00:13:40,573 --> 00:13:42,892 I know Jake and Maggie. 272 00:13:42,893 --> 00:13:44,532 And how do you pronounce it? 273 00:13:44,533 --> 00:13:46,092 I don't know. 274 00:13:46,093 --> 00:13:49,013 It was about the big pharma conspiracy over Viagra. 275 00:13:51,813 --> 00:13:53,092 Have you ever used that? 276 00:13:53,093 --> 00:13:55,812 Not prescribed to me, you know, I've used it recreationally. 277 00:13:55,813 --> 00:13:57,972 Recreationally is the only way you would use it. 278 00:13:57,973 --> 00:13:59,612 Why would you use it professionally, 279 00:13:59,613 --> 00:14:04,012 unless you're a porn star or a model or an actor? 280 00:14:04,013 --> 00:14:06,612 But actors can't - that's the last thing an actor wants to use. 281 00:14:06,613 --> 00:14:09,172 You're not allowed to get a hard on if you're in a sex scene. 282 00:14:09,173 --> 00:14:13,292 It's a major faux pas, frowned upon by crews and actors alike. 283 00:14:13,293 --> 00:14:15,692 So, erm... 284 00:14:15,693 --> 00:14:16,933 what's it like? 285 00:14:18,173 --> 00:14:19,972 Erm... 286 00:14:19,973 --> 00:14:21,852 do you want me to get you some Viagra? 287 00:14:21,853 --> 00:14:23,332 Oh, I'm just asking you. 288 00:14:23,333 --> 00:14:27,692 Look, I'm considering dipping my toes in the murky waters of Viagra. 289 00:14:27,693 --> 00:14:29,532 OK... it's not an aphrodisiac. 290 00:14:29,533 --> 00:14:31,572 You've got to desire the woman you're with. 291 00:14:31,573 --> 00:14:32,932 Yes... well, yes, I do. 292 00:14:32,933 --> 00:14:35,772 I have a three-year-old child so, you know, 293 00:14:35,773 --> 00:14:40,172 it's not the sexual Olympics in our house, so I'm just thinking of a... 294 00:14:40,173 --> 00:14:41,572 Well, it's just like a peg up. 295 00:14:41,573 --> 00:14:43,972 It's like you trying to climb over a wall and me doing that. 296 00:14:43,973 --> 00:14:45,452 You'd stand in that. 297 00:14:45,453 --> 00:14:48,652 I'd be uncomfortable if you were there, I should make that clear. 298 00:14:48,653 --> 00:14:50,412 Yeah, I know. It's an analogy. 299 00:14:50,413 --> 00:14:53,092 Yeah, once you're over the wall, you're on your own. Yeah. 300 00:14:53,093 --> 00:14:55,212 But it's like... Take a... 301 00:14:55,213 --> 00:14:57,292 I wouldn't want you in the house at all, to be honest. 302 00:14:57,293 --> 00:15:00,412 Just tell me what it's like. No, I'm outside looking round, making sure, 303 00:15:00,413 --> 00:15:03,052 keeping the coast clear. I've given you a peg up, you go in... 304 00:15:03,053 --> 00:15:06,052 OK, all right. Have sex with your wife. Yeah, I'm comfortable now. 305 00:15:06,053 --> 00:15:09,372 OK, it's like a turbo charger on a normally aspirated engine. 306 00:15:09,373 --> 00:15:13,572 WAITRESS SPEAKS ITALIAN Si, grazie mille, grazie. 307 00:15:13,573 --> 00:15:17,013 Grazie, erm, il conto, per favore... grazie. 308 00:15:18,133 --> 00:15:20,252 That's one of the nicest sounds in the world - 309 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:24,932 the sound of water lapping, ideally against pebbles and not sand. 310 00:15:24,933 --> 00:15:27,692 A lovely sound. Is there a nicer sound than that? 311 00:15:27,693 --> 00:15:29,972 No, I don't think there is. Birdsong? 312 00:15:29,973 --> 00:15:32,612 Birdsong... depends on the bird. Yeah, that's true. 313 00:15:32,613 --> 00:15:34,772 HE SQUAWKS 314 00:15:34,773 --> 00:15:36,972 Yeah, that's fair, so point taken. 315 00:15:36,973 --> 00:15:41,772 IRISH ACCENT: So, welcome, and you join us for Guess The Bill 316 00:15:41,773 --> 00:15:45,332 and our contestant this week is returning after his triumph last week. 317 00:15:45,333 --> 00:15:47,812 It's young Stephen Coogan. Steve, welcome. Thank you. 318 00:15:47,813 --> 00:15:50,132 I know you've had a super day here at the studios with us. 319 00:15:50,133 --> 00:15:51,652 Just a second. Let me just stop you 320 00:15:51,653 --> 00:15:53,852 briefly to ask you what part of Ireland you're from. 321 00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:56,932 Well, I'm glad you asked, Stephen. I've travelled all around Ireland, 322 00:15:56,933 --> 00:15:59,692 hence the different tones in the voice, but it's good of you to ask. 323 00:15:59,693 --> 00:16:03,252 I like a young, inquisitive mind. OK, I'll let it go. All right, don't speak again. 324 00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:06,332 Steve, thanks for taking an interest in me but tonight is all about you 325 00:16:06,333 --> 00:16:09,092 and I hope you're going to win some money and take it back to that 326 00:16:09,093 --> 00:16:11,252 family, who God knows have suffered enough already 327 00:16:11,253 --> 00:16:13,612 putting up with you, you little shit. 328 00:16:13,613 --> 00:16:16,332 So, here we go, and I must take your first answer. 329 00:16:16,333 --> 00:16:18,332 Is today's bill... 330 00:16:18,333 --> 00:16:20,812 A - ten euro? 331 00:16:20,813 --> 00:16:24,492 Is it B - 647 euro? 332 00:16:24,493 --> 00:16:27,972 Or is it C - 173 euro? 333 00:16:27,973 --> 00:16:30,372 And Steve, please, I must take your first answer. 334 00:16:30,373 --> 00:16:34,412 Ladies and gentlemen in the audience, please no helping with this young lad. C, it's C. 335 00:16:34,413 --> 00:16:36,332 C, you're saying C? Yeah. 336 00:16:36,333 --> 00:16:39,332 173 - is that your final answer, Steve? Yeah, definitely. 337 00:16:39,333 --> 00:16:42,332 Steve, you've done it. You've won again, well done. You'll be coming 338 00:16:42,333 --> 00:16:44,932 back next week. Give a wave to everybody at home there, Steve. 339 00:16:44,933 --> 00:16:47,732 Give a wave. The camera's over there, you daft bugger. There it is. 340 00:16:47,733 --> 00:16:52,453 Good night, everybody. We'll be back same time next week. Keep waving. Credits are rolling. Good night! 341 00:17:03,093 --> 00:17:04,892 Watch your head already. 342 00:17:04,893 --> 00:17:06,612 William, the men are not happy. 343 00:17:06,613 --> 00:17:08,572 Oh, William, is it? Not "captain" or "sir"? 344 00:17:08,573 --> 00:17:12,932 You can tell the men that we will sail around the Cape of Good Hope, we will sail around the Horn. 345 00:17:12,933 --> 00:17:15,532 You turned your back on me, man. God damn your eyes! 346 00:17:15,533 --> 00:17:17,692 God damn your eyes, man, you turned your back on me! 347 00:17:17,693 --> 00:17:20,652 He's doing Anthony Hopkins. Don't worry, it'll pass. 348 00:17:20,653 --> 00:17:23,452 You tell the men that we will sail around the Cape of Good Hope 349 00:17:23,453 --> 00:17:24,812 and sail around the Horn. 350 00:17:24,813 --> 00:17:27,852 Around the Horn. The quick way round the Horn we shall go, sir. 351 00:17:27,853 --> 00:17:30,212 Damn your eyes! Damn your eyes! 352 00:17:30,213 --> 00:17:32,372 You turned your back on me, man! 353 00:17:32,373 --> 00:17:35,172 Don't turn your back on me! 354 00:17:35,173 --> 00:17:38,333 Around the Horn we're going. The quicker way round the Horn we shall go. 355 00:17:56,973 --> 00:17:58,453 Hey! Hi! 356 00:17:59,533 --> 00:18:01,332 Oh, careful. 357 00:18:01,333 --> 00:18:02,812 Not too rough for you? 358 00:18:02,813 --> 00:18:05,572 No, no, it's fine. Are you enjoying it? 359 00:18:05,573 --> 00:18:10,812 Yeah, it's fantastic, wonderful. Steve's having a little sleep. 360 00:18:10,813 --> 00:18:14,692 Had a drink, so at his age he needs a nap after lunch 361 00:18:14,693 --> 00:18:16,052 or he gets confused. 362 00:18:16,053 --> 00:18:18,412 How old is he? He doesn't like me to say. 363 00:18:18,413 --> 00:18:20,252 He doesn't like me to share that. 364 00:18:20,253 --> 00:18:22,413 Does he drink a lot? Well... 365 00:18:23,533 --> 00:18:25,733 And so this is the anchor, yeah? 366 00:18:27,173 --> 00:18:30,892 Am I right? I know enough to get by. 367 00:18:30,893 --> 00:18:33,292 So, this is the anchor and then 368 00:18:33,293 --> 00:18:36,092 if you want to stop somewhere you drop the sail - is that right? 369 00:18:36,093 --> 00:18:38,732 Where are you from, then? Wales, right? 370 00:18:38,733 --> 00:18:40,532 Wales, South Wales, Port Talbot. 371 00:18:40,533 --> 00:18:42,172 Oh, I love the accent. 372 00:18:42,173 --> 00:18:44,492 Do you? Yeah, it's beautiful. Seriously? 373 00:18:44,493 --> 00:18:45,812 Yeah, it's really lyrical. 374 00:18:45,813 --> 00:18:48,212 Ah, begin at the beginning. 375 00:18:48,213 --> 00:18:50,652 You've just got to make your mouth, like, begin. 376 00:18:50,653 --> 00:18:55,012 To begin. Yes, but you have to push your lips out. Begin. 377 00:18:55,013 --> 00:18:56,772 SHE LAUGHS 378 00:18:56,773 --> 00:18:59,132 To begin at the beginning. 379 00:18:59,133 --> 00:19:00,932 To begin... 380 00:19:00,933 --> 00:19:02,652 SHE LAUGHS 381 00:19:02,653 --> 00:19:04,692 That sounded angry, really. 382 00:19:04,693 --> 00:19:07,333 OPERA MUSIC PLAYS 383 00:19:20,773 --> 00:19:22,652 It's a lovely house. 384 00:19:22,653 --> 00:19:24,612 I mean, it's better than Byron's, isn't it? 385 00:19:24,613 --> 00:19:27,772 You've got a lovely balcony there. Looking out over the bay. 386 00:19:27,773 --> 00:19:31,052 See if you can get my face and it in so it's legible. 387 00:19:31,053 --> 00:19:32,932 Don't look ironic. I'm not. 388 00:19:32,933 --> 00:19:35,813 It's not a flattering angle but it's got all the information, so... 389 00:19:41,933 --> 00:19:43,972 Did you like it? Was it nice? 390 00:19:43,973 --> 00:19:45,572 It was busier than I was expecting. 391 00:19:45,573 --> 00:19:47,252 Spoilt by tourism. Yeah. 392 00:19:47,253 --> 00:19:49,972 Yeah, when Shelley lived there it would have been deserted. 393 00:19:49,973 --> 00:19:52,332 Yeah? Do you want to go back to San Fruttuoso? 394 00:19:52,333 --> 00:19:53,533 Yes. Yes? It was lovely there. 395 00:19:56,653 --> 00:19:58,532 That's a lovely sight. 396 00:19:58,533 --> 00:20:00,012 I'd like to show her the ropes. 397 00:20:00,013 --> 00:20:01,492 I'd like to show her my rope. 398 00:20:01,493 --> 00:20:04,412 Yeah, I'd like her to charm the rope out of my basket. 399 00:20:04,413 --> 00:20:06,892 I'd like to see her drop her anchor in my Bay of Poets. 400 00:20:06,893 --> 00:20:09,812 Well, she wouldn't drop her anchor, you'd be the one with the anchor. 401 00:20:09,813 --> 00:20:11,172 No, she could drop her anchor. 402 00:20:11,173 --> 00:20:13,972 No, she doesn't, you drop your anchor. You're absolutely right. 403 00:20:13,973 --> 00:20:15,852 I'd like to drop my anchor in her boat. 404 00:20:15,853 --> 00:20:17,932 You're getting your metaphors arse about tit. 405 00:20:17,933 --> 00:20:20,132 Now you drop an anchor and she... 406 00:20:20,133 --> 00:20:21,653 ROB LAUGHS 407 00:20:22,693 --> 00:20:24,372 You nearly went over the side. 408 00:20:24,373 --> 00:20:27,332 No, I didn't. You did. I didn't. You panicked. 409 00:20:27,333 --> 00:20:29,852 Yeah, all right I panicked, big deal. 410 00:20:29,853 --> 00:20:32,132 You did, you completely panicked! 411 00:20:32,133 --> 00:20:33,572 The panic's a survival instinct. 412 00:20:33,573 --> 00:20:36,492 What would Daniel Craig have done? He wouldn't have gone "Ohhh..." 413 00:20:36,493 --> 00:20:38,852 Daniel Craig, when they announced he was playing Bond, 414 00:20:38,853 --> 00:20:41,492 he turned up on the Thames in a speedboat wearing a lifejacket. 415 00:20:41,493 --> 00:20:45,532 That's for insurance. Whereas Roger Moore would have asked for one. 416 00:20:45,533 --> 00:20:49,212 AS ROGER MOORE: Cubby, I wonder if Bond at this stage would be wearing 417 00:20:49,213 --> 00:20:51,812 a buoyancy aid of some sort. 418 00:20:51,813 --> 00:20:53,772 Perhaps some wings. 419 00:20:53,773 --> 00:20:57,252 Water wings... Perhaps a rubber ring around his midriff. 420 00:20:57,253 --> 00:20:58,893 Just belt and braces. 421 00:20:59,933 --> 00:21:02,453 And did you get my memo about the handrail? 422 00:21:25,413 --> 00:21:27,052 Are you going to swim in, then? 423 00:21:27,053 --> 00:21:28,732 I could swim in. 424 00:21:28,733 --> 00:21:30,053 Yeah, right. 425 00:21:30,973 --> 00:21:32,493 Watch me. 426 00:21:37,053 --> 00:21:39,332 Swiss self-winding, $10,000. 427 00:21:39,333 --> 00:21:42,093 MUSIC: "Um Mitternacht" by Gustav Mahler 428 00:21:48,133 --> 00:21:49,573 Superb! 429 00:21:56,373 --> 00:21:59,132 This is exactly how I imagined it, you know, 430 00:21:59,133 --> 00:22:01,772 from reading about Shelley. 431 00:22:01,773 --> 00:22:06,172 Sort of very simple but very romantic in the grand sense. 432 00:22:06,173 --> 00:22:07,413 Yes. Yeah? 433 00:22:08,973 --> 00:22:12,052 There's something quite melancholy about this place, isn't there? 434 00:22:12,053 --> 00:22:14,892 It's like getting stranded on a desert island. 435 00:22:14,893 --> 00:22:17,052 Yeah, only not as hot. 436 00:22:17,053 --> 00:22:19,092 The desert doesn't mean hot. 437 00:22:19,093 --> 00:22:22,092 Desert just means there's no people there. There's going to be water. 438 00:22:22,093 --> 00:22:25,092 It just means deserted. I know that, I know that. Don't you think 439 00:22:25,093 --> 00:22:28,812 everything's melancholic once you get to a certain age? I do. 440 00:22:28,813 --> 00:22:34,093 I think you've really got to just try and enjoy life, you know? 441 00:22:36,533 --> 00:22:39,572 I mean, even your mouth starts to naturally droop down. 442 00:22:39,573 --> 00:22:42,732 No, that's relaxing. That's just muscles relaxing. 443 00:22:42,733 --> 00:22:45,652 Garrison Keeler said, "When you're under 40, 444 00:22:45,653 --> 00:22:48,652 "seeming unhappy makes you look interesting. 445 00:22:48,653 --> 00:22:51,572 "But once you're 40 and beyond, you've got to do everything 446 00:22:51,573 --> 00:22:54,932 "you can to smile, otherwise you just look like a grumpy old man." 447 00:22:54,933 --> 00:22:56,293 Morrissey. 448 00:22:57,453 --> 00:22:59,813 Byron was famously gloomy. 449 00:23:04,933 --> 00:23:06,973 Come and have a drink. 450 00:23:08,493 --> 00:23:10,293 OK. 451 00:23:15,653 --> 00:23:19,332 Yep, I've still got it. A bit shocked, aren't you? 452 00:23:19,333 --> 00:23:22,173 Not really - I've always told you that it was a possibility. 453 00:23:23,373 --> 00:23:27,373 You know, so you're an acquired taste, but, you know... 454 00:23:29,533 --> 00:23:33,293 What will people remember of us in 200 years' time? 455 00:23:36,173 --> 00:23:37,732 Er... 456 00:23:37,733 --> 00:23:40,213 I don't think we'll be remembered, to be honest with you. 457 00:23:41,253 --> 00:23:42,652 No. 458 00:23:42,653 --> 00:23:46,492 I mean, if... There's a big if. If we are... 459 00:23:46,493 --> 00:23:48,932 ..either of us are remembered, 460 00:23:48,933 --> 00:23:51,572 I would say that it would probably be me. 461 00:23:51,573 --> 00:23:53,812 What would they most remember? 462 00:23:53,813 --> 00:23:56,013 What would be celebrated about you, do you think? 463 00:23:57,573 --> 00:23:58,653 Six BAFTAs. 464 00:24:00,533 --> 00:24:02,332 You've got five BAFTAs. 465 00:24:02,333 --> 00:24:05,132 Yeah, but I'll probably get a lifetime achievement. 466 00:24:05,133 --> 00:24:07,412 True. If I survive. 467 00:24:07,413 --> 00:24:09,372 You could have it posthumously. 468 00:24:09,373 --> 00:24:11,852 I like to think if you did win it posthumously, 469 00:24:11,853 --> 00:24:13,852 I'd be the one to accept it on your behalf. 470 00:24:13,853 --> 00:24:16,452 Unless, of course, if I was the architect of your death, 471 00:24:16,453 --> 00:24:19,172 in which case I'd still like to receive it from my cell 472 00:24:19,173 --> 00:24:20,653 via satellite link. 473 00:24:22,253 --> 00:24:24,852 Thrilled to have this. Er... 474 00:24:24,853 --> 00:24:28,692 you know, I killed Steve for the good of mankind. 475 00:24:28,693 --> 00:24:30,412 Do I regret what I've done? 476 00:24:30,413 --> 00:24:33,092 Not really, because I think the world's... Lights out! 477 00:24:33,093 --> 00:24:36,052 I've got to go. Brydon, lights out, you nonce. 478 00:24:36,053 --> 00:24:38,652 Yeah, that's not what I'm in for, 479 00:24:38,653 --> 00:24:41,292 but I accept it as a general derogatory term. 480 00:24:41,293 --> 00:24:44,012 DEEP VOICE: Come on, Rob, come to bed. 481 00:24:44,013 --> 00:24:46,132 All right, Melvyn, I'll be a minute. 482 00:24:46,133 --> 00:24:48,252 Anyway, that's all from me. I want a cuddle. 483 00:24:48,253 --> 00:24:51,492 Yes, all right, I'll give you a cuddle. Please just wait. 484 00:24:51,493 --> 00:24:53,812 Erm, so anyway, on Steve's behalf, thanks for this. 485 00:24:53,813 --> 00:24:56,052 He would have loved it but, you know, he's gone. 486 00:24:56,053 --> 00:24:58,012 Come on. Yeah, all right. I'm horny! 487 00:24:58,013 --> 00:25:01,252 I want to go on the inside... of the bed, of the bed, of the bed. 488 00:25:01,253 --> 00:25:03,252 Not the inside of the inmate. 489 00:25:03,253 --> 00:25:04,853 The inside of the bed. 490 00:25:05,893 --> 00:25:09,572 Did you see this? Michael Winner's memorial service. 491 00:25:09,573 --> 00:25:11,972 And Michael Caine and Roger Moore were sat there, 492 00:25:11,973 --> 00:25:15,212 the two of them, and they looked old, cos they are old. 493 00:25:15,213 --> 00:25:18,892 AS MICHAEL CAINE: I don't think we've ever been this old, Rog, 494 00:25:18,893 --> 00:25:20,893 I'll be very honest with you. 495 00:25:22,373 --> 00:25:25,572 AS ROGER MOORE: We've 'ad a pretty good innings, though, Michael. 496 00:25:25,573 --> 00:25:29,012 You just dropped your H, Rog. Why was that? That's not like you. 497 00:25:29,013 --> 00:25:33,172 You just said "We've 'ad a very good innings, Michael." 498 00:25:33,173 --> 00:25:36,852 What's the matter, Roger? I'm Michael, you're Roger. 499 00:25:36,853 --> 00:25:40,732 I haven't the time, Michael. I really haven't the time. 500 00:25:40,733 --> 00:25:43,572 I'll tell you the time, Rog. It's getting late. 501 00:25:43,573 --> 00:25:45,093 Do you take my meaning? 502 00:25:46,573 --> 00:25:51,932 Oh, Michael, do you remember back in '88 when we made "Bullseye!"? 503 00:25:51,933 --> 00:25:54,373 Ah, glory days. Happy days. 504 00:25:55,533 --> 00:25:59,572 Tragically superseded by the television version of Bullseye. 505 00:25:59,573 --> 00:26:00,972 With Jim Bowen? 506 00:26:00,973 --> 00:26:03,973 With the great James Bowen. 507 00:26:06,413 --> 00:26:08,132 180! 508 00:26:08,133 --> 00:26:10,852 I would have loved to have you in as the voice of the scores, 509 00:26:10,853 --> 00:26:12,692 it would have been lovely. 510 00:26:12,693 --> 00:26:14,892 There's only one word for that - magic darts. 511 00:26:14,893 --> 00:26:17,652 I mean, I think if you and me had been doing Bullseye together... 512 00:26:17,653 --> 00:26:19,612 There's only one word for that - magic darts. 513 00:26:19,613 --> 00:26:22,372 Yeah, there's only one word for that - magic darts. Magic darts. 514 00:26:22,373 --> 00:26:25,132 There's only one word for that - magic darts. 515 00:26:25,133 --> 00:26:27,932 There's only one word for that - magic darts. 516 00:26:27,933 --> 00:26:31,332 There's only one word for that, Master Bruce - magic darts. 517 00:26:31,333 --> 00:26:34,453 Thank you very much, I haven't been playing for long. 518 00:26:36,493 --> 00:26:38,253 I'd better go and call Jo. 519 00:26:40,693 --> 00:26:42,333 See you in a bit. 520 00:26:54,813 --> 00:26:58,092 'This person's phone is switched off. 521 00:26:58,093 --> 00:27:00,652 'Please try later or send a text.' 522 00:27:00,653 --> 00:27:02,893 So, how did you end up here? 523 00:27:05,053 --> 00:27:08,812 My boyfriend had a boat. We sailed together. 524 00:27:08,813 --> 00:27:13,373 Then when we broke up I had to find work, so I got a job on the crew. 525 00:27:15,413 --> 00:27:17,572 It must be fun. 526 00:27:17,573 --> 00:27:19,533 Sometimes. 527 00:27:20,933 --> 00:27:22,692 Do you have children? 528 00:27:22,693 --> 00:27:27,452 No, I wish I did. Do you? 529 00:27:27,453 --> 00:27:31,612 Yeah, I've got a daughter, Chloe. 530 00:27:31,613 --> 00:27:33,332 She's three. 531 00:27:33,333 --> 00:27:34,533 Aw! 532 00:27:35,813 --> 00:27:37,813 She is gorgeous. 533 00:27:38,893 --> 00:27:41,012 Do you miss her? Yeah. 534 00:27:41,013 --> 00:27:44,092 It's been two days, so I'm... 535 00:27:44,093 --> 00:27:45,893 I'm not pining but... 536 00:27:49,053 --> 00:27:52,813 POSH ACCENT: "Is thy face, like thy mother's, fair, my child! 537 00:27:53,893 --> 00:27:58,173 "Chloe, sole daughter of my house and heart. 538 00:27:59,533 --> 00:28:04,012 "When last I saw thy young blue eyes they smiled and then we parted." 539 00:28:04,013 --> 00:28:07,892 Is that your Hugh Grant impression? Yes, I'm afraid it is, yes, yes. 540 00:28:07,893 --> 00:28:10,052 I think that Steve's absolutely right, 541 00:28:10,053 --> 00:28:13,132 I do find it very difficult to - oh, gosh, crikey - say a poem 542 00:28:13,133 --> 00:28:16,452 unless it's in somebody else's voice. And Hugh just happened to 543 00:28:16,453 --> 00:28:20,332 be passing, you know, on the beach, and he popped over for a blow. 544 00:28:20,333 --> 00:28:24,373 ..by blow account of what was going on. 545 00:28:25,933 --> 00:28:29,172 "Sorrow is knowledge: They who know the most 546 00:28:29,173 --> 00:28:33,052 "Must mourn the deepest oe'r the fatal truth 547 00:28:33,053 --> 00:28:35,573 "The tree of Knowledge is not that of Life."