1 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:06,310 Sing, goddess, 2 00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,360 Achilles' rage, black murderess 3 00:00:09,920 --> 00:00:12,590 that cost the Greeks incalculable pain, 4 00:00:12,960 --> 00:00:17,160 pitched countless souls of heroes into Hades' dark. 5 00:00:17,880 --> 00:00:21,270 Left their bodies to rot as corpses 6 00:00:22,040 --> 00:00:23,920 for dogs and birds. 7 00:00:25,160 --> 00:00:26,510 Did you learn that last night? 8 00:00:28,080 --> 00:00:29,216 - There's not a lot here is… - No. 9 00:00:29,240 --> 00:00:30,416 … there really when you think about it. 10 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:31,790 No, it's not like the film. 11 00:00:31,880 --> 00:00:33,320 It was all sandy beaches, wasn't it? 12 00:00:34,080 --> 00:00:37,790 Greeks were camped here for 10 years. 13 00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:40,270 - Too long, isn't it? - Too long to camp. 14 00:00:41,040 --> 00:00:42,680 I can do a week, tops. 15 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:45,160 - In the Lake District? - Yeah, with a pillow. 16 00:00:45,400 --> 00:00:46,990 I won't camp without a pillow. 17 00:00:49,000 --> 00:00:50,480 I had a bad dream last night. 18 00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:52,630 Oh, was it a portent? 19 00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,990 I don't know. Just… It was bad. 20 00:00:57,120 --> 00:01:00,080 I had a portent once. And no groundsheet. 21 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,320 Stick your head out more. 22 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,200 Find your light. 23 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:07,120 That's it. Do an "a-ha." 24 00:01:08,640 --> 00:01:10,680 - A-ha! - Got it. 25 00:01:25,840 --> 00:01:28,960 I like this. This is quite a shady spot. 26 00:01:29,040 --> 00:01:31,240 Yes, I don't know if you wanna sit in direct sunlight. 27 00:01:31,320 --> 00:01:33,040 Never. I never sit in direct sunlight. 28 00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,390 - These are the starters. - Thank you. 29 00:01:36,480 --> 00:01:37,760 Okay, fresh tomato soup, 30 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,670 with fresh basil from our garden. 31 00:01:39,760 --> 00:01:40,760 Lovely. Thank you. 32 00:01:43,160 --> 00:01:46,230 This is beetroot, artichoke and fava. 33 00:01:46,320 --> 00:01:47,750 - Thank you. - Marvellous. 34 00:01:47,920 --> 00:01:50,560 And this, baked zucchini, 35 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,470 zucchini flowers and mushroom. 36 00:01:52,560 --> 00:01:54,760 - Enjoy your lunch, sir. - Thank you very much indeed. 37 00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:59,430 - Notice he addressed all that to me. - Yeah. Why… Why is that? 38 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:01,960 Because I think he thinks that I'm your carer. 39 00:02:02,520 --> 00:02:04,110 And in many ways I am. 40 00:02:06,760 --> 00:02:07,760 - Cheers? - Cheers. 41 00:02:07,840 --> 00:02:10,640 - Here's to an enjoyable excursion. - Yeah. Mmm. 42 00:02:11,480 --> 00:02:14,120 - Mmm. Bellissimo. - Mmm-hmm-hmm-hmm. 43 00:02:15,320 --> 00:02:16,910 It's very odd, isn't it, to start 44 00:02:17,440 --> 00:02:19,320 a trip to Greece in Turkey? 45 00:02:19,400 --> 00:02:20,680 It was The Observer's idea, 46 00:02:20,760 --> 00:02:24,520 erm, to retrace the steps of, erm, Odysseus, 47 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:26,280 in the Odyssey, so that's what we're doing. 48 00:02:26,360 --> 00:02:28,960 Ten-year odyssey in six days. 49 00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:30,630 It's ambitious, Steve. 50 00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:31,720 It might sound ambitious, 51 00:02:31,800 --> 00:02:34,190 but if you think of Ulysses by James Joyce… 52 00:02:34,560 --> 00:02:36,760 Thanks for telling me the author. I'd never have known. 53 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:38,896 I'm just putting the information out there in case you don't. 54 00:02:38,920 --> 00:02:39,920 I don't want, you know… 55 00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:43,710 It's like me saying Harry Potter by JK Rowling. 56 00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:46,360 I wouldn't put Harry Potter and Ulysses in the same… 57 00:02:46,760 --> 00:02:49,280 In the same camp. Apart from they're both "books." 58 00:02:49,360 --> 00:02:51,400 Harry Potter has sold truckloads of books. 59 00:02:51,480 --> 00:02:54,920 Yeah, but the thing is, I don't measure success by units sold. 60 00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:57,096 You're obviously telling me the figures for your TV shows. 61 00:02:57,120 --> 00:03:00,000 - I… Yes, but it's not… It's just… - And the consolidated ones at that. 62 00:03:00,080 --> 00:03:01,536 - Yes. - 'Cause the actual time of viewing 63 00:03:01,560 --> 00:03:05,030 aren't impressive. But you do tell me the consolidated figures. 64 00:03:05,120 --> 00:03:08,830 It's nice to be liked, but you shouldn't go out there trying to be liked. 65 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:18,270 If you think that we have been doing these trips 66 00:03:18,360 --> 00:03:22,480 for nearly 10 years, then I suppose, 67 00:03:22,560 --> 00:03:25,310 in a macro sense, we've been on this odyssey for 10 years. 68 00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:27,000 - Yeah? - Is it 10 years? 69 00:03:27,080 --> 00:03:28,560 Yeah. It is. 70 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:30,230 Since The Lakes. 71 00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:31,880 Hmm. 72 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:33,440 A bit of Richard Gere there. 73 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:35,840 - Just looking off. - Oh. 74 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:37,200 Yeah, lovely. 75 00:03:37,280 --> 00:03:39,480 Yeah. And you're looking more like him as well. 76 00:03:39,560 --> 00:03:40,560 That's good. 77 00:03:40,640 --> 00:03:42,600 No, I wasn't being serious. I was joking. 78 00:03:42,680 --> 00:03:44,240 - Oh. - You look nothing like him. 79 00:03:44,320 --> 00:03:45,670 Ah. 80 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,550 My God, you lapped that compliment up, didn't you? Look at that. 81 00:03:48,640 --> 00:03:50,550 Well, it's not unreasonable. I… 82 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:52,790 I mean, I'm wearing my years reasonably well. 83 00:03:52,880 --> 00:03:54,616 Yeah, but in no way do you resemble Richard Gere. 84 00:03:54,640 --> 00:03:57,016 - Okay, I don't resemble… - You look like a great Steve Coogan. 85 00:03:57,040 --> 00:03:59,400 - 'Cause you're looking terrific. - And I'm happy with that. 86 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,896 - More than happy. - You clutched at Richard Gere. 87 00:04:00,920 --> 00:04:02,480 I look better as I get older. 88 00:04:02,560 --> 00:04:04,176 - Yes, you do. Yes, you do. - Lots of women say that. 89 00:04:04,200 --> 00:04:05,976 I've got a man who's gonna say it. I'm saying it. 90 00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,600 - You look better older. - Oh, thank you. 91 00:04:07,640 --> 00:04:09,230 You were unpalatable as a young man. 92 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:15,790 What's this? 93 00:04:16,040 --> 00:04:18,030 If I'm not mistaken, it's a Penguin Classic. 94 00:04:18,160 --> 00:04:20,360 - And it's by Harry Stottle. - I know Harry, yeah. 95 00:04:20,440 --> 00:04:21,790 I know all the Stottles. 96 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:23,910 Poetics. Listen to this. 97 00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,870 "Epic poetry and the composition of tragedy as well as comedy 98 00:04:27,960 --> 00:04:30,160 "and the arts of poetry and music 99 00:04:30,240 --> 00:04:32,990 "are all imitations. 100 00:04:33,400 --> 00:04:36,600 "Imitation comes naturally to human beings 101 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:40,240 "and so does the universal pleasure 102 00:04:40,680 --> 00:04:41,910 "in imitation." 103 00:04:42,480 --> 00:04:43,630 - Erm… - Not my words. 104 00:04:43,760 --> 00:04:44,960 The words of Harry Stottle. 105 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:53,310 Ancient Greek culture, 106 00:04:53,400 --> 00:04:55,920 very similar to Welsh culture. Very oral. 107 00:04:56,320 --> 00:04:58,390 Tradition of handing stories down. 108 00:04:58,480 --> 00:05:01,600 I think more than, say, Manchester, in Wales, as in Ancient Greece, 109 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:05,510 we speak the stories. With the Bard telling poetry. 110 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:08,040 No, we don't need to hand stories down in Manchester 111 00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,350 'cause we can read and write. 112 00:05:09,560 --> 00:05:12,280 Whereas the vast majority of Wales is illiterate. 113 00:05:12,360 --> 00:05:13,536 - Is that what you're saying? - Oh, no. 114 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,136 It's the comparison of Wales with Ancient Greece. 115 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:17,136 - And what you're saying is… - I think that's legitimate. 116 00:05:17,160 --> 00:05:20,310 … Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Max Boyce… 117 00:05:20,760 --> 00:05:24,520 It's an oral tradition of handing things down. It's storytelling. 118 00:05:24,640 --> 00:05:26,680 It's sitting around the fire, it's sitting… 119 00:05:26,760 --> 00:05:28,400 Sitting on the edge of the chair. 120 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:29,760 It's not the one 121 00:05:29,840 --> 00:05:33,440 about the chap that goes into the Colosseum 122 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:35,640 - to face the lions. - When Aristotle 123 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,950 celebrated the art of imitation, 124 00:05:38,040 --> 00:05:40,576 I don't think he was referring to dodgy Ronnie Corbett impressions. 125 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,976 That's a dodgy Ronnie Corbett impression, is it? Is it really, Steve? 126 00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,510 Is it dodgy? 127 00:05:44,960 --> 00:05:46,190 Are we really gonna do 128 00:05:46,280 --> 00:05:47,560 Ronnie Corbett impressions. 129 00:05:47,840 --> 00:05:49,120 Ten years on. 130 00:05:49,200 --> 00:05:50,840 What better place to pay tribute to him. 131 00:05:50,920 --> 00:05:53,040 What, than Turkey? 132 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:55,360 If I'm going to be remembered, 133 00:05:55,440 --> 00:05:59,280 I would very much like it to be somewhere in Turkey. 134 00:05:59,440 --> 00:06:02,990 A place that meant so much to Ronnie B and myself. 135 00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:14,080 So much of art and acting is imitation. 136 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:18,070 Nothing wrong with it. You did a fantastic imitation, 137 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:19,880 er, of Stan Laurel in Stan & Ollie. 138 00:06:19,960 --> 00:06:22,110 It was superb. 139 00:06:22,440 --> 00:06:24,350 - Mmm. - One of the best imitations 140 00:06:24,680 --> 00:06:25,750 I've ever seen. 141 00:06:25,840 --> 00:06:27,960 I'm not sure it's an imitation, that's the thing. 142 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:29,160 No, it's not an imitation. 143 00:06:29,240 --> 00:06:32,790 - It is a great imitation. - I can't take it. 144 00:06:32,880 --> 00:06:34,376 You see, I don't like the word "imitation." 145 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:35,960 I watched it on a BAFTA screener. 146 00:06:36,040 --> 00:06:38,600 I only paused it three times to go to the kitchen. 147 00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:41,120 And that, in our house, that's good. 148 00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:44,510 Okay, well, yeah. But you see, imitation is something I regard as… 149 00:06:44,600 --> 00:06:46,910 - It's not just imitation. - It isn't an imitation. 150 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,800 - Bloody brilliant. - I was saying… Thank you. 151 00:06:48,880 --> 00:06:50,440 I think it's impressionistic. 152 00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:51,870 You had… You had this. 153 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:55,190 Yeah? You had the pause. You know the pause? 154 00:06:55,280 --> 00:06:57,590 - You did that beautifully. - I certainly did. 155 00:06:57,680 --> 00:06:59,990 Mmm. Now, why don't you 156 00:07:00,080 --> 00:07:04,280 just stop sitting there and help me? Mmm. 157 00:07:04,360 --> 00:07:08,480 Well, I… I'd try, but I… I don't know what you want me to do. 158 00:07:08,560 --> 00:07:11,000 Stan Laurel and Tom Hardy. Ready? 159 00:07:11,400 --> 00:07:14,790 Why don't you come and help me instead of sitting there? 160 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:18,000 I can't hear what you're saying, Tom. You always mumble your lines. 161 00:07:18,320 --> 00:07:19,320 Unh. 162 00:07:20,120 --> 00:07:22,320 I'm not into that. I'm a bit like Tony Hopkins. 163 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,830 - In so far as… - In what sense? 164 00:07:23,920 --> 00:07:25,800 - Er… The… - Both had issues with drink? 165 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:27,200 Er, well, yes. 166 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,760 But that's not what I meant. Er… 167 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:32,040 - Struggled to form long relationships? - Again, true, 168 00:07:32,120 --> 00:07:33,736 - but it's not what I'm talking about. - Okay. 169 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:36,430 What I'm talking about is actually the craft of, 170 00:07:36,560 --> 00:07:38,760 - er, taking the external things… - Yes? 171 00:07:38,840 --> 00:07:41,216 … and looking at yourself in the mirror and thinking, "I know who that is." 172 00:07:41,240 --> 00:07:44,120 And then finding that as a way back inside the characters 173 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:45,430 to find some inner truth. 174 00:07:45,520 --> 00:07:46,600 Just accept the compliment. 175 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:49,430 I was watching you 176 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:51,270 and I forgot about you. 177 00:07:51,360 --> 00:07:55,070 And it was blessed relief. 178 00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,910 And you know what? My wife said, "Rob… 179 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,640 "… it's like a weight 180 00:07:58,720 --> 00:08:00,240 "has been lifted from your shoulders." 181 00:08:00,280 --> 00:08:02,030 She said she'd not seen me look that happy 182 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,720 since we went to see Bruce Springsteen on Broadway. 183 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:06,800 Thank you. Well, I mean, I'll take that… 184 00:08:06,880 --> 00:08:09,520 Who will you do next? 185 00:08:10,440 --> 00:08:11,670 Do? 186 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:18,840 Impressions are everywhere. Look at the Oscars. 187 00:08:19,960 --> 00:08:22,600 Christian Bale was Dick Cheney, that's an impression. 188 00:08:22,680 --> 00:08:25,280 Steve Carell was Donald Rumsfeld, that's an impression. 189 00:08:25,360 --> 00:08:28,160 Gary Oldman as Churchill, that's an impression. 190 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:30,630 - Yes, yes. - Erm, John Hurt… 191 00:08:30,720 --> 00:08:32,840 I'm not an elephant. 192 00:08:32,920 --> 00:08:34,510 I'm not an elephant. 193 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:36,990 - You sound like someone else though. - I know. 194 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:38,880 - Who do I sound like? - I'm not an elephant. 195 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:41,630 I'm not an elephant. I've just got a very large trunk. 196 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:44,030 And quite large feet and tusks. 197 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:46,480 I'm an elephant. No, I'm not an elephant. Ooh. 198 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:48,470 No wonder you call me the Elephant Man. 199 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:50,150 I've just called myself an elephant. 200 00:08:50,240 --> 00:08:52,910 It sounds like sort of a CBeebies version 201 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,560 of The Elephant Man, what you're doing. 202 00:08:54,800 --> 00:08:56,440 I'm not an elephant. 203 00:08:56,520 --> 00:08:59,040 I'm not an elephant. I'm just a human being. 204 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:01,030 Give me the more real imitation now. 205 00:09:01,120 --> 00:09:04,960 - Do what you did with Stan. - I am not an animal. 206 00:09:05,520 --> 00:09:07,670 I am a human being. 207 00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:09,136 You remembered the lisp at the end. 208 00:09:09,160 --> 00:09:10,200 I… 209 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:11,656 Do you realise you were wrong? You saved it. 210 00:09:11,680 --> 00:09:14,150 Yeah, because I was concentrating on the truth 211 00:09:14,240 --> 00:09:15,880 - rather than just an imitation. - Yeah. 212 00:09:15,960 --> 00:09:17,856 Sometimes that means that the imitation falls by the wayside 213 00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:20,760 because you're trying to get to something deeper or more profound. 214 00:09:20,840 --> 00:09:23,720 Mine… Mine are life-enhancing celebratory. 215 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:25,280 Yours are more accurate. 216 00:09:25,360 --> 00:09:27,350 Were you to do a mineral deposit study, 217 00:09:27,440 --> 00:09:29,176 - more accurate. - I would say, yours are celebratory. 218 00:09:29,200 --> 00:09:32,510 But mine sometimes reveal the rather unattractive side of people, 219 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:34,590 and that ultimately can be more poignant. 220 00:09:34,680 --> 00:09:36,750 That's just you bringing a lot of yourself to them. 221 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:42,040 Oh. Thank you very much. 222 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:43,350 Lovely. Really nice. 223 00:09:43,640 --> 00:09:45,680 I'm being bitten. 224 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:47,790 It doesn't help that we're under a tree. 225 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,350 Insects love to be under trees. 226 00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,480 - Do you know why? - I went out on my land recently… 227 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:55,040 - Yeah. - … to sit under a tree… 228 00:09:55,120 --> 00:09:56,656 - Thirty-six acres, isn't it? - Thirty-eight. 229 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:58,720 And I went to sit under a tree just to… 230 00:09:58,800 --> 00:10:00,280 - To think? Just to think. - Well, no. 231 00:10:00,360 --> 00:10:02,750 No, no, to read a book, actually. I put a blanket down, 232 00:10:03,160 --> 00:10:06,310 just 'cause, you know, this tree, and I sat under it and started to read 233 00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,096 and loads of flies started hovering over my head. 234 00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:09,416 - That'll happen, yeah. - So I just got up 235 00:10:09,440 --> 00:10:10,870 and just went back in the house. 236 00:10:11,240 --> 00:10:13,456 - I had this idea that… - Steve Coogan, ladies and gentlemen. 237 00:10:13,480 --> 00:10:15,920 Wonderful stories from Steve. 238 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:18,550 And there will be more from him at the same time next week 239 00:10:18,640 --> 00:10:20,840 you must do that one about the flies under the… 240 00:10:20,920 --> 00:10:23,440 Under the tree. I mean, it's wonderful stuff. 241 00:10:23,520 --> 00:10:27,040 A friend said he saw you at a Lord's Taverners doing that 242 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:29,760 and had the room in the palm of his hand, that's what he said. 243 00:10:30,400 --> 00:10:31,750 Wonderful story. 244 00:10:31,880 --> 00:10:33,110 The new Ustinov. 245 00:10:35,280 --> 00:10:36,600 Steve Coogan. 246 00:10:37,240 --> 00:10:38,536 "Have you heard that story Steve's telling?" 247 00:10:38,560 --> 00:10:39,560 "No, what is it?" 248 00:10:39,640 --> 00:10:41,336 "Oh, he's at the house… You know the house in Sussex?" 249 00:10:41,360 --> 00:10:43,400 "Yeah?" "Well, he took a book out…" 250 00:10:43,480 --> 00:10:46,080 "No, go on." "He wanted to read, 251 00:10:46,200 --> 00:10:48,240 "and he went out, he's got 38 acres." "Yes." 252 00:10:48,560 --> 00:10:50,840 "He finds a tree, puts a blanket down…" 253 00:10:50,920 --> 00:10:51,960 "Oh, it's idyllic." 254 00:10:52,280 --> 00:10:54,430 "… and flies gather above his head, 255 00:10:54,520 --> 00:10:56,560 "he went back in the house." 256 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:00,910 I mean, he's… Oh, god. 257 00:11:01,680 --> 00:11:04,120 God. And some people say he's just Alan Partridge. 258 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:05,550 He's not. 259 00:11:05,640 --> 00:11:07,870 - There's whole other sides to him. - Ah. 260 00:11:08,320 --> 00:11:10,520 - Sorry, sir. Your main courses. - Oh, lovely! 261 00:11:10,600 --> 00:11:11,880 - Very nice. - Thank you. 262 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:14,080 - Lamb chops. - Chops, chop, chop. 263 00:11:15,080 --> 00:11:16,800 - With mint sauce. - Looks lovely! 264 00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,400 Sir. 265 00:11:20,480 --> 00:11:22,696 - Enjoy your lunch, sir. - That's lovely. Thank you very much. 266 00:11:22,720 --> 00:11:24,600 - You like lamb, don't you? - I do. I love lamb. 267 00:11:24,640 --> 00:11:26,360 Lamb's very good 268 00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,496 because, erm, it doesn't lend itself to intensive farming 269 00:11:28,520 --> 00:11:31,040 so if you can't make an organic choice, lamb's a safe bet. 270 00:11:32,680 --> 00:11:35,200 Steve Coogan speaking earlier today at the British Farm Council. 271 00:11:35,240 --> 00:11:37,390 Well, reaction has been swift. 272 00:11:37,520 --> 00:11:40,400 Michael Gove is at the Ministry of Agriculture. 273 00:11:51,680 --> 00:11:54,800 My publisher wants me to use the Odyssey as a peg 274 00:11:54,880 --> 00:11:59,000 on which to hang my odyssey through life of the media and… 275 00:11:59,160 --> 00:12:01,070 Isn't that what you wrote when we were in Spain? 276 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,920 A version of that, yeah, but, erm, it was successful. 277 00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,910 So they want a sort of a variation on the theme. 278 00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:08,080 I do think as you get older, 279 00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,910 it's inevitable you repeat yourself. 280 00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:13,670 This is the fourth time we've been on one of these little jaunts. 281 00:12:13,760 --> 00:12:15,800 Well, originality is overrated, 282 00:12:15,880 --> 00:12:17,760 'cause everything is derivative of something. 283 00:12:17,840 --> 00:12:20,880 The greatest poem in the Roman empire was a rip-off of the Odyssey. 284 00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,000 - So… - Which one? 285 00:12:22,080 --> 00:12:23,280 - The Aeneid. - Oh. 286 00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:26,720 Whereas the Odyssey is about Odysseus fleeing Troy to go home, 287 00:12:27,120 --> 00:12:29,840 erm, the Aeneid is about a Trojan 288 00:12:29,920 --> 00:12:32,910 fleeing the city, er, with his father and his son. 289 00:12:33,320 --> 00:12:34,600 Where was his wife? 290 00:12:35,160 --> 00:12:36,510 He just lost her along the way. 291 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:37,670 Shit happens. 292 00:12:37,760 --> 00:12:40,280 But on the plus side, he went on to found Rome, 293 00:12:40,360 --> 00:12:42,480 so, lose a wife, found an empire. 294 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,856 This feels like a kind of interrogation… 295 00:12:48,880 --> 00:12:50,520 … sitting like this. 296 00:12:53,400 --> 00:12:55,230 - Your dessert, sir. - Thank you. 297 00:12:57,720 --> 00:13:00,440 It's custard with kunefe with black mulberry sauce. 298 00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:01,976 Thank you very much. Could we have the bill, please? 299 00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,096 - Okay, sir. - Thank you very much. 300 00:13:03,120 --> 00:13:04,856 If it was an interrogation, this would be very… 301 00:13:04,880 --> 00:13:06,816 This would be the nice part before the nasty, wouldn't it? 302 00:13:06,840 --> 00:13:08,480 - "Let's have some dessert." - We, we'd… 303 00:13:08,560 --> 00:13:10,680 Wanna make this as pleasant as possible, so… 304 00:13:10,760 --> 00:13:12,430 Oh, great. Yeah, what do you want to know? 305 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,960 Mmm. Lovely, isn't it? 306 00:13:15,040 --> 00:13:16,950 Mmm, lovely combination of textures. 307 00:13:17,040 --> 00:13:18,550 This is not… 308 00:13:19,600 --> 00:13:21,190 This is not too light. 309 00:13:22,040 --> 00:13:23,710 - But it's light. - Hello? 310 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:25,120 Hey, Steve. 311 00:13:25,440 --> 00:13:27,270 Just calling to check everything's okay. 312 00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:28,480 Everything is wonderful. 313 00:13:28,560 --> 00:13:30,070 - I'm here with Rob Brydon… - Hello. 314 00:13:30,160 --> 00:13:31,456 … but apart from that, it's all wonderful. 315 00:13:31,480 --> 00:13:32,720 Hi. Hi, Rob, how are you doing? 316 00:13:32,800 --> 00:13:35,630 All is well. He's not gone missing. I'm keeping an eye on him. 317 00:13:35,920 --> 00:13:37,056 - What are you talking about? - Good. 318 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:39,680 In Morocco, she was very worried when you went off the grid. 319 00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:40,760 Yeah? 320 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,360 She was going to call the authorities, 321 00:13:42,440 --> 00:13:43,790 all the newspapers, 322 00:13:43,880 --> 00:13:45,600 "British comic goes missing." 323 00:13:45,680 --> 00:13:47,110 Er, "British actor." 324 00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:49,400 "British actor, writer, producer goes missing." 325 00:13:49,560 --> 00:13:52,160 British actor goes missing. Friends say, "We had no idea 326 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,880 "the mental turmoil he was under." 327 00:13:54,960 --> 00:13:56,600 We spoke to his close friend Rob Brydon. 328 00:13:56,680 --> 00:13:58,030 Well, I must say… 329 00:13:58,520 --> 00:14:00,270 Spoke to his… His associate. 330 00:14:00,360 --> 00:14:02,350 We spoke to his dear confidant, Rob Brydon… 331 00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,030 His sometime collaborator. 332 00:14:04,120 --> 00:14:06,240 We spoke to popular entertainer Rob Brydon… 333 00:14:06,320 --> 00:14:08,440 Light… Light entertainer Rob Brydon. 334 00:14:08,520 --> 00:14:11,590 We spoke to popular light entertainer and confidant 335 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:14,640 - of troubled star, Rob Brydon… - Troubled TV funny man. 336 00:14:15,040 --> 00:14:17,240 … who said, I had no idea Steve 337 00:14:17,320 --> 00:14:18,880 was suffering in the way he was. 338 00:14:18,960 --> 00:14:20,056 We didn't know he was suffering, 339 00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,640 but then we realised he'd spent six days with Rob Brydon 340 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:24,470 and things started to fall into place then. 341 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,321 - We think this might be a cry for help. - Guys? I've got to go, guys. 342 00:14:27,400 --> 00:14:28,680 Sorry, I've got to go. 343 00:14:28,760 --> 00:14:32,830 Just to let you know that your boat is gonna be leaving Assos at 2:30. 344 00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:35,560 So, you've got to get to Assos to the boat by 2:30, okay? 345 00:14:35,640 --> 00:14:37,336 Your Range Rover will be waiting for you when you arrive… 346 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:39,216 - Get our asses in the boat when? - … In Lesbos. 347 00:14:39,240 --> 00:14:41,310 Wonderful. Looking forward to it, sweetheart. Ta-ta. 348 00:14:41,400 --> 00:14:42,910 Fab. All right. See you. 349 00:14:43,120 --> 00:14:44,870 - Did you understand any of that? - No. 350 00:14:45,360 --> 00:14:47,110 Range Rover waiting for us at Lesbos. 351 00:14:50,960 --> 00:14:53,030 What did happen to you in Morocco? Where were you? 352 00:14:53,120 --> 00:14:55,256 - She was properly worried. - I got… I ran out of petrol 353 00:14:55,280 --> 00:14:57,080 and I fell asleep in the car for the night 354 00:14:57,160 --> 00:14:59,880 and the next day, I was rescued by some very kindly Moroccan men 355 00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:01,520 who took me to an oasis 356 00:15:01,600 --> 00:15:04,880 where I spent a couple of nights recuperating and then I flew home. 357 00:15:04,960 --> 00:15:07,336 But did I tell you about the time I was trapped in the Lake District 358 00:15:07,360 --> 00:15:09,240 - in my Range Rover on a landslide. - Yes. Yeah. 359 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:12,120 And I had to spend the night there and survived on nuts and berries. 360 00:15:12,200 --> 00:15:14,816 You have told me. Have I told you about when I was in a private jet 361 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,656 with George Clooney, I thought it was going to crash? 362 00:15:16,680 --> 00:15:18,560 And it crossed my mind 363 00:15:18,640 --> 00:15:21,160 that I would barely register a mention in the press. 364 00:15:21,240 --> 00:15:24,550 It'd be, "George Clooney and three others perish." 365 00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:27,520 If me, you and George Clooney were in a private jet… 366 00:15:27,600 --> 00:15:29,096 Oh, neither of us would have got a mention. 367 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:31,416 Of course I would. It would be Steve Coogan and George Clooney. 368 00:15:31,440 --> 00:15:34,270 Do you think the Daily Mail are gonna lead with you ahead of Clooney? 369 00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:35,936 No, of course not. The Guardian might, no, uh… 370 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:37,160 The Guardian wouldn't. 371 00:15:37,240 --> 00:15:39,096 Anyway, what were you doing in a private jet with Clooney? 372 00:15:39,120 --> 00:15:40,240 Serving him. 373 00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:43,240 I was going to a charity event in Edinburgh with him. 374 00:15:43,880 --> 00:15:45,520 - Ah! - Sir. 375 00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:48,230 This is water custard with mulberry and almonds. 376 00:15:48,320 --> 00:15:50,070 - Watery custard? Thank you. - Yes. 377 00:15:50,160 --> 00:15:52,310 Thank you. And the bill. Thank you very much indeed. 378 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,070 Thank you. Lovely. 379 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:56,230 Watery custard? 380 00:15:56,760 --> 00:15:58,830 - Sounds like a euphemism. - Nah, for what? 381 00:16:00,240 --> 00:16:01,280 For, er… 382 00:16:04,640 --> 00:16:06,200 Looks a bit like, erm… 383 00:16:08,120 --> 00:16:10,160 I'm not sure about this. 384 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:18,640 All right. Well, you join us in the leafy enclave of Adatepe 385 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:20,710 where we say Steven Coogan, 386 00:16:20,800 --> 00:16:22,920 - would you like to play Guess The Bill? - Nope. 387 00:16:25,480 --> 00:16:27,680 Soulless. Good Lord. 388 00:16:28,240 --> 00:16:30,710 One thousand and forty-six. 389 00:16:31,040 --> 00:16:34,270 But remember, that of course is in the Turkish lira. 390 00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:36,400 So the question for you, Steve Coogan, is this… 391 00:16:36,760 --> 00:16:43,110 Is 1,046 Turkish lira roughly £120, 392 00:16:43,480 --> 00:16:45,840 er, £130, 393 00:16:46,040 --> 00:16:49,160 or £150? 394 00:16:49,400 --> 00:16:51,096 Can I say, Steve, it's lovely to have you back on the show. 395 00:16:51,120 --> 00:16:52,120 You're looking very buff. 396 00:16:52,200 --> 00:16:53,870 You could be in Boyzone so you could. 397 00:16:53,960 --> 00:16:57,160 Coming from a leprechaun as it appears to be who I'm speaking to, 398 00:16:57,360 --> 00:16:59,480 - erm, I'd say that was very good. - Thank you, Steve. 399 00:16:59,560 --> 00:17:00,880 Thank you so much. 400 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:02,000 Erm, £120. 401 00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,800 You're saying it's £120… No helping now from the studio audience. 402 00:17:05,280 --> 00:17:07,296 And I know that you've said anything that you win tonight 403 00:17:07,320 --> 00:17:10,440 you want to go to your favourite charitable foundation, 404 00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:13,120 the Steve Coogan Home Renovation Fund. 405 00:17:13,320 --> 00:17:14,470 The actual amount 406 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:17,200 that 1,046 Turkish lira… 407 00:17:17,280 --> 00:17:19,590 Please don't clear the throat when I'm talking, is… 408 00:17:20,360 --> 00:17:22,830 Roughly £130. 409 00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,240 - What did you say? - £120. 410 00:17:24,320 --> 00:17:26,280 You lose, Steve. From beautiful Turkey, 411 00:17:26,360 --> 00:17:28,480 we say a thank you and a good night. 412 00:17:28,920 --> 00:17:29,920 Wave. 413 00:17:32,240 --> 00:17:33,310 To who? 414 00:17:41,720 --> 00:17:45,560 This is what UNESCO says about Assos. 415 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:49,200 In antiquity, its hilltop location 416 00:17:49,280 --> 00:17:52,160 made Assos an easily defensible port city. 417 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,470 The oldest Doric temple of Asia Minor, 418 00:17:55,560 --> 00:17:57,680 the Temple of Athena at Assos, 419 00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:00,560 is located at the top of the acropolis. 420 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:05,430 That's Lesbos. 421 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:08,720 That's the border between Asia and Europe. 422 00:18:10,360 --> 00:18:11,680 It's close, isn't it? 423 00:18:11,760 --> 00:18:13,560 Yeah, I could swim that. 424 00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:14,870 You could not. 425 00:18:15,480 --> 00:18:17,150 It's only like Byron swimming 426 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,880 the Hellespont from, you know, Asia to Europe in Istanbul. 427 00:18:21,440 --> 00:18:23,696 That's why all the refugees come this way 'cause it's so easy. 428 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:25,680 They don't swim it. They do it in boats. 429 00:18:25,840 --> 00:18:27,120 Yeah, very little boats. 430 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:29,800 Byron said of all the things he'd achieved, 431 00:18:30,040 --> 00:18:32,600 swimming the Hellespont was the thing that made him most proud. 432 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:34,680 Well, fair enough. 433 00:18:35,840 --> 00:18:38,560 What would you say was the thing you were most proud of? 434 00:18:38,640 --> 00:18:41,630 Er, my seven BAFTAs. 435 00:18:41,720 --> 00:18:43,920 Hmm. I think for me, it'd be my children. 436 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:46,120 Yeah, well, 'cause you haven't got any BAFTAs. 437 00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:49,280 Though you have got children, which is interesting. 438 00:18:54,840 --> 00:18:56,240 Now, William, 439 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,216 some of the men are not happy. There are rumblings. 440 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:00,150 Oh, there are rumblings, are there? 441 00:19:00,240 --> 00:19:02,536 You tell the men that we will sail around the Cape of Good Hope 442 00:19:02,560 --> 00:19:04,200 and we will sail around the horn. 443 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:05,840 I think if the weather was this nice, 444 00:19:05,920 --> 00:19:07,560 they would have been a lot more relaxed. 445 00:19:07,640 --> 00:19:10,360 They're loving it, Bill. They really are. 446 00:19:10,440 --> 00:19:12,480 Well, thank you very much, er, Fletcher. 447 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:13,936 You don't mind if I call you Fletcher, do you? 448 00:19:13,960 --> 00:19:15,256 - Call me Fletch if you like. - Thank you. 449 00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:16,280 I'll call you Fletch. 450 00:19:16,360 --> 00:19:17,856 - Can I call you Bill? - Yeah, of course you can. 451 00:19:17,880 --> 00:19:19,390 No, I'd rather call you Mr Christian. 452 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:20,600 Not Fletch? 453 00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:43,280 A-ha! 454 00:19:44,120 --> 00:19:46,920 He said, "A-ha!" 455 00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,070 Who is that? 456 00:19:49,920 --> 00:19:51,240 A-ha! 457 00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:56,230 A-ha! 458 00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,480 You've had a huge drive then. 459 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:03,430 Yeah, it was a monster, really. 460 00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:05,080 - Are you flying back now? - Yeah. 461 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:07,200 - It's Steve. Oh, my God. - Here are the keys. 462 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:08,670 Thank you. 463 00:20:08,760 --> 00:20:10,160 - Yeah, enjoy. - Full tank? 464 00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,336 Tank is full and it's a hybrid, 465 00:20:11,360 --> 00:20:12,760 - so you've got the… - Steve? 466 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:14,670 - Good to know. - I've got a plane to catch. 467 00:20:14,760 --> 00:20:15,960 All right, good. That's good. 468 00:20:16,040 --> 00:20:17,550 Safe flight. Cheers. Bye-bye. 469 00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:20,440 Steve, how are you? This is Kareem. 470 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:23,510 Do you remember me? We worked together in Mykonos. 471 00:20:24,640 --> 00:20:26,920 I play the refugees in the beach. 472 00:20:27,080 --> 00:20:28,230 Okay. 473 00:20:29,440 --> 00:20:30,920 - Do you remember me? - Refugee? 474 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,040 - Yes. - How are you? 475 00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:33,920 - I am Kareem. How are you? - Hi. Very good. 476 00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,296 - I'm good. How are you? - Good, good. Good. 477 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:36,496 - Yeah, really good. - So good to see you. 478 00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:37,520 - Hiya, Rob. - Rob. 479 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:38,760 Nice to meet you. I'm Kareem. 480 00:20:38,800 --> 00:20:39,840 - Hello. - That's, er… 481 00:20:39,920 --> 00:20:40,990 What are you doing here? 482 00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:42,880 Er, well, it's not a holiday. We're with… 483 00:20:42,960 --> 00:20:46,750 Actually working with… We're retracing the steps of, er, Odysseus, 484 00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,350 you know, going from Troy to Ithaca. 485 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,430 What about you? Are you still with the refugees? 486 00:20:50,520 --> 00:20:52,110 I'm working with the refugees still. 487 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:54,256 - What, there are refugees still here? - Yes. Yes. Yes. 488 00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:56,000 - Thousands of refugees. Yes. - Thousands? 489 00:20:56,280 --> 00:20:58,000 You know, maybe I need a lift. 490 00:20:58,760 --> 00:21:01,560 Maybe it could be so good for you to come and see. 491 00:21:01,800 --> 00:21:03,150 It's very good for your odyssey. 492 00:21:03,640 --> 00:21:05,150 - I'm sorry. Now? - Yes. 493 00:21:05,240 --> 00:21:07,496 I would love to, but we've got to… Where are we going next? 494 00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:09,270 - We've got to… - You know what? 495 00:21:09,360 --> 00:21:12,800 We're not so busy that we can't spare enough time to drop him off. 496 00:21:13,040 --> 00:21:15,320 That's what odysseys are all about. Well, hop in the car. 497 00:21:15,400 --> 00:21:17,960 It'll be good for Rob to see a refugee camp too. 498 00:21:18,040 --> 00:21:19,656 - You're going to see a refugee camp now. - Yeah. 499 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:21,616 - It'd be good for me see a refugee camp. - Thank you guys for the lift. 500 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,120 - Thanks, Steve. - No worries. 501 00:21:25,240 --> 00:21:26,880 It's a really nice car, Steve. 502 00:21:26,960 --> 00:21:28,760 Thanks. It's not mine. It's, erm… 503 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:32,040 It was loaned to me for this… 504 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:33,896 - Us. To us. - … thing we're doing. Well, to us. 505 00:21:33,920 --> 00:21:36,200 I mean, it's a hybrid, so it's half electric. 506 00:21:36,280 --> 00:21:40,270 So it kind of cushions the impacts that a monster gas guzzler would have. 507 00:21:40,360 --> 00:21:41,696 That's important to you, isn't it? 508 00:21:41,720 --> 00:21:43,790 - Well, it is. - All of the environmental thing. 509 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,040 - But, er… - Steve has nine cars, Kareem. 510 00:21:46,120 --> 00:21:47,520 - Nine cars. - Nine cars, yeah. 511 00:21:47,600 --> 00:21:49,510 - Oh, so good, man. - That's… 512 00:21:49,600 --> 00:21:51,680 - That's irrelevant. - How many of them are electric? 513 00:21:52,080 --> 00:21:53,480 - I have an electric car. - Yeah. 514 00:21:53,560 --> 00:21:55,070 We're writing an article… 515 00:21:55,160 --> 00:21:57,176 - I'm writing an article for… - I'm writing an article. 516 00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:58,320 Rob is. I'm… 517 00:21:58,400 --> 00:22:00,790 Steve doesn't have time to actually write it. 518 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,600 He's got a lot of weighty thoughts. 519 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,536 - Well, I do write… - He's got to service his cars. 520 00:22:04,560 --> 00:22:05,816 I mean, that takes a lot of his time. 521 00:22:05,840 --> 00:22:08,280 Anyhow, so… So what's been going on? 522 00:22:08,360 --> 00:22:11,270 What… What are you up to at the moment? 523 00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:14,240 I'm here now to set up a cultural event. 524 00:22:14,320 --> 00:22:16,040 It's a musical and dance. 525 00:22:16,240 --> 00:22:18,360 - Really? - We do some music courses, 526 00:22:18,440 --> 00:22:19,510 music therapy. 527 00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,070 - They do some teaching. - Fantastic. 528 00:22:22,160 --> 00:22:24,440 Some community building, inclusion. 529 00:22:24,800 --> 00:22:26,200 - Great. - Here we are. 530 00:22:26,280 --> 00:22:28,030 This is a small city. 531 00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:30,760 Gosh. 532 00:22:31,200 --> 00:22:33,270 So, what's this barbed wire for? Is it some… 533 00:22:33,360 --> 00:22:34,560 Looks like a prison camp. 534 00:22:34,640 --> 00:22:37,160 Is that to stop people getting in or stop them getting out? 535 00:22:37,240 --> 00:22:39,440 Obviously of this camp is really prison. 536 00:22:40,520 --> 00:22:43,960 It's a lot more established than I would have expected. 537 00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,400 Really nice to meet you. Good luck with everything. 538 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:51,760 Hope it all works out. 539 00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:53,920 All right, goodbye. 540 00:22:54,880 --> 00:22:56,390 - Oh, Steve. - Hey, man. 541 00:22:56,480 --> 00:22:58,840 - Thank you very much. - Okay, thank you. Yeah. 542 00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:00,880 I'm coming to Britain. I hope to see you there. 543 00:23:00,960 --> 00:23:03,350 - You've got my e-mail, so… - Yes. I will contact you. 544 00:23:03,440 --> 00:23:05,160 Thank you. Do the turning here. 545 00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:06,520 I will go inside. 546 00:23:22,520 --> 00:23:23,870 Well, that was sobering. 547 00:23:23,960 --> 00:23:25,470 Imagine living in that. 548 00:23:25,960 --> 00:23:27,680 - For years and years and years. - Hmm. 549 00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:31,040 Well, it's just like the Greeks, er, camped outside Troy, 550 00:23:31,120 --> 00:23:32,550 best part of 10 years. 551 00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:34,560 Too long. I've said it before, I'll say it again. 552 00:23:34,640 --> 00:23:36,680 That's too long for camping. 553 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:39,000 A nice guy. 554 00:23:39,400 --> 00:23:41,680 Er, yes. He's… Yeah, well, erm… 555 00:23:41,760 --> 00:23:43,680 Yeah, he's a very nice bloke. I mean, I know him. 556 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:45,800 We worked together last year on a film. 557 00:23:46,640 --> 00:23:49,680 - He said. - He played a sort of version of himself. 558 00:23:50,480 --> 00:23:51,880 You didn't remember him, did you? 559 00:23:52,280 --> 00:23:54,000 What? Of course I remembered him. 560 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,990 I bloody worked with him for a month at least, 561 00:23:58,600 --> 00:24:00,160 so of course I remembered him. 562 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,080 Well, maybe not at first, but eventually, yeah. 563 00:24:02,120 --> 00:24:04,510 I mean, "Hey, how are you doing?" You know, and… 564 00:24:05,800 --> 00:24:07,200 What's his name? 565 00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:10,950 What's his name? 566 00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,896 I'm not gonna be tested by you asking me, "What's his name? What's his name?" 567 00:24:13,920 --> 00:24:16,670 I'm not testing you. I'm just interested to see what's his name? 568 00:24:21,120 --> 00:24:23,270 - Khaled. - Oh, jeez. 569 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:25,440 It's Kareem. 570 00:24:25,520 --> 00:24:27,190 Okay, I got the first syllable right. 571 00:24:27,280 --> 00:24:28,870 Oh, well done. 572 00:24:34,680 --> 00:24:36,960 You know where the word "lesbian" comes from? Mr Bond. 573 00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:39,640 Yes, well, it's from the island. From Lesbos. 574 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:41,390 Yes, but the island of Lesbos 575 00:24:41,480 --> 00:24:42,960 existed before the term "lesbian." 576 00:24:43,040 --> 00:24:45,096 - "Lesbian" probably… - Yes, hence lesbian comes from… 577 00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:46,856 - From the island of Lesbos. - That's what I said. 578 00:24:46,880 --> 00:24:48,800 All right, okay. I was just making sure you know. 579 00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,920 Sappho was the priestess who wrote erotic poetry 580 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:53,910 to all these women she loved 581 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:55,750 and was obsessed with. 582 00:24:55,840 --> 00:24:59,830 And she was the most celebrated poet, 583 00:24:59,920 --> 00:25:03,520 not lesbian, but the most celebrated poets in ancient Greece. 584 00:25:03,600 --> 00:25:06,200 And she was a woman. And she was a lesbian. 585 00:25:06,280 --> 00:25:09,720 Sappho's poetry was accompanied by the lyre, L-Y-R-E, 586 00:25:09,800 --> 00:25:11,456 - you know, those ones that… - The little guitar. 587 00:25:11,480 --> 00:25:12,896 - Yeah, the little guitar… - Played by the cherub. 588 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:14,416 - Played by the cherubs. Well done. - Yes. 589 00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:16,056 And that's where the word "lyric" comes from. 590 00:25:16,080 --> 00:25:17,880 - Words to a lyre. - Right. 591 00:25:17,960 --> 00:25:19,280 - Lyrics. - Yes. 592 00:25:19,720 --> 00:25:21,280 It's a shame we're getting the ferry. 593 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,080 I would like to stay in the Hotel Lesbian 594 00:25:24,160 --> 00:25:25,480 as I'm sure you would. 595 00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:26,960 I think… 596 00:25:27,040 --> 00:25:29,600 Come, come, Mr Bond, you like staying in the Hotel Lesbian 597 00:25:29,680 --> 00:25:31,430 just as much as I do? 598 00:25:31,520 --> 00:25:34,270 If I can get my head down in the Lesbian, 599 00:25:34,360 --> 00:25:36,160 I'm more than happy. 600 00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:40,550 Welcome to the Hotel Lesbian. You can check out anytime you like, 601 00:25:40,640 --> 00:25:42,630 - but you can never leave. - You can never leave. 602 00:25:58,600 --> 00:26:00,750 ♪ Sailing 603 00:26:01,280 --> 00:26:04,720 ♪ I am sailing 604 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:08,240 ♪ Home again 605 00:26:08,720 --> 00:26:11,000 ♪ Across the sea 606 00:26:12,240 --> 00:26:15,310 ♪ I am sailing 607 00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:19,070 ♪ Stormy waters 608 00:26:19,440 --> 00:26:22,750 ♪ To be near you 609 00:26:23,000 --> 00:26:25,750 ♪ To be free ♪ 610 00:26:27,560 --> 00:26:31,320 When I was in Australia, there was a 25-year-old girl on the crew 611 00:26:31,400 --> 00:26:33,680 who'd never heard of Rod Stewart. 612 00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,990 Never heard those two words in that order. 613 00:26:36,920 --> 00:26:37,976 So when I used to go out with a girl, 614 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:39,990 I used to say, "Remember this, and remember that." 615 00:26:40,080 --> 00:26:42,990 And now I just go, "When I was young, we used to do this." 616 00:26:46,080 --> 00:26:49,280 ♪ I am sailing 617 00:26:49,880 --> 00:26:53,110 ♪ I am sailing 618 00:26:53,440 --> 00:26:56,640 ♪ Home again 619 00:26:57,040 --> 00:26:59,920 ♪ Across the sea 620 00:27:00,360 --> 00:27:03,560 ♪ I am sailing 621 00:27:03,880 --> 00:27:07,110 ♪ Stormy waters 622 00:27:07,480 --> 00:27:10,710 ♪ To be near you 623 00:27:10,840 --> 00:27:13,670 ♪ To be free 624 00:27:13,760 --> 00:27:17,670 ♪ Oh, Lord, to be near you 625 00:27:18,280 --> 00:27:20,950 ♪ To be free 626 00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:25,240 ♪ Oh, Lord, to be near you 627 00:27:25,920 --> 00:27:28,640 ♪ To be free ♪