1
00:00:31,920 --> 00:00:34,310
- I have to get the ferry.
- Okay.
2
00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:36,550
Bye.
3
00:01:05,280 --> 00:01:06,280
Morning.
4
00:01:07,320 --> 00:01:08,320
Your breakfast.
5
00:01:08,400 --> 00:01:10,680
You heard fireworks last night?
What was that about?
6
00:01:10,760 --> 00:01:12,670
I woke up.
I thought I was in a war zone.
7
00:01:12,760 --> 00:01:14,560
I watched them with Yolanda.
8
00:01:14,760 --> 00:01:18,070
So, indoor fireworks as well as
outdoor fireworks, I'm imagining.
9
00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:21,520
Well, I don't like to talk
about what I do, er…
10
00:01:21,600 --> 00:01:23,990
What happens between me and a woman.
11
00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:26,910
I think it's, er, indiscreet,
12
00:01:27,000 --> 00:01:31,950
but suffice to say, er,
I stormed her decks, er,
13
00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:34,630
climbed her riggings,
set fire to her mainsail,
14
00:01:34,720 --> 00:01:36,710
- captured everyone onboard…
- Slit their throats?
15
00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:38,630
No. No, no, no. That's horrible. No.
16
00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:41,440
I treated all the prisoners
in accordance with
17
00:01:41,520 --> 00:01:43,840
- the Geneva Convention. Yes, yes.
- The Geneva Convention.
18
00:01:45,160 --> 00:01:47,520
I think she could be the one, you know?
Yolanda.
19
00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:49,560
I do.
20
00:01:50,080 --> 00:01:51,830
No. No, I don't think so.
21
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,110
- Too old?
- No. No, no. It's…
22
00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:55,680
- Too Spanish?
- No. No.
23
00:01:56,440 --> 00:01:57,510
Huh?
24
00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:00,280
Oh, I think she's good.
She laughs at your jokes.
25
00:02:00,520 --> 00:02:03,320
Which is important. It's important
to have a good sense of humour.
26
00:02:03,400 --> 00:02:05,120
I didn't say
she had a good sense of humour.
27
00:02:05,760 --> 00:02:08,910
I think when you get older,
making it to the laugh is important.
28
00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:11,720
When you stop fancying each other
and you stop having sex,
29
00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,120
you still make each other laugh.
30
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,416
Or you could probably make her laugh
while you're having sex.
31
00:02:15,440 --> 00:02:17,960
Well, yeah, but that's nervous laughter.
32
00:02:18,040 --> 00:02:20,030
You're terrified.
33
00:02:20,120 --> 00:02:22,110
That's… I mean, you know,
a laugh's a laugh.
34
00:02:22,200 --> 00:02:24,400
A laugh's a laugh.
You're not gonna turn it down.
35
00:02:24,480 --> 00:02:26,070
Good morning. Kalimera.
36
00:02:26,160 --> 00:02:28,550
- Morning. Kalimera.
- Did you enjoy your breakfast today?
37
00:02:28,640 --> 00:02:30,230
- Delicious.
- Delicious. Yes, lovely.
38
00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:32,990
Thank you. Shall I have your bags
to take them to the boat?
39
00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:34,600
- Please.
- Yes, please.
40
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:37,160
- Mine are in my room, ready to go.
- And mine are in my room.
41
00:02:41,280 --> 00:02:43,720
- Hello.
- Hello, sir.
42
00:02:43,800 --> 00:02:45,470
Is one of you guys Christos?
43
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,920
- Yes.
- Oh, okay. Hi, Christos.
44
00:02:48,360 --> 00:02:49,816
- How do you do?
- How are you doing? Very good.
45
00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:51,560
- Hi, thank you.
- So, er…
46
00:02:51,640 --> 00:02:54,160
We're good to go
to Monemvasia today, yeah?
47
00:02:54,240 --> 00:02:56,310
Well, go to Monemvasia
is not possible.
48
00:02:56,440 --> 00:02:58,800
- What?
- Because the weather is very bad.
49
00:02:58,880 --> 00:03:01,056
Tell him we have to go today
'cause my wife is coming tomorrow.
50
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,200
We have to go.
We have appointments with people.
51
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,840
We have to go today.
My wife arrives tomorrow,
52
00:03:05,920 --> 00:03:07,070
so we have to go today.
53
00:03:07,160 --> 00:03:09,760
But you must to take another boat,
54
00:03:09,840 --> 00:03:11,430
- ferry, more big.
- Okay.
55
00:03:11,520 --> 00:03:13,576
- And you can go by him.
- And we can pay for that and take…
56
00:03:13,600 --> 00:03:15,400
- Yes.
- And how… How much is that?
57
00:03:15,480 --> 00:03:16,910
About 500 more.
58
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,480
- Bloody hell, 500?
- Euros.
59
00:03:18,560 --> 00:03:20,920
Pay it, just pay the man.
I mean, we have to go.
60
00:03:25,040 --> 00:03:26,680
Doesn't seem that windy to me.
61
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,110
Not any more than you'd expect.
62
00:03:31,200 --> 00:03:33,000
I think you might have been conned.
63
00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:37,350
It's choppy.
There are no small craft around.
64
00:03:39,120 --> 00:03:41,240
Yeah, 500.
65
00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:42,990
I think he saw you coming.
66
00:03:44,360 --> 00:03:48,670
You know what I should have said to you
when he was, er, asking you for 500?
67
00:03:50,720 --> 00:03:53,030
♪ Don't pay the ferryman
68
00:03:53,520 --> 00:03:56,160
♪ Don't even fix a price
69
00:03:56,360 --> 00:03:58,270
♪ Don't pay the ferryman
70
00:03:58,360 --> 00:04:01,350
♪ Until he gets you to the other side
71
00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:04,910
♪ There were voices in my head
"Don't do it!"
72
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:08,070
♪ Voices in my head, "Don't do it!
73
00:04:08,160 --> 00:04:12,120
♪ And still those voices carried on
74
00:04:12,200 --> 00:04:14,080
♪ Whatever you do
75
00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,830
♪ Don't pay the ferryman
76
00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:19,560
♪ Don't even fix a price
77
00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:21,950
♪ Don't pay the ferryman
78
00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:25,160
♪ Until he gets you to the other side ♪
79
00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:26,670
You told me to pay him.
80
00:04:26,920 --> 00:04:29,910
Yeah, I know. But I said I "should"
have listened to Chris.
81
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,750
Do you know what river
that's referring to?
82
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:33,280
The Styx.
83
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:35,120
- Do you know what that is?
- No.
84
00:04:35,280 --> 00:04:38,190
The mythical subterranean river,
85
00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:40,400
in Greek mythology. The river Styx.
86
00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:43,360
You've been reading that
Stephen Fry book again, haven't you?
87
00:04:45,080 --> 00:04:46,880
- There he is.
- There he is, John Bonham.
88
00:04:46,960 --> 00:04:48,870
- James Taylor.
- James Taylor, yeah.
89
00:04:49,320 --> 00:04:51,550
- Hello. Welcome back.
- Hey. Thank you very much.
90
00:04:51,640 --> 00:04:53,496
- You have a good time in Hydra?
- Yeah, great. Amazing.
91
00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:54,640
Excellent.
92
00:04:54,720 --> 00:04:56,840
♪ Forever and ever
93
00:04:56,920 --> 00:04:59,040
♪ Forever and ever
94
00:04:59,120 --> 00:05:02,000
♪ You'll be the one
95
00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:03,200
Well, it's not… It's…
96
00:05:03,280 --> 00:05:04,480
♪ Who will shine…
97
00:05:04,560 --> 00:05:05,760
It's falsetto, isn't it?
98
00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:08,150
Well, it gets to falsetto.
It doesn't start falsetto.
99
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,696
It's… Okay. It's not…
No, it's not forever.
100
00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:11,390
♪ Forever and ever…
101
00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:12,750
♪ Ever and ever…
102
00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:13,990
Don't start there, Steve.
103
00:05:14,080 --> 00:05:15,990
As… As your proctologist,
104
00:05:16,080 --> 00:05:18,070
I would advise you, do not start there.
105
00:05:18,160 --> 00:05:19,160
Let's see what happens.
106
00:05:19,240 --> 00:05:20,960
♪ Ever and ever
107
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:24,640
♪ Forever and ever
you'll be the one…
108
00:05:24,720 --> 00:05:27,160
Oh, now see what's happened.
Half the audience has left.
109
00:05:27,240 --> 00:05:28,960
♪ Ever and ever
110
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:32,720
♪ Forever and ever
you'll be the one
111
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:34,080
Hello, viewers.
112
00:05:34,160 --> 00:05:35,640
♪ Ever and ever
113
00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:39,480
♪ Forever and ever
you'll be the one
114
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:43,120
♪ Who shines on me
115
00:05:43,200 --> 00:05:46,320
♪ For all eternity…
116
00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,016
To be fair, when Demis did it,
he had very…
117
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:49,190
♪ Forever and ever
118
00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:52,960
♪ Forever and ever,
you'll be the one
119
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:55,216
- He used falsetto.
- Are you deliberately doing it badly?
120
00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:56,280
♪ Who shines on me
121
00:05:56,360 --> 00:05:57,360
Right. Okay, ready?
122
00:05:57,440 --> 00:06:00,080
♪ For all eternity
123
00:06:00,160 --> 00:06:01,560
- Can I have a go?
- Yeah, go on.
124
00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,880
♪ Ever and ever
125
00:06:04,960 --> 00:06:09,560
♪ Forever and ever
You'll be the one
126
00:06:09,640 --> 00:06:11,390
He didn't do that. He did falsetto.
127
00:06:11,640 --> 00:06:12,640
He used falsetto.
128
00:06:12,720 --> 00:06:15,030
Did I talk over you doing it
129
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,240
and tell you how to do it?
130
00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:19,430
- No.
- No, because you don't know how to.
131
00:06:19,520 --> 00:06:21,736
Well, obviously you don't know
how to do it 'cause it as falsetto.
132
00:06:21,760 --> 00:06:23,360
- He went into falsetto.
- Ever and ever…
133
00:06:23,440 --> 00:06:25,960
Yes, he went into it,
but I haven't reached that stage yet.
134
00:06:26,040 --> 00:06:27,880
- Well, you did…
- He didn't start in falsetto.
135
00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:28,920
- Did he, Steve?
- No. No.
136
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,120
Did I start in falsetto?
137
00:06:30,200 --> 00:06:31,496
- No.
- So I was doing the same as Demis.
138
00:06:31,520 --> 00:06:33,030
And when you got to the high notes,
139
00:06:33,120 --> 00:06:34,800
- you also remained out of falsetto.
- Car!
140
00:06:34,880 --> 00:06:36,360
Out of falsetto.
141
00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:37,536
- Here we go.
- Even on the high notes.
142
00:06:37,560 --> 00:06:38,616
Right. Here we go, here we go.
143
00:06:38,640 --> 00:06:40,790
How about you do
a sponsored silence now for charity?
144
00:06:40,880 --> 00:06:42,160
- Okay, go on.
- Here we go.
145
00:06:43,080 --> 00:06:44,960
♪ Ever and ever
146
00:06:45,040 --> 00:06:50,240
♪ Forever and ever
you'll be the one
147
00:06:50,880 --> 00:06:54,350
♪ That shines on me
148
00:06:54,440 --> 00:06:57,880
♪ Like the morning sun
149
00:06:58,320 --> 00:07:02,310
♪ Ever and ever and ever and ever
150
00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:05,870
♪ You'll be
be the one
151
00:07:05,960 --> 00:07:09,560
♪ Who shines on me
152
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:11,040
♪ Like the morning sun
153
00:07:11,120 --> 00:07:13,790
- It's not castrato.
- Wait, wait, wait.
154
00:07:13,880 --> 00:07:16,630
♪ All my life and now
155
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,790
- ♪ I have been yearning…
- Shall I call an ambulance?
156
00:07:19,880 --> 00:07:23,160
- Shall I call an ambulance?
- ♪ Every day with you
157
00:07:23,240 --> 00:07:27,870
♪ My heart is turning
158
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:29,760
♪ Forever and ever… ♪
159
00:07:29,840 --> 00:07:32,000
What the hell are you doing?
You're all over the place.
160
00:07:32,840 --> 00:07:35,070
You were shocked
by the power of my falsetto.
161
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:37,070
♪ Forever and ever
162
00:07:37,160 --> 00:07:42,000
♪ Forever and ever
you'll be the one
163
00:07:42,440 --> 00:07:45,800
♪ Who shines on me
164
00:07:45,880 --> 00:07:50,160
♪ For all eternity… ♪
165
00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:03,680
- Hello?
- Hey, hello. You all right?
166
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:04,880
Yeah, very good, thank you.
167
00:08:04,960 --> 00:08:06,760
- Is everything sorted?
- It is.
168
00:08:06,840 --> 00:08:08,800
Emma's organised it all.
She says it'll be fine.
169
00:08:10,040 --> 00:08:11,950
- Hello?
- Hey, Katherine.
170
00:08:12,280 --> 00:08:15,750
Er, it's… Erm, it's Steve.
How are you?
171
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:18,270
Yeah, I'm fine, thank you.
What can I do for you?
172
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,376
I'm trying to get Joe.
He's not answering his mobile.
173
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:21,400
Is he there?
174
00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,960
- Er, yep, yep.
- Oh, good.
175
00:08:26,160 --> 00:08:27,880
I'm sorry about your dad, by the way.
176
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:30,350
Oh, thank you. Yeah, yeah.
177
00:08:30,440 --> 00:08:31,840
Joe's here. Have a chat with him.
178
00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:33,240
Take care, Okay? Bye.
179
00:08:33,320 --> 00:08:34,640
- Thanks, love.
- Thanks.
180
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,080
Hey, Dad.
181
00:08:36,240 --> 00:08:37,310
Hey, how are you doing?
182
00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:39,496
- Yeah, I'm all right, thank you.
- Good, good.
183
00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:40,950
- How are you?
- Great, great.
184
00:08:41,040 --> 00:08:42,440
Listen, how's Grandad?
185
00:08:42,600 --> 00:08:43,920
Oh, he's okay.
186
00:08:44,160 --> 00:08:45,640
You know, I mean same as yesterday.
187
00:08:45,720 --> 00:08:47,070
He seems… He seems stable.
188
00:08:55,720 --> 00:08:57,150
What's amazing about the Mani
189
00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:58,736
is that thousands of years ago
when it was ruled by…
190
00:08:58,760 --> 00:09:02,550
When Sparta was the most powerful
nation state in Ancient Greece,
191
00:09:02,640 --> 00:09:04,680
to be part of the ruling council
192
00:09:04,800 --> 00:09:06,870
- you had to be over 60 years old.
- Yes.
193
00:09:06,960 --> 00:09:08,310
- I will be too young…
- Yes, yes.
194
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:10,256
- … to be part of the government.
- Would you think…
195
00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,240
I'd be like some young rapscallion.
196
00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,520
The ruling council would be there
in their robes, the elders, very wise
197
00:09:15,600 --> 00:09:16,936
and I'd be hanging around,
they'd be going,
198
00:09:16,960 --> 00:09:19,400
"Get out of here, Steve,
you silly young thing."
199
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,270
You'd be looked upon
as a young whippersnapper.
200
00:09:22,360 --> 00:09:23,360
Yeah, a rapscallion.
201
00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:24,656
- Bit of a danger.
- A young Turk.
202
00:09:24,680 --> 00:09:26,840
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Man about town.
203
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:30,360
It's very in keeping
with how things have ended up now.
204
00:09:30,440 --> 00:09:32,590
If you look at the age
of politicians now, er,
205
00:09:32,680 --> 00:09:35,320
Trump is 73, 74.
206
00:09:35,400 --> 00:09:38,000
Bernie Sanders, er, is older.
207
00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:41,680
Reagan, when he was President,
was 78!
208
00:09:41,760 --> 00:09:43,480
- Yeah.
- Could you imagine that?
209
00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:45,760
I would have no interest.
210
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,400
I… I'm 54.
211
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,550
- I don't wanna run…
- Yeah.
212
00:09:49,920 --> 00:09:52,880
I don't wanna run a newsagent,
never mind running the country.
213
00:09:52,960 --> 00:09:54,520
It's hard being a politician. You…
214
00:09:54,600 --> 00:09:56,456
You're up at the crack of dawn
to go on Radio 4,
215
00:09:56,480 --> 00:09:58,976
- stay up late to go on Newsnight.
- Yeah. Well, they're passionate.
216
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,990
- I would rather be at home…
- They're driven.
217
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:03,120
- … in bed with my wife. Asleep.
- Yeah.
218
00:10:03,200 --> 00:10:05,216
Well, in Ancient Greece,
they drew lots to decide who should…
219
00:10:05,240 --> 00:10:07,376
- Yes, it was totally democratic.
- It was very healthy.
220
00:10:07,400 --> 00:10:08,990
But you could end up with an idiot.
221
00:10:09,080 --> 00:10:11,310
Yes, but they're balanced.
By the law of averages,
222
00:10:11,400 --> 00:10:13,616
you're gonna end up
with some people who reflect society…
223
00:10:13,640 --> 00:10:15,896
- But imagine one idiot.
- It's like jury service, isn't it?
224
00:10:15,920 --> 00:10:17,560
- Yeah.
- You weed out some of the idiots
225
00:10:17,640 --> 00:10:19,790
in jury service. Any racists or morons.
226
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,790
I've never done jury service.
Do you think I've been weeded out?
227
00:10:23,200 --> 00:10:25,430
I don't think…
I think you're on the list,
228
00:10:25,520 --> 00:10:27,176
but you're kind of quite low
down the bottom.
229
00:10:27,200 --> 00:10:28,200
Is that why?
230
00:10:28,560 --> 00:10:30,470
- I've assumed I'd been lucky.
- No, no.
231
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:32,150
Would you ever run for public office?
232
00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:33,360
No. No.
233
00:10:33,440 --> 00:10:35,480
Because you'd be a great orator,
wouldn't you?
234
00:10:35,560 --> 00:10:39,110
- With your skills of speaking.
- I don't…
235
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,840
You're worried they've been
digging through your past?
236
00:10:42,880 --> 00:10:44,936
No, I don't. I'm not bothered.
No, I'm not worried about that.
237
00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:46,550
'Cause that's a pro nowadays.
238
00:10:46,640 --> 00:10:48,710
I mean, look at…
Look at some of these people.
239
00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:50,920
Look at your Trumps and your Johnsons.
240
00:10:50,960 --> 00:10:52,480
- They've all done stuff.
- Yeah. Yeah.
241
00:10:52,640 --> 00:10:54,790
- Well, you know…
- They're not on your level, but…
242
00:10:54,880 --> 00:10:56,920
If you think about Heracles,
243
00:10:57,280 --> 00:11:00,080
- he was someone…
- "Heracles?" Don't you mean "Hercules"?
244
00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:03,040
Er, if you're using the Roman name,
then yes, it'd be Hercules.
245
00:11:03,120 --> 00:11:05,190
- I only know him from the film.
- Okay.
246
00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:08,400
Well, Heracles, er,
is the Greek name for him.
247
00:11:08,480 --> 00:11:09,990
He murdered his wife and children.
248
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:12,680
You know Schwarzenegger played him
in the movie.
249
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,880
Okay, the labours of Hercules,
if you like…
250
00:11:14,960 --> 00:11:17,520
- Hercules in New York.
- Yes… was if you…
251
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:19,110
One of his first movies.
252
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:21,320
Thank you. From a Christian perspective
253
00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,710
is basically him serving his penance.
254
00:11:23,800 --> 00:11:25,360
Can't even imagine Christianity
255
00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:27,216
forgiving a man
for murdering his wife and children.
256
00:11:27,240 --> 00:11:29,070
- Well, you're quite right, too.
- Well, yes…
257
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:30,910
Mr Coogan, are you suggesting that
258
00:11:31,000 --> 00:11:32,910
the man standing before us today
259
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:35,880
who murdered his wife and children
should be forgiven?
260
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,110
Hercules, Arnold played him
261
00:11:38,200 --> 00:11:39,920
in Hercules in New York.
262
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,720
- Hercules in New York.
- It was one of my first films.
263
00:11:42,800 --> 00:11:45,080
"One of my first…"
You sound a bit like, er,
264
00:11:45,160 --> 00:11:47,376
- Werner Herzog there.
- That is right. That's what I was doing.
265
00:11:47,400 --> 00:11:48,400
I was doing Werner.
266
00:11:48,480 --> 00:11:50,120
It was one of my first films.
267
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,640
It was very hard to do.
268
00:11:52,720 --> 00:11:56,030
I had to get Arnold Schwarzenegger
to do it for me.
269
00:11:56,120 --> 00:12:00,000
My name is Giorgio.
Everybody calls me George.
270
00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,080
- Anyway, erm…
- Remember that?
271
00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,040
The point is, the depiction of a deity
272
00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,070
is one way. It's a flawed individual.
273
00:12:10,160 --> 00:12:11,976
All the Greek gods are flawed.
They all murdered their wives.
274
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,800
The kids murdered the husbands,
the husbands…
275
00:12:13,880 --> 00:12:15,840
They're all murdering each other
all the time.
276
00:12:15,920 --> 00:12:17,400
- Right.
- I mean, bloody hell, they…
277
00:12:17,480 --> 00:12:18,960
They even eat the kids sometimes.
278
00:12:19,040 --> 00:12:20,190
So, so, so you're…
279
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:21,950
And vomit them back up whole.
280
00:12:25,160 --> 00:12:28,680
So, we are going to start
with one salad.
281
00:12:28,760 --> 00:12:30,270
- Good idea.
- Thank you.
282
00:12:30,360 --> 00:12:31,360
- Thank you.
- Marvellous.
283
00:12:31,440 --> 00:12:32,480
Yeah, perfect.
284
00:12:32,600 --> 00:12:34,640
Make some space
and put it into the middle.
285
00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:36,150
- Mmm-hmm.
- Thank you.
286
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:39,920
One Mediterranean dip. And just
one moment for the bread, please.
287
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,350
- Thank you.
- Already enjoy.
288
00:12:41,440 --> 00:12:42,440
Thank you.
289
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:43,776
- She's a charming…
- Did you hear that?
290
00:12:43,800 --> 00:12:45,256
- Charming little thing.
- "Already enjoy".
291
00:12:45,280 --> 00:12:46,840
- Already enjoy.
- What a lovely slogan.
292
00:12:46,920 --> 00:12:48,920
- Yes, it is.
- I'd like to have that on a T-shirt.
293
00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:52,070
- Yeah, well…
- Already enjoy.
294
00:12:52,160 --> 00:12:53,936
… you're a bit old for T-shirts
with slogans on,
295
00:12:53,960 --> 00:12:55,080
if you don't mind me saying.
296
00:12:55,120 --> 00:12:56,790
- So, some bread.
- Thank you very much.
297
00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,040
My friend was just saying, what a lovely
thing to say, "already enjoy".
298
00:13:00,320 --> 00:13:02,150
Now you can enjoy completely.
299
00:13:02,240 --> 00:13:03,590
Imagine it on a T-shirt.
300
00:13:03,680 --> 00:13:05,240
- Yes. It would be nice.
- Yes?
301
00:13:05,320 --> 00:13:08,120
He's too old to have T-shirts
with logos on.
302
00:13:08,200 --> 00:13:09,790
You're never too old for this.
303
00:13:09,880 --> 00:13:11,870
No, I think, yeah.
That's a nice thing to say.
304
00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:14,920
Just to be clear,
"No, you're never too old."
305
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,120
- I know.
- Enjoy.
306
00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:18,920
Thank you very much.
Already enjoying, thank you.
307
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,670
She was very…
She was unequivocal there.
308
00:13:20,760 --> 00:13:22,616
- "Not too old".
- Well, what was she gonna say?
309
00:13:22,640 --> 00:13:25,496
- "Yeah, you're right, he's past it."
- Well, she could have agreed with you
310
00:13:25,520 --> 00:13:27,400
if you're as persuasive
as you think you are.
311
00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:28,880
She was being politically adept
312
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:30,256
and that's the best thing
to say about it.
313
00:13:30,280 --> 00:13:31,336
Just to be clear, are you saying that
314
00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,400
you could wear a T-shirt
with a slogan on it?
315
00:13:33,760 --> 00:13:35,990
- Erm… I think…
- You think you're four months…
316
00:13:36,080 --> 00:13:38,200
It's nothing to do with age,
317
00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:39,560
it's to do with how you look,
318
00:13:39,640 --> 00:13:41,470
and the brutal truth is,
319
00:13:41,800 --> 00:13:44,240
yes, I think
I am more likely to get away
320
00:13:44,320 --> 00:13:46,120
with a T-shirt with a logo on it
than you are.
321
00:13:46,320 --> 00:13:48,880
Not by much but just more likely. Yeah.
322
00:13:50,160 --> 00:13:52,550
Anyway, already enjoy.
323
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,400
- Yeah?
- Mmm-hmm.
324
00:14:00,600 --> 00:14:02,350
You know, the Ancient Greeks recognised
325
00:14:02,440 --> 00:14:04,590
that people were a combination
of good and bad.
326
00:14:04,680 --> 00:14:05,960
There's not this, er,
327
00:14:06,040 --> 00:14:08,760
social media idea
of demonising people completely.
328
00:14:08,840 --> 00:14:11,880
They're either persona non grata
or they're heroic,
329
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,640
is nonsense. Their gods, you know,
330
00:14:14,760 --> 00:14:16,800
were complex people.
331
00:14:17,160 --> 00:14:19,990
And it's interesting because this,
this is a good example of it,
332
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:22,150
this review of Stan & Ollie…
333
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:24,750
Review of Stan & Ollie?
334
00:14:24,880 --> 00:14:26,280
Is a good example of what?
335
00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:27,670
Er…
336
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,720
- You're tying this into Greek mythology?
- Yes.
337
00:14:30,320 --> 00:14:32,960
Erm, the review of Stan & Ollie
in The Spectator says,
338
00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:35,760
"It's a good job.
Steve Coogan is a brilliant actor.
339
00:14:36,080 --> 00:14:38,150
"He conveys Stan's likeability so well
340
00:14:38,240 --> 00:14:39,960
"that for 97 minutes you forget
341
00:14:40,040 --> 00:14:43,560
"what a self-regarding arse
Coogan himself is in real life."
342
00:14:44,040 --> 00:14:45,760
Now, my takeaway from that is…
343
00:14:46,480 --> 00:14:47,910
He thinks I'm a brilliant actor.
344
00:14:48,800 --> 00:14:50,096
- That's what you take away from it?
- Yeah.
345
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,790
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- Yeah.
346
00:14:55,680 --> 00:14:57,750
Cruise is amazing
when you think about the…
347
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,600
The stunts he does.
I think he's a little bit older than us.
348
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:01,976
- Is everything fine?
- Delicious.
349
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,150
- Yeah?
- Wonderful.
350
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:05,390
Ah, yes.
351
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,070
Ah, my God, the wine.
352
00:15:08,160 --> 00:15:10,680
The wine, Miss Jones, the wine…
353
00:15:10,760 --> 00:15:13,360
- I call it "vino collapso", I do, yeah.
- Mmm.
354
00:15:13,440 --> 00:15:15,696
Just laugh at him and then
you can walk away, don't worry.
355
00:15:15,720 --> 00:15:17,120
It's nice.
356
00:15:17,200 --> 00:15:18,920
Oh, Mr Rigsby.
357
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,200
- Thank you.
- Thanks.
358
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:23,680
She's… She's thinking,
"What the hell?"
359
00:15:24,720 --> 00:15:26,470
Maybe she's seen Rising Damp.
360
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:36,110
That was a lovely…
It was just… It wasn't too much.
361
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,480
- Did you like it?
- We loved it.
362
00:15:37,560 --> 00:15:39,150
- Wonderful, yeah, lovely.
- Thank you.
363
00:15:39,240 --> 00:15:40,496
- Really just fresh.
- Thank you very much.
364
00:15:40,520 --> 00:15:41,520
Thank you very much.
365
00:15:41,920 --> 00:15:43,400
Do you want to continue?
366
00:15:43,640 --> 00:15:45,310
- I think so.
- I think so, yeah.
367
00:15:45,840 --> 00:15:47,670
Is there… Is there an option not to?
368
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:49,536
- No, we'll continue.
- It's your choice.
369
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:50,960
No, we'll continue, yeah, yeah.
370
00:15:51,040 --> 00:15:52,710
Never been asked that before.
371
00:15:52,800 --> 00:15:54,440
Yeah, well it's a good question.
372
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:56,160
- Yeah.
- At our age.
373
00:15:56,360 --> 00:15:58,190
Thank you.
374
00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,296
That's a German accent, isn't it?
She's got.
375
00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:02,080
- Yes.
- Think she's German? She's not Greek.
376
00:16:02,160 --> 00:16:03,310
"Do you want to continue?"
377
00:16:03,400 --> 00:16:05,200
She could have been
asking us about our lives.
378
00:16:06,160 --> 00:16:07,360
Do you want to continue?
379
00:16:07,440 --> 00:16:09,350
What, she's seen our age and gone,
380
00:16:09,440 --> 00:16:12,350
"Do you want to continue
or would you prefer I administer
381
00:16:12,680 --> 00:16:14,256
- "the drug now?"
- "I administer…" Well, don't…
382
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:15,600
Not all Germans are Nazis.
383
00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,510
I'm not saying she's a Nazi.
I'm saying she's in some lovely clinic
384
00:16:18,600 --> 00:16:21,510
- where we'd go in Switzerland.
- Yeah, I know what you were driving at.
385
00:16:21,600 --> 00:16:22,830
No, it is, but I'm not saying…
386
00:16:22,920 --> 00:16:25,230
I'm not saying
she's the occupying force.
387
00:16:25,320 --> 00:16:27,120
I'm saying she's in a clinic…
388
00:16:27,200 --> 00:16:28,856
… and she's saying,
"Do you want to continue?
389
00:16:28,880 --> 00:16:30,960
- "Or would you like me to…"
- Don't mention the war.
390
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:33,750
I'm not, but seriously.
391
00:16:33,840 --> 00:16:36,480
Yeah, she's love…
I like a foreign accent on a woman.
392
00:16:36,560 --> 00:16:37,600
You like women.
393
00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,880
Mr Bond. You know, it's like you,
"Oh, where's she from?
394
00:16:41,120 --> 00:16:42,350
"Oh, one of ze…"
395
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:44,680
So, we continue with risotto.
396
00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,320
- Thank you.
- One for you.
397
00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:47,800
- Oh, wow.
- Look at that.
398
00:16:47,920 --> 00:16:49,240
Nice and soft for Steve.
399
00:16:49,320 --> 00:16:50,496
- Thank you.
- And one for you.
400
00:16:50,520 --> 00:16:51,720
- There we are.
- Enjoy it.
401
00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:07,240
Oh boy. Look at that, Rob.
402
00:17:09,480 --> 00:17:10,830
Three sirens.
403
00:17:11,280 --> 00:17:13,400
- Yeah? On the rocks.
- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
404
00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,240
Oh! Luring me.
405
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,000
Well, Odysseus
strapped himself to the mast
406
00:17:17,080 --> 00:17:19,310
so he wouldn't be tempted
by that sort of a hussy.
407
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,136
- Mmm, yeah.
- That's what you need, isn't it?
408
00:17:21,160 --> 00:17:22,696
You've needed that in your life,
I think.
409
00:17:22,720 --> 00:17:24,390
Someone to strap you to the mast
410
00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:25,990
to stop you doing mischief.
411
00:17:26,480 --> 00:17:28,310
The other sailors
put bungs in their ears
412
00:17:28,400 --> 00:17:30,470
- so they wouldn't hear the Sirens' song.
- Yeah.
413
00:17:30,560 --> 00:17:34,320
He wanted to hear it, but he didn't want
to be lured. So, he wanted to check…
414
00:17:34,400 --> 00:17:35,680
Check out the Sirens without…
415
00:17:35,760 --> 00:17:37,080
Couldn't be more like you.
416
00:17:37,160 --> 00:17:38,990
- You want… You want to…
- Well…
417
00:17:39,080 --> 00:17:40,136
… experience it up to a point.
418
00:17:40,160 --> 00:17:42,630
But halfway through
he begged them to untie him
419
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,110
so that he could go and consummate
420
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:47,376
- or, er, you know…
- If I had strapped you to the mast,
421
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,600
I would stick with the agreement.
I wouldn't untie you.
422
00:17:49,880 --> 00:17:51,736
And I'd take some pleasure in it.
I'd have a little…
423
00:17:51,760 --> 00:17:53,640
I'd have cotton things
in my ears, right?
424
00:17:54,040 --> 00:17:55,550
You'd be on the mast and you'd go,
425
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:58,080
"Oh, Rob, Rob, I regret my decision,
426
00:17:58,160 --> 00:17:59,800
"please untie me,
the song's fantastic…"
427
00:17:59,880 --> 00:18:01,536
I wouldn't… Why would it be
in a Mancunian accent?
428
00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:02,990
- Hmm?
- Why would I be…
429
00:18:03,080 --> 00:18:04,936
- If I was playing Odysseus?
- You're not playing…
430
00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:06,216
No, I'm not saying
you're playing Odysseus.
431
00:18:06,240 --> 00:18:07,880
I'm saying you are you and I am me.
432
00:18:07,960 --> 00:18:09,680
I'd be going, "Let me go!'
433
00:18:09,760 --> 00:18:11,360
- And I'd say, "I'm sorry."
- "Let me go!
434
00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:14,040
"Untie me. I must swim to the Sirens."
435
00:18:15,120 --> 00:18:16,936
Where else do I know you from?
The Aneidian line.
436
00:18:16,960 --> 00:18:18,840
"Let me swim to the Sirens.
437
00:18:19,360 --> 00:18:20,590
"I demand it!"
438
00:18:20,760 --> 00:18:22,456
You'd have your hands would be
by your side, wouldn't you?
439
00:18:22,480 --> 00:18:24,040
You'd be stuck there, wouldn't you?
440
00:18:24,120 --> 00:18:25,470
Yeah. Okay.
441
00:18:25,560 --> 00:18:27,120
"Let me swim to the Sirens."
442
00:18:27,200 --> 00:18:30,350
- "I'm sorry, Steve, erm, I've got…"
- "I demand it!"
443
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,430
Steve, do you recognise this?
444
00:18:32,520 --> 00:18:34,400
"My name is Odysseus.
445
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,150
"Not Steve.
Who is this Steve you speak of?"
446
00:18:37,240 --> 00:18:39,390
He's a conceited arse
that I know from Manchester.
447
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:40,680
Well, I know not of him.
448
00:18:40,760 --> 00:18:42,456
- But I have heard of his talent.
- You're lucky, my friend.
449
00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:44,710
I believe he's won seven BAFTAs.
450
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:46,310
- Seven BAFTAs?
- Yes.
451
00:18:46,400 --> 00:18:48,200
What is a BAFTA that you speak of?
452
00:18:53,280 --> 00:18:54,710
Service!
453
00:18:58,400 --> 00:18:59,680
Spartan women
454
00:19:00,360 --> 00:19:02,960
had a reputation for being
the most beautiful women in the world.
455
00:19:03,120 --> 00:19:05,430
Yet the men were gay. Go figure.
456
00:19:06,600 --> 00:19:08,190
That's beautiful. Oh…
457
00:19:09,640 --> 00:19:11,760
Oh, good God!
She's bending over!
458
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,176
"Oh, good God! She's bending over!"
459
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:14,376
Well, I thought
you were gazing at her…
460
00:19:14,400 --> 00:19:15,696
"Well, I thought
you were gazing at her face."
461
00:19:15,720 --> 00:19:17,056
I thought you were gazing
at a beautiful woman.
462
00:19:17,080 --> 00:19:18,576
"I thought you were gazing
at a beautiful woman."
463
00:19:18,600 --> 00:19:19,920
When I look, she's bending over.
464
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,856
- She's still a beautiful woman.
- You were like that.
465
00:19:21,880 --> 00:19:23,550
"Oh, that is beautiful."
466
00:19:23,640 --> 00:19:26,310
I assumed it was a lovely, beautiful…
467
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,416
I turn round,
she's going to pick up her bloody towel!
468
00:19:28,440 --> 00:19:30,750
Because, Rob, in your world,
beauty is just a…
469
00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:33,750
Beauty is, er…
Is something that's been desexualised.
470
00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,640
I imagine you find a Barbie doll
or an action man attractive
471
00:19:36,720 --> 00:19:38,416
'cause they've got no genitals
'cause that would upset you
472
00:19:38,440 --> 00:19:40,190
'cause that's a bit…
Ooh, that's a bit…
473
00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:43,910
"Oh, a bit shocking, having a cock
and a vagina. That's a bit shocking!
474
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,560
"I thought everything
was just smooth down there!"
475
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:47,920
That's real life, Rob.
476
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,640
Bottoms are part of real life.
477
00:19:49,720 --> 00:19:52,520
So are breasts. So are cocks.
So are vaginas.
478
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:54,856
It's all part of real life.
It didn't bother the Ancient Greeks.
479
00:19:54,880 --> 00:19:57,680
They… They competed.
They did the Olympics completely naked.
480
00:19:57,760 --> 00:20:00,320
They didn't go,
"Oh, he's got his penis out!
481
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:01,830
"Oh, how shocking! I was expecting…
482
00:20:01,920 --> 00:20:05,440
"I was just expecting a nice face
with a T-shirt with a number on."
483
00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:10,880
- Hello.
- Hi.
484
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,960
So I have some fish for you.
485
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,150
- Thank you.
- And one for you.
486
00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,960
- It's grouper.
- Thank you.
487
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:19,720
Enjoy it.
488
00:20:19,800 --> 00:20:21,200
- Thank you very much.
- Thank you.
489
00:20:23,880 --> 00:20:26,320
That's lovely, that's lovely.
490
00:20:26,520 --> 00:20:28,990
Make sure you mop up
a lot of that sauce.
491
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,240
After lunch we'll go and see the caves.
492
00:20:31,960 --> 00:20:33,950
- Why?
- It's The Observer's idea.
493
00:20:34,040 --> 00:20:35,870
The Greeks, as I'm sure you know,
494
00:20:36,720 --> 00:20:38,680
- believed that in this area…
- Yeah, yeah.
495
00:20:38,760 --> 00:20:41,150
… caves were entrances
to the underworld
496
00:20:41,240 --> 00:20:43,120
and they thought we could tie that in…
497
00:20:43,200 --> 00:20:44,920
… and also I could mention you
498
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,040
as Hades,
499
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:49,400
flog a few, erm, Percy Jackson DVDs.
500
00:20:49,880 --> 00:20:52,296
Epicurus didn't believe in any of that
life after death nonsense.
501
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,800
Aha, and it's your starter for 10,
502
00:20:53,880 --> 00:20:55,456
who is Steve Coogan's
favourite philosopher?
503
00:20:55,480 --> 00:20:57,440
"Is it Epicurus?"
"Yes, you're right."
504
00:20:57,520 --> 00:20:58,640
Sorry, back to you. My bad.
505
00:20:58,720 --> 00:21:01,240
Epicurus, er, believed that
506
00:21:01,320 --> 00:21:04,520
the most important thing
to a happy life
507
00:21:05,600 --> 00:21:07,080
was to have no fear of God
508
00:21:07,160 --> 00:21:08,800
and have no fear of death.
509
00:21:10,160 --> 00:21:11,880
- Is everything fine?
- Hmm, wonderful.
510
00:21:11,960 --> 00:21:13,600
- Lovely. Yeah.
- Gorgeous.
511
00:21:15,040 --> 00:21:17,190
- Beautiful bay.
- It's very nice.
512
00:21:17,280 --> 00:21:19,110
We have tomorrow a swim race.
513
00:21:19,320 --> 00:21:20,720
It's called Ocean Man.
514
00:21:21,040 --> 00:21:23,480
They start from the pier right there.
515
00:21:24,120 --> 00:21:25,440
- Can you see it?
- Yeah.
516
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:28,430
They will start there
and swim to this direction
517
00:21:28,520 --> 00:21:31,400
to new Itilo, to the beach Tsipa.
518
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:32,960
It's international.
519
00:21:33,280 --> 00:21:35,270
People all around the world
are coming here.
520
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:36,870
Maybe you will see it.
521
00:21:36,960 --> 00:21:39,576
I would love to… I would love to stay
for that, that sounds amazing.
522
00:21:39,600 --> 00:21:42,640
We cannot stay, we have to leave,
but, er, it sounds lovely.
523
00:21:42,720 --> 00:21:45,550
I'd like to join the race.
I'd like to join in, I think.
524
00:21:45,840 --> 00:21:47,670
- Maybe you can do.
- Yeah, I think so.
525
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:50,280
- No?
- I don't think so.
526
00:21:50,520 --> 00:21:52,560
- Maybe.
- He's joking with you.
527
00:21:52,640 --> 00:21:54,230
- He's joking with you.
- I'm not jok…
528
00:21:54,320 --> 00:21:55,910
I'm in pretty good shape for my age.
529
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,040
We will see.
530
00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:59,160
We will see. We will see.
531
00:21:59,640 --> 00:22:00,790
Thank you.
532
00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:03,320
Pity. I'd like to do that.
533
00:22:03,960 --> 00:22:05,710
I'd like to join in the race,
join in the…
534
00:22:06,280 --> 00:22:07,840
Not competitively just but, er…
535
00:22:07,920 --> 00:22:09,320
That's a long way, look at it.
536
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:10,990
I have got very good stamina.
537
00:22:11,080 --> 00:22:13,070
Neither you nor I could do that.
538
00:22:13,600 --> 00:22:15,960
I could certainly…
I could beat you in a race, I reckon.
539
00:22:18,040 --> 00:22:21,160
Well. I don't think you could
and we don't have time,
540
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:22,480
so, it's academic.
541
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:23,760
Oh, that's convenient.
542
00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:27,190
Okay, go to the caves
and then we have a race.
543
00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:28,430
Great. Brilliant.
544
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:29,640
- You sure?
- Yeah.
545
00:22:51,280 --> 00:22:54,240
The Swingle Singers
live at Cheddar Gorge
546
00:22:54,320 --> 00:22:55,750
this bank holiday Monday.
547
00:23:10,040 --> 00:23:14,110
This is more really suited
to a sort of Gregorian chant,
548
00:23:14,200 --> 00:23:16,190
it being like a sort of
cathedral of sound.
549
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:17,870
- I love Greg.
- Ah…
550
00:23:17,960 --> 00:23:19,360
- What?
- I love Greg.
551
00:23:19,440 --> 00:23:20,480
- Greg who?
- Gregorian.
552
00:23:20,560 --> 00:23:22,760
Oh, Gregorian chant, yeah. Very good.
553
00:23:22,840 --> 00:23:24,720
Well, I don't mind
whether Greg or Ian chant.
554
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,160
I mean they're both good.
555
00:23:27,240 --> 00:23:28,390
Would you rather, Ian?
556
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,390
"Ian, you sit this one out.
Greg's gonna do it."
557
00:23:55,480 --> 00:23:56,800
It must get flooded.
558
00:23:57,120 --> 00:23:58,790
It looks like they control that.
559
00:23:58,880 --> 00:24:00,230
Not very tidal though, is it?
560
00:24:00,400 --> 00:24:02,280
No, but I mean
sometimes the, you know,
561
00:24:02,920 --> 00:24:04,120
weather's bad.
562
00:24:04,480 --> 00:24:05,680
I was in, er…
563
00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:08,920
I once swam underwater along a tunnel…
564
00:24:09,000 --> 00:24:11,390
- You've told me this one.
- … in Ustica,
565
00:24:11,480 --> 00:24:13,630
which is off the coast of Sicily,
volcanic island.
566
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:15,200
- You've told me this.
- And, er…
567
00:24:15,600 --> 00:24:20,200
I was in…
I was in a rock pool off the coast
568
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:21,336
and then when you swam down,
569
00:24:21,360 --> 00:24:23,200
you could swim along a tunnel
out into the sea.
570
00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:25,400
- You told me.
- And I… I did it, and it's, er…
571
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:26,710
You told me.
572
00:24:27,920 --> 00:24:29,960
I quite like doing this
for the newspapers.
573
00:24:30,040 --> 00:24:33,190
I feel like I'm a journalist,
a sort of intrepid reporter.
574
00:24:33,280 --> 00:24:36,350
Out in the field who wants
to get it first-hand. Not from Reuters.
575
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:38,230
Dustin Hoffman and Robert Redford.
576
00:24:38,320 --> 00:24:40,630
Yeah, we are. Yeah, like…
Like Woodward and Bernstein.
577
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:42,600
I'd be Hoffman, obviously.
578
00:24:42,680 --> 00:24:44,776
- Yeah, I'd be… I'd be Redford, yeah.
- You'd be Redford.
579
00:24:44,800 --> 00:24:47,920
I'd be the respected character actor,
you'd be the pin-up.
580
00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,590
I mean, at least it's feasible.
581
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:52,430
- Huh? Oh, I'm an excellent reporter.
- I'm an excellent…
582
00:24:52,520 --> 00:24:54,160
Excuse me, this…
583
00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:57,280
This is Carl Bernstein. I'm phoning
on behalf of The Washington Post.
584
00:24:57,360 --> 00:24:58,856
I thought you said
you were gonna be Robert Redford.
585
00:24:58,880 --> 00:25:00,936
Well, I just thought I'd try
Dustin Hoffman for size, and it's…
586
00:25:00,960 --> 00:25:03,880
You're not being offered that role.
You're being offered the Redford role.
587
00:25:03,920 --> 00:25:06,520
Er, are you trying to seduce me,
Mr Nixon?
588
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:10,070
Interesting, Bernstein also,
589
00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:11,880
the subject of another film
about his life,
590
00:25:11,960 --> 00:25:13,950
- played by who?
- All right, give me a minute.
591
00:25:14,160 --> 00:25:16,520
- Was it Jack Nicholson?
- Yes.
592
00:25:17,120 --> 00:25:19,560
- And was the film Heartburn?
- Yes.
593
00:25:19,840 --> 00:25:21,990
- And did Nora Ephron write it?
- Yes.
594
00:25:22,480 --> 00:25:26,320
And did she once audition me by Skype
for a part in a film?
595
00:25:26,840 --> 00:25:28,190
- No.
- She did.
596
00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:29,800
Did I get the part?
597
00:25:29,880 --> 00:25:31,110
- No.
- That's correct.
598
00:25:35,560 --> 00:25:37,310
You girls, why don't you shout…
599
00:25:37,400 --> 00:25:40,390
Why don't you say, "Go." Yeah?
Say, "Three, two, one, go."
600
00:25:40,960 --> 00:25:42,080
Yeah, sure.
601
00:25:42,160 --> 00:25:43,590
Are you ready? Don't push me.
602
00:25:43,960 --> 00:25:46,560
Ready? Steady? Go!
603
00:26:43,360 --> 00:26:44,790
All right, okay, you win.
604
00:26:45,200 --> 00:26:48,320
- I've… It's my shoulder.
- Come on, yes!
605
00:26:48,840 --> 00:26:49,840
Yes!
606
00:26:57,200 --> 00:26:58,350
Rob?
607
00:27:01,160 --> 00:27:03,550
- What are you wearing?
- We look like two twins.
608
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:06,710
Two posh… A posh family's twins
with a weird ageing condition.
609
00:27:07,200 --> 00:27:08,270
It doesn't matter.
610
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:10,600
- It doesn't matter, does it? No.
- No.
611
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:14,760
Different sunglasses on.
612
00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:16,910
This is my… Yeah, the non-polarised.
613
00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,990
They're, er, my sunset sunglasses.
614
00:27:19,280 --> 00:27:21,480
- You're like a '60s playboy.
- Thank you.
615
00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,310
- 1960s.
- Yes, 1960s, thank you.
616
00:27:23,400 --> 00:27:25,280
Peter Sellars,
you've got a Sellars thing.
617
00:27:25,440 --> 00:27:26,560
He was 53 when he died.
618
00:27:26,640 --> 00:27:28,200
Oh, well, you've nearly beaten him.
619
00:27:28,320 --> 00:27:29,880
- Here's to me, yeah?
- Oh, yes, cheers.
620
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:32,240
- Fair competition, yeah?
- Congratulations.
621
00:27:32,560 --> 00:27:34,120
- Shoulder's better.
- Uh-uh.
622
00:27:34,640 --> 00:27:36,680
It's not actually.
It's, er, still aching a bit.