1 00:00:01,866 --> 00:00:03,620 - Can she stop that now? - If you can get it anywhere cheaper, 2 00:00:03,620 --> 00:00:05,126 I'll come round and cook it myself. 3 00:00:05,226 --> 00:00:06,366 - Red hot deals. 4 00:00:06,466 --> 00:00:09,086 - We've got offers on everything from booze to biscuits. 5 00:00:09,186 --> 00:00:10,286 - Loads of two-for-ones. 6 00:00:10,386 --> 00:00:12,406 - Service with a smile. 7 00:00:12,506 --> 00:00:14,287 - We have fresh produce-- - Delivered daily. 8 00:00:14,387 --> 00:00:16,387 - Don't forget the Valco tick. - Am I getting paid for this? 9 00:00:16,387 --> 00:00:17,120 - Valco. 10 00:00:17,220 --> 00:00:18,261 - Oh, I wasn't ready. - Oh, weren't you ready? 11 00:00:18,261 --> 00:00:18,994 (laughing) 12 00:00:19,094 --> 00:00:20,887 - Valco serves you right. 13 00:00:20,987 --> 00:00:23,570 - [All] Valco serves you right. 14 00:00:27,379 --> 00:00:29,027 - [Linda] Which is why 20p from every bunch 15 00:00:29,027 --> 00:00:31,127 goes straight to our banana farmers. 16 00:00:31,227 --> 00:00:34,477 Valco, putting the fair into Fairtrade. 17 00:00:36,221 --> 00:00:38,738 - [Sue] Just to remind all our customers, there's a fabulous offer 18 00:00:38,738 --> 00:00:40,885 on our Valco own-brand pork sausages, 19 00:00:40,985 --> 00:00:42,805 two packets for the price of one. 20 00:00:42,905 --> 00:00:44,822 Sizzlingly sensational. 21 00:00:49,025 --> 00:00:50,205 - And your olives. 22 00:00:50,305 --> 00:00:51,685 Lord knows why you want them, 23 00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:53,965 like salty grapes they are. 24 00:00:54,065 --> 00:00:55,640 - [Woman] Thank you. 25 00:00:55,740 --> 00:00:56,473 - Ooh. 26 00:00:56,573 --> 00:00:59,040 - Thank you for shopping at Valco. 27 00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:01,284 - Oh Andy, I nearly jumped out of me bones. 28 00:01:01,384 --> 00:01:03,604 (laughing) 29 00:01:03,704 --> 00:01:06,444 Oh, I'll never get used to all this fame. 30 00:01:06,544 --> 00:01:10,124 Me picture all over the store, people staring, 31 00:01:10,224 --> 00:01:11,924 I feel like that William. 32 00:01:12,024 --> 00:01:14,764 - Prince William? - No, that singer, Andy, 33 00:01:14,864 --> 00:01:17,889 he were on that show about singers. 34 00:01:17,989 --> 00:01:20,804 - Hang on, are you talking about Will.i.am? 35 00:01:20,904 --> 00:01:22,004 - Is that how you say it? 36 00:01:22,104 --> 00:01:22,837 - Yeah. 37 00:01:22,937 --> 00:01:25,724 - Why doesn't he just call himself I'm William? 38 00:01:25,824 --> 00:01:27,524 - It's like a nickname. 39 00:01:27,624 --> 00:01:29,804 He's just showing off if you ask me. 40 00:01:29,904 --> 00:01:33,524 - Hey, why don't I have a nickname? 41 00:01:33,624 --> 00:01:36,203 Erm, ooh, I've got it, I've got it, 42 00:01:36,303 --> 00:01:37,136 Marg A-- 43 00:01:39,263 --> 00:01:39,996 - Ret? 44 00:01:40,096 --> 00:01:43,179 - Ret, yeah. (laughs) 45 00:01:48,663 --> 00:01:50,843 - That's the view from the pool. - Yeah, great. 46 00:01:50,943 --> 00:01:51,683 - That's the sea. 47 00:01:51,783 --> 00:01:52,963 - Right. 48 00:01:53,063 --> 00:01:55,403 - That's the sea again. 49 00:01:55,503 --> 00:01:57,156 That's a boat in the sea. - Oh, for god's sake, 50 00:01:57,256 --> 00:01:59,004 didn't you take any interesting photos? 51 00:01:59,104 --> 00:02:01,521 Sea, sea, beach, burger, sea, 52 00:02:04,094 --> 00:02:05,810 ooh, hello. (giggling) 53 00:02:05,910 --> 00:02:06,762 - Give it back. 54 00:02:06,862 --> 00:02:07,802 - Mucky bitch. 55 00:02:07,902 --> 00:02:09,922 - Everyone goes topless over there. 56 00:02:10,022 --> 00:02:11,322 - Nice baps by the way. 57 00:02:11,422 --> 00:02:12,882 - Aw, do you think? 58 00:02:12,982 --> 00:02:14,322 Thanks mate. - Let's have a feel. 59 00:02:14,422 --> 00:02:15,362 - Oh, stop it. 60 00:02:15,462 --> 00:02:17,712 (laughing) 61 00:02:25,582 --> 00:02:26,402 - Perfect. 62 00:02:26,502 --> 00:02:28,482 - Leighton, I need you to... 63 00:02:28,582 --> 00:02:31,282 Have you only done the bottom shelf? - I was thinking. 64 00:02:31,382 --> 00:02:32,202 - Again? 65 00:02:32,302 --> 00:02:33,482 - Yeah, and I thought, 66 00:02:33,582 --> 00:02:35,582 traditionally, when people would sit on the toilet, 67 00:02:35,582 --> 00:02:38,662 the toilet roll's usually quite low down so maybe we should sell it low down. 68 00:02:38,662 --> 00:02:41,282 I mean, I did come to the idea through thinking. 69 00:02:41,382 --> 00:02:42,522 - Hang on a minute. 70 00:02:42,622 --> 00:02:44,316 Have you changed the whole aisle? 71 00:02:44,416 --> 00:02:46,082 - Yeah, I came in at six. 72 00:02:46,182 --> 00:02:48,642 So, at hand height, we have soap, 73 00:02:48,742 --> 00:02:50,162 rubber gloves and nail polish. 74 00:02:50,262 --> 00:02:51,002 - Oh god. 75 00:02:51,102 --> 00:02:53,882 - At head height, we have shampoo, toothpaste and razors, 76 00:02:53,982 --> 00:02:57,682 although we've got some of those down at leg height as well, depending on 77 00:02:57,782 --> 00:02:59,442 what you want to shave. 78 00:02:59,542 --> 00:03:01,556 - I really don't know what to say. 79 00:03:01,656 --> 00:03:03,302 - Well, if you want, I mean, I could tell head office 80 00:03:03,302 --> 00:03:06,162 that we came up with the idea together. 81 00:03:06,262 --> 00:03:07,922 - Leighton, I seriously think 82 00:03:08,022 --> 00:03:10,722 that you should put everything back how it was before. 83 00:03:10,822 --> 00:03:11,682 - Can do. 84 00:03:11,782 --> 00:03:14,162 - Oh, and did you finish Gavin's leaving DVD? 85 00:03:14,262 --> 00:03:16,002 - Can did, yeah. 86 00:03:16,102 --> 00:03:19,202 Managed to get all the staff in there, apart from Gavin, I couldn't find him. 87 00:03:19,302 --> 00:03:21,162 - But my message is definitely on there. 88 00:03:21,262 --> 00:03:23,642 - Oh yeah, yeah, I loved your poem actually. 89 00:03:23,742 --> 00:03:25,082 - Aw. - I never knew so many 90 00:03:25,182 --> 00:03:28,452 words rhymed with Gavin, I couldn't think of any. 91 00:03:28,552 --> 00:03:29,802 Tavern, cavern. 92 00:03:30,702 --> 00:03:31,802 - Well, just make sure that 93 00:03:31,902 --> 00:03:33,402 everything's ready for 12 o'clock 94 00:03:33,502 --> 00:03:35,402 and try and brighten the canteen up a bit, 95 00:03:35,502 --> 00:03:39,082 you know, get some balloons or something. Gavin loves balloons. 96 00:03:39,182 --> 00:03:40,802 - Oh, I've got one. 97 00:03:40,902 --> 00:03:44,402 Gavin, no sorry, no, it's the same, sorry. 98 00:03:46,542 --> 00:03:47,449 - Heyo. 99 00:03:47,549 --> 00:03:48,799 - Oh-ho-ho, ah. 100 00:03:49,982 --> 00:03:52,002 Ladies and gentlemen, I give you 101 00:03:52,102 --> 00:03:54,002 mister and missus Kieran. 102 00:03:54,102 --> 00:03:58,762 Ah, it's great to see my faithful servant back at my side. 103 00:03:58,862 --> 00:03:59,762 I missed you buddy. 104 00:03:59,862 --> 00:04:01,982 So come on, how was your honeymoon? - Yeah, it were nice. 105 00:04:01,982 --> 00:04:03,737 - Dubai was incredible 106 00:04:03,837 --> 00:04:07,120 and I got to spend two weeks with my lovely new husband. 107 00:04:07,220 --> 00:04:08,783 - Yeah, though one week would've been enough. 108 00:04:08,783 --> 00:04:10,843 - I still say you should've gone to Orlando. 109 00:04:10,943 --> 00:04:13,083 Disney World, Free Willy in a tank, 110 00:04:13,183 --> 00:04:14,683 you can get a day pass for the lot. 111 00:04:14,783 --> 00:04:17,123 - Maybe next time, mate. - Erm, next time? 112 00:04:17,223 --> 00:04:19,323 - Second honeymoon I mean. 113 00:04:19,423 --> 00:04:21,117 - Right, I'm off, don't be late. 114 00:04:21,217 --> 00:04:24,163 - Oh, what's happening later? A romantic meal for the newlyweds? 115 00:04:24,263 --> 00:04:27,492 - No, Homebase, there's a massive discount on lamps. 116 00:04:27,592 --> 00:04:29,865 - Does it have to be tonight? I said I'd catch up with me mates. 117 00:04:29,865 --> 00:04:32,845 - Yes, it does have to be tonight. 118 00:04:32,945 --> 00:04:33,862 Bye, hubby. 119 00:04:34,785 --> 00:04:35,618 - See you. 120 00:04:36,745 --> 00:04:37,925 - Well, that didn't take long. 121 00:04:38,025 --> 00:04:41,605 - What didn't take long? - You getting cosy under Emma's big thumb. 122 00:04:41,705 --> 00:04:42,538 Lamps. 123 00:04:50,595 --> 00:04:53,163 (Lisa sighs) 124 00:04:53,263 --> 00:04:55,303 - Do you want something? - Nothing you're offering. 125 00:04:55,303 --> 00:04:57,023 - Could have fooled me, you're like a seagull 126 00:04:57,023 --> 00:04:58,778 hanging around a trawler. 127 00:04:58,878 --> 00:05:00,524 - Really? Must be the smell. 128 00:05:00,624 --> 00:05:03,374 - Oh, actually, I think I've got. 129 00:05:06,304 --> 00:05:07,154 - [Colin] Ay. 130 00:05:07,254 --> 00:05:08,237 - Yeah. - Well done. 131 00:05:08,337 --> 00:05:09,243 - Yeah? - Yeah, funny. 132 00:05:09,343 --> 00:05:10,176 - Yeah? 133 00:05:15,143 --> 00:05:17,363 - Them bakers do my head in. 134 00:05:17,463 --> 00:05:20,443 - Why don't you like them, Andy? - Look at them with all their bread, 135 00:05:20,543 --> 00:05:22,223 they think they're on the same level as us. 136 00:05:22,223 --> 00:05:24,083 - Don't they have to train for seven years? 137 00:05:24,183 --> 00:05:26,043 - That's doctors, Margaret. 138 00:05:26,143 --> 00:05:28,043 They shouldn't even have their own counter. 139 00:05:28,143 --> 00:05:29,723 I mean, fishmongers, fair enough; 140 00:05:29,823 --> 00:05:33,323 deli counter, alright, I'll let it go 'cause it's you; 141 00:05:33,423 --> 00:05:35,177 and the army, they could have their own counter 142 00:05:35,177 --> 00:05:36,997 if they worked in supermarkets. 143 00:05:37,097 --> 00:05:39,283 - I took one of their bread rolls home for Alan. 144 00:05:39,383 --> 00:05:40,803 He wolfed it down. 145 00:05:40,903 --> 00:05:42,303 - There never used to be a bakery, 146 00:05:42,303 --> 00:05:44,683 just used to have a shelf that said, white bread. 147 00:05:44,783 --> 00:05:47,763 These days there's pitta, focaccia, baguettes, 148 00:05:47,863 --> 00:05:50,363 you have to speak five languages just to ask for the stuff. 149 00:05:50,463 --> 00:05:51,363 - Not this again. 150 00:05:51,463 --> 00:05:53,203 - And don't get me started on falafels. 151 00:05:53,303 --> 00:05:54,997 - How many times? Falafels not a bread. 152 00:05:55,097 --> 00:05:57,123 - Oh, typical, they've even got you fooled. 153 00:05:57,223 --> 00:05:58,717 Anyway, I hate them bakers. 154 00:05:58,817 --> 00:06:01,363 Oh, look out, here she comes, the poisoned dwarf. 155 00:06:01,463 --> 00:06:02,803 - Morning, big chops. 156 00:06:02,903 --> 00:06:05,363 - Did I hear a noise? 157 00:06:05,463 --> 00:06:07,083 Oh, sorry, I didn't see you there Sharon. 158 00:06:07,183 --> 00:06:09,683 Margaret, can you get a chair for Sharon to stand on? 159 00:06:09,783 --> 00:06:11,283 - He's joking, Margaret. 160 00:06:11,383 --> 00:06:13,633 - Oh, oh yeah, chair, yeah. 161 00:06:14,703 --> 00:06:17,043 - You lot are quiet, we haven't stopped all morning. 162 00:06:17,143 --> 00:06:18,923 - It's a marathon, not a sprint. 163 00:06:19,023 --> 00:06:21,843 Let's see how cocky you are during the three o'clock meat rush. 164 00:06:21,943 --> 00:06:23,443 - Anyway, I just wanted to fill you in 165 00:06:23,543 --> 00:06:25,723 on summat I heard on the grapevine. 166 00:06:25,823 --> 00:06:27,484 - I am the grapevine. 167 00:06:27,584 --> 00:06:29,225 - Oh so I guess you know about the new boss then? 168 00:06:29,225 --> 00:06:30,565 - Of course I do, what about him? 169 00:06:30,665 --> 00:06:32,565 - Well, he is a she for starters 170 00:06:32,665 --> 00:06:34,582 and she's from Iceland. 171 00:06:37,538 --> 00:06:38,271 - So? 172 00:06:38,371 --> 00:06:42,155 - So, they don't have butchers at Iceland, do they? 173 00:06:42,255 --> 00:06:44,922 They don't have butchers at all. 174 00:06:48,226 --> 00:06:49,906 - Margaret, could you get me that chair please? 175 00:06:49,906 --> 00:06:51,326 I think I need to sit down. 176 00:06:51,426 --> 00:06:53,126 - Chair. (laughs) 177 00:06:53,226 --> 00:06:54,059 You. 178 00:06:55,506 --> 00:06:57,673 - Think you'll be alright? 179 00:07:03,473 --> 00:07:05,606 - Now, I must be away by three o'clock, 180 00:07:05,706 --> 00:07:07,626 otherwise head office is gonna have my guts 181 00:07:07,626 --> 00:07:09,326 turned into piles of garters. 182 00:07:09,426 --> 00:07:12,406 - Of course, but you're not to be late for lunch either. 183 00:07:12,506 --> 00:07:15,126 12 on the dot, it's very important. 184 00:07:15,226 --> 00:07:17,461 - I agree, most important meal of the day, 185 00:07:17,561 --> 00:07:18,687 after breakfast. 186 00:07:18,787 --> 00:07:23,016 In fact, I think I'm in the mood for a jacket potato. 187 00:07:23,116 --> 00:07:25,167 And delete, there. 188 00:07:25,267 --> 00:07:28,607 Gavin Strong has been erased from the matrix. 189 00:07:28,707 --> 00:07:31,847 - Gavin it's like you're painting yourself out of the picture. 190 00:07:31,947 --> 00:07:33,387 - Well, it's only an email address, Julie, 191 00:07:33,387 --> 00:07:35,347 you know, you can't get attached to these things. 192 00:07:35,347 --> 00:07:37,447 Mind you, I'm gonna miss this keyboard though, 193 00:07:37,547 --> 00:07:41,487 the extended number pad has been a lifesaver. 194 00:07:41,587 --> 00:07:44,587 - Oh, look, is this a present I see? 195 00:07:45,627 --> 00:07:47,210 Yes, I think it is. 196 00:07:48,107 --> 00:07:49,800 - Oh, how thoughtful. 197 00:07:49,900 --> 00:07:51,900 It's like Christmas day. 198 00:07:53,187 --> 00:07:55,937 Oh, the world, what a snazzy tie. 199 00:07:58,107 --> 00:08:00,527 Do you know what, I think I might just make this 200 00:08:00,627 --> 00:08:01,967 my Saturday tie. 201 00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:03,395 (Julie squeals and giggles) 202 00:08:03,495 --> 00:08:06,626 - Tell you what, it's a damn sight better than the present I got from the bakers. 203 00:08:06,626 --> 00:08:10,793 I mean, who ever heard of a three-legged gingerbread man? 204 00:08:12,227 --> 00:08:14,367 Leaping frogs, look at the time. 205 00:08:14,467 --> 00:08:15,987 Lorraine's gonna be here any minute. 206 00:08:15,987 --> 00:08:18,400 - Oh, you do think she'll like me, don't you? 207 00:08:18,500 --> 00:08:20,447 - Probably be the best manager you've ever had. 208 00:08:20,547 --> 00:08:21,847 - Impossible. 209 00:08:21,947 --> 00:08:24,864 He's standing proud in front of me. 210 00:08:25,855 --> 00:08:28,438 - Bring on the jacket potatoes. 211 00:08:30,267 --> 00:08:31,560 - How do I look? 212 00:08:31,660 --> 00:08:32,567 How's my hair? 213 00:08:32,667 --> 00:08:35,567 Does it say professional stroke dependable? 214 00:08:35,667 --> 00:08:37,847 - You look like a gold nugget, Julie. 215 00:08:37,947 --> 00:08:40,614 (Julie squeals) 216 00:08:45,507 --> 00:08:48,040 Ah, Lorraine, here already, 217 00:08:48,140 --> 00:08:50,520 we weren't expecting you for another four minutes. 218 00:08:50,620 --> 00:08:52,087 - I was born two weeks late, Gavin, 219 00:08:52,187 --> 00:08:54,287 never been late for anything since. 220 00:08:54,387 --> 00:08:58,554 - Oh, hello, I'm Julie Cooke, deputy manager at Valco. 221 00:09:01,922 --> 00:09:04,487 - Bit European, ain't it? 222 00:09:04,587 --> 00:09:05,687 - Marvellous. 223 00:09:05,787 --> 00:09:09,207 How about I take you to my, well, it's your office. 224 00:09:09,307 --> 00:09:11,207 - I can push pens when you're gone, Gavin, 225 00:09:11,307 --> 00:09:12,887 let's have a tour of the shop floor, 226 00:09:12,987 --> 00:09:15,237 see how this bastard works. 227 00:09:30,387 --> 00:09:32,927 - Ah, Leighton, just the person. 228 00:09:33,027 --> 00:09:34,727 Lorraine, I'd like you to meet Leighton. 229 00:09:34,827 --> 00:09:37,607 Leighton, this is your new manager. 230 00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:39,447 - It's a real pleasure to meet you, sir, 231 00:09:39,547 --> 00:09:41,087 uh, madam, sorry. 232 00:09:41,187 --> 00:09:42,367 - It's alright love. 233 00:09:42,467 --> 00:09:43,607 (Leighton whimpers) 234 00:09:43,707 --> 00:09:46,727 - Special occasion there, Leighton? - Yeah. 235 00:09:46,827 --> 00:09:48,807 No, no, I just really like balloons. 236 00:09:48,907 --> 00:09:52,341 Not all balloons though, I don't like the squeaky ones that 237 00:09:52,441 --> 00:09:54,246 you twist into animal shapes much 238 00:09:54,346 --> 00:09:57,200 but this is (stammering). 239 00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:58,133 Bye. 240 00:10:01,346 --> 00:10:02,606 - Nice kid. 241 00:10:02,706 --> 00:10:05,680 We used to have a few special needs like him at Iceland. 242 00:10:05,780 --> 00:10:07,446 Inspirational they were. 243 00:10:07,546 --> 00:10:09,526 - Oh, no, no, Leighton's not learning disabled, 244 00:10:09,626 --> 00:10:10,880 no, he's just enthusiastic. 245 00:10:10,980 --> 00:10:12,746 In fact, he's a key member of what I like to call 246 00:10:12,746 --> 00:10:14,163 the Valco family. 247 00:10:15,176 --> 00:10:16,886 - Which one are you then? 248 00:10:16,986 --> 00:10:17,986 Dirty uncle? 249 00:10:23,346 --> 00:10:25,166 - All you do is walk about skiving. 250 00:10:25,266 --> 00:10:27,686 - Yeah, at least I don't sit on me fat arse all day. 251 00:10:27,786 --> 00:10:29,326 - Uh, don't have a go at my arse. 252 00:10:29,426 --> 00:10:31,966 - You know, I'm probably the only bloke in Warrington 253 00:10:32,066 --> 00:10:33,766 who's not had a go at your arse. 254 00:10:33,866 --> 00:10:34,926 - You're disgusting. 255 00:10:35,026 --> 00:10:37,246 - Alright, don't get your knickers in a twist. 256 00:10:37,346 --> 00:10:39,929 - I'm not wearing any knickers. 257 00:10:45,956 --> 00:10:48,456 (Colin moans) 258 00:10:52,826 --> 00:10:55,566 - Just 'cause she worked in frozen food don't mean anything. 259 00:10:55,666 --> 00:10:56,646 - You reckon? 260 00:10:56,746 --> 00:10:58,319 No, whoever this bint is, 261 00:10:58,419 --> 00:11:00,286 she's gonna be well out of her depth here. 262 00:11:00,386 --> 00:11:02,646 I'll give her a week. 263 00:11:02,746 --> 00:11:05,329 - I'll bear that in mind, Andy. 264 00:11:06,306 --> 00:11:08,126 - I knew you were there, just a, 265 00:11:08,226 --> 00:11:10,726 you know, bit of banter, ribbing the new boss. 266 00:11:10,826 --> 00:11:13,246 - And what's you're name, gorgeous? 267 00:11:13,346 --> 00:11:14,179 - Kieran. 268 00:11:15,146 --> 00:11:17,066 - Why are you hiding this one on the meat counter, Gavin? 269 00:11:17,066 --> 00:11:18,186 Stick him at the front doors, 270 00:11:18,186 --> 00:11:20,526 you'd have a queue of women waiting to get in. 271 00:11:20,626 --> 00:11:21,626 Me included. 272 00:11:22,586 --> 00:11:26,126 I'll be keeping a good eye on you, Kieran, 273 00:11:26,226 --> 00:11:28,126 every bit of you. 274 00:11:28,226 --> 00:11:30,086 - Oh god, it's nearly lunch. 275 00:11:30,186 --> 00:11:33,766 Gavin, why don't you show Lorraine the fish counter 276 00:11:33,866 --> 00:11:36,646 and I'll meet you in the canteen in exactly four minutes. 277 00:11:36,746 --> 00:11:39,176 - That is a superb idea. 278 00:11:39,276 --> 00:11:40,966 Lorraine, I think you'll be impressed. 279 00:11:41,066 --> 00:11:42,926 Honestly, some of our shrimp are so big, 280 00:11:43,026 --> 00:11:44,966 you'll think they're prawns. 281 00:11:45,066 --> 00:11:48,149 Eh, oh, or is it the other way round? 282 00:11:51,066 --> 00:11:53,086 - For somebody from Iceland, 283 00:11:53,186 --> 00:11:55,603 she speaks very good English. 284 00:12:01,866 --> 00:12:05,366 - Could you slow down a little bit please? 285 00:12:06,586 --> 00:12:09,686 (chattering) 286 00:12:09,786 --> 00:12:11,206 - Oh, now, everyone, quiet. 287 00:12:11,306 --> 00:12:12,914 I think he's coming. 288 00:12:13,014 --> 00:12:14,347 Put your hat on. 289 00:12:16,507 --> 00:12:17,340 Surprise. 290 00:12:18,387 --> 00:12:20,127 Come on everybody, surprise. 291 00:12:20,227 --> 00:12:22,487 (applauding) 292 00:12:22,587 --> 00:12:23,754 Leighton, DVD. 293 00:12:33,690 --> 00:12:35,567 - What the fudge? 294 00:12:35,667 --> 00:12:37,317 (gasping) 295 00:12:37,417 --> 00:12:38,767 - Oh my god, what is that? 296 00:12:38,867 --> 00:12:39,727 Don't look, Gavin. 297 00:12:39,827 --> 00:12:41,360 Leighton, turn it off. 298 00:12:41,460 --> 00:12:44,400 (laughing) 299 00:12:44,500 --> 00:12:47,167 (Julie shrieks) 300 00:12:49,307 --> 00:12:50,320 - Move. 301 00:12:50,420 --> 00:12:51,767 - Turn it off. - Leave it. 302 00:12:51,867 --> 00:12:53,700 - Leighton, unplug it. 303 00:13:01,547 --> 00:13:02,380 Surprise. 304 00:13:17,932 --> 00:13:19,929 - Yeah, but this isn't so much a goodbye 305 00:13:20,029 --> 00:13:22,601 as a goodbye until I see you all again 306 00:13:22,701 --> 00:13:26,118 for my first scheduled visit on the 22nd. 307 00:13:27,641 --> 00:13:30,058 (applauding) 308 00:13:31,861 --> 00:13:33,691 Anyway, today is also a chance 309 00:13:33,791 --> 00:13:37,241 for you to say a big hello to your new store manager, 310 00:13:37,341 --> 00:13:41,508 fresh from the freezers of Iceland, Lorraine Chain. 311 00:13:42,581 --> 00:13:44,998 (applauding) 312 00:13:46,749 --> 00:13:48,081 - I'll keep this brief 313 00:13:48,181 --> 00:13:51,161 as I will be coming to meet you all individually. 314 00:13:51,261 --> 00:13:55,261 Sort out the worker bees from the lazy bastards. 315 00:13:57,549 --> 00:13:59,281 (laughs) I'm just messing. 316 00:13:59,381 --> 00:14:01,631 (laughing) 317 00:14:02,501 --> 00:14:05,668 - That's handy, she's already met you. 318 00:14:08,981 --> 00:14:12,648 - Would, would, no, no way, nearly did once, 319 00:14:14,549 --> 00:14:16,321 would, definitely would. 320 00:14:16,421 --> 00:14:17,154 - What? 321 00:14:17,254 --> 00:14:18,609 You'd shag Louis Walsh? 322 00:14:18,709 --> 00:14:19,521 - He looks cuddly. 323 00:14:19,621 --> 00:14:20,601 - Jesus, Linda. 324 00:14:20,701 --> 00:14:21,481 - What? 325 00:14:21,581 --> 00:14:23,801 And he's Irish, I love the accent. 326 00:14:23,901 --> 00:14:25,481 - You need help. 327 00:14:25,581 --> 00:14:28,069 This is a customer announcement. We are now offering three for two 328 00:14:28,069 --> 00:14:30,321 on all Valco Treat Yourself microwave meals. 329 00:14:30,421 --> 00:14:32,121 So go on, treat yourself. 330 00:14:32,221 --> 00:14:32,954 Louis Walsh? 331 00:14:33,054 --> 00:14:34,001 I thought he was gay. 332 00:14:34,101 --> 00:14:36,701 - Won't be when I'm finished with him - Oh, you're making me feel sick. 333 00:14:36,701 --> 00:14:37,821 - You know what the best of it is, 334 00:14:37,821 --> 00:14:39,861 at the end of it, he'd be able to give me a nice rating 335 00:14:39,861 --> 00:14:40,881 on my performance. 336 00:14:40,981 --> 00:14:42,607 - You'd seriously do that? 337 00:14:42,707 --> 00:14:46,467 - Yeah, let him do whatever he wanted to me. 338 00:14:46,567 --> 00:14:49,488 (laughing) 339 00:14:49,588 --> 00:14:52,108 - Now, Lorraine, I hope you don't mind but I thought I'd put together 340 00:14:52,108 --> 00:14:54,343 an additional information pack. 341 00:14:54,443 --> 00:14:57,261 It's a little bit more detailed than the one you get from head office 342 00:14:57,261 --> 00:15:00,127 but believe me, this job can be difficult. 343 00:15:00,227 --> 00:15:04,321 - Gavin, Gavin, I'm at the end of my tether 344 00:15:04,421 --> 00:15:05,841 and I have to say something. 345 00:15:05,941 --> 00:15:09,441 - Margaret, we knock before entering a manager's office. 346 00:15:09,541 --> 00:15:10,641 - What is it Margaret? 347 00:15:10,741 --> 00:15:13,201 - It's the other mes, they're everywhere. 348 00:15:13,301 --> 00:15:16,921 I can't work with me own face staring at me all the time. 349 00:15:17,021 --> 00:15:18,681 Please can we get rid of them? 350 00:15:18,781 --> 00:15:20,361 - Let me handle this. 351 00:15:20,461 --> 00:15:22,921 No, Margaret, the cutouts are staying and that's final. 352 00:15:23,021 --> 00:15:24,856 - Can I be honest, Gavin? 353 00:15:24,956 --> 00:15:25,849 - I'm all ears. 354 00:15:25,949 --> 00:15:26,889 - She's bang right. 355 00:15:26,989 --> 00:15:28,722 Those cutouts give the wrong image. 356 00:15:28,822 --> 00:15:30,802 Some old woman smiling? 357 00:15:30,902 --> 00:15:33,602 Looks like an advert for a retirement home. 358 00:15:33,702 --> 00:15:34,882 No offence, love. 359 00:15:34,982 --> 00:15:35,715 - Thank you. 360 00:15:35,815 --> 00:15:36,862 - I'll get them shifted for you. 361 00:15:36,862 --> 00:15:39,082 - Oh, that's the best news I've heard all afternoon. 362 00:15:39,182 --> 00:15:43,349 Sorry I didn't knock, I didn't wanna make a noise. 363 00:15:47,577 --> 00:15:49,660 - Eh, gi's a chewing gum. 364 00:15:51,102 --> 00:15:52,602 You horrible twat. 365 00:15:53,502 --> 00:15:54,335 Hiya. 366 00:15:58,942 --> 00:16:00,192 - Oh, Andy, oh. 367 00:16:06,189 --> 00:16:07,392 - So what do you do, Julie? 368 00:16:07,492 --> 00:16:10,162 Apart from stick on mucky films. 369 00:16:10,262 --> 00:16:12,082 - Well, I have numerous duties-- 370 00:16:12,182 --> 00:16:14,156 - Don't worry, flower, I'm just messing. 371 00:16:14,256 --> 00:16:16,242 - Excuse me, mate, your doors won't open. 372 00:16:16,342 --> 00:16:18,162 - Oh, I'll deal with this, Gavin. 373 00:16:18,262 --> 00:16:20,002 There's a bit of a knack to these doors. 374 00:16:20,102 --> 00:16:23,685 It's all about the way you walk up to them. 375 00:16:24,582 --> 00:16:26,943 - You're probably best to use the manual override there, Julie. 376 00:16:26,943 --> 00:16:28,163 - I'm fine, Gavin. 377 00:16:28,263 --> 00:16:31,243 I can do some things by myself. 378 00:16:31,343 --> 00:16:35,043 It's more about the rhythm than anything. 379 00:16:35,143 --> 00:16:39,083 - I've got to get to the vets for four. 380 00:16:39,183 --> 00:16:40,563 - Julie, I really think the key is-- 381 00:16:40,663 --> 00:16:42,323 - I don't want to use the bloody key, Gavin, 382 00:16:42,423 --> 00:16:43,483 just shut up. 383 00:16:43,583 --> 00:16:44,416 - Julie. 384 00:16:46,103 --> 00:16:49,403 - [Sue] Two packets of Valco own-brand soft bread rolls for the price of one. 385 00:16:49,503 --> 00:16:51,603 Brilliant barbecue buns, enjoy. 386 00:16:51,703 --> 00:16:55,123 - [Lorraine] There you go, love, have a nice day. 387 00:16:55,223 --> 00:16:57,003 - She just can't stand butchers. 388 00:16:57,103 --> 00:16:58,683 - She doesn't seem to mind me. 389 00:16:58,783 --> 00:16:59,883 Think it's just you, mate. 390 00:16:59,983 --> 00:17:02,288 - What the hell am I supposed to do? 391 00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:05,363 - The old Andy Richmond charm routine. 392 00:17:05,463 --> 00:17:08,243 - That is not the worst idea you've ever had, Kieran. 393 00:17:08,343 --> 00:17:09,963 You've seen me in action. 394 00:17:10,063 --> 00:17:12,043 When this Casanova turns on the charm, 395 00:17:12,143 --> 00:17:14,393 women quite literally melt. 396 00:17:18,023 --> 00:17:20,123 - Ooh, I'll have to close me eyes. 397 00:17:20,223 --> 00:17:21,083 - That's the stuff. 398 00:17:21,183 --> 00:17:23,483 Maybe undo the top button, show her the goods. 399 00:17:23,583 --> 00:17:24,316 - Good shout. 400 00:17:24,416 --> 00:17:26,363 Hey, I'll stop by toiletries on the way, 401 00:17:26,463 --> 00:17:29,643 put some splash on, she won't know what's hit her. 402 00:17:29,743 --> 00:17:31,160 - Think stallion. 403 00:17:32,663 --> 00:17:34,483 - Oh, there you are. 404 00:17:34,583 --> 00:17:35,843 - I thought you'd left us. 405 00:17:35,943 --> 00:17:38,923 - Oh, good grief, are you quite alright? - No, I'm not alright. 406 00:17:39,023 --> 00:17:41,448 You're leaving and Lorraine thinks I'm stupid. 407 00:17:41,548 --> 00:17:44,123 - Can I be honest with you, Julie? 408 00:17:44,223 --> 00:17:45,843 When you were first interimming, 409 00:17:45,943 --> 00:17:48,843 do you know what, you were terrible. 410 00:17:48,943 --> 00:17:49,676 - What? 411 00:17:49,776 --> 00:17:51,623 - You've grown to become one of the best deputy managers 412 00:17:51,623 --> 00:17:52,723 I've ever had. 413 00:17:52,823 --> 00:17:55,443 Right up there with Andrew Burns. 414 00:17:55,543 --> 00:17:56,883 - Do you really mean that? 415 00:17:56,983 --> 00:17:58,723 - I mean it like a fox, Julie. 416 00:17:58,823 --> 00:18:02,673 - Oh, Gavin, you always make things better. 417 00:18:02,773 --> 00:18:04,643 Why do you have to leave? 418 00:18:04,743 --> 00:18:07,043 Just as we finally became a team. 419 00:18:07,143 --> 00:18:09,188 - Team Gavin and Julie. 420 00:18:09,288 --> 00:18:10,523 It's a bit like a marriage. 421 00:18:10,623 --> 00:18:12,323 - Without the sexual intercourse. 422 00:18:12,423 --> 00:18:15,403 - No sex on the shop floor, as the saying goes. 423 00:18:15,503 --> 00:18:18,086 - Oh, let's never get divorced. 424 00:18:20,893 --> 00:18:22,603 - Eh, really should get going now. 425 00:18:22,703 --> 00:18:23,963 - Oh, alright. 426 00:18:24,063 --> 00:18:25,244 Oh, oh. - Oh, what've you done? 427 00:18:25,344 --> 00:18:26,124 - It's my watch. 428 00:18:26,224 --> 00:18:26,957 - Can't you just? 429 00:18:27,057 --> 00:18:28,044 - No, it's stuck. 430 00:18:28,144 --> 00:18:29,604 No, don't pull, I can't. 431 00:18:29,704 --> 00:18:32,954 - You're gonna break one of me strings. 432 00:18:37,024 --> 00:18:38,324 - Do you mind knocking? 433 00:18:38,424 --> 00:18:39,924 - Sorry, Lorraine. 434 00:18:41,184 --> 00:18:42,997 Do you mind if I call you Lorraine? 435 00:18:43,097 --> 00:18:44,884 - Boss'll do. 436 00:18:44,984 --> 00:18:46,612 - Okay, boss. I-- 437 00:18:46,712 --> 00:18:48,725 - Shitting Christ, what's that smell? 438 00:18:48,825 --> 00:18:49,558 - Don't know. 439 00:18:49,658 --> 00:18:51,325 - Smells like a tart's handbag. 440 00:18:51,425 --> 00:18:52,565 - How strange. 441 00:18:52,665 --> 00:18:55,845 Look, I think we may have got off on the wrong foot. 442 00:18:55,945 --> 00:18:57,245 - Get off my desk. 443 00:18:57,345 --> 00:18:58,178 - Right. 444 00:19:02,385 --> 00:19:04,552 What I'm saying is I think 445 00:19:06,905 --> 00:19:10,322 you and I could be friends, good friends. 446 00:19:11,665 --> 00:19:14,605 Who knows, maybe more than that. 447 00:19:14,705 --> 00:19:16,685 - Do you think I were born yesterday? 448 00:19:16,785 --> 00:19:19,368 - Well, you do look very young. 449 00:19:21,835 --> 00:19:24,418 - Let's get one thing straight. 450 00:19:25,546 --> 00:19:29,526 You might've been able to push Gavin around 451 00:19:29,626 --> 00:19:33,086 like a brown paper bag but not me. 452 00:19:33,186 --> 00:19:34,603 Now, is that all? 453 00:19:38,306 --> 00:19:42,473 ♫ Never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight 454 00:19:43,666 --> 00:19:46,046 (mumbling) 455 00:19:46,146 --> 00:19:46,979 - Get out. 456 00:19:52,986 --> 00:19:54,146 - I'll let you have a go on Kieran if you-- 457 00:19:54,146 --> 00:19:54,979 - Out. 458 00:19:56,346 --> 00:19:57,686 - It's a funny feeling though, 459 00:19:57,786 --> 00:20:00,366 when you see yourself being thrown into a bin. 460 00:20:00,466 --> 00:20:02,246 - I suppose it must be. 461 00:20:02,346 --> 00:20:06,406 - Is that the last one, Leighton? - Yeah, I think this one's my favourite. 462 00:20:06,506 --> 00:20:08,173 - Aw, can I have it? 463 00:20:10,201 --> 00:20:11,118 - Eh, yeah. 464 00:20:12,026 --> 00:20:13,566 - Aw, I want just the one, 465 00:20:13,666 --> 00:20:16,486 it'll keep my Alan company when I'm at work. 466 00:20:16,586 --> 00:20:18,646 - Lorraine is definitely a lesbian, 467 00:20:18,746 --> 00:20:20,006 it's the only explanation. 468 00:20:20,106 --> 00:20:22,100 - I think you need some help on how to deal with women, mate. 469 00:20:22,100 --> 00:20:23,820 - Oh, from the boy who lives under the thumb 470 00:20:23,820 --> 00:20:26,166 and goes to Homebase every night? No thank you. 471 00:20:26,266 --> 00:20:28,140 - We're not going to Homebase anymore, actually, 472 00:20:28,140 --> 00:20:29,660 Emma's coming out with me and my mates. 473 00:20:29,660 --> 00:20:31,726 - Oh, how'd you find your bollocks, with a lamp? 474 00:20:31,826 --> 00:20:32,993 - Oh, grow up. 475 00:20:35,406 --> 00:20:38,823 Eh, I better dash, I'll see you tomorrow. 476 00:20:51,081 --> 00:20:53,164 - Miss Chain, Miss Chain. 477 00:20:54,506 --> 00:20:57,000 I just wanted to apologise for what happened earlier. 478 00:20:57,100 --> 00:20:58,526 I'm sorry I lost it, 479 00:20:58,626 --> 00:21:00,806 I suppose I just wanted to impress the new boss. 480 00:21:00,906 --> 00:21:02,440 - Oh, don't worry, kid. 481 00:21:02,540 --> 00:21:05,720 I've given blowjobs to impress the boss before now. 482 00:21:05,820 --> 00:21:09,566 - Right, well, anyway, I'll be much more on it tomorrow, 483 00:21:09,666 --> 00:21:10,926 I promise. 484 00:21:11,026 --> 00:21:12,166 - Any plans for tonight? 485 00:21:12,266 --> 00:21:16,006 - I'll probably just stay up and then go to bed. 486 00:21:16,106 --> 00:21:17,086 How about you? 487 00:21:17,186 --> 00:21:19,886 Up to anything exciting? - Maybe, someone called me a liar, 488 00:21:19,986 --> 00:21:21,686 I've gotta go and sort them out. 489 00:21:21,786 --> 00:21:25,006 - Right, well, I'll see you tomorrow then. 490 00:21:25,106 --> 00:21:27,280 - Have a good one, kid. 491 00:21:27,380 --> 00:21:30,297 (upbeat pop music) 492 00:21:31,421 --> 00:21:33,132 - You got me handbag? - Yes.