1 00:00:01,891 --> 00:00:03,711 - Can you stop that now? - If you can get it anywhere cheaper, 2 00:00:03,711 --> 00:00:05,378 I'll come 'round and cook it myself. 3 00:00:05,478 --> 00:00:06,523 - Red hot deals. 4 00:00:06,623 --> 00:00:09,152 - We've got offers on everything from booze to biscuits. 5 00:00:09,252 --> 00:00:10,339 - Loads of two for ones. 6 00:00:10,439 --> 00:00:11,588 - Service with a smile. 7 00:00:11,688 --> 00:00:13,493 (Margaret giggles) - We have fresh produce. 8 00:00:13,493 --> 00:00:14,293 - Grown locally. 9 00:00:14,393 --> 00:00:16,409 - Don't forget the Valco tick. - Am I gettin' paid for this? 10 00:00:16,409 --> 00:00:17,842 - Valco, oh I wasn't ready. - No. 11 00:00:17,942 --> 00:00:19,322 Oh weren't you ready? (laughing) 12 00:00:19,322 --> 00:00:20,935 - Valco, serves you right. 13 00:00:21,035 --> 00:00:23,081 - [All] Valco, serves you right. 14 00:00:23,181 --> 00:00:25,764 (upbeat music) 15 00:00:27,674 --> 00:00:29,444 - Morning Margaret, love. 16 00:00:29,544 --> 00:00:32,124 - Hey, it's exciting this early start, isn't it? 17 00:00:32,224 --> 00:00:34,705 Everything looks different. - You what, Margaret? 18 00:00:34,805 --> 00:00:36,685 - I've had a cup of coffee this morning to help me get up 19 00:00:36,685 --> 00:00:39,602 and I'm feeling a little buzzy bee. 20 00:00:40,946 --> 00:00:42,554 - Aw, I like seeing everyone here. 21 00:00:42,654 --> 00:00:43,816 It's like the Christmas party. 22 00:00:43,816 --> 00:00:45,106 - Yeah except I'm not holding your hair back 23 00:00:45,106 --> 00:00:46,104 while you throw up. 24 00:00:46,204 --> 00:00:48,777 - I'd had a bad mince pie. - And 15 rum and cokes. 25 00:00:48,877 --> 00:00:50,828 - It was the mince pie. 26 00:00:50,928 --> 00:00:53,777 - Today marks the day of me getting back in the boss's good books. 27 00:00:53,877 --> 00:00:55,758 - Oh yeah I forgot. She hates you doesn't she? 28 00:00:55,858 --> 00:00:57,228 - Bit harsh, Margaret. 29 00:00:57,328 --> 00:00:59,096 - I wonder why we're in, anyway. 30 00:00:59,196 --> 00:01:02,098 Do you think we've won something? - I'll tell you exactly why we're here. 31 00:01:02,198 --> 00:01:03,940 I heard about the same thing happening at Asda once. 32 00:01:03,940 --> 00:01:04,673 - Course you did. 33 00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,734 - Boss called all the staff in first thing, 34 00:01:06,834 --> 00:01:08,582 told them we're making some cuts. 35 00:01:08,682 --> 00:01:12,021 There's a hundred of ya, only 50 jobs, fight for it. 36 00:01:12,121 --> 00:01:13,173 And they did. 37 00:01:13,273 --> 00:01:15,163 One of their fishmongers were killed. 38 00:01:15,263 --> 00:01:16,981 - That sounds like murder. 39 00:01:17,081 --> 00:01:18,993 - Sounds like bullshit. 40 00:01:19,093 --> 00:01:22,900 (background chattering) 41 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:25,822 - I'm sorry, what's all this about again? 42 00:01:25,922 --> 00:01:28,454 I mean as number two, shouldn't I be-- - Don't worry, Julie, flower. 43 00:01:28,554 --> 00:01:30,355 All will be revealed. 44 00:01:30,455 --> 00:01:32,705 Come on, give me a hand up. 45 00:01:35,405 --> 00:01:37,405 - Oh, meeting's started. 46 00:01:38,420 --> 00:01:39,928 - Oh, no point being late. 47 00:01:40,028 --> 00:01:41,861 Might as well miss it. 48 00:01:44,041 --> 00:01:45,835 - We could have a little meeting of our own. 49 00:01:45,835 --> 00:01:47,094 - Don't think so. 50 00:01:47,194 --> 00:01:48,880 What would we even talk about? 51 00:01:48,980 --> 00:01:50,568 (laughing) - You know, hmm? 52 00:01:50,668 --> 00:01:52,110 More like a meeting. 53 00:01:52,210 --> 00:01:52,979 - Oh yeah? 54 00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:53,812 - Yeah. 55 00:01:53,912 --> 00:01:55,977 - Would it be like, a sit-down meeting? 56 00:01:56,077 --> 00:01:57,048 - However you want. 57 00:01:57,148 --> 00:02:01,059 You know, sat down, lay down, stood up. 58 00:02:01,159 --> 00:02:03,492 - Why don't I open my diary, 59 00:02:04,628 --> 00:02:07,087 see if I got room for your meetin'. 60 00:02:07,187 --> 00:02:08,312 - Okay, but hurry up. 61 00:02:08,412 --> 00:02:11,207 You know, we haven't got long. - No, you idiot. 62 00:02:11,307 --> 00:02:12,474 Open my diary. 63 00:02:15,228 --> 00:02:18,739 - (laughing) Aw yeah, your diary's your fanny, innit? 64 00:02:18,839 --> 00:02:20,131 Yeah, yeah, no I get it now. 65 00:02:20,231 --> 00:02:21,230 Yes. 66 00:02:21,330 --> 00:02:25,470 Okay well, how 'bout I bring a whiteboard to this meeting? 67 00:02:25,570 --> 00:02:27,937 - Whiteboard? - Mm-hm. 68 00:02:28,037 --> 00:02:29,470 - What does that even mean? 69 00:02:29,570 --> 00:02:30,303 - I don't know. 70 00:02:30,403 --> 00:02:33,630 I'm just doing what you're doing. - Well, you're rubbish at it. 71 00:02:33,730 --> 00:02:34,971 It's put me right off. 72 00:02:35,071 --> 00:02:37,110 - Like look, do you want to shag or not? 73 00:02:37,210 --> 00:02:37,943 - Yeah. 74 00:02:38,043 --> 00:02:39,876 - Yeah, let's go then. 75 00:02:41,050 --> 00:02:42,611 You're hard work sometimes. 76 00:02:42,711 --> 00:02:45,931 - (whistling) Settle down. 77 00:02:46,031 --> 00:02:49,096 Now you're probably all wondering why I got you in here early. 78 00:02:49,196 --> 00:02:52,297 Let me firstly say don't worry, I'm not sacking anyone. 79 00:02:52,397 --> 00:02:54,497 (Julie giggles) 80 00:02:54,597 --> 00:02:55,806 I'm sure you all read the papers 81 00:02:55,806 --> 00:02:58,308 and you know that it's a price war out there. 82 00:02:58,408 --> 00:02:59,896 - It's true, competition has never-- 83 00:02:59,996 --> 00:03:01,449 - I'm in my flow, Julie. 84 00:03:01,549 --> 00:03:02,282 - Sorry. 85 00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:04,807 - People love our basic range, 86 00:03:04,907 --> 00:03:08,210 but every supermarket's got a basic range. 87 00:03:08,310 --> 00:03:10,853 Are we gonna win this scrap by being the same as everyone else? 88 00:03:10,853 --> 00:03:11,853 Are we heck. 89 00:03:13,989 --> 00:03:17,036 I would like you to look in this bag. 90 00:03:17,136 --> 00:03:17,969 Ooh. 91 00:03:18,957 --> 00:03:22,399 - Ooh, isn't it exciting, I told you we'd win something. 92 00:03:22,499 --> 00:03:26,645 - Valco has got a secret weapon in this war 93 00:03:26,745 --> 00:03:29,005 and we're the lucky bastards that get to trial it. 94 00:03:29,105 --> 00:03:30,523 - What an honour it is that we-- 95 00:03:30,623 --> 00:03:34,386 - From today, Warrington Valco will be the only 96 00:03:34,486 --> 00:03:36,936 major UK supermarket to have a range 97 00:03:37,036 --> 00:03:39,116 below the basic range. 98 00:03:39,216 --> 00:03:42,466 I give you the Valco No Nonsense Range. 99 00:03:43,864 --> 00:03:46,226 (background chattering) 100 00:03:46,326 --> 00:03:49,116 - No Nonsense baked beans in tomato liquid. 101 00:03:49,216 --> 00:03:50,816 - Look cracking, don't they? 102 00:03:50,916 --> 00:03:51,649 (Julie titters) 103 00:03:51,749 --> 00:03:53,499 Any questions so far? 104 00:03:54,518 --> 00:03:55,351 - No! 105 00:03:56,580 --> 00:03:58,330 - She's had a coffee. 106 00:04:00,441 --> 00:04:03,650 (phone beeping) 107 00:04:03,750 --> 00:04:04,850 - You nearly done? 108 00:04:04,950 --> 00:04:07,771 - [Colin] Jesus, give me a chance. I got to use my imagination a bit here. 109 00:04:07,771 --> 00:04:09,060 Oh. 110 00:04:09,160 --> 00:04:11,827 (phone beeping) 111 00:04:12,776 --> 00:04:14,382 - I don't think we're meant to be eatin' them. 112 00:04:14,382 --> 00:04:15,540 - What? 113 00:04:15,640 --> 00:04:17,172 - Look at the state of the new kid. 114 00:04:17,272 --> 00:04:18,005 - [Kieran] What? 115 00:04:18,105 --> 00:04:19,800 There's nothing wrong with him. - I hate goths. 116 00:04:19,800 --> 00:04:20,802 All that black. 117 00:04:20,902 --> 00:04:21,635 Brings me down. 118 00:04:21,735 --> 00:04:22,980 I'm a sunshine person. 119 00:04:23,080 --> 00:04:24,660 - He's not a goth, he's emo. 120 00:04:24,760 --> 00:04:26,031 - I don't care what he is. 121 00:04:26,131 --> 00:04:28,040 He needs some vitamin D and a smile on his face. 122 00:04:28,040 --> 00:04:29,042 He's depressing me. 123 00:04:29,142 --> 00:04:30,939 - I've had many honours in my time, 124 00:04:31,039 --> 00:04:33,097 but Head Office choosing our branch 125 00:04:33,197 --> 00:04:36,571 to trial this, pisses on the lot. 126 00:04:36,671 --> 00:04:39,019 (employees clapping) 127 00:04:39,119 --> 00:04:41,669 Anyway, before you run away, 128 00:04:41,769 --> 00:04:44,777 I don't want you to think that life under me is all work and no play 129 00:04:44,877 --> 00:04:49,530 so as of tomorrow, there'll be a pool table in the canteen! 130 00:04:49,630 --> 00:04:51,004 (laughing) (employees exclaiming) 131 00:04:51,004 --> 00:04:51,973 - Aw brilliant. - Get in. 132 00:04:52,073 --> 00:04:53,453 - But that's tomorrow. 133 00:04:53,553 --> 00:04:57,362 Today, we open the doors on a new Valco. 134 00:04:57,462 --> 00:04:59,129 Ian, open the doors! 135 00:05:01,364 --> 00:05:02,097 - You what? 136 00:05:02,197 --> 00:05:04,115 - Open the bastard doors. 137 00:05:04,215 --> 00:05:05,382 - Right, yeah. 138 00:05:06,865 --> 00:05:07,853 Give us a sec. 139 00:05:07,953 --> 00:05:10,585 I've got the keys here somewhere. 140 00:05:10,685 --> 00:05:11,837 - You get the idea. 141 00:05:11,937 --> 00:05:13,354 Go to it, people. 142 00:05:15,546 --> 00:05:16,629 - Found them! 143 00:05:18,257 --> 00:05:21,088 (beeping) (engine revving) 144 00:05:21,188 --> 00:05:22,208 - Morning. 145 00:05:22,308 --> 00:05:23,391 - Hello, Vic. 146 00:05:24,359 --> 00:05:25,757 - What are you doing? 147 00:05:25,857 --> 00:05:27,366 - Just checking my lunch. 148 00:05:27,466 --> 00:05:28,787 - Ooh ooh, what's this? - Give it-- 149 00:05:28,887 --> 00:05:30,047 - A little love note - Give it here. 150 00:05:30,047 --> 00:05:30,999 from the missus. - It's private. 151 00:05:30,999 --> 00:05:32,167 - Sorry hun, no crisps. 152 00:05:32,267 --> 00:05:33,736 Think of the salt content. 153 00:05:33,836 --> 00:05:35,107 Bloody hell. 154 00:05:35,207 --> 00:05:36,408 - I said it's private. 155 00:05:36,508 --> 00:05:38,728 - Oh I used to put notes in Alan's lunchbox. 156 00:05:38,828 --> 00:05:40,411 It just said lunch. 157 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,188 - Boss, can I just say what an honour it is 158 00:05:44,188 --> 00:05:45,947 to be working on a day like this. 159 00:05:46,047 --> 00:05:46,917 - You what? 160 00:05:47,017 --> 00:05:48,837 - To be working on the day the new Valco range comes out. 161 00:05:48,837 --> 00:05:50,980 I mean I dreamt of this moment before. 162 00:05:51,080 --> 00:05:52,100 - Is he taking the piss? 163 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:54,283 - He's just enthusiastic. 164 00:05:55,681 --> 00:05:57,681 - And in the dream it was called the Leighton Range 165 00:05:57,681 --> 00:05:59,512 but apart from that it's exactly the same. 166 00:05:59,612 --> 00:06:00,445 - [Lorraine] Great. 167 00:06:00,445 --> 00:06:02,552 - And if there's anything you need, I'm right here. 168 00:06:02,652 --> 00:06:03,403 I'm right here. 169 00:06:03,503 --> 00:06:04,983 - Actually, there's a point of sale 170 00:06:04,983 --> 00:06:07,610 needs putting up in the entrance for No Nonsense. 171 00:06:07,710 --> 00:06:10,193 I want it to be the first thing people see when they come in. 172 00:06:10,193 --> 00:06:10,926 - Really? 173 00:06:11,026 --> 00:06:13,021 The first thing? 174 00:06:13,121 --> 00:06:15,661 - I want John Customer to say great! 175 00:06:15,761 --> 00:06:18,741 No Nonsense, 'bout bastard time. 176 00:06:18,841 --> 00:06:21,011 You'll find the stuff in my office, so. 177 00:06:21,111 --> 00:06:21,944 - Right. 178 00:06:22,044 --> 00:06:24,428 Don't worry, I'm all over it. 179 00:06:24,528 --> 00:06:25,528 6,000%. 180 00:06:33,199 --> 00:06:33,932 - 12p. 181 00:06:34,032 --> 00:06:36,163 Tell you what, I'm gonna start doing my shopping here from now on. 182 00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:38,387 Get the whole week for 20 quid. 183 00:06:38,487 --> 00:06:39,496 - It looks disgusting. 184 00:06:39,596 --> 00:06:41,956 - It looks like a sausage roll. There's nothing wrong with it. 185 00:06:41,956 --> 00:06:43,779 - All right, eat it then. - Fine. 186 00:06:50,727 --> 00:06:51,728 - Ingredients. 187 00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:52,995 Pork, 9%. 188 00:06:53,847 --> 00:06:57,749 White pepper extract, sage extract, gelatine, 189 00:06:57,849 --> 00:07:00,182 mechanically recovered meat. 190 00:07:01,199 --> 00:07:02,909 - Mechanically recovered meat? 191 00:07:03,009 --> 00:07:04,557 I'd rather eat me own ass. 192 00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:06,368 - You got a big enough plate? 193 00:07:06,468 --> 00:07:08,168 - You cheeky bitch. 194 00:07:08,268 --> 00:07:09,001 - Lol. (giggles) 195 00:07:09,101 --> 00:07:10,122 - Oh, lovely. 196 00:07:10,222 --> 00:07:13,922 - Olives, halloumi, humorous, artichokes. 197 00:07:14,022 --> 00:07:16,344 - You know, I think you should drink coffee more often, Margaret. 198 00:07:16,344 --> 00:07:17,412 You're like a machine. 199 00:07:17,512 --> 00:07:18,559 - I know. 200 00:07:18,659 --> 00:07:20,897 Who'd think coffee could have such an effect? 201 00:07:20,997 --> 00:07:22,207 - Well, it is a drug. 202 00:07:22,307 --> 00:07:23,537 - What, coffee's a drug? 203 00:07:23,637 --> 00:07:25,347 - Oh yeah, that's why I never touch the stuff. 204 00:07:25,347 --> 00:07:27,887 Hugs not drugs, that's my motto. 205 00:07:27,987 --> 00:07:31,820 - So, I've spent all morning on drugs at work? 206 00:07:32,666 --> 00:07:35,187 I don't know who I am anymore. 207 00:07:35,287 --> 00:07:37,797 - Yeah, you do seem like you've changed. 208 00:07:37,897 --> 00:07:40,353 A bit more on edge, shifty eyes, 209 00:07:40,453 --> 00:07:44,045 I just hope today's not random drug test day. 210 00:07:44,145 --> 00:07:45,433 - Random drug test day? 211 00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:46,792 - Oh yeah, they do it every year. 212 00:07:46,892 --> 00:07:48,536 Come 'round, take a sample of urine. 213 00:07:48,636 --> 00:07:50,749 Find out who's hopped up on happy pills, 214 00:07:50,849 --> 00:07:52,509 who's chasing the dragon. 215 00:07:52,609 --> 00:07:55,152 - What am I gonna do if it's today, Andy? 216 00:07:55,252 --> 00:07:57,904 Oh, please don't let 'em sack me. 217 00:07:58,004 --> 00:07:58,865 - Don't worry, Margaret. 218 00:07:58,865 --> 00:08:00,965 If they come 'round here, I'll piss in the pot for you. 219 00:08:01,065 --> 00:08:02,616 - Oh, thank you Andy. 220 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,355 Oh that is so lovely of you. 221 00:08:04,455 --> 00:08:06,147 - Ooh. (laughing) 222 00:08:06,247 --> 00:08:10,414 - Ham, shit-cake mushrooms, salami, sun-dried potatoes. 223 00:08:20,447 --> 00:08:21,865 (clattering) - Balls! 224 00:08:21,965 --> 00:08:22,698 - Colin! 225 00:08:22,798 --> 00:08:23,631 - What? 226 00:08:31,235 --> 00:08:32,485 - All right, Lay-turd. 227 00:08:32,585 --> 00:08:34,395 - I keep telling you it's Leighton. 228 00:08:34,495 --> 00:08:35,397 Leighton. 229 00:08:35,497 --> 00:08:36,679 - Settin' up a new display? 230 00:08:36,779 --> 00:08:37,612 - Yeah. 231 00:08:42,134 --> 00:08:44,725 I've been entrusted to set up the display for the new range 232 00:08:44,825 --> 00:08:46,514 and I'm not sure, but I think 233 00:08:46,614 --> 00:08:49,015 it might be the proudest moment of my life. 234 00:08:49,115 --> 00:08:50,255 - Yeah. 235 00:08:50,355 --> 00:08:52,014 It probably is. 236 00:08:52,114 --> 00:08:54,594 See you later, Lay-turd. 237 00:08:54,694 --> 00:08:55,574 - Leighton. 238 00:08:55,674 --> 00:08:56,415 It's Leighton. 239 00:08:56,515 --> 00:08:59,215 It even says it on my badge. 240 00:08:59,315 --> 00:09:02,884 L-E-I-G-H-T-O-N. 241 00:09:02,984 --> 00:09:03,717 Leighton. 242 00:09:03,817 --> 00:09:04,826 Leighton. 243 00:09:04,926 --> 00:09:07,426 - Fetch me some of that diced. 244 00:09:10,966 --> 00:09:13,334 - Hey babes, don't have any of this mince. 245 00:09:13,434 --> 00:09:15,134 Have some lettuce, love Emma. 246 00:09:15,234 --> 00:09:16,515 - Wow, when did she put that there? 247 00:09:16,515 --> 00:09:18,285 Did you see her come in here? - It's not funny. 248 00:09:18,285 --> 00:09:19,725 - Whoa, Tommy Temper's here. 249 00:09:19,825 --> 00:09:22,954 - What's the matter, hun? I just care about what you eat. 250 00:09:23,054 --> 00:09:26,137 - Actually, how did she put it there? 251 00:09:26,985 --> 00:09:27,994 - No, Margaret. 252 00:09:28,094 --> 00:09:29,306 - Just leave it, all right? 253 00:09:29,406 --> 00:09:30,873 - All right, I'm only messin'. 254 00:09:30,973 --> 00:09:32,973 - Don't, it's not funny. 255 00:09:33,814 --> 00:09:35,897 (laughs) 256 00:09:39,790 --> 00:09:42,661 - Don't go too quick on that thing. You don't wanna get done for speeding. 257 00:09:42,761 --> 00:09:45,359 - Hey, I fancy I could outrun you on this. 258 00:09:45,459 --> 00:09:47,009 - Probably not wrong there, Vic. 259 00:09:47,109 --> 00:09:48,276 See you later! 260 00:09:50,710 --> 00:09:52,781 - You not touched your tea. 261 00:09:52,881 --> 00:09:53,789 It'll get cold, Linda, 262 00:09:53,889 --> 00:09:55,749 and I'm not making you another one. 263 00:09:55,849 --> 00:09:57,849 - All right, God's sake. 264 00:10:00,739 --> 00:10:01,472 What the fu-- 265 00:10:01,572 --> 00:10:03,559 (Sue laughs) 266 00:10:03,659 --> 00:10:05,318 Mechanically recovered sausage? 267 00:10:05,418 --> 00:10:07,511 - How did that get there? (Linda groans) 268 00:10:07,611 --> 00:10:10,194 (Sue giggling) 269 00:10:25,543 --> 00:10:28,376 (Margaret laughs) 270 00:10:29,272 --> 00:10:30,623 - What's so funny? 271 00:10:30,723 --> 00:10:31,890 - Ah, nothing. 272 00:10:33,372 --> 00:10:36,277 I'm just remembering a joke Andy told me earlier. 273 00:10:36,377 --> 00:10:39,178 (Margaret laughs) 274 00:10:39,278 --> 00:10:40,206 - All right. 275 00:10:40,306 --> 00:10:41,039 - You'd a laughed. 276 00:10:41,139 --> 00:10:44,556 It were about this dog called Peppa Legs. 277 00:10:45,819 --> 00:10:48,567 - All right, I don't think you should have coffee full-stop. 278 00:10:48,667 --> 00:10:49,668 It's driving you mad. 279 00:10:49,768 --> 00:10:52,538 I'm Andy, I didn't tell you any joke about a dog. 280 00:10:52,638 --> 00:10:55,029 - I'm not talking about you. 281 00:10:55,129 --> 00:10:57,389 I mean the new Andy. 282 00:10:57,489 --> 00:10:58,869 - What new Andy? 283 00:10:58,969 --> 00:10:59,802 - Him. 284 00:11:01,401 --> 00:11:02,330 - No, no, no. 285 00:11:02,430 --> 00:11:04,471 There's only one Andy here. 286 00:11:04,571 --> 00:11:05,404 Oi, oi. 287 00:11:06,310 --> 00:11:08,079 Yeah, you, Smiler. 288 00:11:08,179 --> 00:11:10,719 Don't think you can swan 'round here with my name. 289 00:11:10,819 --> 00:11:11,552 - What? 290 00:11:11,652 --> 00:11:13,751 I don't know what you're on about. 291 00:11:13,851 --> 00:11:14,719 - I'm Andy. 292 00:11:14,819 --> 00:11:15,730 All right? 293 00:11:15,830 --> 00:11:17,747 I am, ergo, you're not. 294 00:11:28,393 --> 00:11:32,581 - And it says here that you are signed up at uni. 295 00:11:32,681 --> 00:11:35,153 - If you're worried about the course, I'd make sure that my studying 296 00:11:35,153 --> 00:11:38,453 wouldn't interfere with my work. Valco would always come first. 297 00:11:38,553 --> 00:11:41,082 - Do you know what I think, Katie? 298 00:11:41,182 --> 00:11:41,915 - What? 299 00:11:42,015 --> 00:11:45,063 - I think you couldn't give a bull's balls about Valco. 300 00:11:45,163 --> 00:11:48,040 You've signed up at uni, need money for the snake bite 301 00:11:48,140 --> 00:11:49,813 and there are no other jobs out there. 302 00:11:49,913 --> 00:11:51,040 - Absolutely not, I-- 303 00:11:51,140 --> 00:11:52,543 - Doesn't matter. 304 00:11:52,643 --> 00:11:55,680 Bottom line is saves us training up someone new 305 00:11:55,780 --> 00:11:58,433 and you're brighter than some of the idiots I've seen. 306 00:11:58,533 --> 00:11:59,366 - So? 307 00:12:01,993 --> 00:12:04,910 - Job's yours if you want it, love. 308 00:12:08,675 --> 00:12:12,682 (beeping) (clattering) 309 00:12:12,782 --> 00:12:14,171 - I don't know what the big deal is. 310 00:12:14,171 --> 00:12:16,062 - You can't have two people with the same name 311 00:12:16,062 --> 00:12:17,466 working in the same place. 312 00:12:17,566 --> 00:12:18,532 It's madness. 313 00:12:18,632 --> 00:12:20,694 - Loads of people with the same name work together. 314 00:12:20,694 --> 00:12:23,253 - Long before you started, we had two Lees working here. 315 00:12:23,353 --> 00:12:26,106 Within a year, they destroyed each other. 316 00:12:26,206 --> 00:12:28,556 This is all part of Lorraine's plan to undermine me. 317 00:12:28,656 --> 00:12:29,389 - You're mad. 318 00:12:29,489 --> 00:12:31,960 - I bet I wouldn't get treated like this if I was a baker. 319 00:12:32,060 --> 00:12:33,657 - What about the Chuckle Brothers? 320 00:12:33,757 --> 00:12:37,680 They've got the same name and they work together. 321 00:12:37,780 --> 00:12:39,060 Oh, hello Julie. 322 00:12:39,160 --> 00:12:41,909 - Oh, oh, you can tell Boss Woman her plan's not gonna work. 323 00:12:42,009 --> 00:12:42,999 She won't force me out. 324 00:12:43,099 --> 00:12:43,832 - What? 325 00:12:43,932 --> 00:12:44,741 - This new Andy. 326 00:12:44,841 --> 00:12:45,719 It won't work. 327 00:12:45,819 --> 00:12:48,720 - I've got absolutely no idea what you're talking about. 328 00:12:48,820 --> 00:12:50,709 - Oh sorry I thought she'd be keeping you in the loop. 329 00:12:50,709 --> 00:12:51,990 I guess we're both out in the cold. 330 00:12:51,990 --> 00:12:54,149 - For your information, I'm a very valued member 331 00:12:54,249 --> 00:12:55,309 of the management team. 332 00:12:55,409 --> 00:12:58,101 - Bet she didn't tell you about the pool table either, did she? 333 00:12:58,201 --> 00:12:59,989 - Not that it's any of your business, Andy, 334 00:13:00,089 --> 00:13:02,172 but I'm on a need-to-know 335 00:13:03,049 --> 00:13:05,549 executive, managerial synergy. 336 00:13:07,809 --> 00:13:11,559 I don't need to explain myself to underlings. 337 00:13:19,959 --> 00:13:20,697 - Bloody hell. 338 00:13:20,797 --> 00:13:22,349 All right, Katie! 339 00:13:22,449 --> 00:13:23,931 - Hi Lisa, you're looking well. 340 00:13:24,031 --> 00:13:25,050 - Cheers, yeah. 341 00:13:25,150 --> 00:13:27,949 I had a stomach parasite last month so I lost a stone. 342 00:13:28,049 --> 00:13:29,139 - [Katie] Great. 343 00:13:29,239 --> 00:13:31,131 - Oh, knew you'd be back. 344 00:13:31,231 --> 00:13:31,964 - Cheers. 345 00:13:32,064 --> 00:13:34,369 - Yeah, thought you'd last longer than a few months, though. 346 00:13:34,369 --> 00:13:35,417 No offence. 347 00:13:35,517 --> 00:13:37,117 It's not really travelling that, is it? 348 00:13:37,117 --> 00:13:39,344 - Yeah it's more travelling than you've done on that chair. 349 00:13:39,344 --> 00:13:40,215 - All right. 350 00:13:40,315 --> 00:13:42,194 No need to get arsey. 351 00:13:42,294 --> 00:13:43,127 See ya. 352 00:13:45,184 --> 00:13:46,017 What? 353 00:13:47,492 --> 00:13:50,764 ♫ We found love in a hopeless place 354 00:13:50,864 --> 00:13:54,353 ♫ We found love in a hopeless place 355 00:13:54,453 --> 00:13:57,145 ♫ We found love in a hopeless place 356 00:13:57,245 --> 00:13:58,424 - You what? 357 00:13:58,524 --> 00:13:59,257 - What? 358 00:13:59,357 --> 00:14:00,673 - A hopeless place? 359 00:14:00,773 --> 00:14:01,956 - Yeah, that's how it goes. 360 00:14:02,056 --> 00:14:03,815 - No, it's homeless place. 361 00:14:03,915 --> 00:14:05,615 - (giggling) Homeless? 362 00:14:05,715 --> 00:14:07,607 Where did you get that from? - Well, the video. 363 00:14:07,707 --> 00:14:09,375 She looks like a tramp, doesn't she? 364 00:14:09,475 --> 00:14:10,413 - Ah, Sue. 365 00:14:10,513 --> 00:14:12,285 What the bloody hell is a homeless place? 366 00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:15,356 - One of them shelters where they give you free soup. 367 00:14:15,456 --> 00:14:17,159 What's a hopeless place then? 368 00:14:17,259 --> 00:14:18,217 - Here with you. 369 00:14:18,317 --> 00:14:19,666 Completely bloody hopeless. 370 00:14:19,766 --> 00:14:22,487 (both laughing) 371 00:14:22,587 --> 00:14:25,737 ♫ We found love in a hopeless place 372 00:14:25,837 --> 00:14:29,239 ♫ We found love in a hopeless place 373 00:14:29,339 --> 00:14:30,865 (both laughing) 374 00:14:30,965 --> 00:14:31,698 - Oh. 375 00:14:31,798 --> 00:14:33,881 - Oh, it's nice. - It was. 376 00:14:34,745 --> 00:14:35,835 - Well, well, well. 377 00:14:35,935 --> 00:14:37,180 Look who it is. 378 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:38,934 - Oh, Katie. 379 00:14:39,034 --> 00:14:40,167 Well you look different. 380 00:14:40,267 --> 00:14:41,434 You look so... 381 00:14:42,585 --> 00:14:43,418 - What? 382 00:14:44,765 --> 00:14:45,516 - Brown. 383 00:14:45,616 --> 00:14:46,876 - Oh, right yeah. 384 00:14:46,976 --> 00:14:49,335 I still got my tan. - So how was the travelling? 385 00:14:49,435 --> 00:14:52,785 What were your flight like? Oh, you weren't put in a Thai jail was ya? 386 00:14:52,885 --> 00:14:54,587 Ooh, I'm sorry, I've had a coffee. 387 00:14:54,687 --> 00:14:56,649 I'm a bit faster than normal. 388 00:14:56,749 --> 00:14:58,191 - Yeah, travelling was great. 389 00:14:58,291 --> 00:14:59,860 Got to see the world and that. 390 00:14:59,960 --> 00:15:02,319 - What you doing back here anyway? - Aw, I'm with my mum again. 391 00:15:02,419 --> 00:15:03,991 Start uni next week. 392 00:15:04,091 --> 00:15:05,028 - Uni? 393 00:15:05,128 --> 00:15:06,679 - Yeah, studying psychology. 394 00:15:06,779 --> 00:15:07,839 - You should've come to me. 395 00:15:07,939 --> 00:15:10,511 I know more about the human mind than any university. 396 00:15:10,611 --> 00:15:12,339 - Yeah, I did think about coming to you first 397 00:15:12,339 --> 00:15:15,949 but I thought I'd learn more from a professor than a butcher. (laughs) 398 00:15:16,049 --> 00:15:18,180 - You just missed Bug-a-lugs, he's gone on his break. 399 00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:19,519 - Oh right. 400 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:20,569 How is Kieran? 401 00:15:20,669 --> 00:15:22,591 - Still the second best butcher in Valco. 402 00:15:22,691 --> 00:15:24,151 - (laughing) How was his wedding? 403 00:15:24,251 --> 00:15:25,391 - Oh it was brilliant. 404 00:15:25,491 --> 00:15:26,224 Brilliant. 405 00:15:26,324 --> 00:15:27,169 I was on top form. 406 00:15:27,169 --> 00:15:30,116 Made one of his mates literally piss himself. 407 00:15:30,216 --> 00:15:31,973 - [Margaret] So are you coming back here to work? 408 00:15:31,973 --> 00:15:33,525 - Just had an interview with the new Gavin. 409 00:15:33,525 --> 00:15:35,753 - Oh, don't get me started on her. 410 00:15:35,853 --> 00:15:37,104 Surprised she even interviewed you. 411 00:15:37,104 --> 00:15:39,256 Thought she was only taking on people with my name. 412 00:15:39,256 --> 00:15:40,444 - There's two Andys now. 413 00:15:40,544 --> 00:15:41,665 Can you believe it, Katie? 414 00:15:41,765 --> 00:15:42,962 Under one roof. 415 00:15:43,062 --> 00:15:44,882 - I don't think I want to. 416 00:15:44,982 --> 00:15:46,116 Anyway, I best get going. 417 00:15:46,216 --> 00:15:49,057 - So we'll see you soon, touch wood. 418 00:15:49,157 --> 00:15:50,476 Oh, there's no wood. 419 00:15:50,576 --> 00:15:52,977 Oh, close enough. (chuckling) 420 00:15:53,077 --> 00:15:55,274 - Yeah, I'll see you later. 421 00:15:55,374 --> 00:15:58,556 - Paying nine grand a year to study psychology. 422 00:15:58,656 --> 00:16:00,823 I'd have done it for nowt. 423 00:16:05,996 --> 00:16:06,745 - No Sense. 424 00:16:06,845 --> 00:16:08,618 What happened to the middle bit? - Some of the letters were missing 425 00:16:08,618 --> 00:16:10,025 so I thought I'd use some initiative. 426 00:16:10,025 --> 00:16:11,938 - And how the frig is that using initiative? 427 00:16:12,038 --> 00:16:13,828 - Well, it's a good question, thank you for asking. 428 00:16:13,828 --> 00:16:16,320 Well, I thought that since it can't say no nonsense 429 00:16:16,420 --> 00:16:18,520 I thought I might just leave a gap here 430 00:16:18,620 --> 00:16:21,453 so it looks like no nothing sense, 431 00:16:22,961 --> 00:16:26,010 which is pretty similar to no nonsense and I don't want to get carried away, 432 00:16:26,010 --> 00:16:28,650 but maybe we should suggest that all branches do it like that. 433 00:16:28,750 --> 00:16:31,008 - Yeah, I'll phone Head Office now. 434 00:16:31,108 --> 00:16:32,690 - Oh, you do that? 435 00:16:32,790 --> 00:16:34,301 Can I go and call my mum? 436 00:16:34,401 --> 00:16:36,068 I gotta call my mum. 437 00:16:37,199 --> 00:16:41,621 - Any thicker and we could sell him as double cream. 438 00:16:41,721 --> 00:16:43,054 Oh, out with it. 439 00:16:44,350 --> 00:16:45,901 - Oh, it's nothing. 440 00:16:46,001 --> 00:16:48,090 - It doesn't sound like nothing. 441 00:16:48,190 --> 00:16:51,579 - Well, I feel like I'm out of the loop. 442 00:16:51,679 --> 00:16:53,130 I'm a deputy manager. 443 00:16:53,230 --> 00:16:54,821 I belong in the loop. 444 00:16:54,921 --> 00:16:56,141 Right in the middle of it. 445 00:16:56,241 --> 00:16:57,861 - If this is about the new range, 446 00:16:57,961 --> 00:17:02,130 that was from Head Office. - What about the new pool table? 447 00:17:02,230 --> 00:17:05,453 I wasn't consulted on that, either. 448 00:17:05,553 --> 00:17:07,322 - You're quite right, flower. 449 00:17:07,422 --> 00:17:09,714 I should've told you about the new range. 450 00:17:09,814 --> 00:17:11,266 You're my number two. 451 00:17:11,366 --> 00:17:12,896 - Well, thanks. 452 00:17:12,996 --> 00:17:15,025 - Well you don't have to worry about the pool table. 453 00:17:15,025 --> 00:17:17,034 Let's just keep that shower happy. 454 00:17:17,134 --> 00:17:19,056 It's the oldest management trick in the book. 455 00:17:19,156 --> 00:17:19,889 - Oh really? 456 00:17:19,989 --> 00:17:22,153 - Did the same at Iceland first week. 457 00:17:22,253 --> 00:17:23,325 Bought them a ball. 458 00:17:23,425 --> 00:17:25,291 They'd have marched into hell for me after that. 459 00:17:25,291 --> 00:17:26,051 (Julie giggles) 460 00:17:26,151 --> 00:17:28,751 From now on, we're a management team. 461 00:17:28,851 --> 00:17:29,684 - Go team! 462 00:17:31,471 --> 00:17:33,091 - Yeah, see ya later. 463 00:17:33,191 --> 00:17:35,108 - That was a high, bye! 464 00:17:41,333 --> 00:17:42,835 - Kieran! 465 00:17:42,935 --> 00:17:44,185 - Katie! - Hi! 466 00:17:44,285 --> 00:17:45,118 - Jesus. 467 00:17:48,172 --> 00:17:49,585 God. 468 00:17:49,685 --> 00:17:51,351 How long have you been back? - I've moved back. 469 00:17:51,351 --> 00:17:52,435 Start uni next week, so-- 470 00:17:52,435 --> 00:17:53,366 - Uni? - Mm. 471 00:17:53,466 --> 00:17:54,716 - Ah. - Shut up. 472 00:17:55,736 --> 00:17:57,956 - Well what are you doing here? 473 00:17:58,056 --> 00:17:59,590 - I've just been for an interview. 474 00:17:59,690 --> 00:18:00,670 - Really? - Mm-hm. 475 00:18:00,770 --> 00:18:02,359 - What, and you were gonna go without saying hello? 476 00:18:02,359 --> 00:18:04,258 - Well I went past the meat counter but you weren't there, 477 00:18:04,258 --> 00:18:05,598 so I was just gonna-- 478 00:18:05,698 --> 00:18:06,531 - I thought you were meant to be gone six months. 479 00:18:06,531 --> 00:18:07,431 What happened? 480 00:18:07,531 --> 00:18:08,494 - Nothing. 481 00:18:08,594 --> 00:18:09,564 It was great, you know. 482 00:18:09,564 --> 00:18:11,324 I had a brilliant time, enjoyed seeing the sites and that. 483 00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:12,522 - But? - It was just 484 00:18:12,622 --> 00:18:13,355 a bit annoying. 485 00:18:13,455 --> 00:18:16,846 There was a lot of rich kids on their gap years, you know. 486 00:18:16,946 --> 00:18:17,679 Did my head in. 487 00:18:17,779 --> 00:18:20,267 - What, and you're coming back here? Here, here, to work? 488 00:18:20,367 --> 00:18:21,736 - Old job's mine if I want it. 489 00:18:21,836 --> 00:18:22,728 Woo! 490 00:18:22,828 --> 00:18:23,816 - Ah, it'll be fun. 491 00:18:23,916 --> 00:18:25,316 - Well I've got to pay my student loan somehow. 492 00:18:25,316 --> 00:18:29,168 - What, River Island turned you down then? - (laughing) Funny! 493 00:18:29,268 --> 00:18:31,099 Yeah, they did actually. 494 00:18:31,199 --> 00:18:32,760 - Ah, it's not so bad working here. 495 00:18:32,860 --> 00:18:33,875 - I suppose. 496 00:18:33,975 --> 00:18:35,057 Although I've got to buy a new uniform. 497 00:18:35,057 --> 00:18:37,957 Set fire to the old one when I was pissed. (laughing) 498 00:18:38,057 --> 00:18:39,059 - I better go but 499 00:18:39,159 --> 00:18:42,965 I'll see you soon. - Better go anyway, so. 500 00:18:43,065 --> 00:18:44,848 I heard you tied the knot then? 501 00:18:44,948 --> 00:18:46,379 - Yeah, all married up now. 502 00:18:46,479 --> 00:18:48,636 Under the (mimics whip cracking). 503 00:18:48,736 --> 00:18:50,869 - Ah, congratulations, mate. 504 00:18:50,969 --> 00:18:51,789 - I best-- 505 00:18:51,889 --> 00:18:53,272 - I better go anyway. 506 00:18:53,372 --> 00:18:54,205 See ya. 507 00:18:55,427 --> 00:18:56,829 - Oh! - Sorry. 508 00:18:56,929 --> 00:18:57,762 Oh. 509 00:18:59,398 --> 00:19:00,949 (Lorraine laughing) 510 00:19:01,049 --> 00:19:04,061 - And she said if both your hands are on my shoulders, 511 00:19:04,161 --> 00:19:05,789 what's that stickin' in my back? 512 00:19:05,889 --> 00:19:08,488 (both laughing) 513 00:19:08,588 --> 00:19:10,541 (Sharon whispers) 514 00:19:10,641 --> 00:19:12,749 (Lorraine laughs) 515 00:19:12,849 --> 00:19:15,349 - Can I have a word, Lorraine? 516 00:19:18,081 --> 00:19:19,831 - Go on back to work. 517 00:19:23,481 --> 00:19:24,781 - Just thought you should know, 518 00:19:24,881 --> 00:19:25,959 I know what you're doing. 519 00:19:26,059 --> 00:19:27,639 - What the frig are you on about now? 520 00:19:27,739 --> 00:19:30,229 - This new kid, bringing in someone with my name 521 00:19:30,329 --> 00:19:31,221 so I'll jump ship. 522 00:19:31,321 --> 00:19:32,964 I bet you won't bring in another Sharon, would ya? 523 00:19:32,964 --> 00:19:35,146 - Andy for the love of God, look at me. 524 00:19:35,246 --> 00:19:38,199 Do I look like a woman who doesn't know how to sack someone? 525 00:19:38,299 --> 00:19:40,928 If I wanted you out, believe me you would know about it. 526 00:19:41,028 --> 00:19:43,438 I'd have you crying like a little baby. 527 00:19:43,538 --> 00:19:45,129 - Can't work with another Andy. 528 00:19:45,229 --> 00:19:46,449 It's insane. 529 00:19:46,549 --> 00:19:49,889 - Jesus, you've never heard of a nickname? 530 00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:51,169 - Good idea, thanks. 531 00:19:51,269 --> 00:19:52,852 Yeah, I'll do that. 532 00:19:55,368 --> 00:19:56,101 - Anything else? 533 00:19:56,201 --> 00:19:57,279 Any other emergencies? 534 00:19:57,379 --> 00:19:58,112 - No, that's all. 535 00:19:58,212 --> 00:19:59,295 Cheers, boss. 536 00:20:02,477 --> 00:20:03,657 (clattering) 537 00:20:03,757 --> 00:20:04,590 - Yes! 538 00:20:05,608 --> 00:20:06,691 Get in there! 539 00:20:07,859 --> 00:20:09,689 - What about Black Hair? 540 00:20:09,789 --> 00:20:10,855 - Raven. 541 00:20:10,955 --> 00:20:11,996 Nah, that's not right. 542 00:20:12,096 --> 00:20:13,076 - Black-haired boy. 543 00:20:13,176 --> 00:20:14,476 - Goth Boy. 544 00:20:14,576 --> 00:20:17,167 Closer, but just, it's not quite right. 545 00:20:17,267 --> 00:20:18,817 - The Boy With The Black Hair. 546 00:20:18,917 --> 00:20:22,289 - Sounds like a bloody book, Margaret. 547 00:20:22,389 --> 00:20:23,338 I've got it. 548 00:20:23,438 --> 00:20:25,771 From now on, you are Andrew. 549 00:20:28,480 --> 00:20:29,580 - But I'm not an Andrew. 550 00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:30,520 My name's just Andy. 551 00:20:30,520 --> 00:20:33,041 - It's Andrew or it's 10 rounds with me in the warehouse. 552 00:20:33,141 --> 00:20:33,874 - Fine. 553 00:20:33,974 --> 00:20:34,707 Whatever. 554 00:20:34,807 --> 00:20:35,724 I'm Andrew. 555 00:20:38,280 --> 00:20:39,197 - Cheer up. 556 00:20:40,192 --> 00:20:42,141 - Hey, you'll never guess who you've just missed? 557 00:20:42,141 --> 00:20:43,401 - Gary Barlow. 558 00:20:43,501 --> 00:20:44,961 - No. - Katie? 559 00:20:45,061 --> 00:20:45,991 - Yeah, how did you-- 560 00:20:46,091 --> 00:20:47,048 - I've just seen her. 561 00:20:47,148 --> 00:20:49,833 - Oh, what did you say Gary Barlow for then? 562 00:20:49,933 --> 00:20:50,839 Is he here? 563 00:20:50,939 --> 00:20:52,351 - It was just a joke, Margaret. 564 00:20:52,451 --> 00:20:53,520 - Oh. 565 00:20:53,620 --> 00:20:57,476 Oh yeah, (laughing) yeah, Gary Barlow. 566 00:20:57,576 --> 00:21:00,056 - Has that coffee worn off yet? - Oh, I think so. 567 00:21:00,156 --> 00:21:01,569 I won't be doing that again. 568 00:21:01,669 --> 00:21:03,900 All day I felt like I've been in a car chase. 569 00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,689 - You know you can get decaf? 570 00:21:05,789 --> 00:21:07,028 - Well that's what I have. 571 00:21:07,128 --> 00:21:08,753 Oh, I only ever have decaf. 572 00:21:08,853 --> 00:21:12,436 Won't have that other stuff, sends you mad! 573 00:21:19,304 --> 00:21:20,229 - Good. 574 00:21:20,329 --> 00:21:21,096 Good. 575 00:21:21,196 --> 00:21:22,196 - Yes, good. 576 00:21:23,803 --> 00:21:24,536 - Quick pint? 577 00:21:24,636 --> 00:21:26,513 - Yeah, oh wait no, I can't actually. 578 00:21:26,613 --> 00:21:27,836 I promised I'd paint the bathroom. 579 00:21:27,836 --> 00:21:29,545 - Jesus, why don't you just tuck it between your legs 580 00:21:29,545 --> 00:21:30,845 and have done with it? 581 00:21:30,945 --> 00:21:32,054 Oh Andrew mate, don't worry. 582 00:21:32,054 --> 00:21:34,076 Your new name badge will be here by the end of the week. 583 00:21:34,076 --> 00:21:35,159 See ya later. 584 00:21:43,572 --> 00:21:44,746 - Night night, Dave. 585 00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:46,346 - Night, Margaret. 586 00:21:49,814 --> 00:21:52,731 (jolly rock music)