1 00:00:02,357 --> 00:00:04,995 - If you can get it anywhere cheaper, I'll come round and cook it meself. 2 00:00:04,995 --> 00:00:06,883 - Red dot deals. - Offers on everything 3 00:00:06,983 --> 00:00:09,454 from booze to biscuits! - Loads of two-for-ones. 4 00:00:09,554 --> 00:00:11,887 - Service with a smile. (laughing) 5 00:00:11,987 --> 00:00:14,036 - We have fresh produce. - Delivered daily. 6 00:00:14,136 --> 00:00:15,598 - Don't forget the Valco tic. - That way. 7 00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:16,999 - Am I getting paid for this? - No. 8 00:00:17,099 --> 00:00:18,826 - I wasn't ready. - Oh weren't you ready? 9 00:00:18,926 --> 00:00:19,659 (laughing) 10 00:00:19,759 --> 00:00:23,926 - Valco serves you right! - Valco serves you right! 11 00:00:27,931 --> 00:00:29,811 (yelling, scoffing) 12 00:00:29,911 --> 00:00:32,395 (knocking) - Yes! 13 00:00:32,495 --> 00:00:35,139 (rhythmic knocking) 14 00:00:35,239 --> 00:00:36,982 Is that you Leighton? - Yeah. 15 00:00:37,082 --> 00:00:39,395 - Well come in then! 16 00:00:39,495 --> 00:00:41,406 Now then, I know it's not normal policy 17 00:00:41,506 --> 00:00:43,940 but I need you to help me with some admin. 18 00:00:44,040 --> 00:00:44,773 - Me? 19 00:00:44,873 --> 00:00:47,764 - Oh yeah it's just a bit of photocopy. You know, envelope stuffing. 20 00:00:47,864 --> 00:00:50,700 It's basic stuff. - You want me to do it? 21 00:00:50,800 --> 00:00:53,128 (yelling enthusiastically) 22 00:00:53,228 --> 00:00:54,794 I've actually dreamt of this. 23 00:00:54,894 --> 00:00:56,492 And it's just like the dream. 24 00:00:56,592 --> 00:00:59,488 Actually no, it's a little bit warmer. 25 00:00:59,588 --> 00:01:03,295 - Yeah well we're transferring the Valco ketchup packing 26 00:01:03,395 --> 00:01:06,879 from a glass bottle into a poly (stammering) 27 00:01:06,979 --> 00:01:10,533 plastic one, and I need you to get a memo out 28 00:01:10,633 --> 00:01:12,280 to all the stores re the change. 29 00:01:12,380 --> 00:01:13,889 - It would be an actual honour. 30 00:01:13,989 --> 00:01:16,575 - Great stuff you know. - Gavin don't worry. 31 00:01:16,675 --> 00:01:18,533 I'm on it like Sonic. (laughing) 32 00:01:18,633 --> 00:01:20,966 He's a really fast hedgehog. 33 00:01:31,284 --> 00:01:32,252 - All right now the hat. 34 00:01:32,352 --> 00:01:33,518 - Do I have to? - Well it's either the hat 35 00:01:33,518 --> 00:01:36,686 or the hairnet and the hairnet is totally whack mate. 36 00:01:36,786 --> 00:01:38,096 - Whack. 37 00:01:38,196 --> 00:01:40,070 - It's a thing innit? 38 00:01:40,170 --> 00:01:41,087 It's whack. 39 00:01:44,165 --> 00:01:47,809 Once more, fillet, rib eye, rump, brisket, mince. 40 00:01:47,909 --> 00:01:48,952 - What's the point? 41 00:01:49,052 --> 00:01:51,303 I'm only on holiday cover, and I'm a vegetarian. 42 00:01:51,403 --> 00:01:52,486 - Oh come on! 43 00:01:53,335 --> 00:01:55,280 Look at me, what do you think they are hey? 44 00:01:55,380 --> 00:01:56,329 Molars yeah? 45 00:01:56,429 --> 00:01:59,149 From the Latin mola meaning millstone 46 00:01:59,249 --> 00:02:01,572 for grinding meat, mate. 47 00:02:01,672 --> 00:02:03,540 (machine screeching) 48 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,339 - So it's all very simple really. 49 00:02:05,439 --> 00:02:09,210 You just select the colour and quantity 50 00:02:09,310 --> 00:02:10,560 and hey presto! 51 00:02:13,564 --> 00:02:14,481 Hey presto! 52 00:02:16,116 --> 00:02:18,158 - Need to press the green triangle! 53 00:02:18,258 --> 00:02:20,134 - Julie! - Gavin! 54 00:02:20,234 --> 00:02:23,285 - Yay Julie's back, double yay! 55 00:02:23,385 --> 00:02:25,463 (happily laughing) 56 00:02:25,563 --> 00:02:29,362 - Oh good to see you Julie, how are you? 57 00:02:29,462 --> 00:02:30,752 - I'm great Gavin. 58 00:02:30,852 --> 00:02:33,688 Really good, I'm a competent, capable woman 59 00:02:33,788 --> 00:02:35,918 who believes in her abilities. 60 00:02:36,018 --> 00:02:37,063 - Gosh, are you? 61 00:02:37,163 --> 00:02:39,893 I mean clearly. - It's my new mantra. 62 00:02:39,993 --> 00:02:42,024 A little self-affirmation to help me through 63 00:02:42,024 --> 00:02:46,213 any dark moments, not that there'll be any. (laughing) 64 00:02:46,313 --> 00:02:48,087 - No, of course not, right. 65 00:02:48,187 --> 00:02:50,231 Let's... (mumbling) 66 00:02:50,331 --> 00:02:53,451 Ugh, Debbie Gossling in Kendall. 67 00:02:53,551 --> 00:02:54,479 It'll be a long one. 68 00:02:54,579 --> 00:02:56,326 No, (scoffing) I've made it be known, 69 00:02:56,426 --> 00:02:58,126 I'm staying put here today. 70 00:02:58,226 --> 00:02:59,885 - Oh there's no need! 71 00:02:59,985 --> 00:03:03,390 Get me on the floor Gavin, I'm here to be used by you. 72 00:03:03,490 --> 00:03:04,285 - Really? 73 00:03:04,385 --> 00:03:06,348 You sure you wouldn't rather ease your way back in 74 00:03:06,348 --> 00:03:09,835 more gently, I'm up to me top pocket in paperwork here 75 00:03:09,935 --> 00:03:11,306 as you can see. - No. 76 00:03:11,406 --> 00:03:13,947 Anyway, you've got Leighton helping out with the admin now. 77 00:03:14,047 --> 00:03:18,214 (whirring) - Whoa, that's really snatchy. 78 00:03:26,723 --> 00:03:27,992 - Yo. 79 00:03:28,092 --> 00:03:30,903 I've been thinking and I'm happy with, 80 00:03:31,003 --> 00:03:34,523 you know, having an open relationship so... 81 00:03:34,623 --> 00:03:38,732 - (laughing) Listen to yourself, open relationship. 82 00:03:38,832 --> 00:03:42,920 What do you think this is Downton fucking Abbey? 83 00:03:43,020 --> 00:03:45,270 (laughing) 84 00:03:48,674 --> 00:03:51,036 - So, just to warn you, there is rather a lot to do 85 00:03:51,136 --> 00:03:53,421 on the shop floor now that we're a staff member down. 86 00:03:53,521 --> 00:03:56,825 (phone chiming) 87 00:03:56,925 --> 00:03:57,975 - Kendall? - Yeah Kendall, 88 00:03:57,975 --> 00:03:59,058 I'll have to. 89 00:04:00,731 --> 00:04:03,064 Yes, Debbie, how can I help? 90 00:04:03,915 --> 00:04:04,748 Right. 91 00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:08,181 Well she's drunk all of it? 92 00:04:08,281 --> 00:04:10,704 I didn't even know we still stocked Taboo. 93 00:04:10,804 --> 00:04:15,100 Yeah well just get maintenance to remove the cubicle door. 94 00:04:15,200 --> 00:04:18,117 No I simply can't Debbie. - You can, 95 00:04:19,020 --> 00:04:20,270 go. 96 00:04:20,370 --> 00:04:23,325 - Hold on Debbie, one second. 97 00:04:23,425 --> 00:04:26,151 - Are you sure? - Positive, trust me. 98 00:04:26,251 --> 00:04:28,448 - Well obviously if there's a problem, I'm on the blow. 99 00:04:28,448 --> 00:04:32,123 - I know, and I promise I'll blow you if anything comes up. 100 00:04:32,223 --> 00:04:33,640 I'm sorry. - What? 101 00:04:34,653 --> 00:04:35,915 - Blow you. 102 00:04:36,015 --> 00:04:37,795 - Oh, OK, right. 103 00:04:37,895 --> 00:04:41,272 Well I'll, (stammering) I won't be long. 104 00:04:41,372 --> 00:04:42,896 Yeah Debbie can you just try and get him 105 00:04:42,896 --> 00:04:45,853 to put some clothes on, yeah at least the bottom half. 106 00:04:45,953 --> 00:04:48,761 Just give a yarner kit, I dunno. 107 00:04:48,861 --> 00:04:51,278 - I'm a competent, capable woman 108 00:04:51,378 --> 00:04:53,878 who believes in her abilities. 109 00:04:56,395 --> 00:04:57,228 - 55, 110 00:04:58,092 --> 00:04:59,548 56, 111 00:04:59,648 --> 00:05:02,246 57 pence, have a really super day. 112 00:05:02,346 --> 00:05:03,888 - Thank you. 113 00:05:03,988 --> 00:05:05,894 - Please say you've come to tell me it's lunch. 114 00:05:05,994 --> 00:05:07,532 - It's not lunch. (groaning) 115 00:05:07,632 --> 00:05:09,580 - How slow is today? 116 00:05:09,680 --> 00:05:11,392 - What are you in such a hurry to get home for? 117 00:05:11,392 --> 00:05:14,402 - It's Monday night, two for one cocktails at Harry Beans, 118 00:05:14,502 --> 00:05:15,797 why, what are you doing? 119 00:05:15,897 --> 00:05:17,898 Watching Master Chef in your slippers again? 120 00:05:17,898 --> 00:05:19,240 - Don't you start. 121 00:05:19,340 --> 00:05:21,652 Nemo said he thought I was the same age as Andy, 122 00:05:21,752 --> 00:05:23,119 do you believe it? - Nyeah. 123 00:05:23,219 --> 00:05:25,026 - Nyeah? What does nyeah mean? 124 00:05:25,126 --> 00:05:28,170 - (laughing) I'm only joking, don't tear your hair out. 125 00:05:28,270 --> 00:05:29,474 You'll need all you've got left. 126 00:05:29,474 --> 00:05:30,817 - Piss off. (laughing) 127 00:05:30,917 --> 00:05:32,573 - Thought I was losing my hair once. 128 00:05:32,673 --> 00:05:34,402 It's a funny story actually. 129 00:05:34,502 --> 00:05:38,299 I kept finding hairs on my pillow, I was mortified. 130 00:05:38,399 --> 00:05:41,487 Turns out, it was actually Mike's hair. 131 00:05:41,587 --> 00:05:43,735 Quite the relief I can tell you. - I bet. 132 00:05:43,835 --> 00:05:46,950 - You can take my wife but at least I've still got my hair. 133 00:05:47,050 --> 00:05:49,383 (chuckling) 134 00:05:51,223 --> 00:05:52,609 - So you gonna join us tonight? 135 00:05:52,709 --> 00:05:55,135 - What me out with the kids? Oh maybe. 136 00:05:55,235 --> 00:05:56,911 - Oh I'll make sure you're back in before 11. 137 00:05:56,911 --> 00:05:58,145 - Make it 10:30, you got a deal. 138 00:05:58,245 --> 00:05:59,512 - Oh that'll work. - Best get back. 139 00:05:59,512 --> 00:06:03,099 - Yeah. (laughing) 140 00:06:03,199 --> 00:06:04,283 - Oh excuse me young lady, 141 00:06:04,383 --> 00:06:06,037 can you tell me where the sausage rolls are? 142 00:06:06,037 --> 00:06:08,863 - Oh aisle 14 I think, love. 143 00:06:08,963 --> 00:06:11,392 I'd go and have a look and see if I were you. 144 00:06:11,492 --> 00:06:12,965 And if they're not there then that means 145 00:06:12,965 --> 00:06:15,226 I've got it wrong and they're probably somewhere else. 146 00:06:15,326 --> 00:06:17,170 (laughing) OK! 147 00:06:17,270 --> 00:06:20,451 Oh thank you for shopping at Valco. 148 00:06:20,551 --> 00:06:22,218 - It's me, Margaret. 149 00:06:25,199 --> 00:06:28,023 - I'm a competent, capable woman who believes in her abilities. 150 00:06:28,123 --> 00:06:29,639 I'm a com-- 151 00:06:29,739 --> 00:06:30,572 Oh Colin! 152 00:06:31,444 --> 00:06:33,463 You all right? - Hello Julie. 153 00:06:33,563 --> 00:06:35,211 I heard you were back. 154 00:06:35,311 --> 00:06:38,651 Gone for ages weren't you? What was it? 155 00:06:38,751 --> 00:06:40,177 - Exhaustion. 156 00:06:40,277 --> 00:06:41,277 - Seriously? 157 00:06:42,299 --> 00:06:44,474 What and they still paid you for that? 158 00:06:44,574 --> 00:06:45,930 Nice one, respect for that mate. 159 00:06:46,030 --> 00:06:49,566 - Oh, thanks mate. - So what were the symptoms? 160 00:06:49,666 --> 00:06:53,025 Did you feel really shit and a bit sad? 161 00:06:53,125 --> 00:06:55,145 - Well, sometimes. 162 00:06:55,245 --> 00:06:56,674 - Yeah see 'cause I've got that. 163 00:06:56,774 --> 00:06:59,159 No I have and I'm not saying you gave it to me but 164 00:06:59,259 --> 00:07:01,678 I've definitely got the shit bit and I feel a bit sad. 165 00:07:01,778 --> 00:07:04,171 - Sorry to hear that Colin. 166 00:07:04,271 --> 00:07:05,743 What brought it on, do you know? 167 00:07:05,843 --> 00:07:07,513 - Oh well I'd rather not talk about it 168 00:07:07,613 --> 00:07:09,550 in a minute to be honest. - Of course. 169 00:07:09,650 --> 00:07:13,656 - Just some total slag went and shat on my heart! 170 00:07:13,756 --> 00:07:15,846 - Yes, yes, that's awful. 171 00:07:15,946 --> 00:07:19,028 - So who do I speak to about getting put on the sick? 172 00:07:19,128 --> 00:07:21,616 - Maybe you just need a change of scenery! 173 00:07:21,716 --> 00:07:23,704 - Oh definitely. - What would you think 174 00:07:23,804 --> 00:07:27,246 about a little time on self-service? 175 00:07:27,346 --> 00:07:29,265 - All I've had is self-service lately 176 00:07:29,365 --> 00:07:30,451 and that's half the problem. 177 00:07:30,451 --> 00:07:32,272 And I just don't seem to have the imagination anymore 178 00:07:32,272 --> 00:07:33,751 it's like-- - Well, well, 179 00:07:33,851 --> 00:07:36,025 (laughing) this'll do you the world of good. 180 00:07:36,125 --> 00:07:38,958 Now you follow me now. - Following. 181 00:07:43,886 --> 00:07:46,136 - Hello, Leighton speaking. 182 00:07:50,796 --> 00:07:53,046 Tell China the deal is off. 183 00:07:54,899 --> 00:07:57,528 Hi, Leighton here, we need lots more crisps, 184 00:07:57,628 --> 00:08:01,384 all the flavours, fast. - Hello Gavin, is that you? 185 00:08:01,484 --> 00:08:02,317 Gavin? 186 00:08:04,848 --> 00:08:06,464 - All right, just put one on me shoulder yeah? 187 00:08:06,464 --> 00:08:09,895 - Is it hygienic? - Just do it will you? 188 00:08:09,995 --> 00:08:13,430 (sighing) All right, go on. 189 00:08:13,530 --> 00:08:16,120 Ooh, oh yeah that's a... 190 00:08:16,220 --> 00:08:17,053 It's... 191 00:08:17,918 --> 00:08:18,773 - Lincolnshire. 192 00:08:18,873 --> 00:08:20,249 - I was just about to say that! 193 00:08:20,349 --> 00:08:23,444 - Yeah of course you were. - Oh bloody hell. 194 00:08:23,544 --> 00:08:25,615 First day of your holidays and you're in already. 195 00:08:25,615 --> 00:08:26,803 - Just passing. 196 00:08:26,903 --> 00:08:28,357 - What the exact place we work? 197 00:08:28,457 --> 00:08:31,197 Come to check up on us haven't you? - Not a bit of it, but if anyone snaffles 198 00:08:31,197 --> 00:08:33,311 one of them mini scotch eggs I'll know about it. 199 00:08:33,411 --> 00:08:35,312 - No need to worry about this one, he's a vegetarian. 200 00:08:35,312 --> 00:08:37,689 - Vegetarian on the meat counter? 201 00:08:37,789 --> 00:08:39,693 - Hey you know why they're called molars? 202 00:08:39,793 --> 00:08:43,320 Don't you? From the latin molaris, meaning to grind, 203 00:08:43,420 --> 00:08:45,411 meat. - Yeah I know. 204 00:08:45,511 --> 00:08:46,822 That's what he said? - Did he? 205 00:08:46,922 --> 00:08:49,346 Ah, it's like looking in the mirror sometimes. 206 00:08:49,446 --> 00:08:50,963 - Yeah a big bendy circus one. 207 00:08:51,063 --> 00:08:52,618 - You keep telling yourself that son 208 00:08:52,618 --> 00:08:56,822 but the butcher's physique comes to all of us in the end. 209 00:08:56,922 --> 00:08:57,999 - Thank you. - See you now. 210 00:08:58,099 --> 00:09:00,713 - Hello ladies! (laughing) 211 00:09:00,813 --> 00:09:03,471 I just thought I'd pop over and let you both know that 212 00:09:03,571 --> 00:09:04,742 ♫ Tada 213 00:09:04,842 --> 00:09:06,592 I'm back! - Hey Julie. 214 00:09:07,952 --> 00:09:10,106 - Oh it's good to see you love. 215 00:09:10,206 --> 00:09:12,818 - Yeah are you feeling better? - Oh much, thank you. 216 00:09:12,918 --> 00:09:14,070 Back where I belong. 217 00:09:14,170 --> 00:09:16,292 - All that daytime telly driving you mental was it? 218 00:09:16,392 --> 00:09:17,225 Ow! What? 219 00:09:18,345 --> 00:09:21,370 - Well anyway, call me if you need me. 220 00:09:21,470 --> 00:09:23,916 (laughing) 221 00:09:24,016 --> 00:09:26,279 - I didn't mean mental mental, I just meant, 222 00:09:26,379 --> 00:09:29,361 you know, mental. - You and your gob. 223 00:09:29,461 --> 00:09:31,470 - Oh don't, I feel awful. - You're right though, 224 00:09:31,570 --> 00:09:32,584 she's mental. 225 00:09:32,684 --> 00:09:35,575 - Oh Julie, they throwin' you in at the deep end hey? 226 00:09:35,675 --> 00:09:37,648 First day back and you're a man down. 227 00:09:37,748 --> 00:09:38,493 - Sorry? 228 00:09:38,593 --> 00:09:40,623 - Me, I'm on holiday. - Oh, you've come in! 229 00:09:40,723 --> 00:09:42,577 Gosh, you're dedicated. - Well, 230 00:09:42,677 --> 00:09:44,036 there's a new kid on the counter 231 00:09:44,136 --> 00:09:45,785 so you've gotta ease him in gently 232 00:09:45,885 --> 00:09:47,992 like a fairground goldfish, keep him in the bag 233 00:09:48,092 --> 00:09:50,764 for a while before letting him loose in the tank or they'll die. 234 00:09:50,864 --> 00:09:54,664 - Oh actually, I'm glad I've seen you. 235 00:09:54,764 --> 00:09:58,347 I just wanted to ask, the day of my moment, 236 00:10:00,144 --> 00:10:03,208 did everybody see? - No, no, not at all, no. 237 00:10:03,308 --> 00:10:06,912 Just me, Margaret and Kieran and then Ian, 238 00:10:07,012 --> 00:10:09,345 Linda, Sue and I think Lisa. 239 00:10:10,976 --> 00:10:12,585 - And Gavin? - Yeah, yeah of course. 240 00:10:12,685 --> 00:10:13,949 Well that was unavoidable. 241 00:10:13,949 --> 00:10:16,218 I mean you were on the trolley first you know, 242 00:10:16,318 --> 00:10:19,179 so we had to wheel you through the back till Gavin came. 243 00:10:19,279 --> 00:10:21,834 We carried you out the store as quickly as we could but 244 00:10:21,934 --> 00:10:24,562 getting you into Gavin's car was quite a performance 245 00:10:24,662 --> 00:10:28,799 I can tell you, good job you had your big pants on. 246 00:10:28,899 --> 00:10:31,768 Julie, you all right love? 247 00:10:31,868 --> 00:10:32,747 - Yes. 248 00:10:32,847 --> 00:10:34,407 Yes I'm fine. - Good. 249 00:10:34,507 --> 00:10:40,005 For a moment I thought someone had let you out your bag too early. (chuckling) 250 00:10:41,768 --> 00:10:42,601 - Oof. 251 00:10:43,803 --> 00:10:46,603 (beeping) 252 00:10:46,703 --> 00:10:49,962 - [Machine] Unexpected item in bagging area. 253 00:10:50,062 --> 00:10:52,212 Unexpected item-- - Excuse me. 254 00:10:52,312 --> 00:10:53,355 Can you help please? 255 00:10:53,455 --> 00:10:56,354 - [Machine] Unexpected item in bagging area. 256 00:10:56,454 --> 00:10:59,038 - Yeah these things are shit, just take it. 257 00:10:59,138 --> 00:11:00,018 - You sure? - Yep, 258 00:11:00,118 --> 00:11:01,883 you've already bagged it, no I'd do it. 259 00:11:01,983 --> 00:11:03,418 - Oh sorry about this. 260 00:11:03,518 --> 00:11:07,351 If you could just take it to till four please. 261 00:11:08,236 --> 00:11:11,204 What's going on? Why didn't you call for help? 262 00:11:11,304 --> 00:11:13,919 - All of this is a cry for help Julie. 263 00:11:14,019 --> 00:11:16,965 My head's a mess, I can't think straight 264 00:11:17,065 --> 00:11:20,073 especially when I'm around her. 265 00:11:20,173 --> 00:11:21,590 It's Lisa? - Yeah. 266 00:11:24,409 --> 00:11:26,307 Maybe I should go home. - Oh no. 267 00:11:26,407 --> 00:11:27,760 I won't let you sink. 268 00:11:27,860 --> 00:11:31,102 Come on, let's just get you moved somewhere else. 269 00:11:31,202 --> 00:11:33,619 (vocalising) 270 00:11:38,513 --> 00:11:39,246 - What? 271 00:11:39,346 --> 00:11:40,530 - You just can't keep away can you? 272 00:11:40,530 --> 00:11:43,529 - Where else am I gonna find moussaka this quality for 1.80. 273 00:11:43,629 --> 00:11:44,603 - Oh yeah you're right. 274 00:11:44,703 --> 00:11:47,344 Sod the week away in Cypress, I'm staying in the canteen. 275 00:11:47,444 --> 00:11:49,127 - Hey, you haven't left that lad on his own 276 00:11:49,227 --> 00:11:50,469 at the meat counter? - Course not, 277 00:11:50,469 --> 00:11:51,719 I'm not stupid. 278 00:11:53,470 --> 00:11:55,428 He's on his lunch as well. 279 00:11:55,528 --> 00:11:56,888 - All right. 280 00:11:56,988 --> 00:11:58,599 - What, you mean it's... 281 00:11:58,699 --> 00:12:02,116 - Yeah, that's right Andy, it's unmanned. 282 00:12:06,261 --> 00:12:07,499 - But it's a shepherd's pie, 283 00:12:07,599 --> 00:12:10,744 so it should have some actual lamb in it. - Maybe you ate it too quickly. 284 00:12:10,844 --> 00:12:12,873 - I didn't even finish it, it was too horrible. 285 00:12:12,973 --> 00:12:14,784 - Maybe you didn't get to the meaty bit then. 286 00:12:14,784 --> 00:12:17,962 Do you wanna take it back and try again? 287 00:12:18,062 --> 00:12:19,989 - I'll just take the refund, thanks. 288 00:12:20,089 --> 00:12:21,422 - Suit yourself. 289 00:12:26,515 --> 00:12:29,240 - Can you tell Gavin I've put me rot request on there? 290 00:12:29,340 --> 00:12:30,332 - Yeah. 291 00:12:30,432 --> 00:12:32,754 - What are you doing? - Helping Gavin with some paperwork. 292 00:12:32,854 --> 00:12:34,044 - Mm. - I'm his right hand man 293 00:12:34,144 --> 00:12:37,777 for the day which is nice 'cause I'm usually left handed. 294 00:12:37,877 --> 00:12:39,294 - Oh no Leighton. 295 00:12:40,665 --> 00:12:42,430 What have yo done? 296 00:12:42,530 --> 00:12:45,127 You've copied it all upside down, look! 297 00:12:45,227 --> 00:12:46,060 - No! 298 00:12:46,915 --> 00:12:47,832 No, no, no! 299 00:12:48,819 --> 00:12:51,038 - Gavin'll go mental when he sees that. 300 00:12:51,138 --> 00:12:51,962 I better see what 301 00:12:52,062 --> 00:12:54,072 Sorry You're Leaving cards we got in stock. 302 00:12:54,172 --> 00:12:55,005 See yah. 303 00:12:57,630 --> 00:12:59,155 (cackling) 304 00:12:59,255 --> 00:13:00,756 - Sorry about that. - Stop apologising, 305 00:13:00,756 --> 00:13:02,677 I don't mind that I bought your lunch, really. 306 00:13:02,677 --> 00:13:03,830 - It's just weird 'cause I know 307 00:13:03,830 --> 00:13:05,703 there's definitely money in my account, so sorry. 308 00:13:05,703 --> 00:13:07,271 - Stop apologising. 309 00:13:07,371 --> 00:13:08,431 - Sorry, sorry. 310 00:13:08,531 --> 00:13:10,881 - All right mate, you two planning this big night on the town then? 311 00:13:10,881 --> 00:13:11,881 - Big night? 312 00:13:13,345 --> 00:13:15,923 - I just meant, what you doing tonight? 313 00:13:16,023 --> 00:13:19,487 - Not much, just a quiet night in probably. 314 00:13:19,587 --> 00:13:20,591 Whatever you fancy. 315 00:13:20,691 --> 00:13:22,442 - Well I don't really know yet so... 316 00:13:22,542 --> 00:13:23,597 - Cool beans. 317 00:13:23,697 --> 00:13:25,886 Well I'll leave you two then. 318 00:13:25,986 --> 00:13:26,819 - Oh. 319 00:13:28,103 --> 00:13:29,150 - See you. 320 00:13:29,250 --> 00:13:30,250 - Bye. - Bye. 321 00:13:31,607 --> 00:13:34,075 - Sorry did I just put my foot in it? - No, no it's fine. 322 00:13:34,175 --> 00:13:38,325 How wrong would it be to end a relationship by text? 323 00:13:38,425 --> 00:13:40,886 - Not cool beans. - Oh don't! 324 00:13:40,986 --> 00:13:43,538 It's driving me mental! 325 00:13:43,638 --> 00:13:46,308 Maybe I'll call him or email him. 326 00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:47,827 - Yeah well at least no one could accuse you 327 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,612 of chicken can they? 328 00:13:49,712 --> 00:13:51,268 (clucking) 329 00:13:51,368 --> 00:13:54,201 - Oh shut up! - Shit, pick that up. 330 00:13:55,740 --> 00:13:57,581 - Know what, the more that I think about it, 331 00:13:57,681 --> 00:14:01,254 the more that I reckon, there's no way that a shepherd would eat lamb, no way. 332 00:14:01,354 --> 00:14:02,552 He's with 'em all day. 333 00:14:02,652 --> 00:14:04,317 It'd be like me eating you. 334 00:14:04,417 --> 00:14:06,126 - (laughing) That sounded wrong. 335 00:14:06,226 --> 00:14:08,489 - (laughing) It does! 336 00:14:08,589 --> 00:14:12,256 - (laughing) You big lezzo! 337 00:14:14,563 --> 00:14:17,950 - Right, so Colin, we've said no to stacking, 338 00:14:18,050 --> 00:14:21,392 no to self-service, how about the loading bay? 339 00:14:21,492 --> 00:14:23,777 I mean surely there can't remind you of Lisa? 340 00:14:23,877 --> 00:14:26,726 - There more than anywhere. - Why? 341 00:14:26,826 --> 00:14:29,647 - We did it on the cages, we did it behind the wheelie bins, 342 00:14:29,747 --> 00:14:31,026 we did it in the wheelie bins. 343 00:14:31,026 --> 00:14:32,924 And as for that forklift truck, to be honest, 344 00:14:33,024 --> 00:14:34,723 I'm surprised it still works. 345 00:14:34,823 --> 00:14:35,801 - Julie! 346 00:14:35,901 --> 00:14:38,277 Julie, I really need to talk to you. - Now hang on a minute Leighton. 347 00:14:38,277 --> 00:14:40,525 So Colin, are you telling me that you've had 348 00:14:40,625 --> 00:14:44,792 sexual relations on site with a fellow member of staff 349 00:14:46,189 --> 00:14:47,852 on several occasions? 350 00:14:47,952 --> 00:14:49,666 - Yeah, loads of occasions. 351 00:14:49,766 --> 00:14:51,333 - Excuse me Julie, can I have a word please? 352 00:14:51,333 --> 00:14:53,527 - Oh Andy, don't you have a home to go to? 353 00:14:53,627 --> 00:14:55,038 - This is an emergency Julie, 354 00:14:55,138 --> 00:14:57,245 there is no one on the meat counter, no one. 355 00:14:57,345 --> 00:14:58,918 - And how is that an emergency? 356 00:14:59,018 --> 00:15:00,596 - People might want meat. 357 00:15:00,696 --> 00:15:01,928 - Thank you for your information 358 00:15:01,928 --> 00:15:03,564 and I'll deal with it shortly. - How Julie? 359 00:15:03,564 --> 00:15:04,891 - I said I'll deal with it! 360 00:15:04,991 --> 00:15:05,769 - You all right? 361 00:15:05,869 --> 00:15:07,525 You're not having another one of your-- 362 00:15:07,625 --> 00:15:09,309 - I'm not! - Can Julie Cook 363 00:15:09,409 --> 00:15:11,353 please come to customer service please. 364 00:15:11,453 --> 00:15:13,126 - Bloody hell! - Julie Cook. 365 00:15:13,226 --> 00:15:14,527 - Julie... - I'm fine! 366 00:15:14,627 --> 00:15:16,617 I'm totally fine! 367 00:15:16,717 --> 00:15:18,300 Get out of the way! 368 00:15:19,464 --> 00:15:21,797 (whistling) 369 00:15:26,643 --> 00:15:29,417 Competent capable woman who believes in her abilities. 370 00:15:29,517 --> 00:15:30,780 I'm a competent capable woman 371 00:15:30,780 --> 00:15:32,996 who believes in her abilities. (deeply inhaling) 372 00:15:33,096 --> 00:15:36,771 I'm a competent capable woman who believes in her abilities. 373 00:15:36,871 --> 00:15:38,954 (crying) 374 00:15:39,813 --> 00:15:41,189 - Hello Margaret love. 375 00:15:41,289 --> 00:15:43,689 - Hello Andy, pass me these scissors will you? 376 00:15:43,789 --> 00:15:46,431 I've got to restock me patty, 'cause it's gone green again. 377 00:15:46,531 --> 00:15:48,374 - Can't I'm not... 378 00:15:48,474 --> 00:15:49,557 Oh all right. 379 00:15:51,844 --> 00:15:53,319 - Thanks love. 380 00:15:53,419 --> 00:15:54,985 - Can I get six of them Cumberland sausages please? 381 00:15:54,985 --> 00:15:57,278 - Yes certainly sir, you know they go beautifully with-- 382 00:15:57,278 --> 00:15:58,401 (sighing) 383 00:15:58,501 --> 00:16:00,412 - I knew it, you just couldn't resist could you? 384 00:16:00,412 --> 00:16:03,037 - It's more than a butcher can take seeing an empty stand. 385 00:16:03,137 --> 00:16:05,274 - Go on get off and stop checking on us, we're fine. 386 00:16:05,374 --> 00:16:08,953 You're supposed to be on your holiday. - All right I'm gone, I'm gone. 387 00:16:09,053 --> 00:16:10,722 - What a loser. - Hey, less of that. 388 00:16:10,822 --> 00:16:14,443 You're haven't earned the right to call that man a loser. 389 00:16:14,543 --> 00:16:16,283 Get back to work. 390 00:16:16,383 --> 00:16:18,078 - I'm a competent capable woman 391 00:16:18,178 --> 00:16:22,345 who believes in her abilities. (crying) 392 00:16:23,796 --> 00:16:26,213 (exclaiming) 393 00:16:27,887 --> 00:16:29,634 (knocking) Yes! 394 00:16:29,734 --> 00:16:31,311 (knocking) 395 00:16:31,411 --> 00:16:35,161 (scoffing) Come in Leighton. 396 00:16:37,202 --> 00:16:39,042 - Mum said I should just come straight out and tell you 397 00:16:39,042 --> 00:16:40,592 because at least then I would be being honest 398 00:16:40,592 --> 00:16:42,547 and you couldn't be cross at me for two things. 399 00:16:42,647 --> 00:16:44,288 The thing that I did, and the fact that 400 00:16:44,388 --> 00:16:47,440 I didn't tell you about the thing I did. - Well what have you done? 401 00:16:47,540 --> 00:16:49,561 - Gavin's memos. 402 00:16:49,661 --> 00:16:52,079 I've accidentally copied them upside down. 403 00:16:52,179 --> 00:16:55,021 - Well just turn it the other way, right? 404 00:16:55,121 --> 00:16:55,954 - Oh yeah! 405 00:16:57,151 --> 00:16:58,548 Yeah, you could do that! 406 00:16:58,648 --> 00:17:00,688 Hey that's brilliant! 407 00:17:00,788 --> 00:17:02,958 I guess you could just turn the photocopier around as well. 408 00:17:02,958 --> 00:17:04,049 - No! 409 00:17:04,149 --> 00:17:05,600 You've got 15 minutes. 410 00:17:05,700 --> 00:17:08,025 Get this lot out of the bin and start stuffing. 411 00:17:08,125 --> 00:17:12,658 - Yes, yeah I can do this. - You can, you can Leighton. 412 00:17:12,758 --> 00:17:16,591 - I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. 413 00:17:21,597 --> 00:17:24,149 - Right, Colin, I think you-- - Should go home. 414 00:17:24,249 --> 00:17:27,131 - Are a work shite, bone idle piss taker. 415 00:17:27,231 --> 00:17:29,140 Now get on with your work and stop moaning. 416 00:17:29,240 --> 00:17:30,717 - Well I've got a broken heart! 417 00:17:30,817 --> 00:17:32,877 - Oh get over it! 418 00:17:32,977 --> 00:17:35,321 No one wants to climb on a wet blanket! 419 00:17:35,421 --> 00:17:37,477 Grow a pair and she might be interested. 420 00:17:37,577 --> 00:17:39,744 (banging) 421 00:17:42,031 --> 00:17:44,607 (overlapping chatting) What appears to be the problem here? 422 00:17:44,607 --> 00:17:46,008 - They weren't happy with their purchases. 423 00:17:46,008 --> 00:17:48,093 - I said I wanted to speak to someone senior. 424 00:17:48,193 --> 00:17:49,728 - You are, so how can I help you? 425 00:17:49,828 --> 00:17:51,431 - These No Nonsense dinners are shit. 426 00:17:51,531 --> 00:17:52,573 - Oh really? 427 00:17:52,673 --> 00:17:54,046 Is the fact that it was 40 P? 428 00:17:54,146 --> 00:17:56,764 The fact that it looks like dog food and smells worse? 429 00:17:56,864 --> 00:17:57,774 - You taking the piss? 430 00:17:57,874 --> 00:17:59,883 - No I'm not, now if you're unhappy with the product 431 00:17:59,883 --> 00:18:04,110 then we'll give you your money back. In fact, I will give you the money. 432 00:18:04,210 --> 00:18:08,724 All of you, here, have it, because you get what you pay for. 433 00:18:08,824 --> 00:18:10,696 And there's a lot to be said for nonsense! 434 00:18:10,796 --> 00:18:14,454 It's nonsense that sets us apart from the animals hey Sue? 435 00:18:14,554 --> 00:18:16,390 (laughing) I love nonsense! 436 00:18:16,490 --> 00:18:18,257 There, I've said it, and if you don't like it 437 00:18:18,357 --> 00:18:20,054 don't buy it, end of. 438 00:18:20,154 --> 00:18:21,571 Bin please Linda. 439 00:18:25,966 --> 00:18:26,799 - Julie! 440 00:18:27,826 --> 00:18:31,731 - Oh Gavin, I'm sorry I've let you down haven't I? 441 00:18:31,831 --> 00:18:33,100 I know what you're thinking, 442 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,454 you're thinking I'm not ready aren't you? 443 00:18:35,554 --> 00:18:36,816 - I wasn't thinking that at all. 444 00:18:36,916 --> 00:18:39,263 I was actually thinking it's really good 445 00:18:39,363 --> 00:18:41,170 to have you back Julie. 446 00:18:41,270 --> 00:18:42,187 - Oh Gavin! 447 00:18:44,553 --> 00:18:46,255 - Let me tell you what's happening in Kendall. 448 00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:48,537 - Hiya babe, it's me. 449 00:18:48,637 --> 00:18:50,563 Listen, a few of us are going for a drink 450 00:18:50,663 --> 00:18:54,124 after work tonight so, no, no, no, you're right 451 00:18:54,224 --> 00:18:56,141 that's what I'm saying. 452 00:18:58,882 --> 00:19:01,336 All right fine, suit yourself, 453 00:19:01,436 --> 00:19:03,591 well can I go or not? 454 00:19:03,691 --> 00:19:04,858 No, all right. 455 00:19:06,165 --> 00:19:08,840 Actually you know what? I am gonna go because, 456 00:19:08,940 --> 00:19:12,666 well because I want to, so just deal with it, yeah? 457 00:19:12,766 --> 00:19:14,536 Oh, oh, oh, can you record Master Chef for me? 458 00:19:14,636 --> 00:19:17,969 Emma, Emma... (sighing) 459 00:19:20,604 --> 00:19:22,956 - Sorry, sorry, sorry. 460 00:19:23,056 --> 00:19:24,261 - I'll be ready in five. 461 00:19:24,361 --> 00:19:25,865 - Oh are you actually coming? - Oh yeah, 462 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:28,200 saw the future today and it was not pretty. 463 00:19:28,300 --> 00:19:29,863 - Night out on the town is it? 464 00:19:29,963 --> 00:19:30,894 Great fun. 465 00:19:30,994 --> 00:19:32,672 Give you my best to Stu for me. 466 00:19:32,772 --> 00:19:34,736 Hooked yourself a cracker there Katie. 467 00:19:34,836 --> 00:19:36,978 - Yeah he is a good lad. - Have to say, 468 00:19:37,078 --> 00:19:39,545 Stu reminds me a lot of myself in my younger days. 469 00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:41,793 - Does he? - Absolutely. 470 00:19:41,893 --> 00:19:43,921 Oh to be young and in love again. 471 00:19:44,021 --> 00:19:45,596 Wind in your hair, 472 00:19:45,696 --> 00:19:47,946 adequate erectile function. 473 00:19:48,894 --> 00:19:51,227 What a lucky guy he is, hmm. 474 00:19:53,983 --> 00:19:55,075 - I'll meet you outside. 475 00:19:55,175 --> 00:19:58,105 - Is it all right if I meet you lot there? 476 00:19:58,205 --> 00:20:00,889 It's just, there's something I need to do first, 477 00:20:00,989 --> 00:20:02,183 face to face. 478 00:20:02,283 --> 00:20:04,221 - Oh yeah, yeah, of course yeah. 479 00:20:04,321 --> 00:20:05,898 Yeah I'll see you later. 480 00:20:05,998 --> 00:20:08,294 - Yeah, see you later. 481 00:20:08,394 --> 00:20:09,635 - Good luck. 482 00:20:09,735 --> 00:20:10,568 - Thanks. 483 00:20:14,490 --> 00:20:15,852 - You in tomorrow? 484 00:20:15,952 --> 00:20:18,205 - Of course I'm in tomorrow, I'm always in. 485 00:20:18,305 --> 00:20:21,544 - All right, just making conversation. - Why are you having off or something? 486 00:20:21,644 --> 00:20:22,734 - No I'm in tomorrow. 487 00:20:22,834 --> 00:20:24,533 - Right, glad we cleared that one up then. 488 00:20:24,633 --> 00:20:26,096 - Yeah, see you tomorrow. - Hey Linda 489 00:20:26,196 --> 00:20:29,574 you forgot something, your dinner! (laughing) 490 00:20:29,674 --> 00:20:31,864 - (imitating hurling) Don't want it. (laughing) 491 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:35,264 It's rank! (laughing) 492 00:20:35,364 --> 00:20:37,588 - Bloody hell, how are you still here? 493 00:20:37,688 --> 00:20:39,335 - I'm a very thorough shopper Kieran, 494 00:20:39,435 --> 00:20:41,175 it's my hunter gatherer instincts. 495 00:20:41,275 --> 00:20:43,692 I like to stalk my prey before I pounce. 496 00:20:43,792 --> 00:20:46,145 - On your Waggon Wheels an Nivea Cooling Balm? 497 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:47,861 - Don't suppose you fancy a pint? 498 00:20:47,961 --> 00:20:50,929 - Oh go on then, anything to get you out of this place. 499 00:20:51,029 --> 00:20:53,749 - They couldn't take the door off so they had to go in over the top. 500 00:20:53,849 --> 00:20:55,271 - Oh sorry! 501 00:20:55,371 --> 00:20:58,226 How much Tabboo had she had? - A whole crate! 502 00:20:58,326 --> 00:21:00,993 - (gasping) No! 503 00:21:02,922 --> 00:21:05,019 - Go on, admit it. - Admit what? 504 00:21:05,119 --> 00:21:06,452 - You missed me? - Missed you? 505 00:21:06,552 --> 00:21:08,563 I've seen you more today than when you're actually working. 506 00:21:08,563 --> 00:21:10,872 - Say no more, understood. - Understood what? 507 00:21:10,972 --> 00:21:12,962 - I caught you playing my sausage game earlier, 508 00:21:13,062 --> 00:21:14,482 tells me all I need to know. 509 00:21:14,582 --> 00:21:15,769 - Can you keep your voice down? 510 00:21:15,769 --> 00:21:17,782 It's just that sounds really weird out of context. 511 00:21:17,782 --> 00:21:19,032 - You were though weren't you? 512 00:21:19,132 --> 00:21:21,675 - That don't mean I missed you. - Those actions speak 1000 words, 513 00:21:21,775 --> 00:21:23,085 I know what you were saying. - What? 514 00:21:23,085 --> 00:21:24,716 - Oh let's not spoil the moment. 515 00:21:24,816 --> 00:21:25,697 - What? 516 00:21:25,797 --> 00:21:26,922 - You love me. 517 00:21:27,022 --> 00:21:29,694 - Shut up. - I know, I've always known. 518 00:21:29,794 --> 00:21:31,459 - How is it possible for you to be more annoying 519 00:21:31,459 --> 00:21:34,528 on your day off than when you're in work? - Give it a cuddle. 520 00:21:34,628 --> 00:21:38,245 Come back, come here, give us a cuddle! (laughing) 521 00:21:38,345 --> 00:21:41,178 (mid tempo music) 522 00:22:06,538 --> 00:22:10,371 (banging, thumping, grunting)