1 00:00:01,620 --> 00:00:03,563 - Can she stop that now? - If you can get it anywhere cheaper, 2 00:00:03,563 --> 00:00:06,026 I'll come around and cook it myself. - Red hot deals. 3 00:00:06,126 --> 00:00:08,420 - We've got offers on everything from booze to biscuits. 4 00:00:08,420 --> 00:00:09,596 - Loads of two-for-ones. 5 00:00:09,696 --> 00:00:11,354 - Service with a smile. 6 00:00:11,454 --> 00:00:12,262 (laughing) 7 00:00:12,362 --> 00:00:14,181 - We have fresh produce. - Delivered daily. 8 00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:16,156 - Don't forget the Valco tick. - That way. 9 00:00:16,256 --> 00:00:17,089 - Am I getting paid for this? 10 00:00:17,089 --> 00:00:17,922 - Valco. - I wasn't ready. 11 00:00:17,922 --> 00:00:19,488 - Weren't you ready? (laughing) 12 00:00:19,588 --> 00:00:20,879 - Valco, serves you right! 13 00:00:20,979 --> 00:00:22,779 - [All] Valco, serves you right! 14 00:00:22,879 --> 00:00:25,612 (upbeat happy music) 15 00:00:25,712 --> 00:00:26,545 - 999841. 16 00:00:28,095 --> 00:00:28,828 99842. 17 00:00:28,928 --> 00:00:29,661 99843. 18 00:00:29,761 --> 00:00:31,374 - I still can't believe it. 19 00:00:31,474 --> 00:00:34,194 Have we really almost had one million customers? 20 00:00:34,294 --> 00:00:35,335 - Well in truth no. 21 00:00:35,435 --> 00:00:38,107 It's uh, only a million since the new till software 22 00:00:38,207 --> 00:00:40,624 but that's not really as catchy as the millionth customer. 23 00:00:40,624 --> 00:00:43,699 Still it is an enormous occasion. 24 00:00:43,799 --> 00:00:44,632 - 999845. 25 00:00:45,479 --> 00:00:46,212 999-- 26 00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:48,287 - Look at us two stood under this. 27 00:00:48,387 --> 00:00:50,386 Anyone passing would think we were getting married. 28 00:00:50,386 --> 00:00:52,717 - Ha, yes I see what you mean. If anyone here knows of any good 29 00:00:52,717 --> 00:00:55,377 reason why these two should not be married, then speak now. 30 00:00:55,477 --> 00:00:57,229 - Can you imagine? 31 00:00:57,329 --> 00:00:58,466 - Just, just just, 32 00:00:58,566 --> 00:01:00,515 stop me if you think I'm mad. 33 00:01:00,615 --> 00:01:01,348 - Yes? 34 00:01:01,448 --> 00:01:03,054 - Well I was thinking, you know 35 00:01:03,154 --> 00:01:05,593 since it's the millionth customer, 36 00:01:05,693 --> 00:01:07,372 what if all the staff said "Thanks 37 00:01:07,472 --> 00:01:10,512 a million for shopping at Valco." 38 00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:14,106 - Oh, (laughing) Gavin Strong, where do you come 39 00:01:14,206 --> 00:01:15,235 up with this stuff? 40 00:01:15,335 --> 00:01:17,065 - Actually it came to me in a dream last night. 41 00:01:17,065 --> 00:01:18,941 - Even when you're asleep you're still the best manager in the world. 42 00:01:18,941 --> 00:01:19,674 (phone ringing) 43 00:01:19,774 --> 00:01:21,257 - Oh. 44 00:01:21,357 --> 00:01:22,940 Gavin Strong speaking. 45 00:01:23,040 --> 00:01:24,078 (phone ringing) 46 00:01:24,178 --> 00:01:26,960 Oh, would you believe it? 47 00:01:27,060 --> 00:01:30,933 I've only gone and tried to answer my personal phone instead of my work one. 48 00:01:31,033 --> 00:01:32,063 (laughing) 49 00:01:32,163 --> 00:01:34,061 You couldn't make it up. 50 00:01:34,161 --> 00:01:35,729 (laughing) 51 00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:38,784 - Stop it, you've got me going now. 52 00:01:38,884 --> 00:01:40,464 - It's Martin Snell of all people! 53 00:01:40,564 --> 00:01:42,897 (laughing) 54 00:01:44,223 --> 00:01:45,334 Come on, Gavin. 55 00:01:45,434 --> 00:01:46,167 Be serious. 56 00:01:46,267 --> 00:01:49,184 Hello? (laughing) 57 00:01:50,350 --> 00:01:52,902 I'll have to ring him back. 58 00:01:53,002 --> 00:01:55,269 - Oh-ho, come off it. 59 00:01:55,369 --> 00:01:56,398 What have you come as? 60 00:01:56,498 --> 00:01:57,305 - I'm the Valco tick. 61 00:01:57,405 --> 00:02:00,789 - The Val, you look like the Valco prick. 62 00:02:00,889 --> 00:02:01,942 I'm just joking mate. 63 00:02:02,042 --> 00:02:03,169 You look, you look great. 64 00:02:03,269 --> 00:02:04,002 - Oh thanks. 65 00:02:04,102 --> 00:02:04,935 - You do. 66 00:02:06,187 --> 00:02:08,724 (balloon smacks) 67 00:02:08,824 --> 00:02:10,331 - Morning Andy. 68 00:02:10,431 --> 00:02:12,895 - Oh, hey, how was the anniversary meal? 69 00:02:12,995 --> 00:02:14,330 Stinking hangover? 70 00:02:14,430 --> 00:02:16,245 - Well, I did have a glass or two of champagne. 71 00:02:16,245 --> 00:02:17,887 I hope I'm not over the limit. 72 00:02:17,987 --> 00:02:19,789 - You can't be drunk in charge of a deli. 73 00:02:19,889 --> 00:02:21,997 - So, how are you feeling? 74 00:02:22,097 --> 00:02:23,726 You must be very sad? 75 00:02:23,826 --> 00:02:25,296 Your last ever day at Valco. 76 00:02:25,396 --> 00:02:27,418 - Nah, first day of the rest of me life. 77 00:02:27,518 --> 00:02:28,670 - Really? 78 00:02:28,770 --> 00:02:30,669 Oh, doctors, eh? 79 00:02:30,769 --> 00:02:32,656 Ooh, they're very specific these days. 80 00:02:32,756 --> 00:02:34,509 - No, it's just a saying. 81 00:02:34,609 --> 00:02:35,527 You alright, mate? 82 00:02:35,627 --> 00:02:36,360 - Yeah, fine. 83 00:02:36,460 --> 00:02:39,599 - Have you, uh, have you spoken to her? 84 00:02:39,699 --> 00:02:41,930 - Everything all right Kieran? - Yeah. 85 00:02:42,030 --> 00:02:43,696 Why shouldn't it be? What have you heard? 86 00:02:43,696 --> 00:02:44,874 - Nothing. 87 00:02:44,974 --> 00:02:45,807 But, you know what they 88 00:02:45,807 --> 00:02:47,793 say, the first day of the rest of your life. 89 00:02:47,893 --> 00:02:50,283 - Not the right context, Margaret. 90 00:02:50,383 --> 00:02:52,883 I didn't say anything, honest. 91 00:02:56,198 --> 00:02:58,220 - I still can't believe it's a trolley dash. 92 00:02:58,320 --> 00:03:01,495 - Yes, yes, I might have to make a few aisles off limits. 93 00:03:01,595 --> 00:03:03,557 Don't want the millionth customer's photo in the paper with 94 00:03:03,557 --> 00:03:06,132 a trolley full of printer cartridges. Um, oh, by the way, 95 00:03:06,232 --> 00:03:07,334 are you be going to Andy's 96 00:03:07,434 --> 00:03:09,186 leaving drinks after work tonight? 97 00:03:09,286 --> 00:03:11,223 - Oh yes, I will. 98 00:03:11,323 --> 00:03:12,056 Are you? 99 00:03:12,156 --> 00:03:12,889 - Yes. 100 00:03:12,989 --> 00:03:14,670 In fact, um, I was hoping that you 101 00:03:14,770 --> 00:03:17,307 might like to come for dinner, um, beforehand? 102 00:03:17,407 --> 00:03:18,240 - Dinner? 103 00:03:19,235 --> 00:03:20,068 Oh Gavin. 104 00:03:21,221 --> 00:03:21,954 I don't, 105 00:03:22,054 --> 00:03:23,917 I don't know what to say. 106 00:03:24,017 --> 00:03:26,038 - Well, please say yes. 107 00:03:26,138 --> 00:03:27,080 - Yes. 108 00:03:27,180 --> 00:03:29,055 A thousand times yes! 109 00:03:29,155 --> 00:03:29,888 - Great. 110 00:03:29,988 --> 00:03:32,661 Well, um, that's a date then. 111 00:03:32,761 --> 00:03:35,175 (giggling) 112 00:03:35,275 --> 00:03:37,702 - Thanks a million for shopping at Valco. 113 00:03:37,802 --> 00:03:40,634 - Ha, you're not really saying that crap are ya? 114 00:03:40,734 --> 00:03:41,677 I'm not. 115 00:03:41,777 --> 00:03:44,027 Uh, give us twenty L and B. 116 00:03:47,799 --> 00:03:49,871 Oh, he's looking fit today. 117 00:03:49,971 --> 00:03:51,318 - How are things with you two? 118 00:03:51,418 --> 00:03:52,606 - Finished. 119 00:03:52,706 --> 00:03:56,765 He got jealous 'cause I kept shagging other blokes, so, I had to call it off. 120 00:03:56,865 --> 00:03:57,758 - Men, eh? 121 00:03:57,858 --> 00:03:59,685 They get jealous over the littlest of things. 122 00:03:59,685 --> 00:04:01,327 - Mm, I know. 123 00:04:01,427 --> 00:04:03,768 I kinda miss him though. 124 00:04:03,868 --> 00:04:07,533 He used to call me his bowling ball. 125 00:04:07,633 --> 00:04:08,466 Mm, mm. 126 00:04:09,633 --> 00:04:11,968 - So, can I interrupt you there ladies? - Yeah, please. 127 00:04:12,068 --> 00:04:14,109 - Bit of an emergency, I need someone presentable to be 128 00:04:14,109 --> 00:04:16,023 the face of the store for the millionth customer. 129 00:04:16,023 --> 00:04:17,893 - How much do I get paid for it? 130 00:04:17,993 --> 00:04:19,243 - Oh, uh, Lisa? 131 00:04:21,382 --> 00:04:22,215 It's actually more of an 132 00:04:22,215 --> 00:04:24,279 honour, but I was hoping that Katie here might-- 133 00:04:24,379 --> 00:04:25,991 - What, don't you think I'm pretty enough? 134 00:04:26,091 --> 00:04:26,948 - Um. 135 00:04:27,048 --> 00:04:28,310 Clearly you're, 136 00:04:28,410 --> 00:04:29,584 well you're very, very. 137 00:04:29,684 --> 00:04:31,259 - So you would then? 138 00:04:31,359 --> 00:04:32,192 - Oh, uh. 139 00:04:33,130 --> 00:04:34,633 - 'Cause that, that could be seen as 140 00:04:34,733 --> 00:04:36,105 sexual harassment. 141 00:04:36,205 --> 00:04:37,038 Alright. 142 00:04:40,363 --> 00:04:42,287 - So, will you do it then, Katie? 143 00:04:42,387 --> 00:04:43,597 - Do I have to? 144 00:04:43,697 --> 00:04:45,240 - 999962. 145 00:04:45,340 --> 00:04:46,173 999963. 146 00:04:47,425 --> 00:04:49,864 - It says here that 10,015 147 00:04:49,964 --> 00:04:51,312 women in Britain had 148 00:04:51,412 --> 00:04:53,218 breast implants last year. 149 00:04:53,318 --> 00:04:54,676 - 999964. 150 00:04:54,776 --> 00:04:55,609 - 10,015. 151 00:04:56,526 --> 00:04:59,675 That's 20,030 individual breasts. 152 00:04:59,775 --> 00:05:02,116 - Please stop saying numbers. 999963, 153 00:05:02,216 --> 00:05:02,951 oh, oh, five. 154 00:05:03,051 --> 00:05:04,901 - Which is 3,000 up on the 2008 155 00:05:05,001 --> 00:05:06,334 figure of 8,500. 156 00:05:08,503 --> 00:05:09,336 - 999. 157 00:05:10,456 --> 00:05:11,289 No. 158 00:05:15,434 --> 00:05:16,267 Oh wait. 159 00:05:17,604 --> 00:05:18,437 999966! 160 00:05:21,370 --> 00:05:22,203 Yes. 161 00:05:23,921 --> 00:05:26,088 - There you go sir, enjoy. 162 00:05:27,797 --> 00:05:29,451 You're welcome. 163 00:05:29,551 --> 00:05:32,483 I'll be glad when I get out of this place and in to a proper butcher's shop. 164 00:05:32,483 --> 00:05:35,266 I won't get customers like that at Starks Farm Foods. 165 00:05:35,366 --> 00:05:36,099 - You might. 166 00:05:36,199 --> 00:05:37,819 - Oh no, they're a better class of customer. 167 00:05:37,819 --> 00:05:39,573 They're there for the meat and nothing else. 168 00:05:39,573 --> 00:05:40,528 Not washing powder. 169 00:05:40,628 --> 00:05:41,669 Not Ribena. 170 00:05:41,769 --> 00:05:42,810 Just meat. 171 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:45,864 - Have you got a bolt gun out the back or anything I can shoot myself with? 172 00:05:45,964 --> 00:05:47,054 - What's the matter? 173 00:05:47,154 --> 00:05:48,170 - Millionth customer. 174 00:05:48,270 --> 00:05:49,188 Muggins here has 175 00:05:49,288 --> 00:05:51,004 to shake hands with whoever it is. 176 00:05:51,104 --> 00:05:53,275 Picture in the paper and everything, it's not fair. 177 00:05:53,275 --> 00:05:54,905 - This is exactly the kind of thing 178 00:05:55,005 --> 00:05:56,622 that makes me glad I'm leaving. 179 00:05:56,722 --> 00:05:59,358 I should be out there, shaking hands, getting in the local rag. 180 00:05:59,458 --> 00:06:00,804 I'm the face of this place. 181 00:06:00,904 --> 00:06:03,797 - Maybe you should ask Gavin, what do you reckon Kieran? (laughing) 182 00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:04,730 - Yeah. 183 00:06:06,289 --> 00:06:07,354 - Are you alright? 184 00:06:07,454 --> 00:06:08,187 - What? 185 00:06:08,287 --> 00:06:09,476 Yeah, yeah, I'm fine. 186 00:06:09,576 --> 00:06:12,347 - Is everything alright at home? - Sort of. 187 00:06:12,447 --> 00:06:14,741 Actually you know what, I don't really want to talk about it. 188 00:06:14,741 --> 00:06:15,474 - Oh, right. 189 00:06:15,574 --> 00:06:16,307 Sorry. 190 00:06:16,407 --> 00:06:17,722 - Anyway, hadn't you better go and practise your handshake? 191 00:06:17,722 --> 00:06:18,946 It's a pretty big job. 192 00:06:19,046 --> 00:06:19,779 - Ha, ha. 193 00:06:19,879 --> 00:06:20,958 Funny Kieran. 194 00:06:21,058 --> 00:06:23,399 - Everyone knows I've got the best handshake here. 195 00:06:23,499 --> 00:06:24,990 Everyone. 196 00:06:25,090 --> 00:06:25,823 - 999981. 197 00:06:25,923 --> 00:06:26,756 999982. 198 00:06:27,682 --> 00:06:30,561 - I think we might have found Leighton's special skill. 199 00:06:30,661 --> 00:06:34,303 I don't know how he tells them apart, I had that one down as a photo finish. 200 00:06:34,403 --> 00:06:35,934 - Do I have to wear this sash? 201 00:06:36,034 --> 00:06:37,737 - Katie you should be proud. 202 00:06:37,837 --> 00:06:40,205 Of all the staff under this roof, Gavin thought that you were 203 00:06:40,205 --> 00:06:41,650 the most presentable. 204 00:06:41,750 --> 00:06:43,723 Obviously excluding myself. 205 00:06:43,823 --> 00:06:45,306 - Right, now, Katie, let's just run 206 00:06:45,406 --> 00:06:46,888 you by your duties again, 207 00:06:46,988 --> 00:06:48,888 so millionth customer comes in. 208 00:06:48,988 --> 00:06:51,171 Actually Julie, could you, could you be the millionth customer. 209 00:06:51,171 --> 00:06:52,616 (giggling) 210 00:06:52,716 --> 00:06:53,449 So... 211 00:06:53,549 --> 00:06:54,762 and. 212 00:06:54,862 --> 00:06:56,786 Coming in, coming in, coming in. 213 00:06:56,886 --> 00:06:57,619 And, now! 214 00:06:57,719 --> 00:06:58,969 Katie, hand the line! 215 00:06:59,069 --> 00:07:00,343 - Congratulations madam, 216 00:07:00,443 --> 00:07:03,483 you are our millionth customer. - Why thank you, miss, 217 00:07:03,583 --> 00:07:06,133 I can't believe my luck. 218 00:07:06,233 --> 00:07:07,470 - Julie, what are you doing? 219 00:07:07,570 --> 00:07:08,500 - It's role play. 220 00:07:08,600 --> 00:07:09,972 I'm American. 221 00:07:10,072 --> 00:07:10,805 - Good point. 222 00:07:10,905 --> 00:07:12,571 They could be American. Now Katie, if they are, 223 00:07:12,571 --> 00:07:14,867 don't worry just come in with the line as prepared. 224 00:07:14,967 --> 00:07:16,800 Now let's do it again. 225 00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:20,877 And coming in, coming in, coming in. 226 00:07:20,977 --> 00:07:21,710 And, now! 227 00:07:21,810 --> 00:07:23,502 Katie, hand the line! - Congratulations, 228 00:07:23,602 --> 00:07:26,004 you are our millionth customer. 229 00:07:26,104 --> 00:07:28,570 - That's perfect. (applauding) Really great dress rehearsal, guys. 230 00:07:28,570 --> 00:07:30,690 That really was as smooth as silk. 231 00:07:30,790 --> 00:07:32,707 Oh, sorry come through. 232 00:07:41,486 --> 00:07:42,219 - What's this? 233 00:07:42,319 --> 00:07:43,790 - Ah, just going on holiday, isn't it? 234 00:07:43,890 --> 00:07:44,623 - Oh, yeah. 235 00:07:44,723 --> 00:07:46,513 Lemme guess, Blackpool? 236 00:07:46,613 --> 00:07:48,182 - Oh, no, no, no, no, no. 237 00:07:48,282 --> 00:07:49,115 Faliraki. 238 00:07:50,355 --> 00:07:53,066 Yeah, me and my mate two dicks, getting off when me shift finishes, 239 00:07:53,066 --> 00:07:54,266 flying out tonight. 240 00:07:54,366 --> 00:07:56,032 - You what!? 241 00:07:56,132 --> 00:07:58,093 - We're not together any more. Shag who I want. 242 00:07:58,193 --> 00:07:59,406 - Yeah but. 243 00:07:59,506 --> 00:08:00,339 Faliraki? 244 00:08:01,198 --> 00:08:02,521 Johnnies? 245 00:08:02,621 --> 00:08:04,239 It's a bit continental. 246 00:08:04,339 --> 00:08:06,672 - Pulling out all the stops. 247 00:08:10,594 --> 00:08:13,084 - Alright Sharon, you coming to my leaving drinks tonight? 248 00:08:13,084 --> 00:08:13,940 - Oh, is that tonight? 249 00:08:14,040 --> 00:08:15,265 Oh, I would've done 250 00:08:15,365 --> 00:08:17,204 but I've just remembered I don't actually like you. 251 00:08:17,204 --> 00:08:19,795 (laughing) 252 00:08:19,895 --> 00:08:23,103 - I'll cancel the high chair then! 253 00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:24,982 Oh, you're still coming tonight aren't you? 254 00:08:24,982 --> 00:08:26,304 - I don't have much choice, do I? 255 00:08:26,404 --> 00:08:28,146 - [Katie] Could all available staff please make their 256 00:08:28,146 --> 00:08:29,972 way to the store entrance for. 257 00:08:30,072 --> 00:08:32,352 Do I have to read this? - [Gavin] Yes. 258 00:08:32,452 --> 00:08:34,327 - [Katie] For that millionaire feeling. 259 00:08:34,427 --> 00:08:35,418 - Right, come on then. 260 00:08:35,518 --> 00:08:36,571 You coming Margaret? 261 00:08:36,671 --> 00:08:38,681 - Ooh, I wouldn't miss it for the world. 262 00:08:38,781 --> 00:08:40,744 How are they going to get a million customers in here I've no 263 00:08:40,744 --> 00:08:41,744 idea though. 264 00:08:44,569 --> 00:08:45,652 - Oh, 999999. 265 00:08:47,304 --> 00:08:48,700 Oh, next one's the millionth. 266 00:08:48,800 --> 00:08:52,331 Please don't go blind Leighton. Please don't go blind. 267 00:08:52,431 --> 00:08:54,098 - Oh, uh, after you. 268 00:08:56,565 --> 00:08:57,732 - One million! 269 00:08:58,846 --> 00:08:59,779 - Congratulate. 270 00:08:59,879 --> 00:09:01,104 - Hold on Katie. 271 00:09:01,204 --> 00:09:03,929 (crowd cheering) 272 00:09:04,029 --> 00:09:05,058 - Congratulations, 273 00:09:05,158 --> 00:09:07,741 you are our millionth customer. 274 00:09:10,604 --> 00:09:12,295 - Congratulations, madam, yes, 275 00:09:12,395 --> 00:09:15,909 you are indeed Valco's one millionth customer! 276 00:09:16,009 --> 00:09:17,347 (crowd cheering) 277 00:09:17,447 --> 00:09:21,395 And the winner of a Valco trolley dash! 278 00:09:21,495 --> 00:09:22,828 How do you feel? 279 00:09:23,727 --> 00:09:25,161 - Yeah, fine. 280 00:09:25,261 --> 00:09:26,130 - Wonderful stuff, 281 00:09:26,230 --> 00:09:29,663 and what went through your mind when you walked under the arch? 282 00:09:29,763 --> 00:09:32,728 - I thought I was being attacked, I nearly shat myself. 283 00:09:32,828 --> 00:09:33,844 - Apologies to all 284 00:09:33,944 --> 00:09:36,187 customers for the language there. 285 00:09:36,287 --> 00:09:37,905 We are live so please do not swear. 286 00:09:38,005 --> 00:09:40,235 Right, so let's get you down there. 287 00:09:40,335 --> 00:09:42,174 Let's see those smiles in the aisles. 288 00:09:42,274 --> 00:09:44,899 We're going to start in aisle eight. - Quite the showman, isn't he? 289 00:09:44,899 --> 00:09:46,687 - Oh, yes I know. 290 00:09:46,787 --> 00:09:49,537 (crowd applauds) 291 00:09:50,970 --> 00:09:53,274 - When your minute's up, you'll hear this noise. 292 00:09:53,374 --> 00:09:54,107 (horn blares) 293 00:09:54,207 --> 00:09:57,235 - Can I go down the booze aisle? - Uh, no, as I explained the dash is 294 00:09:57,335 --> 00:09:58,720 restricted to this aisle, 295 00:09:58,820 --> 00:10:00,339 aisle three and 14 296 00:10:00,439 --> 00:10:02,019 and the till-side of aisle nine. 297 00:10:02,119 --> 00:10:04,031 - So no booze aisle then? - No. 298 00:10:04,131 --> 00:10:06,129 Right, let's get this show on the road. 299 00:10:06,229 --> 00:10:08,045 Katie, take it away! 300 00:10:08,145 --> 00:10:09,181 (horn blares) 301 00:10:09,281 --> 00:10:10,947 And she's gone straight to the noodle snackers. 302 00:10:10,947 --> 00:10:12,482 And she's gone, uh, right, oh, 303 00:10:12,582 --> 00:10:14,433 a whole case of the things. - Tell you what I'd go for 304 00:10:14,433 --> 00:10:15,635 if it were me? 305 00:10:15,735 --> 00:10:16,616 Tinned tuna. 306 00:10:16,716 --> 00:10:19,254 Fill my trolley with the stuff. - Why? 307 00:10:19,354 --> 00:10:20,394 - Doesn't go off for ages, 308 00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:22,210 and the price never goes down. 309 00:10:22,310 --> 00:10:25,079 - Obviously the ready made curry paste currying no favour here. 310 00:10:25,179 --> 00:10:27,019 - [Woman] You're putting me off! - She's going for the crisps. 311 00:10:27,019 --> 00:10:28,575 That's quite a lot of crisps for her. 312 00:10:28,675 --> 00:10:31,004 And it's round her place for a crisp party. 313 00:10:31,104 --> 00:10:32,120 No booze! 314 00:10:32,220 --> 00:10:33,568 - Go on love! 315 00:10:33,668 --> 00:10:34,401 Oh! 316 00:10:34,501 --> 00:10:36,167 - [Gavin] Gosh she's fast. Like a greyhound. 317 00:10:36,167 --> 00:10:36,900 Shut up! 318 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,666 - Where's she going next, oh it's breakfast time here. 319 00:10:38,666 --> 00:10:39,899 Not liking her oats though. 320 00:10:39,899 --> 00:10:42,180 Little glimpse into this little lady's domestic life. 321 00:10:42,180 --> 00:10:43,955 - Oh, you'll miss all this when you're gone. 322 00:10:44,055 --> 00:10:46,484 - What am I gonna do, wait around for the two millionth customer? 323 00:10:46,484 --> 00:10:47,451 - Go on! 324 00:10:47,551 --> 00:10:49,218 - And passed the five a day. 325 00:10:49,318 --> 00:10:51,033 Lucky to get five in a lifetime this one. 326 00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:54,124 Better watch out Popeye, because she's going for the olive oil. 327 00:10:54,224 --> 00:10:56,369 Quite, quite a lot of olive oil, actually. 328 00:10:56,469 --> 00:10:58,123 Do you really need all that? 329 00:10:58,223 --> 00:10:59,056 Katie. 330 00:10:59,916 --> 00:11:01,202 Bloody hell, Katie! 331 00:11:01,302 --> 00:11:02,035 (horn blares) 332 00:11:02,135 --> 00:11:03,515 That's it there you go, thank you. 333 00:11:03,615 --> 00:11:04,348 Thank you. 334 00:11:04,448 --> 00:11:05,181 No that's it. 335 00:11:05,281 --> 00:11:06,014 That's it. 336 00:11:06,114 --> 00:11:07,780 Alright they're two for the price of one. That's that! 337 00:11:07,780 --> 00:11:09,334 - Not one tin of tuna. 338 00:11:09,434 --> 00:11:10,167 Idiot. 339 00:11:10,267 --> 00:11:12,350 - Well, what a whirlwind. 340 00:11:13,358 --> 00:11:15,761 Well, let me just get my breath back 341 00:11:15,861 --> 00:11:17,798 and we'll get these through 342 00:11:17,898 --> 00:11:19,398 the tills for you. 343 00:11:20,621 --> 00:11:22,986 And there go the pasta sauces, ably 344 00:11:23,086 --> 00:11:26,086 scanned through by the lovely Julie. 345 00:11:27,183 --> 00:11:28,666 - Oh, Gavin. 346 00:11:28,766 --> 00:11:29,849 - Yummy Pops. 347 00:11:32,139 --> 00:11:33,474 Sanitary tow. 348 00:11:33,574 --> 00:11:36,430 (laughing) 349 00:11:36,530 --> 00:11:38,479 More olive oil. 350 00:11:38,579 --> 00:11:41,165 - These are eight pounds each. - You do have rather a lot. 351 00:11:41,265 --> 00:11:43,432 - I'm gonna car boot them. 352 00:11:44,749 --> 00:11:45,716 - Thanks a million 353 00:11:45,816 --> 00:11:47,924 for shopping at Valco. 354 00:11:48,024 --> 00:11:50,191 - Valco, serves you right. 355 00:11:52,477 --> 00:11:54,671 - Mate, you can still stay, it's not too late. 356 00:11:54,771 --> 00:11:55,504 - Stay? 357 00:11:55,604 --> 00:11:57,246 In a place where I'm not appreciated? 358 00:11:57,346 --> 00:11:59,111 The time I've given to this place. 359 00:11:59,211 --> 00:12:00,767 Best years of my life I've given 360 00:12:00,867 --> 00:12:01,871 to this counter. 361 00:12:01,971 --> 00:12:04,804 - Can I get ten butcher's choice sausages, please? 362 00:12:06,411 --> 00:12:07,994 - Butcher's choice? 363 00:12:09,318 --> 00:12:10,678 - Are you, 364 00:12:10,778 --> 00:12:11,611 crying? 365 00:12:12,961 --> 00:12:13,794 - No. 366 00:12:15,034 --> 00:12:17,400 - I might just leave it for now. 367 00:12:17,500 --> 00:12:20,294 - You don't have to go, we want him to stay, don't we Margaret? 368 00:12:20,394 --> 00:12:21,864 (sobbing) 369 00:12:21,964 --> 00:12:23,238 Oh, not you as well? 370 00:12:23,338 --> 00:12:24,414 - Oh, come here. 371 00:12:24,514 --> 00:12:25,247 Come here. 372 00:12:25,347 --> 00:12:27,923 I'll be alright, I'm a big boy. 373 00:12:28,023 --> 00:12:29,309 - I'm sorry, Andy. 374 00:12:29,409 --> 00:12:30,266 - Don't be sorry. 375 00:12:30,366 --> 00:12:32,535 It's nice to feel appreciated. 376 00:12:32,635 --> 00:12:33,786 - 'Scuse me. 377 00:12:33,886 --> 00:12:34,619 Ta. 378 00:12:34,719 --> 00:12:35,454 (sobbing) 379 00:12:35,554 --> 00:12:36,827 (camera clicking) 380 00:12:36,927 --> 00:12:37,980 - Great, thank you. 381 00:12:38,080 --> 00:12:38,937 Well congratula-- 382 00:12:39,037 --> 00:12:39,770 - Nice one. 383 00:12:39,870 --> 00:12:41,440 - Thanks a million for shopping at Va-- 384 00:12:41,540 --> 00:12:42,630 - Gavin, can I have a word? 385 00:12:42,730 --> 00:12:43,524 - What right now? 386 00:12:43,624 --> 00:12:44,592 - It's important. 387 00:12:44,692 --> 00:12:45,647 - Uh, lads, can you do, 388 00:12:45,747 --> 00:12:47,474 can you do this now? 389 00:12:47,574 --> 00:12:50,504 Listen, uh, oh I don't know what we're going to do with these now. 390 00:12:50,604 --> 00:12:52,707 You and Emma, you don't want a balloon arch do you? 391 00:12:52,807 --> 00:12:53,540 - No, thanks. 392 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,127 Uh, look, it's about Andy. 393 00:12:55,227 --> 00:12:56,231 Can't you keep him on? 394 00:12:56,331 --> 00:12:58,206 - Well I mean I haven't fired him, Kieran. 395 00:12:58,306 --> 00:13:00,342 He's handed in his notice. - But he doesn't want to go. 396 00:13:00,342 --> 00:13:03,186 He's backed himself in to a corner he feels like he's got no choice. 397 00:13:03,286 --> 00:13:06,194 - You're sure he doesn't want to leave? - He just cried over some sausages. 398 00:13:06,194 --> 00:13:08,203 - Well I hope you've taken them off the display? 399 00:13:08,303 --> 00:13:10,363 I mean I know there are no specific-- - Not literally. 400 00:13:10,363 --> 00:13:11,780 - Oh right, yeah. 401 00:13:13,050 --> 00:13:14,967 I'll see what I can do. 402 00:13:16,828 --> 00:13:18,923 - Oh, it's so embarrassing. 403 00:13:19,023 --> 00:13:22,787 I bet you that photo of me'll end up all over campus in no time. 404 00:13:22,887 --> 00:13:25,241 - Look at that arse. 405 00:13:25,341 --> 00:13:27,093 Shoved a finger up that once. 406 00:13:27,193 --> 00:13:28,945 He went mental. 407 00:13:29,045 --> 00:13:30,748 - Lisa, you obviously really like him. 408 00:13:30,848 --> 00:13:32,380 - It doesn't matter any more. 409 00:13:32,480 --> 00:13:33,742 He's off to Faliraki. 410 00:13:33,842 --> 00:13:35,348 Flying out tonight. 411 00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:37,779 - Look, I would never normally say for anyone to go after Colin 412 00:13:37,779 --> 00:13:40,623 but you two are perfect for each other. 413 00:13:40,723 --> 00:13:43,933 Believe me, you'll regret it if you don't say anything. 414 00:13:45,090 --> 00:13:46,423 - Cover my till. 415 00:13:47,764 --> 00:13:48,931 - Till closed. 416 00:13:53,787 --> 00:13:55,711 - Oh Andy, Gavin's just radioed down. 417 00:13:55,811 --> 00:13:58,226 He wants to see you in his office. - Oh? 418 00:13:58,326 --> 00:14:00,422 Let me guess, leaving present. 419 00:14:00,522 --> 00:14:02,372 - I thought you didn't want anything? 420 00:14:02,472 --> 00:14:04,152 You said people could just buy you a drink tonight. 421 00:14:04,152 --> 00:14:06,138 - Ooh, it's probably a leaving stripper. 422 00:14:06,238 --> 00:14:08,702 - Gavin would have no interest in strippers, Andy. 423 00:14:08,802 --> 00:14:11,083 - He's a man isn't he, surely he's got an eye for the ladies. 424 00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:12,627 - Yes I think he has. 425 00:14:12,727 --> 00:14:14,356 Especially the lovely ones. 426 00:14:14,456 --> 00:14:17,289 - Well no one likes dogs, do they? 427 00:14:20,197 --> 00:14:21,114 - Oh, Andy. 428 00:14:22,148 --> 00:14:24,678 - I guess Julie was right. No strippers here. 429 00:14:26,048 --> 00:14:28,715 - No, come in Andy, take a seat. 430 00:14:30,918 --> 00:14:33,432 Now it's very embarrassing as a manager to admit you're wrong 431 00:14:33,432 --> 00:14:37,037 and make a u-turn but, is there any way that you'd consider staying on here? 432 00:14:37,137 --> 00:14:37,870 - You what? 433 00:14:37,970 --> 00:14:38,703 Oh, Gavin, 434 00:14:38,803 --> 00:14:40,177 it's way too late for that. 435 00:14:40,277 --> 00:14:42,068 I've already agreed to go somewhere else. 436 00:14:42,068 --> 00:14:43,735 - Well, I'll be honest with ya, um, I don't 437 00:14:43,835 --> 00:14:47,586 know how we'll cope without you. You are the meat counter. 438 00:14:47,686 --> 00:14:48,764 - Well, that's true. 439 00:14:48,864 --> 00:14:50,628 - And Kieran, he's an able butcher. 440 00:14:50,728 --> 00:14:51,808 - Well, he's more than able. 441 00:14:51,808 --> 00:14:54,014 I trained him myself, raised him like a pup. 442 00:14:54,114 --> 00:14:57,011 - But he's no Andy Richmond. 443 00:14:57,111 --> 00:14:59,706 - I've given my word to Starks Farm Foods. 444 00:14:59,806 --> 00:15:00,639 I'm sorry. 445 00:15:03,395 --> 00:15:05,812 - I'll make you head butcher? 446 00:15:08,331 --> 00:15:09,409 - Head butcher? 447 00:15:09,509 --> 00:15:11,224 - Head butcher. 448 00:15:11,324 --> 00:15:12,057 - Officially? 449 00:15:12,157 --> 00:15:16,733 In my contract and everything. - New name badge, the whole nine yards. 450 00:15:17,740 --> 00:15:18,990 - Head butcher. 451 00:15:20,389 --> 00:15:21,122 Pay rise? 452 00:15:21,222 --> 00:15:21,955 - No. 453 00:15:22,055 --> 00:15:23,996 - Good job I didn't get in to this game for the money then. 454 00:15:23,996 --> 00:15:25,282 - So you'll stay then? 455 00:15:25,382 --> 00:15:27,858 - Well, someone's got to hold Kieran's hand ain't they. 456 00:15:27,958 --> 00:15:30,541 Like you said, he's a shithead. 457 00:15:32,655 --> 00:15:35,130 You! (laughing) 458 00:15:35,230 --> 00:15:37,480 (laughing) 459 00:15:38,479 --> 00:15:39,312 - Oh. 460 00:15:43,386 --> 00:15:46,009 - Oh, Andy, I'm glad I've caught you. 461 00:15:46,109 --> 00:15:49,542 Now listen I know we've not always got along but, uh, I'll miss you when 462 00:15:49,642 --> 00:15:50,375 you've gone. 463 00:15:50,475 --> 00:15:53,983 You're a good butcher and um, you know, you're a good bloke. 464 00:15:54,083 --> 00:15:57,833 And, well me and the lads have made you that. 465 00:15:59,884 --> 00:16:00,617 - A pig cake? 466 00:16:00,717 --> 00:16:01,450 - Yeah. 467 00:16:01,550 --> 00:16:03,280 Well, its legs are sausage rolls. 468 00:16:03,380 --> 00:16:07,145 And then you've got your meat loaf torso and your pink marzipan face. 469 00:16:09,391 --> 00:16:11,425 - I don't know what to say. 470 00:16:11,525 --> 00:16:12,358 Thank you. 471 00:16:13,709 --> 00:16:15,475 You do know I'm actually not leaving now? 472 00:16:15,475 --> 00:16:16,982 But still, a pig cake. 473 00:16:17,082 --> 00:16:18,832 - You're not leaving? 474 00:16:19,805 --> 00:16:21,374 Gimme back me cake. 475 00:16:21,474 --> 00:16:24,307 I knew it was too good to be true. 476 00:16:27,362 --> 00:16:29,518 - Leighton, have you seen Colin? - Yes. 477 00:16:29,618 --> 00:16:30,352 - Where? 478 00:16:30,452 --> 00:16:31,835 I need to speak to him! 479 00:16:31,935 --> 00:16:33,185 - Um, on his way out, 480 00:16:33,285 --> 00:16:34,785 a few minutes ago. 481 00:16:36,589 --> 00:16:37,796 (whistling) 482 00:16:37,896 --> 00:16:39,673 - Oh, someone's in a good mood. 483 00:16:39,773 --> 00:16:43,058 - It's just one of those days where everything seems to be going right. 484 00:16:43,158 --> 00:16:45,146 I've just managed to persuade Andy to stay with us 485 00:16:45,146 --> 00:16:48,358 and I've just received a call from Greg Lester at Head Office. 486 00:16:48,458 --> 00:16:49,756 - GL called you? 487 00:16:49,856 --> 00:16:53,215 - Yeah, looks like we'll be getting rid of the No Nonsense range. 488 00:16:53,315 --> 00:16:56,073 - That's fantastic news, Gavin! 489 00:16:56,173 --> 00:16:57,971 Perhaps it'll be champagne with 490 00:16:58,071 --> 00:16:58,804 dinner later? 491 00:16:58,904 --> 00:17:01,409 - Yeah, well, I'm not really one for bubbles. 492 00:17:01,509 --> 00:17:02,881 You alright there, Lisa? 493 00:17:02,981 --> 00:17:03,887 - (panting) Yeah. 494 00:17:03,987 --> 00:17:04,820 Yeah. 495 00:17:06,035 --> 00:17:08,143 - So, are you going to tell me where we're eating then? 496 00:17:08,243 --> 00:17:10,044 - Oh yes, now I've checked with Anna. 497 00:17:10,144 --> 00:17:11,136 - Anna? 498 00:17:11,236 --> 00:17:12,608 - Oh blast. 499 00:17:12,708 --> 00:17:15,146 Sorry, I wanted it to be a surprise. 500 00:17:15,246 --> 00:17:16,164 - Who's Anna? 501 00:17:16,264 --> 00:17:18,030 - She's my new girlfriend. I wanted you to meet her 502 00:17:18,030 --> 00:17:20,726 so I could ask your opinion. 503 00:17:20,826 --> 00:17:22,809 - I, I didn't realise you had 504 00:17:22,909 --> 00:17:23,928 a new girlfriend. 505 00:17:24,028 --> 00:17:25,756 - She's part of my cycling club. 506 00:17:25,856 --> 00:17:27,586 You know the one that you urged me to join. 507 00:17:27,586 --> 00:17:29,129 Isn't that amazing? 508 00:17:29,229 --> 00:17:31,534 It's all thanks to you! 509 00:17:31,634 --> 00:17:32,367 - Yes. 510 00:17:32,467 --> 00:17:33,852 Yeah, that's amazing. 511 00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:35,434 - I can't wait for you to meet her. 512 00:17:35,534 --> 00:17:38,117 Get my old pal Julie's verdict. 513 00:17:39,275 --> 00:17:41,608 (whistling) 514 00:17:45,362 --> 00:17:47,529 (panting) 515 00:17:53,932 --> 00:17:56,027 - I'm not calling you head butcher. - I'm your boss now, 516 00:17:56,127 --> 00:17:58,334 you have to do whatever I say. 517 00:17:58,434 --> 00:18:00,738 - Hey, do I have to call you boss now, Andy. 518 00:18:00,838 --> 00:18:01,953 - Can't hurt, Margaret. 519 00:18:02,053 --> 00:18:04,493 - You not going to miss being a skilled butcher at the new place? 520 00:18:04,493 --> 00:18:06,908 - Ah, they wouldn't know skill at Starks Farm Foods 521 00:18:07,008 --> 00:18:08,171 if it ran them over. 522 00:18:08,271 --> 00:18:10,171 Bunch of cowboys. 523 00:18:10,271 --> 00:18:12,465 - Ooh, have you told them, boss? 524 00:18:12,565 --> 00:18:13,298 - Good point. 525 00:18:13,398 --> 00:18:14,820 Kieran, take a memo. 526 00:18:14,920 --> 00:18:16,439 - I'm not taking a memo. 527 00:18:16,539 --> 00:18:19,044 - Head butcher, you have to. 528 00:18:19,144 --> 00:18:21,561 - Ooh, shall I get you a pen. 529 00:18:22,881 --> 00:18:23,614 - Hey. 530 00:18:23,714 --> 00:18:24,447 - Get off. 531 00:18:24,547 --> 00:18:25,280 - Come on. 532 00:18:25,380 --> 00:18:28,424 - Right, I've phoned ahead at the pub and made them reserve you a chair. 533 00:18:28,524 --> 00:18:29,785 Now, how are you for fluids? 534 00:18:29,885 --> 00:18:30,618 - I'm fine. 535 00:18:30,718 --> 00:18:33,833 - Well, if you need anything let me know and I'll take care of it. 536 00:18:33,933 --> 00:18:35,957 - He's gonna be lucky to have a godmother like you. 537 00:18:35,957 --> 00:18:39,659 - I'm just gonna put some lippy on. - I said he's gonna be lucky to have. 538 00:18:39,759 --> 00:18:42,002 Oh, for God's sake. 539 00:18:42,102 --> 00:18:43,474 This is a staff announcement, 540 00:18:43,574 --> 00:18:47,252 would Linda please accept the offer to be the godmother of my child, 541 00:18:47,352 --> 00:18:50,318 that's Linda to be the godmother of my child. 542 00:18:50,418 --> 00:18:51,631 (crowd applauding) 543 00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:52,564 - Really? 544 00:18:53,564 --> 00:18:55,147 - Of course really. 545 00:18:56,061 --> 00:18:58,193 Who else would it be you big lump? 546 00:18:58,293 --> 00:18:59,959 Stop crying, they're all looking at you. 547 00:18:59,959 --> 00:19:02,209 (laughing) 548 00:19:03,383 --> 00:19:05,550 (panting) 549 00:19:09,111 --> 00:19:11,367 - Right, has anyone seen a pair of sunglasses? 550 00:19:11,467 --> 00:19:12,200 No? 551 00:19:12,300 --> 00:19:13,033 Right. 552 00:19:13,133 --> 00:19:16,936 They're aviators. I only nicked 'em yesterday! 553 00:19:17,036 --> 00:19:17,769 Where are they? 554 00:19:17,869 --> 00:19:19,119 Where are they? 555 00:19:23,452 --> 00:19:24,393 What's going on? 556 00:19:24,493 --> 00:19:25,620 - I've changed my mind. 557 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,718 I won't shag anyone else. 558 00:19:27,818 --> 00:19:28,907 - What's brought this on? 559 00:19:29,007 --> 00:19:30,244 - Well, you have. 560 00:19:30,344 --> 00:19:34,047 If that's what it takes to see your arse again then, then I'll do it. 561 00:19:34,147 --> 00:19:37,015 I'll be a one man woman from now on. 562 00:19:37,115 --> 00:19:37,996 - Do you mean it? 563 00:19:38,096 --> 00:19:38,929 - Yeah. 564 00:19:40,292 --> 00:19:42,424 I think I like, you know, really, 565 00:19:42,524 --> 00:19:44,024 love you and shit. 566 00:19:45,530 --> 00:19:47,530 - And I love you an all. 567 00:19:52,399 --> 00:19:55,157 Ah, saying that, I'm meant to be going to Faliraki aren't I? 568 00:19:55,257 --> 00:19:57,022 And it's fanny on tap out there so. 569 00:19:57,122 --> 00:19:59,205 - You can go if you want. 570 00:20:01,901 --> 00:20:03,376 - Nah sack it, I'm gonna stay here 571 00:20:03,476 --> 00:20:05,102 with my girlfriend isn't it. 572 00:20:05,202 --> 00:20:07,447 (laughing) 573 00:20:07,547 --> 00:20:08,441 - Oh, get this out. 574 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:09,874 - Get those out. 575 00:20:10,731 --> 00:20:11,900 Get on here now. 576 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,076 Get on it. 577 00:20:13,176 --> 00:20:15,652 (grunting) 578 00:20:15,752 --> 00:20:16,585 - Uh. 579 00:20:18,455 --> 00:20:19,288 Guys. 580 00:20:22,074 --> 00:20:22,950 - You coming for a drink? 581 00:20:22,950 --> 00:20:24,336 - Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm just waiting for Kieran. 582 00:20:24,336 --> 00:20:25,561 Is everything alright? 583 00:20:25,661 --> 00:20:27,095 - Between you and me, he's left Emma 584 00:20:27,195 --> 00:20:29,862 so he's kipping at mine for now. 585 00:20:32,850 --> 00:20:34,612 - Andy told you the good news then? 586 00:20:34,712 --> 00:20:35,618 - Good news? 587 00:20:35,718 --> 00:20:37,099 - He's sticking around. 588 00:20:37,199 --> 00:20:38,635 I knew he'd never go. 589 00:20:38,735 --> 00:20:40,622 - Oh, right, yeah. 590 00:20:40,722 --> 00:20:41,579 He also told me 591 00:20:41,679 --> 00:20:43,185 that you're staying at his. 592 00:20:43,285 --> 00:20:44,608 - Oh. 593 00:20:44,708 --> 00:20:48,458 Yeah, me and Emma had a big row so that's it. 594 00:20:50,621 --> 00:20:51,454 Moved out. 595 00:20:52,461 --> 00:20:53,367 - Bloody hell, Kieran. 596 00:20:53,467 --> 00:20:54,200 - Yeah. 597 00:20:54,300 --> 00:20:56,961 Looks like I've finally grown a pair, eh? 598 00:20:57,061 --> 00:20:58,813 - Are you sure you're doing the right thing? 599 00:20:58,913 --> 00:21:00,543 - Yeah, yeah. 600 00:21:00,643 --> 00:21:02,113 I really am. 601 00:21:02,213 --> 00:21:04,308 - Well if there's anything I can do then? 602 00:21:04,408 --> 00:21:06,602 - You can come to Andy's party 603 00:21:06,702 --> 00:21:08,761 with me, help me get drunk. 604 00:21:08,861 --> 00:21:09,694 - Deal. 605 00:21:10,726 --> 00:21:12,428 Come on you sausage toucher. 606 00:21:12,528 --> 00:21:15,531 (laughing) 607 00:21:15,631 --> 00:21:18,031 - Come on, Margaret, I can't be late for my own drinks. 608 00:21:18,131 --> 00:21:19,139 - I'll name him after ya. - Yeah. 609 00:21:19,139 --> 00:21:21,393 - I'll call him Linda. - Oh, pregnant lady coming through! 610 00:21:21,493 --> 00:21:22,226 Bloody hell. 611 00:21:22,326 --> 00:21:24,659 (laughing) 612 00:21:30,659 --> 00:21:31,742 - Smell that. 613 00:21:32,887 --> 00:21:33,620 It's like what? 614 00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:36,053 (laughing) 615 00:21:38,934 --> 00:21:40,017 - Night, Ian. 616 00:21:42,968 --> 00:21:46,135 (upbeat happy music)