1 00:00:01,487 --> 00:00:02,846 - Valco! - Serves you right. 2 00:00:02,946 --> 00:00:05,392 - I'm quite nervous. - You won't beat our prices. 3 00:00:05,492 --> 00:00:06,572 - Can she stop that now? 4 00:00:06,672 --> 00:00:08,506 - Fish and ticks. 5 00:00:08,606 --> 00:00:09,442 - Red hot deals. 6 00:00:09,542 --> 00:00:12,023 - We've got offers on everything, from booze to biscuits. 7 00:00:12,123 --> 00:00:14,123 - Loads of two for ones. 8 00:00:15,314 --> 00:00:16,047 - Boom. 9 00:00:16,147 --> 00:00:17,587 - Fresh produce. - Delivered daily. 10 00:00:17,687 --> 00:00:19,859 - Am I getting paid for this? - Don't forget the Valco tick. 11 00:00:19,859 --> 00:00:21,562 - Oh, Valco tick. - That way. 12 00:00:21,662 --> 00:00:24,761 - Serves you right. - Valco, serves you right. 13 00:00:24,861 --> 00:00:27,528 - [All] Valco, serves you right. 14 00:00:31,127 --> 00:00:33,766 - May I help you with your shopping experience today? 15 00:00:33,866 --> 00:00:34,748 Welcome to Valco. 16 00:00:34,848 --> 00:00:37,327 May I help you with your shopping experience today? 17 00:00:37,427 --> 00:00:38,433 - No, thanks, love. 18 00:00:38,533 --> 00:00:41,089 - We've got some lovely papayas that have come in. 19 00:00:41,189 --> 00:00:41,922 - Papayas? 20 00:00:42,022 --> 00:00:43,420 I don't think I like papaya. 21 00:00:43,520 --> 00:00:45,624 - Oh, congratulations, customer name. 22 00:00:45,724 --> 00:00:48,141 That's an excellent decision. 23 00:00:51,623 --> 00:00:54,290 (drill working) 24 00:01:02,290 --> 00:01:03,678 - Have you seen Richard France? 25 00:01:03,778 --> 00:01:06,145 (drill working) 26 00:01:06,245 --> 00:01:08,662 Have you seen Richard France? 27 00:01:12,728 --> 00:01:14,694 - Sorry, Gavin, is this going to be happening all day? 28 00:01:14,694 --> 00:01:17,894 Cos it's sending the tills mental. - They're not the only ones, Katie. 29 00:01:17,994 --> 00:01:19,663 It's virtually strobing! 30 00:01:19,763 --> 00:01:22,308 I feel like Jean Michel Jarre! 31 00:01:22,408 --> 00:01:24,452 Which is what I'm going to tell Richard France, 32 00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:25,897 when I find him. 33 00:01:25,997 --> 00:01:28,664 (drill working) 34 00:01:31,216 --> 00:01:33,217 - Oh! - I am your secret admirer. 35 00:01:33,317 --> 00:01:35,692 Come with me now to Paris to make love and eat food. 36 00:01:35,792 --> 00:01:38,750 - Stop, stop it, you total crazy woman! 37 00:01:38,850 --> 00:01:40,517 - Look at your face! 38 00:01:41,530 --> 00:01:43,555 I promise to make it my job as your best friend 39 00:01:43,555 --> 00:01:45,276 to get you laughing every day, 40 00:01:45,376 --> 00:01:48,655 just to see that beautiful face light up. 41 00:01:48,755 --> 00:01:49,979 (laughing) 42 00:01:50,079 --> 00:01:52,586 - Stop it, OK! - It's a crime! 43 00:01:52,686 --> 00:01:53,906 - Sorry? 44 00:01:54,006 --> 00:01:56,469 - Why is there not a man in your life? 45 00:01:56,569 --> 00:01:57,402 Why? 46 00:01:58,350 --> 00:02:00,151 - "It's complicated!" 47 00:02:00,251 --> 00:02:03,039 - Well, I'm going to fix you up today. 48 00:02:03,139 --> 00:02:05,428 This place is full of single men. 49 00:02:05,528 --> 00:02:07,952 - Oh, I really don't think any of them are my type-- 50 00:02:08,052 --> 00:02:10,306 - In my country, we say, 51 00:02:10,406 --> 00:02:14,434 "O comes la sopa, o saltas por la ventana." 52 00:02:14,534 --> 00:02:16,047 - Oh, that's lovely. 53 00:02:16,147 --> 00:02:18,767 - It means, "Either eat the soup or jump out of the window!" 54 00:02:18,867 --> 00:02:20,622 So, how about today? 55 00:02:20,722 --> 00:02:21,455 Lunch? 56 00:02:21,555 --> 00:02:22,481 A double date. 57 00:02:22,581 --> 00:02:25,868 You and a man, with me and Gavin. 58 00:02:25,968 --> 00:02:27,283 - I don't think so. 59 00:02:27,383 --> 00:02:30,176 - You must trust me, darling! 60 00:02:30,276 --> 00:02:33,109 Trust me with your beautiful face. 61 00:02:38,323 --> 00:02:40,073 - Bye. - Double date. 62 00:02:44,354 --> 00:02:47,614 - Lisa, have you seen your Colin anywhere? I need him to put these returns back. 63 00:02:47,714 --> 00:02:49,596 - No, he's not been home neither. 64 00:02:49,696 --> 00:02:50,894 But look. 65 00:02:50,994 --> 00:02:52,922 I scanned him in anyway. 66 00:02:53,022 --> 00:02:54,534 But don't tell anyone, right. 67 00:02:54,634 --> 00:02:55,367 - Oh, my God! 68 00:02:55,467 --> 00:02:59,294 You'll get in proper shit for that, Lisa. - Nah but keep it quiet. 69 00:02:59,394 --> 00:03:01,312 - Keep what quiet? 70 00:03:01,412 --> 00:03:03,008 - [Both] Lisa scanned Colin in. 71 00:03:03,108 --> 00:03:04,532 - Thanks a lot, dickheads. 72 00:03:04,632 --> 00:03:05,365 - Where is he? 73 00:03:05,465 --> 00:03:07,707 - Dunno, not seen him in 36 hours. 74 00:03:07,807 --> 00:03:09,602 - Are you not worried? - Nah, not really. 75 00:03:09,702 --> 00:03:11,542 Standard weekend for Colin. 76 00:03:11,642 --> 00:03:13,357 And he's with his mate Two Dicks, 77 00:03:13,457 --> 00:03:16,124 so how much harm can he come to? 78 00:03:20,727 --> 00:03:23,839 (beatboxing) 79 00:03:23,939 --> 00:03:25,203 - So Dave, I was just wondering 80 00:03:25,303 --> 00:03:27,025 if you could stop doing that. 81 00:03:27,125 --> 00:03:29,194 - Oh, right, yeah, course. Course I can. 82 00:03:30,175 --> 00:03:33,130 Doing what? - That, that singing. 83 00:03:33,230 --> 00:03:34,157 - Singing? 84 00:03:34,257 --> 00:03:35,353 That's not singing, Ray. 85 00:03:35,453 --> 00:03:37,621 Singing has words in it, whereas what I'm doing 86 00:03:37,721 --> 00:03:39,231 is called beatboxing, yeah? 87 00:03:39,331 --> 00:03:43,498 The ancient art of using your body as a box of beats. 88 00:03:46,175 --> 00:03:48,720 - Oh, it's a bit spitty, innit? 89 00:03:48,820 --> 00:03:49,987 - Yeah, sorry. 90 00:03:55,691 --> 00:03:59,102 - Honestly, it's like a war zone out there. 91 00:03:59,202 --> 00:04:01,918 I don't know how soldiers do it Julie, I really don't. 92 00:04:02,018 --> 00:04:03,737 - This just arrived for you, Gavin. 93 00:04:03,837 --> 00:04:04,670 - Oh. 94 00:04:11,111 --> 00:04:12,778 - What do you think? 95 00:04:17,382 --> 00:04:20,711 - If Richard France thinks I'm going to wear this, 96 00:04:20,811 --> 00:04:24,225 this hooded top in public, then I'm afraid 97 00:04:24,325 --> 00:04:26,294 he doesn't know Gavin Strong very well at all! 98 00:04:26,394 --> 00:04:27,412 - Don't you like it? 99 00:04:27,512 --> 00:04:30,332 - Of course I don't, just look at it! I'm not some sort of criminal. 100 00:04:30,432 --> 00:04:33,329 - What idiot comes up with an idea like this? 101 00:04:33,429 --> 00:04:34,771 - Knock, knock! 102 00:04:34,871 --> 00:04:35,777 Whoa, hang on. 103 00:04:35,877 --> 00:04:39,571 Status update, I appear to be knocking. 104 00:04:39,671 --> 00:04:41,568 What happened to our open door policy, G-Force? 105 00:04:41,568 --> 00:04:42,886 - Oh, I thought it was metaphorical. 106 00:04:42,886 --> 00:04:45,103 - Yeah, but this isn't a metaphorical door, is it? 107 00:04:45,203 --> 00:04:47,088 This is a real door, 108 00:04:47,188 --> 00:04:48,918 so let's just keep this baby open, shall we? 109 00:04:48,918 --> 00:04:51,835 In fact, screw that, let's take the door right off. 110 00:04:51,935 --> 00:04:53,819 (laughing) 111 00:04:53,919 --> 00:04:55,055 Borrow your pen. 112 00:04:55,155 --> 00:04:58,359 - He can't, he's serious, isn't he? 113 00:04:58,459 --> 00:04:59,720 - Oh, shit. 114 00:04:59,820 --> 00:05:01,800 Actually, just get the builders on it, will you? 115 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:04,302 Hey, you got the hoody! 116 00:05:04,402 --> 00:05:06,039 - Yeah, yeah, thank you, but I-- 117 00:05:06,139 --> 00:05:08,972 - Oh, don't thank me, thank Julie. 118 00:05:12,837 --> 00:05:13,570 - This was you? 119 00:05:13,670 --> 00:05:15,793 - Well, yes, but no-- 120 00:05:15,893 --> 00:05:17,946 - Whoa-whoa-whoa, don't be modest now! 121 00:05:18,046 --> 00:05:19,923 - I didn't think it was going to be a hoody! 122 00:05:20,023 --> 00:05:21,920 - I just wanted customers to know more about you, 123 00:05:21,920 --> 00:05:23,226 that's all. 124 00:05:23,326 --> 00:05:24,835 - Right, put it on, then. 125 00:05:24,935 --> 00:05:26,768 Come on, don't be shy. 126 00:05:35,912 --> 00:05:38,162 (laughing) 127 00:05:39,218 --> 00:05:40,987 Brilliant, brilliant. Put the hood up. 128 00:05:41,087 --> 00:05:43,337 - No. - Oh, come on, do it. 129 00:05:44,491 --> 00:05:47,152 (laughing) 130 00:05:47,252 --> 00:05:49,704 Right now, do you know, rap fingers. 131 00:05:49,804 --> 00:05:51,727 - Oh, I really don't think that Gavin knows what-- 132 00:05:51,827 --> 00:05:53,244 - I do, actually. 133 00:05:55,963 --> 00:05:58,214 - It's brilliant, I'll tag you. 134 00:05:58,314 --> 00:06:00,772 - Oh, now, Richard, listen, listen. While I've got you. 135 00:06:00,872 --> 00:06:02,418 - Oh, shit, news bomb. 136 00:06:02,518 --> 00:06:07,292 I just came here for a conflab with Jools so may I? 137 00:06:07,392 --> 00:06:10,142 - Oh, she's all yours, evidently. 138 00:06:26,562 --> 00:06:28,275 - Hi. - Oh, hello? 139 00:06:28,375 --> 00:06:30,709 Oh, this, yes, right, yes. 140 00:06:30,809 --> 00:06:32,939 Hello and do you need any help? 141 00:06:33,039 --> 00:06:33,772 - Hi. 142 00:06:33,872 --> 00:06:35,725 - Yes, right, yes, very good. 143 00:06:35,825 --> 00:06:36,658 Hello. 144 00:06:38,718 --> 00:06:39,551 - Hi. 145 00:06:41,437 --> 00:06:43,297 - Ah, Leighton, just the man. Will you just help me with-- 146 00:06:43,297 --> 00:06:44,140 - No, no, no, I can't. 147 00:06:44,240 --> 00:06:45,231 I'm allergic to puppies 148 00:06:45,231 --> 00:06:46,873 and I definitely know you're not a friend of my Mum's. 149 00:06:46,873 --> 00:06:49,994 - No, Leighton, it's me, it's Gavin. 150 00:06:50,094 --> 00:06:51,897 - Wow, Gavin! 151 00:06:51,997 --> 00:06:53,008 Are you undercover? 152 00:06:53,108 --> 00:06:55,441 - No, I wish I was, frankly. 153 00:06:57,239 --> 00:06:59,345 Now can you just take some of these up to the front for me? 154 00:06:59,345 --> 00:07:02,451 - Oh no, I can't, I've got to stack these. - Well, where's Colin? 155 00:07:06,313 --> 00:07:08,315 - Colin is in the loading bay 156 00:07:08,415 --> 00:07:11,584 shifting pallets for the next delivery. 157 00:07:11,684 --> 00:07:12,488 - Oh, oh, good. 158 00:07:12,588 --> 00:07:15,175 Well, he's been backing up for a while. 159 00:07:15,275 --> 00:07:17,282 Actually, can you just stack all that later 160 00:07:17,382 --> 00:07:20,297 and just thank Colin for me when you see him. 161 00:07:20,397 --> 00:07:22,315 - Colin is in the loading bay 162 00:07:22,415 --> 00:07:26,035 shifting pallets for the next delivery. 163 00:07:26,135 --> 00:07:26,968 - Right. 164 00:07:29,272 --> 00:07:31,272 - Pretty, pretty smooth. 165 00:07:32,124 --> 00:07:33,041 - Dickhead. 166 00:07:34,961 --> 00:07:37,378 (beatboxing) 167 00:07:40,127 --> 00:07:40,860 - That's it. 168 00:07:40,960 --> 00:07:42,152 I didn't think you were into this kind of thing. 169 00:07:42,152 --> 00:07:44,435 Right, let's try it together. Let's get the bass going first. 170 00:07:44,435 --> 00:07:46,852 (beatboxing) 171 00:08:01,848 --> 00:08:03,153 Whoa, whoa, whoa. 172 00:08:03,253 --> 00:08:04,586 Actually, don't. 173 00:08:06,225 --> 00:08:07,443 Yes, love, what can I get you? 174 00:08:07,543 --> 00:08:09,626 - Just a piece of salmon. 175 00:08:11,881 --> 00:08:13,181 - This is a staff announcement. 176 00:08:13,281 --> 00:08:15,193 Could Colin return to aisle four, please 177 00:08:15,293 --> 00:08:18,494 and continue assisting the customer he so kindly helped out earlier. 178 00:08:18,594 --> 00:08:19,427 Thank you. 179 00:08:20,405 --> 00:08:22,572 - Cheers, mate, I owe you. 180 00:08:24,626 --> 00:08:26,429 - So, how long is it now? 181 00:08:26,529 --> 00:08:27,597 - Five weeks on Thursday. 182 00:08:27,697 --> 00:08:29,455 - Oh, five whole weeks. 183 00:08:29,555 --> 00:08:32,450 Have you done a poo round his house yet? - I've not even been round his house. 184 00:08:32,450 --> 00:08:34,845 - Five weeks and you still haven't been round to his house? 185 00:08:34,845 --> 00:08:36,316 - Don't even know where he lives. 186 00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,260 - You need to do a poo at his house, mate, 187 00:08:38,360 --> 00:08:40,779 or how will you know if he's serious about you? 188 00:08:40,879 --> 00:08:43,005 - Isn't that a Cher song? - Oh, yeah, I think it is! 189 00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:45,274 - It is, isn't it? 190 00:08:45,374 --> 00:08:47,913 - Yes, madam, what can I do for you? 191 00:08:48,013 --> 00:08:50,433 - Can I ask if I can help you with your. 192 00:08:50,533 --> 00:08:51,541 Oh, welcome to Valco. 193 00:08:51,641 --> 00:08:52,874 Can I ask if I can help you 194 00:08:52,974 --> 00:08:54,781 with your shopping experience today? - Piss off. 195 00:08:54,781 --> 00:08:56,039 - Oi, you, out. 196 00:08:56,139 --> 00:08:57,484 - You what? - You heard, do one. 197 00:08:57,584 --> 00:08:58,851 No one talks to her like that 198 00:08:58,951 --> 00:09:01,306 and gets away with it, shit bag. 199 00:09:01,406 --> 00:09:02,917 - Ian, is everything all right? 200 00:09:03,017 --> 00:09:04,882 - Yeah, just had to send another one packing 201 00:09:04,882 --> 00:09:06,930 for giving lip to Margaret. 202 00:09:07,030 --> 00:09:08,207 - Margaret? 203 00:09:08,307 --> 00:09:10,292 Well, why isn't she at the deli? - Welcome to Valco. 204 00:09:10,292 --> 00:09:13,158 Can I ask if I can help you with your shopping experience today? 205 00:09:13,258 --> 00:09:14,142 - No, you can't. 206 00:09:14,242 --> 00:09:16,201 - Oh, Gavin, it's you! 207 00:09:16,301 --> 00:09:18,328 I didn't recognise you in your jog suit. 208 00:09:18,428 --> 00:09:21,390 - Just head back to your station please, Margaret. 209 00:09:21,490 --> 00:09:23,950 - But Richard France wants me 210 00:09:24,050 --> 00:09:25,934 "wancing" everybody as they come in 211 00:09:26,034 --> 00:09:28,924 and they'll never hear me from over there. - He never ran it past me. 212 00:09:29,024 --> 00:09:31,994 Listen, let me have a word with him and I'll get right back to you, Margaret. 213 00:09:31,994 --> 00:09:35,356 - Well done, that's an excellent decision. 214 00:09:35,456 --> 00:09:36,343 - What was that? 215 00:09:36,443 --> 00:09:39,280 - He wants us to touch 'em when they come in, doesn't he? 216 00:09:39,380 --> 00:09:40,638 - Well, don't. 217 00:09:40,738 --> 00:09:44,025 You know, and that is an actual order, Margaret. 218 00:09:44,125 --> 00:09:46,042 - Right you are, Gavin. 219 00:09:47,132 --> 00:09:49,976 - Welcome to Valco, can I-- - No. 220 00:09:50,076 --> 00:09:50,909 - Oi! 221 00:09:54,988 --> 00:09:58,923 - Neville, so I have this friend who's looking for a date. 222 00:09:59,023 --> 00:10:00,342 - Count me in. 223 00:10:00,442 --> 00:10:01,456 - It's a woman. 224 00:10:01,556 --> 00:10:02,372 - Ooh, Brucey Bonus. 225 00:10:02,472 --> 00:10:05,230 - Can I tell you a little bit about her? - Yeah, if you like, to be honest 226 00:10:05,230 --> 00:10:06,751 I already like the sound of her so-- 227 00:10:06,851 --> 00:10:08,528 - Fabulous, lunch time today? 228 00:10:08,628 --> 00:10:09,492 - Today? 229 00:10:09,592 --> 00:10:11,518 - Yes, she works here. 230 00:10:11,618 --> 00:10:13,625 - Right, you better give me a minute to freshen up. 231 00:10:13,725 --> 00:10:15,279 D'you know, I can work wonders 232 00:10:15,379 --> 00:10:18,577 with a sink wash and a paper towelette. 233 00:10:18,677 --> 00:10:20,641 Out of interest, who will I be meeting? 234 00:10:20,741 --> 00:10:21,474 - Julie. 235 00:10:21,574 --> 00:10:22,747 - Julie? 236 00:10:22,847 --> 00:10:24,280 Wow, OK. 237 00:10:24,380 --> 00:10:27,053 Right, well, this is going to take more than a paper towelette. 238 00:10:27,153 --> 00:10:27,986 I'm sorry. 239 00:10:28,862 --> 00:10:29,695 Take that. 240 00:10:31,167 --> 00:10:33,630 I'll meet you back here. - Adios! 241 00:10:33,730 --> 00:10:34,563 Yes! 242 00:10:37,492 --> 00:10:39,049 - Ah, ladies, shall I get someone 243 00:10:39,149 --> 00:10:40,745 to remove these returns for you? 244 00:10:40,845 --> 00:10:42,230 Where's Colin? 245 00:10:42,330 --> 00:10:44,080 - He's just gone out. 246 00:10:45,422 --> 00:10:46,155 - Out? 247 00:10:46,255 --> 00:10:48,376 - Helping a customer carry her shopping to her car. 248 00:10:48,476 --> 00:10:49,990 - Oh, excellent, oh, great stuff. 249 00:10:50,090 --> 00:10:51,971 He's really raising his game today. 250 00:10:52,071 --> 00:10:56,929 - Gavin, my darling, you look like a criminal and I like it. 251 00:10:57,029 --> 00:10:59,199 Make sure you wear this for me at home, OK? 252 00:10:59,299 --> 00:11:01,299 Just this, nothing else. 253 00:11:03,171 --> 00:11:04,055 Now, come on, lunch. 254 00:11:04,155 --> 00:11:05,885 - Well, actually, there's rather a lot going on. 255 00:11:05,885 --> 00:11:10,241 - Gavin, don't make me tickle you on the bum-bum again. 256 00:11:10,341 --> 00:11:12,385 - Anna, please! - Oh, it will be fun! 257 00:11:12,485 --> 00:11:15,555 Love is in the air, and I am playing cupid. 258 00:11:15,655 --> 00:11:17,009 - Yes, well, I really don't think I should-- 259 00:11:17,009 --> 00:11:18,926 - Gavin, you will come! 260 00:11:21,680 --> 00:11:24,133 - Oh, just very quickly, then. 261 00:11:24,233 --> 00:11:26,177 - Do you think that's what she says when they're having a shag? 262 00:11:26,177 --> 00:11:27,562 "Gavin, you will come!" 263 00:11:27,662 --> 00:11:29,995 - "Just very quickly, then." 264 00:11:32,725 --> 00:11:35,639 - And I didn't even know you could shave those. 265 00:11:35,739 --> 00:11:36,572 Did you? 266 00:11:37,728 --> 00:11:38,989 - All right, Julie? 267 00:11:39,089 --> 00:11:41,836 - Oh, fine, yes, yes fine. 268 00:11:41,936 --> 00:11:44,641 Anna wants me to go on some awful blind date, 269 00:11:44,741 --> 00:11:46,955 and I don't want to do it. 270 00:11:47,055 --> 00:11:48,361 - Ha, a blind date, here? 271 00:11:48,461 --> 00:11:50,630 - You'd have to be blind to go out with one of them lot. 272 00:11:50,730 --> 00:11:52,243 - Yeah, apart from my Colin. 273 00:11:52,343 --> 00:11:53,481 - Oh, yeah, obviously. 274 00:11:53,581 --> 00:11:54,760 - Yeah. 275 00:11:54,860 --> 00:11:57,356 - So why don't you just tell Anna to piss off, then? 276 00:11:57,456 --> 00:11:59,911 - I can't, she bamboozles me. 277 00:12:00,011 --> 00:12:01,188 It's easier to hide. 278 00:12:01,288 --> 00:12:02,673 - Or you could go? 279 00:12:02,773 --> 00:12:03,805 I mean, you might have a laugh. 280 00:12:03,805 --> 00:12:06,539 - Yeah, just don't end up shagging him on the pool table, 281 00:12:06,639 --> 00:12:09,294 cos that blue chalk gets everywhere. 282 00:12:09,394 --> 00:12:11,189 - I mean, you can't sit there all day. 283 00:12:11,289 --> 00:12:13,207 What have you got to lose? 284 00:12:13,307 --> 00:12:14,487 - Dignity? 285 00:12:14,587 --> 00:12:17,333 - Cos sitting down here's dead dignified! 286 00:12:17,433 --> 00:12:18,823 - Oh, fine. 287 00:12:18,923 --> 00:12:19,840 I'll do it. 288 00:12:21,152 --> 00:12:22,069 - Have fun! 289 00:12:24,122 --> 00:12:27,032 - Oh, it's very pretty, look at that. 290 00:12:27,132 --> 00:12:27,965 No, no. 291 00:12:33,223 --> 00:12:35,601 Here she is, here she is. 292 00:12:35,701 --> 00:12:37,466 - Julie, that's the surprise? 293 00:12:37,566 --> 00:12:38,908 - He'll be here any minute. 294 00:12:39,008 --> 00:12:41,758 - God, who is it? - Wait and see! 295 00:12:42,722 --> 00:12:45,560 - Just as long as it's not Neville. 296 00:12:45,660 --> 00:12:46,577 Oh, Christ. 297 00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:50,097 (beatboxing) 298 00:12:51,327 --> 00:12:53,005 - Whoa, whoa, whoa, don't dance. 299 00:12:53,105 --> 00:12:54,520 Just beats. 300 00:12:54,620 --> 00:12:57,037 (beatboxing) 301 00:12:59,198 --> 00:13:00,169 Oh! 302 00:13:00,269 --> 00:13:02,278 - So there I was, in the restaurant, 303 00:13:02,378 --> 00:13:04,463 thinking I'm about to get lucky, 304 00:13:04,563 --> 00:13:06,530 then who should I see out the back, 305 00:13:06,630 --> 00:13:08,011 climbing into the wheelie bin? 306 00:13:08,111 --> 00:13:09,866 - No, she wasn't? 307 00:13:09,966 --> 00:13:12,458 - Apparently there were no windows in the ladies', 308 00:13:12,558 --> 00:13:14,271 she'd been left with no choice. 309 00:13:14,371 --> 00:13:17,332 - Oh, Neville, that is so funny! 310 00:13:17,432 --> 00:13:18,574 Isn't it, Julie? 311 00:13:18,674 --> 00:13:20,142 Isn't Neville's story funny? 312 00:13:20,242 --> 00:13:23,109 - Look, Anna, I'm sorry, but this just isn't going to work. 313 00:13:23,209 --> 00:13:24,959 - Ah, that's awkward. 314 00:13:31,184 --> 00:13:33,685 - This is really most uncomfortable. 315 00:13:33,785 --> 00:13:34,893 I should be getting back. 316 00:13:34,993 --> 00:13:35,910 - Sit down. 317 00:13:41,562 --> 00:13:44,357 - So, Julie, I was just admiring your figure. 318 00:13:44,457 --> 00:13:48,029 How is it you manage to eat such a heavy carbohydrate-based diet, 319 00:13:48,129 --> 00:13:49,966 and yet stay so slender? 320 00:13:50,066 --> 00:13:50,950 - Oh, please. 321 00:13:51,050 --> 00:13:53,875 - It's just I get terribly bloaty from starchy foods. 322 00:13:53,975 --> 00:13:55,807 - This really is most uncomfortable. 323 00:13:55,907 --> 00:13:56,740 - Julie? 324 00:14:01,426 --> 00:14:03,560 - What sort of music do you listen to, Neville? 325 00:14:03,660 --> 00:14:04,633 - Ah, right. 326 00:14:04,733 --> 00:14:06,392 There's a funny story about that, actually. 327 00:14:06,392 --> 00:14:07,445 - Of course there is. 328 00:14:07,545 --> 00:14:09,838 - Next door's music was getting pretty overwhelming, 329 00:14:09,938 --> 00:14:12,846 and they didn't seem very keen on adjusting the volume, 330 00:14:12,946 --> 00:14:16,305 so I put on my Matt Cardle album. 331 00:14:16,405 --> 00:14:19,026 Now, the next day, I get back to the flat, 332 00:14:19,126 --> 00:14:20,240 the place has been robbed. 333 00:14:20,240 --> 00:14:21,909 - No! - Oh, yes. 334 00:14:22,009 --> 00:14:25,459 And guess what they're playing at full volume next door? 335 00:14:25,559 --> 00:14:27,726 That's right, Matt Cardle. 336 00:14:30,353 --> 00:14:33,882 - What a great story, isn't it, Julie? 337 00:14:33,982 --> 00:14:37,993 - Oh, look, Anna, I'm sorry, I've tried and this just isn't working. 338 00:14:38,093 --> 00:14:40,582 I mean, honestly, me and Neville? 339 00:14:40,682 --> 00:14:43,186 I mean, I'm clearly out of his league. 340 00:14:43,286 --> 00:14:44,051 Sorry, Neville. 341 00:14:44,151 --> 00:14:45,245 - No, no, not at all. 342 00:14:45,345 --> 00:14:49,036 I get it, cupid's arrow misses again! 343 00:14:49,136 --> 00:14:51,263 - What are you wanting, fussy woman? 344 00:14:51,363 --> 00:14:54,114 It can't all be thunder bolts and sexual chemistry 345 00:14:54,214 --> 00:14:55,848 like me and Gavin. 346 00:14:55,948 --> 00:14:57,913 - Oh, fool's gold, not again. 347 00:14:58,013 --> 00:14:58,855 - Oh, do you need me Gavin? 348 00:14:58,855 --> 00:14:59,713 - Oh, yes I do. - No, no! 349 00:14:59,813 --> 00:15:00,945 You don't, do you? 350 00:15:01,045 --> 00:15:03,795 Sit, stay, eat, enjoy each other. 351 00:15:07,312 --> 00:15:11,800 Excuse my English, I mean enjoy the food, not each other. 352 00:15:11,900 --> 00:15:13,414 Maybe save that for later no? 353 00:15:13,514 --> 00:15:14,347 Gavin! 354 00:15:17,391 --> 00:15:19,803 - And then there were two! 355 00:15:19,903 --> 00:15:22,263 - Hands where I can see them, Neville. - Right, yes. 356 00:15:23,494 --> 00:15:25,650 - So what are you going to do about this? - It's all right, guys. 357 00:15:25,650 --> 00:15:28,692 Nothing to worry about here, nothing to worry about. 358 00:15:28,792 --> 00:15:30,458 - Margaret, listen to this. I taught him this. 359 00:15:30,458 --> 00:15:31,480 Go on, Ray, show her. 360 00:15:31,580 --> 00:15:32,558 - Ooh, is it a show? 361 00:15:32,658 --> 00:15:34,242 Ooh, lovely, I love a show. 362 00:15:34,342 --> 00:15:36,259 - I'll get you a chair. 363 00:15:40,618 --> 00:15:44,618 Introducing Valco's very own human beatbox, Ray! 364 00:15:52,343 --> 00:15:54,760 - Oh, dear, that is so funny! 365 00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:57,438 Oh, dear, oh, dear! 366 00:16:00,596 --> 00:16:01,938 - And so, since my first wife 367 00:16:02,038 --> 00:16:04,199 there've not really been that many partners. 368 00:16:04,299 --> 00:16:08,202 I suppose you could say what I lack in experience, 369 00:16:08,302 --> 00:16:10,885 I make up for in sexual health. 370 00:16:11,834 --> 00:16:15,082 - Look, Neville, I'm sorry, but this isn't going to work. 371 00:16:15,182 --> 00:16:16,449 You're just not my type. 372 00:16:16,549 --> 00:16:17,650 - Right you are. 373 00:16:17,750 --> 00:16:20,375 Well, may I ask, just out of curiosity, 374 00:16:20,475 --> 00:16:23,470 what sort of man is your type? 375 00:16:23,570 --> 00:16:26,410 - Well, someone with a keen interest in sports, 376 00:16:26,510 --> 00:16:28,105 say cycling. 377 00:16:28,205 --> 00:16:30,870 A strong, probably blonde man 378 00:16:30,970 --> 00:16:33,636 to just sweep you off your feet and say 379 00:16:33,736 --> 00:16:37,464 "Julie, we've hidden our love for far too long, 380 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:39,064 "our time is now!" 381 00:16:41,575 --> 00:16:42,920 - Right. 382 00:16:43,020 --> 00:16:44,525 - See, nothing. 383 00:16:44,625 --> 00:16:46,463 It's totally dead. 384 00:16:46,563 --> 00:16:50,880 I should probably go on my break, shouldn't I? 385 00:16:50,980 --> 00:16:52,994 - Let's just try switching it off again shall we? 386 00:16:52,994 --> 00:16:53,994 - It is off. 387 00:16:54,971 --> 00:16:56,066 - How exciting is this! 388 00:16:56,166 --> 00:16:58,904 - It's not exciting Richard, it's a disaster. 389 00:16:59,004 --> 00:17:02,244 We've got 14 minutes to get this all fixed before the freezers hit critical. 390 00:17:02,344 --> 00:17:05,050 Our entire frozen goods range will be spoiled! 391 00:17:05,150 --> 00:17:07,319 - All right, Flash Gordon, calm down, yeah. 392 00:17:07,419 --> 00:17:09,503 I'll just, I'll call Julie. 393 00:17:09,603 --> 00:17:11,232 She'll be able to sort it, won't she? 394 00:17:11,332 --> 00:17:12,582 Wahey, no need. 395 00:17:14,886 --> 00:17:16,436 Boom! 396 00:17:16,536 --> 00:17:18,416 - I think it was probably Colin. 397 00:17:18,516 --> 00:17:21,510 He said he'd have a look at it, cos he used to be an electrician. 398 00:17:21,610 --> 00:17:23,253 - Oh, blimey, you know, Colin's on fire today. 399 00:17:23,253 --> 00:17:27,364 I must go and thank him personally. - No, don't do that, he'd hate it. 400 00:17:27,464 --> 00:17:29,104 Modesty's his middle name. 401 00:17:29,204 --> 00:17:31,951 - Is it? - No, it's Stuart. 402 00:17:32,051 --> 00:17:32,884 - No, I. 403 00:17:35,687 --> 00:17:39,665 - She's funny, and vivacious, and she can do the splits. 404 00:17:39,765 --> 00:17:41,523 - I'm sure she can but as I keep saying, I'm gay. 405 00:17:41,623 --> 00:17:42,639 - Are you sure? - Yes. 406 00:17:42,739 --> 00:17:44,333 - How sure? - Really sure. 407 00:17:44,433 --> 00:17:45,733 - Oh, you'll grow out of it. 408 00:17:45,833 --> 00:17:47,256 All men go through a little bit 409 00:17:47,356 --> 00:17:48,861 of a gay stage in my country. 410 00:17:48,961 --> 00:17:50,352 - I'm married. 411 00:17:50,452 --> 00:17:53,449 - I remember when my father said he was gay. 412 00:17:53,549 --> 00:17:56,432 My mother, she laughed and then she laughed until she cried 413 00:17:56,532 --> 00:17:59,418 and then we all sat down and had dinner. And he never mention it again. 414 00:17:59,418 --> 00:18:00,600 It was so funny. 415 00:18:00,700 --> 00:18:01,838 - Guess you had to be there. 416 00:18:01,938 --> 00:18:05,271 - So a date with Julie, what do you say? 417 00:18:06,642 --> 00:18:07,452 - No! 418 00:18:07,552 --> 00:18:09,137 - OK, Mr Grumpy Pants. 419 00:18:09,237 --> 00:18:11,326 Well, you call me when you've grown out of this, 420 00:18:11,426 --> 00:18:13,009 this gay thing, OK? 421 00:18:16,569 --> 00:18:18,649 - Anna, I just wanted to let you know that 422 00:18:18,749 --> 00:18:22,149 I'm actually single at the moment. 423 00:18:22,249 --> 00:18:23,427 - OK. 424 00:18:23,527 --> 00:18:26,444 - So I could have lunch with Julie. 425 00:18:29,882 --> 00:18:30,715 - No. 426 00:18:31,988 --> 00:18:32,721 - Dinner? 427 00:18:32,821 --> 00:18:34,357 - No. 428 00:18:34,457 --> 00:18:35,386 - I can beatbox. 429 00:18:35,486 --> 00:18:36,319 - No! 430 00:18:38,282 --> 00:18:40,699 (beatboxing) 431 00:18:44,019 --> 00:18:45,900 - I'm sorry about the hoody thing. 432 00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:48,005 I should have realised that you're already 433 00:18:48,105 --> 00:18:52,204 as good as any man could ever possibly be. 434 00:18:52,304 --> 00:18:53,734 - Oh, it's all right, Julie. 435 00:18:53,834 --> 00:18:54,869 I'm sorry, too. 436 00:18:54,969 --> 00:18:57,189 It's that so much has changed. 437 00:18:57,289 --> 00:18:59,409 And I must admit that I do take a lot of comfort 438 00:18:59,509 --> 00:19:03,073 from the familiarity of a Debenhams two-piece. 439 00:19:03,173 --> 00:19:06,227 - Look at this, the two pieces of my heart together. 440 00:19:06,327 --> 00:19:07,212 I love it! 441 00:19:07,312 --> 00:19:08,285 - Anna. 442 00:19:08,385 --> 00:19:10,184 - OK, so you don't like Neville, 443 00:19:10,284 --> 00:19:12,574 but I think I've found you someone else for next time. 444 00:19:12,674 --> 00:19:13,985 - There won't be a next time, Anna. 445 00:19:14,085 --> 00:19:14,818 - But why? 446 00:19:14,918 --> 00:19:17,740 - Because I don't want anyone interfering in my life, OK? 447 00:19:17,840 --> 00:19:19,226 I'm very happy as I am. 448 00:19:19,326 --> 00:19:21,823 So just back off, will you? 449 00:19:21,923 --> 00:19:22,756 Please. 450 00:19:24,859 --> 00:19:25,751 - Julie, wait. 451 00:19:25,851 --> 00:19:28,721 - No, I'd just leave here if I were you. 452 00:19:28,821 --> 00:19:30,246 - I see it now! 453 00:19:30,346 --> 00:19:31,079 - What? 454 00:19:31,179 --> 00:19:32,145 - Of course. 455 00:19:32,245 --> 00:19:34,869 It's been staring me in the face all along. 456 00:19:34,969 --> 00:19:36,728 How could I be so blind? 457 00:19:36,828 --> 00:19:39,705 Her heart belongs to someone else. 458 00:19:39,805 --> 00:19:41,598 - No, I think it was more to do with Neville. 459 00:19:41,698 --> 00:19:42,712 And to be honest Anna, 460 00:19:42,812 --> 00:19:45,518 I'm not sure that Julie really goes for the bad boy type. 461 00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,953 - So who could it be? 462 00:19:48,053 --> 00:19:51,053 Who has the key to her heart, Gavin? 463 00:19:52,303 --> 00:19:55,720 - Well, I'll leave that one to you, Anna. 464 00:19:59,533 --> 00:20:01,912 - So are you staying overnight in this hotel, then? 465 00:20:02,012 --> 00:20:04,527 - Well, not the whole night because there's a wedding fair on tomorrow 466 00:20:04,527 --> 00:20:06,533 so he could only get us a couple of hours in it. 467 00:20:06,633 --> 00:20:08,228 - So it's an early dinner, 468 00:20:08,328 --> 00:20:11,410 a couple of hours in a hotel and then he's off home? 469 00:20:11,510 --> 00:20:12,243 - Yeah. 470 00:20:12,343 --> 00:20:14,428 - Back home to his wife and kids. - What? 471 00:20:14,528 --> 00:20:17,100 - Oh, come on, Linda, it's obvious. 472 00:20:17,200 --> 00:20:18,791 - What is? - Your fella. 473 00:20:18,891 --> 00:20:20,807 - What about him? - He's married! 474 00:20:20,907 --> 00:20:22,292 - No, he isn't. 475 00:20:22,392 --> 00:20:26,881 He only wears the ring on that finger because it doesn't fit his other hand. 476 00:20:28,306 --> 00:20:29,280 Bastard, I'll kill him! 477 00:20:29,380 --> 00:20:30,624 - Wait till he's bought you dinner though, eh? 478 00:20:30,624 --> 00:20:32,171 - Too bloody right I will. 479 00:20:32,271 --> 00:20:33,004 Yeah. 480 00:20:33,104 --> 00:20:34,183 - Calm down. 481 00:20:34,283 --> 00:20:37,033 - Bastard. - I know, love, I know. 482 00:20:38,038 --> 00:20:38,771 - Night, Gavin. 483 00:20:38,871 --> 00:20:39,853 - Yes, night, night, Nev. 484 00:20:39,953 --> 00:20:42,786 Oh, Neville, sorry, before you go. 485 00:20:43,827 --> 00:20:44,589 About lunch. 486 00:20:44,689 --> 00:20:47,858 Anna can get a bit carried away sometimes. 487 00:20:47,958 --> 00:20:50,827 I hope it wasn't all too uncomfortable for you. 488 00:20:50,927 --> 00:20:51,903 - Oh, no, no. 489 00:20:52,003 --> 00:20:53,514 I thought it went rather well. 490 00:20:53,614 --> 00:20:54,919 - Did you? 491 00:20:55,019 --> 00:20:57,767 Not a bit, you know, humiliating? 492 00:20:57,867 --> 00:21:01,153 - No, not at all and I know humiliating. 493 00:21:01,253 --> 00:21:04,003 No, roll on a second date, say I. 494 00:21:06,252 --> 00:21:07,252 - Brilliant. 495 00:21:09,380 --> 00:21:10,807 (laughing) 496 00:21:10,907 --> 00:21:12,583 - Hi. - Oh, hello. 497 00:21:12,683 --> 00:21:14,233 - Hi. - Hello. 498 00:21:14,333 --> 00:21:16,216 - Hi. - Hello! 499 00:21:16,316 --> 00:21:17,493 Oh, hello, hi. 500 00:21:17,593 --> 00:21:19,510 Sorry, Leighton, hello. 501 00:21:26,429 --> 00:21:29,012 (upbeat music)