1
00:00:01,303 --> 00:00:03,383
Valco. Serves you right. I'm nervous.
2
00:00:03,539 --> 00:00:05,758
Am I allowed to say hello
to my children?
3
00:00:05,759 --> 00:00:08,739
Can she stop that now? Valco!
4
00:00:08,959 --> 00:00:12,178
Red-hot deals. Offers on everything
from booze to biscuits.
5
00:00:12,179 --> 00:00:13,779
Loads of two for ones.
6
00:00:13,919 --> 00:00:16,939
Fresh produce. Delivered daily.
Am I getting paid for this?
7
00:00:17,119 --> 00:00:19,518
When is lunch?
Don't forget the Valco tick.
8
00:00:19,519 --> 00:00:21,298
No.
9
00:00:21,299 --> 00:00:22,959
Serves you right.
10
00:00:23,019 --> 00:00:24,479
Serves you right.
11
00:00:24,639 --> 00:00:27,679
Valco! Serves you right!
12
00:00:27,704 --> 00:00:29,694
Subtitles by MemoryOnSmells
http://UKsubtitles.ru.
13
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# Good King Wenceslas
last looked out
14
00:00:32,559 --> 00:00:34,739
# On the feast of Stephen
15
00:00:34,879 --> 00:00:36,979
# When the snow lay round about
16
00:00:37,059 --> 00:00:39,759
# Deep and crisp and even
17
00:00:39,819 --> 00:00:42,259
# Brightly shone the moon that
night... #
18
00:00:50,536 --> 00:00:53,056
Don't. I can't.
19
00:00:53,156 --> 00:00:55,956
Stop it.
I am gonna piss myself.
20
00:00:56,136 --> 00:00:59,016
This is sexy. Look at your ears!
21
00:00:59,176 --> 00:01:02,375
Oh, look at them, Julie.
22
00:01:02,376 --> 00:01:06,855
Christmas Eve, and they can't fill
their trolleys fast enough.
23
00:01:06,856 --> 00:01:08,935
Thank God the staff are on fire.
24
00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:11,796
It's amazing what the promise of
a Christmas party
25
00:01:11,956 --> 00:01:15,176
and a free bar can do. You
are spoiling them this year, Gavin.
26
00:01:15,316 --> 00:01:19,156
I know, but I can't help myself.
Look at their little faces.
27
00:01:19,196 --> 00:01:21,556
This is what Christmas is all about,
really.
28
00:01:21,676 --> 00:01:24,796
Margaret, other way around.
Turn the sign.
29
00:01:24,976 --> 00:01:27,016
I can't wait for the party, man.
30
00:01:27,156 --> 00:01:29,096
The last Christmas party I went to,
31
00:01:29,256 --> 00:01:32,456
I got so drunk, I threw up
in my own hands.
32
00:01:32,616 --> 00:01:34,215
It was hilarious.
33
00:01:34,216 --> 00:01:36,056
I can't wait either.
34
00:01:36,176 --> 00:01:38,696
Hey... Look at this.
35
00:01:38,856 --> 00:01:40,756
It's my party shirt, for the party.
36
00:01:40,836 --> 00:01:43,176
It's a fish.
37
00:01:43,196 --> 00:01:45,256
It's really bright...
38
00:01:45,396 --> 00:01:47,976
Yeah, thanks. Do you want to hear
my speech for the party?
39
00:01:48,136 --> 00:01:50,996
Er... You don't need a speech
for a party. Yeah, you do.
40
00:01:51,156 --> 00:01:54,356
I have been to a party. Everybody
does a speech about my nana.
41
00:01:54,536 --> 00:01:56,455
Your nana? Yeah.
42
00:01:56,456 --> 00:01:58,695
Hang on. This party you went to...
43
00:01:58,696 --> 00:02:01,396
Was it after your nana's funeral?
Yeah.
44
00:02:01,496 --> 00:02:04,295
Listen, Julie, by all means feel
free to say no...
45
00:02:04,296 --> 00:02:06,836
I could never say no to you, Gavin.
46
00:02:07,016 --> 00:02:09,896
I am just wondering if you would
like to come to mine
47
00:02:10,036 --> 00:02:12,616
for Christmas dinner tomorrow? Me?!
48
00:02:12,696 --> 00:02:14,355
Come to yours?
49
00:02:14,356 --> 00:02:16,276
To your house?
50
00:02:16,456 --> 00:02:18,516
Actually inside this time?!
51
00:02:18,676 --> 00:02:22,015
Yes, isn't it boring?
I would love to, I would love to!
52
00:02:22,016 --> 00:02:25,735
Oh, that's - I would love to, love
to, love to, love to...
53
00:02:25,736 --> 00:02:27,316
I'd love to, love to, love to.
54
00:02:30,656 --> 00:02:32,775
Never shagged an elf before.
55
00:02:32,776 --> 00:02:34,995
And you never will
if you don't shut up.
56
00:02:34,996 --> 00:02:37,895
All right.
Don't get your tights in a twist!
57
00:02:37,896 --> 00:02:39,955
You're an idiot!
58
00:02:39,956 --> 00:02:42,276
You don't have to cook tomorrow.
It's fine.
59
00:02:42,336 --> 00:02:44,295
My nan can do it. She is fine
60
00:02:44,296 --> 00:02:46,695
as long as she doesn't stand up
for too long.
61
00:02:46,696 --> 00:02:49,076
But I want to cook it.
62
00:02:49,236 --> 00:02:52,296
But, Lisa, you have never cooked
anything before.
63
00:02:52,456 --> 00:02:55,496
Are you sure you want to cook a full
Christmas dinner? Of course I do.
64
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,416
Anything for my elf.
65
00:02:57,576 --> 00:02:59,716
I'm going to be your domestic
goddess.
66
00:02:59,776 --> 00:03:02,196
Oh, yes.
67
00:03:05,256 --> 00:03:07,476
Ooh, lucky old Colin, eh?
68
00:03:07,636 --> 00:03:10,036
Wish I had a domestic goddess to go
home to.
69
00:03:10,056 --> 00:03:13,236
Or just a woman.
Yeah, well, got to up my game.
70
00:03:13,396 --> 00:03:16,936
Caught him knocking one out to
Nigella's Christmas yesterday.
71
00:03:17,076 --> 00:03:18,856
Oh, well, we've all been there.
72
00:03:19,016 --> 00:03:21,076
Yes, a remarkable lady.
73
00:03:21,256 --> 00:03:24,135
If that's what he likes, that's what
he's going to get.
74
00:03:24,136 --> 00:03:27,016
A proper Nigella. Or a Hairy Biker?
75
00:03:29,396 --> 00:03:35,496
# Jesus, the saviour, is born #
76
00:03:35,656 --> 00:03:37,736
- All right, boys. Break time.
- Yes!
77
00:03:40,416 --> 00:03:42,536
And don't run!
78
00:03:42,676 --> 00:03:44,776
Oh, isn't it wonderful?
79
00:03:44,856 --> 00:03:47,176
All that Christmas cheer.
80
00:03:47,336 --> 00:03:49,095
All those smiling faces
81
00:03:49,096 --> 00:03:51,616
sprinkled with the magic dust
of Christmas joy.
82
00:03:51,716 --> 00:03:57,416
It certainly does make all
the hard work really worthwhile.
83
00:03:57,556 --> 00:03:59,936
So, what do you do the rest
of the year?
84
00:04:00,136 --> 00:04:03,656
I mean, there can't be much more
dressing-up work out there?
85
00:04:03,796 --> 00:04:05,735
Dressing up?
86
00:04:05,736 --> 00:04:07,296
Oh...
87
00:04:11,656 --> 00:04:13,696
Now, what would I know
about dressing up?
88
00:04:13,896 --> 00:04:18,216
No, once tonight is over, it is
straight back to the North Pole.
89
00:04:18,296 --> 00:04:21,075
Start work on next year's toys.
90
00:04:21,076 --> 00:04:23,076
Yeah, course you will...
91
00:04:23,116 --> 00:04:26,696
Oh, can you believe we get to be
elves?! Mate, we look like twats.
92
00:04:26,856 --> 00:04:29,256
Do you think Santa will take us to
the North Pole
93
00:04:29,396 --> 00:04:31,655
to help out in the toy factory?
Yeah, probably...
94
00:04:31,656 --> 00:04:35,315
What are you dressed as? Bellends?
It's what your mam likes me to wear.
95
00:04:35,316 --> 00:04:38,195
Something funny?
96
00:04:38,196 --> 00:04:40,936
No, sir. Sorry, sir. Good!
97
00:04:42,456 --> 00:04:44,436
Whoa!
98
00:04:45,396 --> 00:04:47,956
Leighton, what was that?
I didn't want any trouble.
99
00:04:48,136 --> 00:04:49,716
You can't have that, Leighton!
100
00:04:49,876 --> 00:04:53,256
Now I'm gonna go smack them about a
bit. No, don't mess with the Scouts!
101
00:04:53,396 --> 00:04:56,455
You what? It's my golden rule.
Take it from the Beaver.
102
00:04:56,456 --> 00:04:58,436
You do not mess with the Scouts.
103
00:04:58,496 --> 00:05:01,875
What about you? Got anything special
planned for tomorrow?
104
00:05:01,876 --> 00:05:04,755
I shall be coming into quite a bit
of money over Christmas.
105
00:05:04,756 --> 00:05:07,955
Oh, another kidney? No, no,
I've got to hold onto that one.
106
00:05:07,956 --> 00:05:11,336
I'm having a flutter on it being
a white Christmas.
107
00:05:11,476 --> 00:05:13,255
The weather says it's going to rain.
108
00:05:13,256 --> 00:05:15,656
That's why the odds are so good.
20 to 1.
109
00:05:15,796 --> 00:05:18,375
How much have you put on this bet?
£1,000.
110
00:05:18,376 --> 00:05:21,556
That's a lot of money.
Yes, it is a lot, isn't it?
111
00:05:21,736 --> 00:05:24,356
Luckily, there are some very friendly
lenders on the estate.
112
00:05:24,416 --> 00:05:26,376
We managed to scrape it all together.
113
00:05:40,616 --> 00:05:44,295
Helen... What brings
you all the way to Warrington?
114
00:05:44,296 --> 00:05:46,216
Let me show you through
to the office.
115
00:05:46,376 --> 00:05:49,715
Widnes branch is in meltdown.
Manager lost it with a customer.
116
00:05:49,716 --> 00:05:52,936
Well, it happens to us all.
A few seconds ago, I was a red mist.
117
00:05:53,096 --> 00:05:55,556
Couldn't control himself.
Bit the customer.
118
00:05:55,616 --> 00:05:57,736
Mistletoe and Wine! Mike Sull?
119
00:05:57,896 --> 00:06:00,435
That's why I'm here.
Mike's position needs filling,
120
00:06:00,436 --> 00:06:02,836
and I've heard good stuff
about Julie.
121
00:06:02,996 --> 00:06:06,215
If it's OK by you, I'm going to ask
her to step in. Who's Julie?!
122
00:06:06,216 --> 00:06:09,316
We would need her for Boxing Day.
Can't let the place run rudderless.
123
00:06:09,456 --> 00:06:11,175
Not after a biting.
124
00:06:11,176 --> 00:06:13,096
No, of course not.
125
00:06:13,256 --> 00:06:16,615
Well um... It will be a big loss,
but um...
126
00:06:16,616 --> 00:06:19,175
Yes. You should absolutely ask her.
127
00:06:19,176 --> 00:06:21,156
She would be perfect.
128
00:06:21,296 --> 00:06:23,476
Brilliant.
129
00:06:24,936 --> 00:06:27,155
Oh... Nice hat!
130
00:06:27,156 --> 00:06:30,196
Please could I have my hat back?
Take it off me.
131
00:06:30,376 --> 00:06:31,816
No, you're all right.
It's yours now.
132
00:06:33,876 --> 00:06:36,036
I'm not having that!
133
00:06:36,276 --> 00:06:39,496
No, no, Colin, don't. I'm just going
to give them a little kicking, man.
134
00:06:39,576 --> 00:06:41,736
No, don't mess with the Scouts!
135
00:06:43,716 --> 00:06:45,555
Mike Sull?! A biter?!
136
00:06:45,556 --> 00:06:47,816
I mean, we've all thought
about doing it,
137
00:06:47,956 --> 00:06:50,855
but to actually go through with it...
138
00:06:50,856 --> 00:06:54,215
Long story short, his job is yours
if you want it.
139
00:06:54,216 --> 00:06:56,435
Me? Managing Widnes?
140
00:06:56,436 --> 00:06:58,995
Not a bad branch, Julie.
Up-and-coming.
141
00:06:58,996 --> 00:07:01,856
You could make it your own.
Yes, I know, but...
142
00:07:01,936 --> 00:07:05,576
I-I couldn't possibly leave here.
143
00:07:05,656 --> 00:07:07,396
Gavin couldn't cope.
144
00:07:07,456 --> 00:07:09,895
He said it wouldn't be a problem.
Did he?
145
00:07:09,896 --> 00:07:12,435
Well, I am sure
he is only saying that.
146
00:07:12,436 --> 00:07:14,536
It's his way.
147
00:07:14,696 --> 00:07:17,716
Strong on the outside.
Doesn't let his feelings ooze out.
148
00:07:17,896 --> 00:07:20,036
Like a creme egg.
149
00:07:20,096 --> 00:07:22,855
Are you saying no? I'm afraid so.
150
00:07:22,856 --> 00:07:24,776
Gavin needs me.
151
00:07:24,936 --> 00:07:27,176
Right. Well, it's your decision.
If you don't -
152
00:07:27,256 --> 00:07:29,555
Not just professionally, either.
153
00:07:29,556 --> 00:07:33,715
Gavin and I have always had a very
close personal bond.
154
00:07:33,716 --> 00:07:35,076
I really should be getting on.
155
00:07:35,316 --> 00:07:39,956
It's like we share the same mind.
The same feelings.
156
00:07:41,316 --> 00:07:43,335
Dubai, Monday, 33 degrees.
157
00:07:43,336 --> 00:07:45,555
Tuesday, 33 degrees.
158
00:07:45,556 --> 00:07:47,316
Wednesday, 33 degrees.
159
00:07:47,496 --> 00:07:49,096
Thursday... Have a guess.
160
00:07:49,176 --> 00:07:51,156
33 degrees?
161
00:07:51,336 --> 00:07:53,255
No. 32. But that's still well hot.
162
00:07:53,256 --> 00:07:57,095
Just think, this time tomorrow,
you will be slaving over a stove,
163
00:07:57,096 --> 00:08:00,296
and I will be on a beach drinking
cocktails. No, you won't.
164
00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:04,295
Because you can't drink in public
in Dubai. It's against the law.
165
00:08:04,296 --> 00:08:07,655
Are you telling me I can't even have
a cocktail on the beach?
166
00:08:07,656 --> 00:08:09,876
Afraid not.
But at least you won't get drunk
167
00:08:09,956 --> 00:08:11,955
and cop off with Neville again.
168
00:08:11,956 --> 00:08:13,736
We don't talk about that night, Sue!
169
00:08:15,796 --> 00:08:18,375
Friday... 33 degrees.
170
00:08:18,376 --> 00:08:20,616
Yes!
171
00:08:29,396 --> 00:08:33,716
Eh? Spice up your life. Eh?!
172
00:08:33,736 --> 00:08:35,476
Do you get it?
173
00:08:35,556 --> 00:08:37,895
Yeah. Good one...
174
00:08:37,896 --> 00:08:41,876
Prick.
175
00:08:42,036 --> 00:08:45,416
I don't see a man.
I see a way of life.
176
00:08:45,496 --> 00:08:47,796
The Gavin Strong way.
177
00:08:47,976 --> 00:08:52,136
I'm getting goosebumps just
thinking about him.
178
00:08:52,216 --> 00:08:54,216
I really have to -
179
00:08:54,376 --> 00:08:57,156
It must have been so hard for him.
All those years...
180
00:08:57,216 --> 00:09:01,715
To do his job, all the while
desperate to take me in his arms
181
00:09:01,716 --> 00:09:04,756
and confess his true feelings for me.
182
00:09:07,636 --> 00:09:10,355
Oh, no. What happened?
183
00:09:10,356 --> 00:09:13,156
The Scouts, man. They did something.
184
00:09:13,216 --> 00:09:15,336
No, no, it's OK.
185
00:09:15,476 --> 00:09:18,835
Look at what they did to my arm,
Leighton!
186
00:09:18,836 --> 00:09:21,416
Ooh, Chinese burn with traces of
Indian burn, too.
187
00:09:21,576 --> 00:09:24,455
I have never seen one like it.
They seemed to come from nowhere.
188
00:09:24,456 --> 00:09:27,496
I tried to warn you.
You don't mess with the Scouts!
189
00:09:27,656 --> 00:09:29,256
No! Oh, no, what are you doing?
190
00:09:29,416 --> 00:09:32,915
No. They started this,
but I am going to finish it.
191
00:09:32,916 --> 00:09:36,416
You don't know what you're saying.
It's the burn - It's war!
192
00:09:37,556 --> 00:09:39,475
We are going to take
these Scouts down.
193
00:09:39,476 --> 00:09:42,436
Every last one of them.
194
00:09:52,573 --> 00:09:57,213
Yeah!
195
00:09:57,233 --> 00:09:59,393
You might want to watch it there.
It's slippy.
196
00:09:59,477 --> 00:10:02,857
It's happening. Can you believe it?
You like the snow, do you?
197
00:10:02,997 --> 00:10:05,897
That is not snow. That is money
falling from the sky.
198
00:10:06,057 --> 00:10:08,117
Excuse me.
199
00:10:08,297 --> 00:10:11,656
All right, Neville?
Mike, I'm surprised to see you.
200
00:10:11,657 --> 00:10:14,537
Ian, this is my old best friend Mike.
201
00:10:14,697 --> 00:10:17,737
The one who ran off with your wife?
Yes. Yes... So...
202
00:10:17,877 --> 00:10:19,976
What brings you here, my amigo?
203
00:10:19,977 --> 00:10:22,997
Vanessa has sent me out to get the
Christmas dinner stuff.
204
00:10:23,177 --> 00:10:26,696
You know what she's like. I was
married to her for 20 years, until...
205
00:10:26,697 --> 00:10:28,697
Nev, do you know where the nut
roast would be?
206
00:10:30,697 --> 00:10:32,777
Yes, of course. Follow me.
207
00:10:32,937 --> 00:10:35,317
Nut roast?
You've not gone veggie, have you?
208
00:10:35,337 --> 00:10:38,377
No, your Alice has. It happened
after she got back from India.
209
00:10:38,457 --> 00:10:40,137
She went to India?!
210
00:10:40,297 --> 00:10:42,376
Oh, she never mentioned it.
Lucky you.
211
00:10:42,377 --> 00:10:46,117
She has been banging on to me about
it for months.
212
00:10:50,437 --> 00:10:53,416
Oh, my God. Geri?
213
00:10:53,417 --> 00:10:55,976
It is, isn't it? Yeah.
214
00:10:55,977 --> 00:10:59,177
I'm a massive fan. I have got all
of your albums.
215
00:10:59,237 --> 00:11:02,837
Except your solo ones. Oh... Cheers.
216
00:11:02,997 --> 00:11:06,057
I can't believe you're here.
In Valco.
217
00:11:06,197 --> 00:11:09,736
I mean... God...
I used to worship you.
218
00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:12,597
I had the Union Jack dress
and everything.
219
00:11:12,777 --> 00:11:14,677
I wanted to be just like you.
220
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,597
It's always nice to meet a fan.
221
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:20,456
I dyed my hair ginger.
Even downstairs.
222
00:11:20,457 --> 00:11:22,837
Oh... Great.
223
00:11:22,997 --> 00:11:26,216
It ended up getting me expelled,
though.
224
00:11:26,217 --> 00:11:29,417
This lad called me 'Fanta pants',
so I smacked him in the face.
225
00:11:29,497 --> 00:11:31,077
Girl power.
226
00:11:31,137 --> 00:11:33,417
Girl power...
227
00:11:35,317 --> 00:11:37,157
Oh, do be careful, madam.
228
00:11:37,217 --> 00:11:40,596
Ah, Julie... We are all out of grit
and the snow is settling.
229
00:11:40,597 --> 00:11:44,597
I know, but we need more. A man has
just slipped by the Henry Helicopter.
230
00:11:44,677 --> 00:11:47,457
What about salt? Great thinking.
231
00:11:47,637 --> 00:11:51,177
Grab as many value drums as you can
and just start sprinkling.
232
00:11:51,337 --> 00:11:54,037
Oh, and congratulations,
by the way.
233
00:11:54,217 --> 00:11:56,936
I am sure you will make Widnes
a roaring success.
234
00:11:56,937 --> 00:12:00,756
Widnes? Oh, God no.
I turned them down.
235
00:12:00,757 --> 00:12:02,857
Turned them down?! But why?
236
00:12:03,017 --> 00:12:06,697
Because, silly, I've got everything
I need here.
237
00:12:11,317 --> 00:12:14,196
Doing Christmas dinner, then? Yeah.
238
00:12:14,197 --> 00:12:16,136
Me, too. You've forgot your spuds.
239
00:12:16,137 --> 00:12:18,496
Do you want someone to get them
for you?
240
00:12:18,497 --> 00:12:20,457
I don't eat carbs.
241
00:12:20,517 --> 00:12:23,157
Pasta, rice, potatoes.
242
00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:26,517
You do know chips come from
potatoes, right?
243
00:12:26,597 --> 00:12:29,577
Yeah... So, you don't eat chips?
244
00:12:29,717 --> 00:12:31,477
No. It's how I stay in shape.
245
00:12:31,557 --> 00:12:34,696
No carbs at all. Especially chips.
246
00:12:34,697 --> 00:12:36,617
Wow. No carbs.
247
00:12:36,757 --> 00:12:39,977
I might give that a go myself.
248
00:12:40,057 --> 00:12:41,897
After I've finished these off.
249
00:12:43,617 --> 00:12:45,897
Oh, and these.
250
00:12:49,057 --> 00:12:50,817
Do you want one?
251
00:12:50,897 --> 00:12:52,457
No, I'm all right, thanks.
252
00:12:59,757 --> 00:13:02,196
So, is that clear, boys?
We ambush them.
253
00:13:02,197 --> 00:13:04,297
We take as many as we can,
254
00:13:04,457 --> 00:13:06,356
we kick the crap out of them.
255
00:13:06,357 --> 00:13:08,436
Any questions? Why we going to beat
up a load of kids?
256
00:13:08,437 --> 00:13:11,157
Because they're little shits.
But why do we have to?
257
00:13:11,317 --> 00:13:13,576
They haven't done anything to us.
You reckon?
258
00:13:13,577 --> 00:13:16,276
They called you two a pair of
knobheads. What?
259
00:13:16,277 --> 00:13:19,976
I didn't want to say, but they said
you were a big pair of knobheads.
260
00:13:19,977 --> 00:13:22,696
The absolute nerve!
What gives them the right?
261
00:13:22,697 --> 00:13:24,997
We are just two guys trying to
sell fish.
262
00:13:25,257 --> 00:13:27,498
Why do they have to say things like
that? Hurtful things.
263
00:13:27,637 --> 00:13:30,036
I know. I know.
They don't even know us.
264
00:13:30,037 --> 00:13:32,617
So, this is why we have got to teach
them a lesson.
265
00:13:32,777 --> 00:13:35,177
OK? So, basically... Arghh!
266
00:13:38,697 --> 00:13:41,737
Retreat! Retreat!
267
00:13:45,397 --> 00:13:48,097
Had better get some aspirin for
Vanessa's neck.
268
00:13:48,297 --> 00:13:51,636
Is she still getting that?
Yeah, she's always joking about it.
269
00:13:51,637 --> 00:13:55,157
'Got rid of one pain in the neck,
why can't I get rid of this one?'
270
00:13:57,397 --> 00:13:59,796
Still got that wicked sense
of humour.
271
00:13:59,797 --> 00:14:02,057
You should get her
to the chiropractor.
272
00:14:02,137 --> 00:14:04,276
That used to sort her out.
273
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:07,477
She would see him three,
four times a week. Really?
274
00:14:07,637 --> 00:14:09,716
Yes. He would give her quite
the workout.
275
00:14:09,717 --> 00:14:12,917
On her back.
Flip her over onto her front.
276
00:14:13,097 --> 00:14:15,177
Bending her this way and that.
277
00:14:16,777 --> 00:14:19,497
You... You were the chiropractor,
weren't you?
278
00:14:19,617 --> 00:14:22,837
Sorry, mate. Water under the bridge.
279
00:14:23,017 --> 00:14:25,557
Right. Next up... Paxo.
280
00:14:25,717 --> 00:14:28,317
These shoes are killing me. Do you
mind if I go and have a coffee?
281
00:14:28,437 --> 00:14:30,377
No, no. You carry on.
282
00:14:30,457 --> 00:14:33,417
I shall... I shall carry on here.
283
00:14:37,737 --> 00:14:39,977
One all.
284
00:14:42,297 --> 00:14:44,437
Giblets.
285
00:14:44,457 --> 00:14:47,316
What the...?
286
00:14:47,317 --> 00:14:50,117
The toughest houses are the modern
ones. No chimneys.
287
00:14:50,177 --> 00:14:52,136
Of course they are.
288
00:14:52,137 --> 00:14:55,016
The trouble I have getting presents
down those. Except you don't.
289
00:14:55,017 --> 00:14:59,316
Who do you think delivers Christmas
presents, then? The Easter Bunny?
290
00:14:59,317 --> 00:15:01,717
Nobody frigging does!
291
00:15:01,797 --> 00:15:03,976
There's no need to fight Santa.
Shut up!
292
00:15:03,977 --> 00:15:06,057
You are not Santa.
293
00:15:06,117 --> 00:15:08,297
You are a bloke, in a beard,
294
00:15:08,457 --> 00:15:13,477
who is getting paid five pounds an
hour to PRETEND to be Santa
295
00:15:13,617 --> 00:15:15,497
to a bunch of kids!
296
00:15:25,557 --> 00:15:28,456
Have you got a minute, Margaret?
I need your help.
297
00:15:28,457 --> 00:15:30,437
Of course, love. What is it?
298
00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:32,937
I promised Colin I would cook
Christmas dinner,
299
00:15:33,057 --> 00:15:35,176
but I haven't got a clue
what I'm doing.
300
00:15:35,177 --> 00:15:38,196
You must have done loads of them
before, cos you're old.
301
00:15:38,197 --> 00:15:40,617
Yeah, I have. Hmm...
Where to start, though?
302
00:15:40,777 --> 00:15:43,957
Do you want turkey?
I was thinking turkey, yeah.
303
00:15:44,937 --> 00:15:46,997
Or burgers.
304
00:15:47,077 --> 00:15:49,236
Merry Christmas!
305
00:15:49,237 --> 00:15:52,116
Merry Christmas!
Oh, you've got snow on you.
306
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:56,757
I'm sure that once she's thought
about it, she'll change her mind.
307
00:15:58,857 --> 00:16:01,556
See, the thing about Julie is she
lacks confidence.
308
00:16:01,557 --> 00:16:03,157
I think in her mind,
309
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:06,536
she thinks she doesn't have what it
takes to be a manager. Without me.
310
00:16:06,537 --> 00:16:08,936
I will give her a pep talk.
311
00:16:08,937 --> 00:16:11,657
All right, then. Thanks, Helen.
312
00:16:11,737 --> 00:16:13,357
Merry Christmas, Mr Snowman!
313
00:16:13,577 --> 00:16:17,256
Ah, here she is...
The wonderful Julie Cook.
314
00:16:17,257 --> 00:16:20,037
My Christmas cracker!
315
00:16:20,177 --> 00:16:22,836
Oh, Gavin.
316
00:16:22,837 --> 00:16:26,057
Now, listen, about you turning down
this Widnes job.
317
00:16:26,117 --> 00:16:28,937
Oh, it isn't - I think I really know
what is going on.
318
00:16:29,097 --> 00:16:32,937
You do? I do. And I think we need to
talk about this, don't we?
319
00:16:33,037 --> 00:16:35,316
Yes. Yes, I suppose we do.
320
00:16:35,317 --> 00:16:38,537
So, why don't you pop by my office
when we're done here,
321
00:16:38,677 --> 00:16:41,256
and then finally we can have a
proper chat about it.
322
00:16:41,257 --> 00:16:44,037
Just the two of us.
323
00:16:44,097 --> 00:16:46,197
I will see you later.
324
00:16:48,937 --> 00:16:51,397
Have a great Christmas.
325
00:16:51,457 --> 00:16:54,217
Give love to my kids.
Yeah, been great seeing you.
326
00:16:54,277 --> 00:16:56,276
Yeah, you too, mate.
327
00:16:56,277 --> 00:16:59,817
You are a good friend, Neville.
I don't know why she ever left you.
328
00:16:59,977 --> 00:17:02,517
Oh, yes I do. Guilty as charged!
329
00:17:04,257 --> 00:17:07,157
God, it's really coming down.
330
00:17:07,237 --> 00:17:09,997
Still got the snow, Neville.
331
00:17:10,217 --> 00:17:12,297
Still got the snow!
332
00:17:13,237 --> 00:17:15,817
Guys, I really don't think we should
be doing this.
333
00:17:15,977 --> 00:17:18,917
Of course we should. They're only
little. It's the Scouts!
334
00:17:18,977 --> 00:17:20,897
You don't know
what they're capable of.
335
00:17:21,077 --> 00:17:24,617
I saw them hang this one guy off a
tree branch. He was there all night.
336
00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:27,177
Was this guy you? Yeah.
337
00:17:27,237 --> 00:17:30,036
The Fire Brigade had to come and cut
me out of my backpack.
338
00:17:30,037 --> 00:17:32,937
Leighton, you have let the Scouts
push you around.
339
00:17:33,097 --> 00:17:36,136
This is your chance to get some
payback!
340
00:17:36,137 --> 00:17:38,516
Colin, they are dangerous.
Leighton!
341
00:17:38,517 --> 00:17:40,777
If you can't do this for yourself...
342
00:17:42,017 --> 00:17:45,096
do it for the backpack.
343
00:17:45,097 --> 00:17:49,256
It was a good backpack.
And they ruined it.
344
00:17:49,257 --> 00:17:51,717
I mean, once the straps were cut,
it wouldn't stay on.
345
00:17:51,757 --> 00:17:53,417
I loved that backpack!
346
00:17:53,557 --> 00:17:56,756
Yes, Leighton! I'm not going to be
pushed around any more.
347
00:17:56,757 --> 00:17:59,017
Let it out, fella! Let's get them!
348
00:17:59,097 --> 00:18:02,057
Yes! We've got a war to win!
349
00:18:03,857 --> 00:18:05,877
Right, synchronise watches.
350
00:18:06,017 --> 00:18:10,057
Just got to wait for the little B
to catch up with the big B.
351
00:18:10,137 --> 00:18:11,957
Yes!
352
00:18:12,757 --> 00:18:15,977
What about now? I'm not checking
the flight every 10 seconds.
353
00:18:16,117 --> 00:18:18,537
If it was cancelled, it would say
'cancelled.'
354
00:18:18,677 --> 00:18:20,517
Sorry.
355
00:18:20,577 --> 00:18:22,637
No, you're right. It will be fine.
356
00:18:22,857 --> 00:18:26,376
So, are you coming to the party
tonight, Linda?
357
00:18:26,377 --> 00:18:29,417
I don't suppose you want to save me
a dance? It's not going to happen.
358
00:18:29,577 --> 00:18:31,337
Absolutely.
359
00:18:32,457 --> 00:18:34,516
What's it saying now?
I'm not looking.
360
00:18:34,517 --> 00:18:36,596
Just look. No. Just look! No.
361
00:18:36,597 --> 00:18:38,857
Sue! Linda!
362
00:18:39,017 --> 00:18:41,096
(It's quiet.)
363
00:18:41,097 --> 00:18:43,177
(It's too quiet, man.) What?
364
00:18:43,317 --> 00:18:45,557
I said, it's too quiet, man.
Yeah, right. It is.
365
00:18:45,737 --> 00:18:47,816
Stop! What is it? It's a woggle.
366
00:18:47,817 --> 00:18:49,737
What's a...? (What's a woggle?)
367
00:18:49,877 --> 00:18:53,397
It's what Scouts use to fasten
their neckerchiefs.
368
00:18:57,077 --> 00:19:00,137
It's still warm.
369
00:19:01,657 --> 00:19:03,956
Right, deploy at once.
370
00:19:03,957 --> 00:19:07,337
We must be getting close.
I can feel it.
371
00:19:07,417 --> 00:19:11,817
Right... Ray, snowballs.
372
00:19:11,977 --> 00:19:14,537
Yes! Don't say 'yes'.
Where are the snowballs?
373
00:19:15,857 --> 00:19:18,217
You're a...
374
00:19:18,357 --> 00:19:20,917
Charge!
375
00:19:22,677 --> 00:19:24,757
Take cover!
376
00:19:27,657 --> 00:19:30,056
I'm hit, I'm hit.
Give him space! Give him space!
377
00:19:30,057 --> 00:19:34,196
They got me in the balls.
I don't think I can go on.
378
00:19:34,197 --> 00:19:35,977
You can't give up.
Don't go dying on me!
379
00:19:36,137 --> 00:19:39,617
Ah! What did you do that for? Sorry,
I thought you were going to die.
380
00:19:39,797 --> 00:19:41,577
So you thought you'd slap me
in the face?!
381
00:19:41,737 --> 00:19:45,096
I've already been hit in the balls,
man. I said I'm sorry.
382
00:19:45,097 --> 00:19:48,917
Hey, boys. I've got us a hostage.
383
00:19:58,917 --> 00:20:01,076
I'm sorry about earlier.
384
00:20:01,077 --> 00:20:03,957
I shouldn't have lost it like that.
385
00:20:03,977 --> 00:20:07,316
I'm just not a fan of this whole
Santa Claus thing.
386
00:20:07,317 --> 00:20:11,156
It brings back memories.
What sort of memories?
387
00:20:11,157 --> 00:20:15,656
When I was eight, I asked Santa for
a Dukes of Hazard Scalextric car.
388
00:20:15,657 --> 00:20:18,516
It never came.
389
00:20:18,517 --> 00:20:21,256
Oh, dear. Well, you never know.
390
00:20:21,257 --> 00:20:24,137
Perhaps if you are a good boy, Santa
will bring you one this year.
391
00:20:24,257 --> 00:20:28,117
You can't get them any more.
Not even on eBay.
392
00:20:28,277 --> 00:20:31,157
That's no reason to take it out
on you, though.
393
00:20:31,237 --> 00:20:34,056
I'm sorry. Well, good.
394
00:20:34,057 --> 00:20:37,057
I shall take you off
the naughty list.
395
00:20:37,197 --> 00:20:39,777
Seriously, you are going to have to
stop doing that.
396
00:20:39,977 --> 00:20:42,537
It is really annoying.
397
00:20:44,777 --> 00:20:46,857
Here I am.
398
00:20:46,997 --> 00:20:49,256
Ah, good.
Why don't you take a seat, Julie,
399
00:20:49,257 --> 00:20:51,637
and let's have that little chat,
shall we?
400
00:20:53,737 --> 00:20:55,797
That can wait.
401
00:20:55,937 --> 00:20:57,857
Some things are more important.
402
00:21:01,257 --> 00:21:03,956
We make a good team, don't we,
Julie?
403
00:21:03,957 --> 00:21:05,737
We are the best, Gavin.
404
00:21:05,877 --> 00:21:09,217
The best. But can you really say
that you are happy
405
00:21:09,397 --> 00:21:12,437
with us just being manager
and deputy manager?
406
00:21:12,597 --> 00:21:14,997
Because honestly, I am not.
407
00:21:15,157 --> 00:21:18,537
No, you're right. I think we have
both know that for some time.
408
00:21:20,357 --> 00:21:21,717
Do you want to get that?
409
00:21:28,617 --> 00:21:31,496
But what I want to know is,
where do we go from here?
410
00:21:31,497 --> 00:21:34,677
There is nothing worse
than looking back in 20 years' time
411
00:21:34,837 --> 00:21:37,257
and regretting an opportunity
to be happy.
412
00:21:37,417 --> 00:21:39,816
I don't want that. I really don't.
413
00:21:39,817 --> 00:21:42,197
Sometimes, when something is there
to be taken,
414
00:21:42,357 --> 00:21:44,777
you've just got to think,
'What the hell', and grab it.
415
00:21:44,937 --> 00:21:48,897
Now, you are a remarkable woman,
Julie.
416
00:21:49,037 --> 00:21:53,237
Oh, Gavin, I am so glad you want
this, too.
417
00:22:07,717 --> 00:22:10,836
I think we might have got our wires
crossed a bit here, Julie.
418
00:22:10,837 --> 00:22:15,176
What? But you said...
419
00:22:15,177 --> 00:22:17,097
What about 'grabbing what you want'?
420
00:22:17,177 --> 00:22:18,857
I was talking about the Widnes job.
421
00:22:18,997 --> 00:22:20,937
What did you think
I was talking about?
422
00:22:21,957 --> 00:22:25,257
I thought you wanted... me.
423
00:22:29,157 --> 00:22:31,317
Stupid idiot, Julie!
424
00:22:33,257 --> 00:22:35,817
Stupid bloody idiot!
425
00:22:57,420 --> 00:23:00,940
I usually have granules.
They're dead easy.
426
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:03,820
You just have to boil a kettle
and add water.
427
00:23:03,900 --> 00:23:08,300
Bloody hell. Kettle. Water.
428
00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,920
And you put the boiling water
actually inside the kettle?
429
00:23:12,140 --> 00:23:16,100
No, you put cold water in
and boiling water comes out.
430
00:23:16,300 --> 00:23:19,940
Why don't you just put boiling
water in, then it'll be done?
431
00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:22,980
Right, moving on.
432
00:23:23,180 --> 00:23:26,060
Well, yes, Martin. I can see that.
433
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:29,420
It's coming down
in great drifts as we speak.
434
00:23:29,740 --> 00:23:32,460
But closing the store early...
We haven't done that
435
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:36,140
since that customer died. And
that was only five minutes early.
436
00:23:37,020 --> 00:23:39,020
It's Christmas Eve!
437
00:23:40,620 --> 00:23:46,540
Fine. Yes. I'll let the staff and
the customers know straight away.
438
00:23:46,840 --> 00:23:49,740
Yes, Martin. And to you.
Yes, have a good one. Yeah.
439
00:23:50,680 --> 00:23:53,079
This is an important
customer announcement.
440
00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:56,120
Due to adverse weather conditions,
this store will be closing
441
00:23:56,280 --> 00:24:00,120
in five minutes.
Please make your way to the tills.
442
00:24:00,280 --> 00:24:02,540
Thank you.
Get out of my way!
443
00:24:10,220 --> 00:24:11,499
Oi!
444
00:24:11,500 --> 00:24:13,900
Yes. Thanks again to all of you.
445
00:24:13,980 --> 00:24:16,600
Really smashing work.
446
00:24:17,240 --> 00:24:19,240
Got everything?
Passport? Tickets?
447
00:24:19,300 --> 00:24:21,899
Yeah, Mum sorted all that stuff out.
448
00:24:21,900 --> 00:24:25,739
Seriously? Sun cream?
I want to be ready for landing.
449
00:24:25,740 --> 00:24:28,200
In Dubai.
Did I tell you I'm going to Dubai?
450
00:24:28,260 --> 00:24:30,040
Yes!
451
00:24:30,120 --> 00:24:35,240
Ice cube down the back.
452
00:24:36,780 --> 00:24:39,159
What are you going to do to me?
What's your name, kid?
453
00:24:39,160 --> 00:24:41,079
Not saying.
Cut his fingers off.
454
00:24:41,080 --> 00:24:43,820
What?
It's Maurice. My name's Maurice.
455
00:24:43,980 --> 00:24:46,360
I can see that.
You can tell by his hair.
456
00:24:46,500 --> 00:24:50,800
Right, Maurice. What have you
got planned after the snowballs?
457
00:24:51,020 --> 00:24:53,419
I don't know.
They don't tell me anything. Honest.
458
00:24:53,420 --> 00:24:56,060
They're all mean to me.
I can't help it, can I?
459
00:24:56,280 --> 00:25:00,420
Bluffing! He's bluffing.
Leighton said he'd do this.
460
00:25:00,620 --> 00:25:02,860
He's sneaky. He's tricky.
461
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,059
Stop lying. You're getting
on my tits, Maurice.
462
00:25:06,060 --> 00:25:08,140
One time, they hung me up
on a washing line.
463
00:25:08,280 --> 00:25:11,760
Liar. Let's see how you lie
with no fingers, Maurice.
464
00:25:13,940 --> 00:25:17,260
No, no. I believe him.
465
00:25:20,300 --> 00:25:23,340
I can see it in his eyes.
Untie him, Colin.
466
00:25:24,260 --> 00:25:26,220
He's one of us.
467
00:25:28,620 --> 00:25:30,520
Right. OK.
468
00:25:32,400 --> 00:25:36,460
Yes.
Let's party!
469
00:25:38,540 --> 00:25:42,999
Come on, Gav. Where's the coach?
A slight problem with that.
470
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:47,500
It would appear our coach has hit
some black ice and run aground.
471
00:25:47,640 --> 00:25:51,960
We're getting taxis, then?
Unfortunately, um...
472
00:25:52,140 --> 00:25:54,520
The road is now
completely out of bounds.
473
00:25:54,700 --> 00:25:56,939
Even emergency vehicles
can't get through.
474
00:25:56,940 --> 00:25:59,319
And that's the same
all along the ring road.
475
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:03,659
What are you telling me?
Let's not shoot the messenger.
476
00:26:03,660 --> 00:26:06,999
But you're all going to have to
stay here a while longer.
477
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:10,839
How long?
Until the gritters get through.
478
00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:12,779
I'm afraid
we're completely snowed in.
479
00:26:12,780 --> 00:26:17,419
No! Oh, my God, please open the door.
I could walk it.
480
00:26:17,420 --> 00:26:19,499
I know I could do it.
Just let me try.
481
00:26:19,500 --> 00:26:22,600
Just let me try!
482
00:26:22,660 --> 00:26:26,540
It's over, Linda. It's over.
No!
483
00:26:26,860 --> 00:26:29,400
Right, boys.
Something's not right here.
484
00:26:29,560 --> 00:26:32,280
Sorry we were so hard on you.
It's all right.
485
00:26:32,460 --> 00:26:35,340
Sometimes it's hard to see the man
behind the uniform.
486
00:26:35,440 --> 00:26:37,900
Seriously, boys. Listen.
487
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:41,080
What?
Where is everybody?
488
00:26:41,420 --> 00:26:44,760
I'm scared.
Me too.
489
00:26:47,660 --> 00:26:52,440
Thank God! It's Gavin. You haven't
seen a boy scout anywhere?
490
00:26:52,600 --> 00:26:56,460
Very worried man thinks one of them
might have got snowed in here.
491
00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:59,820
Snowed in? Oh, yes.
God knows when we'll get out.
492
00:27:02,040 --> 00:27:03,820
Excuse me, sir?
493
00:27:07,660 --> 00:27:10,220
Jesus Christ Superstar! You got him?
494
00:27:10,280 --> 00:27:13,559
He was our hostage.
Yeah, it was sort of a game.
495
00:27:13,560 --> 00:27:15,480
A game
where you take a child prisoner?
496
00:27:15,500 --> 00:27:17,740
What were you thinking?
Sorry, Gavin.
497
00:27:17,900 --> 00:27:20,599
I don't know where to start.
Not sure there are
498
00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:24,299
internal disciplinary measures for
holding a scout against their will.
499
00:27:24,300 --> 00:27:27,020
You're in big trouble, all of you.
500
00:27:27,160 --> 00:27:29,879
Wait. It was my fault, really.
501
00:27:29,880 --> 00:27:33,420
I got lost and they made up
a game to keep me from worrying.
502
00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:35,299
They were trying
to get me back to my troop.
503
00:27:35,300 --> 00:27:38,220
Were we?
Yeah. Yeah, we were.
504
00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:42,540
Oh, I see. Well,
thanks for telling me, um... sonny.
505
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:45,880
His name's Maurice.
You can tell by his hair. Oh.
506
00:27:46,360 --> 00:27:51,000
I suppose I owe you an apology
for jumping to conclusions.
507
00:27:51,180 --> 00:27:54,999
Too bloody right
you do. Apology accepted.
508
00:27:55,000 --> 00:27:58,860
Right. Maurice. Do you know
your mummy and daddy's phone number?
509
00:27:59,020 --> 00:28:00,779
Let's let them know you're safe.
510
00:28:00,780 --> 00:28:03,180
Nice one, Maurice.
511
00:28:03,980 --> 00:28:07,160
Oh, it's not good.
It's not good at all.
512
00:28:07,300 --> 00:28:11,319
Just have to stay calm.
I should be in China by now.
513
00:28:11,320 --> 00:28:14,060
Oh. Not good at all.
514
00:28:16,020 --> 00:28:17,900
I'm sorry. I just can't do this.
515
00:28:18,140 --> 00:28:19,080
There's too much stuff to cook
516
00:28:19,081 --> 00:28:21,981
and you have to use like kettles,
and science and shit.
517
00:28:22,040 --> 00:28:24,760
It's fine. It's fine.
My nan can do it.
518
00:28:24,761 --> 00:28:26,961
She cooks the birds
the way I like them anyway.
519
00:28:26,962 --> 00:28:27,762
So poomm!
520
00:28:27,820 --> 00:28:30,520
Some domestic goddess
I turned out to be.
521
00:28:30,600 --> 00:28:32,760
What's this all about?
522
00:28:32,920 --> 00:28:35,760
I thought you'd like it
if I was more like Nigella.
523
00:28:35,780 --> 00:28:39,800
You know, after I caught you...
watching her.
524
00:28:39,980 --> 00:28:42,220
I wasn't knocking one out
over her cooking.
525
00:28:42,380 --> 00:28:46,219
That's why every bloke likes her.
The perfect woman.
526
00:28:46,220 --> 00:28:49,160
Cook in the kitchen,
whore in the bedroom.
527
00:28:49,220 --> 00:28:53,400
The only thing I like about Nigella
are those cracking tits.
528
00:28:53,900 --> 00:28:56,439
And they haven't got a patch
on yours. Look at those.
529
00:28:56,440 --> 00:29:00,300
Oh, come here,
you silver-tongued bastard.
530
00:29:03,020 --> 00:29:07,480
Look at you all, sat about like
great lumps of Christmas pudding.
531
00:29:07,500 --> 00:29:09,880
We'd just rather all not be here.
532
00:29:10,060 --> 00:29:14,200
Well, neither would I. But that's
no reason to be moody Marys.
533
00:29:14,380 --> 00:29:18,000
We've got a kid here.
We should make it special for him.
534
00:29:18,340 --> 00:29:23,320
It's like that saying. If God
gives you lemons, make oranges.
535
00:29:23,640 --> 00:29:26,699
Hear, hear.
Though it's actually lemonade.
536
00:29:26,700 --> 00:29:30,340
So why don't we
do something about it?
537
00:29:30,520 --> 00:29:34,380
Like what?
Well, we've a shop full of food
538
00:29:34,520 --> 00:29:38,359
and... an empty kitchen
and lots of hungry people.
539
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,579
Margaret, are you saying
we should make some dinner?
540
00:29:41,580 --> 00:29:45,740
Oh, that's a brilliant idea!
Yeah, let's cook Christmas dinner.
541
00:29:45,820 --> 00:29:47,180
That's the spirit. Yes.
542
00:29:47,260 --> 00:29:50,540
# Snow is falling... #
543
00:30:00,780 --> 00:30:03,340
Hang on. That's only 5.3.
Nah.
544
00:30:09,900 --> 00:30:13,880
Lisa, where's the trolley?
I don't know.
545
00:30:38,940 --> 00:30:40,920
God bless us, everyone.
546
00:31:03,340 --> 00:31:05,719
Has everybody got a cracker?
547
00:31:05,720 --> 00:31:09,380
Yeah. Sorry they're
the no-nonsense stock.
548
00:31:09,580 --> 00:31:11,620
It's all I had left.
549
00:31:11,960 --> 00:31:14,520
Well, happy Christmas
and happy crack-crack.
550
00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:28,139
They never go, do they?
Right, I may as well go first.
551
00:31:28,140 --> 00:31:30,700
How do you make a hormone?
552
00:31:32,440 --> 00:31:34,060
By giving her a...
553
00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,540
I can't possibly read that out.
554
00:31:42,380 --> 00:31:45,719
Is everything all right? You're not
thinking about earlier on?
555
00:31:45,720 --> 00:31:47,799
I don't want to talk about it.
556
00:31:47,800 --> 00:31:52,939
It was nothing. Come on.
Listen, put your paper crown on
557
00:31:52,940 --> 00:31:55,180
and get into the spirit.
No!
558
00:31:55,340 --> 00:31:59,180
Yeah, cheer up, Julie.
Get your hat on.
559
00:31:59,320 --> 00:32:02,040
Come on, Julie.
560
00:32:03,160 --> 00:32:06,500
Shut up, Gavin!
Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!
561
00:32:09,740 --> 00:32:14,680
You can't just break my heart and
then expect me to slap a smile on!
562
00:32:16,440 --> 00:32:18,540
Come on, Julie.
We can get past this.
563
00:32:18,700 --> 00:32:20,780
It was only a kiss.
564
00:32:22,860 --> 00:32:25,560
Not to me it wasn't.
565
00:32:25,740 --> 00:32:31,020
Because I love you, Gavin.
I've always loved you.
566
00:32:31,820 --> 00:32:34,839
I love your punctuality.
567
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:36,600
I love your brute strength.
568
00:32:37,900 --> 00:32:40,620
I love your laissez-faire attitude.
569
00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:44,940
You're everything to me, Gavin.
570
00:32:45,900 --> 00:32:48,620
Please, Julie,
not in front of the children.
571
00:32:48,780 --> 00:32:50,700
It's all right. I've nearly finished.
572
00:32:50,860 --> 00:32:53,580
I just need to let you know
that I'm leaving.
573
00:32:58,700 --> 00:33:04,280
It's better than sharing an office
with the man who destroyed my world.
574
00:33:05,080 --> 00:33:07,500
Bloody hell.
575
00:33:22,448 --> 00:33:25,308
Keep drinking. Drink, drink.
576
00:33:25,628 --> 00:33:28,528
Keep drinking.
Where's Santa?
577
00:33:30,085 --> 00:33:32,965
You. Have you seen Santa?
He said he had work to do.
578
00:33:34,349 --> 00:33:39,109
He's robbing the store as we speak.
I knew it! The thieving ratbag.
579
00:33:43,469 --> 00:33:46,829
Stupid, stupid door!
Julie?
580
00:33:53,529 --> 00:33:56,429
Hey, hey!
581
00:34:01,869 --> 00:34:04,569
Neville, you haven't seen
Julie anywhere, have you?
582
00:34:04,649 --> 00:34:08,909
Why? You gonna snog her again?
Yes, just saw her leaving.
583
00:34:09,369 --> 00:34:13,549
What? She's left the store?
In this weather?
584
00:34:15,629 --> 00:34:17,709
You'd better
get out there after her.
585
00:34:17,869 --> 00:34:21,789
It's freezing, Gavin.
She's probably dead.
586
00:34:23,789 --> 00:34:28,429
I can't bloody believe it. Right.
Well, there's no management.
587
00:34:28,509 --> 00:34:30,349
You know what that means, don't you?
588
00:34:30,509 --> 00:34:32,569
Party!
589
00:34:39,509 --> 00:34:41,709
Get in. Get in.
590
00:35:07,949 --> 00:35:09,069
Ow!
591
00:35:20,829 --> 00:35:23,789
Julie!
592
00:35:28,089 --> 00:35:30,649
No, you don't.
593
00:35:31,629 --> 00:35:33,529
Julie!
594
00:35:41,309 --> 00:35:42,509
There you are, you thieving...
595
00:35:43,509 --> 00:35:46,029
No, watch first.
596
00:35:46,089 --> 00:35:48,089
What... What are you doing?
597
00:35:50,509 --> 00:35:54,809
Julie!
598
00:35:59,869 --> 00:36:01,849
Yes! Yes, down in one!
599
00:36:14,029 --> 00:36:16,908
What are you doing?
Trying to go home.
600
00:36:16,909 --> 00:36:19,128
What does it look like?
601
00:36:19,129 --> 00:36:21,389
Oh, dear.
602
00:36:26,089 --> 00:36:29,048
Listen, Julie, I know you're angry,
603
00:36:29,049 --> 00:36:33,129
but I want you to understand
why I'm doing this.
604
00:36:33,189 --> 00:36:36,749
Fine. Go ahead.
I think you're amazing, Julie.
605
00:36:36,869 --> 00:36:40,569
Oh, Gavin, don't!
No, really, you are.
606
00:36:41,549 --> 00:36:44,108
I don't know
how I'll cope without you.
607
00:36:44,109 --> 00:36:49,369
But I just don't love you, Julie.
I wish I did, but I don't.
608
00:36:49,529 --> 00:36:52,749
And you deserve better than that.
Oh, please stop.
609
00:36:52,909 --> 00:36:56,748
No, no. I won't.
See, I remember what it feels like
610
00:36:56,749 --> 00:36:59,289
knowing that you're not truly loved.
611
00:36:59,769 --> 00:37:03,148
See, Barbara, she never shared
the same feelings as I did,
612
00:37:03,149 --> 00:37:05,709
and... and it hurt.
613
00:37:05,849 --> 00:37:08,909
Every day.
And I could never do that to you.
614
00:37:10,169 --> 00:37:12,749
I've been such an idiot.
615
00:37:12,909 --> 00:37:16,909
Not at all.
You're a wonderful woman, Julie.
616
00:37:17,069 --> 00:37:21,869
There's another Gavin out there
for you. Just go and find him.
617
00:37:22,029 --> 00:37:24,728
Oh, thank you, Gavin.
618
00:37:24,729 --> 00:37:29,129
It looks like I'll have to try
and find him down at the Job Centre.
619
00:37:29,189 --> 00:37:34,169
Not necessarily.
Come on. Let's get you in the warm.
620
00:37:38,889 --> 00:37:40,889
Look who I found hanging around!
621
00:37:43,549 --> 00:37:45,548
Julie, do you want a dance?
622
00:37:45,549 --> 00:37:47,529
Go on, then.
623
00:37:50,789 --> 00:37:54,189
Gavin?
Are you and Julie splitting up?
624
00:37:55,149 --> 00:37:58,809
In a way, Leighton, yes.
Yes, we are.
625
00:37:58,829 --> 00:38:01,549
It's not my fault, is it?
No.
626
00:38:01,709 --> 00:38:04,248
Oh, OK.
It's nothing to do with you.
627
00:38:04,249 --> 00:38:07,929
OK, good. Because when my dad left,
he said it was definitely my fault.
628
00:38:08,089 --> 00:38:12,269
100%. So I just thought I'd check
I hadn't done it again.
629
00:38:12,429 --> 00:38:14,169
Oh, Leighton.
630
00:38:14,249 --> 00:38:15,949
Come here.
631
00:38:18,189 --> 00:38:19,949
Thanks, Gavin.
632
00:38:20,029 --> 00:38:22,489
All right...
633
00:38:44,109 --> 00:38:45,929
Reindeer.
634
00:38:50,129 --> 00:38:53,689
I know I have not always been
the warmest of people.
635
00:38:53,849 --> 00:38:57,868
But I'm going to miss you all.
My Valco family.
636
00:38:57,869 --> 00:39:01,208
I couldn't wish
for a better family than you lot.
637
00:39:01,209 --> 00:39:04,249
You were there for me
when the bastard left.
638
00:39:04,329 --> 00:39:06,509
Not like my real family.
639
00:39:06,989 --> 00:39:11,609
In some ways, you people
are my only friends in the world.
640
00:39:11,769 --> 00:39:16,428
Lisa, I'll miss your no-nonsense
attitude to customer service.
641
00:39:16,429 --> 00:39:19,769
Till's closed, you twat.
642
00:39:20,889 --> 00:39:24,909
Linda and Sue,
I'll miss your bright, smiling faces
643
00:39:25,069 --> 00:39:28,588
being the first thing I see
every morning when I come in.
644
00:39:28,589 --> 00:39:32,589
But there's one man
I'm going to miss the most.
645
00:39:32,749 --> 00:39:34,969
Gavin.
646
00:39:35,449 --> 00:39:38,169
Gavin bloody Strong.
647
00:39:38,349 --> 00:39:41,849
Oh, come on, Julie, hold it together.
648
00:39:43,449 --> 00:39:47,529
You'd been a rock to me, Gavin.
Julie Cook, everyone!
649
00:39:51,149 --> 00:39:55,768
The best deputy manager
Valco ever had.
650
00:39:55,769 --> 00:40:00,269
And soon to be the best manager
the Widdnes branch has ever seen!
651
00:40:00,729 --> 00:40:03,289
Oh, Gavin, you didn't?
I did.
652
00:40:04,069 --> 00:40:06,648
Oh, Gavin, thank you.
653
00:40:06,649 --> 00:40:10,329
I don't believe it.
I'm going to be a manager.
654
00:40:14,829 --> 00:40:18,309
And I can't believe I've got to do
all this without you.
655
00:40:18,469 --> 00:40:22,349
Yous two are stood
underneath the mistletoe.
656
00:40:22,489 --> 00:40:25,209
So we are.
Oh, go on, you two. Kiss.
657
00:40:26,229 --> 00:40:28,429
No, no, no. We're not doing that.
658
00:40:29,369 --> 00:40:33,848
Well, it is a Christmas tradition.
We wouldn't want to let anyone down.
659
00:40:33,849 --> 00:40:36,269
Do it, mate.
660
00:40:36,429 --> 00:40:39,469
Do it! Do it!
661
00:40:50,509 --> 00:40:53,529
I'm sorry.
I just had to see what it was like.
662
00:40:59,949 --> 00:41:04,249
You lot! The gritters are here!
It's stopped snowing!
663
00:41:07,629 --> 00:41:10,729
I found this in the staff room.
It's addressed to you.
664
00:41:10,789 --> 00:41:15,149
Cheers. "Dear Ian, sorry it's late."
665
00:41:19,769 --> 00:41:22,829
Is this a joke?
Nothing to do with me, mate.
666
00:41:25,449 --> 00:41:28,909
Thank you.
Sorry I was a bit of a shit.
667
00:41:30,509 --> 00:41:32,409
He was Santa.
668
00:41:34,729 --> 00:41:37,069
He was actually Santa.
669
00:41:42,989 --> 00:41:46,489
Ah, it appears
to have stopped snowing.
670
00:41:46,649 --> 00:41:49,229
I was rather banking
on it still snowing at midnight.
671
00:41:49,389 --> 00:41:52,429
You still get your money, though,
cos it's a white Christmas.
672
00:41:52,589 --> 00:41:56,109
Only if it snows at midnight.
Snow on the ground doesn't count.
673
00:41:56,249 --> 00:41:59,788
Still plenty of time, though.
Not now. It's raining.
674
00:41:59,789 --> 00:42:02,249
Oh, well. Can't be helped.
675
00:42:02,769 --> 00:42:04,729
Poor sod.
676
00:42:05,869 --> 00:42:07,129
Go on.
677
00:42:09,869 --> 00:42:11,628
Merry Christmas, Neville.
678
00:42:11,629 --> 00:42:14,009
Every bloody year.
679
00:42:14,989 --> 00:42:17,549
Can I... Can I take your case?
680
00:42:17,709 --> 00:42:19,628
Maurice, come on!
681
00:42:19,629 --> 00:42:21,868
Hey, there you go, Maurice.
Thanks.
682
00:42:21,869 --> 00:42:23,768
Have a lovely Christmas.
And you.
683
00:42:23,769 --> 00:42:28,088
Keep in touch. Yeah,
maybe we could all meet up again.
684
00:42:28,089 --> 00:42:30,349
A bit weird.
Yeah, you're right.
685
00:42:30,509 --> 00:42:34,968
Come on, please, Maurice. Don't let
those scamps push you around.
686
00:42:34,969 --> 00:42:37,708
Let's get you out of this place.
You wait in the car mum.
687
00:42:37,709 --> 00:42:41,528
There's just one thing I have to do.
He's coming back!
688
00:42:41,529 --> 00:42:43,289
Hey!
689
00:42:43,949 --> 00:42:45,689
Ow!
690
00:42:45,869 --> 00:42:47,769
Scouts forever!
I don't understand.
691
00:42:47,949 --> 00:42:50,668
I can't believe you fell for it.
Never trust a scout.
692
00:42:50,669 --> 00:42:55,149
I'll find you!
I'll cut your fingers off, Maurice!
693
00:43:04,489 --> 00:43:07,449
Seven years... in a box.
694
00:43:10,669 --> 00:43:13,209
Goodbye, Gavin.
695
00:43:25,869 --> 00:43:27,629
Goodbye, Julie.
696
00:43:35,310 --> 00:44:05,960
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