1 00:00:02,687 --> 00:00:04,207 - Can she just stop that now? 2 00:00:04,307 --> 00:00:06,733 - Aww, he keeps on moving it. 3 00:00:06,833 --> 00:00:08,305 - From booze to biscuits! 4 00:00:08,405 --> 00:00:09,340 - Red-hot deals? 5 00:00:09,440 --> 00:00:10,543 - Loads of two-for-ones. 6 00:00:10,643 --> 00:00:12,159 - Don't forget the Valco tick. 7 00:00:12,259 --> 00:00:14,076 - Everyone always gets it wrong 'cause it's definitely that way. 8 00:00:14,076 --> 00:00:15,640 - Tick. 9 00:00:15,740 --> 00:00:16,473 - Tick. 10 00:00:16,573 --> 00:00:18,175 - And I'm not doing that tick thing either! 11 00:00:18,175 --> 00:00:19,357 - Am I getting paid for this? 12 00:00:19,457 --> 00:00:20,190 (laughs) 13 00:00:20,290 --> 00:00:21,546 - Serves you right! 14 00:00:21,646 --> 00:00:24,396 - [All] Valco, serves you right! 15 00:00:29,845 --> 00:00:31,540 - Thanks for letting me use your computer, Gavin. 16 00:00:31,540 --> 00:00:34,504 Can't find mine anywhere. - Oh, that's the problem with the laptops, 17 00:00:34,604 --> 00:00:36,722 they're easily left behind. 18 00:00:36,822 --> 00:00:39,246 - Oh, no, it's not a laptop, it's a big one like this. 19 00:00:39,346 --> 00:00:40,593 - Oh, right. 20 00:00:40,693 --> 00:00:41,748 (knocking on door) 21 00:00:41,848 --> 00:00:42,581 - Morning, Gavin. 22 00:00:42,681 --> 00:00:44,168 Ah, hi Charlie. 23 00:00:44,268 --> 00:00:45,580 - Bonjour! 24 00:00:45,680 --> 00:00:46,818 Dan the man! 25 00:00:46,918 --> 00:00:47,861 What's going on? 26 00:00:47,961 --> 00:00:50,658 - Oh, you know, chillin'. 27 00:00:50,758 --> 00:00:53,689 Are you sure she's all right there? - No, probably not, no, but. 28 00:00:53,789 --> 00:00:55,311 - Right, all done. 29 00:00:55,411 --> 00:00:57,117 Oh, Gavin, I accidentally deleted something 30 00:00:57,117 --> 00:00:58,720 but I'm sure you'll get it back, sorry. 31 00:00:58,820 --> 00:01:00,606 It was called Gavin's documents. 32 00:01:00,706 --> 00:01:01,530 - What? 33 00:01:01,630 --> 00:01:03,269 - Oh, I've no idea how I did it. 34 00:01:03,369 --> 00:01:04,102 Sorry! 35 00:01:04,202 --> 00:01:05,866 - Oh well, nevermind. 36 00:01:05,966 --> 00:01:07,146 - Later, potaters! 37 00:01:07,246 --> 00:01:08,541 - Green tomaters. 38 00:01:08,641 --> 00:01:10,474 God, what an odd girl. 39 00:01:11,665 --> 00:01:16,158 - Yeah, she accidentally cut my tie in half yesterday. 40 00:01:16,258 --> 00:01:18,147 - Listen, thank you for putting up with her. 41 00:01:18,247 --> 00:01:19,689 It really is much appreciated. 42 00:01:19,789 --> 00:01:22,185 - It's okay, as long as we keep her far, far away 43 00:01:22,285 --> 00:01:25,012 from the first-aid training today. Please, Gavin, that's all I ask. 44 00:01:25,012 --> 00:01:26,689 - Oh, you have my word, Daniel. 45 00:01:26,789 --> 00:01:28,854 She will not come within sneezing distance of it. 46 00:01:28,854 --> 00:01:30,937 - Sorry, forgot my shoes! 47 00:01:33,868 --> 00:01:36,502 What are you two pests up to? 48 00:01:36,602 --> 00:01:38,453 You look all secret-y. 49 00:01:38,553 --> 00:01:39,744 - Just discussing the day. 50 00:01:39,844 --> 00:01:40,577 - The days. 51 00:01:40,677 --> 00:01:41,410 - The days. 52 00:01:41,510 --> 00:01:43,653 - Don't make me tickle it out of you! 53 00:01:43,753 --> 00:01:44,916 - No, not again! 54 00:01:45,016 --> 00:01:45,995 Stop! 55 00:01:46,095 --> 00:01:46,828 (laughing) 56 00:01:46,928 --> 00:01:47,761 Please! 57 00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:52,600 - You can't keep secrets from ol' Charlie! 58 00:01:52,700 --> 00:01:53,886 - First-aid training! 59 00:01:53,986 --> 00:01:55,034 Daniel's running it! 60 00:01:55,134 --> 00:01:56,237 It's today! 61 00:01:56,337 --> 00:01:57,312 Please stop! 62 00:01:57,412 --> 00:01:58,389 - Oh, my god. 63 00:01:58,489 --> 00:02:00,218 Oh, my god, oh, my god! 64 00:02:00,318 --> 00:02:02,451 Count me in, Daniel. 65 00:02:02,551 --> 00:02:06,433 This is the best day ever, starting now! 66 00:02:06,533 --> 00:02:08,783 (laughing) 67 00:02:13,910 --> 00:02:16,369 (sighs) 68 00:02:16,469 --> 00:02:17,647 - Morning. 69 00:02:17,747 --> 00:02:19,519 Oh, don't get me started, Brian. 70 00:02:19,619 --> 00:02:20,536 - I didn't. 71 00:02:21,728 --> 00:02:24,721 - Me and Alan couldn't agree on what to have for breakfast. 72 00:02:24,821 --> 00:02:27,084 We got in a right tizz. 73 00:02:27,184 --> 00:02:28,903 Alan wanted a boiled egg. 74 00:02:29,003 --> 00:02:31,477 I says "You can't have that for breakfast! 75 00:02:31,577 --> 00:02:33,012 "We're not on holiday!" 76 00:02:33,112 --> 00:02:34,840 - Good morning, Pharmacy. 77 00:02:34,940 --> 00:02:37,811 Care to join myself and Charlie for a spot of first-aid training? 78 00:02:37,911 --> 00:02:38,644 - First aid? 79 00:02:38,744 --> 00:02:40,559 What is this, the Stone Ages? 80 00:02:40,659 --> 00:02:42,378 Last aid, more like. 81 00:02:42,478 --> 00:02:44,869 Anyway, we have medicine now. 82 00:02:44,969 --> 00:02:48,312 - Yeah, we do, but basic first aid is a proven life saver. 83 00:02:48,412 --> 00:02:49,975 - Well, that's where you're wrong 84 00:02:50,075 --> 00:02:51,642 because recent statistics have shown 85 00:02:51,642 --> 00:02:55,016 that first aid kills more people than it saves. 86 00:02:55,116 --> 00:02:56,516 - No, that's not a statistic. 87 00:02:56,616 --> 00:02:57,552 That's made up. 88 00:02:57,652 --> 00:02:58,632 - Agree to disagree. 89 00:02:58,732 --> 00:02:59,628 - Oh, come on, you pair. 90 00:02:59,728 --> 00:03:01,288 - Oh, come on, Brian. 91 00:03:01,388 --> 00:03:03,605 I need something to get me out of me grumble. 92 00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:04,760 It'll be fun. 93 00:03:04,860 --> 00:03:07,236 - I could really use a hand teaching them. 94 00:03:07,336 --> 00:03:10,131 I bet they'd listen to an old medical pro like yourself. 95 00:03:10,231 --> 00:03:11,291 - All right, all right. 96 00:03:11,391 --> 00:03:15,558 You had me at I desperately need your help, Brian. 97 00:03:17,009 --> 00:03:19,805 - How many times have I asked you to fix that bathroom cabinet? 98 00:03:19,905 --> 00:03:22,105 - Yeah, I was wondering whether you'd ask Mike to do it? 99 00:03:22,205 --> 00:03:24,705 I mean, he does live with you. 100 00:03:25,802 --> 00:03:27,933 And he's got all of my tools. 101 00:03:28,033 --> 00:03:29,216 - Oh, get over yourself, Nev. 102 00:03:29,316 --> 00:03:30,914 You're always whining on aren't you? 103 00:03:31,014 --> 00:03:32,080 Me, me, me. 104 00:03:32,180 --> 00:03:33,420 - But I can't very well sneak into the house 105 00:03:33,420 --> 00:03:35,231 and do DIY while he's out. 106 00:03:35,331 --> 00:03:36,576 - You don't mind sneaking in 107 00:03:36,576 --> 00:03:41,031 and doing naughty things when he's out, do ya? 108 00:03:41,131 --> 00:03:43,381 Just get it fixed, Neville. 109 00:03:45,487 --> 00:03:46,622 - Neville. 110 00:03:46,722 --> 00:03:48,152 That's your ex-wife, innit? 111 00:03:48,252 --> 00:03:48,985 What the-- 112 00:03:49,085 --> 00:03:49,818 - What? 113 00:03:49,918 --> 00:03:50,918 No, yes, no! 114 00:03:52,054 --> 00:03:53,697 It's very complicated. 115 00:03:53,797 --> 00:03:55,630 Yes, I've got to dash. 116 00:04:03,652 --> 00:04:06,833 (call bell ringing) 117 00:04:06,933 --> 00:04:07,953 - What is it now? 118 00:04:08,053 --> 00:04:09,303 - Good morning. 119 00:04:10,237 --> 00:04:11,904 I want to say Doris? 120 00:04:12,870 --> 00:04:13,693 Marjorie? 121 00:04:13,793 --> 00:04:15,018 - It's Sue, what do you want? 122 00:04:15,118 --> 00:04:16,015 - It's chilly. 123 00:04:16,115 --> 00:04:17,509 What can you do about it? 124 00:04:17,609 --> 00:04:20,507 - Are you being serious? You got me over here 'cause you're cold? 125 00:04:20,607 --> 00:04:23,709 - Women our age feel it that bit more, don't we? 126 00:04:23,809 --> 00:04:24,542 - Our age? 127 00:04:24,642 --> 00:04:25,705 Our age? 128 00:04:25,805 --> 00:04:27,485 - I know you've got a few years on me, 129 00:04:27,585 --> 00:04:29,683 but we're the same generation, no? 130 00:04:29,783 --> 00:04:31,589 - I'm 46, you cheeky sod. 131 00:04:31,689 --> 00:04:33,637 And listen, I'm sick of this. 132 00:04:33,737 --> 00:04:36,286 I'm customer service, not Rose service. 133 00:04:36,386 --> 00:04:39,136 If my light goes off again, I'll. 134 00:04:42,094 --> 00:04:43,344 - Good morning! 135 00:04:45,291 --> 00:04:46,518 - When did you find this? 136 00:04:46,618 --> 00:04:47,535 - Just now. 137 00:04:51,379 --> 00:04:52,980 - It's a store fox. 138 00:04:53,080 --> 00:04:54,637 Bloody heck, he's got some balls, 139 00:04:54,737 --> 00:04:57,636 coming onto the actual shop floor. - Shall we call pest control? 140 00:04:57,736 --> 00:04:58,713 - Are you mad? 141 00:04:58,813 --> 00:05:01,329 And let Gavin know he's got a fox in his Valco? 142 00:05:01,429 --> 00:05:02,366 No. 143 00:05:02,466 --> 00:05:06,471 You and me have got a major investigation on our hands. 144 00:05:06,571 --> 00:05:07,711 Think you're up for it? 145 00:05:07,811 --> 00:05:10,242 - I reckon but what's the plan? 146 00:05:10,342 --> 00:05:13,675 - This is not my first store fox, sonny. 147 00:05:14,574 --> 00:05:15,508 See that scar? 148 00:05:15,608 --> 00:05:16,441 - No. 149 00:05:17,312 --> 00:05:18,952 - Last shop I worked. 150 00:05:19,052 --> 00:05:22,064 - So we've got to catch the fox before Gavin realises 151 00:05:22,164 --> 00:05:23,018 you've screwed up. 152 00:05:23,118 --> 00:05:24,052 - Yes! 153 00:05:24,152 --> 00:05:27,362 But I'm not gonna lose my badge over this! 154 00:05:27,462 --> 00:05:29,187 I'm gonna take him down. 155 00:05:29,287 --> 00:05:33,155 - Well, to catch a fox, you must first think like a fox. 156 00:05:33,255 --> 00:05:34,731 Can you do that, Ian? 157 00:05:34,831 --> 00:05:36,346 Are you in the fox's head? 158 00:05:36,446 --> 00:05:37,666 Maybe get on all fours. 159 00:05:37,766 --> 00:05:40,195 - I can't with my knees. 160 00:05:40,295 --> 00:05:42,642 - What's it thinking? 161 00:05:42,742 --> 00:05:43,825 - Cold meats! 162 00:05:49,085 --> 00:05:51,396 - Listen, there's no barcode on these tongs. 163 00:05:51,496 --> 00:05:52,724 Are they still on offer? 164 00:05:52,824 --> 00:05:54,342 - I'll have a look. 165 00:05:54,442 --> 00:05:56,886 You having a barbecue? I love a barbecue, me. 166 00:05:56,986 --> 00:05:58,154 - Well, you'd certainly love mine. 167 00:05:58,154 --> 00:05:59,806 I mean I don't wanna blow my own trombone but I tell you, 168 00:05:59,806 --> 00:06:01,821 I do grill a mean Cumberland. 169 00:06:01,921 --> 00:06:03,021 - Amazing, cheers! 170 00:06:03,121 --> 00:06:04,222 I'd love to come. 171 00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:05,155 - What? 172 00:06:06,142 --> 00:06:07,092 Oh no, no. 173 00:06:07,192 --> 00:06:08,458 I don't want, no. 174 00:06:08,558 --> 00:06:10,082 It's more for family and friends. 175 00:06:10,182 --> 00:06:12,079 - I've not been to a barbecue in ages. 176 00:06:12,179 --> 00:06:13,706 I'll bring my Darren and the kids. 177 00:06:13,806 --> 00:06:16,389 - Well, it's actually more for. 178 00:06:17,278 --> 00:06:18,762 Sure, yes, why not? 179 00:06:18,862 --> 00:06:20,701 The more the merrier. I'll give you my address. 180 00:06:20,701 --> 00:06:22,534 - I've already got it. 181 00:06:23,824 --> 00:06:26,245 - So, you're walking through Valco 182 00:06:26,345 --> 00:06:29,617 and you find a customer unconscious in the frozen aisle. 183 00:06:29,717 --> 00:06:30,450 What do you do? 184 00:06:30,550 --> 00:06:31,283 - Oh, oh, wait! 185 00:06:31,383 --> 00:06:32,116 I know this one! 186 00:06:32,216 --> 00:06:33,756 Were they murdered? 187 00:06:33,856 --> 00:06:36,610 Because I know you definitely have to call the police 188 00:06:36,710 --> 00:06:37,996 if they were murdered. 189 00:06:38,096 --> 00:06:40,820 - They've not been murdered, they're just lying on the floor. 190 00:06:40,920 --> 00:06:41,700 - Murdered? 191 00:06:41,800 --> 00:06:45,143 Well, you'd call that nice Inspector Midsomer. 192 00:06:45,243 --> 00:06:47,112 - I repeat, not a murder. 193 00:06:47,212 --> 00:06:50,263 - Hang on a minute, Daniel. How do we know at it wasn't a murder? 194 00:06:50,363 --> 00:06:51,883 It's not a bad question, mate. 195 00:06:51,983 --> 00:06:52,797 - No, no, no. 196 00:06:52,897 --> 00:06:53,808 It is a bad question. 197 00:06:53,908 --> 00:06:55,499 - What if you were the murderer? 198 00:06:55,599 --> 00:06:57,536 You should try and escape. - Escape? 199 00:06:57,636 --> 00:06:58,369 Doubtful. 200 00:06:58,469 --> 00:07:01,427 90% of murderers stick around at the scene of the crime. 201 00:07:01,527 --> 00:07:02,751 Fact. 202 00:07:02,851 --> 00:07:05,557 - Can we just focus, please? 203 00:07:05,657 --> 00:07:06,916 Thank you. 204 00:07:07,016 --> 00:07:07,907 Right. 205 00:07:08,007 --> 00:07:10,933 Does anybody know what the first response to an injured, 206 00:07:11,033 --> 00:07:12,621 not murdered, shopper is? 207 00:07:12,721 --> 00:07:15,811 - First thing that we do is administer an adrenaline shot 208 00:07:15,911 --> 00:07:18,874 straight through the chest, get the heart started. 209 00:07:18,974 --> 00:07:19,880 - Hey, hang on a minute. 210 00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:21,532 We don't know the heart has stopped. 211 00:07:21,632 --> 00:07:23,891 That could be the worst thing to do. 212 00:07:23,991 --> 00:07:26,373 - I think you'll find that if they've been murdered, 213 00:07:26,473 --> 00:07:32,010 their heart would definitely have stopped otherwise it isn't a murder, is it? 214 00:07:32,110 --> 00:07:35,360 (employees applauding) 215 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:40,977 - Oh, hi Gavin. 216 00:07:41,077 --> 00:07:41,810 - Hi, Harry. 217 00:07:41,910 --> 00:07:43,966 - I hear you're having a barbecue, can't wait. 218 00:07:44,066 --> 00:07:45,205 - Well, how did you know? 219 00:07:45,305 --> 00:07:47,942 It's really just a private party. 220 00:07:48,042 --> 00:07:49,978 - I know Sue's going though, isn't she? 221 00:07:50,078 --> 00:07:52,161 Or is she better than me? 222 00:07:53,802 --> 00:07:55,802 - Oh no, it's just that. 223 00:07:56,713 --> 00:07:58,034 Okay, you're invited too. 224 00:07:58,134 --> 00:07:59,032 - Wait a second. 225 00:07:59,132 --> 00:08:03,882 You're inviting me, a minor, to a barbecue at your house? 226 00:08:03,982 --> 00:08:05,754 Pretty creepy, Gavin. 227 00:08:05,854 --> 00:08:08,293 - You just asked me to! 228 00:08:08,393 --> 00:08:10,596 (Ian groans in pain) Sticks and stones! 229 00:08:10,696 --> 00:08:12,640 What the heck's going on? 230 00:08:12,740 --> 00:08:14,264 - Hello, Gavin. 231 00:08:14,364 --> 00:08:16,714 Sorry, I dropped my watch earlier 232 00:08:16,814 --> 00:08:19,774 and I was getting Harry here to help me look for it. 233 00:08:19,874 --> 00:08:21,436 - You're wearing your watch. 234 00:08:21,536 --> 00:08:22,561 - So I am. 235 00:08:22,661 --> 00:08:25,547 Oh, thanks, Gavin, mystery solved. 236 00:08:25,647 --> 00:08:28,615 Hey, do you want me to bring any chicken for the barbecue? 237 00:08:28,715 --> 00:08:29,694 - Oh, not you as well? 238 00:08:29,794 --> 00:08:30,852 - I love chicken. 239 00:08:30,952 --> 00:08:32,595 Yeah, I'll bring the chicken. 240 00:08:32,695 --> 00:08:34,669 Don't worry, I know your address. 241 00:08:34,769 --> 00:08:35,852 Come on, you. 242 00:08:37,915 --> 00:08:40,303 - Why does everyone know where I live? 243 00:08:40,403 --> 00:08:42,583 - So, the recovery position. 244 00:08:42,683 --> 00:08:46,599 If one person per team wouldn't mind lying on the floor. 245 00:08:46,699 --> 00:08:48,353 - Do you want to practise with me or you 246 00:08:48,353 --> 00:08:50,595 just gonna go and steal someone else's partner, Nev? 247 00:08:50,595 --> 00:08:51,738 - Linda, please. 248 00:08:51,838 --> 00:08:56,005 Vanessa was my partner first and Mike stole her from me. 249 00:08:56,980 --> 00:08:59,867 - Ha, just like lying on the floor! 250 00:08:59,967 --> 00:09:01,691 - Does anybody know how to get a person 251 00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,306 into the recovery position? 252 00:09:03,406 --> 00:09:04,633 - Thump them in the back? 253 00:09:04,733 --> 00:09:05,584 - Correct. 254 00:09:05,684 --> 00:09:06,452 - Incorrect. 255 00:09:06,552 --> 00:09:08,557 - It's a known fact that a hard thump 256 00:09:08,657 --> 00:09:11,753 will solve a medical emergency in six out of 10 cases. 257 00:09:11,853 --> 00:09:14,454 - It absolutely 100% isn't. 258 00:09:14,554 --> 00:09:15,387 - Is. 259 00:09:16,997 --> 00:09:19,795 - You tilt their head back and check for breathing. 260 00:09:19,895 --> 00:09:22,152 - You breathing, Margaret? 261 00:09:22,252 --> 00:09:22,985 - Yep. 262 00:09:23,085 --> 00:09:24,124 - She's breathing, check. 263 00:09:24,224 --> 00:09:26,089 - Charlie, do you think you could check if I'm breathing? 264 00:09:26,089 --> 00:09:27,561 - Yep, I've got this one. 265 00:09:27,661 --> 00:09:28,494 - Oh! 266 00:09:30,361 --> 00:09:32,266 What did you do that for? 267 00:09:32,366 --> 00:09:33,715 - Short sharp shock. 268 00:09:33,815 --> 00:09:37,160 Daddy says that's what all gets the baby ponies breathing. 269 00:09:37,260 --> 00:09:39,111 - Do I look like a baby pony? 270 00:09:39,211 --> 00:09:42,461 - No, but you most certainly are alive. 271 00:09:48,747 --> 00:09:51,997 - Oh, now, I'm sorry, Rose but if you're too cold 272 00:09:52,097 --> 00:09:54,159 then you have to wear your Valco fleece. 273 00:09:54,259 --> 00:09:55,739 Not a personal coat. 274 00:09:55,839 --> 00:09:59,466 - I'm not sure you get to make the rules, you cheeky sod. 275 00:09:59,566 --> 00:10:02,656 Anyway, we have more pressing matters to discuss. 276 00:10:02,756 --> 00:10:03,489 - We have? 277 00:10:03,589 --> 00:10:05,726 - I know all about the barbecue this weekend 278 00:10:05,826 --> 00:10:09,244 and I wanna tell you right now, I am available, 279 00:10:09,344 --> 00:10:11,033 but this is in no way a date. 280 00:10:11,133 --> 00:10:13,483 At the first sign of any hanky-panky, 281 00:10:13,583 --> 00:10:15,289 I'll bloody your nose, got it? 282 00:10:15,389 --> 00:10:16,366 - What? 283 00:10:16,466 --> 00:10:19,133 - Now, off you pop, sweetie-pie. 284 00:10:20,272 --> 00:10:21,756 - Take that clothes off. 285 00:10:21,856 --> 00:10:22,689 - Ooh. 286 00:10:25,179 --> 00:10:25,999 Hello, Harry. 287 00:10:26,099 --> 00:10:28,395 Planning on doing any work today? 288 00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:29,271 - Can't, Rose. 289 00:10:29,371 --> 00:10:31,964 I've got to help Ian find the store fox. 290 00:10:32,064 --> 00:10:33,664 You haven't seen it, have you? 291 00:10:33,764 --> 00:10:36,111 - Only fox round here is me. 292 00:10:36,211 --> 00:10:39,826 (growls jokingly) 293 00:10:39,926 --> 00:10:41,318 - It's like herding cats. 294 00:10:41,418 --> 00:10:45,215 Not even normal cats like really easily distracted cats. 295 00:10:45,315 --> 00:10:47,481 - Now, come on, Daniel, you can do it. 296 00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:50,583 - Hey, they only need to listen and show minor comprehension to pass. 297 00:10:50,683 --> 00:10:53,108 - I think even that might be beyond the Valco princess. 298 00:10:53,208 --> 00:10:54,606 She is impossible. 299 00:10:54,706 --> 00:10:59,233 I think she might be the only person to ever fail first aid. 300 00:10:59,333 --> 00:11:02,288 - Now Charlotte, I'm afraid I can't let you back 301 00:11:02,388 --> 00:11:03,658 on my computer right now. 302 00:11:03,758 --> 00:11:04,819 - Oh, nope, nope, nope. 303 00:11:04,919 --> 00:11:07,225 I'm just here to have my lunch. 304 00:11:07,325 --> 00:11:11,173 Hey, Gavvy, you never told us that you're having a barbecue on Saturday. 305 00:11:11,273 --> 00:11:13,746 Don't worry, it's totally in my diary now. 306 00:11:13,846 --> 00:11:15,733 - That's great news. 307 00:11:15,833 --> 00:11:17,217 Now, why are you having lunch here? 308 00:11:17,217 --> 00:11:19,765 - I went to a barbecue at Richard Branson's house 309 00:11:19,865 --> 00:11:22,080 and Adele was there, singing. 310 00:11:22,180 --> 00:11:24,495 Gavin, you should totally have Adele sing at your barbecue. 311 00:11:24,495 --> 00:11:28,199 - Not sure that Adele would really fancy coming. 312 00:11:28,299 --> 00:11:29,818 What on earth is your lunch? 313 00:11:29,918 --> 00:11:32,519 - Crisps and fish pate, duh. 314 00:11:32,619 --> 00:11:36,573 Oh, my god, Daniel, have you told Gavin how much fun first aid is? 315 00:11:36,673 --> 00:11:37,657 - Kind of, yeah. 316 00:11:37,757 --> 00:11:38,490 - I love it. 317 00:11:38,590 --> 00:11:41,297 It's so exciting. And I've never passed anything before. 318 00:11:41,397 --> 00:11:43,564 Daddy's gonna be so proud. 319 00:11:44,744 --> 00:11:45,577 Oh. 320 00:11:47,963 --> 00:11:50,213 Oh, that is disgusting, oh. 321 00:11:53,593 --> 00:11:54,941 Gavin? 322 00:11:55,041 --> 00:11:57,966 Can I have your jacket potato? 323 00:11:58,066 --> 00:11:59,290 - Again? 324 00:11:59,390 --> 00:12:00,223 - Yeah. 325 00:12:01,615 --> 00:12:02,448 - Fine. 326 00:12:03,831 --> 00:12:04,664 All yours. 327 00:12:12,185 --> 00:12:14,948 - So if you're being attacked by a dog, 328 00:12:15,048 --> 00:12:17,675 make eye contact, bark twice. 329 00:12:17,775 --> 00:12:18,538 - [Group] Woof, woof! 330 00:12:18,638 --> 00:12:20,567 - And it'll back down. Works everytime. 331 00:12:20,667 --> 00:12:21,640 - Good to know. 332 00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:24,373 My neighbor's dog has taken quite the dislike to me. 333 00:12:24,473 --> 00:12:27,770 - Ah, here comes my deputy teacher. 334 00:12:27,870 --> 00:12:30,210 So Daniel, fancy taking over for a bit? 335 00:12:30,310 --> 00:12:32,310 - Yes, thank you, Brian. 336 00:12:34,986 --> 00:12:37,288 Right, what do you guys know about resuscitation? 337 00:12:37,388 --> 00:12:40,225 - They put Jesus in a cave and he climbed out. 338 00:12:40,325 --> 00:12:41,383 - Resuscitation. 339 00:12:41,483 --> 00:12:43,046 Mouth-to-mouth. 340 00:12:43,146 --> 00:12:44,803 - Do you want a go at mouth-to-mouth? 341 00:12:44,903 --> 00:12:46,674 Oh yeah, getting for that in a minute. 342 00:12:46,774 --> 00:12:49,034 - I would rather not discuss my private affa-- 343 00:12:49,134 --> 00:12:50,849 My private business. 344 00:12:50,949 --> 00:12:53,126 - See, I thought you was better than this, Nev. 345 00:12:53,226 --> 00:12:54,587 I'm mean sure, you're a bit of a wuss but-- 346 00:12:54,587 --> 00:12:55,320 - A bit rude. 347 00:12:55,420 --> 00:12:56,413 - You're a decent bloke, 348 00:12:56,413 --> 00:12:58,115 you shouldn't be seeing someone else's woman, 349 00:12:58,115 --> 00:12:59,713 a woman who clearly hates ya. 350 00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:02,077 - I've always had a soft spot for Vanessa. 351 00:13:02,177 --> 00:13:05,974 She's the only woman who's ever liked me. 352 00:13:06,074 --> 00:13:07,834 - Oh, Nev, loads of women like you. 353 00:13:07,934 --> 00:13:09,619 Even I snogged you once. 354 00:13:09,719 --> 00:13:11,816 - Yes, you did, didn't you? 355 00:13:11,916 --> 00:13:12,726 - I was hammered. 356 00:13:12,826 --> 00:13:14,787 Never gonna happen again. - Right. 357 00:13:16,296 --> 00:13:17,029 - Right. 358 00:13:17,129 --> 00:13:18,344 - I remember my first kiss. 359 00:13:18,444 --> 00:13:20,984 It was with Shaun, our stable boy. 360 00:13:21,084 --> 00:13:23,094 And Daddy got so mad, he had him fired. 361 00:13:23,194 --> 00:13:24,928 - It sounds like Shaun got off very lightly. 362 00:13:24,928 --> 00:13:26,842 - Oh no, actually, I broke his nose. 363 00:13:26,942 --> 00:13:28,327 - No! 364 00:13:28,427 --> 00:13:32,177 Can we please just concentrate, for a minute? 365 00:13:33,854 --> 00:13:35,080 Thank you! 366 00:13:35,180 --> 00:13:37,549 Right, back to the dummy. 367 00:13:37,649 --> 00:13:38,482 Neville? 368 00:13:39,352 --> 00:13:42,975 Can you get its heart started, please? CPR starts with compression to the chest 369 00:13:43,075 --> 00:13:44,924 and breath to the mouth. 370 00:13:45,024 --> 00:13:48,978 - Oh, this reminds me of the last time I saw dad. 371 00:13:49,078 --> 00:13:50,258 - Oh, don't worry, Neville. 372 00:13:50,358 --> 00:13:52,117 I'll bring this zombie back to life. 373 00:13:52,217 --> 00:13:52,950 (Charlie gasps) 374 00:13:53,050 --> 00:13:55,300 (laughing) 375 00:13:57,353 --> 00:13:59,777 - Oh, fantastic, good work, Charlie! 376 00:13:59,877 --> 00:14:02,707 You've just decapitated a member of the public. 377 00:14:02,807 --> 00:14:05,973 What do you say to the person whose head you just pulled off? 378 00:14:06,073 --> 00:14:08,041 - I'm sorry I pulled off your head. 379 00:14:08,141 --> 00:14:09,974 It won't happen again. 380 00:14:11,205 --> 00:14:12,411 - You are beyond hopeless. 381 00:14:12,511 --> 00:14:13,404 - I didn't mean to. 382 00:14:13,504 --> 00:14:14,600 It was an accident. 383 00:14:14,700 --> 00:14:15,590 - Enough! 384 00:14:15,690 --> 00:14:18,940 I hereby declare today's training over. 385 00:14:19,794 --> 00:14:22,967 Brian, Margaret, Neville, Linda, congratulations. 386 00:14:23,067 --> 00:14:24,746 You've all passed first-aid training. 387 00:14:24,846 --> 00:14:25,679 Well done. 388 00:14:28,192 --> 00:14:29,547 - What about me, Daniel? 389 00:14:29,647 --> 00:14:31,549 'Cause it'd be good to know so I could tell Daddy-- 390 00:14:31,549 --> 00:14:33,018 - No, Charlie, no! 391 00:14:33,118 --> 00:14:36,279 You haven't passed. You have failed, miserably! 392 00:14:38,864 --> 00:14:40,675 - He's defeated me, Harry. 393 00:14:40,775 --> 00:14:41,759 - Ah, come on, mate. 394 00:14:41,859 --> 00:14:43,331 You can't give up like that. 395 00:14:43,431 --> 00:14:44,363 - Give up? 396 00:14:44,463 --> 00:14:46,182 I'm doing more than giving up. 397 00:14:46,282 --> 00:14:47,835 I'm handing in my notice. 398 00:14:47,935 --> 00:14:48,741 - You can't do that! 399 00:14:48,841 --> 00:14:49,781 Don't be daft. 400 00:14:49,881 --> 00:14:51,694 - I'll just tell Gavin straight. 401 00:14:51,794 --> 00:14:54,485 God, I hope he still lets me come to the barbecue. 402 00:14:54,585 --> 00:14:57,418 Apparently Adele's gonna be there. 403 00:14:58,521 --> 00:15:00,252 - Sue, I need your help, it's Ian. 404 00:15:00,352 --> 00:15:01,672 I've been winding him up about all day 405 00:15:01,672 --> 00:15:04,178 about a made-up fox and now he's gone mental. 406 00:15:04,278 --> 00:15:05,299 He's gonna quit! 407 00:15:05,399 --> 00:15:07,402 - Well, how'd you expect me to help? 408 00:15:07,502 --> 00:15:10,562 - You're the smartest one here. You'll think of something. 409 00:15:10,662 --> 00:15:13,829 - Go and get a bin bag from houseware. 410 00:15:26,029 --> 00:15:28,806 - Listen, Charlie, I'm sorry I failed you at first aid 411 00:15:28,906 --> 00:15:30,876 but there was a good reason. 412 00:15:30,976 --> 00:15:32,476 You were terrible. 413 00:15:34,245 --> 00:15:35,912 - I've let you down. 414 00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:38,812 I just really wanted to be good at something 415 00:15:38,912 --> 00:15:42,164 and I really thought that being a nurse would be it. 416 00:15:42,264 --> 00:15:44,528 - You don't get to be a nurse. 417 00:15:44,628 --> 00:15:47,628 But I am gonna give you another try. 418 00:15:48,865 --> 00:15:50,115 - What, really? 419 00:15:51,364 --> 00:15:52,097 You mean it? 420 00:15:52,197 --> 00:15:53,509 - Yep, I'm not gonna give up on you 421 00:15:53,609 --> 00:15:57,776 even if I have to try and try and try and try and try again. 422 00:15:59,281 --> 00:16:00,801 - I promise I won't let you down. 423 00:16:00,901 --> 00:16:03,417 I'll be the best nurse you ever trained. 424 00:16:03,517 --> 00:16:05,104 - Uhm, yeah. 425 00:16:05,204 --> 00:16:06,787 Again, not a nurse. 426 00:16:17,932 --> 00:16:19,780 - Alright, just pretend it's Vanessa. 427 00:16:19,880 --> 00:16:23,379 How you gonna break up with her? - Oh, you're looking fantastic. 428 00:16:23,479 --> 00:16:26,632 - You don't compliment! You're supposed to lay down the law! 429 00:16:26,732 --> 00:16:28,831 - Vanessa, here's the thing. 430 00:16:28,931 --> 00:16:31,731 Maybe it's not working out. 431 00:16:31,831 --> 00:16:33,679 - Shut up, Neville, you worm! 432 00:16:33,779 --> 00:16:34,549 - No. 433 00:16:34,649 --> 00:16:38,816 No, I don't think what we're doing is fair on Mike or me 434 00:16:40,346 --> 00:16:42,109 and I'm not standing for it. 435 00:16:42,209 --> 00:16:43,270 - Yes, come on, Nev, come on. 436 00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:47,485 - You have treated me like dirt my entire adult life 437 00:16:47,585 --> 00:16:49,716 and I am not dirt. 438 00:16:49,816 --> 00:16:53,983 I am Neville, I am a good man and you are dumped, Vanessa. 439 00:16:56,250 --> 00:16:58,471 - [Vanessa] Oh, I am, am I? 440 00:16:58,571 --> 00:16:59,404 - Vanessa! 441 00:17:00,275 --> 00:17:03,283 Ooh, what a lovely surprise. 442 00:17:03,383 --> 00:17:06,057 Just messing about with a dummy. 443 00:17:06,157 --> 00:17:08,219 - Yes, I can see that. 444 00:17:08,319 --> 00:17:09,930 Didn't sound like messing about. 445 00:17:10,030 --> 00:17:12,198 - Just harmless fun. 446 00:17:12,298 --> 00:17:13,814 - Oh, for god's sake, Nev, tell her! 447 00:17:13,914 --> 00:17:15,306 - Do you wanna stay out of it, love? 448 00:17:15,406 --> 00:17:18,578 - Why don't you leave Neville alone? - Neville, tell this blonde bimbo 449 00:17:18,678 --> 00:17:21,392 that the grown-ups are talking. 450 00:17:21,492 --> 00:17:22,742 - Now, hang on. 451 00:17:23,604 --> 00:17:26,150 Linda here is not a bimbo. 452 00:17:26,250 --> 00:17:28,500 She is a very lovely woman. 453 00:17:29,433 --> 00:17:32,319 A woman who I actually once kissed. 454 00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:34,919 - Ah, she gets the point, Nev. 455 00:17:36,800 --> 00:17:40,219 - I don't want to see you anymore, Vanessa. 456 00:17:40,319 --> 00:17:41,787 - Fine. 457 00:17:41,887 --> 00:17:45,552 In fact, I was coming in to end it anyway. 458 00:17:45,652 --> 00:17:49,025 Neville, you are the most pathetic man I've-- 459 00:17:49,125 --> 00:17:49,958 - Shut up. 460 00:17:51,109 --> 00:17:53,109 You shut up and get out! 461 00:17:54,002 --> 00:17:55,717 And stay out! 462 00:17:55,817 --> 00:17:57,081 You! 463 00:17:57,181 --> 00:17:58,514 You're horrible! 464 00:18:08,844 --> 00:18:10,152 - Yes, Nev! 465 00:18:10,252 --> 00:18:11,862 - I'm hyperventilating. 466 00:18:11,962 --> 00:18:12,695 Has she gone? 467 00:18:12,795 --> 00:18:13,528 - Yes! 468 00:18:13,628 --> 00:18:14,565 - Yes. 469 00:18:14,665 --> 00:18:18,130 - Now, it was only intended as a private barbecue. 470 00:18:18,230 --> 00:18:19,751 Now. 471 00:18:19,851 --> 00:18:22,410 Now, there's been a lot of crossed wires 472 00:18:22,510 --> 00:18:25,801 so, unfortunately, the barbecue is off. 473 00:18:25,901 --> 00:18:26,634 - What? 474 00:18:26,734 --> 00:18:29,929 - Bloody heck, Gav, I've already bought 68 burgers! 475 00:18:30,029 --> 00:18:31,228 - Well, I'm sorry, but it was only supposed 476 00:18:31,228 --> 00:18:32,657 to be for family and friends. 477 00:18:32,757 --> 00:18:34,186 - I thought we were your friends. 478 00:18:34,286 --> 00:18:36,462 - Yeah, what happened to the Valco family? 479 00:18:36,562 --> 00:18:37,992 I thought we had a date. 480 00:18:38,092 --> 00:18:38,825 - A what? 481 00:18:38,925 --> 00:18:39,658 No, look. 482 00:18:39,758 --> 00:18:42,639 I'm sorry, there's a difference between home life and work life. 483 00:18:42,739 --> 00:18:44,042 That's just the way it is. 484 00:18:44,142 --> 00:18:45,967 - [Linda] What's going on? - Barbecue's off. 485 00:18:46,067 --> 00:18:47,792 So you wanna buy some cheap burgers? 486 00:18:47,892 --> 00:18:49,662 - Great, I really wanted to see Adele. 487 00:18:49,762 --> 00:18:50,845 - [All] Yeah. 488 00:18:54,028 --> 00:18:55,216 - Oh, what am I thinking? 489 00:18:55,316 --> 00:18:57,941 Of course you're my family! 490 00:18:58,041 --> 00:18:59,935 Will you all do me the honour 491 00:19:00,035 --> 00:19:03,160 of joining me for a barbecue this weekend? 492 00:19:03,260 --> 00:19:03,993 - [All] Yeah! 493 00:19:04,093 --> 00:19:06,411 - Result! - That's great news, Gav. 494 00:19:06,511 --> 00:19:09,128 Hope you go to big garden. I'll be bringing my four Labradors along. 495 00:19:09,128 --> 00:19:11,678 They need a lot of space to run wild. 496 00:19:11,778 --> 00:19:14,710 - Gavin, I've got something to tell you. 497 00:19:14,810 --> 00:19:16,643 - [Sue] Ian, Ian, Ian! 498 00:19:17,586 --> 00:19:18,586 - Excuse me. 499 00:19:20,144 --> 00:19:20,955 - [Harry] We got it! 500 00:19:21,055 --> 00:19:22,186 - Got what? 501 00:19:22,286 --> 00:19:24,301 - We saw it sniffing around the fish section. 502 00:19:24,401 --> 00:19:26,869 Brained it with a four-pack of tinned tuna. 503 00:19:26,969 --> 00:19:27,743 - He's gone, Ian. 504 00:19:27,843 --> 00:19:28,576 He's gone. 505 00:19:28,676 --> 00:19:30,632 - Oh, thank you! 506 00:19:30,732 --> 00:19:32,127 Thank you so much! 507 00:19:32,227 --> 00:19:34,134 I thought I'd never get him! - Well, you didn't, but-- 508 00:19:34,234 --> 00:19:36,206 - You thought you had me, didn't you? 509 00:19:36,306 --> 00:19:41,043 - I'm sorry, but what in the name of black hell is going on? 510 00:19:41,143 --> 00:19:42,659 - Nothing, Gavin. 511 00:19:42,759 --> 00:19:46,176 It's just, it's been a bit of a long day. 512 00:19:47,814 --> 00:19:49,203 Cheers, Gav. 513 00:19:49,303 --> 00:19:50,697 See you at the barbie. 514 00:19:50,797 --> 00:19:51,630 Come on! 515 00:19:56,090 --> 00:19:56,948 - Come on, Charlie. 516 00:19:57,048 --> 00:19:58,975 Just get this right and you've passed! 517 00:19:59,075 --> 00:20:02,072 - Oh, my god, the pressure! My brain is literally exploding right now. 518 00:20:02,172 --> 00:20:03,603 - You're so close. 519 00:20:03,703 --> 00:20:06,036 - Okay, your heart is there. 520 00:20:10,771 --> 00:20:12,691 - That's right, Charlie, you've passed! 521 00:20:12,791 --> 00:20:14,019 - Oh, my god, oh my god! 522 00:20:14,119 --> 00:20:16,700 Just tell me, I can't take the suspense anymore. 523 00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:17,698 - I just did. 524 00:20:17,798 --> 00:20:19,727 You've passed, well done! 525 00:20:19,827 --> 00:20:20,880 - Oh, my god! 526 00:20:20,980 --> 00:20:23,077 Oh, god, thank you! 527 00:20:23,177 --> 00:20:24,927 - Oh, hello, you two. 528 00:20:26,114 --> 00:20:27,425 How did it go? 529 00:20:27,525 --> 00:20:28,713 - I passed! 530 00:20:28,813 --> 00:20:30,287 I'm a qualified nurse. 531 00:20:30,387 --> 00:20:31,574 - No, not nurse. 532 00:20:31,674 --> 00:20:32,734 - Well done, you! 533 00:20:32,834 --> 00:20:34,751 I knew you could do it! 534 00:20:35,847 --> 00:20:37,163 Lady in red. 535 00:20:37,263 --> 00:20:38,697 - I'll see you at the barbecue. 536 00:20:38,797 --> 00:20:40,519 I'm going to bring my pony, William. 537 00:20:40,619 --> 00:20:42,301 He loves sausages. 538 00:20:42,401 --> 00:20:43,449 Oh, what a great day! 539 00:20:43,549 --> 00:20:45,216 I passed, I knew it! 540 00:20:46,200 --> 00:20:47,548 - She didn't pass, did she? 541 00:20:47,648 --> 00:20:49,898 - No, that would be insane. 542 00:20:52,238 --> 00:20:54,914 - So, if anyone chokes on a burger at the barbecue, 543 00:20:55,014 --> 00:20:58,019 we're on first-aid duty, right? 544 00:20:58,119 --> 00:21:01,403 - So, you fancy being my date for Gavin's barbecue? 545 00:21:01,503 --> 00:21:03,179 - Not on your life. - Oh. 546 00:21:03,279 --> 00:21:04,093 - Mwa! 547 00:21:04,193 --> 00:21:05,546 - Oh. 548 00:21:05,646 --> 00:21:07,037 - Come on, slowcoach. 549 00:21:07,137 --> 00:21:09,054 - All right, all right! 550 00:21:10,006 --> 00:21:13,423 (growls from a distance) 551 00:21:16,087 --> 00:21:17,438 Sue, the fox! 552 00:21:17,538 --> 00:21:18,271 It's here! 553 00:21:18,371 --> 00:21:20,899 - Pull the other one, you lying git. 554 00:21:20,999 --> 00:21:23,082 (growls) 555 00:21:30,163 --> 00:21:32,746 (mellow music) 556 00:21:49,733 --> 00:21:52,900 (cheerful rock music)