1 00:00:02,997 --> 00:00:04,802 - Can she just stop that now? - Huah! 2 00:00:04,902 --> 00:00:06,522 Ah, he keeps on moving it. Huah! 3 00:00:06,622 --> 00:00:08,549 - From booze to biscuits. 4 00:00:08,649 --> 00:00:09,623 - Red hot deals. 5 00:00:09,723 --> 00:00:10,677 - Loads of two-for-ones. 6 00:00:10,777 --> 00:00:12,319 - Don't forget the Valco tick. 7 00:00:12,419 --> 00:00:14,466 - Everyone always gets it wrong. It's definitely that way. 8 00:00:14,466 --> 00:00:15,541 - Tick. 9 00:00:15,641 --> 00:00:16,374 - Tick. 10 00:00:16,474 --> 00:00:18,318 - And I'm not doing that tick thing either! 11 00:00:18,418 --> 00:00:19,635 - Am I getting paid for this? 12 00:00:19,735 --> 00:00:20,468 - Ha ha! 13 00:00:20,568 --> 00:00:21,803 - Serves you right! 14 00:00:21,903 --> 00:00:24,458 - [All] Valco, serves you right! 15 00:00:24,558 --> 00:00:27,904 (upbeat happy music) 16 00:00:28,004 --> 00:00:30,051 - There's nothing I like more than spending good times 17 00:00:30,051 --> 00:00:32,342 with family and friends. 18 00:00:32,442 --> 00:00:34,065 That's why I've cooked up the Freddie 19 00:00:34,165 --> 00:00:36,314 Flintoff Party Platter. 20 00:00:36,414 --> 00:00:38,746 Crispy duck pancakes, succulent chicken 21 00:00:38,846 --> 00:00:41,300 skewers and buttery sausage rolls. 22 00:00:41,400 --> 00:00:42,232 Yum. 23 00:00:42,332 --> 00:00:43,065 - Mm. 24 00:00:43,165 --> 00:00:43,922 - I'm bowled over! 25 00:00:44,022 --> 00:00:45,584 - And you will be too. 26 00:00:45,684 --> 00:00:49,728 Freddie Flintoff's Party Platter range, exclusively at Valco. 27 00:00:49,828 --> 00:00:51,066 How's that? 28 00:00:51,166 --> 00:00:53,866 - Freddie Flintoff's Party Platty. 29 00:00:53,966 --> 00:00:56,549 Freddie Flintoff's Patty Party. 30 00:00:57,737 --> 00:01:01,165 Ooh, it's a right mouthful, isn't it? 31 00:01:01,265 --> 00:01:02,397 - Right, now, ladies. 32 00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:05,041 Freddie Flintoff will be here any moment. - Who? 33 00:01:05,141 --> 00:01:06,093 - Freddie Flintoff. 34 00:01:06,193 --> 00:01:08,443 - I've no idea who that is. 35 00:01:10,090 --> 00:01:11,450 - Freddie, Freddie Flintoff. 36 00:01:11,550 --> 00:01:14,941 His advert has been playing right next to you the entire morning. 37 00:01:15,041 --> 00:01:16,696 - I don't watch television, 38 00:01:16,796 --> 00:01:19,160 apart from Emmerdale, and he's not in that, is he? 39 00:01:19,260 --> 00:01:20,018 - Course he's not. 40 00:01:20,118 --> 00:01:21,535 He's a cricketer. 41 00:01:22,564 --> 00:01:24,125 - That's him, is it? 42 00:01:24,225 --> 00:01:25,618 Young men today. 43 00:01:25,718 --> 00:01:27,135 All that tanning. 44 00:01:28,089 --> 00:01:29,986 Why do you insist on all this 45 00:01:30,086 --> 00:01:32,152 preening and waxing, Gavin? 46 00:01:32,252 --> 00:01:32,985 - What? 47 00:01:33,085 --> 00:01:33,925 Well, I don't. 48 00:01:34,025 --> 00:01:35,941 - I suppose you've got a tattoo. 49 00:01:36,041 --> 00:01:36,837 - No! 50 00:01:36,937 --> 00:01:38,405 - A tattoo?! 51 00:01:38,505 --> 00:01:39,880 Oh, Gavin! 52 00:01:39,980 --> 00:01:41,541 - Where is it, then, hey? 53 00:01:41,641 --> 00:01:43,240 Your tramp stamp. 54 00:01:43,340 --> 00:01:45,349 Somewhere unspeakable? 55 00:01:45,449 --> 00:01:47,794 - Gavin, love, you've got a nice face. 56 00:01:47,894 --> 00:01:49,792 There's no need for any of that. 57 00:01:49,892 --> 00:01:51,908 - That's probably why he started waxing down there, 58 00:01:51,908 --> 00:01:54,272 to make way for the tattoo. 59 00:01:54,372 --> 00:01:55,933 Now it's a vicious circle. 60 00:01:56,033 --> 00:01:58,285 - No, look just, please, 61 00:01:58,385 --> 00:02:00,052 just leave me alone. 62 00:02:01,446 --> 00:02:03,605 - Any more for any more? 63 00:02:03,705 --> 00:02:06,181 - I have got like the mother-in-law of all hangovers here. 64 00:02:06,281 --> 00:02:07,014 - Unlikely. 65 00:02:07,114 --> 00:02:10,642 97% of the time the effects of alcohol are psychosomatic. 66 00:02:10,742 --> 00:02:13,032 So what did you ingest? A small sherry? 67 00:02:13,132 --> 00:02:14,600 - Yeah. 68 00:02:14,700 --> 00:02:16,896 Six bottles of Newkie brown ale, 69 00:02:16,996 --> 00:02:17,996 vodka, lots. 70 00:02:19,068 --> 00:02:21,469 Schnapps, MD 20/20, 71 00:02:21,569 --> 00:02:24,400 and then this kind of, kind of a thing. 72 00:02:24,500 --> 00:02:27,069 Came in a metal can, tasted like petrol. 73 00:02:27,169 --> 00:02:29,010 Oh, God, it might have been petrol. 74 00:02:29,110 --> 00:02:30,933 - Sounds like quite the pub crawl. 75 00:02:31,033 --> 00:02:33,310 - Nah, me and Lisa just went to the pictures last night. 76 00:02:33,310 --> 00:02:34,573 - Well, it's my professional 77 00:02:34,673 --> 00:02:37,821 diagnosis that you have a hangover. 78 00:02:37,921 --> 00:02:39,072 - Oh, genius. 79 00:02:39,172 --> 00:02:42,172 - And what you need is Hangoverover. 80 00:02:43,278 --> 00:02:44,056 - You what? 81 00:02:44,156 --> 00:02:46,053 - My patented miracle cure that 82 00:02:46,153 --> 00:02:48,236 makes your hangover over. 83 00:02:49,084 --> 00:02:49,861 - So is it safe? 84 00:02:49,961 --> 00:02:51,541 - "Is it safe?" he asks. 85 00:02:51,641 --> 00:02:53,034 Me and big Dave McGinty used to 86 00:02:53,134 --> 00:02:55,536 take it all the time at med school. 87 00:02:55,636 --> 00:02:58,062 Would have been huge if Big Dave hadn't suddenly dropped 88 00:02:58,062 --> 00:02:59,904 dead during the graduation ceremony. 89 00:03:00,004 --> 00:03:01,565 - (laughs) Oh. 90 00:03:01,665 --> 00:03:03,394 Yeah, all right, I'm in, I'm in. 91 00:03:03,494 --> 00:03:04,327 Yeah. 92 00:03:06,238 --> 00:03:09,162 - And this is the pitch where you and him will play cricket. 93 00:03:09,262 --> 00:03:10,326 - Oh, it's just preposterous, 94 00:03:10,326 --> 00:03:13,512 the things that head office think of for publicity. 95 00:03:13,612 --> 00:03:15,173 How fast does he bowl anyway? 96 00:03:15,273 --> 00:03:18,608 - Oh no more than 90 miles an hour, I think. 97 00:03:18,708 --> 00:03:20,291 - 90 miles an hour? 98 00:03:21,508 --> 00:03:22,675 Man on a wire. 99 00:03:25,876 --> 00:03:27,213 - Gavin! 100 00:03:27,313 --> 00:03:28,090 - Oh, yes, yes, Ian. 101 00:03:28,190 --> 00:03:29,621 - [Ian] About this VIP visit. 102 00:03:29,721 --> 00:03:30,704 - Mm-hm. 103 00:03:30,804 --> 00:03:34,605 - My sources tell me it's uh, Freddie Flintoff. 104 00:03:34,705 --> 00:03:37,141 - Glad to see you're on top of your game there, Ian. 105 00:03:37,241 --> 00:03:38,784 - Got to say, we have a major 106 00:03:38,884 --> 00:03:40,725 security issue on our hands. 107 00:03:40,825 --> 00:03:44,085 - Listen, it's just a few local press and a meet-and-greet for Freddie. 108 00:03:44,185 --> 00:03:45,410 It's all very standard. 109 00:03:45,510 --> 00:03:46,288 - For you, maybe. 110 00:03:46,388 --> 00:03:48,173 But I might have to take a bullet for him. 111 00:03:48,273 --> 00:03:49,386 - Ian, no-one is going to 112 00:03:49,486 --> 00:03:51,066 assassinate Freddie Flintoff. 113 00:03:51,166 --> 00:03:53,138 - Not while I've got air in my lungs. 114 00:03:53,238 --> 00:03:55,509 But I am going to need to take some extra precautions. 115 00:03:55,609 --> 00:03:56,610 - Like what? 116 00:03:56,710 --> 00:03:57,562 - I'll need a gun. 117 00:03:57,662 --> 00:03:58,395 - No! 118 00:03:58,495 --> 00:03:59,228 - A Taser. 119 00:03:59,328 --> 00:04:01,358 - Oh, for goodness' sake! - Fine, have it your way, but I insist 120 00:04:01,358 --> 00:04:04,191 on a stick with a nail through it. 121 00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:07,064 A big net. 122 00:04:07,164 --> 00:04:07,997 - Oh, yes. 123 00:04:10,374 --> 00:04:11,245 - Here it is. 124 00:04:11,345 --> 00:04:15,258 My secret miracle hangover cure, Hangoverover. 125 00:04:15,358 --> 00:04:16,091 - Wow. 126 00:04:16,191 --> 00:04:19,402 - Wait wait wait, it's very important that you line your stomach first. 127 00:04:19,502 --> 00:04:20,502 - With what? 128 00:04:21,574 --> 00:04:22,744 - Cough sweets. 129 00:04:22,844 --> 00:04:23,796 - Colin, what are you doing here? 130 00:04:23,796 --> 00:04:25,382 There's a pile of boxes in the loading bay. 131 00:04:25,382 --> 00:04:26,253 - Yeah, I'm having a-- 132 00:04:26,353 --> 00:04:27,616 - I'm afraid that cannot be 133 00:04:27,716 --> 00:04:29,725 disclosed as I intend to patent, 134 00:04:29,825 --> 00:04:33,290 but it has been rigorously tested in lab conditions. 135 00:04:33,390 --> 00:04:35,444 - Get the Freddie Flintoff boxes from the loading bay 136 00:04:35,444 --> 00:04:36,744 and stack them, please. 137 00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:38,573 - I've got a hangover here. 138 00:04:38,673 --> 00:04:39,842 - Have some water. 139 00:04:39,942 --> 00:04:42,201 - Water's actually one of the worst things you can drink. 140 00:04:42,201 --> 00:04:44,042 It's basically liquid asbestos. 141 00:04:44,142 --> 00:04:45,554 And that's a medical fact. 142 00:04:45,654 --> 00:04:48,074 - It's not a medical fact. 143 00:04:48,174 --> 00:04:49,424 - I'm going in. 144 00:04:51,658 --> 00:04:55,466 Ah, it's nice, that. (grunts) 145 00:04:55,566 --> 00:04:56,792 - Point proven, I think. 146 00:04:56,892 --> 00:04:58,059 - In what way? 147 00:05:03,782 --> 00:05:04,893 - There we go. 148 00:05:04,993 --> 00:05:05,826 Good. 149 00:05:05,926 --> 00:05:07,058 - You're a trooper, Gavin. 150 00:05:07,158 --> 00:05:09,641 You're certainly earning that holiday. Where are you going? 151 00:05:09,641 --> 00:05:10,904 - Well, my cycling club do a 152 00:05:11,004 --> 00:05:14,133 Pedal Through The Tulips tour. 153 00:05:14,233 --> 00:05:15,496 Hull to Haarlem. 154 00:05:15,596 --> 00:05:16,616 - Oh, with a little bit of 155 00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:18,277 window shopping in Amsterdam 156 00:05:18,377 --> 00:05:21,021 on the way, no doubt, you sly dog. 157 00:05:21,121 --> 00:05:22,888 - Guilty as charged. 158 00:05:22,988 --> 00:05:25,576 I've lost weeks to a good ogle 159 00:05:25,676 --> 00:05:27,181 through an Amsterdam window. 160 00:05:27,281 --> 00:05:29,328 The things they have on offer 161 00:05:29,428 --> 00:05:31,568 there you just can't find in Warrington. 162 00:05:31,668 --> 00:05:33,416 And believe me, I've looked. 163 00:05:33,516 --> 00:05:34,516 - Oh, right. 164 00:05:35,662 --> 00:05:38,624 - This helmet is giving me a headache. 165 00:05:38,724 --> 00:05:40,224 - [Charlotte] Aah! 166 00:05:41,661 --> 00:05:42,394 - Charlotte! 167 00:05:42,494 --> 00:05:43,813 What on earth are you doing? 168 00:05:43,913 --> 00:05:45,717 - Oh, I got like 169 00:05:45,817 --> 00:05:48,069 zilch sleep last night. 170 00:05:48,169 --> 00:05:50,160 I went to this mental party 171 00:05:50,260 --> 00:05:51,821 and I lost track of time. 172 00:05:51,921 --> 00:05:53,426 (groans), we didn't fly back 173 00:05:53,526 --> 00:05:54,752 until about three. 174 00:05:54,852 --> 00:05:55,610 - Fly back? 175 00:05:55,710 --> 00:05:57,440 - Yeah, it was in Morocco. 176 00:05:57,540 --> 00:05:58,784 Anyway, I'm zonked 177 00:05:58,884 --> 00:06:00,669 so I'm going to have a little nap. (yawning) 178 00:06:00,769 --> 00:06:02,368 Will you get the blinds, Gavin? 179 00:06:02,468 --> 00:06:03,973 - Charlie, you can't sleep in here. 180 00:06:04,073 --> 00:06:05,746 - Don't worry, I'll be quiet as a mouse. 181 00:06:05,846 --> 00:06:07,096 Just ignore me. 182 00:06:09,281 --> 00:06:12,261 - Ooh, I can feel my ankles swelling up. 183 00:06:12,361 --> 00:06:15,453 I haven't been on my feet like this since I used to work at Clarks. 184 00:06:15,553 --> 00:06:17,338 - Oh, I used to work there, yeah. 185 00:06:17,438 --> 00:06:19,074 Yeah, back in the '60s. 186 00:06:19,174 --> 00:06:20,026 - Really? 187 00:06:20,126 --> 00:06:20,859 - [Maggie] Yeah. 188 00:06:20,959 --> 00:06:25,664 - Well, then we might have crossed over. I was there in the winter of '68. 189 00:06:25,764 --> 00:06:27,681 Wait a minute, Maggie?! 190 00:06:29,870 --> 00:06:30,703 - Phyllis? 191 00:06:31,868 --> 00:06:32,601 - What? 192 00:06:32,701 --> 00:06:33,534 No, Rose. 193 00:06:35,974 --> 00:06:38,600 You remember, I worked on the tills. 194 00:06:38,700 --> 00:06:40,354 I had red hair? 195 00:06:40,454 --> 00:06:41,787 About this tall. 196 00:06:42,788 --> 00:06:45,058 - Oh, Rose! (laughs) 197 00:06:45,158 --> 00:06:46,981 Oh, fancy that, after all these years! 198 00:06:47,081 --> 00:06:49,331 (laughing) 199 00:06:50,627 --> 00:06:53,036 - And what about that gorgeous hunk that used to come in to 200 00:06:53,036 --> 00:06:54,840 have his wellingtons stretched. 201 00:06:54,940 --> 00:06:56,464 What was his name? 202 00:06:56,564 --> 00:06:58,946 - Oh, I don't know who you mean. 203 00:06:59,046 --> 00:07:01,504 - We both fancied the pants off him. 204 00:07:01,604 --> 00:07:03,949 Big glasses, tiny head. 205 00:07:04,049 --> 00:07:04,826 You know? 206 00:07:04,926 --> 00:07:06,469 We had a pact, remember? 207 00:07:06,569 --> 00:07:08,840 We agreed our friendship was more important, 208 00:07:08,940 --> 00:07:10,725 so neither of us could have him. 209 00:07:10,825 --> 00:07:13,096 - Uh, I think I'll just go uh, away. 210 00:07:13,196 --> 00:07:14,402 - Alan! 211 00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:16,381 That was it, Alan! 212 00:07:16,481 --> 00:07:18,192 You remember? 213 00:07:18,292 --> 00:07:21,477 Of course, I put our friendship above everything, 214 00:07:21,577 --> 00:07:25,845 but, oh boy, would I have liked to climb that banana. 215 00:07:25,945 --> 00:07:28,195 (laughing) 216 00:07:29,641 --> 00:07:31,558 - Ah, welcome, Freddie. 217 00:07:32,534 --> 00:07:33,853 Shall we just go over 218 00:07:33,953 --> 00:07:35,421 your speech for the launch? 219 00:07:35,521 --> 00:07:37,854 - Yeah, I was going to say it's a great honour for me to launch 220 00:07:37,854 --> 00:07:39,920 my party range at Valco. 221 00:07:40,020 --> 00:07:41,133 And it's a new experience 222 00:07:41,233 --> 00:07:44,176 because the missus usually shops at Waitrose. 223 00:07:44,276 --> 00:07:45,930 - Ah, well, I don't think we need 224 00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:48,606 to mention that, actually, Freddie. - He's right, though, this place isn't 225 00:07:48,606 --> 00:07:50,317 a patch on Waitrose. 226 00:07:50,417 --> 00:07:51,306 Yo, Fredster! 227 00:07:51,406 --> 00:07:52,594 Big fan, love your work. 228 00:07:52,694 --> 00:07:53,427 - Thanks. 229 00:07:53,527 --> 00:07:56,197 - We should do lunch sometime. - We're quite busy here, Harry. 230 00:07:56,297 --> 00:07:57,858 Would you just get back to the tills? 231 00:07:57,958 --> 00:07:59,041 Go on, go on. 232 00:08:00,012 --> 00:08:00,945 - I'm quite intrigued to know, 233 00:08:00,945 --> 00:08:04,093 are your chicken and pork-based products free-range? 234 00:08:04,193 --> 00:08:06,022 It would be good to get that in if they are. 235 00:08:06,022 --> 00:08:06,912 - No idea. 236 00:08:07,012 --> 00:08:08,293 I don't know what goes in them. 237 00:08:08,393 --> 00:08:10,925 - You're selling a product you don't know anything about? 238 00:08:11,025 --> 00:08:12,586 - Come on, Gav, everyone does it. 239 00:08:12,686 --> 00:08:13,800 Food's food, right? 240 00:08:13,900 --> 00:08:14,817 - Well, no! 241 00:08:17,894 --> 00:08:19,138 Sorry, excuse me. 242 00:08:19,238 --> 00:08:20,352 Charlie? 243 00:08:20,452 --> 00:08:21,584 Charlie! 244 00:08:21,684 --> 00:08:22,517 Charlie! 245 00:08:24,950 --> 00:08:26,922 - I'm sure Gavin's filled you in, 246 00:08:27,022 --> 00:08:28,061 but just to say, 247 00:08:28,161 --> 00:08:29,741 if I do feel an attack is imminent, 248 00:08:29,841 --> 00:08:31,841 I will block you thusly, 249 00:08:33,313 --> 00:08:34,762 or like this. 250 00:08:34,862 --> 00:08:35,595 - All right. 251 00:08:35,695 --> 00:08:37,058 I get it. I get it. 252 00:08:37,158 --> 00:08:38,477 - If it comes to it, 253 00:08:38,577 --> 00:08:40,362 I'll kill for you. 254 00:08:40,462 --> 00:08:42,042 - Cheers, man, that's good to know. 255 00:08:42,142 --> 00:08:43,816 Good to know. 256 00:08:43,916 --> 00:08:45,906 - I can't even look myself in the mirror. 257 00:08:46,006 --> 00:08:47,474 I feel that guilty. 258 00:08:47,574 --> 00:08:51,861 I told him Rose had run off with the circus. 259 00:08:51,961 --> 00:08:53,653 Ooh, I'm an horrible person!! 260 00:08:53,753 --> 00:08:55,874 - Margaret, you were in love. 261 00:08:55,974 --> 00:08:59,533 It's a strong natural female hormonal condition, 262 00:08:59,633 --> 00:09:02,050 caused by an excess of yeast. 263 00:09:03,030 --> 00:09:04,722 - Here I am! 264 00:09:04,822 --> 00:09:06,122 So what's the gossip? 265 00:09:06,222 --> 00:09:08,537 - Oh, my God, there's loads. So Margaret's worried because 266 00:09:08,537 --> 00:09:11,648 she married this guy called Alan without telling her friend Rose. 267 00:09:11,748 --> 00:09:13,048 - Oh, uh, no I. 268 00:09:13,148 --> 00:09:13,881 - Alan? 269 00:09:13,981 --> 00:09:14,714 - I, I. 270 00:09:14,814 --> 00:09:16,258 - You took him from me? 271 00:09:16,358 --> 00:09:17,472 - But I didn't realise. 272 00:09:17,572 --> 00:09:19,376 - You stole my Alan? 273 00:09:19,476 --> 00:09:21,326 - I thought you'd find another man. 274 00:09:21,426 --> 00:09:24,058 - Alan was more than a man to me! 275 00:09:24,158 --> 00:09:28,128 He was a god! (sobbing) 276 00:09:28,228 --> 00:09:31,600 - Oh, I suppose Alan does move in mysterious ways. 277 00:09:31,700 --> 00:09:33,336 - You meant that Rose. 278 00:09:33,436 --> 00:09:36,353 My brain is literally still in bed. 279 00:09:38,905 --> 00:09:41,698 - Ah, just saw the email from Head Office. They sound excited. 280 00:09:41,798 --> 00:09:44,088 - Yes, well, he's never afraid 281 00:09:44,188 --> 00:09:45,730 of an emoticon, is Martin Shell. 282 00:09:45,830 --> 00:09:48,418 To be honest this whole launch is just shambolic. 283 00:09:48,518 --> 00:09:50,658 He's a sports personality, not a chef. 284 00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:53,906 He doesn't know the products, he doesn't even shop at Valco. 285 00:09:54,006 --> 00:09:54,970 Why is he even here? 286 00:09:55,070 --> 00:09:56,557 It's just ridiculous. 287 00:09:56,657 --> 00:09:58,312 - Who's ridiculous? 288 00:09:58,412 --> 00:09:59,264 - Freddie oh. 289 00:09:59,364 --> 00:10:00,496 I, I didn't mean that-- 290 00:10:00,596 --> 00:10:02,288 - If you don't want me, I can go right now. 291 00:10:02,388 --> 00:10:03,912 - Oh-ho-ho! 292 00:10:04,012 --> 00:10:04,957 Freddie Flintoff! 293 00:10:05,057 --> 00:10:06,282 Get in! 294 00:10:06,382 --> 00:10:09,530 Oh, man you are a legend, mate! 295 00:10:09,630 --> 00:10:10,370 C'mon. 296 00:10:10,470 --> 00:10:11,752 - Yes, I am. 297 00:10:11,852 --> 00:10:12,685 - Oh. 298 00:10:19,337 --> 00:10:21,757 Any sign of Freddie? - Can't find him anywhere, sorry. 299 00:10:21,857 --> 00:10:23,873 - I've just spoken to his agent, says he's gone AWOL. 300 00:10:23,873 --> 00:10:26,088 And he's switched his phone off. This is a disaster! 301 00:10:26,188 --> 00:10:28,626 - Sorry, I am way behind today but I promise 302 00:10:28,726 --> 00:10:31,643 I will be ready in like 20 minutes. 303 00:10:32,497 --> 00:10:35,247 (dryer whirring) 304 00:10:46,483 --> 00:10:48,450 - Why've you got a face like a smacked arse? 305 00:10:48,550 --> 00:10:49,283 - Guess. 306 00:10:49,383 --> 00:10:50,116 (laughing) 307 00:10:50,216 --> 00:10:50,949 Right, Lis. 308 00:10:51,049 --> 00:10:52,918 I've got a load of Flintoff range I need to stack 309 00:10:52,918 --> 00:10:54,778 and I'm wrecked. 310 00:10:54,878 --> 00:10:56,832 Are you wrecked? - Yeah. (laughing) 311 00:10:56,932 --> 00:10:59,321 - I might have to get some more of that miracle cure from Brian. 312 00:10:59,321 --> 00:11:00,453 - What was in it? 313 00:11:00,553 --> 00:11:01,834 - I'm not too sure, but it's taken 314 00:11:01,934 --> 00:11:03,458 the skin off my tongue, look. 315 00:11:03,558 --> 00:11:04,560 - Oh. 316 00:11:04,660 --> 00:11:06,937 Mate of me sister's did a drug trial without knowing what was 317 00:11:06,937 --> 00:11:08,442 in it, right, and he ended up 318 00:11:08,542 --> 00:11:10,626 having really bad side effects. 319 00:11:10,726 --> 00:11:13,949 I think he went blind or bald. 320 00:11:14,049 --> 00:11:15,405 Or like deaf in one ear. 321 00:11:15,505 --> 00:11:17,071 - Right which one was it? - Which ear? 322 00:11:17,171 --> 00:11:18,597 - Which side effect? 323 00:11:18,697 --> 00:11:20,240 - Blind, I think. 324 00:11:20,340 --> 00:11:22,386 - Lisa, you're a bloody genius! 325 00:11:22,486 --> 00:11:23,525 Mwah! 326 00:11:23,625 --> 00:11:24,458 - Aw. 327 00:11:28,329 --> 00:11:29,256 - Come here, mmm. 328 00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:31,496 - Mmm, (laughing) mmm! 329 00:11:31,596 --> 00:11:32,429 - Mmm. 330 00:11:38,185 --> 00:11:39,336 - Perv. 331 00:11:39,436 --> 00:11:40,269 - Pop quiz. 332 00:11:40,369 --> 00:11:42,684 Freddie's about to give his speech when an assassin hurls 333 00:11:42,684 --> 00:11:44,152 a grenade from the crowd. 334 00:11:44,252 --> 00:11:45,141 What do you do? 335 00:11:45,241 --> 00:11:46,541 What do you do? 336 00:11:46,641 --> 00:11:48,445 - Body block Freddie, locate the grenade 337 00:11:48,545 --> 00:11:50,480 hurl it back at assailant, exploding him. 338 00:11:50,580 --> 00:11:52,010 - Ah, but that's just a decoy. 339 00:11:52,110 --> 00:11:53,709 The real killer has put a bomb 340 00:11:53,809 --> 00:11:57,218 in a trolley, rigged to explode when it goes over two miles an hour. 341 00:11:57,318 --> 00:11:59,234 - I'd instigate a trolley lockdown 342 00:11:59,334 --> 00:12:00,466 and a basket-only zone 343 00:12:00,566 --> 00:12:02,501 within three aisles of Flintoff. 344 00:12:02,601 --> 00:12:03,602 - God, you're good! 345 00:12:03,702 --> 00:12:05,376 - It's my duty to keep Freddie safe 346 00:12:05,476 --> 00:12:08,082 until he finishes his business at Valco. 347 00:12:08,182 --> 00:12:11,778 I intend to stick with him like a shadow in the wind. 348 00:12:11,878 --> 00:12:14,373 - Where is he, by the way? 349 00:12:14,473 --> 00:12:15,792 - I don't know. 350 00:12:15,892 --> 00:12:18,666 He could be anywhere by now. 351 00:12:18,766 --> 00:12:20,850 - Can you see anything at all, Colin? 352 00:12:20,950 --> 00:12:21,683 - I'm all right. 353 00:12:21,783 --> 00:12:23,881 Are we in a forest at the minute? - Is everything all right? 354 00:12:23,881 --> 00:12:24,614 - Mum? 355 00:12:24,714 --> 00:12:25,554 - It's Brian. 356 00:12:25,654 --> 00:12:26,387 - Brian, yeah. 357 00:12:26,487 --> 00:12:27,220 It's uh, no. 358 00:12:27,320 --> 00:12:28,952 I'm sorry, it's just you're 359 00:12:29,052 --> 00:12:31,030 so blurry and cloudy at the minute. It's probably that medicine you gave me. 360 00:12:31,030 --> 00:12:33,936 It's affected my eyesight quite a bit. - No, no, no, no, no. 361 00:12:34,036 --> 00:12:35,317 That's not possible. 362 00:12:35,417 --> 00:12:37,314 I mean, I can't think what... 363 00:12:37,414 --> 00:12:38,696 Well, it's only caffeine, 364 00:12:38,796 --> 00:12:40,376 bicarbonate of soda, sea salt. 365 00:12:40,476 --> 00:12:42,758 - I'm going to have to take a seat, Lis. - What? 366 00:12:42,858 --> 00:12:44,557 No, there's no chair there, Colin. 367 00:12:44,657 --> 00:12:45,390 - Ohhh. 368 00:12:45,490 --> 00:12:47,357 - You need to get him isolated. 369 00:12:47,457 --> 00:12:48,813 - No I've got to stack 370 00:12:48,913 --> 00:12:50,437 boxes before the launch. 371 00:12:50,537 --> 00:12:52,061 I can't leave them like that. 372 00:12:52,161 --> 00:12:53,218 - I can handle that. 373 00:12:53,318 --> 00:12:54,824 Just don't tell anyone. 374 00:12:54,924 --> 00:12:55,981 - Gavin? 375 00:12:56,081 --> 00:12:56,893 - [Gavin] Daniel! 376 00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,573 - There's no need to get anyone else 377 00:12:58,673 --> 00:13:01,970 involved, it'll pass in a minute. 378 00:13:02,070 --> 00:13:04,173 Just keep him hidden. 379 00:13:04,273 --> 00:13:05,144 (groans) 380 00:13:05,244 --> 00:13:07,626 (laughing) 381 00:13:07,726 --> 00:13:08,559 - Yes! 382 00:13:09,484 --> 00:13:10,725 Oh, my God, Colin! 383 00:13:10,825 --> 00:13:11,882 Can you really not see? 384 00:13:11,982 --> 00:13:12,715 - I can't. 385 00:13:12,815 --> 00:13:13,898 It's just that I. 386 00:13:13,998 --> 00:13:14,731 - Ah! 387 00:13:14,831 --> 00:13:15,893 You're good at this! 388 00:13:15,993 --> 00:13:17,110 - (laughing) I am good at it. 389 00:13:17,210 --> 00:13:20,418 - You are good at it. (laughing) 390 00:13:20,518 --> 00:13:22,416 - You'll be fine, blindness is covered 391 00:13:22,516 --> 00:13:24,413 by public liability insurance, 392 00:13:24,513 --> 00:13:26,112 you won't get sued this time. 393 00:13:26,212 --> 00:13:27,462 Don't touch it! 394 00:13:28,302 --> 00:13:29,528 - Er, Mr Flintoff, 395 00:13:29,628 --> 00:13:32,309 it's Gavin Strong again. 396 00:13:32,409 --> 00:13:35,072 Just wondering if you might return my call. 397 00:13:35,172 --> 00:13:36,172 Well, calls. 398 00:13:37,897 --> 00:13:38,861 Yeah. Right. 399 00:13:38,961 --> 00:13:39,888 Many thanks. 400 00:13:39,988 --> 00:13:43,042 What's happened to Colin? - He knew the risks when he took it! 401 00:13:43,142 --> 00:13:45,021 - What are you talking about? - Nothing. 402 00:13:45,121 --> 00:13:47,660 - Why are you doing that and not Colin? - I don't know, and even if I did 403 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,743 know, you can't blame me! 404 00:13:52,457 --> 00:13:53,790 I said leave it. 405 00:13:57,516 --> 00:13:58,368 - You're a Jezebel! 406 00:13:58,468 --> 00:13:59,954 A heartless, scheming Jezebel 407 00:14:00,054 --> 00:14:02,435 Try one of these, madam? 408 00:14:02,535 --> 00:14:03,530 - I'm sorry, Rose. 409 00:14:03,630 --> 00:14:06,480 I was wrong to choose Alan over a lovely five-week friendship. 410 00:14:06,580 --> 00:14:08,346 I just didn't know you cared so much. 411 00:14:08,446 --> 00:14:11,352 - You two-faced, small-time floozy! 412 00:14:11,452 --> 00:14:12,640 You harlot! 413 00:14:12,740 --> 00:14:15,328 You stole the man that was rightfully mine! 414 00:14:15,428 --> 00:14:16,784 Alan! 415 00:14:16,884 --> 00:14:17,617 - Now. 416 00:14:17,717 --> 00:14:19,913 Have you seen Freddie Flintoff? - No, is it good? 417 00:14:20,013 --> 00:14:20,984 Who's in it? 418 00:14:21,084 --> 00:14:22,614 - It's not a film, Margaret, he's a person. 419 00:14:22,614 --> 00:14:23,522 He's disappeared. 420 00:14:23,622 --> 00:14:25,818 - She's probably lured him into her love den. 421 00:14:25,918 --> 00:14:26,882 The vixen! 422 00:14:26,982 --> 00:14:28,581 - He wouldn't fit into our den. 423 00:14:28,681 --> 00:14:31,568 - Shame on you, Margaret, shame! 424 00:14:31,668 --> 00:14:33,136 - Look, whatever's going on can 425 00:14:33,236 --> 00:14:35,357 you please just find a way to sort it out? 426 00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:36,720 - Oh, you're right Gavin. 427 00:14:36,820 --> 00:14:38,941 There's only one thing I can do. 428 00:14:39,041 --> 00:14:41,291 I've got to give Alan back. 429 00:14:42,196 --> 00:14:43,652 - [Colin] First time, tenner, I'll do it. 430 00:14:43,652 --> 00:14:44,641 - Yeah? Tenner? - Yep. Yeah. 431 00:14:44,641 --> 00:14:46,207 Give me some pork. Let's go, yeah. 432 00:14:46,307 --> 00:14:47,474 Oh, what! - Ah! 433 00:14:48,990 --> 00:14:50,085 - Now that, and again. 434 00:14:50,185 --> 00:14:51,018 Like that. 435 00:14:52,668 --> 00:14:53,800 - [Colin] Oh and again. 436 00:14:53,900 --> 00:14:55,466 One more. One more. One more. 437 00:14:55,566 --> 00:14:56,320 Right, come on. 438 00:14:56,420 --> 00:14:57,253 - Here. 439 00:14:58,253 --> 00:14:59,818 (laughing) 440 00:14:59,918 --> 00:15:01,154 - Colin? 441 00:15:01,254 --> 00:15:01,987 Colin? 442 00:15:02,087 --> 00:15:02,820 - Hello? 443 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:04,085 Is it me you're looking for? 444 00:15:04,185 --> 00:15:05,093 - How are you feeling? 445 00:15:05,193 --> 00:15:06,696 - Uh not great, Bri, not good. 446 00:15:06,796 --> 00:15:09,010 It's actually getting worse if anything, it's just. 447 00:15:09,110 --> 00:15:10,597 - I'm not surprised. 448 00:15:10,697 --> 00:15:14,013 You see, I've just checked the ingredients and the truth is I've made 449 00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:16,514 a terrible, terrible mistake. 450 00:15:16,614 --> 00:15:17,466 - You what? 451 00:15:17,566 --> 00:15:20,024 - I added 20cc's of Benzedrine sulphate 452 00:15:20,124 --> 00:15:22,730 instead of Benzedrine phosphate. You need to go to hospital. 453 00:15:22,830 --> 00:15:23,608 - No, no. 454 00:15:23,708 --> 00:15:25,437 I feel fine Brian. - Apart from the blindness? 455 00:15:25,437 --> 00:15:27,714 - Oh no, it's actually wearing off a bit. Whoa, look at that! 456 00:15:27,814 --> 00:15:28,592 I can see you. 457 00:15:28,692 --> 00:15:30,720 - That's the worst thing that you could've said! 458 00:15:30,820 --> 00:15:33,426 Sharp sightedness is the first symptom of blood poisoning. 459 00:15:33,526 --> 00:15:35,218 How do your arms feel? - Normal. 460 00:15:35,318 --> 00:15:37,104 - That's stage two! 461 00:15:37,204 --> 00:15:38,522 You need to go to A & E now, 462 00:15:38,622 --> 00:15:39,530 and I mean now. 463 00:15:39,630 --> 00:15:42,349 You've got about 30 minutes before your organs fail. 464 00:15:42,449 --> 00:15:43,805 - Are you serious? 465 00:15:43,905 --> 00:15:44,925 Oh, my God, Colin! 466 00:15:45,025 --> 00:15:46,530 - Lisa? 467 00:15:46,630 --> 00:15:49,520 If you've got anything to say to him, say it now. 468 00:15:50,494 --> 00:15:51,327 - Oh, God! 469 00:15:52,361 --> 00:15:53,990 Are you all right? - No! 470 00:15:54,090 --> 00:15:55,707 - It's going to be all right. - No, it's not. 471 00:15:55,807 --> 00:15:56,816 - It is. - No, it's not. 472 00:15:56,916 --> 00:15:57,842 - It will. 473 00:15:57,942 --> 00:15:58,675 - [Colin] It won't. 474 00:15:58,775 --> 00:16:01,128 - [Lisa] It has to be. (boxes thudding) 475 00:16:01,228 --> 00:16:02,145 - Told you. 476 00:16:06,081 --> 00:16:09,602 - The secret to being a bodyguard is to stay one step ahead of your enemy. 477 00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:12,309 - Do you reckon he could be in the store now, watching us? 478 00:16:12,409 --> 00:16:13,541 - It's possible. 479 00:16:13,641 --> 00:16:15,650 - Do you reckon he's looking at you and thinking, 480 00:16:15,750 --> 00:16:18,432 "Ooh, Kevin Costner's let himself go?" 481 00:16:18,532 --> 00:16:20,168 - Ian, have you seen Freddie Flintoff? 482 00:16:20,268 --> 00:16:21,325 Has he left this store? 483 00:16:21,425 --> 00:16:23,329 - I've not seen him for the last 10 minutes, but there was 484 00:16:23,329 --> 00:16:26,645 an unmarked period of time when he may have slipped out, yes. 485 00:16:26,745 --> 00:16:27,970 - What unmarked period? 486 00:16:28,070 --> 00:16:30,105 And where's your uniform? - I had to pop home to change. 487 00:16:30,105 --> 00:16:31,610 - You left the store unattended?! 488 00:16:31,710 --> 00:16:34,485 - He assessed the risks and found it absolutely essential 489 00:16:34,585 --> 00:16:36,296 to acquire the appropriate attire. 490 00:16:36,396 --> 00:16:37,210 - See? 491 00:16:37,310 --> 00:16:38,480 - This is a disaster. 492 00:16:38,580 --> 00:16:39,973 - Don't worry, 493 00:16:40,073 --> 00:16:43,490 no-one is going to mess with this, Gavin. 494 00:16:48,720 --> 00:16:49,553 - Hey. 495 00:16:51,217 --> 00:16:52,722 Been looking everywhere for you. 496 00:16:52,822 --> 00:16:54,589 Um, I think maybe there might 497 00:16:54,689 --> 00:16:56,773 have been a bit of a misunderstanding. 498 00:16:56,873 --> 00:16:59,405 - I know when I'm being insulted. 499 00:16:59,505 --> 00:17:00,301 - Sorry. 500 00:17:00,401 --> 00:17:02,224 - All people see is this tall, 501 00:17:02,324 --> 00:17:06,349 good-looking, charismatic guy with a world-class batting average. 502 00:17:06,449 --> 00:17:07,842 I'm sensitive. 503 00:17:07,942 --> 00:17:08,850 I write poetry. 504 00:17:08,950 --> 00:17:09,858 - Really? 505 00:17:09,958 --> 00:17:12,360 - Why does everyone look surprised when I tell them that? 506 00:17:12,460 --> 00:17:13,648 Do you want to hear one? 507 00:17:13,748 --> 00:17:14,581 - A poem? 508 00:17:14,681 --> 00:17:15,414 - Yeah. 509 00:17:15,514 --> 00:17:17,474 - I'm not sure if there's time. 510 00:17:17,574 --> 00:17:18,491 - Oh, okay. 511 00:17:21,177 --> 00:17:23,336 Pretty flowers on the wall. 512 00:17:23,436 --> 00:17:25,936 Pretty flowers, pink and tall. 513 00:17:30,006 --> 00:17:31,082 - Rose? 514 00:17:31,182 --> 00:17:32,874 I know you're not talking to me, 515 00:17:32,974 --> 00:17:34,760 but I want you to have this. 516 00:17:34,860 --> 00:17:37,728 It's an instruction manual for Alan. 517 00:17:37,828 --> 00:17:39,202 I'm returning him. 518 00:17:39,302 --> 00:17:42,338 Now there's some photographs of him in Skegness, I've listed 519 00:17:42,438 --> 00:17:44,653 all his favourite TV, and there's a 520 00:17:44,753 --> 00:17:47,602 leaflet on how to cut his toenails. 521 00:17:47,702 --> 00:17:49,581 So if you just let me pop home, 522 00:17:49,681 --> 00:17:50,888 I'll pack a suitcase 523 00:17:50,988 --> 00:17:52,960 and I'll be out of your hair by tea-time. 524 00:17:53,060 --> 00:17:54,640 - Well, what will Alan say? 525 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,253 - Oh, he probably won't notice for a few days. 526 00:17:57,353 --> 00:17:59,904 We can ease him into it. 527 00:18:00,004 --> 00:18:02,351 - Is this him in this photo? 528 00:18:02,451 --> 00:18:04,368 Blimey! He's ballooned! 529 00:18:05,473 --> 00:18:08,285 And his face looks like a piece of salami. 530 00:18:08,385 --> 00:18:10,917 No, it's all right, you can keep him. 531 00:18:11,017 --> 00:18:12,112 - Really? 532 00:18:12,212 --> 00:18:13,978 Well, you wouldn't like 533 00:18:14,078 --> 00:18:15,640 to have him at weekends, maybe? 534 00:18:15,740 --> 00:18:16,517 - No! 535 00:18:16,617 --> 00:18:18,925 I wouldn't touch him with a barge pole, not now. 536 00:18:19,025 --> 00:18:21,426 - Oh, oh, I'm so glad. 537 00:18:21,526 --> 00:18:23,526 Oh, that's settled then. 538 00:18:24,382 --> 00:18:26,465 (laughs) 539 00:18:27,761 --> 00:18:30,517 - Children play in fields of birds 540 00:18:30,617 --> 00:18:33,700 And sing a song with dead good words. 541 00:18:34,612 --> 00:18:35,945 Did you like it? 542 00:18:37,001 --> 00:18:37,734 - Huh? 543 00:18:37,834 --> 00:18:38,861 Yeah, very much. 544 00:18:38,961 --> 00:18:40,112 - Thanks, man. 545 00:18:40,212 --> 00:18:42,912 - You know, sometimes I think about putting 546 00:18:43,012 --> 00:18:44,498 my own words and thoughts. 547 00:18:44,598 --> 00:18:45,693 - Whatever, mate. 548 00:18:45,793 --> 00:18:48,460 Come on, let's launch this baby. 549 00:18:49,377 --> 00:18:52,656 - Ladies and gentlemen. Thank you for joining us today 550 00:18:52,756 --> 00:18:56,426 to launch the Freddie Flintoff Party Platter. 551 00:18:56,526 --> 00:18:58,685 Now, due to unforeseeable 552 00:18:58,785 --> 00:19:00,664 circumstances I'm afraid that 553 00:19:00,764 --> 00:19:03,464 Freddie is unable to join us today. 554 00:19:03,564 --> 00:19:04,647 - [Crowd] Oh! 555 00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:08,254 - If you-- 556 00:19:08,354 --> 00:19:09,642 - Here's Freddie! 557 00:19:09,742 --> 00:19:11,789 (crowd cheering and applauding) 558 00:19:11,889 --> 00:19:14,556 - Who wants to see some cricket? 559 00:19:16,519 --> 00:19:18,360 - Let's see what you're made of. 560 00:19:18,460 --> 00:19:20,424 - Just go nice and easy there, Freddie. 561 00:19:20,524 --> 00:19:21,298 - Yeah. 562 00:19:21,398 --> 00:19:23,481 - [Man] Come on, Freddie! 563 00:19:25,286 --> 00:19:27,818 - Hey, we not got time to put them on. 564 00:19:27,918 --> 00:19:29,330 - Can I put my helmet on? 565 00:19:29,430 --> 00:19:32,186 - Yeah I think you should. 566 00:19:32,286 --> 00:19:34,085 - [Crowd] Freddie, Freddie, 567 00:19:34,185 --> 00:19:36,352 Freddie, Freddie, Freddie, 568 00:19:37,284 --> 00:19:40,077 Freddie, Freddie, Freddie, 569 00:19:40,177 --> 00:19:41,344 Freddie, oooh! 570 00:19:46,150 --> 00:19:48,122 (bat cracks) 571 00:19:48,222 --> 00:19:49,024 - I'm ready! 572 00:19:49,124 --> 00:19:50,064 (ball thuds) 573 00:19:50,164 --> 00:19:52,664 (crowd gasps) 574 00:19:54,065 --> 00:19:55,514 - Let me through, let me through. 575 00:19:55,614 --> 00:19:57,250 I'm a qualified pharmacist. 576 00:19:57,350 --> 00:20:00,933 (camera shutters clicking) 577 00:20:02,876 --> 00:20:05,543 I pronounce this man to be dead. 578 00:20:07,057 --> 00:20:10,130 (crowd gasping) 579 00:20:10,230 --> 00:20:13,230 Note the time of death at 13:02 p.m. 580 00:20:16,932 --> 00:20:18,138 - Hang on a minute. 581 00:20:18,238 --> 00:20:20,378 He's still breathing, his chest just moved. 582 00:20:20,478 --> 00:20:22,978 (crowd gasps) 583 00:20:24,436 --> 00:20:28,125 - I pronounce this man knocked unconscious 584 00:20:28,225 --> 00:20:29,973 by a cricket ball. 585 00:20:30,073 --> 00:20:32,269 All right, semi-unconscious. 586 00:20:32,369 --> 00:20:34,733 (crowd cheering) 587 00:20:34,833 --> 00:20:35,666 - Yai! 588 00:20:37,602 --> 00:20:40,296 - Head office has been on the phone. 589 00:20:40,396 --> 00:20:42,610 The story is all over the news. 590 00:20:42,710 --> 00:20:43,543 - Oh, God. 591 00:20:44,633 --> 00:20:46,362 - Valco, serves you right! 592 00:20:46,462 --> 00:20:49,498 As Freddie Flintoff found out today, in a game of cricket 593 00:20:49,598 --> 00:20:51,813 aimed to promote his party platter range. 594 00:20:51,913 --> 00:20:55,266 Flintoff has faced some of the biggest hitters in the world, but 595 00:20:55,366 --> 00:20:57,096 he couldn't handle Gavin Strong, 596 00:20:57,196 --> 00:20:58,976 manager of Valco, Warrington. 597 00:20:59,076 --> 00:21:01,589 Strong didn't flinch from Freddie's pace 598 00:21:01,689 --> 00:21:03,385 and returned the ball straight at the former 599 00:21:03,385 --> 00:21:05,338 England cricket star's forehead 600 00:21:05,438 --> 00:21:07,858 knocking him temporarily unconscious. 601 00:21:07,958 --> 00:21:09,624 - They're thrilled! They say money can't buy the kind 602 00:21:09,624 --> 00:21:11,957 of publicity you gave Valco! 603 00:21:13,016 --> 00:21:14,298 - Right. 604 00:21:14,398 --> 00:21:16,800 What am I doing today? 605 00:21:16,900 --> 00:21:18,106 - Ah, well, it's actually time 606 00:21:18,206 --> 00:21:20,552 for you to clock off, Charlotte. 607 00:21:20,652 --> 00:21:22,978 Maybe you two could pick up again in the morning? 608 00:21:23,078 --> 00:21:24,042 - Right you are. 609 00:21:24,142 --> 00:21:26,730 Although I am off to Madrid tonight, but don't worry, 610 00:21:26,830 --> 00:21:30,333 I'll take my uniform and change on the plane. 611 00:21:30,433 --> 00:21:31,516 I'm learning! 612 00:21:34,913 --> 00:21:36,978 (laughing) 613 00:21:37,078 --> 00:21:38,061 - Oh, don't make me laugh! 614 00:21:38,161 --> 00:21:40,411 I'll have to go to the loo! 615 00:21:47,886 --> 00:21:48,664 - Decoy secured. 616 00:21:48,764 --> 00:21:49,847 Back to base. 617 00:21:53,374 --> 00:21:56,541 (upbeat happy music)