1 00:00:02,087 --> 00:00:02,820 (laughing) 2 00:00:02,920 --> 00:00:04,486 - Can she just stop that now? (grunts) 3 00:00:04,586 --> 00:00:06,371 - Oh, he keeps on moving it. (grunts) 4 00:00:06,471 --> 00:00:08,228 - From booze to biscuits. 5 00:00:08,328 --> 00:00:09,272 - Red dot deals. 6 00:00:09,372 --> 00:00:10,508 - Loads of two for ones. 7 00:00:10,608 --> 00:00:11,851 - Don't forget the Valco tick. 8 00:00:11,951 --> 00:00:14,221 - Everyone always gets it wrong, it's definitely that way. 9 00:00:14,221 --> 00:00:15,145 - Tick. 10 00:00:15,245 --> 00:00:15,978 - Tick. 11 00:00:16,078 --> 00:00:18,022 - And I'm not doing that tick thing either. 12 00:00:18,122 --> 00:00:19,590 - Am I getting paid for this? 13 00:00:19,690 --> 00:00:20,423 (laughs) 14 00:00:20,523 --> 00:00:21,371 - Serves you right. 15 00:00:21,471 --> 00:00:24,054 - [All] Valco serves you right. 16 00:00:28,251 --> 00:00:30,418 (beeping) 17 00:00:33,013 --> 00:00:35,005 - As soon as the shift's over we are out of here, right? 18 00:00:35,005 --> 00:00:35,738 - Right. 19 00:00:35,838 --> 00:00:37,428 I've got me dancing shoes on, check. 20 00:00:37,528 --> 00:00:38,996 Drinking pants, right. 21 00:00:39,096 --> 00:00:39,829 - Oh. 22 00:00:39,929 --> 00:00:41,507 - Nothing can stand in our way. - I know. 23 00:00:41,607 --> 00:00:44,107 - There's my Coli-wubbles! 24 00:00:44,207 --> 00:00:46,437 Look at you, you poor thing. 25 00:00:46,537 --> 00:00:47,776 That hair needs cutting. 26 00:00:47,876 --> 00:00:49,181 - No, I like it. 27 00:00:49,281 --> 00:00:50,817 I think it looks like Russel Crowe. 28 00:00:50,917 --> 00:00:52,761 - Don't be such an idiot. 29 00:00:52,861 --> 00:00:55,191 Come over tonight and I'll cut it for you. 30 00:00:55,291 --> 00:00:57,426 - I can't come over tonight, I'm going out with Lis tonight. 31 00:00:57,426 --> 00:00:58,159 - Yeah. 32 00:00:58,259 --> 00:00:59,152 - Oh. 33 00:00:59,252 --> 00:00:59,985 Fine. 34 00:01:00,085 --> 00:01:03,079 - So I'll be standing in for Gavin while he's on holiday. 35 00:01:03,179 --> 00:01:04,665 Pretty big shoes to fill. 36 00:01:04,765 --> 00:01:06,582 Not that I'm saying he's a clown or anything. 37 00:01:06,682 --> 00:01:07,666 (chuckles) 38 00:01:07,766 --> 00:01:09,698 Oh, that's terrible. 39 00:01:09,798 --> 00:01:10,965 - Knock knock. 40 00:01:12,571 --> 00:01:14,186 I'll be your sound effects lady for the day. 41 00:01:14,186 --> 00:01:15,106 (chuckles) 42 00:01:15,206 --> 00:01:19,013 Can you imagine if we actually did that. Glump, glump, glump, glump, glump. 43 00:01:19,113 --> 00:01:20,618 (creaking) 44 00:01:20,718 --> 00:01:22,396 glump, glump, glump. 45 00:01:22,496 --> 00:01:24,062 (blows raspberry) oh! 46 00:01:24,162 --> 00:01:25,087 (laughs) 47 00:01:25,187 --> 00:01:26,841 - Did you want something, Charlie? 48 00:01:26,941 --> 00:01:27,848 - Oh, yes. 49 00:01:27,948 --> 00:01:29,934 I just came in to tell you that I'm not late. 50 00:01:30,034 --> 00:01:31,201 Yay, progress. 51 00:01:32,422 --> 00:01:33,255 - Technically, you're supposed to 52 00:01:33,255 --> 00:01:35,756 start out there at seven and you're out here chatting, 53 00:01:35,856 --> 00:01:37,867 so you're gonna be at least 5 or 10 minutes late, 54 00:01:37,967 --> 00:01:40,742 and now we're gonna have to dock your pay. - What, I get paid to be here? 55 00:01:40,842 --> 00:01:41,788 - Yeah. 56 00:01:41,888 --> 00:01:43,156 - Awesome, how much do I get? 57 00:01:43,256 --> 00:01:44,428 - 6.50 an hour. 58 00:01:44,528 --> 00:01:47,655 - So 6.50 an hour by six, uh... 59 00:01:47,755 --> 00:01:48,644 - 39 pounds. 60 00:01:48,744 --> 00:01:49,744 - 39 pounds? 61 00:01:50,586 --> 00:01:54,153 That'll totally buy me a bottle of wine with my friends tonight. 62 00:01:54,253 --> 00:01:57,043 - As I was saying to your ex Donna only last night, 63 00:01:57,143 --> 00:01:59,151 I had my time with you. 64 00:01:59,251 --> 00:02:01,137 When I took you in as a toddler 65 00:02:01,237 --> 00:02:03,796 I brought you up as if you were one of my own. 66 00:02:03,896 --> 00:02:05,152 - I am one of your own. 67 00:02:05,252 --> 00:02:06,422 - Hang on, who's Donna? 68 00:02:06,522 --> 00:02:07,255 - No one. 69 00:02:07,355 --> 00:02:09,739 - His soulmate, that's what he used to call her. 70 00:02:09,839 --> 00:02:11,004 - Nana, no. 71 00:02:11,104 --> 00:02:12,971 Lis, it was a long time ago. 72 00:02:13,071 --> 00:02:14,371 Hang on. 73 00:02:14,471 --> 00:02:17,783 How come you saw here, anyway? - I bumped into her at my house. 74 00:02:17,883 --> 00:02:19,579 She's staying for the week, actually, 75 00:02:19,679 --> 00:02:21,276 and she can't wait to see you. 76 00:02:21,376 --> 00:02:22,847 So we should smarten you up. 77 00:02:22,947 --> 00:02:25,841 You wanna make a good impression. - You are unbelievable, you know that? 78 00:02:25,841 --> 00:02:26,956 - [Colin] Lisa, no, no, no, no, no, leave it. 79 00:02:26,956 --> 00:02:29,602 - You and Donna were perfect together. And if her family hadn't moved away 80 00:02:29,602 --> 00:02:32,216 I'd have some very beautiful great-grandchildren by now. 81 00:02:32,316 --> 00:02:34,141 That's all your fault. 82 00:02:34,241 --> 00:02:35,377 You took them from me. 83 00:02:35,477 --> 00:02:36,727 Child snatcher! 84 00:02:37,805 --> 00:02:39,703 - Charlie, I'm really busy this week 85 00:02:39,803 --> 00:02:43,068 with Gavin away and stuff, so if you don't mind. 86 00:02:43,168 --> 00:02:44,074 - Oh God no, I don't mind. 87 00:02:44,174 --> 00:02:45,493 I am happy to help. 88 00:02:45,593 --> 00:02:46,326 (gasps) 89 00:02:46,426 --> 00:02:49,607 I could be your PA. - Oh, no, no, I don't need a PA. 90 00:02:49,707 --> 00:02:51,425 - But look, look. 91 00:02:51,525 --> 00:02:52,858 Paper collected. 92 00:02:54,654 --> 00:02:55,487 Delivered. 93 00:02:56,352 --> 00:03:00,298 How useful am I already? - I'm not gonna answer that. 94 00:03:00,398 --> 00:03:01,981 God, no, not today. 95 00:03:03,336 --> 00:03:04,800 (chattering) 96 00:03:04,900 --> 00:03:06,659 Alright you lot, listen up. 97 00:03:06,759 --> 00:03:08,592 As you may be aware... 98 00:03:09,601 --> 00:03:11,938 as you may be aware... 99 00:03:12,038 --> 00:03:12,963 - Lads! 100 00:03:13,063 --> 00:03:14,027 - Oh, gosh. 101 00:03:14,127 --> 00:03:17,004 That'll be the old eardrum gone then. - Could you please be quiet. 102 00:03:17,104 --> 00:03:20,578 Daniel's about to make a speech and he's really nervous about it. 103 00:03:20,678 --> 00:03:22,541 So just give him a break, okay? 104 00:03:22,641 --> 00:03:24,231 Go on Daniel. 105 00:03:24,331 --> 00:03:25,587 - Thank you, Charlie. 106 00:03:25,687 --> 00:03:27,904 Anyway, I'm standing in for Gavin 107 00:03:28,004 --> 00:03:30,420 who's away on holiday this week. 108 00:03:30,520 --> 00:03:31,624 Pretty big shoes to fill. 109 00:03:31,624 --> 00:03:33,355 (chuckles) (claps) 110 00:03:33,455 --> 00:03:36,253 But I want you to know it's business as usual at Valco, 111 00:03:36,353 --> 00:03:39,181 so let's get out there and prove to Gavin that we can do it. 112 00:03:39,281 --> 00:03:40,474 (laughs) 113 00:03:40,574 --> 00:03:41,560 That wasn't a joke. 114 00:03:41,660 --> 00:03:42,941 - Fair enough. 115 00:03:43,041 --> 00:03:45,769 - On another note, the last one, 116 00:03:45,869 --> 00:03:49,040 as of today, the staff canteen is no longer free. 117 00:03:49,140 --> 00:03:49,873 (grumbling) 118 00:03:49,973 --> 00:03:50,706 - You what? 119 00:03:50,806 --> 00:03:51,825 - Oh, dear. 120 00:03:51,925 --> 00:03:55,605 - I got a fax through from head office. - No, no, no, that's out of order, mate. 121 00:03:55,705 --> 00:03:57,441 - It is still subsidised, so it won't cost much. 122 00:03:57,441 --> 00:04:00,168 - Oh, yeah, maybe not for you up there in management, 123 00:04:00,268 --> 00:04:03,146 but for us down here on our wages. 124 00:04:03,246 --> 00:04:05,833 - Charlie, you're a multi-millionaire. 125 00:04:05,933 --> 00:04:07,184 - Yeah, but head office don't know that, do they? 126 00:04:07,184 --> 00:04:08,112 - I think they do. 127 00:04:08,212 --> 00:04:09,723 - Right, okay then. 128 00:04:09,823 --> 00:04:11,586 Well maybe we should all just take it on the chin 129 00:04:11,586 --> 00:04:12,626 and get back to work. 130 00:04:12,726 --> 00:04:14,576 So please, come on, off you go. 131 00:04:14,676 --> 00:04:16,987 - Well I'm not taking it on the chin, what is she talking... 132 00:04:17,087 --> 00:04:18,491 - No, come on now, back off. 133 00:04:18,591 --> 00:04:19,774 Back off. 134 00:04:19,874 --> 00:04:21,469 That was brilliant. 135 00:04:21,569 --> 00:04:23,421 So what are we gonna do now? 136 00:04:23,521 --> 00:04:26,213 - This could go badly, very badly indeed. 137 00:04:26,313 --> 00:04:28,436 You restrict a man's access to food, 138 00:04:28,536 --> 00:04:31,238 you unleash something primal. 139 00:04:31,338 --> 00:04:32,190 - Shut up. 140 00:04:32,290 --> 00:04:33,139 - What? 141 00:04:33,239 --> 00:04:34,090 - Hi. 142 00:04:34,190 --> 00:04:35,560 - Hi. 143 00:04:35,660 --> 00:04:36,735 - Leona, right? 144 00:04:36,835 --> 00:04:38,966 You're in my English class at college. 145 00:04:39,066 --> 00:04:41,207 Not that I'm a stalker or anything, 146 00:04:41,307 --> 00:04:43,612 it's just, you know, would be weird 147 00:04:43,712 --> 00:04:47,241 following you around all day. Not 'cause you're boring, just 'cause, 148 00:04:47,341 --> 00:04:48,435 I'll stop talking now. 149 00:04:48,535 --> 00:04:49,785 - Okay, thanks. 150 00:04:52,430 --> 00:04:53,263 - See ya. 151 00:04:55,201 --> 00:04:57,682 - Oh, dear, oh, dear, oh dear. 152 00:04:57,782 --> 00:04:58,638 - What? 153 00:04:58,738 --> 00:05:01,499 - Somebody needs help in the art of wooing a lady. 154 00:05:01,599 --> 00:05:03,500 - From a homosexual middle aged man? 155 00:05:03,600 --> 00:05:04,948 No, you alright. 156 00:05:05,048 --> 00:05:06,125 - Your loss. 157 00:05:06,225 --> 00:05:08,016 Although, I could've had you fully trained up 158 00:05:08,016 --> 00:05:09,909 by the time she came back. 159 00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:11,488 - Why will she come back? 160 00:05:11,588 --> 00:05:12,905 - Because Leona, 161 00:05:13,005 --> 00:05:14,307 (kisses) 162 00:05:14,407 --> 00:05:16,789 has left her mobile phone. 163 00:05:16,889 --> 00:05:18,232 Interested now, aren't you? 164 00:05:18,332 --> 00:05:19,165 Eh, eh? 165 00:05:20,281 --> 00:05:21,364 Calling home. 166 00:05:22,980 --> 00:05:25,857 Hello, security department here at Warrington Valco, 167 00:05:25,957 --> 00:05:27,891 you've left your mobile phone. 168 00:05:27,991 --> 00:05:28,860 It's in safe hands. 169 00:05:28,960 --> 00:05:32,043 Just ask for Harry when you get here. 170 00:05:33,090 --> 00:05:35,247 And that, my young apprentice, 171 00:05:35,347 --> 00:05:39,339 is lesson one, how to snare your lady prey. 172 00:05:39,439 --> 00:05:40,646 - You haven't ended the call. 173 00:05:40,746 --> 00:05:42,850 - Oh, bugger, sorry! 174 00:05:42,950 --> 00:05:44,111 - Oh. 175 00:05:44,211 --> 00:05:46,350 - Now I've taken a photograph of myself. - Oh! 176 00:05:46,450 --> 00:05:48,533 (laughs) 177 00:05:52,290 --> 00:05:53,190 - [Daniel] Colin? 178 00:05:53,290 --> 00:05:54,023 - What? 179 00:05:54,123 --> 00:05:56,715 - I hope you've got a receipt for those. - Oh, nah, nah, nah, nah, nah, no. 180 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:59,740 Don't ball me out for this, I'm starving here. 181 00:05:59,840 --> 00:06:01,788 And if you hadn't sacked out free food, 182 00:06:01,888 --> 00:06:04,167 I wouldn't be forced into a life of crime. 183 00:06:04,267 --> 00:06:06,013 - Hey, that was not his fault. 184 00:06:06,113 --> 00:06:08,715 He is nowhere near senior enough to make those sort of decisions. 185 00:06:08,715 --> 00:06:11,090 And he probably never will be. - Thank you, Charlie. 186 00:06:11,190 --> 00:06:13,063 - I've got your back Daniel. - Fine. 187 00:06:13,163 --> 00:06:15,353 But on your heads be it, alright. 188 00:06:15,453 --> 00:06:18,846 If I pass out from malnutrition from lifting these... 189 00:06:18,946 --> 00:06:19,974 - Rice cakes? 190 00:06:20,074 --> 00:06:21,570 - Rice cakes, mate, alright. 191 00:06:21,670 --> 00:06:23,587 Heavier than they look. 192 00:06:30,889 --> 00:06:32,344 (sniffs) 193 00:06:32,444 --> 00:06:34,704 - You alright Neville? - Yes, yes. 194 00:06:34,804 --> 00:06:35,691 All good. 195 00:06:35,791 --> 00:06:39,596 Only, the whole canteen thing did come as a bit of a blow. 196 00:06:39,696 --> 00:06:42,096 Yes, most of my money goes on child maintenance, you see. 197 00:06:42,196 --> 00:06:43,451 - Oh, how old are your kids? 198 00:06:43,551 --> 00:06:44,842 - 24 and 19. 199 00:06:44,942 --> 00:06:47,311 Yes, they take a lot of maintaining. 200 00:06:47,411 --> 00:06:48,622 Or so I'm told. 201 00:06:48,722 --> 00:06:51,272 - Sorry mate, I could lend you a fiver if you need it. 202 00:06:51,372 --> 00:06:53,684 - No, no, no, it's fine. 203 00:06:53,784 --> 00:06:55,247 I'm sure going to miss them meals. 204 00:06:55,347 --> 00:06:57,095 Yes, bye-bye breakfast 205 00:06:57,195 --> 00:06:58,326 and lunch, 206 00:06:58,426 --> 00:06:59,778 and often dinner, too. 207 00:06:59,878 --> 00:07:01,864 All of my meals, in fact. 208 00:07:01,964 --> 00:07:03,814 Yes, all of them. 209 00:07:03,914 --> 00:07:06,380 Still, at least I get to be around food, 210 00:07:06,480 --> 00:07:07,657 even if I can't eat it. 211 00:07:07,757 --> 00:07:09,603 (chuckles) 212 00:07:09,703 --> 00:07:11,113 - That's the spirit. 213 00:07:11,213 --> 00:07:12,046 I think. 214 00:07:14,765 --> 00:07:17,730 - The thing you notice about Donna first, I think, 215 00:07:17,830 --> 00:07:19,672 is her lovely perfume. 216 00:07:19,772 --> 00:07:22,551 It's like a garden full of roses. 217 00:07:22,651 --> 00:07:24,616 I asked her last night what she wears, 218 00:07:24,716 --> 00:07:26,177 and do you know what she said? 219 00:07:26,277 --> 00:07:28,559 - I don't know, I don't care, so why don't you-- 220 00:07:28,659 --> 00:07:31,250 - She said, I don't wear any perfume, 221 00:07:31,350 --> 00:07:33,695 she's just naturally fragrant. 222 00:07:33,795 --> 00:07:36,538 And clever, and pretty, and fertile. 223 00:07:36,638 --> 00:07:38,034 - You alright, sweet cheeks? 224 00:07:38,134 --> 00:07:39,680 - Oh, hello. 225 00:07:39,780 --> 00:07:42,276 Thank you, my lovely boy. 226 00:07:42,376 --> 00:07:45,051 - No, your Nana was just telling me how your ex really smells. 227 00:07:45,151 --> 00:07:45,884 - What? 228 00:07:45,984 --> 00:07:46,954 (laughs) 229 00:07:47,054 --> 00:07:51,661 - Well you'll find out for yourself. She's coming here to fetch me after work. 230 00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:54,157 - She's coming here to Valco? 231 00:07:54,257 --> 00:07:56,606 - Not that you're bothered. - No, no, no, no, no, not bothered, 232 00:07:56,706 --> 00:07:58,715 but she's coming here to Valco today? 233 00:07:58,815 --> 00:08:00,280 - Well don't look so worried. 234 00:08:00,380 --> 00:08:02,347 We'll soon have you smartened up. 235 00:08:02,447 --> 00:08:03,269 (chuckles) 236 00:08:03,369 --> 00:08:04,622 Oh, lift your arms. 237 00:08:04,722 --> 00:08:05,455 - What? 238 00:08:05,555 --> 00:08:07,248 (aerosol can sprays) - Oh, Nana, stop it, come on. 239 00:08:07,248 --> 00:08:07,981 - Thank you. 240 00:08:08,081 --> 00:08:09,300 - It's alright. 241 00:08:09,400 --> 00:08:10,376 Do it myself. 242 00:08:10,476 --> 00:08:13,176 (aerosol can sprays) 243 00:08:13,276 --> 00:08:14,082 - Oh, hello Linda. 244 00:08:14,182 --> 00:08:15,662 I didn't see you there. 245 00:08:15,762 --> 00:08:17,233 - I told you not to talk to me at work. 246 00:08:17,333 --> 00:08:18,309 - Oh, right. 247 00:08:18,409 --> 00:08:21,041 I thought you just meant not to mention what we got up to last night. 248 00:08:21,041 --> 00:08:21,865 - Neville! 249 00:08:21,965 --> 00:08:23,228 Shut up, will you! 250 00:08:23,328 --> 00:08:24,061 - Sorry, yes. 251 00:08:24,161 --> 00:08:25,387 Sorry. 252 00:08:25,487 --> 00:08:27,268 But just to be clear, 253 00:08:27,368 --> 00:08:29,366 it's all talking that's banned, is it? 254 00:08:29,466 --> 00:08:32,678 You don't think that might be even more suspicious? 255 00:08:32,778 --> 00:08:35,689 I mean, we did used to talk before we-- - Fine. 256 00:08:35,789 --> 00:08:38,175 Some talking, but don't-- - Mention last night. 257 00:08:38,275 --> 00:08:39,108 Got you. 258 00:08:40,561 --> 00:08:41,478 Or tonight? 259 00:08:43,003 --> 00:08:45,514 - I'll think about it. 260 00:08:45,614 --> 00:08:47,067 - So will I. 261 00:08:47,167 --> 00:08:49,417 (chuckles) 262 00:08:51,181 --> 00:08:53,058 - [Charlie] Wow, people are really angry 263 00:08:53,158 --> 00:08:54,902 about this whole canteen thing. 264 00:08:55,002 --> 00:08:55,935 - I just wanted to check my emails. 265 00:08:55,935 --> 00:08:58,286 For some reason nothing's coming through to my phone. 266 00:08:58,386 --> 00:09:01,730 - Oh yeah, that's 'cause I did this really clever thing. 267 00:09:01,830 --> 00:09:03,220 - What really clever thing? 268 00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:06,012 - Well I saw all these emails coming in, like ping, head office, 269 00:09:06,112 --> 00:09:07,899 ping, ping, Martin Shell. 270 00:09:07,999 --> 00:09:08,832 And I thought to myself, 271 00:09:08,832 --> 00:09:10,383 oh no, he does not have time for this today. 272 00:09:10,383 --> 00:09:11,985 I literally said that out loud to myself. 273 00:09:11,985 --> 00:09:15,478 I said, oh no, he does not have time for this today. 274 00:09:15,578 --> 00:09:16,722 - What did you do Charlie? 275 00:09:16,822 --> 00:09:19,144 - Well, I set up an automatic reply. 276 00:09:19,244 --> 00:09:20,077 See? 277 00:09:21,312 --> 00:09:22,618 - Hey guys, how are you all doing? 278 00:09:22,718 --> 00:09:25,082 I'm on the shop floor busting my onions. 279 00:09:25,182 --> 00:09:28,149 I'll get back you yous soon as. 280 00:09:28,249 --> 00:09:29,942 Lots of love, Daniel. 281 00:09:30,042 --> 00:09:31,251 Deputy Mangobbler. 282 00:09:31,351 --> 00:09:32,216 Mangobbler? 283 00:09:32,316 --> 00:09:33,149 - Oh, no! 284 00:09:34,115 --> 00:09:36,032 I put manager, I swear. 285 00:09:37,429 --> 00:09:38,416 Auto correct. 286 00:09:38,516 --> 00:09:39,794 Oh, that is so funny, I'm gonna have to 287 00:09:39,794 --> 00:09:41,523 take a picture of that and put it on Facebook. 288 00:09:41,523 --> 00:09:42,693 (camera shutter clicks) 289 00:09:42,793 --> 00:09:43,526 (chuckles) 290 00:09:43,626 --> 00:09:46,939 - What two things does every woman want from a relationship? 291 00:09:47,039 --> 00:09:48,313 - Oh, this I've got to hear. 292 00:09:48,413 --> 00:09:51,312 Go on then, don't mind me. 293 00:09:51,412 --> 00:09:53,329 - City bricks and kick? 294 00:09:54,943 --> 00:09:55,676 - Wrong. 295 00:09:55,776 --> 00:09:57,456 Security and security. 296 00:09:57,556 --> 00:10:00,925 It's in their basic biological makeup. 297 00:10:01,025 --> 00:10:03,168 Show her you're not gonna let anyone eat her kids, 298 00:10:03,268 --> 00:10:04,583 she'll be yours for life. 299 00:10:04,683 --> 00:10:06,210 - And how do I do that? 300 00:10:06,310 --> 00:10:09,123 - Electronic surveillance. 301 00:10:09,223 --> 00:10:11,011 - Because that's not all all sinister. 302 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:12,487 - Don't listen to him. 303 00:10:12,587 --> 00:10:14,896 What women want is to feel like they've got a real catch, 304 00:10:14,896 --> 00:10:16,318 someone unattainable. 305 00:10:16,418 --> 00:10:19,074 - So I've got to become unattainable by this afternoon. 306 00:10:19,174 --> 00:10:20,002 Great. 307 00:10:20,102 --> 00:10:21,338 - Don't worry, I'll fix it for you. 308 00:10:21,338 --> 00:10:22,775 Just give me a nod when she comes in, right, 309 00:10:22,775 --> 00:10:24,505 and she'll be putty in your hands. 310 00:10:24,605 --> 00:10:26,318 - Can't I just ask her out? 311 00:10:26,418 --> 00:10:28,921 (laughs) 312 00:10:29,021 --> 00:10:29,838 - So naive. 313 00:10:29,938 --> 00:10:30,938 - Bless him. 314 00:10:39,418 --> 00:10:41,096 - Why you got your shirt tucked in like that? 315 00:10:41,096 --> 00:10:42,809 (mumbles) 316 00:10:42,909 --> 00:10:44,203 - Yeah, it must've just hitched up when I went for a dump. 317 00:10:44,203 --> 00:10:45,494 It'll be fine. 318 00:10:45,594 --> 00:10:47,274 - So I was thinking about tonight, right, 319 00:10:47,374 --> 00:10:50,152 and Nando's get dead busy at times, 320 00:10:50,252 --> 00:10:52,921 so we should try and sneak off a little bit earlier. 321 00:10:53,021 --> 00:10:55,010 - No, no, that's gonna be tricky. 322 00:10:55,110 --> 00:10:57,705 It is gonna be tricky, 'cause I've got loads on. 323 00:10:57,805 --> 00:10:59,138 - Loads of what? 324 00:11:00,099 --> 00:11:00,832 - Work. 325 00:11:00,932 --> 00:11:02,750 Yeah, I'm gonna stay to the end of the shift 326 00:11:02,750 --> 00:11:05,257 because, you know, they pay us to be here. - Who are you? 327 00:11:05,357 --> 00:11:07,317 You just wanna stay and see your ex. 328 00:11:07,417 --> 00:11:08,953 (gasps) 329 00:11:09,053 --> 00:11:10,000 - Yeah alright, I do. 330 00:11:10,100 --> 00:11:11,971 But Lisa, literally, it's just out of curiosity. 331 00:11:11,971 --> 00:11:13,275 That's all, seriously. 332 00:11:13,375 --> 00:11:15,235 - You know what they say about curiosity, don't you? 333 00:11:15,235 --> 00:11:15,968 - Yeah. 334 00:11:16,068 --> 00:11:18,448 Strangled the cat. - No. 335 00:11:18,548 --> 00:11:21,340 It stops you from getting any for a month. 336 00:11:21,440 --> 00:11:22,580 (grunts) 337 00:11:22,680 --> 00:11:24,189 - Lisa. 338 00:11:24,289 --> 00:11:26,307 (beeping) 339 00:11:26,407 --> 00:11:28,704 - Say what you like about Gavin, and you know I do, 340 00:11:28,804 --> 00:11:32,187 but he would never stand for this. - This isn't Daniel's fault, Sue. 341 00:11:32,287 --> 00:11:33,242 He's doing his best. 342 00:11:33,342 --> 00:11:35,227 - Well it looks like to me he's doing a sweet F.A. 343 00:11:35,327 --> 00:11:37,262 - Well, that's where you're wrong, actually, 344 00:11:37,362 --> 00:11:40,091 because Daniel is on the phone right now 345 00:11:40,191 --> 00:11:42,360 telling head office to reverse their decision. 346 00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:43,367 - Oh, great. 347 00:11:43,467 --> 00:11:45,807 Well meanwhile, we starve, cheers Daniel. 348 00:11:45,907 --> 00:11:47,490 - And there's more. 349 00:11:48,515 --> 00:11:51,805 Because Daniel just told me to take you our for lunch. 350 00:11:51,905 --> 00:11:52,814 - Really? 351 00:11:52,914 --> 00:11:53,806 - Yes. 352 00:11:53,906 --> 00:11:54,813 His idea, just now. 353 00:11:54,913 --> 00:11:55,883 - Amazing. 354 00:11:55,983 --> 00:11:59,711 Spread the word, Charlie's taking us all out to lunch. 355 00:11:59,811 --> 00:12:00,544 - Come on. 356 00:12:00,644 --> 00:12:03,026 - Is everybody coming? That's great, yeah. 357 00:12:03,126 --> 00:12:03,959 Yay. 358 00:12:17,241 --> 00:12:18,646 - Could a member of staff please report 359 00:12:18,646 --> 00:12:23,079 to the customer service desk, that is any member of staff, 360 00:12:23,179 --> 00:12:25,689 please report to the customer service desk. 361 00:12:25,789 --> 00:12:26,622 Right now. 362 00:12:27,643 --> 00:12:28,725 - Alright Daniel? 363 00:12:28,825 --> 00:12:29,904 - Where are they all? 364 00:12:30,004 --> 00:12:32,782 - Shouldn't take a genius to work that out, does it? 365 00:12:32,882 --> 00:12:34,728 They've walked, mate, clearly. 366 00:12:34,828 --> 00:12:37,202 Down tills, gone on strike. 367 00:12:37,302 --> 00:12:38,209 - You're joking. 368 00:12:38,309 --> 00:12:40,205 - You took their canteen away. 369 00:12:40,305 --> 00:12:42,638 You didn't think they'd just sit and take it, did you? 370 00:12:42,738 --> 00:12:44,840 - Alright, will you help me look for them, then? 371 00:12:44,940 --> 00:12:45,673 - Oh, no. 372 00:12:45,773 --> 00:12:49,940 Don't go dragging me into your management nightmare. 373 00:12:55,687 --> 00:12:56,758 - Neville, come with me. 374 00:12:56,858 --> 00:12:58,381 - I wasn't going to eat it. 375 00:12:58,481 --> 00:13:01,883 Honestly, I was just looking at it. 376 00:13:01,983 --> 00:13:02,932 - What? 377 00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:05,529 Look, we need all the hands we have on tills, 378 00:13:05,629 --> 00:13:07,457 the staff have gone on strike. 379 00:13:07,557 --> 00:13:08,469 - Have they? 380 00:13:08,569 --> 00:13:09,473 No one told me. 381 00:13:09,573 --> 00:13:12,225 Not that it matters, I wouldn't have gone with them anyway. 382 00:13:12,325 --> 00:13:14,575 (chuckles) 383 00:13:18,100 --> 00:13:20,334 - These tills over here are no longer just for baskets, 384 00:13:20,334 --> 00:13:21,955 so if you wanna come around, 385 00:13:22,055 --> 00:13:23,639 and don't forget the self service. 386 00:13:23,739 --> 00:13:26,365 - Can you tell me where the eggs are? - There's no one on the bakery. 387 00:13:26,465 --> 00:13:28,311 - Aisle four next to home baking. 388 00:13:28,411 --> 00:13:30,446 Someone will be with you in a moment, sir, 389 00:13:30,546 --> 00:13:32,433 - Oh dear, they've got you exactly 390 00:13:32,533 --> 00:13:33,592 where they want you now, eh? 391 00:13:33,592 --> 00:13:35,523 - They've been gone over an hour and a half, Ian, 392 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:37,734 I'm gonna have to call head office. Excuse me. 393 00:13:39,391 --> 00:13:41,429 Hello, can I speak to Martin Shell please? 394 00:13:41,529 --> 00:13:42,440 Yes it's urgent. 395 00:13:42,540 --> 00:13:43,373 - Daniel. 396 00:13:45,055 --> 00:13:46,222 - Martin, hey. 397 00:13:47,074 --> 00:13:49,143 It's Daniel from the Warrington branch. 398 00:13:49,243 --> 00:13:51,412 We've got a bot of a situation. 399 00:13:51,512 --> 00:13:52,317 - Daniel. 400 00:13:52,417 --> 00:13:53,500 - One second. 401 00:13:54,411 --> 00:13:56,911 The staff have gone on strike. 402 00:13:58,452 --> 00:13:59,519 - [Martin] What do you mean they're on strike? 403 00:13:59,519 --> 00:14:00,438 - Okay, Martin-- 404 00:14:00,538 --> 00:14:01,825 (yelling on phone) 405 00:14:01,925 --> 00:14:03,651 Sorry, Mr. Shell. 406 00:14:03,751 --> 00:14:05,463 Yep, right away, I'll do that now. 407 00:14:05,563 --> 00:14:06,606 (yelling on phone) 408 00:14:06,706 --> 00:14:07,924 Okay. 409 00:14:08,024 --> 00:14:08,757 Ian. 410 00:14:08,857 --> 00:14:12,357 - It seems it wasn't a walk out after all. 411 00:14:14,714 --> 00:14:16,549 - Where the hell have you been? 412 00:14:16,649 --> 00:14:17,616 - Pizza Express. 413 00:14:17,716 --> 00:14:19,493 Don't be mad, we got you a goodie bag. 414 00:14:19,593 --> 00:14:23,174 And there were dough balls because I know you like dough balls, 415 00:14:23,274 --> 00:14:25,519 but they were just too yummy, sorry. 416 00:14:25,619 --> 00:14:26,757 (laughs) 417 00:14:26,857 --> 00:14:28,498 - Have you any idea what you've done? 418 00:14:28,598 --> 00:14:30,758 - Yeah, well everyone was in a grumble about the canteen 419 00:14:30,758 --> 00:14:32,949 - And Charlie said it was your idea. 420 00:14:33,049 --> 00:14:36,858 - Everyone, back to work now, please, thank you. 421 00:14:36,958 --> 00:14:37,791 - Looks like somebody likes the dough balls. 422 00:14:37,791 --> 00:14:40,430 (laughs) 423 00:14:40,530 --> 00:14:41,263 Bye guys. 424 00:14:41,363 --> 00:14:44,008 Stay cool, stay cool, okay. 425 00:14:44,108 --> 00:14:48,674 - Okay, well can you get him to call me back please, urgently? 426 00:14:48,774 --> 00:14:49,507 What? 427 00:14:49,607 --> 00:14:50,642 - Do you miss Gavin? 428 00:14:50,742 --> 00:14:51,655 Is that the problem? 429 00:14:51,755 --> 00:14:52,658 - No, Charlie. 430 00:14:52,758 --> 00:14:53,662 The problem is you. 431 00:14:53,762 --> 00:14:56,499 You took all the staff to lunch. - And then we ate your balls? 432 00:14:56,599 --> 00:14:58,342 - Forget about the dough balls, Charlie. 433 00:14:58,442 --> 00:15:00,632 You took everyone off site without telling me. 434 00:15:00,732 --> 00:15:02,006 What was I supposed to think? 435 00:15:02,106 --> 00:15:03,283 - Why, what did you do? 436 00:15:03,383 --> 00:15:04,293 (gasps) 437 00:15:04,393 --> 00:15:06,137 Oh, my God, you did something really bad, didn't you? 438 00:15:06,137 --> 00:15:07,287 I can see from your face. 439 00:15:07,387 --> 00:15:08,393 - I called the head office, 440 00:15:08,393 --> 00:15:09,941 Martin Shell is on his way over here as we speak. 441 00:15:09,941 --> 00:15:11,771 - Oh, my God, you didn't. 442 00:15:11,871 --> 00:15:13,058 You total idiot. 443 00:15:13,158 --> 00:15:16,208 You busted yourself into head office, for real? 444 00:15:16,308 --> 00:15:18,489 - Yeah, it's not funny, Charlie. (laughs) 445 00:15:18,589 --> 00:15:20,378 - No, I'm not laughing at you, I'm laughing with you. 446 00:15:20,378 --> 00:15:23,858 - I'm not laughing at all, Charlie. 447 00:15:23,958 --> 00:15:24,791 - Daniel? 448 00:15:27,576 --> 00:15:28,409 Daniel. 449 00:15:33,225 --> 00:15:34,275 - Has anyone seen Colin? 450 00:15:34,375 --> 00:15:35,401 - No. 451 00:15:35,501 --> 00:15:36,334 - No? 452 00:15:38,326 --> 00:15:40,822 - Um hi, sorry, I think I might have left my phone here. 453 00:15:40,922 --> 00:15:42,499 - Yeah, yeah, you did. 454 00:15:42,599 --> 00:15:43,523 - Oh, thank you. 455 00:15:43,623 --> 00:15:44,768 Harry, isn't it? 456 00:15:44,868 --> 00:15:48,163 Listen, I was just wondering if you wanted to maybe meet up? 457 00:15:48,263 --> 00:15:49,183 - Hi, babe. 458 00:15:49,283 --> 00:15:50,439 What's on for tonight? 459 00:15:50,539 --> 00:15:52,706 I'm wearing your favourite. 460 00:15:55,333 --> 00:15:56,381 - Get off, will you? 461 00:15:56,481 --> 00:15:57,395 (laughs) 462 00:15:57,495 --> 00:16:01,173 - What does he like? See you under the shift, gorgeous. 463 00:16:04,022 --> 00:16:06,792 - You got her to do that, right? - Yeah, yeah, I did. 464 00:16:06,892 --> 00:16:08,236 - Tragic. 465 00:16:08,336 --> 00:16:10,419 (groans) 466 00:16:11,673 --> 00:16:13,122 - Should have gone with the electronic surveillance, 467 00:16:13,122 --> 00:16:15,039 mate, works every time. 468 00:16:21,487 --> 00:16:22,677 - Colin? 469 00:16:22,777 --> 00:16:24,027 Don't you dare! 470 00:16:25,261 --> 00:16:25,994 (laughs) 471 00:16:26,094 --> 00:16:27,467 - Try and stop me. 472 00:16:27,567 --> 00:16:28,491 - Ladies, come on. 473 00:16:28,591 --> 00:16:30,312 Let's not do anything hasty here. 474 00:16:30,412 --> 00:16:31,145 - Right. 475 00:16:31,245 --> 00:16:32,422 Give me those. 476 00:16:32,522 --> 00:16:34,264 (grunting) 477 00:16:34,364 --> 00:16:36,215 - Stop it, stop it, this is madness. 478 00:16:36,315 --> 00:16:37,231 She snot worth it. 479 00:16:37,331 --> 00:16:38,601 - Who isn't? - Who isn't? 480 00:16:38,701 --> 00:16:42,922 - Just pack it in please, (mumbles) 481 00:16:43,022 --> 00:16:45,349 - Give me the clippers. - Over my dead body. 482 00:16:45,449 --> 00:16:46,182 - Fine! 483 00:16:46,282 --> 00:16:47,015 - No! 484 00:16:47,115 --> 00:16:48,681 (clippers buzzing) Get off me! 485 00:16:48,781 --> 00:16:49,620 - Oh, come on guys. 486 00:16:49,720 --> 00:16:51,552 (grunting) 487 00:16:51,652 --> 00:16:52,902 - Just stop it. 488 00:16:54,836 --> 00:16:56,749 - Look what you've done! - Me? 489 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:57,959 It was your big ham hands. 490 00:16:58,059 --> 00:16:59,378 - Oh, this really hurts. 491 00:16:59,478 --> 00:17:01,907 - Vulgar little witch! - Get off me! 492 00:17:02,007 --> 00:17:02,740 (grunting) 493 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:04,090 - Really hurts. 494 00:17:05,438 --> 00:17:06,534 (yelling) 495 00:17:06,634 --> 00:17:08,846 - Oh, that really hurts. 496 00:17:08,946 --> 00:17:11,196 (grunting) 497 00:17:14,199 --> 00:17:17,616 - Ow, as if I'm not in enough discomfort. 498 00:17:19,245 --> 00:17:21,300 (yelling) 499 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:23,089 - You won't get away with this! 500 00:17:23,189 --> 00:17:24,113 - Hag! 501 00:17:24,213 --> 00:17:25,046 - Floozy! 502 00:17:26,024 --> 00:17:26,857 - Oh! 503 00:17:29,691 --> 00:17:31,901 (grunting) 504 00:17:32,001 --> 00:17:32,834 - Mm. 505 00:17:33,847 --> 00:17:34,680 Mm. 506 00:17:36,805 --> 00:17:38,440 (yelling) 507 00:17:38,540 --> 00:17:39,373 - Stop it! 508 00:17:42,467 --> 00:17:43,671 (coughing) 509 00:17:43,771 --> 00:17:44,683 Okay, stop it. 510 00:17:44,783 --> 00:17:45,616 - She started it! - She started it! 511 00:17:45,616 --> 00:17:46,657 - Look at you. 512 00:17:46,757 --> 00:17:47,903 What is wrong with you? 513 00:17:48,003 --> 00:17:49,343 - Who, me or her? 514 00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:50,176 - Both of you. 515 00:17:50,276 --> 00:17:52,294 - Well she's totally unhinged! - She's a total psycho! 516 00:17:52,294 --> 00:17:54,229 - I don't wanna hear it, alright. 517 00:17:54,329 --> 00:17:55,207 I've had enough of you. 518 00:17:55,207 --> 00:17:55,940 - Who? - Who? 519 00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,029 - Both of you! 520 00:17:57,129 --> 00:17:59,364 Look Colin, I can't go on like this. 521 00:17:59,464 --> 00:18:01,383 Choose, is it me or her? 522 00:18:01,483 --> 00:18:03,050 - Yeah, me or her, Colin, 523 00:18:03,150 --> 00:18:05,156 because I'm not putting up with this anymore. 524 00:18:05,256 --> 00:18:07,087 - Okay, neither. 525 00:18:07,187 --> 00:18:08,099 - What? 526 00:18:08,199 --> 00:18:09,579 - I choose neither of you. 527 00:18:09,679 --> 00:18:11,262 You're both mental! 528 00:18:13,499 --> 00:18:14,832 - Colin! - Colin! 529 00:18:18,809 --> 00:18:19,811 - Knock, knock. 530 00:18:19,911 --> 00:18:21,930 (creaking) 531 00:18:22,030 --> 00:18:23,956 That's a bit of haunted house, isn't it? Wait no. 532 00:18:23,956 --> 00:18:25,476 (hissing) 533 00:18:25,576 --> 00:18:26,677 No, that's a bit Star Trek. 534 00:18:26,777 --> 00:18:27,510 - Is it? 535 00:18:27,610 --> 00:18:29,411 - Star Trek, Star Wars? 536 00:18:29,511 --> 00:18:31,934 - Did you want something? - Just to say that I Skyped my dad 537 00:18:32,034 --> 00:18:34,055 and I told him that it wasn't totally your fault. 538 00:18:34,155 --> 00:18:36,152 - It wasn't my fault, it was your fault. 539 00:18:36,252 --> 00:18:37,782 - You alright Daniel? 540 00:18:37,882 --> 00:18:40,358 You've gone all scary eyes again. - No, no I'm not okay. 541 00:18:40,458 --> 00:18:43,211 I'm never okay when you're around, 'cause you're a nightmare. 542 00:18:43,311 --> 00:18:46,197 And if it wasn't for Daddy, you would've been sacked weeks ago. 543 00:18:46,297 --> 00:18:49,214 - Daniel, I wanted to speak to you. 544 00:18:52,836 --> 00:18:54,565 (sighs) 545 00:18:54,665 --> 00:18:57,220 I'm ashamed to say that I ate a slice of ham. 546 00:18:57,320 --> 00:18:58,053 - Oh, get out. 547 00:18:58,153 --> 00:18:59,370 - You're right to be angry. 548 00:18:59,470 --> 00:19:00,720 Theft is theft. 549 00:19:04,675 --> 00:19:05,633 - You want me sacked? 550 00:19:05,733 --> 00:19:08,180 - You are un-sackable, Charlie. 551 00:19:08,280 --> 00:19:09,013 Don't you get it? 552 00:19:09,113 --> 00:19:11,356 And even if I could get rid of you, what difference would it make? 553 00:19:11,356 --> 00:19:13,173 It's all just a game to you anyway. 554 00:19:13,273 --> 00:19:17,459 And have a little dinner party anecdote about something that wasn't your fault. 555 00:19:17,559 --> 00:19:20,606 - Well I'm sorry that you feel that way. 556 00:19:20,706 --> 00:19:22,706 I just bought you these. 557 00:19:23,781 --> 00:19:25,933 And just so you know, I'm not doing the sound effect game with you anymore, 558 00:19:25,933 --> 00:19:29,714 but only because I don't know how to do the sound of a slamming door. 559 00:19:31,091 --> 00:19:32,627 (exhales) 560 00:19:32,727 --> 00:19:34,475 - No wait, I remember how to do it now. 561 00:19:34,575 --> 00:19:35,408 It's slam! 562 00:19:40,426 --> 00:19:41,159 - Colin. 563 00:19:41,259 --> 00:19:42,136 - No, no, no, Lisa, Lisa, 564 00:19:42,236 --> 00:19:43,688 I'm going to pub, alright? 565 00:19:43,788 --> 00:19:44,621 Alone. 566 00:19:48,372 --> 00:19:49,281 - Where is she then? 567 00:19:49,381 --> 00:19:50,209 - Who? 568 00:19:50,309 --> 00:19:51,698 - This Donna. 569 00:19:51,798 --> 00:19:53,273 I thought she was picking you up. 570 00:19:53,373 --> 00:19:54,206 - Oh yes. 571 00:19:55,238 --> 00:19:57,362 Her very expensive car must have broken down. 572 00:19:57,462 --> 00:19:59,138 I'm catching a bus instead. 573 00:19:59,238 --> 00:20:00,738 - Lying old witch. 574 00:20:02,252 --> 00:20:03,854 - Oh, did it work then? 575 00:20:03,954 --> 00:20:05,037 - No, didn't. 576 00:20:06,765 --> 00:20:08,729 Are you free to make this little shred of ours a reality? 577 00:20:08,729 --> 00:20:10,785 (lighthearted music) - Not happening Harry. 578 00:20:10,885 --> 00:20:11,750 - Worth a try. 579 00:20:11,850 --> 00:20:12,767 Night then. 580 00:20:13,764 --> 00:20:14,683 - Oh, dear. 581 00:20:14,783 --> 00:20:16,003 Lover's tiff. 582 00:20:16,103 --> 00:20:16,836 - What ours? 583 00:20:16,936 --> 00:20:17,669 No. 584 00:20:17,769 --> 00:20:20,015 Anyway, I'm seeing someone soon, aint I, huh? 585 00:20:20,115 --> 00:20:20,893 - Who? 586 00:20:20,993 --> 00:20:21,807 Me? 587 00:20:21,907 --> 00:20:23,101 - Neville! 588 00:20:23,201 --> 00:20:24,284 Just shut up. 589 00:21:10,778 --> 00:21:13,445 (upbeat music)