1 00:00:23,373 --> 00:00:24,290 - Whatever! 2 00:00:27,261 --> 00:00:29,137 - You alright, Heather! 3 00:00:29,237 --> 00:00:30,530 - Not really. 4 00:00:30,630 --> 00:00:34,257 My mom's being such a F-O-O-L at the moment. 5 00:00:34,357 --> 00:00:36,859 She gave away my dog yesterday without even asking me. 6 00:00:36,959 --> 00:00:37,692 - Okay. 7 00:00:37,792 --> 00:00:38,958 - I go to work yesterday, 8 00:00:39,058 --> 00:00:42,180 and he's there, hobbling around the house, panting. 9 00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:43,734 And then I come home, and she says, 10 00:00:43,834 --> 00:00:46,154 "Sorry, Heather, Federer's gone to live in a farm." 11 00:00:46,254 --> 00:00:48,280 - Oh, well it's obvious what's happened there then. 12 00:00:48,280 --> 00:00:49,013 - Is it? 13 00:00:49,113 --> 00:00:50,842 - No, forget I said anything. 14 00:00:50,942 --> 00:00:52,072 - You have to tell me now. 15 00:00:52,172 --> 00:00:53,828 - You're not ready for the truth, sorry. 16 00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:54,704 - I am ready. 17 00:00:54,804 --> 00:00:55,537 I'm so ready. 18 00:00:55,637 --> 00:00:58,439 I'm nearly a woman. I've got the biggest bike in the village. 19 00:00:58,539 --> 00:00:59,565 I can handle the truth! 20 00:00:59,665 --> 00:01:00,514 - Alright, then. 21 00:01:00,614 --> 00:01:02,883 There's no easy way to say this. 22 00:01:02,983 --> 00:01:04,679 Your dog's dead. 23 00:01:04,779 --> 00:01:06,907 Actually that was pretty easy. (chuckles) 24 00:01:07,007 --> 00:01:08,379 - What? - Yeah, whenever they say 25 00:01:08,479 --> 00:01:10,177 an animal's gone to the farm, 26 00:01:10,277 --> 00:01:11,628 it means they're dead. 27 00:01:11,728 --> 00:01:13,612 - What about Agassi, my cat? 28 00:01:13,712 --> 00:01:15,681 He went to live in a farm last year. - Dead. 29 00:01:15,781 --> 00:01:17,423 - Henman, my goldfish? 30 00:01:17,523 --> 00:01:19,242 Are you saying he's not gone to a farm, too? 31 00:01:19,242 --> 00:01:21,620 - (scoffs) A goldfish farm? (laughs) 32 00:01:21,720 --> 00:01:23,816 No, he's dead as well, they're all dead. 33 00:01:23,916 --> 00:01:26,537 Still, at least now you know the truth. 34 00:01:26,637 --> 00:01:28,246 - What about my Uncle David? 35 00:01:28,346 --> 00:01:30,513 He went to live in a farm. 36 00:01:31,688 --> 00:01:32,499 - Was he ill? 37 00:01:32,599 --> 00:01:33,765 - No! 38 00:01:33,865 --> 00:01:35,101 - Was he a farmer? 39 00:01:35,201 --> 00:01:36,283 - Yes. 40 00:01:36,383 --> 00:01:39,684 - That's probably genuine then. 41 00:01:39,784 --> 00:01:43,284 Might wanna give him a call, just in case. 42 00:01:45,619 --> 00:01:47,159 - (sighs) There you are. - No! 43 00:01:47,259 --> 00:01:50,130 - I haven't asked anything. - Yeah, but you're going to. 44 00:01:50,230 --> 00:01:51,820 - Alright, you got me. 45 00:01:51,920 --> 00:01:54,105 I know it's a pain but I need you to take FRT for me. 46 00:01:54,205 --> 00:01:56,476 - Oh my God, Fruit Recognition Training! 47 00:01:56,576 --> 00:01:58,529 - Sorry, we've too many staff not had it. 48 00:01:58,629 --> 00:01:59,362 - Great! 49 00:01:59,462 --> 00:02:01,611 Five past nine and my day is ruined already! 50 00:02:01,711 --> 00:02:03,145 - Let me know if I can do anything to help. 51 00:02:03,145 --> 00:02:04,258 - Uh, you could kill me. 52 00:02:04,358 --> 00:02:07,444 - Yes, but then I have no one to take Fruit Recognition Training. 53 00:02:07,544 --> 00:02:09,444 You can see my problem. 54 00:02:09,544 --> 00:02:12,126 - It's like a round cheese toasty. 55 00:02:12,226 --> 00:02:13,558 - So what are you on about? 56 00:02:13,658 --> 00:02:16,043 - Well, Alan phone him up and asked for it, 57 00:02:16,143 --> 00:02:18,090 and then half an hour later, this boy turns up, 58 00:02:18,190 --> 00:02:19,531 well it's in a box! 59 00:02:19,631 --> 00:02:21,442 - Are you talking about pizza? 60 00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,152 - Oh, yeah, that's it! 61 00:02:23,252 --> 00:02:24,975 Oh, we don't normally eat Spanish. 62 00:02:25,075 --> 00:02:26,742 Alan wolfed it down. 63 00:02:26,842 --> 00:02:28,499 He burnt off the roof of his mouth! 64 00:02:28,599 --> 00:02:30,678 - Can I borrow Margaret? - Yes! 65 00:02:30,778 --> 00:02:32,408 - Margaret, I'm gonna need you from 10 66 00:02:32,508 --> 00:02:34,140 for Fruit Recognition Training. 67 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:36,086 - Fruit Recognition Training! 68 00:02:36,186 --> 00:02:36,919 - It's alright. 69 00:02:37,019 --> 00:02:37,852 It's just a refresher's course 70 00:02:37,852 --> 00:02:40,475 to make sure the staff are up-to-date on the exotic fruits. 71 00:02:40,575 --> 00:02:41,497 - What, a test? 72 00:02:41,597 --> 00:02:43,161 No, I haven't got any pencils. 73 00:02:43,261 --> 00:02:45,007 - It's really not that hard. 74 00:02:45,107 --> 00:02:46,119 - Oh no. 75 00:02:46,219 --> 00:02:48,010 Cherry, that's a fruit. 76 00:02:48,110 --> 00:02:51,469 - Don't worry, Margaret, just save it for the training. 77 00:02:51,569 --> 00:02:52,597 - Oh ,listen to this one. 78 00:02:52,697 --> 00:02:53,824 Listen, listen, listen! 79 00:02:53,924 --> 00:02:57,025 (clears throat) Dear sirs. 80 00:02:57,125 --> 00:03:00,226 Rather than customers carrying separate loyalty cards 81 00:03:00,326 --> 00:03:02,132 for different stores, 82 00:03:02,232 --> 00:03:04,469 would it not make sense for all stores 83 00:03:04,569 --> 00:03:08,294 to sign up to one centralised loyalty card? 84 00:03:08,394 --> 00:03:10,616 - (laughs) A single loyalty card! 85 00:03:10,716 --> 00:03:11,836 - Wait, wait, wait! 86 00:03:11,936 --> 00:03:15,268 This super card could work across the board 87 00:03:15,368 --> 00:03:18,454 and be redeemed at all stores. 88 00:03:18,554 --> 00:03:20,388 Yours, Mike K. Wickham! 89 00:03:20,488 --> 00:03:22,143 (laughter) 90 00:03:22,243 --> 00:03:24,761 - Oh God, Cheryl, stop, you're making me choke on me yoghourt! 91 00:03:24,861 --> 00:03:28,249 - Oh, Monthly Retail letters page, don't ever change! 92 00:03:28,349 --> 00:03:32,322 (laughs) Right, well, I should be getting back. 93 00:03:32,422 --> 00:03:33,569 I'll see you at lunch. 94 00:03:33,669 --> 00:03:35,310 (loud smack) 95 00:03:35,410 --> 00:03:37,212 Oh, though I could eat you up right here! 96 00:03:37,312 --> 00:03:41,479 - (laughs) Careful, probably give you indigestion! 97 00:03:44,344 --> 00:03:47,172 (hums happily) 98 00:03:47,272 --> 00:03:49,083 - I know about the farm, Mom! 99 00:03:49,183 --> 00:03:51,183 I know they're all dead! 100 00:03:52,033 --> 00:03:55,396 Well, I'd have liked to have gone to Uncle David's funeral, actually! 101 00:03:55,496 --> 00:03:56,229 - Katie! 102 00:03:56,329 --> 00:03:58,648 My job's boring enough without sitting in a room going, 103 00:03:58,748 --> 00:04:01,055 "Oh, is that (mumbles) or banana?" 104 00:04:01,155 --> 00:04:03,558 - There's no bananas, it's mainly exotic fruit. 105 00:04:03,658 --> 00:04:05,369 - Well, I don't care if it's Ryan Gosling 106 00:04:05,469 --> 00:04:07,632 with his tackle out, I'm not doing it! 107 00:04:07,732 --> 00:04:09,246 I hate fruit! 108 00:04:09,346 --> 00:04:10,666 Except chocolate orange. 109 00:04:10,766 --> 00:04:12,933 - There's no choice! - Oh! 110 00:04:14,400 --> 00:04:17,139 Yeah, well, I can't actually anyway. 111 00:04:17,239 --> 00:04:19,040 I'm not allowed to leave my chair 112 00:04:19,140 --> 00:04:20,769 'cause I've got a medical condition. 113 00:04:20,869 --> 00:04:22,874 - Rubbish, what medical condition? 114 00:04:22,974 --> 00:04:24,412 - A private one? 115 00:04:24,512 --> 00:04:25,796 Down there? 116 00:04:25,896 --> 00:04:28,683 Doctor said I have to sit down. 117 00:04:28,783 --> 00:04:30,198 - Just do the training. 118 00:04:30,298 --> 00:04:32,713 - I know my rights, you can't force me to do anything 119 00:04:32,813 --> 00:04:35,083 with a medical condition! 120 00:04:35,183 --> 00:04:36,016 - Right. 121 00:04:38,230 --> 00:04:39,576 Get off! (shouts) 122 00:04:39,676 --> 00:04:41,598 - No, doctor's orders! 123 00:04:41,698 --> 00:04:44,193 Oh, better women than you have tried to get me 124 00:04:44,293 --> 00:04:45,791 off this chair, alright? 125 00:04:45,891 --> 00:04:49,164 - (grunts) Fine! 126 00:04:49,264 --> 00:04:50,429 Stay on the chair. 127 00:04:50,529 --> 00:04:52,904 But if I see you off it today, 128 00:04:53,004 --> 00:04:54,265 you'll be on a warning! 129 00:04:54,365 --> 00:04:55,826 - You'll be on a warning! 130 00:04:55,926 --> 00:04:57,093 Right, see ya! 131 00:05:02,193 --> 00:05:04,294 - Oh, Daniel! (laughs) 132 00:05:04,394 --> 00:05:05,859 Dan the man! 133 00:05:05,959 --> 00:05:07,154 Daniel 134 00:05:07,254 --> 00:05:08,087 the man. 135 00:05:09,865 --> 00:05:10,956 - Someone's in a good mood. 136 00:05:11,056 --> 00:05:12,536 - Ah, you mean me! (chuckles) 137 00:05:12,636 --> 00:05:13,717 Guilty as charged! 138 00:05:13,817 --> 00:05:15,427 Gavin Strong, we find you guilty! 139 00:05:15,527 --> 00:05:17,505 I'm being as pleased as punch! 140 00:05:17,605 --> 00:05:19,272 Oh dear, oh, Daniel. 141 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:23,856 - I'm guessing this has something to do with a certain Lauda manager 142 00:05:23,956 --> 00:05:26,416 rather than the coffee initiative? - Well, perhaps. 143 00:05:26,516 --> 00:05:28,450 But a gentleman never-- 144 00:05:28,550 --> 00:05:30,065 What coffee initiative? 145 00:05:30,165 --> 00:05:31,081 - The free coffee. 146 00:05:31,181 --> 00:05:32,283 - Sorry, Daniel. 147 00:05:32,383 --> 00:05:33,779 It's like you're talking Greek. 148 00:05:33,879 --> 00:05:35,479 What on earth are you on about? 149 00:05:35,579 --> 00:05:37,707 - What, didn't you get the email yesterday? 150 00:05:37,807 --> 00:05:39,070 From Head Office? 151 00:05:39,170 --> 00:05:41,079 About the free coffee? 152 00:05:41,179 --> 00:05:41,938 - What email? 153 00:05:42,038 --> 00:05:42,947 - Oh, it's a great idea. 154 00:05:43,047 --> 00:05:45,649 Head Office had decided to blow Lauda right out of the water there. 155 00:05:45,649 --> 00:05:47,864 They're sanctioning us to give away free coffee 156 00:05:47,964 --> 00:05:49,170 to the customers. 157 00:05:49,270 --> 00:05:50,686 - That's the first I've heard of it. 158 00:05:50,786 --> 00:05:51,619 No, wait. 159 00:05:52,587 --> 00:05:54,197 This says I've opened my email. 160 00:05:54,297 --> 00:05:55,995 Well, I must have, 161 00:05:56,095 --> 00:05:58,423 must have opened it by mistake. - Hmm. 162 00:05:58,523 --> 00:06:01,211 - Okay, yeah, what is that, "Mm, hmm," 163 00:06:01,311 --> 00:06:02,419 Mean? 164 00:06:02,519 --> 00:06:04,179 - Is it possible someone else could have opened that 165 00:06:04,179 --> 00:06:05,068 on your phone? 166 00:06:05,168 --> 00:06:06,611 - Of course not, who? 167 00:06:06,711 --> 00:06:08,939 - But you've been spending a lot of time with Cheryl lately. 168 00:06:08,939 --> 00:06:11,830 - Yeah, well, she wouldn't read my emails! - No, no, of course. 169 00:06:13,306 --> 00:06:14,958 But we are in competition. 170 00:06:15,058 --> 00:06:17,376 - Okay, right, you can stop right there, Daniel. 171 00:06:17,476 --> 00:06:20,047 There must be a problem with the phone, or I opened it by accident! 172 00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,249 - Sure, yeah. 173 00:06:21,349 --> 00:06:23,441 - Good, because there is a line, Daniel, 174 00:06:23,541 --> 00:06:26,774 you're sailing very close to it, my 175 00:06:26,874 --> 00:06:28,050 lad. - Yup. 176 00:06:28,150 --> 00:06:31,566 Of course, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said anything. 177 00:06:36,325 --> 00:06:37,158 - I'm sorry, Daniel. 178 00:06:37,158 --> 00:06:40,991 I didn't mean to fly off into one of my rages. 179 00:06:43,184 --> 00:06:45,496 - I'd no idea there were so many fruits! 180 00:06:45,596 --> 00:06:46,329 - I know! 181 00:06:46,429 --> 00:06:48,023 I can hardly contain myself. 182 00:06:48,123 --> 00:06:50,601 - Right, there's no need to drag this out. If we're quick, we'll be done in an hour. 183 00:06:50,601 --> 00:06:52,681 - What, may I ask in loads of questions to strike it out? 184 00:06:52,681 --> 00:06:53,968 - Yeah, so-- 185 00:06:54,068 --> 00:06:55,658 - Well, then I have to go back to my till. 186 00:06:55,758 --> 00:06:58,503 Would you rather have hiccups for the rest of your life 187 00:06:58,603 --> 00:07:00,834 or one big sneeze everyday? 188 00:07:00,934 --> 00:07:04,054 - I'm not answering any of your questions. Anyone else? 189 00:07:04,154 --> 00:07:04,987 Margaret. - Can I have 190 00:07:04,987 --> 00:07:06,104 the sneeze, please? 191 00:07:06,204 --> 00:07:07,771 I don't like hiccups. 192 00:07:07,871 --> 00:07:10,077 - Not about the hiccups, about the fruit. 193 00:07:10,177 --> 00:07:11,009 - What is fruit? 194 00:07:11,109 --> 00:07:13,446 Like generally, what is the history of fruit? 195 00:07:13,546 --> 00:07:14,591 - Anyone else? 196 00:07:14,691 --> 00:07:15,829 - Can I have one big hiccup? 197 00:07:15,929 --> 00:07:16,788 - No, rules are rules! 198 00:07:16,888 --> 00:07:19,804 - Right, everybody shut up, no more questions! 199 00:07:19,904 --> 00:07:23,622 (sighs) Right, can anybody tell me what this is? 200 00:07:23,722 --> 00:07:26,139 - Someone reaching a new low? 201 00:07:28,794 --> 00:07:30,654 - Keeping an eye on the enemy? 202 00:07:30,754 --> 00:07:31,967 - I'm sorry? 203 00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:33,324 - Lauda. 204 00:07:33,424 --> 00:07:36,060 (chuckles) Who knows what that Cheryl will try next? 205 00:07:36,160 --> 00:07:37,243 She's crafty. 206 00:07:38,523 --> 00:07:39,974 - Oh no, there's nothing to worry about that. 207 00:07:39,974 --> 00:07:42,650 It's very much a ceasefire at the moment. 208 00:07:42,750 --> 00:07:46,577 - There's no such thing as a ceasefire in war. 209 00:07:46,677 --> 00:07:48,449 - Well, there definitely is. 210 00:07:48,549 --> 00:07:51,665 - I bet she's got a few more tricks up her sleeve. 211 00:07:51,765 --> 00:07:53,829 You can't trust anyone. 212 00:07:53,929 --> 00:07:56,290 Not in this game, not even yourself. 213 00:07:56,390 --> 00:07:58,767 - What don't you just go on to floorwalk, Ian? 214 00:07:58,867 --> 00:08:01,117 - Next, what fruit is this? 215 00:08:04,285 --> 00:08:05,996 - If we don't know should we say we don't know 216 00:08:05,996 --> 00:08:07,505 or make a name up? 217 00:08:07,605 --> 00:08:08,760 - Whatever you think, try it. 218 00:08:08,860 --> 00:08:10,860 - Okay, uh, silly apple. 219 00:08:13,333 --> 00:08:15,934 - Miss, miss, I think I need to go see the nurse. 220 00:08:16,034 --> 00:08:18,016 Something's not quite right down there! 221 00:08:18,116 --> 00:08:20,579 - Give me the kiwi fruits! 222 00:08:20,679 --> 00:08:22,501 - I feel so emasculated. 223 00:08:22,601 --> 00:08:24,377 - Alright, what are these? 224 00:08:24,477 --> 00:08:26,268 - Well, if we don't know this one, should we just-- 225 00:08:26,268 --> 00:08:28,564 - Margaret, I just said what they were. 226 00:08:28,664 --> 00:08:30,061 - Well, I missed it. 227 00:08:30,161 --> 00:08:32,161 I think I'll just guess. 228 00:08:34,009 --> 00:08:35,259 Furry potatoes! 229 00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,667 (loud rattling) 230 00:08:42,767 --> 00:08:44,107 - Right, the results are in. 231 00:08:44,207 --> 00:08:46,391 Well done, everyone. You've nearly all passed. 232 00:08:46,491 --> 00:08:48,216 - Oh, I'm so pleased! 233 00:08:48,316 --> 00:08:50,512 Oh, I'm not usually pretty good at tests! (laughs) 234 00:08:50,612 --> 00:08:51,925 - Yeah, Margaret, about that-- 235 00:08:52,025 --> 00:08:54,011 - Oh, I'll have to call Alan and tell him. 236 00:08:54,111 --> 00:08:55,818 "I've passed, Alan, I've passed!" I'll say. 237 00:08:55,918 --> 00:08:56,935 - Yeah, I wouldn't call him-- - Actually, 238 00:08:56,935 --> 00:08:58,467 I'll call him later because he's out 239 00:08:58,567 --> 00:08:59,850 with his foot this morning-- 240 00:08:59,950 --> 00:09:00,867 - Margaret. 241 00:09:02,301 --> 00:09:03,449 I'm sorry, 242 00:09:03,549 --> 00:09:06,061 but you didn't actually pass. 243 00:09:06,161 --> 00:09:07,455 - I failed the test? 244 00:09:07,555 --> 00:09:09,762 - Let's just say you didn't pass. 245 00:09:09,862 --> 00:09:11,103 But, hey! 246 00:09:11,203 --> 00:09:12,937 You got melon right! 247 00:09:13,037 --> 00:09:15,454 - Only because I spelled lemon wrong. 248 00:09:15,554 --> 00:09:18,738 - Look, don't worry, it's really not important. 249 00:09:18,838 --> 00:09:20,080 - This woman in here, right. 250 00:09:20,180 --> 00:09:23,629 You found out Earl's been cheating on her with her own Gran? 251 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:24,794 Can you believe that? 252 00:09:24,894 --> 00:09:27,522 I mean, I've got blokes cheat on me with my Mom before 253 00:09:27,622 --> 00:09:28,779 but me Gran? 254 00:09:28,879 --> 00:09:32,116 Ugh, she is like 30 years older than me? 255 00:09:32,216 --> 00:09:33,137 - Hey, Lisa! 256 00:09:33,237 --> 00:09:35,691 Fancy a chocolate? Angela bought them in for her birthday. 257 00:09:35,791 --> 00:09:37,040 - Yeah! - Hurry up, then! 258 00:09:37,140 --> 00:09:39,103 - Well, you'll have to bring 'em over here. 259 00:09:39,203 --> 00:09:41,687 As you may, remember, Katie, I've got a medical condition, 260 00:09:41,787 --> 00:09:43,178 which means I'm not allowed to leave my chair. 261 00:09:43,178 --> 00:09:43,911 - Dammit! 262 00:09:44,011 --> 00:09:46,150 - Hah, you thought I'd fall for that! 263 00:09:46,250 --> 00:09:47,761 - Well, you'll have to leave the chair at some point, 264 00:09:47,761 --> 00:09:48,494 it's only lunch. 265 00:09:48,594 --> 00:09:50,589 I bet you're starving, I know I am! 266 00:09:50,689 --> 00:09:54,113 - A bit peckish, maybe, not about starving. 267 00:09:54,213 --> 00:09:57,476 (laughs) Good job I've got a snack here, eh? 268 00:09:57,576 --> 00:09:59,307 To keep me goin'? 269 00:09:59,407 --> 00:10:01,901 (laughs) Enjoy your lunch! 270 00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:02,834 - Are you alright? 271 00:10:02,834 --> 00:10:04,965 - I mean you've barely touched your jacket potato. 272 00:10:05,065 --> 00:10:08,752 And quite frankly, they're even better than normal today. 273 00:10:08,852 --> 00:10:10,185 - It's just, oh. 274 00:10:12,272 --> 00:10:14,028 Okay look, I hope you don't take this the wrong way. 275 00:10:14,028 --> 00:10:18,195 But you haven't by any chance (chuckles) looked at my phone? 276 00:10:19,716 --> 00:10:20,689 - What? 277 00:10:20,789 --> 00:10:23,196 - I completely understand if you'd accidentally did. 278 00:10:23,296 --> 00:10:25,150 It's just that I got this very important message 279 00:10:25,150 --> 00:10:28,153 from Head Office and I don't remember reading it. 280 00:10:28,253 --> 00:10:31,836 I just thought maybe perhaps you'd read it? 281 00:10:37,039 --> 00:10:38,872 - Think I'd better go. 282 00:10:39,730 --> 00:10:40,647 - Oh, Lord. 283 00:10:41,507 --> 00:10:42,656 I'm sorry. 284 00:10:42,756 --> 00:10:45,172 I shouldn't have asked. No, no, Cheryl, please. 285 00:10:45,272 --> 00:10:47,563 Please, don't go, it's my fault. 286 00:10:47,663 --> 00:10:49,348 I didn't know what I was saying. 287 00:10:49,448 --> 00:10:51,617 I know you'd never 288 00:10:51,717 --> 00:10:52,664 read my phone. 289 00:10:52,764 --> 00:10:56,536 It's just this war has made me paranoid! 290 00:10:56,636 --> 00:10:58,815 I've had a big breakfast and I can't think straight 291 00:10:58,815 --> 00:11:01,297 on a big breakfast. Come on, Cheryl. 292 00:11:01,397 --> 00:11:03,022 Let's talk about it. 293 00:11:03,122 --> 00:11:06,449 - I really should get back to work. 294 00:11:06,549 --> 00:11:07,799 Goodbye, Gavin. 295 00:11:14,791 --> 00:11:16,958 - Pineapple, kiwi, mango-- 296 00:11:19,398 --> 00:11:21,238 Ooh, oh, hello! 297 00:11:21,338 --> 00:11:23,417 What are you doing there? 298 00:11:23,517 --> 00:11:25,579 (camera clicking) - Lisa? 299 00:11:25,679 --> 00:11:26,495 - Yeah? 300 00:11:26,595 --> 00:11:28,734 - What's the code for the mangoes? 301 00:11:28,834 --> 00:11:30,617 - Dunno, just put them through as apples. 302 00:11:30,717 --> 00:11:32,088 That's what I always do. 303 00:11:32,188 --> 00:11:33,434 - Sound. 304 00:11:33,534 --> 00:11:36,585 - (sighs) The things you see in this place, honestly! 305 00:11:36,685 --> 00:11:38,710 Would you believe I've just seen a great big spider 306 00:11:38,710 --> 00:11:40,464 in with the kiwi fruits? 307 00:11:40,564 --> 00:11:41,992 Oh no, pineapples. 308 00:11:42,092 --> 00:11:43,038 No, the kiwi fruits. 309 00:11:43,138 --> 00:11:44,377 - Well, doesn't surprise me. 310 00:11:44,477 --> 00:11:46,311 Fruit coming in from all corners of the globe. 311 00:11:46,311 --> 00:11:48,247 It's like a backpacker's holiday for insects. 312 00:11:48,347 --> 00:11:50,285 - Oh, a big fat thing it was! 313 00:11:50,385 --> 00:11:51,398 All orange. 314 00:11:51,498 --> 00:11:53,606 I've never seen anything like it! 315 00:11:53,706 --> 00:11:54,959 - Did you say orange? 316 00:11:55,059 --> 00:11:57,664 Margaret, I want you to think very carefully. 317 00:11:57,764 --> 00:11:59,213 Where did you see this spider? 318 00:11:59,313 --> 00:12:01,104 - In the fruit and vegetables section. 319 00:12:01,204 --> 00:12:02,114 - And how big was it? 320 00:12:02,214 --> 00:12:02,947 - Oh, it's very big! 321 00:12:03,047 --> 00:12:04,516 It goes all the way up to cereals! 322 00:12:04,616 --> 00:12:07,142 - Not the fruit and veg section. How big was the spider? 323 00:12:07,242 --> 00:12:08,543 - Oh, about 324 00:12:08,643 --> 00:12:09,376 yea. 325 00:12:09,476 --> 00:12:10,480 - Was it bulbous? 326 00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:11,313 - I don't know. 327 00:12:11,413 --> 00:12:12,789 What's bulbous mean? - Round, fat. 328 00:12:12,789 --> 00:12:13,926 - Oh, very bulbous! 329 00:12:14,026 --> 00:12:16,714 - Then what you've described is no ordinary spider. 330 00:12:16,814 --> 00:12:18,895 It's a false widow! 331 00:12:18,995 --> 00:12:19,770 - Oh, is that bad? 332 00:12:19,870 --> 00:12:20,817 - It's lethal! 333 00:12:20,917 --> 00:12:22,667 - Does that mean bad? 334 00:12:25,663 --> 00:12:26,745 - How you doing? 335 00:12:26,845 --> 00:12:28,667 You're not still upset about your dog, are you? 336 00:12:28,667 --> 00:12:29,611 - No. 337 00:12:29,711 --> 00:12:32,140 I've decided I'm not gonna get too upset about Federer. 338 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:33,388 He wouldn't want that. 339 00:12:33,488 --> 00:12:34,772 I'm getting a new pet instead. 340 00:12:34,872 --> 00:12:35,947 - Yeah, what you gonna get? 341 00:12:36,047 --> 00:12:37,193 - I'm not sure. 342 00:12:37,293 --> 00:12:39,288 I'm not very good at choosing things. 343 00:12:39,388 --> 00:12:41,138 Or crossing the road. 344 00:12:42,060 --> 00:12:44,298 - Well, start at the beginning. What's your favourite animal? 345 00:12:44,298 --> 00:12:45,827 - Yogi Bear! 346 00:12:45,927 --> 00:12:47,027 Can you have a pet bear? 347 00:12:47,127 --> 00:12:48,311 - Yeah, sure! 348 00:12:48,411 --> 00:12:50,280 If you want your face ripped off. (chuckles) 349 00:12:50,380 --> 00:12:51,360 - Oh. 350 00:12:51,460 --> 00:12:53,556 What about a monkey? - Monkeys are fine. 351 00:12:53,656 --> 00:12:56,080 If you want your face ripped off! (chuckles) 352 00:12:56,180 --> 00:12:57,831 - What animals don't rip faces off? 353 00:12:57,931 --> 00:13:00,307 - Statistically, not many. 354 00:13:00,407 --> 00:13:03,278 - This is gonna be harder than I thought. - Don't rush, take your time. 355 00:13:03,378 --> 00:13:06,504 Sooner or later the right pet will find you. 356 00:13:06,604 --> 00:13:07,633 - What about Booboo? 357 00:13:07,733 --> 00:13:08,960 - Booboo! (laughs) 358 00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:10,560 Rip your face off. 359 00:13:13,220 --> 00:13:16,271 - Have you got any spiders in your shopping today? 360 00:13:16,371 --> 00:13:17,707 - Margaret, what you doing? 361 00:13:17,807 --> 00:13:18,665 - Oh, Lisa. 362 00:13:18,765 --> 00:13:20,195 It's ever so worrying. 363 00:13:20,295 --> 00:13:23,183 There's a very poisonous spider on the loose 364 00:13:23,283 --> 00:13:26,680 and it could be anywhere! - A poisonous spider? 365 00:13:26,780 --> 00:13:27,613 - Yes! 366 00:13:28,863 --> 00:13:30,270 - Oh, yeah. (scoffs) 367 00:13:30,370 --> 00:13:31,327 - And it's bulbous! 368 00:13:31,427 --> 00:13:33,846 - Yeah, I guess I'm meant to panic and jump out me chair. 369 00:13:33,946 --> 00:13:34,949 Nice try. 370 00:13:35,049 --> 00:13:37,387 - I don't follow you. - Look you can tell Katie, 371 00:13:37,487 --> 00:13:40,558 if she thinks I'm that much of an idiot, she can-- 372 00:13:40,658 --> 00:13:42,180 - Margaret! - I think that's 373 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,687 the whole message. 374 00:13:43,787 --> 00:13:45,034 Yeah, that's it all. 375 00:13:45,134 --> 00:13:48,301 Can't stop, I've got to find a spider. 376 00:13:49,745 --> 00:13:50,690 - What was that about? 377 00:13:50,790 --> 00:13:53,173 - (sighs) Frickin' Lisa! I've been trying to get her off her chair! 378 00:13:53,173 --> 00:13:54,469 - (scoffs) Bob tried it once. 379 00:13:54,569 --> 00:13:55,504 She's like a rock. 380 00:13:55,604 --> 00:13:57,919 - I'm not giving up. She's gonna have to get up at some point. 381 00:13:57,919 --> 00:13:58,752 - Well. 382 00:13:59,924 --> 00:14:02,493 When you gotta go, you gotta go. 383 00:14:02,593 --> 00:14:06,578 - You are a genius! (Daniel chuckles) 384 00:14:06,678 --> 00:14:09,213 - Gavin, we might have a bit of a problem. 385 00:14:09,313 --> 00:14:10,187 - Alright. - Now, I don't want 386 00:14:10,187 --> 00:14:13,061 to worry you but I think there may be a false widow spider 387 00:14:13,161 --> 00:14:14,341 somewhere in the store. 388 00:14:14,441 --> 00:14:15,887 - Mm, that's nice. - Don't worry. 389 00:14:15,987 --> 00:14:17,502 I've mixed up a batch of antidote. 390 00:14:17,602 --> 00:14:19,855 Two parts Amoxillin, one part Renese. 391 00:14:19,955 --> 00:14:20,788 - Brian. 392 00:14:21,934 --> 00:14:25,803 Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian. 393 00:14:25,903 --> 00:14:27,897 You ever feel like you've ruined everything? 394 00:14:27,997 --> 00:14:30,949 Your heart just actually breaking? 395 00:14:31,049 --> 00:14:35,196 All you wanna do is just sit in your car and listen to Dire Straits. 396 00:14:35,296 --> 00:14:36,090 - Not really no. 397 00:14:36,190 --> 00:14:38,350 Anyway, this spider, wherever he is, 398 00:14:38,450 --> 00:14:40,250 and trust me it is a he, I can feel it. 399 00:14:40,350 --> 00:14:41,944 I will find him-- - You should have seen 400 00:14:41,944 --> 00:14:43,759 the way she looked at me. 401 00:14:43,859 --> 00:14:46,859 It was like she didn't recognise me. 402 00:14:48,552 --> 00:14:51,417 Oh no, no, it's more like, sort of like-- 403 00:14:51,517 --> 00:14:53,774 - Right. - It was a look that said. 404 00:14:53,874 --> 00:14:56,011 (scoffs) Sell over, Gavin Strong. 405 00:14:56,111 --> 00:14:58,439 - Look, I really think I should go and catch this spider 406 00:14:58,439 --> 00:15:01,606 before it gets away and kill somebody. 407 00:15:02,557 --> 00:15:03,390 - Yes! 408 00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:05,920 Yes, you're right! 409 00:15:06,020 --> 00:15:08,080 You can't let these things get away from you. 410 00:15:08,180 --> 00:15:10,417 If you love something, 411 00:15:10,517 --> 00:15:13,640 you're gonna fight tooth and nail for it! 412 00:15:13,740 --> 00:15:15,157 Thank you, Brian! 413 00:15:16,124 --> 00:15:17,207 You're a real 414 00:15:18,274 --> 00:15:19,107 pill! 415 00:15:20,793 --> 00:15:22,780 - Yeah, I've been on this chair all day. 416 00:15:22,880 --> 00:15:26,400 The whole left side of me ass has gone numb. 417 00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:27,773 But when I touch it, 418 00:15:27,873 --> 00:15:30,595 it's like I'm touching somebody else's ass! 419 00:15:30,695 --> 00:15:32,085 - Alright, Lisa. 420 00:15:32,185 --> 00:15:34,629 I'm just gonna leave this here. 421 00:15:34,729 --> 00:15:36,610 And I know you're probably dying for the loo 422 00:15:36,710 --> 00:15:39,025 since you've been sat there all day. 423 00:15:39,125 --> 00:15:40,132 - Doesn't bother me. 424 00:15:40,232 --> 00:15:43,236 - 'Cause if you need the loo, all you've gotta do is just get up and go. 425 00:15:43,336 --> 00:15:44,769 - No, fine. 426 00:15:44,869 --> 00:15:45,702 - Good. 427 00:15:48,963 --> 00:15:53,112 - Oh! (water trickles loudly) 428 00:15:53,212 --> 00:15:54,465 - We've searched everywhere! 429 00:15:54,565 --> 00:15:56,137 - I don't think that man was very happy 430 00:15:56,237 --> 00:15:58,246 when you tipped him out of his wheelchair. 431 00:15:58,346 --> 00:15:59,212 - He'd have been a lot less happy 432 00:15:59,212 --> 00:16:01,723 with a false widow spider bite, he'd be dead. 433 00:16:01,823 --> 00:16:04,164 - Or maybe that spider's just decided to call it a day 434 00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:04,997 and go home. 435 00:16:05,097 --> 00:16:05,830 - Oh, no. 436 00:16:05,930 --> 00:16:07,709 If he's not in here then he's out there 437 00:16:07,809 --> 00:16:09,976 in Worrington, mocking me! 438 00:16:10,845 --> 00:16:15,018 We're gonna have to report it. Let's start with a description. 439 00:16:15,118 --> 00:16:19,599 (sighs) Orange, bulbous body. 440 00:16:19,699 --> 00:16:20,881 - Spider. 441 00:16:20,981 --> 00:16:23,615 - Expert at evading capture. 442 00:16:23,715 --> 00:16:26,113 Mocking. - Yellow wavy bits. 443 00:16:26,213 --> 00:16:28,546 - Disrespectful pharmacist-- 444 00:16:29,823 --> 00:16:31,240 Yellow wavy bits? 445 00:16:32,466 --> 00:16:35,396 - Yeah, they're coming out of his body! 446 00:16:35,496 --> 00:16:37,996 - That doesn't make any sense. 447 00:16:39,885 --> 00:16:40,802 Don't move! 448 00:16:46,351 --> 00:16:47,184 - Got ya! 449 00:16:48,982 --> 00:16:51,039 - It's just an expression, Margaret! 450 00:16:51,139 --> 00:16:54,227 Orange, bulbous body, yellow wavy bits? 451 00:16:54,327 --> 00:16:57,160 Is this by any chance your spider? 452 00:17:00,139 --> 00:17:01,618 - Oh, dear. - Yeah, we just wasted 453 00:17:01,718 --> 00:17:04,633 half a day trying to track down a kumquat, Margaret! 454 00:17:04,733 --> 00:17:06,579 - No, no that's not a kumquat. 455 00:17:06,679 --> 00:17:07,868 That's a syphilis. 456 00:17:07,968 --> 00:17:09,890 I mean, physalis. 457 00:17:09,990 --> 00:17:11,573 You see a kumquat-- 458 00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:14,356 I did it! 459 00:17:14,456 --> 00:17:15,393 I did it! 460 00:17:15,493 --> 00:17:17,268 I recognised a fruit! 461 00:17:17,368 --> 00:17:18,708 I'm not a failure! 462 00:17:18,808 --> 00:17:20,464 Oh, Brian! (laughs) 463 00:17:20,564 --> 00:17:21,577 - Alright, Margaret! 464 00:17:21,677 --> 00:17:23,427 Dignity at all times. 465 00:17:27,099 --> 00:17:28,018 (loud knocking) 466 00:17:28,118 --> 00:17:30,122 - I know you're in there! 467 00:17:30,222 --> 00:17:30,955 - [Lisa] I know not 468 00:17:31,055 --> 00:17:31,888 what you mean! (speaks in foreign accent) 469 00:17:31,888 --> 00:17:34,042 Who is this Lisa you speak of? 470 00:17:34,142 --> 00:17:36,037 - I never even said your name, Lisa. 471 00:17:36,137 --> 00:17:38,286 (Lisa groans) - Out you go. 472 00:17:38,386 --> 00:17:41,719 (toilet flushes) - Fine! 473 00:17:43,529 --> 00:17:46,071 - You have got to be kidding me! 474 00:17:46,171 --> 00:17:46,904 - What? 475 00:17:47,004 --> 00:17:48,375 Couldn't walk, eh, could I? 476 00:17:48,475 --> 00:17:50,365 Doctor's orders! (chuckles) 477 00:17:50,465 --> 00:17:51,465 - Fine. 478 00:17:51,565 --> 00:17:52,298 I give up. 479 00:17:52,398 --> 00:17:53,435 You win. 480 00:17:53,535 --> 00:17:54,287 - Ha! 481 00:17:54,387 --> 00:17:56,804 Give us a push back, will ya? 482 00:17:58,470 --> 00:17:59,920 - Oh, Cheryl, I've just come to find you. 483 00:17:59,920 --> 00:18:02,727 - Gavin, we should-- - No, no, let me. 484 00:18:02,827 --> 00:18:03,883 I'm so sorry, Cheryl. 485 00:18:03,983 --> 00:18:05,033 I've been a prize plum. 486 00:18:05,133 --> 00:18:07,224 I knew you'd never betray my trust, 487 00:18:07,324 --> 00:18:10,546 especially over a stupid free coffee initiative. 488 00:18:10,646 --> 00:18:12,552 I should never have accused you. 489 00:18:12,652 --> 00:18:16,152 I hope this isn't too soon or too forward. 490 00:18:17,202 --> 00:18:19,176 I'd like you to accept this. 491 00:18:19,276 --> 00:18:20,777 - Oh, Gavin, you shouldn't-- 492 00:18:20,877 --> 00:18:21,901 - Yes, I should. 493 00:18:22,001 --> 00:18:23,440 Please, please! 494 00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:24,373 Open it. 495 00:18:34,660 --> 00:18:37,029 - A subscription to Retail Monthly? 496 00:18:37,129 --> 00:18:39,112 - Now we can have a copy each when we read those 497 00:18:39,212 --> 00:18:40,712 hilarious letters! 498 00:18:42,619 --> 00:18:44,238 - Gavin, I can't let you do this, I ca-- 499 00:18:44,338 --> 00:18:46,392 - No, it's the least that I can do. 500 00:18:46,492 --> 00:18:48,179 I crossed a line, Cheryl. 501 00:18:48,279 --> 00:18:50,251 I know you'd never do anything that bad. 502 00:18:50,351 --> 00:18:52,165 - Stop it, Gavin, please. Stop it. 503 00:18:52,265 --> 00:18:53,977 I need to tell you something. 504 00:18:54,077 --> 00:18:55,098 - Have you seen this, Gavin? 505 00:18:55,098 --> 00:18:57,609 They start their free coffee over the road. 506 00:18:57,709 --> 00:19:00,209 Don't know why we don't do it. 507 00:19:03,366 --> 00:19:06,168 - Please tell me this is some kind of horrible coincidence. 508 00:19:06,268 --> 00:19:07,567 - I'm sorry. 509 00:19:07,667 --> 00:19:08,940 I couldn't help it. 510 00:19:09,040 --> 00:19:09,921 - When? 511 00:19:10,021 --> 00:19:11,021 - Yesterday. 512 00:19:12,298 --> 00:19:14,350 I didn't want to look at your phone but you'd left the room 513 00:19:14,350 --> 00:19:17,162 and it was just sitting there and-- 514 00:19:17,262 --> 00:19:18,644 I mean, I wasn't myself! 515 00:19:18,744 --> 00:19:20,121 And I'd had a big breakfast, 516 00:19:20,221 --> 00:19:23,520 I'm never myself on a big breakfast. 517 00:19:23,620 --> 00:19:27,075 - So you just read my private email 518 00:19:27,175 --> 00:19:28,690 and steal Valco ideas? 519 00:19:28,790 --> 00:19:30,803 - I couldn't help myself. 520 00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:33,653 Look I care ab-- - Don't touch me. 521 00:19:35,494 --> 00:19:38,218 Have you been using me all along? 522 00:19:38,318 --> 00:19:39,425 Is that all I was to you? 523 00:19:39,525 --> 00:19:42,494 Just someone string along for more information? 524 00:19:42,594 --> 00:19:43,427 - No! 525 00:19:44,993 --> 00:19:47,660 - I can't believe I fell for it. 526 00:19:48,671 --> 00:19:50,338 How could you do it? 527 00:19:51,764 --> 00:19:53,022 - Gavin, look. 528 00:19:53,122 --> 00:19:54,856 Whatever we have, 529 00:19:54,956 --> 00:19:57,206 I am a Lauda manager first. 530 00:19:58,570 --> 00:19:59,931 I have to protect my store. 531 00:20:00,031 --> 00:20:03,198 Just like you have to put Valco first. 532 00:20:04,133 --> 00:20:07,069 We were mad to think this would ever work. 533 00:20:07,169 --> 00:20:09,209 - Maybe we were. 534 00:20:09,309 --> 00:20:10,042 Don't worry. 535 00:20:10,142 --> 00:20:12,475 Whatever we had is over now. 536 00:20:15,464 --> 00:20:16,631 Happy reading. 537 00:20:24,138 --> 00:20:28,305 - I rather think this coffee's left a bad taste in my mouth. 538 00:20:29,755 --> 00:20:32,005 No, wait, it's chewing gum. 539 00:20:35,327 --> 00:20:37,117 (loud thud) 540 00:20:37,217 --> 00:20:38,050 - Yes! 541 00:20:41,102 --> 00:20:42,949 (loud thud) 542 00:20:43,049 --> 00:20:45,738 - You're right about a new pet. 543 00:20:45,838 --> 00:20:47,032 Look. 544 00:20:47,132 --> 00:20:48,893 One did find me. 545 00:20:48,993 --> 00:20:50,196 - Whoa! 546 00:20:50,296 --> 00:20:51,619 That's a big spider! 547 00:20:51,719 --> 00:20:54,028 - He was just crawling around the aisle. 548 00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:56,795 Ian, say hello to Orange Jason. 549 00:20:56,895 --> 00:20:57,687 - Clever. 550 00:20:57,787 --> 00:20:59,116 Like Jason Orange. 551 00:20:59,216 --> 00:21:00,180 - Who? 552 00:21:00,280 --> 00:21:01,363 - Never mind. 553 00:21:02,434 --> 00:21:04,017 - See you tomorrow! 554 00:21:07,294 --> 00:21:08,413 - Hey! - Hi! 555 00:21:08,513 --> 00:21:10,137 - I meant to say thanks for doing the training 556 00:21:10,137 --> 00:21:11,105 earlier today. 557 00:21:11,205 --> 00:21:12,373 I owe you a beer. 558 00:21:12,473 --> 00:21:14,543 - Oh, I've got plans tonight. 559 00:21:14,643 --> 00:21:17,378 - Oh no, I didn't mean now, sorry. 560 00:21:17,478 --> 00:21:18,321 - Oh, oh yeah! 561 00:21:18,421 --> 00:21:19,780 Yeah, okay, sure. 562 00:21:19,880 --> 00:21:21,469 So well, see you tomorrow! 563 00:21:21,569 --> 00:21:24,402 - Not if I see you tomorrow first! 564 00:21:25,794 --> 00:21:29,016 (sighs) Not if I see you tomorrow first. 565 00:21:29,116 --> 00:21:29,949 Yeah. 566 00:21:32,093 --> 00:21:35,010 (melancholy music) 567 00:21:42,549 --> 00:21:46,716 (melancholy rock music) (printer whirring)