1
00:00:00,989 --> 00:00:01,722
(clap)

2
00:00:01,822 --> 00:00:02,555
- Valco!

3
00:00:02,655 --> 00:00:03,631
- Serves you right!

4
00:00:03,731 --> 00:00:05,020
- I've prepared something....

5
00:00:05,120 --> 00:00:05,853
(laughs)

6
00:00:05,953 --> 00:00:09,180
- Can she just stop that?
- Don't forget our brilliant (laughs)

7
00:00:09,280 --> 00:00:10,449
- From booze to biscuits

8
00:00:10,549 --> 00:00:11,679
- Red hot deals.

9
00:00:11,779 --> 00:00:12,788
- Loads of two for ones.

10
00:00:12,888 --> 00:00:15,037
- The finest butchers, the freshest meat

11
00:00:15,137 --> 00:00:17,420
- Service with a smile (laughs)

12
00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:19,168
- Friendly staff always happy to help

13
00:00:19,268 --> 00:00:20,399
- Am I gettin' paid for this?

14
00:00:20,499 --> 00:00:22,009
- Don't forget the Valco tick!

15
00:00:22,109 --> 00:00:24,349
- Everyone always gets it wrong,
it's definitely that way

16
00:00:24,349 --> 00:00:25,082
- Tick!

17
00:00:25,182 --> 00:00:26,848
- (all together) Valco!
Serves you right!

18
00:00:26,848 --> 00:00:29,431
- Now with added Pleasure Foods

19
00:00:31,309 --> 00:00:34,726
- Oh these are wonderful, Shai, wonderful

20
00:00:35,971 --> 00:00:37,972
They're just so evenly spaced

21
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:40,492
- Nought point 85 metres,
I based my calculations

22
00:00:40,592 --> 00:00:44,260
on the average stride length of a woman
what with these being ladies footprints

23
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:47,071
- They're actually
modelled on my footprints.

24
00:00:47,171 --> 00:00:49,121
- So it's true what everyone says?

25
00:00:49,221 --> 00:00:50,932
You do have very small feet.

26
00:00:51,032 --> 00:00:53,551
- I do not. Whaddaya mean, everyone?

27
00:00:53,651 --> 00:00:55,290
- Well, not everyone, just the bakers

28
00:00:55,390 --> 00:00:56,821
- Oh well, we all know what they're like

29
00:00:56,821 --> 00:00:58,411
- And the delivery
drivers, the canteen girls,

30
00:00:58,411 --> 00:01:00,710
the shelf stackers and
everyone on the night shift.

31
00:01:00,710 --> 00:01:02,340
Oh, and all the staff at Halfords.

32
00:01:02,440 --> 00:01:04,151
- Oh well, that's the
last time I go in there

33
00:01:04,251 --> 00:01:06,280
- They also say you're quite petty

34
00:01:06,380 --> 00:01:07,213
- Gavin!

35
00:01:08,061 --> 00:01:11,471
Why're you stickin' all these
kiddy footprints on the floor?

36
00:01:11,571 --> 00:01:14,260
- They're actually adult
footprints, Margaret,

37
00:01:14,360 --> 00:01:16,012
and to answer your question,

38
00:01:16,112 --> 00:01:17,731
customers can follow the footprints

39
00:01:17,731 --> 00:01:20,292
and be led to all the healthy
products around the store.

40
00:01:20,392 --> 00:01:23,791
- Ohhhh, aye like in that film
with the yella brick road.

41
00:01:23,891 --> 00:01:25,271
- Yeah, the Wizard of Oz.

42
00:01:25,371 --> 00:01:29,372
- No no no, that one with
the lion and the tin man.

43
00:01:29,472 --> 00:01:30,898
- Yeah yeah, the Wizard of Oz.

44
00:01:30,998 --> 00:01:33,052
- No, the one with the song about

45
00:01:33,152 --> 00:01:35,292
going off t'see someone.

46
00:01:35,392 --> 00:01:38,001
- Yes, it's the Wizard of Oz, alright?

47
00:01:38,101 --> 00:01:41,100
That's the name of the film.

48
00:01:41,200 --> 00:01:42,471
- No no, it's not that.

49
00:01:42,571 --> 00:01:43,612
I'll ring Alan, 'e'll know,

50
00:01:43,712 --> 00:01:46,000
can I borra yer phone Gavin?

51
00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:47,561
- Just get back to the

52
00:01:47,661 --> 00:01:50,052
pharmacy counter please, Margaret.

53
00:01:50,152 --> 00:01:50,985
- Rightio

54
00:01:54,070 --> 00:01:55,920
- People also say you pick on Margaret

55
00:01:56,020 --> 00:01:56,853
- I do not

56
00:01:57,979 --> 00:02:00,062
- And have anger problems

57
00:02:06,280 --> 00:02:08,050
- Porridge? 'Olemeal toast? Fruit?

58
00:02:08,150 --> 00:02:10,892
'Ave I slept through the apocalypse?

59
00:02:10,992 --> 00:02:12,692
Daniel, I hate to tell you this

60
00:02:12,792 --> 00:02:15,492
There's been a dreadful error
There's no fried breakfast.

61
00:02:15,592 --> 00:02:17,561
- Oh Gavin's given the canteen a makeover.

62
00:02:17,661 --> 00:02:18,819
All the bad stuff is gone.

63
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- Bad stuff? Black
pudding is made of blood,

64
00:02:21,432 --> 00:02:23,111
and that's one of yer five a day.

65
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- You can't expect this man
to survive on rabbit food

66
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'E puts 'is life on the line,

67
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'e's practically a war hero.

68
00:02:29,432 --> 00:02:31,999
- Well, that's for others to say,
which you just did

69
00:02:32,099 --> 00:02:34,333
- Gavin wants us to get behind
the healthy eatin' thing,

70
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so let's just give it a go, eh?

71
00:02:36,432 --> 00:02:40,015
- This is an affront
to my civil liberties!

72
00:02:41,203 --> 00:02:44,993
I 'ope you're pleased with yerself,
makin' people work in these conditions

73
00:02:45,093 --> 00:02:46,113
- Is there a problem, Ian?

74
00:02:46,213 --> 00:02:48,880
- You, sir, are worse than scum!

75
00:02:53,811 --> 00:02:56,061
- A lot of people say that.

76
00:02:58,243 --> 00:02:59,724
- Go on
- Yesss!

77
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- Amazin'

78
00:03:00,657 --> 00:03:03,996
D'you know wine's made from grapes?
- No I didn't know that

79
00:03:04,096 --> 00:03:05,625
- Here is your rota for next week

80
00:03:05,725 --> 00:03:08,215
- Oh I can't work Sat'day,
there's a family emergency

81
00:03:08,315 --> 00:03:09,095
- What's happened?

82
00:03:09,195 --> 00:03:11,333
- Me 'n Colin are tryin'
fer a baby all weekend.

83
00:03:11,433 --> 00:03:12,734
- Yeah, like allllll weekend,

84
00:03:12,834 --> 00:03:14,204
you know what I'm talkin' about?

85
00:03:14,304 --> 00:03:15,860
- That's not an emergency

86
00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:19,343
- But yerrit is. We're
desperate fer a lickle babba

87
00:03:19,443 --> 00:03:21,575
- Yeah man, I'm keeping my pants off

88
00:03:21,675 --> 00:03:23,952
so I can keep my junk at
the perfect temperature,

89
00:03:24,052 --> 00:03:25,415
boiling point

90
00:03:25,515 --> 00:03:27,313
- And I've got an ovulation stick.

91
00:03:27,413 --> 00:03:29,603
You slot it in and it beeps
when yer eggs are ready

92
00:03:29,703 --> 00:03:31,524
- Like a hairy microwave

93
00:03:31,624 --> 00:03:33,855
- Okay, before I pass out,

94
00:03:33,955 --> 00:03:35,975
let me make this perfectly clear, Lisa

95
00:03:36,075 --> 00:03:38,655
you're working Saturday

96
00:03:38,755 --> 00:03:41,649
- Are you denyin' us the
right to 'ave a child?

97
00:03:41,749 --> 00:03:43,324
- You betta lawyer up

98
00:03:43,424 --> 00:03:46,284
- You wouldn't be sayin' this
if it was you and Daniel tryin' fer a baby

99
00:03:46,384 --> 00:03:47,684
- What are you talking about?

100
00:03:47,784 --> 00:03:49,913
- Oh come on, like you
'aven't fantasised about it!

101
00:03:50,013 --> 00:03:52,621
Check it, yeah, these two
are workin' a late shift

102
00:03:52,721 --> 00:03:55,061
Daniel smiles, Katie smiles back,

103
00:03:55,161 --> 00:03:58,503
next thing you know, she's playin'
hunt the salami on the meat counter.

104
00:03:58,603 --> 00:04:02,364
- (laughs) Katie ya dirty liddle minx!

105
00:04:02,464 --> 00:04:03,364
- 'Ave you got a minute?

106
00:04:03,464 --> 00:04:04,933
- Er, yeah, please

107
00:04:05,033 --> 00:04:06,101
- What's that about?

108
00:04:06,201 --> 00:04:09,324
- Oh nothin', Colin and
Lisa are tryin' for a baby

109
00:04:09,424 --> 00:04:11,101
Trust me, you don't
wanna know more than that

110
00:04:11,101 --> 00:04:12,645
- Oh I really don't, and just so you know,

111
00:04:12,645 --> 00:04:14,945
Valco will pay for any post
traumatic therapy needed

112
00:04:15,045 --> 00:04:16,748
- It's too late, it's already imprinted

113
00:04:16,848 --> 00:04:18,887
- So listen, head office
is sendin' somebody,

114
00:04:18,987 --> 00:04:21,707
they want to talk about some
charity food collection thing

115
00:04:21,807 --> 00:04:24,407
I'd take care of it but I got
to go to the Bolton branch

116
00:04:24,507 --> 00:04:26,607
- Okay, but head office
always sends someone

117
00:04:26,707 --> 00:04:30,647
so enthusiastic and annoying, who is it?

118
00:04:30,747 --> 00:04:33,207
- Hi-i! Katie, right?

119
00:04:33,307 --> 00:04:34,040
- Yeah

120
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:38,097
- Oh my God! (mwah) so nice
(mwah) to see you again!

121
00:04:38,197 --> 00:04:39,526
Hi, hello you

122
00:04:39,626 --> 00:04:40,977
- Hey

123
00:04:41,077 --> 00:04:42,516
(kiss)

124
00:04:42,616 --> 00:04:43,617
Umm

125
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:45,594
Right, thank you, see you later.

126
00:04:45,694 --> 00:04:46,527
- See ya

127
00:04:47,997 --> 00:04:51,147
Oooo, like I didn't know you had

128
00:04:51,247 --> 00:04:53,426
a little thing goin' on?

129
00:04:53,526 --> 00:04:55,407
- No, yeah, we go
together a few weeks back

130
00:04:55,507 --> 00:04:57,216
We're just both so relieved
because neither of us

131
00:04:57,216 --> 00:04:59,165
thought there was any talent at Valco.

132
00:04:59,265 --> 00:05:00,106
- Ha!

133
00:05:00,206 --> 00:05:03,417
- We went out last night,
that's why I look such a mess this mornin'

134
00:05:03,517 --> 00:05:05,135
- So what are you doing here again?

135
00:05:05,235 --> 00:05:06,393
- Well, I had this idea, right,

136
00:05:06,493 --> 00:05:08,348
where it came from I have no idea,

137
00:05:08,448 --> 00:05:10,356
I wish I did because I'd
have so many more of 'em

138
00:05:10,456 --> 00:05:11,455
(laughs)

139
00:05:11,555 --> 00:05:13,325
I had this idea that
head office just love,

140
00:05:13,325 --> 00:05:16,045
and they just wanna roll it out
across every store, how cool's that?

141
00:05:16,045 --> 00:05:17,257
- Oh yeah, that's great

142
00:05:17,357 --> 00:05:19,497
- C'mon, let's go for a
walk, I'll explain everything

143
00:05:19,597 --> 00:05:20,796
- They want elite security,

144
00:05:20,896 --> 00:05:23,865
but how am I supposed to function
on such a ridiculous diet?

145
00:05:23,965 --> 00:05:25,247
- It's an outrage!

146
00:05:25,347 --> 00:05:26,665
I mean, if I was a younger man,

147
00:05:26,765 --> 00:05:28,305
I'd do somethin' about it, but...

148
00:05:28,405 --> 00:05:30,257
- I've a good mind to do somethin'

149
00:05:30,357 --> 00:05:32,207
A devastating high impact protest

150
00:05:32,307 --> 00:05:33,885
to bring management to its knees!

151
00:05:33,985 --> 00:05:34,865
- A hunger strike

152
00:05:34,965 --> 00:05:35,865
- A hunger strike?

153
00:05:35,965 --> 00:05:37,297
- That's a great idea, Ian

154
00:05:37,397 --> 00:05:38,463
- I'm not so sure

155
00:05:38,563 --> 00:05:40,505
- Ian, I've seen that
look of determination

156
00:05:40,605 --> 00:05:42,916
on your face before

157
00:05:43,016 --> 00:05:45,737
- You're right, somebody
needs to take a stand

158
00:05:45,837 --> 00:05:48,177
and that somebody's gonna be me

159
00:05:48,277 --> 00:05:50,626
From this moment forward not
a single thing from Valco

160
00:05:50,626 --> 00:05:52,234
will pass these lips.

161
00:05:52,334 --> 00:05:55,184
Ohhhhh Uncle Roger's Cheesy Fingers!

162
00:05:55,284 --> 00:05:56,585
My favourite.

163
00:05:56,685 --> 00:05:58,487
- This reminds me of Twister,

164
00:05:58,587 --> 00:06:01,636
did you ever play Twister?
- Er, I do, yes, but (groan)

165
00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,917
only in the winter months,
in the summer you can often see more

166
00:06:03,917 --> 00:06:05,823
than you bargained for.

167
00:06:05,923 --> 00:06:07,316
- Suits ya down there, Gavin

168
00:06:07,416 --> 00:06:11,025
- Oh Duncan, I thought I
recognised those leather shoes

169
00:06:11,125 --> 00:06:13,217
- Made from real Italian stallion

170
00:06:13,317 --> 00:06:16,305
- No, they don't make shoes from horses
- 'Course they do

171
00:06:16,405 --> 00:06:18,257
Guess 'ow many pairs of shoes I own?

172
00:06:18,357 --> 00:06:19,190
- Five

173
00:06:20,145 --> 00:06:21,687
- 27

174
00:06:21,787 --> 00:06:23,204
27 pairs of shoes

175
00:06:25,405 --> 00:06:27,385
'Ow many shoes do you own?

176
00:06:27,485 --> 00:06:28,312
- Three.

177
00:06:28,412 --> 00:06:29,844
- Three pairs of shoes, is that it?

178
00:06:29,944 --> 00:06:31,425
- No, three individual shoes

179
00:06:31,525 --> 00:06:33,825
I lost one when I went swimming

180
00:06:33,925 --> 00:06:36,905
- Well, talkin' of shoes, what's
with the little footsteps?

181
00:06:37,005 --> 00:06:37,855
- They're not little

182
00:06:37,955 --> 00:06:39,393
- They're modelled on Gavin's feet

183
00:06:39,493 --> 00:06:41,385
(laughs)

184
00:06:41,485 --> 00:06:44,225
- Looks like a robin's been
walkin' through the snow

185
00:06:44,325 --> 00:06:47,884
- I didn't see you in my calendar, Duncan
otherwise I would have set an alarm

186
00:06:47,984 --> 00:06:50,895
- I thought I'd take a gander
at this healthy eating thing

187
00:06:50,995 --> 00:06:53,415
It's created a lot of
chatter at Pleasure Foods

188
00:06:53,515 --> 00:06:54,585
A lot of chatter

189
00:06:54,685 --> 00:06:56,375
- Yes well, we're all very pleased with it

190
00:06:56,475 --> 00:06:57,684
including our customers

191
00:06:57,784 --> 00:06:59,833
- Yeah, I'll bet

192
00:06:59,933 --> 00:07:02,564
Can't help noticin' you've not
included any Pleasure Foods

193
00:07:02,664 --> 00:07:04,333
- Yes well Pleasure
Foods is hardly a brand

194
00:07:04,333 --> 00:07:06,033
noted for its healthy products

195
00:07:06,133 --> 00:07:07,383
- Au contraire!

196
00:07:08,272 --> 00:07:10,015
Pleasure Foods Dinner Bar

197
00:07:10,115 --> 00:07:11,695
packed with natural ingredients

198
00:07:11,795 --> 00:07:13,284
- It's bright blue!

199
00:07:13,384 --> 00:07:14,804
- So's the sky

200
00:07:14,904 --> 00:07:16,545
- And how much sugar has it got in it, eh?

201
00:07:16,645 --> 00:07:17,945
20 grammes?

202
00:07:18,045 --> 00:07:20,045
- Nowhere near, 19 grammes

203
00:07:22,764 --> 00:07:24,884
- Can you believe what's
'appened to the canteen?

204
00:07:24,984 --> 00:07:26,962
I mean, what is the point of these?

205
00:07:27,062 --> 00:07:28,324
- I quite like rice cakes

206
00:07:28,424 --> 00:07:29,403
- Are you joking?

207
00:07:29,503 --> 00:07:31,396
It's like tryin' to eat a piece of cork

208
00:07:31,496 --> 00:07:33,204
- You 'ave to put summat on em, you know

209
00:07:33,304 --> 00:07:34,305
- Like what?

210
00:07:34,405 --> 00:07:36,572
- I dunno. Jam, chocolate?

211
00:07:37,742 --> 00:07:40,075
- I know what I'll put on it

212
00:07:41,768 --> 00:07:43,447
There. That's the best thing for it.

213
00:07:43,547 --> 00:07:45,636
(laughs)

214
00:07:45,736 --> 00:07:47,297
- So I was talkin' to this homeless guy

215
00:07:47,397 --> 00:07:50,516
He was one of the most
inspiration people I've ever met

216
00:07:50,616 --> 00:07:51,817
- Really?
- Yeah

217
00:07:51,917 --> 00:07:54,932
And he was saying how upsettin' it is,
knowin' how much food supermarkets are

218
00:07:54,932 --> 00:07:56,684
just, like, throwin' away.

219
00:07:56,784 --> 00:07:58,815
So I've organised for a charity

220
00:07:58,915 --> 00:08:00,734
to come and collect
all of the surplus food

221
00:08:00,734 --> 00:08:01,793
at the end of every day.

222
00:08:01,893 --> 00:08:03,044
- Oh that's good then, y'know.

223
00:08:03,144 --> 00:08:05,002
At least you're doing your bit.
- I know, right?

224
00:08:05,102 --> 00:08:07,114
So what sort of stuff do
you do for charity then?

225
00:08:07,214 --> 00:08:10,343
- Err well I... sponsor
my friend who did a 5k run

226
00:08:10,443 --> 00:08:12,193
- Oh that is so funny

227
00:08:13,161 --> 00:08:15,823
Actually, I'm tryin' to get Daniel
to do more charity work,

228
00:08:15,923 --> 00:08:17,444
but you know what 'e's like

229
00:08:17,544 --> 00:08:18,935
- I don't really know what 'e's like,

230
00:08:19,035 --> 00:08:20,415
em, outside of work

231
00:08:20,515 --> 00:08:23,644
- Oh he is so sweet, but he is so lazy

232
00:08:23,744 --> 00:08:26,575
I literally have to
like, drag him out of bed

233
00:08:26,675 --> 00:08:30,912
although when he's in my bed,
I do find I have to drag myself out

234
00:08:31,012 --> 00:08:32,774
We had so much fun last night

235
00:08:32,874 --> 00:08:35,113
Are you sure I don't look
a state, I 'ardly slept

236
00:08:35,213 --> 00:08:37,124
- Yep! Anyway, let's push on

237
00:08:37,224 --> 00:08:39,484
because I'm donating a kidney later!
(laughs)

238
00:08:39,584 --> 00:08:41,084
- You're hilarious

239
00:08:42,714 --> 00:08:44,064
- D'you know 'ow many
calories you burn off

240
00:08:44,064 --> 00:08:45,014
when you're shoppin'?

241
00:08:45,114 --> 00:08:45,847
- No

242
00:08:45,947 --> 00:08:48,423
- No one does mate, 'cos who cares
'Ere, 'ave a biscuit

243
00:08:48,523 --> 00:08:49,633
- Cheers
(laughs)

244
00:08:49,733 --> 00:08:53,552
- Sword of Omens! What
on earth are you doin'?

245
00:08:53,652 --> 00:08:55,111
What on earth are you doin'?

246
00:08:55,211 --> 00:08:57,772
- Just givin' people somethin' tastier
than your health food rubbish

247
00:08:57,772 --> 00:08:59,785
- Our healthy eating range is
both nutritious and delicious,

248
00:08:59,785 --> 00:09:03,404
and I like to feel that
we put the fun back into

249
00:09:03,504 --> 00:09:05,087
fun healthy eating.

250
00:09:05,935 --> 00:09:08,065
- If you really wanna know
what people really want,

251
00:09:08,065 --> 00:09:10,755
there's a quick, easy way to find out

252
00:09:10,855 --> 00:09:13,505
- Yeah, double blind trial
in association with trading standards

253
00:09:13,505 --> 00:09:15,035
- A taste test!

254
00:09:15,135 --> 00:09:17,802
In store, right here, right now.

255
00:09:20,124 --> 00:09:21,573
- I 'aven't got time for that kind of-

256
00:09:21,673 --> 00:09:25,205
- Bwork! (chicken sounds)

257
00:09:25,305 --> 00:09:27,138
Bock, bock, bockarock!

258
00:09:28,148 --> 00:09:29,613
Bwork!

259
00:09:29,713 --> 00:09:30,963
Bock bockarock!

260
00:09:32,313 --> 00:09:34,153
And that's a free range chicken, Gavin

261
00:09:34,253 --> 00:09:36,533
the most cowardly of all the chickens

262
00:09:36,633 --> 00:09:38,300
Boooorck, bock bock!

263
00:09:40,111 --> 00:09:42,531
- Alright, damn you, I'll do it!

264
00:09:42,631 --> 00:09:44,611
The taste test starts now

265
00:09:44,711 --> 00:09:46,560
Well, obviously not now, I need to get

266
00:09:46,660 --> 00:09:49,827
a hairnet and some antibacterial wipes

267
00:09:52,919 --> 00:09:54,549
- So that's when I was in India,

268
00:09:54,649 --> 00:09:56,560
you see that woman there?

269
00:09:56,660 --> 00:09:57,930
She had absolutely nothin'

270
00:09:58,030 --> 00:09:59,952
yet she was just constantly smilin'

271
00:10:00,052 --> 00:10:02,460
She was one of the most-
- Inspirational people you've ever met

272
00:10:02,460 --> 00:10:04,091
- Oh god yeah, how did you know?

273
00:10:04,191 --> 00:10:05,171
- Just a guess

274
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,093
- Katie, what is with this canteen?

275
00:10:07,193 --> 00:10:09,152
- It's part of Gavin's healthy eating plan

276
00:10:09,252 --> 00:10:10,882
- I need proper food, I'm 'avin a baby

277
00:10:10,982 --> 00:10:12,843
- Oh congratulations!

278
00:10:12,943 --> 00:10:14,221
- Oh cheers, love-leee

279
00:10:14,321 --> 00:10:17,213
- She's not actually pregnant
- Not yet, but we're tryin'

280
00:10:17,313 --> 00:10:20,250
Colin sez fatty foods
like chips help lubricate-

281
00:10:20,350 --> 00:10:22,183
- Just sit down and eat your salad, Lisa

282
00:10:22,283 --> 00:10:23,663
- Well it's out of order!

283
00:10:23,763 --> 00:10:25,711
Can't yer boyfriend do summat about it?

284
00:10:25,811 --> 00:10:27,143
- Who's your boyfriend then?

285
00:10:27,243 --> 00:10:28,751
- Daniel, 'e works 'ere

286
00:10:28,851 --> 00:10:31,391
- (laughs) no no no no no no no

287
00:10:31,491 --> 00:10:33,412
Not your Daniel, no, this is

288
00:10:33,512 --> 00:10:35,402
a completely different Daniel

289
00:10:35,502 --> 00:10:36,829
(laughs)

290
00:10:36,929 --> 00:10:40,263
Lisa, this is Holly, Daniel's girlfriend

291
00:10:40,363 --> 00:10:42,332
- So this other Daniel,
is he in today then?

292
00:10:42,432 --> 00:10:43,612
- Yeah
- No!

293
00:10:43,712 --> 00:10:44,711
- But 'e might be

294
00:10:44,811 --> 00:10:46,863
I 'aven't 'ad chance to
look at the latest rota

295
00:10:46,963 --> 00:10:50,131
The last one 'ad me workin' Saturdays

296
00:10:50,231 --> 00:10:52,862
Oh 'ang on, 'e is in, 'ere 'e comes now

297
00:10:52,962 --> 00:10:54,681
Hey, Daniel!

298
00:10:54,781 --> 00:10:55,889
- Yup

299
00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,411
- Holly, this is Daniel, Katie's boyfriend

300
00:10:58,511 --> 00:10:59,941
- How d'you mean, Katie's boyfriend?

301
00:10:59,941 --> 00:11:01,822
- Shhh!
- Owwwww! Why'd you do that?

302
00:11:01,922 --> 00:11:04,871
- So where did you two meet then, Daniel?
- We've got a lot to crack on with, Lisa

303
00:11:04,871 --> 00:11:07,102
- Come on then you two lovebirds,
where did you meet?

304
00:11:07,202 --> 00:11:08,721
- At Valco?

305
00:11:08,821 --> 00:11:10,611
- We met at the ice skate-
- Sex shop

306
00:11:10,711 --> 00:11:14,711
We met at the sex shop,
then we went ice skating

307
00:11:15,613 --> 00:11:17,201
- Awwww, tell 'im you luv 'im

308
00:11:17,301 --> 00:11:18,034
- Go on

309
00:11:18,134 --> 00:11:21,153
- Go on, tell 'im you luv 'im you cow

310
00:11:21,253 --> 00:11:23,281
- I'd really love to hear more about India

311
00:11:23,381 --> 00:11:24,233
up we get
- Byee!

312
00:11:24,333 --> 00:11:27,441
- See you later, then, I love you!

313
00:11:27,541 --> 00:11:29,609
(laughs)

314
00:11:29,709 --> 00:11:31,459
- Oh, we can 'ave so much fun with this

315
00:11:31,559 --> 00:11:32,759
- Yeah, like a threesome

316
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:33,790
- What?

317
00:11:33,890 --> 00:11:35,473
- Ow, don't do that

318
00:11:36,890 --> 00:11:38,539
- Mm, this one.

319
00:11:38,639 --> 00:11:39,839
- Get in!!

320
00:11:39,939 --> 00:11:42,150
So that's 20 for Fruit Bomb,

321
00:11:42,250 --> 00:11:44,801
Valco Greek Value Yoghurt, nil

322
00:11:44,901 --> 00:11:47,641
Sorry, let me just count that again,

323
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:48,574
yeah, nil!

324
00:11:49,581 --> 00:11:50,989
- You shouldn't be able
to call it a Fruit Bomb,

325
00:11:50,989 --> 00:11:52,430
it hasn't got any fruit in it.

326
00:11:52,530 --> 00:11:54,217
- It 'asn't got any bombs in it either,

327
00:11:54,317 --> 00:11:56,260
although a few of the
ingredients do cross over

328
00:11:56,260 --> 00:11:57,628
but look at the label, eh?

329
00:11:57,728 --> 00:11:59,539
100% taste!

330
00:11:59,639 --> 00:12:02,099
- Well everything has 100% taste

331
00:12:02,199 --> 00:12:03,859
- Eh, it's no wonder I'm winnin', look

332
00:12:03,959 --> 00:12:06,801
even your staff prefer my product

333
00:12:06,901 --> 00:12:08,761
You see, Gavin?

334
00:12:08,861 --> 00:12:12,028
I'm just givin' people what they want.

335
00:12:13,703 --> 00:12:15,422
- So, a charity van will arrive

336
00:12:15,522 --> 00:12:17,153
and collect all of this surplus food

337
00:12:17,253 --> 00:12:18,323
at the end of every day

338
00:12:18,423 --> 00:12:20,632
and all you have to do
is supervise everything

339
00:12:20,732 --> 00:12:22,942
It shouldn't take longer
than an hour or two

340
00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:24,243
- Great!

341
00:12:24,343 --> 00:12:25,851
- D'you know what I was thinking?

342
00:12:25,951 --> 00:12:27,971
We should go on a double date,

343
00:12:28,071 --> 00:12:30,302
You, me, and the two Daniels,

344
00:12:30,402 --> 00:12:32,633
the two Daniels, that
sounds like a film, dunnit?

345
00:12:32,733 --> 00:12:35,733
- Oh, God, I have missed you so much

346
00:12:38,103 --> 00:12:40,193
So are you excited for
our little date tonight?

347
00:12:40,193 --> 00:12:43,060
- Oooh, what've you got planned?
- Well, d'you know that Jamie Oliver

348
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:44,872
restaurant in Manchester?

349
00:12:44,972 --> 00:12:46,272
- Wow, yes

350
00:12:46,372 --> 00:12:49,742
- Well directly opposite that,
there's a wicked strip club called Bangers

351
00:12:49,842 --> 00:12:52,523
(laughs)

352
00:12:52,623 --> 00:12:53,763
- He's trickin'

353
00:12:53,863 --> 00:12:55,751
- She loves me to wind 'er up, don't ya?

354
00:12:55,851 --> 00:12:56,912
- What d'you want, "Daniel"?

355
00:12:57,012 --> 00:13:00,414
- What do I want? It's a good question.
D'you know that girl on the tills,

356
00:13:00,514 --> 00:13:01,951
what is her name?

357
00:13:02,051 --> 00:13:04,262
She's always on the tip of my tongue

358
00:13:04,362 --> 00:13:05,095
- Lisa

359
00:13:05,195 --> 00:13:06,992
- Lllll Lisa yeah that's it

360
00:13:07,092 --> 00:13:10,022
Well, I 'eard Lisa sayin' that
she needs next Saturday off

361
00:13:10,122 --> 00:13:11,934
so, like a family problem or somethin'

362
00:13:12,034 --> 00:13:13,053
- Awwww, bless 'er

363
00:13:13,153 --> 00:13:14,443
- She's not 'avin it off.

364
00:13:14,543 --> 00:13:18,432
- Woah, no, now, that is
not the Katie that I know

365
00:13:18,532 --> 00:13:21,980
So tell me, is everythin' all right?

366
00:13:22,080 --> 00:13:26,441
- (whispers) Fine, she can 'ave it off.
- She can 'ave it off! I love you so much

367
00:13:26,541 --> 00:13:28,963
From here....
- Oh look!

368
00:13:29,063 --> 00:13:30,072
- And here!

369
00:13:30,172 --> 00:13:32,174
- Yeah, I think I might leave you to it

370
00:13:32,274 --> 00:13:33,262
if that's al-
- Yeah

371
00:13:33,362 --> 00:13:35,103
- No, Daniel is just
goin', aren't you Daniel?

372
00:13:35,103 --> 00:13:37,141
- Not until I've 'ad a kiss!

373
00:13:37,241 --> 00:13:38,352
C'mon!

374
00:13:38,452 --> 00:13:40,323
- Can I 'ave a word please?

375
00:13:40,423 --> 00:13:41,256
Daniel?

376
00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:47,254
(crash)

377
00:13:47,354 --> 00:13:49,734
(crash)

378
00:13:49,834 --> 00:13:51,632
- Mmm, this one

379
00:13:51,732 --> 00:13:52,614
- Yes!

380
00:13:52,714 --> 00:13:54,214
69! Ha ha ha ha ha

381
00:13:55,383 --> 00:13:56,300
Ahem, right

382
00:13:57,302 --> 00:13:59,021
Well Mr Fruity Pants,

383
00:13:59,121 --> 00:14:00,374
you don't know everythin'

384
00:14:00,474 --> 00:14:02,483
- Well I know one thing
- Well I know lots of things

385
00:14:02,583 --> 00:14:05,354
- People want to be healthier and fitter
and I am leading by example

386
00:14:05,354 --> 00:14:07,134
- 'Ow are you leadin' by example?

387
00:14:07,234 --> 00:14:09,262
It's obvious who's
fitter out of you and me

388
00:14:09,362 --> 00:14:11,230
- I'll have you know
I cycle 17 miles a day

389
00:14:11,330 --> 00:14:14,500
unless there's a threat of black ice
- Well I ran a marathon last week

390
00:14:14,600 --> 00:14:17,832
and the only thing in this six pack
were a bowl of Cocoa Clusters

391
00:14:17,932 --> 00:14:19,142
- Yes, that is because it was

392
00:14:19,242 --> 00:14:20,672
full of sugar and E numbers

393
00:14:20,772 --> 00:14:22,791
- Helps keep me super fit!

394
00:14:22,891 --> 00:14:25,243
I bet you can't do 100
sit ups in two minutes

395
00:14:25,343 --> 00:14:26,974
- I bet you can't either

396
00:14:27,074 --> 00:14:27,907
- Try me!

397
00:14:30,714 --> 00:14:33,332
- You're supposed to be
makin' me pregnant, not Katie!

398
00:14:33,432 --> 00:14:35,475
- It's not my fault if she wants me,

399
00:14:35,575 --> 00:14:37,175
and in any case it was
you, Leese, that was all

400
00:14:37,175 --> 00:14:39,783
"Colin, can you pretend
to be 'er real boyfriend"

401
00:14:39,883 --> 00:14:41,304
I have to make it look real!

402
00:14:41,404 --> 00:14:42,803
- Yeah, but don't grope 'er!

403
00:14:42,903 --> 00:14:46,374
- Right, Leese, the only
girl I wanna grope, is you.

404
00:14:46,474 --> 00:14:47,624
- You're just sayin' that

405
00:14:47,724 --> 00:14:50,134
- I mean it, I wanna grope you

406
00:14:50,234 --> 00:14:52,384
for the rest of my life, alright?

407
00:14:52,484 --> 00:14:54,915
I'll never find anyone as filthy as you.

408
00:14:55,015 --> 00:14:58,454
- D'you really mean that?
- Of course I do Leese, of course I do

409
00:14:58,554 --> 00:14:59,683
Ooh, guess what?

410
00:14:59,783 --> 00:15:00,638
- What?

411
00:15:00,738 --> 00:15:01,471
- Guess!

412
00:15:01,571 --> 00:15:02,304
- What?

413
00:15:02,404 --> 00:15:03,347
- Right, Katie said

414
00:15:03,447 --> 00:15:06,568
you can have next Saturday off!

415
00:15:06,668 --> 00:15:09,466
- Oh my God, so we can spend
the day tryin' fer a baby?

416
00:15:09,566 --> 00:15:13,149
- We're gonna need to
get some extra sheets

417
00:15:13,987 --> 00:15:16,059
(alarm goes off)

418
00:15:16,159 --> 00:15:18,347
- Fertilise me, Col!
- Yep

419
00:15:18,447 --> 00:15:20,030
Get on me!
- Right!

420
00:15:21,087 --> 00:15:22,270
(passionate groans)

421
00:15:22,370 --> 00:15:23,780
- Get these off!
- They're comin' off!

422
00:15:23,780 --> 00:15:25,799
Take them off with yer mouth
Take them off with yer mouth

423
00:15:25,799 --> 00:15:27,660
- I can't, I can't get-
- But it's really sexy when you do that

424
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,660
(crash)

425
00:15:32,591 --> 00:15:33,840
- (chorus) One!

426
00:15:33,940 --> 00:15:34,773
Two!

427
00:15:36,199 --> 00:15:37,509
Three!

428
00:15:37,609 --> 00:15:39,490
- D'you know what I can
see in your eyes, Gavin?

429
00:15:39,490 --> 00:15:43,491
A scared little robin whose nest
is about to be torn from the tree

430
00:15:43,591 --> 00:15:44,324
- (chorus) Seven!

431
00:15:44,424 --> 00:15:46,431
- Yes, well that just shows you know
absolutely nothing about robins

432
00:15:46,431 --> 00:15:50,520
They happen to be territorial birds
who nest in hedgerows and not trees

433
00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:51,779
- (chorus) Ten!

434
00:15:51,879 --> 00:15:53,240
Eleven!

435
00:15:53,340 --> 00:15:54,611
Twelve!

436
00:15:54,711 --> 00:15:55,544
Thirteen!

437
00:15:56,591 --> 00:15:59,239
- Oh hi ya Janice, he he he

438
00:15:59,339 --> 00:16:00,700
Twelve!

439
00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:02,342
- Ah but you've said 12 already

440
00:16:02,442 --> 00:16:03,175
- Oh did I?

441
00:16:03,275 --> 00:16:05,600
Oh now I've lost me count

442
00:16:05,700 --> 00:16:07,531
Twelve, thirteen!

443
00:16:07,631 --> 00:16:09,990
- Don't go back to 12 again

444
00:16:10,090 --> 00:16:13,302
- D'you know, that new canteen's
made me really think what I should eat

445
00:16:13,402 --> 00:16:15,310
Might try a new diet

446
00:16:15,410 --> 00:16:16,708
- You don't need to go on a diet,

447
00:16:16,708 --> 00:16:18,679
you look gorgeous Linda,
you've never looked better

448
00:16:18,679 --> 00:16:21,480
in all the time I've known you
- Awwww, that's sweet

449
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:24,913
- Your turn, say something nice about me

450
00:16:30,420 --> 00:16:32,230
- Is that a new name badge?

451
00:16:32,330 --> 00:16:34,830
- Oh!
(laughs)

452
00:16:35,770 --> 00:16:37,650
- [Shai] Ninety-seven!
- Are you feelin' the burn yet, Gavin?

453
00:16:37,650 --> 00:16:39,288
- Ninety-eight, ninety-nine

454
00:16:39,388 --> 00:16:40,440
- The burn of defeat?

455
00:16:40,540 --> 00:16:41,978
- The only burn I'm feeling is from

456
00:16:42,078 --> 00:16:45,590
the slow release of healthy calories
from a sensible balanced diet

457
00:16:45,690 --> 00:16:48,179
- Your ears have gone bright red

458
00:16:48,279 --> 00:16:50,169
like a coupla robin's tits

459
00:16:50,269 --> 00:16:52,051
- Ooo Gavin, 'e's right

460
00:16:52,151 --> 00:16:53,990
- What will Cheryl say, eh?

461
00:16:54,090 --> 00:16:56,423
When you lose? Bye bye Gavin

462
00:16:57,528 --> 00:16:59,259
See you never

463
00:16:59,359 --> 00:17:00,851
- Ooo Gavin, you alright?

464
00:17:00,951 --> 00:17:02,617
- [Shai] Hundred and ten...
- Owwwww

465
00:17:03,580 --> 00:17:05,997
- Yes! Welcome to Loserville,

466
00:17:07,191 --> 00:17:08,608
population, Gavin

467
00:17:09,831 --> 00:17:10,664
- Arggggh

468
00:17:12,618 --> 00:17:14,519
(crash)

469
00:17:14,619 --> 00:17:17,536
(squeal of wheels)

470
00:17:18,690 --> 00:17:21,109
- Oh. How's the hunger strike goin'?

471
00:17:21,209 --> 00:17:24,840
- There's no easy way to say this,
so I'm just gonna come out with it.

472
00:17:24,940 --> 00:17:26,788
I've done a terrible thing.

473
00:17:26,888 --> 00:17:29,879
- You 'aven't killed a man with a single
flick of yer mighty wrist, 'ave you?

474
00:17:29,879 --> 00:17:31,177
- No, not yet

475
00:17:31,277 --> 00:17:33,058
I've let down a young kid

476
00:17:33,158 --> 00:17:36,539
who believes in me and looks up to me

477
00:17:36,639 --> 00:17:37,556
- What, me?

478
00:17:38,498 --> 00:17:40,430
- About 10 minutes ago I went on my break

479
00:17:40,530 --> 00:17:42,379
God this is so hard

480
00:17:42,479 --> 00:17:44,190
I was weak, and I couldn't think straight,

481
00:17:44,290 --> 00:17:47,477
and I ate one of your Uncle
Roger's Cheesy Fingers.

482
00:17:47,577 --> 00:17:50,828
I say one, it was actually the whole bag.

483
00:17:50,928 --> 00:17:54,299
I've let you down, 'Arry,
and for that I'm truly sorry

484
00:17:54,399 --> 00:17:58,110
- Oh don't worry mate, I never
thought you'd do it anyway

485
00:17:58,210 --> 00:18:00,043
- Oh I see, very sweet

486
00:18:01,959 --> 00:18:03,808
You're tryin' to make me feel better

487
00:18:03,908 --> 00:18:06,096
by pretendin' you don't look up to me

488
00:18:06,196 --> 00:18:07,659
- I don't, not in the least

489
00:18:07,759 --> 00:18:09,598
- Course you don't,

490
00:18:09,698 --> 00:18:13,259
you're a good kid, d'you know that?

491
00:18:13,359 --> 00:18:17,026
- I literally have no
respect for you at all

492
00:18:26,050 --> 00:18:27,097
- Booo!
- Ahhhhhh!

493
00:18:27,197 --> 00:18:29,280
(laughs)

494
00:18:30,148 --> 00:18:32,608
- Well, today has been fun

495
00:18:32,708 --> 00:18:33,898
- D'you mind seeing yourself out,

496
00:18:33,898 --> 00:18:35,810
'cos I've got some paperwork
I gotta finish, so...

497
00:18:35,810 --> 00:18:39,477
- Katie, I really need
to tell you somethin'

498
00:18:40,359 --> 00:18:42,687
- That I'm the most inspirational
person you ever met?

499
00:18:42,787 --> 00:18:44,928
(laughs)

500
00:18:45,028 --> 00:18:45,761
- What is it?

501
00:18:45,861 --> 00:18:47,939
- I saw your Daniel earlier

502
00:18:48,039 --> 00:18:51,289
kissin' Lisa, like, really kissin' Lisa

503
00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:53,231
- Oh my God!

504
00:18:54,888 --> 00:18:56,018
What an idiot!

505
00:18:56,118 --> 00:18:58,798
- I decided to go over and say something
but that's when I realised,

506
00:18:58,798 --> 00:19:01,798
his name badge actually says "Colin"

507
00:19:03,210 --> 00:19:07,377
- (laughs) No, that's
just his sense of humour

508
00:19:09,249 --> 00:19:10,666
He's a proper div

509
00:19:12,150 --> 00:19:14,567
He is such an idiot, honestly

510
00:19:15,431 --> 00:19:18,019
I cannot wait to finish with him

511
00:19:18,119 --> 00:19:19,918
- He's not really called Daniel, is he?

512
00:19:20,018 --> 00:19:20,751
- What?

513
00:19:20,851 --> 00:19:22,400
- No, 'cos there's only one Daniel

514
00:19:22,500 --> 00:19:24,670
and that's my Daniel

515
00:19:24,770 --> 00:19:26,931
- Hey!
- Hey, hey hey Daniel!

516
00:19:27,031 --> 00:19:27,811
- How'd you get on?

517
00:19:27,911 --> 00:19:31,862
- Yeah, I think we managed to get
to the bottom of things, didn't we Katie?

518
00:19:31,962 --> 00:19:33,123
- Yeah

519
00:19:33,223 --> 00:19:34,654
Yeah, we really did

520
00:19:34,754 --> 00:19:37,087
We had a real good day today

521
00:19:38,084 --> 00:19:42,115
Anyway, I'd better go 'cos I've got
some paperwork I have to finish, so

522
00:19:42,215 --> 00:19:43,048
See you

523
00:19:46,463 --> 00:19:49,235
- Katie's a laugh, isn't she?
- Yeah

524
00:19:49,335 --> 00:19:51,995
- I'm glad you two got the
chance to get to know each other

525
00:19:52,095 --> 00:19:54,174
- Yeah, we got to know each other

526
00:19:54,274 --> 00:19:55,191
really well

527
00:20:02,834 --> 00:20:06,584
- (sigh) Maybe these
weren't such a good idea

528
00:20:06,684 --> 00:20:08,434
- You're feeling a bit
down, aren't you Gavin?

529
00:20:08,434 --> 00:20:10,133
- Well I am, a little, yes

530
00:20:10,233 --> 00:20:12,443
- Probably because Duncan
beat you in the taste test

531
00:20:12,543 --> 00:20:15,483
and turned out to be fitter, stronger
and generally better than you

532
00:20:15,583 --> 00:20:17,173
- Yes, that's probably why

533
00:20:17,273 --> 00:20:19,606
- Are we gonna give up then?

534
00:20:21,471 --> 00:20:22,304
- No

535
00:20:25,491 --> 00:20:28,054
We need to think bigger

536
00:20:28,154 --> 00:20:29,863
- Probably wouldn't be hard,
they're like a size three

537
00:20:29,863 --> 00:20:31,863
- Not bigger footprints,

538
00:20:32,983 --> 00:20:35,734
but a bigger healthy eating campaign

539
00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:38,534
I'm going to pull out all the stops

540
00:20:38,634 --> 00:20:41,099
As God is my witness, I am not gonna

541
00:20:41,199 --> 00:20:43,782
let Duncan Trench beat me again

542
00:20:48,341 --> 00:20:49,955
- He probably will, though

543
00:20:50,055 --> 00:20:52,472
That's what people are saying

544
00:21:00,126 --> 00:21:02,876
- Boots!
(laughs)

545
00:21:07,585 --> 00:21:09,668
(crunch)

546
00:21:10,925 --> 00:21:13,508
(theme music)