1 00:00:00,660 --> 00:00:03,263 -Valco! -Serves you right. 2 00:00:03,363 --> 00:00:05,362 -I've prepared something. -It's OK! 3 00:00:05,462 --> 00:00:08,692 -Can she just stop that? -Don't forget our brilliant... 4 00:00:08,792 --> 00:00:11,131 -From booze to biscuits! -Red-hot deals. 5 00:00:11,231 --> 00:00:14,560 -Loads of two-for-ones.-The finest butchers, the freshest meat. 6 00:00:14,660 --> 00:00:16,395 I love the Valco tick! (GIGGLES) 7 00:00:16,495 --> 00:00:18,428 Service with a smile. 8 00:00:18,528 --> 00:00:20,395 Friendly staff always happy to help. 9 00:00:20,495 --> 00:00:22,428 -Am I getting paid for this? -Tick! 10 00:00:22,528 --> 00:00:23,626 Serves you right! 11 00:00:23,726 --> 00:00:25,263 Don't forget the Valco tick. 12 00:00:25,363 --> 00:00:26,428 Check that. 13 00:00:26,528 --> 00:00:29,066 Valco, serves you right! 14 00:00:33,066 --> 00:00:35,033 Purple Rain! 15 00:00:36,330 --> 00:00:38,131 It's incredible! 16 00:00:38,231 --> 00:00:41,263 I know! I can't believe it either. The green... 17 00:00:41,363 --> 00:00:43,900 Just slightly darker. 18 00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:45,428 Exactly! 19 00:00:45,528 --> 00:00:47,065 Oh, well... 20 00:00:47,165 --> 00:00:49,461 I suppose we'd better go and give the fans 21 00:00:49,561 --> 00:00:51,164 what they've been waiting for. 22 00:00:51,264 --> 00:00:52,900 Give me a G, give me an A, 23 00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:56,230 give me a V, give me an I, give me an N! 24 00:00:56,330 --> 00:00:57,933 Gavin! 25 00:00:58,033 --> 00:01:01,593 Whoo! Yeah! Aaah! 26 00:01:01,693 --> 00:01:04,230 Sorry, can you just slow down a bit, please? Thank you. 27 00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:07,933 Happy New Uniform Day, everyone! 28 00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:10,362 Are we excited? 29 00:01:10,462 --> 00:01:12,494 -No. -Please stop talking, Gavin. 30 00:01:12,594 --> 00:01:14,330 Whoo! 31 00:01:15,264 --> 00:01:18,329 Now, I appreciate that it's a little bit different, 32 00:01:18,429 --> 00:01:20,692 and some of you may need time to adjust. 33 00:01:20,792 --> 00:01:22,692 -You freaking out a bit, Gav? -No! 34 00:01:22,792 --> 00:01:24,659 Have they changed the green, Gavin? 35 00:01:24,759 --> 00:01:28,626 Maybe a bit, but I think it looks really snazzy! 36 00:01:28,726 --> 00:01:32,494 So without further ado, I'd like you all to come up one by one 37 00:01:32,594 --> 00:01:35,032 to collect yours. And first up is Margaret. 38 00:01:35,132 --> 00:01:38,296 Oh, me? Oh, my goodness! 39 00:01:38,396 --> 00:01:40,461 But I've got nothing prepared. 40 00:01:40,561 --> 00:01:44,065 So what's your size, Margaret? 41 00:01:44,165 --> 00:01:46,263 Oh! Ow! 42 00:01:46,363 --> 00:01:49,593 I'm a 38 double-E, if you must know. 43 00:01:49,693 --> 00:01:52,032 And my Alan likes me to wear a smaller size 44 00:01:52,132 --> 00:01:55,593 -because he says it pushes...-It's just medium, large or extra-large, Margaret. 45 00:01:55,693 --> 00:01:58,263 Oh? Oh, I'll have a medium. 46 00:01:58,363 --> 00:02:02,131 Just there. No, don't do it here, Margaret! 47 00:02:02,231 --> 00:02:04,594 Why don't you take yourself off to the locker room? 48 00:02:06,231 --> 00:02:08,230 Is that a new suit then, Gavin? 49 00:02:08,330 --> 00:02:10,933 No, this isn't a uniform, Shai. My suits are my own. 50 00:02:11,033 --> 00:02:13,197 So that's what people meant when they said you had bad taste. 51 00:02:13,297 --> 00:02:17,098 -What?-Yeah. Most people can't believe Cheryl's with a guy like you. 52 00:02:17,198 --> 00:02:19,329 But then some women do like men way below their league. 53 00:02:19,429 --> 00:02:23,197 -What?!-Way, way below. You must worry about holding on to her. 54 00:02:23,297 --> 00:02:25,900 I've got a lot to do, Shai.There's a new security guard starting, so I've... 55 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:28,900 -Especially withthe wedding coming up. -Shai, why don't you just fu... 56 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,999 Were you going to say the F-word? 57 00:02:32,099 --> 00:02:33,428 Cos it sounded like you were. 58 00:02:33,528 --> 00:02:36,230 Ooh! Forty degrees. Look at that. 59 00:02:36,330 --> 00:02:38,032 Whaa! 60 00:02:38,132 --> 00:02:40,593 Arm behind the back, kick both legs out and you're mine. 61 00:02:40,693 --> 00:02:42,197 Too easy. 62 00:02:42,297 --> 00:02:45,098 Donna Calabresi, elite security consultant. 63 00:02:45,198 --> 00:02:47,560 Pleasure to meet you, Mr Strong. 64 00:02:47,660 --> 00:02:49,329 -Call me Gavin. -I'd rather not. 65 00:02:49,429 --> 00:02:52,098 -Blurs boundaries. -Er, right... 66 00:02:52,198 --> 00:02:56,230 Well, I'm sorry, I didn'trealise that you'd come up to the office already. 67 00:02:56,330 --> 00:02:58,032 No. Nobody did, Gavin. 68 00:02:58,132 --> 00:03:01,164 I walked right through, unimpeded. Could've been anyone. 69 00:03:01,264 --> 00:03:04,296 Yeah, except you've got the keyfob and the security codes that we sent you. 70 00:03:04,396 --> 00:03:06,032 Didn't need them. Well, the key fob I did. 71 00:03:06,132 --> 00:03:08,032 I forgot the code, so I kicked the door in. 72 00:03:08,132 --> 00:03:09,626 -It was easy. -Right. 73 00:03:09,726 --> 00:03:12,164 Would you care to take a seat? 74 00:03:12,264 --> 00:03:15,065 No, thanks. Once I've started my shift I keep standing. 75 00:03:15,165 --> 00:03:18,527 More alert. Even through lunch or on the crapper. 76 00:03:18,627 --> 00:03:22,329 -Plus sitting can kill you.It's a well-known fact. -I don't think it can. 77 00:03:22,429 --> 00:03:25,296 I first start with a full sweep of the compound, Mr Strong. 78 00:03:25,396 --> 00:03:27,626 -I'll give you a full reportby the end of the day. -OK, well, you know... 79 00:03:27,726 --> 00:03:30,461 it's really just shoplifters you'll need to worry about. 80 00:03:30,561 --> 00:03:32,362 -They're mostlyjust school kids... -Bastards. 81 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:34,933 -Pardon? -Kids. 82 00:03:35,033 --> 00:03:38,296 Won't take the piss out of me, Mr Strong, not anymore. 83 00:03:38,396 --> 00:03:39,999 Right... 84 00:03:40,099 --> 00:03:42,395 Anyway, I'll get going. 85 00:03:42,495 --> 00:03:44,900 I don't like to stay inone room for too long, not even on the crapper. 86 00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,065 -Could you pleasestop saying that? -Yeah, not a problem. 87 00:03:47,165 --> 00:03:50,900 Not a problem. You see, you can count on me, Gavin. 88 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:53,999 Cos I'm a professional, an elite professionalism. 89 00:03:54,099 --> 00:03:56,593 -Super.-Oh, and I will be needing a new key fob 90 00:03:56,693 --> 00:03:59,033 and the security codes as well. 91 00:04:00,759 --> 00:04:03,626 Do you know what?I'm a size 8 in this. Must be all that gym work. 92 00:04:03,726 --> 00:04:05,527 -An 8? Are you shite! -Yeah, I am. 93 00:04:05,627 --> 00:04:07,296 -Let me have a look. -No. 94 00:04:07,396 --> 00:04:09,593 -You've cut the label out! -Yeah, cos it scratches. 95 00:04:09,693 --> 00:04:13,032 -You're a lying cow, Linda! -(LAUGHTER) 96 00:04:13,132 --> 00:04:16,560 Delivery for "Neville's number one gal". 97 00:04:16,660 --> 00:04:19,164 -Oh, my God. Yeah, that's me. -What the hell? 98 00:04:19,264 --> 00:04:20,627 Thanks. 99 00:04:22,660 --> 00:04:25,999 -Tah-dah! -Doves? Are you stupid? 100 00:04:26,099 --> 00:04:29,626 One for each heavenly yeartogether. Nothing else could rival your beauty, Linda. 101 00:04:29,726 --> 00:04:32,032 Just look at the plumage on... 102 00:04:32,132 --> 00:04:33,966 -(LINDA SCREAMS) -Drat. 103 00:04:34,066 --> 00:04:35,626 -You're such an idiot! -Oh, double drat. 104 00:04:35,726 --> 00:04:37,626 Oh, God! 105 00:04:37,726 --> 00:04:40,966 Oh, no! Oh, come on! 106 00:04:41,066 --> 00:04:44,329 Three years. Oh, love, I'm so sorry. 107 00:04:44,429 --> 00:04:46,395 I...I had no idea. 108 00:04:46,495 --> 00:04:48,362 -It's OK. You weren't to know. -You shouldn't be here. 109 00:04:48,462 --> 00:04:50,659 You should be at home with your family or a close friend. 110 00:04:50,759 --> 00:04:53,197 No, I want to keep busy. 111 00:04:53,297 --> 00:04:56,329 Come on! Come on! Oh! 112 00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:59,131 It was only supposed to be a Christmas kiss! 113 00:04:59,231 --> 00:05:01,264 I know, love, I know! 114 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,296 Just past the mouthwash and the electric toothbrushes. 115 00:05:06,396 --> 00:05:08,527 -Guess who? -Cheryl Fairweather. 116 00:05:08,627 --> 00:05:10,999 Oh, Gavin, it's supposed to be a game! 117 00:05:11,099 --> 00:05:12,428 Oh, sorry, sorry. Do it again? 118 00:05:12,528 --> 00:05:13,933 -No... -Oh, go on! 119 00:05:14,033 --> 00:05:16,263 Oh, alright then. Guess who? 120 00:05:16,363 --> 00:05:18,999 Oh, I can't think of anybody funny. I'm sorry. 121 00:05:19,099 --> 00:05:22,560 And how is my area manager and regional fianc\e? 122 00:05:22,660 --> 00:05:26,659 Amazing. In Wigan for a hire, Witness for a fire. 123 00:05:26,759 --> 00:05:29,527 -(BOTH) Rhyme!-Then I heard that Brendan was coming to Warrington. 124 00:05:29,627 --> 00:05:32,098 -Brendan O'Connor coming here? -Yes! 125 00:05:32,198 --> 00:05:34,966 -Flying without wings! Why?-(Irish accent) Because I feckin' own the place, Gavin! 126 00:05:35,066 --> 00:05:38,933 That is uncanny. So, Heather,can you do an emergency spruce up of the front entrance? 127 00:05:39,033 --> 00:05:41,395 -The big cheese is on his way. -Right. I'll let the deli know. 128 00:05:41,495 --> 00:05:43,197 -Sorry? -About the big cheese. 129 00:05:43,297 --> 00:05:46,527 It's just an expression, Heather. It means "the boss". 130 00:05:46,627 --> 00:05:50,495 -Oh? -(LAUGHTER) 131 00:05:55,066 --> 00:05:57,429 I'll get on it straight away, sir. 132 00:05:58,627 --> 00:06:01,395 (attempts Irish accent) She's not the full shilling that one. 133 00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:03,933 -That's gone sort of Welsh. -What about this? 134 00:06:04,033 --> 00:06:05,659 -That's more Indian? -What about that now? 135 00:06:05,759 --> 00:06:08,197 -That's Scottish.-Why aye, pet, how does that sound? 136 00:06:08,297 --> 00:06:10,659 -Geordie, North-East, clearly.-I can't do it anymore. I had it and it's gone. 137 00:06:10,759 --> 00:06:12,131 Now, come on, look... 138 00:06:12,231 --> 00:06:14,726 (DOVES FLUTTERING) 139 00:06:17,561 --> 00:06:20,494 New tunic's got epaulets! 140 00:06:20,594 --> 00:06:23,395 Ooh, it's like you're in the army. (LAUGHS) 141 00:06:23,495 --> 00:06:27,098 Well, I am in a way - the science army. 142 00:06:27,198 --> 00:06:31,362 Bombing infections with chemical weapons of mass prescription. 143 00:06:31,462 --> 00:06:33,692 Peacekeeping with local bacteria, 144 00:06:33,792 --> 00:06:36,527 who don't speak much English and... 145 00:06:36,627 --> 00:06:38,560 Well, anyway... 146 00:06:38,660 --> 00:06:41,527 You haven't forgotten about tonight, have you? 147 00:06:41,627 --> 00:06:45,263 Dinner? Ooh, no. No, not forgotten. 148 00:06:45,363 --> 00:06:47,900 Oh, we're right looking forward to having you both round. 149 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,966 It'll be nice to finally meet Alan. 150 00:06:50,066 --> 00:06:51,692 And your wife the doctor! 151 00:06:51,792 --> 00:06:53,692 Oh, it's going to be so much fun. 152 00:06:53,792 --> 00:06:56,131 There'll just the four of us. 153 00:06:56,231 --> 00:07:00,362 I did mention that me and Alan are swingers, didn't I? 154 00:07:00,462 --> 00:07:02,428 Do you mean swingers, Margaret? 155 00:07:02,528 --> 00:07:05,428 Oh, yeah. Yeah, we often have another couple around 156 00:07:05,528 --> 00:07:08,329 -so we can share partners. -OK, go on. 157 00:07:08,429 --> 00:07:11,527 Well, sometimes whole parties,where we all have a go with each other. 158 00:07:11,627 --> 00:07:14,032 It can get quite sweaty sometimes, 159 00:07:14,132 --> 00:07:15,494 you know, the different moves. 160 00:07:15,594 --> 00:07:17,527 OK, Margaret, enough. 161 00:07:17,627 --> 00:07:21,560 Please tell me you know what swingers' parties are? 162 00:07:21,660 --> 00:07:24,626 Of course, I do. Swinging '60s! 163 00:07:24,726 --> 00:07:28,428 Beatles, Lulu, Cilla... (LAUGHS) 164 00:07:28,528 --> 00:07:31,428 Oh, and the food at these parties! 165 00:07:31,528 --> 00:07:35,263 One week, we even got involved in a spit roast! 166 00:07:35,363 --> 00:07:37,263 (SHE LAUGHS) 167 00:07:37,363 --> 00:07:39,099 How can I help? 168 00:07:41,528 --> 00:07:43,197 You look great. 169 00:07:43,297 --> 00:07:45,032 -(HE GROWLS) -Ooh! 170 00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,230 Gavin! 171 00:07:46,330 --> 00:07:48,362 Mr O'Connor. What an honour. 172 00:07:48,462 --> 00:07:50,428 -Rhyme! -(THEY LAUGH) 173 00:07:50,528 --> 00:07:52,362 To what do we owe the pleasure? 174 00:07:52,462 --> 00:07:54,626 You've come to see the new uniforms, I presume? 175 00:07:54,726 --> 00:07:58,428 Gavin, do I look like a manwho gives a shite about new uniforms? Do I?! 176 00:07:58,528 --> 00:08:01,230 -No. -Well, I do. 177 00:08:01,330 --> 00:08:03,098 They need to get you a better suit for starters. 178 00:08:03,198 --> 00:08:05,197 -Well, this is my own. -Jesus! 179 00:08:05,297 --> 00:08:07,197 -Told you. -Thank you, Shai. 180 00:08:07,297 --> 00:08:10,527 -You remembermy fianc\e, Cheryl? -Fianc\e? 181 00:08:10,627 --> 00:08:12,900 How did you manage that, Gavin? 182 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,230 -Hung like a racehorse. -Is that right, Gavin? 183 00:08:15,330 --> 00:08:19,231 -Definitely not, sir.-Well, I'll be the judge of that. Ah! 184 00:08:21,132 --> 00:08:23,900 Oh, that's very good, Gavin. Yeah. 185 00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:27,659 It's a bit thin, lots of weight though. Huh? 186 00:08:27,759 --> 00:08:31,263 Right, I need to talk to you, Gavin. I need your help. 187 00:08:31,363 --> 00:08:33,461 Of course, sir. What with? 188 00:08:33,561 --> 00:08:35,900 It's very private, Gavin! 189 00:08:36,000 --> 00:08:38,230 It's very private and very personal! 190 00:08:38,330 --> 00:08:40,428 Right. Perhaps you should come to my office then. 191 00:08:40,528 --> 00:08:43,131 Perfect. Cos I warn you, Gavin, 192 00:08:43,231 --> 00:08:46,462 I'm gonna do some crying. A lot of it! 193 00:08:49,396 --> 00:08:50,792 Gavin! 194 00:08:52,495 --> 00:08:55,197 Well, I've still got two, 195 00:08:55,297 --> 00:08:58,560 but that third sure is a slippery critter. 196 00:08:58,660 --> 00:09:02,362 And whoever knew the bird of peace could be so violent? 197 00:09:02,462 --> 00:09:04,966 Still, all in the name of love. 198 00:09:05,066 --> 00:09:06,659 Eh, Colin? 199 00:09:06,759 --> 00:09:08,659 Isn't it the sweetest thing in the world? 200 00:09:08,759 --> 00:09:10,933 I'm trying to sleep here, Neville! 201 00:09:11,033 --> 00:09:13,428 D'you know how many hourskip I got last night because of the baby? 202 00:09:13,528 --> 00:09:16,032 -Yes, you did say. -Nine and a half hours. 203 00:09:16,132 --> 00:09:19,966 It's ridicu... Me and Lisahad to shag lying down, we were so knackered. 204 00:09:20,066 --> 00:09:22,098 I do apologise. Go back to sleep. 205 00:09:22,198 --> 00:09:24,197 I will continue working your station. 206 00:09:24,297 --> 00:09:26,461 -I'm already awake now, Neville! -I was just saying... 207 00:09:26,561 --> 00:09:29,692 Three glorious years, three years of happiness 208 00:09:29,792 --> 00:09:32,263 because of one amazing woman. 209 00:09:32,363 --> 00:09:35,428 I've been saved, by a woman. 210 00:09:35,528 --> 00:09:38,933 Yeah, I have, I have been saved. 211 00:09:39,033 --> 00:09:41,164 -Right, yes. -Ooh! 212 00:09:41,264 --> 00:09:43,197 There's my baby! 213 00:09:43,297 --> 00:09:46,164 Hello, baby! Hello, baby. 214 00:09:46,264 --> 00:09:48,230 Did you decide on a name in the end? 215 00:09:48,330 --> 00:09:50,560 Baby. Just made so much sense. 216 00:09:50,660 --> 00:09:53,593 -Yeah, we just kept forgettingthe others, didn't we? -Delightful. 217 00:09:53,693 --> 00:09:55,626 You look well, Lisa. How's life as a mum? 218 00:09:55,726 --> 00:09:59,131 Fine. They just sort of look after themselves, don't they? 219 00:09:59,231 --> 00:10:01,999 -Yeah.-Oh, I remember that age like it was yesterday. 220 00:10:02,099 --> 00:10:05,626 Me and Vanessa driving Chloearound in the car to get her to sleep. 221 00:10:05,726 --> 00:10:09,428 Stopping at Mike's. Picking up Vanessa in the morning... 222 00:10:09,528 --> 00:10:13,692 Who's a boring man? Neville's a boring man! I know! 223 00:10:13,792 --> 00:10:16,395 -At least you're spendingsome quality time as a couple. -Yeah. 224 00:10:16,495 --> 00:10:19,329 Colin put in a bit of quality time down there this morning. 225 00:10:19,429 --> 00:10:22,230 -Oh, yeah, man.I was like a dog with a boner. -Oh, right. 226 00:10:22,330 --> 00:10:24,230 It was like bobbing for apples at a fun fair. 227 00:10:24,330 --> 00:10:26,527 -Gosh. -You just turn me on so much. 228 00:10:26,627 --> 00:10:29,032 Shall I take baby? I think... 229 00:10:29,132 --> 00:10:32,296 Shall we go and look at the doves? That's it. 230 00:10:32,396 --> 00:10:36,759 That's it, baby. Let's look at the doves. Look at that. 231 00:10:39,429 --> 00:10:42,065 -She's leaving me, Gavin. -Oh, dear. 232 00:10:42,165 --> 00:10:45,461 -Mrs O'Connor, I presume? -Yes. 233 00:10:45,561 --> 00:10:49,032 -Brenda. She's leaving me.-Is your wife called Brenda, Brendan? 234 00:10:49,132 --> 00:10:52,428 -Yes. Why? -No reason. 235 00:10:52,528 --> 00:10:55,395 Said she can't take any more of my mood swings. 236 00:10:55,495 --> 00:10:58,428 My fucking mood swings, Gavin!! Huh? 237 00:10:58,528 --> 00:11:01,230 Well, that seems very unreasonable. 238 00:11:01,330 --> 00:11:03,900 Well, exactly. That's why I came to you, you see. 239 00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:07,329 Because if a man like you can get a woman like Cheryl, 240 00:11:07,429 --> 00:11:09,593 -you must have a way with women. -Er... 241 00:11:09,693 --> 00:11:12,362 I mean, she's so... out of your league. 242 00:11:12,462 --> 00:11:15,494 Well... Anyway, I'm very glad to help, sir. 243 00:11:15,594 --> 00:11:17,395 -God, I love you. -Thank you, Mr O'Connor. 244 00:11:17,495 --> 00:11:19,900 Let's go drinking, huh? Come on. 245 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:23,131 Let's get fucked up. Hit somebars, get a couple of prostitutes. 246 00:11:23,231 --> 00:11:26,098 C'mon! Just the two of us. We'll be like brothers, only naked! 247 00:11:26,198 --> 00:11:28,900 I'm not sure that a bittershandy and purchasing love is the answer, sir. 248 00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,527 No, you're right. You're always right. 249 00:11:30,627 --> 00:11:32,494 There's only one thing left to do. 250 00:11:32,594 --> 00:11:35,098 -You're going to haveto call her. -What? 251 00:11:35,198 --> 00:11:37,428 Tell her... Tell her I'm sorry. 252 00:11:37,528 --> 00:11:40,098 Tell her that I need her, for God's sake! It's ringing. 253 00:11:40,198 --> 00:11:42,264 Christ! 254 00:11:43,363 --> 00:11:47,362 Um... Hello! Hello, hello. Yeah, er, Brenda? 255 00:11:47,462 --> 00:11:49,659 Yes, it is Gavin. How did you...? Anyway, listen. 256 00:11:49,759 --> 00:11:52,230 I've got Brendan here with me. 257 00:11:52,330 --> 00:11:54,329 He's really very, very upset. 258 00:11:54,429 --> 00:11:58,164 Er, he says, um, that he loves you. 259 00:11:58,264 --> 00:12:00,263 He's never said that before? 260 00:12:00,363 --> 00:12:03,660 No! No, I don't think you should do anything rash, Brenda! 261 00:12:04,627 --> 00:12:07,297 Yes, I'll... I'll tell him. 262 00:12:08,495 --> 00:12:11,792 Yes, you have a lovely day too. Yes, bye. Bye, Brenda! 263 00:12:13,363 --> 00:12:16,362 -Well? -She said she wants a divorce. 264 00:12:16,462 --> 00:12:19,594 She wants half of everything, including Valco. 265 00:12:31,033 --> 00:12:33,198 Ooh! Ah! Aw! 266 00:12:37,396 --> 00:12:39,329 Pull door. 267 00:12:39,429 --> 00:12:41,461 I mean, why would you tell her that I love her, Gavin? 268 00:12:41,561 --> 00:12:43,362 Why would you do something so stupid? 269 00:12:43,462 --> 00:12:45,362 You said to. You wrote it on a piece of paper. 270 00:12:45,462 --> 00:12:48,428 I meant it to you, Gavin. To you! Now she thinks I'm weak. 271 00:12:48,528 --> 00:12:50,593 Vulnerable. She's gonna come after half. 272 00:12:50,693 --> 00:12:52,692 Have you got any idea how much that's worth, Gavin? 273 00:12:52,792 --> 00:12:55,164 Well, you've an estimated worth of 1.1 billion. 274 00:12:55,264 --> 00:12:58,395 You've got a 60% stakein Valco Foods and the Valco Food Group. 275 00:12:58,495 --> 00:13:01,230 -Around 300 million,plus dividends. -Bollocks! 276 00:13:01,330 --> 00:13:03,395 You just gave away 300 million, Gavin. 277 00:13:03,495 --> 00:13:08,032 That's like five hospitals,Gavin. You've just closed five hospitals. 278 00:13:08,132 --> 00:13:10,999 300 million! How in the name of Jesus 279 00:13:11,099 --> 00:13:13,197 am I supposed to recover all of that, huh? 280 00:13:13,297 --> 00:13:16,461 Not with sweet fucking cheeses! Huh? 281 00:13:16,561 --> 00:13:20,230 I'll have to close Valco. You've just closed Valco! 282 00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:23,659 Sir, I'm really sorry for yoursituation, but I can't be held responsible. 283 00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:27,933 In order to recoup that muchmoney, Valco would have to be open 24 hours a day, 284 00:13:28,033 --> 00:13:30,461 -and we all know thatthat's not possible. -Wait! 285 00:13:30,561 --> 00:13:33,329 -Say that again.-Valco would have to be open 24... 286 00:13:33,429 --> 00:13:35,999 I don't need you to say itagain, Gavin, I heard you the first time! 287 00:13:36,099 --> 00:13:38,428 -It's genius! -What is? 288 00:13:38,528 --> 00:13:42,900 24-hour opening.That could make enough money to cover the 300 million. 289 00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:45,231 I bloody love you, Gavin. 290 00:13:47,627 --> 00:13:50,065 Please, let's not start all that again. 291 00:13:50,165 --> 00:13:52,131 I can't believe we didn't do it sooner. 292 00:13:52,231 --> 00:13:54,692 -I thought this was aboutgetting your wife back? -What?! 293 00:13:54,792 --> 00:13:56,626 Why would I want her back? She's a terrible woman. 294 00:13:56,726 --> 00:13:59,329 No, this was about me not being able to afford the divorce. 295 00:13:59,429 --> 00:14:02,395 But you... you've solved all of that. 296 00:14:02,495 --> 00:14:05,099 Can't thank you enough. 297 00:14:10,033 --> 00:14:12,230 -Brendan! -Hiya, girls? 298 00:14:12,330 --> 00:14:14,527 You'll get your death of cold up there. 299 00:14:14,627 --> 00:14:17,362 -Here, Gavin! -(GIGGLING) 300 00:14:17,462 --> 00:14:19,066 Whooo! 301 00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:22,098 That should sort your hay fever, which, in truth, 302 00:14:22,198 --> 00:14:25,296 is a made-up allergy and doesn't actually exist. Thank you. 303 00:14:25,396 --> 00:14:29,230 Got a bottle of plonk. That should loosen Alan up a bit. 304 00:14:29,330 --> 00:14:32,230 -Loosen him up? -Well, he can be shy at first, 305 00:14:32,330 --> 00:14:34,626 but when he gets going, he's quite the showman is Alan. 306 00:14:34,726 --> 00:14:36,966 -Uh-huh. -Yeah, he's a real comedian. 307 00:14:37,066 --> 00:14:40,461 Oh! (LAUGHS) He put my shoes on once! 308 00:14:40,561 --> 00:14:43,362 -You know, just for a laugh. -Crazy! 309 00:14:43,462 --> 00:14:47,197 Oh, it were so funny. His feet are the same size as mine. 310 00:14:47,297 --> 00:14:49,933 -Oh, he did look silly. -I'm sure. 311 00:14:50,033 --> 00:14:52,428 Well, I'd been on holiday with my sister, 312 00:14:52,528 --> 00:14:55,362 and I don't know how he guessed that I were coming home early, 313 00:14:55,462 --> 00:14:59,197 but when I got in, he's in the bedroom wearing all my clothes! 314 00:14:59,297 --> 00:15:04,396 (LAUGHS) A wig, full make-up, and he'd got my shoes on! 315 00:15:06,363 --> 00:15:11,132 Oh, it were so funny! Oh, we laughed and laughed! Oh! 316 00:15:13,198 --> 00:15:15,999 And then never talked about it again. 317 00:15:16,099 --> 00:15:18,692 In through the nose, out through the mouth. 318 00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:21,593 No, it's no good. 24-hour opening! 319 00:15:21,693 --> 00:15:24,165 -Try my inhaler. -Oh, thank you. 320 00:15:29,759 --> 00:15:32,659 His lips touched it. His lips actually touched it. 321 00:15:32,759 --> 00:15:36,164 Look, it's not the endof the world and Warrington gets the footfall. 322 00:15:36,264 --> 00:15:39,197 Plus we'll be providinga service to the community throughout the night. 323 00:15:39,297 --> 00:15:42,131 I can't believe you'd say that,Cheryl! You know what I feel about even opening on a Sunday! 324 00:15:42,231 --> 00:15:45,626 -Yeah, I know, love.-A supermarket needs to lie fallow at night. 325 00:15:45,726 --> 00:15:47,659 Yes, but remember what we said about change. 326 00:15:47,759 --> 00:15:50,032 Yeah, but... Yeah... Chilled! 327 00:15:50,132 --> 00:15:52,999 And anyway it'll probably never even happen. 328 00:15:53,099 --> 00:15:55,933 You know what Brendan's like.He's random at the best of times. 329 00:15:56,033 --> 00:15:58,263 He's probably already forgotten. Excuse me. Carol. 330 00:15:58,363 --> 00:16:01,560 Yuh-huh. Yuh-huh. Yuh-huh. Brendan? 331 00:16:01,660 --> 00:16:02,999 Yes. 332 00:16:03,099 --> 00:16:06,197 Yes. Yes. Gavin did. 333 00:16:06,297 --> 00:16:09,999 Oh, I see. Oh, that's great news, Carol. Thanks for calling. 334 00:16:10,099 --> 00:16:12,428 -Yeah, bye-bye. Bye-bye now. -What did she say? 335 00:16:12,528 --> 00:16:15,626 I'm afraid it's already done.He's told everyone it was your idea 336 00:16:15,726 --> 00:16:18,131 and now everybody at head office hates you. 337 00:16:18,231 --> 00:16:21,297 -What was the "great news"? -My Amazon delivery's arrived. 338 00:16:26,627 --> 00:16:29,099 -(DOVE COOS) -Oh, Mother! 339 00:16:38,264 --> 00:16:39,230 Oh. 340 00:16:39,330 --> 00:16:41,363 It's just water. 341 00:16:42,693 --> 00:16:45,395 If you're this fed up, why don't you just dump him? 342 00:16:45,495 --> 00:16:47,527 How? How do you dump Neville? 343 00:16:47,627 --> 00:16:49,560 He's the sweetest, most sensitive man I've ever met. 344 00:16:49,660 --> 00:16:52,428 -So annoying though. -So annoying. 345 00:16:52,528 --> 00:16:54,933 It's just not how I see my life panning out. 346 00:16:55,033 --> 00:16:57,999 And what if he wants kids?I couldn't give them his DNA, it wouldn't be fair. 347 00:16:58,099 --> 00:17:00,792 No. No, it wouldn't be, love. 348 00:17:02,165 --> 00:17:05,296 D'you know what, Sue? You look really nice in that new uniform. 349 00:17:05,396 --> 00:17:07,131 -It really suits ya. -No way! 350 00:17:07,231 --> 00:17:09,230 -What? -I'm not doing it for you. 351 00:17:09,330 --> 00:17:12,032 -Oh, mate, please!-No way. You've made your bed, you lie in it. 352 00:17:12,132 --> 00:17:14,692 Besides, he's not that bad, is he? 353 00:17:14,792 --> 00:17:18,296 ♪ Ooooh, Linda! 354 00:17:18,396 --> 00:17:21,395 ♪ My favourite dream, always looking gorgeous 355 00:17:21,495 --> 00:17:23,230 ♪ You're the cutest I've seen. 356 00:17:23,330 --> 00:17:26,131 ♪ Ever since I met you, you've captured my heart 357 00:17:26,231 --> 00:17:28,626 ♪ And if you want a Romeo, then I'll play the part. ♪ 358 00:17:28,726 --> 00:17:30,362 - Stop! -♪ Linda... ♪ 359 00:17:30,462 --> 00:17:32,999 I can't take anymore, Nev. I just can't. 360 00:17:33,099 --> 00:17:34,933 Another tune, my love? 361 00:17:35,033 --> 00:17:38,164 ♪ My girl Linda, she's the cream of the crop 362 00:17:38,264 --> 00:17:41,032 ♪ And since I started loving her I just can't stop. 363 00:17:41,132 --> 00:17:44,659 ♪ She's got beautiful eyes and beautiful hair, 364 00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:47,230 ♪ I'm so lucky I'm her teddy bear. ♪ 365 00:17:47,330 --> 00:17:50,792 We're over, Nev. It's done. We're splitting up. 366 00:17:53,462 --> 00:17:55,659 Can you do that one again? 367 00:17:55,759 --> 00:17:59,263 ♪ My girl Linda, she's the cream of the crop 368 00:17:59,363 --> 00:18:01,933 ♪ And since I started loving you, I just can't stop. 369 00:18:02,033 --> 00:18:04,999 ♪ She's got beautiful eyes and beautiful hair, 370 00:18:05,099 --> 00:18:08,395 ♪ I'm so lucky I'm her teddy bear. 371 00:18:08,495 --> 00:18:11,560 ♪ My girl Linda, she's the cream of the crop 372 00:18:11,660 --> 00:18:14,329 ♪ And since I started loving you, I just can't stop. 373 00:18:14,429 --> 00:18:17,626 ♪ She's got beautiful eyes and beautiful hair... ♪ 374 00:18:17,726 --> 00:18:20,131 We're gonna need 20 new staff! 375 00:18:20,231 --> 00:18:23,164 And more stock, and a bigger cold store. 376 00:18:23,264 --> 00:18:25,230 When are we gonna get the cleaners in? 377 00:18:25,330 --> 00:18:28,065 The floor is just going to look like a disco at closing time. 378 00:18:28,165 --> 00:18:30,296 Well, you've never even been to a disco, my love, 379 00:18:30,396 --> 00:18:32,329 and you wouldn't stay until closing time. 380 00:18:32,429 --> 00:18:34,461 -Mr Strong. -Oh, it's you, Donna. 381 00:18:34,561 --> 00:18:37,032 I really wish that you would knock. 382 00:18:37,132 --> 00:18:39,395 Ah, can't do that, I'm afraid. Loses the element of surprise. 383 00:18:39,495 --> 00:18:41,395 -Hi, Donna Calabresi. -Hello. 384 00:18:41,495 --> 00:18:43,297 Did my security evaluation, Mr Strong. 385 00:18:48,693 --> 00:18:51,659 Right. What are we looking at here then? 386 00:18:51,759 --> 00:18:53,999 Oh, um... 387 00:18:54,099 --> 00:18:56,065 That is Valco Warrington. 388 00:18:56,165 --> 00:18:59,197 There's the car park. That's my Subaru Impreza. 389 00:18:59,297 --> 00:19:02,461 Uh-huh. What are all the red bits? 390 00:19:02,561 --> 00:19:04,131 Points of vulnerability. 391 00:19:04,231 --> 00:19:06,461 -Well, they're everywhere. -Affirmative. 392 00:19:06,561 --> 00:19:08,428 This store is like a big pair of open legs. 393 00:19:08,528 --> 00:19:10,966 And we're the balls just waiting to be kicked. 394 00:19:11,066 --> 00:19:12,692 My recommendation is we close down the store. 395 00:19:12,792 --> 00:19:14,966 Oh, absolutely not. 396 00:19:15,066 --> 00:19:16,966 -Right. -Plan B? 397 00:19:17,066 --> 00:19:18,999 I don't really have one. 398 00:19:19,099 --> 00:19:22,495 I thought you'd go with closing down the store. 399 00:19:24,132 --> 00:19:25,966 -How about losing the tills? -No. 400 00:19:26,066 --> 00:19:27,560 OK, then, I'm gonna need a deputy. 401 00:19:27,660 --> 00:19:29,999 My brother Ty could do it for 30 quid a day. 402 00:19:30,099 --> 00:19:32,692 He used to have a crack problem but he's clean now. 403 00:19:32,792 --> 00:19:37,131 OK. Well, don't say I didn't warn you. 404 00:19:37,231 --> 00:19:39,098 Especially if this 24-hour thing's happening. 405 00:19:39,198 --> 00:19:40,900 How did you know about that? 406 00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,329 Can't tell you that, I'm afraid. 407 00:19:42,429 --> 00:19:44,428 Don't want to compromise my sources. 408 00:19:44,528 --> 00:19:47,065 Also you have a pigeon infestation. 409 00:19:47,165 --> 00:19:48,594 Just FYI. 410 00:19:50,495 --> 00:19:54,131 -(HE SIGHS)-Hey, look enough of the worrying, you. 411 00:19:54,231 --> 00:19:56,527 This 24-hour thing's going to be fine. 412 00:19:56,627 --> 00:19:58,428 And anyway, it won't even be your problem. 413 00:19:58,528 --> 00:20:01,461 -It'll be the jobof a night manager. -Of course! 414 00:20:01,561 --> 00:20:04,999 No, wait. I can't share the store with someone else. 415 00:20:05,099 --> 00:20:07,999 -What?-Not with someone else. No, not my Valerie! 416 00:20:08,099 --> 00:20:12,131 You... You've named the store "Valerie"? 417 00:20:12,231 --> 00:20:14,461 Yeah, Valerie Valco. 418 00:20:14,561 --> 00:20:18,131 -Actually, can you forgetyou ever heard that? -Yes, I think I better had. 419 00:20:18,231 --> 00:20:20,999 Little fact. All pigs are made out of wafer thin ham. 420 00:20:21,099 --> 00:20:23,164 -Really? -Hey, Lisa. You alright? 421 00:20:23,264 --> 00:20:26,065 Yeah. Just came in to show everyone Baby. 422 00:20:26,165 --> 00:20:28,428 -I've been here ages, actually. -Can I see her? 423 00:20:28,528 --> 00:20:30,966 Oh, Nev's just changing her out the back. 424 00:20:31,066 --> 00:20:33,329 Sorry that took such a long time. 425 00:20:33,429 --> 00:20:37,263 It really was the mosthorrifying poo for such a young baby. 426 00:20:37,363 --> 00:20:39,626 Aww! I think she's done another. 427 00:20:39,726 --> 00:20:42,032 -Nev, let's go! -Yes, of course. 428 00:20:42,132 --> 00:20:45,263 Only I did want to speak to Linda. She's dumped me, you see. 429 00:20:45,363 --> 00:20:47,197 It's not all about you, is it, Nev! 430 00:20:47,297 --> 00:20:49,494 No. Right you are. 431 00:20:49,594 --> 00:20:52,527 Do you know what, she takes after Papa. Why? 432 00:20:52,627 --> 00:20:54,659 -Because I always double poo. -He does. 433 00:20:54,759 --> 00:20:57,966 He poos, then he comes back, says he needs another poo, 434 00:20:58,066 --> 00:21:00,065 -so he goes for another. -Fascinating. 435 00:21:00,165 --> 00:21:02,933 -I just do a massive onein the morning. -I really don't care. 436 00:21:03,033 --> 00:21:05,692 -You go for oneat night and all. -Yeah, I always do. 437 00:21:05,792 --> 00:21:08,362 -And at lunch. -This one loves a lunchtime poo. 438 00:21:08,462 --> 00:21:10,900 -Oh, God, I have missed this. -What? 439 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,296 This. Grown-up conversation. 440 00:21:13,396 --> 00:21:16,626 Stuck at home on the sofa all day. It's just not me. 441 00:21:16,726 --> 00:21:18,362 I am a career woman. 442 00:21:18,462 --> 00:21:21,659 I thrive in a high-pressure working environment. 443 00:21:21,759 --> 00:21:25,593 Well, why don't you swap?Colin, you could be a stay-at-home dad. 444 00:21:25,693 --> 00:21:28,395 I could be a modern father, no problem. Like, oooh! 445 00:21:28,495 --> 00:21:30,999 Like that dudeon the Athena poster. You know, when he's like... 446 00:21:31,099 --> 00:21:33,428 -Oh, you'd really do that? -I love my baby. 447 00:21:33,528 --> 00:21:35,461 -And it would be an honour. -All done. 448 00:21:35,561 --> 00:21:38,164 -Yeah? Have you fed her? -No. Is she due a feed? 449 00:21:38,264 --> 00:21:41,759 -I'm... I'm not sure! -Right you are. Ooh! 450 00:21:42,792 --> 00:21:45,593 -Oh, no! -What's the matter? 451 00:21:45,693 --> 00:21:48,560 My wife's in the middle ofan operation and it's running over. 452 00:21:48,660 --> 00:21:50,197 She won't be able to make it tonight. 453 00:21:50,297 --> 00:21:52,098 Oh, that's terrible! 454 00:21:52,198 --> 00:21:55,296 It is. Well, you know what these doctors are like. 455 00:21:55,396 --> 00:21:57,560 -Yeah. Bloody idiots! -Exactly! 456 00:21:57,660 --> 00:21:59,230 -Bastards! -Oh, yeah... 457 00:21:59,330 --> 00:22:00,999 Look, I'm really sorry. 458 00:22:01,099 --> 00:22:03,329 After all the trouble you and Alan have gone to. 459 00:22:03,429 --> 00:22:06,296 -Oh, it's no problem, honestly. -You sure? 460 00:22:06,396 --> 00:22:08,593 -Yeah, course. -Oh, that's good of you. 461 00:22:08,693 --> 00:22:11,131 It'll be nice just the three of us, anyway. 462 00:22:11,231 --> 00:22:15,230 -What?-You'll need a meal, especially if your wife's working late. 463 00:22:15,330 --> 00:22:19,593 -But I thought...-It'll give Alan a good chance to get to know you better. 464 00:22:19,693 --> 00:22:22,164 He's been saying, "Ooh, I can't wait 465 00:22:22,264 --> 00:22:24,296 to tell Brian about my third leg." 466 00:22:24,396 --> 00:22:26,263 -What? -Oh, it's huge! 467 00:22:26,363 --> 00:22:28,461 -Oh, you should see it. -Dear God! 468 00:22:28,561 --> 00:22:31,395 He lets me have a go on it sometimes, but... 469 00:22:31,495 --> 00:22:34,198 I don't like walking sticks, do you? 470 00:22:35,396 --> 00:22:36,759 (SIGHS) 471 00:22:39,297 --> 00:22:41,230 (LINDA SOBS) 472 00:22:41,330 --> 00:22:44,593 -Linda, can I have a word? -(SNIFFS) Yeah. 473 00:22:44,693 --> 00:22:47,494 I just wanted to say, I understand. 474 00:22:47,594 --> 00:22:49,593 -Really? -Yes. In truth, 475 00:22:49,693 --> 00:22:51,900 I've been waiting for this day for about three years. 476 00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:53,692 Me too. 477 00:22:53,792 --> 00:22:56,627 -I mean, I've been expecting it. -Oh. 478 00:22:58,198 --> 00:23:01,494 I've tried to give you what you want, but I've come up short. 479 00:23:01,594 --> 00:23:03,593 I just want you to know 480 00:23:03,693 --> 00:23:06,494 I will always treasure the time we've spent together. 481 00:23:06,594 --> 00:23:09,560 -Everybody's going to thinkI'm such a cow. -No, no. 482 00:23:09,660 --> 00:23:12,263 They will. They won't know how hard it's been for me. 483 00:23:12,363 --> 00:23:16,263 -I'll tell them.-But everyone's gonna be on your side cos you've been dumped. 484 00:23:16,363 --> 00:23:18,593 I dumped you. 485 00:23:18,693 --> 00:23:20,933 It doesn't get any easier to hear. 486 00:23:21,033 --> 00:23:25,264 -It's so unfair. (SOBS) -I know. I know. 487 00:23:28,330 --> 00:23:30,362 -Here we go. -Here we go, have some ham. 488 00:23:30,462 --> 00:23:34,296 -Go on. -24 hours! What a future. 489 00:23:34,396 --> 00:23:37,395 Oh, she'll be fine. Won't you, Valerie? 490 00:23:37,495 --> 00:23:39,527 I'll drop you at your mum's. 491 00:23:39,627 --> 00:23:42,363 She'll be so pleased that we've finished. 492 00:23:45,297 --> 00:23:47,792 Oh, no! Not again.