1 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:03,460 -Valco! -Serves you right. 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:05,580 -I've prepared something. -It's OK! 3 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,980 -Can she just stop that? -Don't forget our brilliant... 4 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,300 -From booze to biscuits! -Red-hot deals. 5 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:14,820 -Loads of two-for-ones. -The finest butchers, the freshest meat. 6 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:19,380 -Now 24 hours a day. -Service with a smile. 7 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:21,340 Friendly staff always happy to help. 8 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:24,080 -Roger that. -Tick! 9 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:26,620 Am I getting paid for this? 10 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:29,120 Valco, serves you right! 11 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:33,740 Seriously, I'm giving myself an official warning. 12 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:35,580 Red card, Cheryl Fairweather! 13 00:00:35,680 --> 00:00:38,020 No more wedding planning during the working day. 14 00:00:38,120 --> 00:00:39,420 I'm not even going to mention it. 15 00:00:39,520 --> 00:00:40,580 -What? -The wedding. 16 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:42,380 Ha-ha! You just did it. 17 00:00:42,480 --> 00:00:44,480 I just did! 18 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:50,820 Aah! OK, well, that is the last time, I promise. Zip it! 19 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:55,420 No, from now on, we just concentrate on 24-hour Valco. 20 00:00:55,520 --> 00:00:58,700 -Nothing else, agreed? -Yeah, but I told you, it's all in hand. 21 00:00:58,800 --> 00:01:01,420 -There's really, really nothing for you to worry about. -Sorry. 22 00:01:01,520 --> 00:01:03,780 -(MOBILE RINGS) -Oh, wedding venue. 23 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,740 No, I'm not gonna take it. Gonna work. Focus. 24 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:09,620 Officially, we don't start work for another four and a half minutes, so... 25 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,780 God, I love your attention to detail! 26 00:01:11,880 --> 00:01:13,340 (MOBILE RINGS) 27 00:01:13,440 --> 00:01:16,660 Cheryl Fairweather speaking. What?! What?! 28 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,740 Oh, dear, trouble in paradise? 29 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,740 No, no. Just head office. 30 00:01:22,840 --> 00:01:25,820 -Very dull, management stuff. -Gav, Gav, Gav... 31 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,380 I've studied the ancient art of body language. 32 00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,700 And if Cheryl is talking to head office, 33 00:01:30,800 --> 00:01:33,220 you've got some serious shiz going down. 34 00:01:33,320 --> 00:01:36,940 -Really? What kind of shiz? -High-level shiz. Grade-A shiz. 35 00:01:37,040 --> 00:01:39,580 Right. Sorry, what is shiz? 36 00:01:39,680 --> 00:01:42,900 -It's short for shizzle, my Gizzle. -I see. 37 00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:46,340 Well, all I can say is I'm glad I strapped the old vest on today. 38 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,180 (METALLIC THUD) 39 00:01:48,280 --> 00:01:49,540 Gavin. 40 00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:51,460 But we had a verbal agreement. 41 00:01:51,560 --> 00:01:53,700 Well, this is literally a nightmare. 42 00:01:53,800 --> 00:01:55,900 You'll be hearing from my solicitors. Goodbye. 43 00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:58,180 -Bad news? -Whatever made you think that, Gavin? 44 00:01:58,280 --> 00:02:00,100 Yes, it was bad news! 45 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,740 The venue's just cancelled on us. 46 00:02:02,840 --> 00:02:04,840 Oh, shizzle! 47 00:02:07,640 --> 00:02:11,420 Right, here's the list for the big shop. 48 00:02:11,520 --> 00:02:15,900 Right. Um, darling, it just says "Food and that". 49 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,740 {\an1}Yeah, cos that's what we need. And remember to set the alarm. 50 00:02:18,840 --> 00:02:22,140 {\an1}Cos it's every two hours. If you miss even one, I will be pissed. 51 00:02:22,240 --> 00:02:23,980 -Yeah, I know. -Baby feeds, is it? 52 00:02:24,080 --> 00:02:26,180 No, Love Island repeats. 53 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,660 -Right, I'll see ya later. -See you later, hot momma! 54 00:02:28,760 --> 00:02:32,220 -Say, bye, hot momma! -Aah, can I get a cuddle? 55 00:02:32,320 --> 00:02:34,940 OK, quick, but while she's not looking. Oh! 56 00:02:35,040 --> 00:02:38,420 I mean, where am I going to find another venue at such short notice? 57 00:02:38,520 --> 00:02:40,460 Have you thought of checking the Thompson Directory? 58 00:02:40,560 --> 00:02:43,340 Not since 1987, Gavin, no! 59 00:02:43,440 --> 00:02:46,860 Oh! I think snappy Susan might have just popped in for tea? 60 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:48,500 Yes, I think she might have done. 61 00:02:48,600 --> 00:02:50,260 Shall I tell her that we're busy? 62 00:02:50,360 --> 00:02:52,900 Yes, please. I'm sorry, it's just... 63 00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:57,860 This week of all weeks, what with the Valco 24-hour launch and everything! 64 00:02:57,960 --> 00:03:00,500 Yeah, well, Cheryl, we could just cancel it. 65 00:03:00,600 --> 00:03:02,620 Perhaps? I mean, it's just a thought. 66 00:03:02,720 --> 00:03:04,580 Really? You'd be OK with that? 67 00:03:04,680 --> 00:03:08,820 Oh, yeah, course! 24-hour opening is a horrendous idea. 68 00:03:08,920 --> 00:03:11,100 -It's a disaster waiting to happen! -Ah, no... 69 00:03:11,200 --> 00:03:15,340 Oh, crossed wires Christopher? You meant cancelling the wedding! 70 00:03:15,440 --> 00:03:16,940 -No! -You did! 71 00:03:17,040 --> 00:03:19,140 -No, no, no, no. -No, no. Fine. No, no. 72 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:23,020 I guess I always knew it was too good to be true. 73 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,300 Well, you know, you're free to get a better man now. 74 00:03:25,400 --> 00:03:28,660 Stronger, taller, bloody redder hair. 75 00:03:28,760 --> 00:03:32,700 No, Gavin, I don't mean that. I want to marry you more than anything in the world. 76 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:36,600 It's just that... I just don't have time to sort it. 77 00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:40,340 Unless, of course, you sorted it. 78 00:03:40,440 --> 00:03:44,300 Me? Cheryl Fairweather! Have you been smoking mackerel? 79 00:03:44,400 --> 00:03:46,500 No, I'm serious. I trust you. 80 00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:49,900 You just plan the wedding you'd always dreamt of as a little boy. 81 00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:52,640 -Are you sure? -Absolutely positive. 82 00:03:53,880 --> 00:03:57,420 Run free with it. Do whatever you like. 83 00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:00,940 As long as the groom is confirmed, I'm happy. 84 00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:03,940 Oh, yes, confirmed. Confirmed and RSVP'd. 85 00:04:04,040 --> 00:04:08,800 Yeah, you really didn't have to actually write back to us, but very helpful anyway. 86 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:11,980 Donna, you've not seen the new night manager? 87 00:04:12,080 --> 00:04:14,100 Nope. Heard about the crisis though. 88 00:04:14,200 --> 00:04:17,020 -What crisis? -Got you. "What crisis?" Nice one. 89 00:04:17,120 --> 00:04:18,980 No, seriously, Donna, what crisis? 90 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:20,900 -The one Gavin and Cheryl were on about. -Valco crisis? 91 00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,020 -Is it? -I never said that. 92 00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:25,380 Yeah, you did, but I'm on board. 93 00:04:25,480 --> 00:04:29,100 You said nothing. I'm going to need a level-3 security clearance on this. 94 00:04:29,200 --> 00:04:30,660 -It doesn't exist. -Officially. 95 00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:32,380 -Or in reality. -OK. Understood. 96 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,100 -We're going underground. -We're not doing anything. 97 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:36,380 Clever. No paper trail. I like it. 98 00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:38,660 But you can trust me. I'm not one for having loose lips. 99 00:04:38,760 --> 00:04:41,020 -Great. -In fact... 100 00:04:41,120 --> 00:04:44,240 I'm known in the industry for how tight my lips are. 101 00:04:49,200 --> 00:04:52,140 -Whoo! -(CRASHING) 102 00:04:52,240 --> 00:04:55,060 I think she's the deputy manager or maybe the HR woman. 103 00:04:55,160 --> 00:04:57,620 -It's not totally clear, to be honest. -Katie. 104 00:04:57,720 --> 00:05:01,540 She's wearing, like, a blazer and pants or skirt. 105 00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:03,660 -Katie. -And she's got that blondie, brownie hair. 106 00:05:03,760 --> 00:05:06,060 And those mahoosive mono-eyebrows! 107 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,160 Katie!! 108 00:05:08,560 --> 00:05:10,020 Here she is. 109 00:05:10,120 --> 00:05:12,540 -What am I like, eh? -I really don't know. 110 00:05:12,640 --> 00:05:15,020 -Thanks, Sue. -Thank you. 111 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,660 {\an1}Hey, I was lucky to bump into that customer services woman. 112 00:05:17,760 --> 00:05:20,340 -Sue. -Yeah, you know with the short, Gothic, flamingo hair. 113 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,820 -Yeah, Sue. -Green Valco shirt. 114 00:05:22,920 --> 00:05:24,380 -Yeah, Sue. -Wearing glasses. 115 00:05:24,480 --> 00:05:26,300 Yes, it's Sue, and she's not even wearing glasses. 116 00:05:26,400 --> 00:05:29,000 Yeah, well, maybe it's not Sue then. 117 00:05:31,480 --> 00:05:33,480 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 118 00:05:34,520 --> 00:05:37,660 Hiya, Gavin. Sorry to bother you. 119 00:05:37,760 --> 00:05:40,100 Ah, yes, Margaret, how can I help? 120 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:41,900 Ooh, I don't need anything. 121 00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:45,100 I just fancied a nice, quiet sit down for a bit. 122 00:05:45,200 --> 00:05:49,300 Right, well... Um, only, I'm actually quite busy. 123 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:51,140 (SHE LAUGHS) Busy! 124 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:53,060 Oh, you are funny, Gavin! 125 00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:55,160 (SHE CHUCKLES) 126 00:06:00,880 --> 00:06:03,140 Sorry. Ignore me. 127 00:06:03,240 --> 00:06:06,180 -Why do they call them crisps? -What? 128 00:06:06,280 --> 00:06:09,460 -Why do they call them crisps? -I really don't know, Margaret. 129 00:06:09,560 --> 00:06:12,140 -No, but it's interesting though, isn't it? -No. 130 00:06:12,240 --> 00:06:16,180 In America, they call them potato chips. 131 00:06:16,280 --> 00:06:20,060 -(SHE LAUGHS) -Oh, dear! Yes. 132 00:06:20,160 --> 00:06:23,100 You know I'm actually in the middle of planning my own wedding here, Margaret. 133 00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:25,600 Ignore me. Sorry. 134 00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:31,200 (AMERICAN ACCENT) Potato chips! Potato chips! 135 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:34,140 Potato chips! 136 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:37,300 -On your own today, Sue? -Yes, that's right, Nev. 137 00:06:37,400 --> 00:06:40,460 She's not in. I don't know where she is or who she's with, or if she... 138 00:06:40,560 --> 00:06:42,660 (BOTH) Still smells like a meadow. 139 00:06:42,760 --> 00:06:44,620 Anyway, you only saw her yesterday. 140 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:48,180 The days all merge into one when you lie awake all night, 141 00:06:48,280 --> 00:06:51,100 clinging on to the only pillow that still smells of her. 142 00:06:51,200 --> 00:06:55,420 Oh, for God's sake, Neville! Do us all a favour and put a wash on. 143 00:06:55,520 --> 00:06:59,500 To be honest, being out on the shop floor is pretty much a formality. 144 00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:02,060 Customers and staff just need to know that you're available to them. 145 00:07:02,160 --> 00:07:05,540 Yep, yep, I get you because I am totally listening to you now. 146 00:07:05,640 --> 00:07:07,580 -Can I ask a question? -Absolutely. 147 00:07:07,680 --> 00:07:10,140 -How much of it can we eat? -Sorry? 148 00:07:10,240 --> 00:07:13,660 How much of the food can we actually eat? 149 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,060 None of it. 150 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,340 I'm serious, Lou. If you haven't bought it, you can't eat it. 151 00:07:19,440 --> 00:07:21,980 Oh, shit. Really? 152 00:07:22,080 --> 00:07:24,600 I definitely did not realise that. 153 00:07:28,400 --> 00:07:32,460 -Shall we carry on? -Yeah. (SPEAKS WITH MOUTH FULL) 154 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:34,820 You might say it's just a banana. 155 00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:37,980 I picked it up without thinking, Don. But it's a gateway crime. 156 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:43,780 Today, a banana. Tomorrow, a Samsung widescreen HDTV with surround sound. 157 00:07:43,880 --> 00:07:46,420 She's three years old. She was crying. So I picked up a banana. 158 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:49,540 -I always pay for them at the till. -Is everything alright? 159 00:07:49,640 --> 00:07:51,740 -Stand back please, Katie. This is a crime scene. -She's a child. 160 00:07:51,840 --> 00:07:55,460 I'm sorry about this. Can you let them go please, Donna? 161 00:07:55,560 --> 00:07:57,620 Got you. Let them go. Understood. 162 00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,740 No! I don't think you do! I mean, let them go. 163 00:08:00,840 --> 00:08:02,940 Oh, so you mean, actually, let them go? 164 00:08:03,040 --> 00:08:05,140 -Now you've got it. -Oh. 165 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:07,300 Thank you for shopping at Valco. 166 00:08:07,400 --> 00:08:09,400 Thank you for shopping at Valco. 167 00:08:10,880 --> 00:08:12,780 -See. -What? 168 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:14,620 If you'd let me have level-3 security clearance 169 00:08:14,720 --> 00:08:16,780 and kept me in the loop that might never have happened. 170 00:08:16,880 --> 00:08:20,020 -Why? -Cos I've only got basic clearance, so I'm on edge. 171 00:08:20,120 --> 00:08:23,580 I'm like a security meerkat, up on my haunches looking for the next crisis. 172 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:27,100 Where is it? What is it? Why won't they give me level-3 security clearance? 173 00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:30,420 -Because it doesn't exist! -Ah, I see. 174 00:08:30,520 --> 00:08:34,280 Still towing the line. Shame. Shame. 175 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:42,260 Oh, um, hello. I just wanted to know if the Malden Suite was available? 176 00:08:42,360 --> 00:08:44,220 Oh, it is? Oh, fantastic! 177 00:08:44,320 --> 00:08:46,620 That's an awful place. It's a right dump. 178 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:50,020 Is it? Um, actually, yeah, don't worry. 179 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:53,220 I've changed my mind. Yeah, thank you. 180 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:55,220 Right. What's the next one on the list? 181 00:08:55,320 --> 00:08:58,300 Malden Suite! That looks lovely. 182 00:08:58,400 --> 00:09:01,860 Photobooths are for passport renewals, everybody knows that. 183 00:09:01,960 --> 00:09:04,500 Bows? On chairbacks? 184 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:06,820 No, I'm not Louis XVI. 185 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:11,840 Risotto on a big spoon? This isn't a bunga-bunga party! 186 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:15,940 -Is Cheryl here yet? -No, but, er... 187 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:18,180 Gavin's turned into a Groomzilla. 188 00:09:18,280 --> 00:09:19,940 Now this I've got to see. 189 00:09:20,040 --> 00:09:22,700 So that is going to throw my colour scheme off entirely. 190 00:09:22,800 --> 00:09:25,380 Listen, I'll have a think about it and call you back. 191 00:09:25,480 --> 00:09:28,260 Sorry to interrupt, but I seem to have lost Lou. 192 00:09:28,360 --> 00:09:31,060 Or she's gone missing and she's meant to be meeting Cheryl. 193 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:34,740 That is a shame. If she pops up just get her to count some boxes in the store room. 194 00:09:34,840 --> 00:09:37,380 Or do you mean, hide her so she misses her meeting? 195 00:09:37,480 --> 00:09:40,540 -Listen, Cheryl won't mind. -What won't Cheryl mind? 196 00:09:40,640 --> 00:09:43,740 Saying "I do" while we skydive? Aaagh! 197 00:09:43,840 --> 00:09:47,260 No, I mean, not meeting our new night manager. 198 00:09:47,360 --> 00:09:50,220 She's already working the floor. She's got the hang of it already. 199 00:09:50,320 --> 00:09:53,780 No, sorry, Hubby-Booboo, I am going to have to pull rank on you there. 200 00:09:53,880 --> 00:09:56,980 I do have to meet her. This is a key hire for head office. 201 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,380 Well, she's around all day, so whenever. 202 00:09:59,480 --> 00:10:01,620 -We'll give you a shout. -Or I can bring her straight to you. 203 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,980 -At some point. -How about 5:30, exactly? 204 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:07,860 Great. OK. We can have a cup of tea in the canteen. 205 00:10:07,960 --> 00:10:09,980 So how's all the... How's all this coming on? 206 00:10:10,080 --> 00:10:12,220 If I'm honest, it's not that easy. 207 00:10:12,320 --> 00:10:15,740 Gavin's not got a very good telephone manner, to tell the truth. 208 00:10:15,840 --> 00:10:18,420 Ah! Well, listen all you need to do 209 00:10:18,520 --> 00:10:22,780 is think of places that hold a special meaning for us, as a couple. 210 00:10:22,880 --> 00:10:26,300 You'll be fine. I'll let you two get on with it. I'll see you all later. 211 00:10:26,400 --> 00:10:29,740 Right, I'll leave you to it, Gavin. I've got some work to do. 212 00:10:29,840 --> 00:10:31,860 Yes, please, go, do it. 213 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:34,180 -So what do we do now? -Somewhere that means 214 00:10:34,280 --> 00:10:35,980 something special to us. 215 00:10:36,080 --> 00:10:37,740 Gavin, I mean about the supermarket. 216 00:10:37,840 --> 00:10:40,460 Oh, sorry. Yes, of course. 217 00:10:40,560 --> 00:10:42,380 Of course! 218 00:10:42,480 --> 00:10:44,420 And that's it! 219 00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:46,780 Very good work, Katie. 220 00:10:46,880 --> 00:10:50,900 Honestly, Neville, it's like hanging about with your best mate all day. 221 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,260 Well, it's great to see you looking so well. 222 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,700 Oh, come on, Neville this isn't just well. 223 00:10:55,800 --> 00:10:58,740 Right, before this little one was like... 224 00:10:58,840 --> 00:11:01,500 Right? I was Colin light. 225 00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:05,140 Now, now, I'm like peak Colin. Look at Colin. 226 00:11:05,240 --> 00:11:08,300 Right? But the best thing of all, Nev, 227 00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:11,780 I don't have to waste my life away, like a bell-end, 228 00:11:11,880 --> 00:11:14,140 wearing a white hat all day. No offence. 229 00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:17,420 -It is quite offensive. -It is, isn't it? 230 00:11:17,520 --> 00:11:20,460 It is quite offensive. Yes, it is. Yes, it is. 231 00:11:20,560 --> 00:11:22,880 -I'll see you later, Nev. -Bye. 232 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,340 Cheryl, Cheryl! 233 00:11:29,440 --> 00:11:33,380 I've found us a venue at last and it's perfect. 234 00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:36,140 You brilliant man! Where is it? 235 00:11:36,240 --> 00:11:38,060 Well, I was thinking about what you said, 236 00:11:38,160 --> 00:11:40,460 about finding a venue that means something 237 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:42,420 and suddenly I realised... 238 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:44,380 {\an3}Arley Hall and Gardens for its excellent parking facilities. 239 00:11:44,480 --> 00:11:47,540 No. No. But it's been staring us in the face all this time. 240 00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:49,220 Hammerton Hotel and Conference Centre? 241 00:11:49,320 --> 00:11:51,900 No, but I'll never forget conference room 4. 242 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,900 -Still or sparkling? -Plain or lined? 243 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,980 -My printer's low on toner! -Let me refill your cartridge! 244 00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:58,180 -Print me! -Ooh! 245 00:11:58,280 --> 00:12:03,060 No, no. It's somewhere that's been a huge part of our relationship. 246 00:12:03,160 --> 00:12:06,540 Cheryl Fairweather, soon to be Strong, 247 00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:09,260 let me take you by the hand 248 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:12,060 and lead you to the most perfect 249 00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:15,180 wedding venue in Warrington. 250 00:12:15,280 --> 00:12:18,080 -(CHERYL LAUGHS) -Tah-dah! 251 00:12:19,080 --> 00:12:20,540 You've lost me. 252 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,260 That's because we've already arrived. 253 00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:24,580 I'm saying right here. 254 00:12:24,680 --> 00:12:28,480 In store. We should get married in Valco! 255 00:12:30,120 --> 00:12:32,400 (SHE SCREAMS) 256 00:12:43,520 --> 00:12:46,420 I'd like to be a dad one day. 257 00:12:46,520 --> 00:12:48,860 Mine left on a forever business trip when I was a child. 258 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:54,020 It was really sad, but at least we got a brand-new patio, like, the very next day. 259 00:12:54,120 --> 00:12:57,660 Ah, that's good news, innit? But, yeah, it's the best job in the world, mate. 260 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,700 Except in most jobs you hate every single person you work with. 261 00:13:00,800 --> 00:13:04,080 You draw angry pictures of them involved in road traffic accidents. 262 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,940 -Am I right or am I right? -Yeah, I'm going to say right. 263 00:13:09,040 --> 00:13:12,140 Definitely. Anyway, I'm going to get off. Ooh! 264 00:13:12,240 --> 00:13:16,140 {\an1}Log on to my arse book page and I'll see you in a bit. 265 00:13:16,240 --> 00:13:19,540 Hello, I'm Heather. 266 00:13:19,640 --> 00:13:22,960 Or you can call me Aunty Heather, or... 267 00:13:24,640 --> 00:13:27,620 Mummy, if you want. 268 00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,460 Would you like to go on an adventure? 269 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:31,700 A couple did it in a Morrisons in Derby 270 00:13:31,800 --> 00:13:33,300 and they were just customers. 271 00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,220 I would never have thought of this. 272 00:13:35,320 --> 00:13:37,140 {\an1}We've already got the catering facilities and everybody knows 273 00:13:37,240 --> 00:13:39,580 they do the best jacket potatoes this side of Runcorn. 274 00:13:39,680 --> 00:13:41,820 I just would never have thought of this. 275 00:13:41,920 --> 00:13:45,360 Yeah, I know, right. And this is the best bit. Just wait there. 276 00:13:46,680 --> 00:13:49,380 As you walk down the aisle, 277 00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,140 "aisle" be waiting here with the registrar, 278 00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:54,660 to say "aisle" do. 279 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:57,700 (SHE LAUGHS) In a supermarket! 280 00:13:57,800 --> 00:14:00,140 Isn't it wonderful? 281 00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:03,020 I just would never have thought of this 282 00:14:03,120 --> 00:14:06,300 in a million, million years! 283 00:14:06,400 --> 00:14:07,820 Ever! Ever! 284 00:14:07,920 --> 00:14:10,100 So this is the manager's formatting page. 285 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:12,220 Basically, you need the access codes 286 00:14:12,320 --> 00:14:15,420 to use this area because it allows you to alter pricing structures. 287 00:14:15,520 --> 00:14:18,260 And only I get to use them because I'm the most important? 288 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:20,620 {\an1}I don't mean important, do I? What do I mean? Do I mean... 289 00:14:20,720 --> 00:14:22,260 Do I mean amazing? 290 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:24,580 Or you could mean the manager 291 00:14:24,680 --> 00:14:26,780 that gets to access the pricing codes. 292 00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:29,740 -Yeah, that. I'm that. -I know. 293 00:14:29,840 --> 00:14:33,340 -Crazy how. So... -You don't like me much, do you, Katie? 294 00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,860 Or do you? I don't know. Genuine question. I can't really tell 295 00:14:35,960 --> 00:14:38,860 because sometimes your face is like, "Oh, she makes me so cross!" 296 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,180 Then other times it's just like...still. 297 00:14:41,280 --> 00:14:43,500 It's not that. It's just because I don't really know you, so... 298 00:14:43,600 --> 00:14:45,640 But you'd like to? 299 00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:48,620 -Yeah. -Yeeeeeah! 300 00:14:48,720 --> 00:14:52,500 Yeah! I won you round. I knew it. I knew I could. 301 00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:55,940 Whenever I meet someone and it's really obvious that they think I'm a twat, 302 00:14:56,040 --> 00:14:59,480 I make it my personal mission to get them to like me. 303 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:02,220 Ah! 304 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:06,660 Ooh! Moses! I'd give that a minute if I was you, Lis. 305 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:08,940 Yeah, it don't bother me, babe. 306 00:15:09,040 --> 00:15:12,860 (RETCHES) Christ, that's evil! Even for you. 307 00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:16,180 -I know. -Anyway, how come you're still here? 308 00:15:16,280 --> 00:15:18,280 Where's Baby? 309 00:15:19,600 --> 00:15:23,500 Ooh, where has she gone? I'm sure I left her around here somewhere. 310 00:15:23,600 --> 00:15:26,620 Uh! Darling, what kind of a dad do you take me for? 311 00:15:26,720 --> 00:15:30,100 I'm not just gonna drop her to run off for a dump. 312 00:15:30,200 --> 00:15:33,420 I'm sorry, babe. You're right. Cos if you had lost her... 313 00:15:33,520 --> 00:15:36,780 -Which I haven't... -Which you haven't. I'd be using your little scrotal sac 314 00:15:36,880 --> 00:15:38,880 as a bag for life. 315 00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:44,440 (RETCHES) 316 00:15:48,560 --> 00:15:51,460 -Aye, aye, aye, aye , aye. -What is it, Neville? 317 00:15:51,560 --> 00:15:54,940 Oh, no, no, nothing. Just wondering if I'll ever 318 00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:58,540 truly understand the complex workings of the female psyche. 319 00:15:58,640 --> 00:16:02,580 Why women in relationships prefer to drink alone, 320 00:16:02,680 --> 00:16:04,680 dine alone and make love alone. 321 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:07,700 Let me give you a shortcut, shall I? 322 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,100 Women get annoyed with having bell-ends for boyfriends. 323 00:16:10,200 --> 00:16:11,940 That's pretty much all you need to know. 324 00:16:12,040 --> 00:16:14,080 Loud and clear, Sue-bee-doo. Loud and clear. 325 00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:19,060 Baby, Baby, Baby? 326 00:16:19,160 --> 00:16:21,300 Oh, shit! 327 00:16:21,400 --> 00:16:23,940 Shit, shit! 328 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:26,900 -So how's it all going? -Really good, actually. 329 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,260 I just worked out how to do discounts on the computer, 330 00:16:29,360 --> 00:16:31,300 so now, as if by magic... 331 00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:34,180 Not, not magic. By hard managerial work. 332 00:16:34,280 --> 00:16:38,100 No, it wasn't even hard. I have put tablets on at £29.99. 333 00:16:38,200 --> 00:16:41,140 -You've done what? -It's a bargain, isn't it? 334 00:16:41,240 --> 00:16:43,020 I'm just going to do flat screens two for one now. 335 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:44,500 -No! -What, no? 336 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,740 -When did you do this? -What? 337 00:16:46,840 --> 00:16:48,740 Er, well, not that long ago. 338 00:16:48,840 --> 00:16:50,840 I doubt anyone will even have noticed. 339 00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:56,460 Oh. They've noticed, all right. 340 00:16:56,560 --> 00:16:59,540 I've only got Empathy Eric with me, hm? 341 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,620 And Anxious Andrew. 342 00:17:02,720 --> 00:17:05,100 Come on, Andrew, out you come. 343 00:17:05,200 --> 00:17:07,660 {\an1}It's just me and a baby here. No one can hurt you anymore. 344 00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:09,300 Come. 345 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,440 Oh! Hm? 346 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:13,420 Ah! 347 00:17:13,520 --> 00:17:15,180 Oh, I'm sorry. 348 00:17:15,280 --> 00:17:18,580 Are you OK, Andrew? Andrew, are you OK? 349 00:17:18,680 --> 00:17:21,340 -Donna, we may need your help. -I should say at this point 350 00:17:21,440 --> 00:17:23,500 that none of this is Katie's fault. 351 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,340 -Because it isn't. -I am happy to take the blame for this. 352 00:17:26,440 --> 00:17:29,460 {\an1}-Because it was your fault. -Everybody makes mistakes. 353 00:17:29,560 --> 00:17:33,260 -No, Lou, only you do. -Yeah, that is our story and we're sticking with it. 354 00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:36,660 OK, we've basically got some very stressed-out customers on the electronics aisle 355 00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:39,460 -due to a pricing error, so we may need your help. -Is this a crisis? 356 00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,180 -Yes, yes, it is. -No. 357 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:43,580 That's a shame. I've been told there's no crisis today 358 00:17:43,680 --> 00:17:45,900 and, due to the fact I've only got basic clearance, 359 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,660 -I'm unable to verify the situation. -OK! 360 00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:52,420 Fine. You get level-3 security clearance. 361 00:17:52,520 --> 00:17:55,180 Oh, God! Yes! 362 00:17:55,280 --> 00:17:58,460 -OK, so can we get your help? -Let's go. Are we talking tasers? 363 00:17:58,560 --> 00:18:01,460 No. And just to be clear again, we are never talking tasers. 364 00:18:01,560 --> 00:18:03,180 -Officially. -Or ever! 365 00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:05,500 -Until you get level-4 clearance. -Level 4? 366 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:08,740 -No one told me there was a level 4! -Because it doesn't exist! 367 00:18:08,840 --> 00:18:11,420 And we might need some hair dye. 368 00:18:11,520 --> 00:18:15,460 Not because I don't like your hair, Anton, but to stop people asking questions. 369 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:17,980 Ah, mate, there you are! 370 00:18:18,080 --> 00:18:20,100 I thought I'd lost her. I thought I'd lost my baby, 371 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:21,860 which means I'd lose my bollocks, and it's like, yes! 372 00:18:21,960 --> 00:18:24,340 No, this isn't your baby. He's mine. 373 00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:27,420 And he's called Anton. Tell him, Anton. 374 00:18:27,520 --> 00:18:30,540 Oh. That is proper bonkers, innit? 375 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:33,100 I mean, even for you. 376 00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,500 Congratulations, Heather, you have stepped it right up. 377 00:18:35,600 --> 00:18:37,220 OK, well, what if we raise her together? 378 00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:39,260 You're a bit younger than I usually go for... 379 00:18:39,360 --> 00:18:41,940 -I'll see you later, Heather. -OK, bye. 380 00:18:42,040 --> 00:18:43,060 Anton. 381 00:18:43,160 --> 00:18:46,020 OK, I'm really sorry, everybody, 382 00:18:46,120 --> 00:18:49,580 but it was just a typo. There are no tablets for sale at this price. 383 00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:54,060 -(GROANS) -Our apologies, but there are great deals to be had 384 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:56,380 at Valco every day of the week. 385 00:18:56,480 --> 00:18:59,220 (LAUGHS) Just not as good as that one. 386 00:18:59,320 --> 00:19:01,320 Sorry. 387 00:19:05,200 --> 00:19:07,200 Boo! 388 00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:12,580 Mum and Dad, and all the guests come in. 389 00:19:12,680 --> 00:19:14,980 Sit down on lovely tables with decorations. 390 00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:17,580 And then Gavin and I come through this door. 391 00:19:17,680 --> 00:19:20,500 Ladies and gentlemen, please be upstanding 392 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:22,420 for the bride and groom! 393 00:19:22,520 --> 00:19:25,640 (SHE IMITATES CHEERING AND APPLAUSE) 394 00:19:26,840 --> 00:19:27,940 Oh! 395 00:19:28,040 --> 00:19:29,620 Any top tips? 396 00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:31,380 Just be yourself? 397 00:19:31,480 --> 00:19:34,100 Depends if you want to keep your job or not. 398 00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:36,660 Cheryl, this is Lou. Lou, this is Cheryl. 399 00:19:36,760 --> 00:19:38,580 Hello. How are you? Lovely to meet you. 400 00:19:38,680 --> 00:19:43,460 Oh, and you. Thank you. Oh, you smell really good. 401 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:45,700 (LAUGHS) I'm not being thingy. 402 00:19:45,800 --> 00:19:47,940 Genuinely, she does. She does. 403 00:19:48,040 --> 00:19:50,980 That's really good and are you confident about the launch? 404 00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:54,060 Well, I wasn't and then... and then I was. 405 00:19:54,160 --> 00:19:56,100 Then I started to think, "Lou, this could be 406 00:19:56,200 --> 00:19:58,700 the most important day of your entire life." 407 00:19:58,800 --> 00:20:01,100 But do I really want it to be in a supermarket? 408 00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:03,500 Exactly! 409 00:20:03,600 --> 00:20:05,260 I'm really sorry, I've got to go. 410 00:20:05,360 --> 00:20:08,000 I've got to go and speak to Gavin. 411 00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,660 And that, my friend, is how to make an impression. 412 00:20:12,760 --> 00:20:15,960 Tssssh! Ooh! Eeeeen! Pfff! 413 00:20:20,880 --> 00:20:22,980 I don't want to get married in a supermarket. 414 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,500 -Oh, I see. -Look, I love this place, really I do, 415 00:20:25,600 --> 00:20:27,860 and I love how romantic the idea was. 416 00:20:27,960 --> 00:20:31,780 It's just that... I'm not sure I want to promise my undying love to you 417 00:20:31,880 --> 00:20:33,540 in the yoghurts and probiotics aisle. 418 00:20:33,640 --> 00:20:35,980 -Are you very disappointed? -No, it's fine. 419 00:20:36,080 --> 00:20:37,980 -Really? -Totally. If I'm honest, 420 00:20:38,080 --> 00:20:39,660 I don't think I'm up to this job. 421 00:20:39,760 --> 00:20:42,140 Sticks of rock with your names running through them, 422 00:20:42,240 --> 00:20:46,260 piñatas, centrepieces, uplighting, profiteroles! 423 00:20:46,360 --> 00:20:48,780 Profiteroles aren't that crazy. 424 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,060 It's all too much for me. 425 00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:53,060 I need help, and I need your help. 426 00:20:53,160 --> 00:20:57,220 OK, here's a thought. Why don't we plan this thing together? 427 00:20:57,320 --> 00:21:00,900 Like a manager and a regional area manager might run a branch of Valco. 428 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,740 Exactly like that. 429 00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:06,380 Only to be absolutely clear, not actually in a Valco. 430 00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:10,000 Oh, no! Absolutely, yes. Honeymoon maybe? 431 00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:14,300 -Do you reckon I should come back to work. -Yeah, totally. 432 00:21:14,400 --> 00:21:16,840 It's about time we got our sex life back on track. 433 00:21:19,400 --> 00:21:21,820 -Oh, Baby! -Oi! 434 00:21:21,920 --> 00:21:23,340 Get off! 435 00:21:23,440 --> 00:21:24,980 Pssst! 436 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:27,300 So what do you think of Lou then? 437 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,900 -Who? -The new night manager. 438 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,020 Oh, Lou! Lou! Lou! Oh! 439 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:35,860 No, I like her. I like her. Anyway, you chose her. 440 00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:38,820 So she's bound to be good, isn't she? 441 00:21:38,920 --> 00:21:41,760 -Yeah, yeah, no doubt. -Good luck with all that shizzle, Gizzle. 442 00:21:42,920 --> 00:21:46,140 Do you know I still have no idea what that means. 443 00:21:46,240 --> 00:21:48,240 OK!