1 00:00:01,600 --> 00:00:03,460 -Valco! -Serves you right. 2 00:00:03,560 --> 00:00:05,580 -I've prepared something. -It's OK! 3 00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:08,980 -Can she just stop that? -Don't forget our brilliant... 4 00:00:09,080 --> 00:00:11,300 -From booze to biscuits! -Red-hot deals. 5 00:00:11,400 --> 00:00:14,820 -Loads of two-for-ones. -The finest butchers, the freshest meat. 6 00:00:14,920 --> 00:00:19,380 -Now 24 hours a day. -Service with a smile. 7 00:00:19,480 --> 00:00:21,340 Friendly staff always happy to help. 8 00:00:21,440 --> 00:00:24,080 -Roger that. -Tick! 9 00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:26,620 Am I getting paid for this? 10 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:29,120 Valco, serves you right! 11 00:00:31,240 --> 00:00:32,660 Morning. 12 00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:36,060 -(HUMS) Good morning! -Oh! 13 00:00:36,160 --> 00:00:39,860 What in the name of San Pellegrino? 14 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:42,860 -We've been evacuated, Gavin. -Yes, we'll have to go home, Gav. 15 00:00:42,960 --> 00:00:45,860 -Lou? -Hi! Gavin! 16 00:00:45,960 --> 00:00:48,780 -How are you? You look really well. -What happened? 17 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:50,980 -Mm? What? -The... This? 18 00:00:51,080 --> 00:00:53,740 Oh? Well, um... 19 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:57,020 It's not a flood, which is good. In fact, it's pretty much the opposite of a flood. 20 00:00:57,120 --> 00:00:59,840 -It's a fire, clearly. -Yeah, baby one. 21 00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:03,260 Croissant noir? 22 00:01:03,360 --> 00:01:05,380 Oh, I've got this under control! 23 00:01:05,480 --> 00:01:08,380 Mr Strong, safe to approach. 24 00:01:08,480 --> 00:01:11,140 -Yeah, it's a bakery fire, sir. -Fire in the bakery. 25 00:01:11,240 --> 00:01:13,820 -Total write-off, I'm afraid. -Minor damage to two of the ovens. 26 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:15,820 -Possibly three. -We don't have three. 27 00:01:15,920 --> 00:01:17,780 -Unconfirmed. -You can reopen the rest of the store. 28 00:01:17,880 --> 00:01:20,300 Whoa, whoa, whoa! No one reopens anything 29 00:01:20,400 --> 00:01:23,340 until I've done a full safety check. 30 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:25,980 OK. Safe to reopen. 31 00:01:26,080 --> 00:01:29,900 Lou, Lou, Lou, this is a disaster! What on earth...? 32 00:01:30,000 --> 00:01:31,740 I think we need to look at the positives. Glass half full. 33 00:01:31,840 --> 00:01:33,580 -What? -Glass half full. Half full glasses. 34 00:01:33,680 --> 00:01:35,660 -Every cloud. -You're just saying words. 35 00:01:35,760 --> 00:01:38,500 Positive words. Anyway, I'm going to hand over to you now. 36 00:01:38,600 --> 00:01:40,660 -Have a great day. -Ah, no, no, no, you don't. 37 00:01:40,760 --> 00:01:44,220 No, no, this is on your watch. Head office are going to have kittens. 38 00:01:44,320 --> 00:01:46,940 Oh, God, I love kittens. Listen, you can tell them 39 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,620 that this would have been a lot worse if I hadn't rung the fire brigade almost immediately. 40 00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:54,380 -Almost? -I left it for half an hour to see if the fire died down. 41 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:56,060 Dear God! 42 00:01:56,160 --> 00:01:58,660 I wanted to be a fireman when I was a little kid. 43 00:01:58,760 --> 00:02:01,380 -Mmm! -An ambition, Colin, not like you. 44 00:02:01,480 --> 00:02:03,740 It just seemed like the natural choice for me. 45 00:02:03,840 --> 00:02:06,500 Cos I just kept starting fires. 46 00:02:06,600 --> 00:02:09,940 {\an1}My uncle's a fireman. He says they mainly sit about all day 47 00:02:10,040 --> 00:02:11,740 playing pool and watching porn. 48 00:02:11,840 --> 00:02:13,820 They're like my two specialist subjects. 49 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:17,660 Yep, Colin's like a porn encyclopedia. He watches them all. 50 00:02:17,760 --> 00:02:19,860 Yeah, it's like a labour of love for me. 51 00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,900 The best thing about it, a new video is uploaded every two seconds. 52 00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:25,060 He's like Rainman, but filthy! 53 00:02:25,160 --> 00:02:27,740 Right, now, back to work, everyone! 54 00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:31,060 Now, Colin, the area round the meat counter needs a mop. 55 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:34,700 And, Shai, will you stand by the front entrance to reassure people on the way in. 56 00:02:34,800 --> 00:02:37,100 -What shall I say? -Just tell them the truth. 57 00:02:37,200 --> 00:02:39,580 There's been a fire, but everything is fine now. 58 00:02:39,680 --> 00:02:43,380 Fire, fire, fire! We no longer have a fire. 59 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:45,980 -Excuse me, Gavin. -Listen, Margaret, I'm a little bit busy. 60 00:02:46,080 --> 00:02:49,340 I don't want to worry you, but there's been an alarm going off. 61 00:02:49,440 --> 00:02:53,780 -Oh, yes, for the fire. -I thought you should know in case it's something important. 62 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,820 -Yes, like a fire. -Oh, I hope not! 63 00:02:56,920 --> 00:02:59,900 I couldn't bear the fire alarm going off as well! 64 00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:02,000 Oh! 65 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:07,860 Harry, where were you on the night of the 14th? 66 00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:09,820 -Do you mean last night? -Yes. 67 00:03:09,920 --> 00:03:11,380 Why not just say that then? 68 00:03:11,480 --> 00:03:13,060 It's not how they talk in an investigation. 69 00:03:13,160 --> 00:03:16,520 -So, where were you? -I was out with some mates. 70 00:03:18,080 --> 00:03:21,180 -OK, I was at home with a girl. -Don't lie to me, Harry! 71 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:24,180 OK, I was at my nan's and I had a really bad nightmare 72 00:03:24,280 --> 00:03:27,420 and she's got loads of room in her bed. But I didn't start the fire, OK? 73 00:03:27,520 --> 00:03:28,980 Thank you. 74 00:03:29,080 --> 00:03:31,700 -Harry. -Don't write that down! 75 00:03:31,800 --> 00:03:33,800 Nan. 76 00:03:35,040 --> 00:03:37,680 Welcome to Valco. Your chances of dying are very slim. 77 00:03:39,240 --> 00:03:41,100 -Hello, Heather. -Don't look at me! 78 00:03:41,200 --> 00:03:43,180 OK. 79 00:03:43,280 --> 00:03:47,140 -OK, but don't tell Gavin. -What? 80 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:51,100 Isn't it obvious? I've lost my Valco name badge. 81 00:03:51,200 --> 00:03:54,380 Oh. I think Gavin's got more important things to worry about. 82 00:03:54,480 --> 00:03:57,620 You're just being kind. I'm going to be sacked. 83 00:03:57,720 --> 00:04:00,260 Mum's right. I'll end up on the streets. 84 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,260 -A Thai prostitute. -Don't cry, don't cry. 85 00:04:03,360 --> 00:04:05,980 I've got an idea. Cos... 86 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:10,660 Sometimes they keep spares. And here, I can... 87 00:04:10,760 --> 00:04:15,660 You can be Karen today. Ooh! I touched your hand! 88 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:19,180 I didn't... I didn't mean... I should be reassuring. 89 00:04:19,280 --> 00:04:21,860 You've reassured me. 90 00:04:21,960 --> 00:04:24,000 -See you later. -Bye. 91 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,140 Karen. 92 00:04:26,240 --> 00:04:27,580 Welcome to Valco. 93 00:04:27,680 --> 00:04:29,820 Your chances of dying are very slim! 94 00:04:29,920 --> 00:04:31,920 Karen, Karen. 95 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:33,820 Karen. 96 00:04:33,920 --> 00:04:35,060 I've been thinking, Nev. 97 00:04:35,160 --> 00:04:36,940 Gosh, this is a day of firsts. 98 00:04:37,040 --> 00:04:39,660 -About Little Colin. -Oh, right, do you mean your...? 99 00:04:39,760 --> 00:04:42,820 I mean, me as a kid, you knob-head. 100 00:04:42,920 --> 00:04:45,500 About my dreams, being a fireman. 101 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:48,540 Like, how can I - Big Colin - 102 00:04:48,640 --> 00:04:51,940 look at Little Colin in the eye, knowing that I just gave up? 103 00:04:52,040 --> 00:04:54,780 Well, working for Valco is a very worthwhile career. 104 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:58,980 I hold my head up high and say, I don't miss running my own company. 105 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:03,380 My corner office. The living wage. An actual chair. 106 00:05:03,480 --> 00:05:05,740 But I'm not like you, am I, Neville? 107 00:05:05,840 --> 00:05:08,980 -I ain't a loser. -No, no, very true. 108 00:05:09,080 --> 00:05:11,780 Right. I'm going to have to and give Little Colin a cuddle. 109 00:05:11,880 --> 00:05:14,740 And this time, I do mean my penis. Yes! 110 00:05:14,840 --> 00:05:17,180 Hi. Can I get some mince, please? 111 00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,420 Certainly, madam. Would you like lamb or beef? 112 00:05:19,520 --> 00:05:21,340 If I can have the, um... 113 00:05:21,440 --> 00:05:23,860 -Oh, shitting hell! -Christ! Are you alright? 114 00:05:23,960 --> 00:05:26,260 -I think so. -Colin, could you get an icepack? 115 00:05:26,360 --> 00:05:29,340 I can't, Nev, I have to put Little Colin first now. 116 00:05:29,440 --> 00:05:31,700 Are you alright? 117 00:05:31,800 --> 00:05:34,820 -Yeah! -Is it...? Ooh! Um... 118 00:05:34,920 --> 00:05:38,140 Yes, just a very minor fire. 119 00:05:38,240 --> 00:05:40,580 The store was only closed for about 15 minutes. 120 00:05:40,680 --> 00:05:44,740 More like three hours, Gav. Any less would have been dangerous, you loon! 121 00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:48,380 Um... Yes, yes. I'll arrange the engineer this end. 122 00:05:48,480 --> 00:05:50,940 Thank you, June. Yeah. Bye! 123 00:05:51,040 --> 00:05:52,420 Right. 124 00:05:52,520 --> 00:05:55,220 Right, that's HQ off the scent for a bit. 125 00:05:55,320 --> 00:05:57,660 Yeah, good. Fuck off, June! 126 00:05:57,760 --> 00:05:59,260 It's like a bloody nanny state! 127 00:05:59,360 --> 00:06:01,180 Lou, this is a very serious matter. 128 00:06:01,280 --> 00:06:03,220 There was a fire in the store. 129 00:06:03,320 --> 00:06:05,420 -Right, people could have died. -Well, not really. 130 00:06:05,520 --> 00:06:07,660 The store was completely empty. We hadn't had any customers for hours. 131 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,620 -I had sent most of the staff home! -You what? 132 00:06:10,720 --> 00:06:13,100 -(KNOCK ON DOOR) -Yes, hello. Come in. 133 00:06:13,200 --> 00:06:15,580 I think we've discovered the cause of the fire. 134 00:06:15,680 --> 00:06:18,420 Somebody put something flammable in one of the ovens. 135 00:06:18,520 --> 00:06:21,220 -Arson? -Potentially. 136 00:06:21,320 --> 00:06:23,440 Oh, Gavin. 137 00:06:24,960 --> 00:06:27,900 I have a horrible feeling this could be my fault. 138 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:31,260 You see, I was up here when an urgent fax for you came through. 139 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:34,940 -Urgent, yeah? What did it say? -I don't know because I spilt minestrone soup all over it. 140 00:06:35,040 --> 00:06:37,220 I always grab a tin off the shelves. It's a perk of the job. 141 00:06:37,320 --> 00:06:39,660 -Really, it's not. -So I popped downstairs. 142 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:42,260 And I just put the fax into one of the ovens to dry out... 143 00:06:42,360 --> 00:06:46,500 -Ovens? -Suddenly, I remembered that I had left my phone at home. 144 00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:49,740 I always play Candy Crush during my soup break. It helps me completely forget about work. 145 00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:52,260 You're not supposed to forget about your work! 146 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:56,260 -So I very, very quickly drove home. -You what? 147 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:59,940 Chill out, Gav. I was gone half an hour, an hour, tops. 148 00:07:00,040 --> 00:07:03,980 Certainly, no more than two. You can probably guess where I'm headed with this. 149 00:07:04,080 --> 00:07:08,380 -I think I can. -I think it was then that the arsonist snuck into the store 150 00:07:08,480 --> 00:07:10,460 and put something into one of the ovens. 151 00:07:10,560 --> 00:07:12,540 Presumably, also stealing your fax, 152 00:07:12,640 --> 00:07:14,860 -because I never saw it again. -Lou. 153 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:17,860 The fax was the flammable object. 154 00:07:17,960 --> 00:07:20,380 Someone sent a flammable fax. That's insane. 155 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:23,660 Paper burns when you put it in the oven. 156 00:07:23,760 --> 00:07:26,040 You caused the fire. 157 00:07:30,240 --> 00:07:32,700 How's it looking? Is there an egg? 158 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:35,740 -Ooh, there is a bit. -Oh, no! Does it look horrible? 159 00:07:35,840 --> 00:07:38,260 No, not at all. You wear it very well. 160 00:07:38,360 --> 00:07:39,900 You're very sweet. 161 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,740 Is there someone I can call to pick you up? 162 00:07:42,840 --> 00:07:46,740 Um, not really. I can't call my husband. 163 00:07:46,840 --> 00:07:49,940 Or my best friend. Not now they're both on the same number. 164 00:07:50,040 --> 00:07:52,780 Ah, yes. I know that scenario well. 165 00:07:52,880 --> 00:07:54,780 -Oh, really? -Indeed. Yes. 166 00:07:54,880 --> 00:07:57,540 I always say it's just nice to see them both so happy, 167 00:07:57,640 --> 00:07:59,500 -at last. -Oh, absolutely! 168 00:07:59,600 --> 00:08:02,260 I could never go back to a separate kitchen and bedroom. 169 00:08:02,360 --> 00:08:04,660 I've even got new windows now. 170 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,380 I finally had them replaced after the gas explosion. 171 00:08:07,480 --> 00:08:11,460 I always say, you've never really rented a place until you've been... 172 00:08:11,560 --> 00:08:13,340 -(BOTH) Blown out of it. -Jinx! 173 00:08:13,440 --> 00:08:16,100 -Jinx! -I'm Neville, by the way. 174 00:08:16,200 --> 00:08:18,200 Oh, Meg. Oh! 175 00:08:19,400 --> 00:08:20,620 -Ice. -Ice. 176 00:08:20,720 --> 00:08:21,740 Baby. 177 00:08:21,840 --> 00:08:23,580 (GIGGLES) Ow! 178 00:08:23,680 --> 00:08:26,580 Go on, ask him, before he goes! 179 00:08:26,680 --> 00:08:29,140 -Don't be such a wuss! -I'm not a wuss. 180 00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:33,940 Excuse me! Colin wants to know how you become a fireman? It's his childhood dream. 181 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:36,420 -Yeah? -Yes, sir. 182 00:08:36,520 --> 00:08:38,660 We've got a station visit today. 183 00:08:38,760 --> 00:08:41,540 It's mainly schoolkids and that, but... Well. 184 00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:45,340 -(WHISPERS) Fire truck? -Will there be a fire truck? 185 00:08:45,440 --> 00:08:47,440 Er, yeah. 186 00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:51,220 -(WHISPERS) Yes. -He says yes. 187 00:08:51,320 --> 00:08:53,660 Right. Pop down later then. 188 00:08:53,760 --> 00:08:55,760 Yes, sir. 189 00:08:56,800 --> 00:09:00,140 Oh, God! Fireman Colin, how does that sound? 190 00:09:00,240 --> 00:09:02,060 Like a really shit kids' programme. 191 00:09:02,160 --> 00:09:05,820 {\an1}Oh, babes! The thought of you with a massive yellow helmet. 192 00:09:05,920 --> 00:09:08,580 -Like when I had that liver problem? -And the blue boiler suit. 193 00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:10,780 Yeah, this chick, Harry, she loves a guy in uniform. 194 00:09:10,880 --> 00:09:13,500 Yeah, my first boyfriend was a lollipop man. 195 00:09:13,600 --> 00:09:17,540 I better prepare, man. I'm going to be in the bogs, studying. 196 00:09:17,640 --> 00:09:19,260 Oh, babes! 197 00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:21,260 Are you sure you're not singed? 198 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:24,740 {\an3}No, look, I'm absolutely fine. Fine, I'm just a little warm. 199 00:09:24,840 --> 00:09:28,900 But, look, we really need to talk about this 24-hour business. 200 00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,500 I completely agree. I mean, it just seems like Lou's not up to the job. 201 00:09:32,600 --> 00:09:35,340 -No, I don't think it's that. -I know you believe in her, my love. 202 00:09:35,440 --> 00:09:38,380 After all, you hired her, but could it be 203 00:09:38,480 --> 00:09:41,460 {\an1}that she's pulled a fast one on us and lied about her CV? 204 00:09:41,560 --> 00:09:45,220 I just think it's the whole idea of the Valco 24 that's the problem. 205 00:09:45,320 --> 00:09:47,460 Yeah, but head office have made their mind up now. 206 00:09:47,560 --> 00:09:50,660 They've rolled it out. They're not gonna change their mind. 207 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:52,540 It'd be like turning round the Titanic. 208 00:09:52,640 --> 00:09:55,140 That's what they should've done. Valco's heading for an iceberg 209 00:09:55,240 --> 00:09:56,980 and we're shuffling the deckchairs. 210 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,540 Sounds like we have a dodgy deckchair, my love. 211 00:09:59,640 --> 00:10:03,580 Either lose Lou's frame is rotten or her canvas is torn. Either way, we can't sit on her. 212 00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:05,940 Well, her canvas may be a little unconventional, 213 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:10,100 but her frame is strong and willing. It's this ruddy great 24-hour iceberg 214 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:14,860 we've got to worry about. Do you want us all to die in an icy sea 215 00:10:14,960 --> 00:10:17,100 having never known true love? 216 00:10:17,200 --> 00:10:20,340 No, you've seen this film more than I have. I'm a bit lost now. 217 00:10:20,440 --> 00:10:23,400 Oh, yeah. I'm sorry, love. 218 00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:29,500 I mean, I suppose the point is, 219 00:10:29,600 --> 00:10:33,720 do you want to take action on Lou now or do you want me to? 220 00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,940 Hi, Margaret, here are some refills. 221 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:39,580 Thanks...Karen, love. 222 00:10:39,680 --> 00:10:42,460 Ka...? Oh, oh, yeah, Karen. 223 00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:44,920 No probs, M. 224 00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:49,300 Uh! Proper hungover today. 225 00:10:49,400 --> 00:10:52,020 -Oh, big night, was it? -Oh, yeah! 226 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:56,540 Got back late, had a massive row with my boyfriend. Wanker! 227 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:58,300 -Oh, dear. -Oh! 228 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:01,380 Yeah. Yeah! He's a biker. 229 00:11:01,480 --> 00:11:04,980 -And a rapper. -Oh, he sounds a bit rough. 230 00:11:05,080 --> 00:11:07,100 Oh, he is, M. But what can I do? 231 00:11:07,200 --> 00:11:09,820 I love him. D'you know what I mean? 232 00:11:09,920 --> 00:11:11,620 Oh, yeah, I do, love, yeah. 233 00:11:11,720 --> 00:11:15,100 I hope it all works out for you...Karen, love. 234 00:11:15,200 --> 00:11:18,820 Doubt it, but that's just Karen's life, eh? 235 00:11:18,920 --> 00:11:20,660 Yeah. Catch you later, M. 236 00:11:20,760 --> 00:11:22,760 Yeah. 237 00:11:30,840 --> 00:11:33,740 -I feel so silly. -Not at all. 238 00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:36,980 If I had a pound for every time I'd smashed my face into something, 239 00:11:37,080 --> 00:11:40,220 -I could afford reconstructive surgery. -Oh, Neville! 240 00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,320 I think you look nice. 241 00:11:44,240 --> 00:11:48,180 Right, well, I'd better get back to my...meat. 242 00:11:48,280 --> 00:11:51,700 {\an1}Yes, and I should get back to my car before I get a ticket. 243 00:11:51,800 --> 00:11:54,920 -It's free parking here. -It never stops me getting one. 244 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:57,940 Well, it was lovely to meet you, Meg. 245 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,380 Yes, and you, Neville. Thank you. 246 00:12:00,480 --> 00:12:02,380 My saviour! 247 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:04,140 -Oh. -(SHE LAUGHS) 248 00:12:04,240 --> 00:12:06,420 Bye. Thank you. Thank you for everything. 249 00:12:06,520 --> 00:12:08,540 -Oh! -Ow! 250 00:12:08,640 --> 00:12:10,300 I'm alright. Just my leg. 251 00:12:10,400 --> 00:12:12,400 I'm alright. 252 00:12:12,920 --> 00:12:15,240 Oh! Oh! Ow! 253 00:12:17,200 --> 00:12:20,020 Like yum yum's, do you, Shai? 254 00:12:20,120 --> 00:12:22,820 -Yeah. (CHUCKLES) -Fresh out of the oven, Shai? 255 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:24,540 I suppose. 256 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:26,660 -You did it, didn't you?! -Did what? 257 00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:30,300 You caused the fire. You came in during the night shift, 258 00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:34,180 turned the ovens on, so you could get your hands on just one 259 00:12:34,280 --> 00:12:38,300 sweet piece of pastry. But you turned it up too high. 260 00:12:38,400 --> 00:12:40,220 Didn't you, Shai? 261 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:42,880 And you burnt the goddamn place down. 262 00:12:45,400 --> 00:12:46,580 No. 263 00:12:46,680 --> 00:12:48,860 Oh? 264 00:12:48,960 --> 00:12:51,060 I was kinda counting on you saying yes to that bit. 265 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:52,660 Oh. Sorry. 266 00:12:52,760 --> 00:12:54,820 -(CHUCKLES) -Right. Well, that's all I got. 267 00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:57,660 Thanks, mate. You couldn't just, um... 268 00:12:57,760 --> 00:13:00,520 -Oh, yeah. Can I have...? -Nope. Thank you. 269 00:13:05,760 --> 00:13:09,180 -Oi-oi! It's fireman Colin! -Oh, babes, I love it. 270 00:13:09,280 --> 00:13:11,460 -Fine, why wouldn't it be? -So you signed up then? 271 00:13:11,560 --> 00:13:15,180 -Yeah, yeah, of course, yeah. -Oh, my God, Colin, you did it! 272 00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:18,380 -I'm going to be shagging a fireman again. -You what? 273 00:13:18,480 --> 00:13:20,740 I mean, I'm going to be shagging a fireman. 274 00:13:20,840 --> 00:13:24,380 I'm gonna miss you, Colin, like a brother. A violent, perverted brother. 275 00:13:24,480 --> 00:13:27,500 Yeah, mate. I've got to say, you're an absolute inspiration. 276 00:13:27,600 --> 00:13:30,700 I'm lying! I'm lying! I couldn't do it. 277 00:13:30,800 --> 00:13:33,020 It wasn't what I was expecting, Lis, like. 278 00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,140 They haven't even got a pool table. 279 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,940 And they don't watch anywhere near as much porn as they used to. 280 00:13:38,040 --> 00:13:41,380 -Yeah, that'll be the cuts. -And firemen are mugs, right? 281 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:43,260 They showed me this training video. 282 00:13:43,360 --> 00:13:46,380 And they actually run into buildings when they're on fire. 283 00:13:46,480 --> 00:13:48,540 -That is rather the point. -It's fucking stupid! 284 00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:50,700 -Neville doesn't even run into fires. -Not knowingly. 285 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,180 -What was Little Colin thinking. -Are you serious? 286 00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:57,380 You chickened out cos it was too dangerous? Oh, Colin! 287 00:13:57,480 --> 00:14:01,860 -I wanted a man in uniform! -Hello! I've got one. Valco! 288 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:03,220 God! 289 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,420 Lisa, ambition kills! 290 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:08,060 You are so not getting any tonight! 291 00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:10,140 Oh! 292 00:14:10,240 --> 00:14:12,240 Lis! 293 00:14:13,440 --> 00:14:15,460 Excuse me, are these on special? 294 00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:18,260 -Two for one, love. -Great, thanks. 295 00:14:18,360 --> 00:14:21,820 -Drama? Let Karen tell you about drama. -Sorry? 296 00:14:21,920 --> 00:14:26,140 I come home, there he is, doing the dirty. Guess who with? 297 00:14:26,240 --> 00:14:28,380 -What? -Only my sister! 298 00:14:28,480 --> 00:14:30,780 My own flesh and blood. 299 00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:34,260 The other mums on the estate, they say to me, "Karen, you're too nice, you are. 300 00:14:34,360 --> 00:14:38,540 He's muggin' you off." But I can't help it, can I? I love him. 301 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:41,080 That's just Karen's life, eh? 302 00:14:44,080 --> 00:14:46,080 Hiya, Gavin. 303 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:48,980 Oooh! 304 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:52,060 You've got a face like a smacked bum. What's the matter? 305 00:14:52,160 --> 00:14:54,820 I've done a terrible, terrible thing, Margaret. 306 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:57,700 Something I am truly ashamed of. 307 00:14:57,800 --> 00:15:00,500 It's not one of them dodgy internet searches, is it? 308 00:15:00,600 --> 00:15:05,020 No, no. I've just played some wicked games on people, 309 00:15:05,120 --> 00:15:08,180 like some sort of evil puppet master. 310 00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:12,060 Well, my Alan always says, "Anybody can screw up, 311 00:15:12,160 --> 00:15:15,900 but it takes a special person to fix it." 312 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:19,100 He said that to our son when he were done for murder. 313 00:15:19,200 --> 00:15:23,080 -Murder?! -Oh! No, I mean speeding. 314 00:15:25,880 --> 00:15:28,220 Hi! Gavin. Sorry. 315 00:15:28,320 --> 00:15:31,900 I came as soon as I got your message. You wanted to talk to me. 316 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,620 Yeah. Do you want to finish brushing your teeth first, Lou? 317 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:37,080 Yeah, that'd be brilliant. Hold this. 318 00:15:46,040 --> 00:15:48,260 -Clean? -Very nice. 319 00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:52,060 -So what did you want to say? -Listen, we're going to have to talk to Cheryl 320 00:15:52,160 --> 00:15:55,980 -about the fire this morning. -Sure. I'm going to tell her it was all my fault. 321 00:15:56,080 --> 00:15:58,660 If you say that, she'll have no choice but to sack you. 322 00:15:58,760 --> 00:16:00,780 I would hate that. 323 00:16:00,880 --> 00:16:03,380 I love having a job, finally. I love all the... 324 00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:06,740 -free soup and DVDs. -What you took the DVDs too?! 325 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:09,480 Only for my kids. (SOBS) 326 00:16:10,760 --> 00:16:13,700 Sorry, I'm just imaging getting home, 327 00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:17,580 seeing their little disappointed faces. "Mummy's failed again." 328 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:19,980 -Oh, I'm so sorry, Lou. -You mustn't feel bad. 329 00:16:20,080 --> 00:16:23,700 -You have always been fair, always been honest. -I haven't, Lou. 330 00:16:23,800 --> 00:16:28,420 But I can fix this. Now, Cheryl is as cunning as a fox 331 00:16:28,520 --> 00:16:30,880 and as wily as a... 332 00:16:32,160 --> 00:16:35,140 ..another fox, but I know that woman so well, 333 00:16:35,240 --> 00:16:37,780 and I know what she's going to ask you, so all you've got to do 334 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:40,600 is to learn the answers. Do you understand? 335 00:16:42,640 --> 00:16:45,500 ♪ I'm putting away the meat 336 00:16:45,600 --> 00:16:49,260 ♪ I'm saying goodbye to the old chuck steak 337 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:51,940 ♪ I'm putting away the meat! 338 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,140 ♪ And wrapping up the sausages 339 00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,140 -♪ Nice and neat. ♪ -Meg! 340 00:16:56,240 --> 00:17:01,620 -Did you forget something? -Yes. I... I forgot to ask... 341 00:17:01,720 --> 00:17:04,840 if, um, if you would like to come up to mine for dinner? 342 00:17:05,680 --> 00:17:07,680 On a date? 343 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:10,020 Gosh, well, I, um... 344 00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:11,940 Oh, sorry. I should've known 345 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:14,500 someone like you wouldn't be single. You bloody fool, Meg! 346 00:17:14,600 --> 00:17:17,300 Do you know what? I would absolutely love to. 347 00:17:17,400 --> 00:17:21,180 {\an1}That's amazing! Oh, I don't have a table and I'm a terrible cook. 348 00:17:21,280 --> 00:17:24,460 Not a problem. I'd take you to a restaurant, but I've less money than a beggar. 349 00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:26,180 (THEY LAUGH) 350 00:17:26,280 --> 00:17:27,740 So it's a date then? 351 00:17:27,840 --> 00:17:30,140 Yes, I think it just might be that. 352 00:17:30,240 --> 00:17:33,460 Yes, back on the old horse, Neville. Back in the saddle. 353 00:17:33,560 --> 00:17:34,940 -Yee-ha! -Oh! 354 00:17:35,040 --> 00:17:36,580 Sorry. 355 00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:39,900 -(KNOCK ON DOOR) -Come in. 356 00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,940 Ah, Lou. Lou, good. Come and take a seat, will you? 357 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:45,060 Quick as you can. 358 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:47,300 I'm sorry to drag you in early. 359 00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:49,540 I wanted to have a quick chat with you about the night shifts. 360 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:52,780 Yes, completely fine. I was just here anyway. 361 00:17:52,880 --> 00:17:57,180 I was...working on my sales plan for tonight. 362 00:17:57,280 --> 00:18:01,380 That's good, because that was actually something that I wanted to talk to you about. 363 00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:04,100 Um, figures are quite down. 364 00:18:04,200 --> 00:18:07,080 -Aren't they? Any idea why? -Yes. 365 00:18:11,440 --> 00:18:13,440 Stock! 366 00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:15,760 Right, go on. 367 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,100 -Yucky! They don't like it! -Sorry? 368 00:18:20,200 --> 00:18:22,700 Oh! Oh! 369 00:18:22,800 --> 00:18:25,100 -Eeugh! -The night customers don't like the stock. 370 00:18:25,200 --> 00:18:27,940 You mean, we're not catering to their tastes? 371 00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:32,340 -Yes. -So would a separate order for the night customers be useful? 372 00:18:32,440 --> 00:18:35,620 -Yeah. -Good. Great. Let's put that down. Separate order. 373 00:18:35,720 --> 00:18:37,860 Great. Anything else? 374 00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,120 Er...? 375 00:18:41,360 --> 00:18:44,220 -Hand above. -Excuse me? 376 00:18:44,320 --> 00:18:46,420 Hand top? Hand on top? Handover! 377 00:18:46,520 --> 00:18:49,060 {\an3}You mean, a better handover between your staff and mine? 378 00:18:49,160 --> 00:18:52,060 -What a great idea! -No, no, I agree. 379 00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:54,900 And then you could prepare the display for the night customers 380 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,620 -who are looking for different products. -Exactly! 381 00:18:57,720 --> 00:19:00,580 -Exactly, Lou! -No, that all makes sense. 382 00:19:00,680 --> 00:19:03,140 -Doesn't it? -That is great! 383 00:19:03,240 --> 00:19:05,220 And I was thinking, what about a bar? 384 00:19:05,320 --> 00:19:09,100 -What? -Yeah, I thinking how about a bar in the store? 385 00:19:09,200 --> 00:19:11,620 Cos I have noticed that the night customers, 386 00:19:11,720 --> 00:19:13,420 a lot of them, they really like a drink. 387 00:19:13,520 --> 00:19:16,780 And, my God, I need one just to get through the shift! 388 00:19:16,880 --> 00:19:18,980 Mr Strong, I've got the arsonist in custody. 389 00:19:19,080 --> 00:19:21,860 -Oh, Donna, thank God you're here. -You're not going to like this. 390 00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:23,380 But... 391 00:19:23,480 --> 00:19:26,880 (LAUGHS) Yoo-hoo! Isn't this exciting? 392 00:19:30,840 --> 00:19:32,580 Hey, Heather. 393 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:34,460 Hello, Sunshine! 394 00:19:34,560 --> 00:19:36,840 Didn't know you smoked. 395 00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:42,660 Karen's. Can't seem to kick 'em. My only pleasure, see? 396 00:19:42,760 --> 00:19:47,460 Right. Well, I just came to say that I found your name badge. 397 00:19:47,560 --> 00:19:51,280 Oh, Heather! Seems like a lifetime since anyone called me that. 398 00:19:52,800 --> 00:19:54,840 I just did, but... 399 00:19:56,080 --> 00:19:58,160 Take care, Sunshine. 400 00:19:59,400 --> 00:20:01,400 Be lucky! 401 00:20:05,800 --> 00:20:08,420 So was that a no to the bar? I got confused back there. 402 00:20:08,520 --> 00:20:11,060 -Yes, yes, it's a no. -Right. 403 00:20:11,160 --> 00:20:14,380 Gavin, I'm really sorry about last night. I feel like I've really let you down. 404 00:20:14,480 --> 00:20:17,220 It could have happened to anyone who hadn't been trained properly by their manager. 405 00:20:17,320 --> 00:20:19,060 Yeah, well, I've had like zero training. 406 00:20:19,160 --> 00:20:21,100 {\an3}I know. So, Lou, we're going to keep you on, but listen, 407 00:20:21,200 --> 00:20:24,060 I am putting my private parts on the guillotine here. 408 00:20:24,160 --> 00:20:29,020 Not literally. What I mean is, I'm taking a big risk. 409 00:20:29,120 --> 00:20:32,980 -So I just need total focus from you. -You've got it 110%. 410 00:20:33,080 --> 00:20:35,400 100 is the maximum, but do we have a deal, Lou? 411 00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:40,420 What? Sorry. Yes. Yes! 412 00:20:40,520 --> 00:20:43,180 Just there was a piece of dust floating 413 00:20:43,280 --> 00:20:45,660 -and it looked like a fairy. -Come on! 414 00:20:45,760 --> 00:20:47,900 -It's hot. -It's for you that. I borrowed it off my mate. 415 00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,540 -Hey, come on, make me cross the road. -OK, idiot! 416 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:52,740 -Cross the road. -Yeah! 417 00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,380 -Ooh! -(LISA CHUCKLES) 418 00:20:54,480 --> 00:20:56,900 Whoa-ho! Did you like that? 419 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,100 Thank you. 420 00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:01,200 Oh! 421 00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,120 -It's just, um... -Right. 422 00:21:08,240 --> 00:21:10,740 Now, are you sure you're going to be OK? 423 00:21:10,840 --> 00:21:12,980 You've got to relax, Gavster. What am I going to do? 424 00:21:13,080 --> 00:21:15,720 Set fire to the store?! 425 00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,200 Shai!