1 00:00:08,130 --> 00:00:09,826 Hussey. You're a wife and mother. 2 00:00:09,849 --> 00:00:11,890 You're scum, you're scum. 3 00:00:14,890 --> 00:00:16,705 Slut! 4 00:00:16,730 --> 00:00:19,449 Ah, you'll be judged. Judged on Earth. 5 00:00:58,490 --> 00:01:00,530 I saw the crowds. 6 00:01:02,090 --> 00:01:04,186 How was the reception? 7 00:01:04,209 --> 00:01:05,986 Rapturous, what do you want? 8 00:01:06,010 --> 00:01:08,105 You've played a spirited game but we both know 9 00:01:08,129 --> 00:01:11,105 you don't have the guts for this. Do we really? 10 00:01:11,129 --> 00:01:14,745 Margaret, I want to give you one last chance 11 00:01:14,769 --> 00:01:17,385 because I'm an honourable man. 12 00:01:17,409 --> 00:01:21,329 I'll go in there, talk to my QC and this will all be over. 13 00:01:22,530 --> 00:01:25,129 There'll be no need for you to be confronted with... 14 00:01:26,730 --> 00:01:28,450 ..the evidence. 15 00:01:30,569 --> 00:01:32,409 Just nod your head. 16 00:01:37,770 --> 00:01:40,385 Hadn't you better take your seat? 17 00:01:40,409 --> 00:01:43,186 In the matter of Argyll versus Argyll 18 00:01:43,210 --> 00:01:46,090 the court now calls Margaret, Duchess of Argyll. 19 00:02:56,610 --> 00:02:58,729 I once saw you at the Cafe de Paris. 20 00:03:00,729 --> 00:03:04,306 You were coming down the stairs all eyes were on you - 21 00:03:04,330 --> 00:03:06,449 the famous Mrs Sweeney. 22 00:03:10,050 --> 00:03:12,506 I won't be Mrs Sweeney for much longer. 23 00:03:12,530 --> 00:03:15,825 Yes, I've heard that, you're divorcing him, desertion. 24 00:03:15,849 --> 00:03:19,329 Man's a fool - if you were mine, I'd never let you out of my sight. 25 00:03:22,569 --> 00:03:24,409 If you were mine. 26 00:03:30,449 --> 00:03:32,729 Captain Ian Campbell. I know who you are. 27 00:03:36,329 --> 00:03:38,466 What happened next? 28 00:03:38,490 --> 00:03:40,545 I can't have just walked down the staircase. 29 00:03:40,569 --> 00:03:45,490 Well, you descended the stairs and I was enchanted. 30 00:03:47,170 --> 00:03:49,865 Utterly bewitched. 31 00:03:49,889 --> 00:03:53,825 I said, "There's a girl I'm going to marry." 32 00:03:53,849 --> 00:03:57,066 Who did you say that to? Janet, my wife. 33 00:03:57,090 --> 00:04:01,466 I rather think it's why she divorced me, my first wife that is. 34 00:04:01,490 --> 00:04:03,906 I wonder what reason your second will give. 35 00:04:03,930 --> 00:04:07,250 Oh, she'll never divorce me, no matter how hard I try. 36 00:04:08,610 --> 00:04:11,289 Well, you should try harder, put your... 37 00:04:13,530 --> 00:04:15,449 ..back into it. 38 00:04:17,810 --> 00:04:20,089 You have a delicious little stammer. 39 00:04:22,810 --> 00:04:24,850 It's never been called that before. 40 00:04:26,529 --> 00:04:28,466 You keep a diary? 41 00:04:28,490 --> 00:04:30,105 Doesn't everyone? 42 00:04:30,129 --> 00:04:32,586 Do you know what I think? 43 00:04:32,610 --> 00:04:36,146 You should put a thick line through all those boring appointments 44 00:04:36,170 --> 00:04:39,490 and write, "off to Scotland with Captain Campbell." 45 00:04:41,610 --> 00:04:45,129 Should I? You can join me while I take care of some family business. 46 00:04:47,009 --> 00:04:48,689 I'll be a perfect gentleman. 47 00:04:49,810 --> 00:04:51,889 In that case I'll stay at home. 48 00:05:56,610 --> 00:05:58,745 Yvonne! 49 00:05:58,769 --> 00:06:02,425 Margaret. Yvonne McPherson my wonderful assistant. 50 00:06:02,449 --> 00:06:04,786 Woman's a bloody godsend. 51 00:06:04,810 --> 00:06:07,050 Where are they? In the library. 52 00:06:09,889 --> 00:06:12,065 I wouldn't come in if I were you. 53 00:06:12,089 --> 00:06:15,346 Place is a play pit, cold as a morgue. 54 00:06:15,370 --> 00:06:18,569 Take a look around the grounds and then we'll go for some dinner. 55 00:06:20,250 --> 00:06:22,449 Let's see cousin Niall. 56 00:06:23,449 --> 00:06:25,625 I've read so much about you. 57 00:06:25,649 --> 00:06:29,209 Seen your photograph so often I feel I know you. 58 00:06:30,649 --> 00:06:32,425 Do you? 59 00:06:32,449 --> 00:06:34,290 Yvonne! 60 00:06:48,290 --> 00:06:50,449 Christ I'm dreading this. 61 00:06:55,529 --> 00:06:57,848 Hello, Niall. 62 00:07:02,370 --> 00:07:04,649 Really quite incredibly hungry. 63 00:07:08,449 --> 00:07:11,745 Well. We could sell an island or maybe some land. 64 00:07:11,769 --> 00:07:15,146 Do it then, but not Tobermory - Tobermory's off limits, 65 00:07:15,170 --> 00:07:18,425 it's sacrosanct. Sell Tyree or some of the other land. 66 00:07:18,449 --> 00:07:20,985 It still wouldn't be enough to cover the cost of essential work 67 00:07:21,009 --> 00:07:22,865 needed to the castle. 68 00:07:22,889 --> 00:07:26,105 We can't even start repairs while the Duke is still alive. 69 00:07:26,129 --> 00:07:30,105 As he's so fiercely against anything he perceives as intrusion. 70 00:07:30,129 --> 00:07:32,706 Well, he believes in fairies, perhaps it would help 71 00:07:32,730 --> 00:07:35,050 if you wore little wings and carried a wand. 72 00:07:36,370 --> 00:07:39,985 You said you would consider an income from the estate for me. 73 00:07:40,009 --> 00:07:42,706 We discussed it and we agreed. 74 00:07:42,730 --> 00:07:45,826 You're princes among men, how much? 75 00:07:45,850 --> 00:07:48,970 £1,500 a year for the term of your life. 76 00:07:51,449 --> 00:07:53,329 £1,500? 77 00:07:55,250 --> 00:07:58,266 I'd earn more selling my arsehole on the Glasgow docks. 78 00:07:58,290 --> 00:08:00,786 Well, if you don't want it. Jesus wept, fine. 79 00:08:00,810 --> 00:08:02,689 I don't have a choice, do I? 80 00:08:08,089 --> 00:08:09,906 When do I get it? 81 00:08:09,930 --> 00:08:12,129 When you inherit the Duchy of Argyll. 82 00:08:17,009 --> 00:08:19,545 Give all those pieces of paper to Mrs McPherson, 83 00:08:19,569 --> 00:08:21,490 I don't have time for them. 84 00:09:39,129 --> 00:09:41,186 I'm done. 85 00:09:41,210 --> 00:09:42,889 What does this mean? 86 00:09:45,250 --> 00:09:46,850 Forget not. 87 00:09:51,330 --> 00:09:53,129 It's beautiful. 88 00:09:54,730 --> 00:09:57,009 You didn't tell me it was so beautiful. 89 00:09:59,370 --> 00:10:02,105 It's a pile. 90 00:10:02,129 --> 00:10:05,009 Just needs love and attention. 91 00:10:07,529 --> 00:10:09,370 She's just neglected. 92 00:10:15,409 --> 00:10:17,970 Margaret, it's so good to see you. 93 00:10:20,690 --> 00:10:22,706 You don't have to be here. 94 00:10:22,730 --> 00:10:25,289 We don't have to sign it together. I made mistakes. 95 00:10:26,889 --> 00:10:29,250 It's not too late. Charlie. 96 00:10:30,769 --> 00:10:32,769 It is. 97 00:10:50,570 --> 00:10:52,745 We'll always be friends. 98 00:10:52,769 --> 00:10:54,250 Always. 99 00:11:00,409 --> 00:11:02,169 Write to the children. 100 00:11:03,169 --> 00:11:06,346 It's important that they know you love them. 101 00:11:06,370 --> 00:11:08,690 You can never tell a child it's loved too much. 102 00:11:11,490 --> 00:11:13,250 Bye, darling. 103 00:11:46,490 --> 00:11:48,745 Charlie cried like a baby. 104 00:11:48,769 --> 00:11:50,210 Poor thing. 105 00:11:51,610 --> 00:11:53,490 He cried and he cried. 106 00:11:54,889 --> 00:11:57,985 He said he could never love anyone the way he loved me. 107 00:11:58,009 --> 00:11:59,985 We don't have to go you know, we could just go for 108 00:12:00,009 --> 00:12:01,649 a girl's dinner somewhere. 109 00:12:02,769 --> 00:12:05,466 Course we have to go. 110 00:12:05,490 --> 00:12:08,066 Imagine the talk if I don't turn up. 111 00:12:08,090 --> 00:12:09,745 There's already been talk. 112 00:12:09,769 --> 00:12:12,706 Your jaunt the Highlands with rugged Captain Campbell, 113 00:12:12,730 --> 00:12:14,306 that's curdling some milk. 114 00:12:14,330 --> 00:12:16,385 Is it? 115 00:12:16,409 --> 00:12:17,786 What do you know about him? 116 00:12:17,809 --> 00:12:20,145 Terrible time with those bloody Nazis. 117 00:12:20,169 --> 00:12:23,826 Locked up in one of their horrendous prisoner of war camps. 118 00:12:23,850 --> 00:12:26,105 Men being operated on with no anaesthetic 119 00:12:26,129 --> 00:12:28,586 to see how long they last, that sort of thing. 120 00:12:28,610 --> 00:12:30,905 Christ, poor man. 121 00:12:30,929 --> 00:12:32,865 He never said anything about that. 122 00:12:32,889 --> 00:12:34,905 Well, it's not very erotic, is it? 123 00:12:34,929 --> 00:12:37,306 You're not going to fall backwards onto a chaise longue 124 00:12:37,330 --> 00:12:39,985 with tails of torture and starvation. 125 00:12:40,009 --> 00:12:41,466 I don't know. 126 00:12:41,490 --> 00:12:44,145 Cheers, darling. Come on, tell all. 127 00:12:44,169 --> 00:12:46,225 There's nothing to tell. It's me. 128 00:12:46,250 --> 00:12:48,145 I know it's you, there's nothing to tell. 129 00:12:48,169 --> 00:12:49,466 Because he's married. 130 00:12:49,490 --> 00:12:51,946 There are stories about Captain Ian Campbell, you know. 131 00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:54,426 Not war stories, women stories. 132 00:12:54,450 --> 00:12:56,865 Diana, darling, there's stories about me. 133 00:12:56,889 --> 00:12:59,009 I liked him. I liked his castle. 134 00:13:00,330 --> 00:13:02,745 Keep your powder dry, it's not his castle yet. 135 00:13:02,769 --> 00:13:06,105 Yet. Are they are out there? Of course they are. 136 00:13:06,129 --> 00:13:08,826 How much do you want to bet Maureen gets her penis out? 137 00:13:08,850 --> 00:13:11,985 Not a penny. Maureen always gets her penis out. 138 00:13:12,009 --> 00:13:14,048 Oh... 139 00:13:16,450 --> 00:13:18,225 This way please! 140 00:13:18,250 --> 00:13:19,888 This way. 141 00:13:22,610 --> 00:13:24,466 Congratulations on your divorce. 142 00:13:24,490 --> 00:13:27,426 Now you can grace us with your beauty again. 143 00:13:27,450 --> 00:13:29,426 How we've missed you. 144 00:13:29,450 --> 00:13:31,426 Ah, hello. Hello. 145 00:13:31,450 --> 00:13:36,426 Oh, everyone hand-picked by moi to cheer you up. 146 00:13:36,450 --> 00:13:38,505 What a wonderful hostess you are, Maureen, 147 00:13:38,529 --> 00:13:40,066 you really do think of everything. 148 00:13:40,090 --> 00:13:42,625 Canapes and cock. Is there anything else? 149 00:13:42,649 --> 00:13:44,567 Well, hopefully a dessert. 150 00:13:48,009 --> 00:13:51,850 I know what's going to get this party started. 151 00:13:53,570 --> 00:13:55,447 Here we go. 152 00:14:05,409 --> 00:14:07,850 I think we need another one, don't we? 153 00:14:09,049 --> 00:14:11,610 Who is going to be the lucky person? 154 00:14:13,450 --> 00:14:15,985 Freddie, come on darling. 155 00:14:16,009 --> 00:14:17,946 All right, then. 156 00:14:17,970 --> 00:14:19,889 Come on, Freddie. 157 00:17:50,970 --> 00:17:53,385 I thought of you the other day. 158 00:17:53,410 --> 00:17:54,665 Mm? 159 00:17:54,690 --> 00:17:57,066 I took little Sheridan to London Zoo. 160 00:17:57,089 --> 00:18:00,425 I arranged for him to have a tour with one of the keepers. 161 00:18:00,450 --> 00:18:02,306 Boy's obsessed with animals. 162 00:18:02,329 --> 00:18:04,306 Hmm, I like them myself. 163 00:18:04,329 --> 00:18:06,506 We went to the monkey house. 164 00:18:06,529 --> 00:18:11,346 My dear, those chimps with their ghastly pink bottoms, just hideous. 165 00:18:11,369 --> 00:18:13,465 They don't know that, do they? 166 00:18:13,490 --> 00:18:15,185 They probably think they look charming. 167 00:18:15,210 --> 00:18:18,145 There were these other monkeys, apes, 168 00:18:18,170 --> 00:18:21,066 bonobos, quite fascinating. 169 00:18:21,089 --> 00:18:23,890 Everything they do is about sex. 170 00:18:25,130 --> 00:18:27,746 They meet a new bonobo, they have sex with them. 171 00:18:27,769 --> 00:18:31,066 Sticking it in and out, dear, hello, how do you do? 172 00:18:31,089 --> 00:18:35,266 In and out, tossing each other off, fingering each other, 173 00:18:35,289 --> 00:18:38,586 in and out, in and out nonstop. 174 00:18:38,609 --> 00:18:42,066 It's how they make friends and I thought, 175 00:18:42,089 --> 00:18:44,185 that's Margaret. 176 00:18:44,210 --> 00:18:48,690 In and out, in and out, Margaret is a bonobo. 177 00:18:55,650 --> 00:18:58,905 It's not my fault that you don't like it, Maureen, 178 00:18:58,930 --> 00:19:00,849 and that you're not good at it. 179 00:19:02,049 --> 00:19:04,306 I do like it. 180 00:19:04,329 --> 00:19:07,450 I like it very much and I'm extremely good at it. 181 00:19:08,650 --> 00:19:10,329 That's not my fault. 182 00:19:11,690 --> 00:19:14,266 Bonobo apes sound perfectly precious, 183 00:19:14,289 --> 00:19:17,210 I shall have to make a handsome donation to their welfare. 184 00:19:24,690 --> 00:19:26,769 Bonjour, ma capitaine. Bonjour. 185 00:19:35,170 --> 00:19:36,705 Oh, you're back. 186 00:19:36,730 --> 00:19:39,665 I am, and I got you a present. 187 00:19:39,690 --> 00:19:43,625 Lovely new mink for my lovely old wife. 188 00:19:43,650 --> 00:19:46,170 Magnificent, what a picture you look. 189 00:19:48,170 --> 00:19:51,130 Look at us, what fun we're having. 190 00:19:53,329 --> 00:19:55,145 It's too hot for mink. 191 00:19:55,170 --> 00:19:57,730 Well, it's bloody freezing in Scotland. 192 00:20:00,490 --> 00:20:03,170 La Traviata: Follie! Follie! Sempre Libera 193 00:20:24,650 --> 00:20:26,369 La Traviata: Ah, Fors e Lui 194 00:20:42,609 --> 00:20:45,266 NEWS REPORT: Following the death of Niall Diarmid Campbell, 195 00:20:45,289 --> 00:20:47,625 Captain Ian Douglas Campbell has been announced as 196 00:20:47,650 --> 00:20:49,625 the 11th Duke of Argyll. 197 00:20:49,650 --> 00:20:52,905 Captain Campbell is a distant cousin of the tenth Duke 198 00:20:52,930 --> 00:20:56,465 and inherits Inveraray Castle, where he will now take up residency, 199 00:20:56,490 --> 00:21:01,730 attaining salvage rights to the Duchy de Florencia in Tobermory Bay. 200 00:21:03,650 --> 00:21:06,105 Yes. Go ahead caller. 201 00:21:06,130 --> 00:21:09,506 Yes, it's for the 11th Duke of Argyll at the House of Lords. 202 00:21:09,529 --> 00:21:12,049 Congratulations, your grace, stop. 203 00:21:13,970 --> 00:21:16,089 I'm feeling restless, stop. 204 00:21:17,529 --> 00:21:20,170 Come and see me, stop. M, stop. 205 00:22:16,650 --> 00:22:19,506 That's it? Yep. 206 00:22:19,529 --> 00:22:23,425 The Duchy de Florencia, part of the Spanish Armada, 207 00:22:23,450 --> 00:22:27,506 buried under four centuries of silt and seaweed. 208 00:22:27,529 --> 00:22:29,450 Shipwreck full of jewels. 209 00:22:31,490 --> 00:22:34,105 It's like finding the Eldorado. 210 00:22:34,130 --> 00:22:36,506 You could almost touch it. 211 00:22:36,529 --> 00:22:38,986 People have tried, previous Dukes. 212 00:22:39,009 --> 00:22:41,809 No-one's managed it yet. Costs a bloody fortune. 213 00:22:42,890 --> 00:22:46,250 Maybe you will. Well, it would make it all seem more real. 214 00:22:50,250 --> 00:22:51,970 I wasn't brought up here. 215 00:22:52,970 --> 00:22:54,769 Don't know it, wasn't born to it. 216 00:22:55,769 --> 00:22:59,145 I inherited it all from a distant, distant cousin - 217 00:22:59,170 --> 00:23:02,185 not a father or even an uncle. 218 00:23:02,210 --> 00:23:04,730 I'm only the Duke because there was no-one else. 219 00:23:05,890 --> 00:23:07,609 It's only me. 220 00:23:08,730 --> 00:23:10,769 Bit desperate, really. 221 00:23:16,849 --> 00:23:18,690 I don't know. 222 00:23:25,450 --> 00:23:28,009 It's going to rain. Better head back. 223 00:23:29,609 --> 00:23:31,607 Let's go fast again. 224 00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:15,226 I didn't know you were there. 225 00:24:15,250 --> 00:24:17,048 Yes, you did. 226 00:24:18,690 --> 00:24:20,329 Yes, I did. 227 00:24:21,569 --> 00:24:23,690 I thought I'd rustle us up some tea. 228 00:24:25,450 --> 00:24:27,167 Now? 229 00:24:55,569 --> 00:24:57,890 What is it? What is it? 230 00:24:59,089 --> 00:25:00,986 Nothing. 231 00:25:01,009 --> 00:25:02,529 What? 232 00:25:05,170 --> 00:25:07,089 No-one ever sees that. 233 00:25:14,490 --> 00:25:16,210 30 stitches. 234 00:26:04,170 --> 00:26:06,490 You're going to be the one to do it. 235 00:26:08,690 --> 00:26:10,450 To raise a shipwreck. 236 00:26:13,569 --> 00:26:15,650 We're going to do it all. 237 00:26:55,890 --> 00:26:58,425 Yes? 238 00:26:58,450 --> 00:27:00,250 Be my duchess. 239 00:27:20,730 --> 00:27:22,250 We have to promise... 240 00:27:23,930 --> 00:27:27,650 ..that we will never ever bore one another. 241 00:27:29,849 --> 00:27:31,849 I'll do and say many things. 242 00:27:34,970 --> 00:27:37,130 None of them will be boring. 243 00:27:41,769 --> 00:27:43,569 I believe you. 244 00:27:45,890 --> 00:27:47,690 Then, yes. 245 00:27:58,049 --> 00:28:00,329 I think it's time you met my father. 246 00:28:54,369 --> 00:28:56,210 Daddy! Darling girl. 247 00:28:58,009 --> 00:29:01,385 Ian, this is my father George William. 248 00:29:01,410 --> 00:29:04,425 Daddy, this is Captain Ian Campbell the Duke of Argyll. 249 00:29:04,450 --> 00:29:07,625 Oh, none of that antiquated nonsense - just Ian, please. 250 00:29:07,650 --> 00:29:10,026 Nice to meet you, George. 251 00:29:10,049 --> 00:29:11,986 The Argylls have salvage rights, Daddy. 252 00:29:12,009 --> 00:29:15,145 Granted by King James the second. Yes, and it's full of Spanish gold. 253 00:29:15,170 --> 00:29:17,346 Oh, and a crown from the Pope. 254 00:29:17,369 --> 00:29:20,226 Imagine the rocks in that - all just lying there waiting. 255 00:29:20,250 --> 00:29:23,465 Raising it sounds a job - that's wild water. 256 00:29:23,490 --> 00:29:27,185 Yes, the Royal Navy are sending their best men out for free. 257 00:29:27,210 --> 00:29:31,306 But don't think I won't be checking those frogmen for doubloons, though. 258 00:29:31,329 --> 00:29:34,746 Margaret's been telling me about Inveraray. 259 00:29:34,769 --> 00:29:37,730 My daughter's fallen in love with your castle. 260 00:29:38,849 --> 00:29:43,385 Well, George, my castle has fallen in love with her. 261 00:29:43,410 --> 00:29:45,210 Hook, line and sinker. 262 00:29:46,329 --> 00:29:48,049 Can't bear to be without her. 263 00:29:49,049 --> 00:29:52,730 That's why I put that ring on her finger, statement of intent. 264 00:29:55,849 --> 00:29:57,506 Right, you've made me go all pink. 265 00:29:57,529 --> 00:29:59,226 I'm going to go and talk to Mummy, 266 00:29:59,250 --> 00:30:02,048 leaving my two favourite men to talk. 267 00:30:06,690 --> 00:30:08,746 Hello, Mummy. 268 00:30:08,769 --> 00:30:10,369 Careful. 269 00:30:28,650 --> 00:30:30,650 Yes, I can see it. 270 00:30:33,730 --> 00:30:35,650 It's an Argyll family heirloom. 271 00:30:37,250 --> 00:30:39,986 It looks like it came from Woolworths. 272 00:30:40,009 --> 00:30:41,609 Well, it didn't. 273 00:30:44,650 --> 00:30:48,809 I may be trapped in this chair but I still hear things. 274 00:30:51,450 --> 00:30:53,450 He's a married man. 275 00:30:55,089 --> 00:30:57,089 You're carrying on as if he isn't. 276 00:30:59,769 --> 00:31:05,250 My daughter - an adulteress, a round heels. 277 00:31:08,450 --> 00:31:10,490 The squalor of it. 278 00:31:14,529 --> 00:31:17,665 It's not adultery if the marriage is unhappy, it doesn't count. 279 00:31:17,690 --> 00:31:21,529 You should be ashamed of yourself he's got children, think of them. 280 00:31:23,250 --> 00:31:25,170 I'm in love with him. 281 00:31:28,410 --> 00:31:31,145 Your skin is looking dull. 282 00:31:31,170 --> 00:31:32,786 No, it isn't. 283 00:31:32,809 --> 00:31:36,529 And your jawline's looking... soft. 284 00:31:38,089 --> 00:31:40,329 Getting a few wrinkles. 285 00:31:42,130 --> 00:31:45,650 I'm not getting any wrinkles and there's nothing wrong with jawline. 286 00:31:46,890 --> 00:31:49,306 I massage my creams in every night and do my exercises, 287 00:31:49,329 --> 00:31:51,329 just like you taught me. 288 00:31:53,730 --> 00:31:55,529 Why must you always... 289 00:32:00,769 --> 00:32:03,130 ..be like this, Mummy? 290 00:32:06,450 --> 00:32:09,009 Could you not say something nice to me for a change? 291 00:32:17,890 --> 00:32:19,809 I am so lonely. 292 00:32:28,369 --> 00:32:30,945 I think your father has a mistress. 293 00:32:30,970 --> 00:32:33,490 He goes out at night and leaves me on my own. 294 00:32:34,970 --> 00:32:37,049 Tell him to stay here with me. 295 00:32:41,170 --> 00:32:42,930 He'll listen to you. 296 00:32:48,210 --> 00:32:50,049 Daddy needs company. 297 00:32:53,970 --> 00:32:56,210 He doesn't have a mistress. 298 00:32:58,089 --> 00:33:00,049 He'd never do that to me. 299 00:33:03,009 --> 00:33:05,905 George, you're now a patron of Clan Campbell 300 00:33:05,930 --> 00:33:07,986 and I'm humbled by your generosity. 301 00:33:08,009 --> 00:33:09,826 I'm a Scot, a proud one. 302 00:33:09,849 --> 00:33:13,905 It's every Scot's ancestral heritage and I am honoured to play my part. 303 00:33:13,930 --> 00:33:18,425 Also, one thing I've... I've let my London club memberships lapse, 304 00:33:18,450 --> 00:33:20,465 you couldn't help me out at your place, could you? 305 00:33:20,490 --> 00:33:22,945 I'd be happy to. 306 00:33:22,970 --> 00:33:24,986 Thank you, Daddy. 307 00:33:25,009 --> 00:33:26,849 You've made me so proud. 308 00:34:08,449 --> 00:34:12,585 He did the same thing when we were married and now it's your turn. 309 00:34:12,610 --> 00:34:15,106 But he does realise that I can see this, 310 00:34:15,130 --> 00:34:17,465 that his sons will see this. 311 00:34:17,489 --> 00:34:19,849 Their father - with her. 312 00:34:21,369 --> 00:34:24,025 She was engaged to my brother for a while. 313 00:34:24,050 --> 00:34:26,706 Engaged to just about everyone, as I understand it. 314 00:34:26,730 --> 00:34:29,369 Is it true about David Niven? That's the rumour. 315 00:34:31,769 --> 00:34:33,985 And Prince Aly Khan? 316 00:34:34,010 --> 00:34:36,090 Yes. Good god. 317 00:34:37,690 --> 00:34:39,530 I'm rather fond of her. 318 00:34:41,250 --> 00:34:43,786 Janet, she's humiliating me. 319 00:34:43,809 --> 00:34:45,489 He's humiliating you. 320 00:34:46,650 --> 00:34:50,186 How can he do this? How is this fair? 321 00:34:50,210 --> 00:34:51,889 Louise... 322 00:34:52,889 --> 00:34:56,369 Mon cher, Oui-Oui, why carry on like this? 323 00:34:58,130 --> 00:35:01,369 He's making it easy for you - divorce him. 324 00:35:02,530 --> 00:35:04,786 Best thing I ever did. 325 00:35:04,809 --> 00:35:06,489 Divorce him. 326 00:35:09,449 --> 00:35:11,650 Ian always gets what he bloody wants. 327 00:35:13,010 --> 00:35:17,530 And her, I suppose daddy's millions means that she gets what she wants. 328 00:35:24,409 --> 00:35:29,570 "Dear Margaret, well, congratulations, you win." 329 00:35:30,610 --> 00:35:31,945 Mummy, mummy. 330 00:35:31,969 --> 00:35:34,425 "I hope you'll be gratified to know that every detail" 331 00:35:34,449 --> 00:35:40,106 "of Ian's public betrayal of me with you has been unbearably painful." 332 00:35:40,130 --> 00:35:43,250 I'm not a very good tea maker, I'm afraid. 333 00:35:45,409 --> 00:35:47,306 Welcome to Whites. 334 00:35:47,329 --> 00:35:49,505 Honoured to have you as a member. 335 00:35:49,530 --> 00:35:51,306 Thank you, George. 336 00:35:51,329 --> 00:35:53,568 A celebratory snifter, I think. Hm! 337 00:35:59,170 --> 00:36:01,289 One second. 338 00:36:05,090 --> 00:36:06,929 Charlie Sweeney. 339 00:36:10,449 --> 00:36:12,489 To the victor the spoils, eh? 340 00:36:14,170 --> 00:36:16,826 "Perhaps if I didn't love my sons so much, 341 00:36:16,849 --> 00:36:20,945 "I would fight harder, delay the inevitable - 342 00:36:20,969 --> 00:36:24,186 "just to deprive you of your gloating triumph." 343 00:36:24,210 --> 00:36:27,186 So much money out there just waiting for us. 344 00:36:27,210 --> 00:36:28,626 Good luck! 345 00:36:28,650 --> 00:36:31,865 Don't come back until you've found our treasure! Good luck. 346 00:36:31,889 --> 00:36:34,186 "But I don't want to drag this out for them," 347 00:36:34,210 --> 00:36:38,610 "so I'm letting you win and giving Ian his divorce." 348 00:36:39,769 --> 00:36:42,130 "I hope my pain makes you happy." 349 00:36:43,610 --> 00:36:47,266 "And I hope you never have to know the agony of having" 350 00:36:47,289 --> 00:36:51,706 "your private life laid bare for all to see." 351 00:36:51,730 --> 00:36:54,746 "Of being paraded for the judgment of others," 352 00:36:54,769 --> 00:36:57,945 "though knowing a little of your character," 353 00:36:57,969 --> 00:37:00,826 "I imagine you would welcome the publicity." 354 00:37:00,849 --> 00:37:03,425 "Sincerely, Louise." 355 00:37:03,449 --> 00:37:06,250 Poor me. God the tedious old horse. 356 00:37:07,329 --> 00:37:09,385 Although, I suppose what can you expect, really, 357 00:37:09,409 --> 00:37:12,266 from someone who calls themselves wee-wee. 358 00:37:12,289 --> 00:37:13,746 Oui-Oui. 359 00:37:13,769 --> 00:37:16,425 A nickname only used by close friends 360 00:37:16,449 --> 00:37:19,385 and you, my darling, are never going to be one of those. 361 00:37:19,409 --> 00:37:21,905 Oh, she doesn't know what she's missing, does she? 362 00:37:21,929 --> 00:37:23,985 I'm delightful. 363 00:37:24,010 --> 00:37:25,969 Poor old wee-wee. 364 00:37:27,090 --> 00:37:31,730 Oui-Oui. Yes, Diana darling, that's what I said, wee-wee. 365 00:37:32,769 --> 00:37:34,905 Shall we have Jeanie in the middle, what do you think? 366 00:37:34,929 --> 00:37:36,945 No, I think two girls together is a terrible idea. 367 00:37:36,969 --> 00:37:39,826 Oh, right, your children behind you, mind behind me, one happy family. 368 00:37:39,849 --> 00:37:41,585 Chest out, back straight. 369 00:37:41,610 --> 00:37:43,626 No, you come closer, I think he needs to come. 370 00:37:43,650 --> 00:37:48,425 Move Colin, right back, here, all right. And Jeanne you, you... 371 00:37:48,449 --> 00:37:52,706 Just there sweetheart. Should... Shoulders back. 372 00:37:52,730 --> 00:37:55,329 Everybody ready? It's not a funeral, you can smile. 373 00:37:57,690 --> 00:38:00,130 Are you going to hold my hand? I suppose I should. 374 00:38:01,530 --> 00:38:03,610 Everybody tense up. 375 00:38:15,250 --> 00:38:17,288 Hello. 376 00:38:21,050 --> 00:38:23,025 Thank you. 377 00:38:23,050 --> 00:38:25,425 Thank you so much. Thank you. 378 00:38:25,449 --> 00:38:27,489 Welcome, your grace! Thank you. 379 00:38:29,130 --> 00:38:30,570 Shall we? 380 00:38:31,769 --> 00:38:33,385 I'm going to carry you. 381 00:38:33,409 --> 00:38:35,545 What? I'm going to carry you across the threshold. 382 00:38:35,570 --> 00:38:38,425 Oh, no, Ian, please. The Duke of Argyll will carry his Duchess 383 00:38:38,449 --> 00:38:40,346 into Inveraray Castle. 384 00:38:40,369 --> 00:38:42,985 Come on, up you come. 385 00:38:43,010 --> 00:38:46,985 Oh, my God! It's like carrying a piece of wood. 386 00:38:47,010 --> 00:38:49,425 I'm sorry but I just... I don't like it. 387 00:38:49,449 --> 00:38:51,465 I can't put you down, everybody's looking. 388 00:38:51,489 --> 00:38:54,106 Oh, no, you're going to drop me. I'm not going to fucking drop you. 389 00:38:54,130 --> 00:38:56,369 No, can you please put me down. Please? 390 00:39:00,329 --> 00:39:01,849 Ian. 391 00:39:06,809 --> 00:39:09,329 There you're down. Happy? 392 00:39:14,050 --> 00:39:17,465 Thank you so much for that wonderful reception. 393 00:39:17,489 --> 00:39:20,530 We'll have champagne and cake inside. 394 00:40:20,090 --> 00:40:22,585 So, it's just to take this whole suite, 395 00:40:22,610 --> 00:40:26,226 through that door and up to the second floor bathroom. 396 00:40:26,250 --> 00:40:29,226 It's very delicate, so you might need some help. 397 00:40:29,250 --> 00:40:30,769 Hello. 398 00:40:38,250 --> 00:40:40,210 Now I'm all confused. 399 00:41:37,530 --> 00:41:40,210 Father. Father. Ian. 400 00:41:42,449 --> 00:41:44,666 Colin. Other hand. 401 00:41:44,690 --> 00:41:46,289 Look me in the eyes. 402 00:41:47,369 --> 00:41:50,385 Mm, we're so happy that you're here. 403 00:41:50,409 --> 00:41:52,865 Mwah. Such handsome boys! 404 00:41:52,889 --> 00:41:54,905 We've got so much to show you. 405 00:41:54,929 --> 00:41:59,786 Mm. Your rooms are all ready and we've got toast and cake 406 00:41:59,809 --> 00:42:02,250 and my little doggie can't wait to make friends. 407 00:42:08,449 --> 00:42:11,146 Right, we'll I'm going for a walk. What? They've only just got here. 408 00:42:11,170 --> 00:42:13,826 I know. Give you a chance to get to know each other. 409 00:42:13,849 --> 00:42:15,809 Better without me, I think. 410 00:42:26,730 --> 00:42:29,746 Where's my father? Still on his walk. 411 00:42:29,769 --> 00:42:31,945 Has he had an accident? 412 00:42:31,969 --> 00:42:34,585 He might've fallen. No, of course not. 413 00:42:34,610 --> 00:42:36,786 He knows the countryside around here. 414 00:42:36,809 --> 00:42:39,065 Belongs to him. 415 00:42:39,090 --> 00:42:40,769 He hasn't fallen anywhere. 416 00:42:41,889 --> 00:42:43,769 He's just lost track of time. 417 00:42:51,570 --> 00:42:55,409 Boys, I know how hard it is to share your daddy. 418 00:42:56,489 --> 00:42:59,626 I used to hate sharing my daddy with anyone. 419 00:42:59,650 --> 00:43:02,530 We don't call him daddy - we call him father. 420 00:43:04,849 --> 00:43:06,289 Right. 421 00:43:12,570 --> 00:43:16,266 When I was a little girl, I was rather lonely 422 00:43:16,289 --> 00:43:18,409 and my daddy got me two puppies. 423 00:43:19,409 --> 00:43:22,210 And they were such lovely company, always so cheerful. 424 00:43:24,530 --> 00:43:27,985 Would you both like a puppy to be your friend while you're here? 425 00:43:28,010 --> 00:43:30,266 What would happen when we weren't here? 426 00:43:30,289 --> 00:43:31,849 Well, I'd look after it. 427 00:43:33,289 --> 00:43:35,826 I love dogs. 428 00:43:35,849 --> 00:43:39,065 And you could write it letters from school and I could read them out 429 00:43:39,090 --> 00:43:42,385 and your little puppy would know exactly what you've been up to. 430 00:43:42,409 --> 00:43:45,610 Dogs can't understand what you say, that's stupid. 431 00:43:50,449 --> 00:43:52,786 It's just an idea. 432 00:43:52,809 --> 00:43:54,570 We want to be excused. 433 00:43:55,809 --> 00:44:00,065 Do you know, maybe I should send some men out to look for your daddy? 434 00:44:00,090 --> 00:44:04,465 He's our father! I heard there were two young gentlemen still awake. 435 00:44:04,489 --> 00:44:07,146 Colin, you should be in bed. So should you, Ian. 436 00:44:07,170 --> 00:44:08,585 They were waiting for you. 437 00:44:08,610 --> 00:44:11,306 Ian was worried that you'd fallen down a mountain. 438 00:44:11,329 --> 00:44:14,945 Really? No, I wasn't. You own all this countryside, 439 00:44:14,969 --> 00:44:16,666 you never fall down anywhere. 440 00:44:16,690 --> 00:44:18,186 Damn right. 441 00:44:18,210 --> 00:44:20,329 Only cretins fall down mountains. 442 00:44:22,090 --> 00:44:24,170 All right, come on bed. 443 00:45:27,449 --> 00:45:29,088 Ian? 444 00:45:38,050 --> 00:45:39,690 Ian? 445 00:45:42,329 --> 00:45:44,409 Ian, why have you locked the door? 446 00:45:50,690 --> 00:45:52,809 Ian? 447 00:45:56,369 --> 00:45:58,010 Come to bed. 448 00:46:36,050 --> 00:46:38,730 Off you get, naughty boy. Off. 449 00:47:30,929 --> 00:47:34,226 You said that the Navy were supplying the divers 450 00:47:34,250 --> 00:47:37,306 for free because they were interested in the project. 451 00:47:37,329 --> 00:47:39,409 But that says £6,000. 452 00:47:41,570 --> 00:47:44,425 They're chisellers. Jackals. 453 00:47:44,449 --> 00:47:46,306 The Royal Navy are not chisellers. 454 00:47:46,329 --> 00:47:48,826 Well, then they're arseholes. 455 00:47:48,849 --> 00:47:51,489 And what mink coat from Worth? 456 00:47:54,929 --> 00:47:57,809 Oh, I bought that for Oui-Oui. 457 00:47:59,690 --> 00:48:01,730 Did you? Mm-hm. 458 00:48:08,489 --> 00:48:10,905 Well, you didn't buy it, Ian, 459 00:48:10,929 --> 00:48:14,585 because they've issued a writ for £4,000 and... 460 00:48:14,610 --> 00:48:16,425 ..that's £10,000 altogether. 461 00:48:16,449 --> 00:48:19,065 Why are you being such a fucking wife? 462 00:48:19,090 --> 00:48:20,969 Honestly. I'm not... 463 00:48:23,409 --> 00:48:25,985 ..being... Oh, God... a wife. 464 00:48:26,010 --> 00:48:28,969 It's a lot of money, on top of everything else. 465 00:48:31,610 --> 00:48:33,626 This is serious Ian, those are writs. 466 00:48:33,650 --> 00:48:36,465 So, let them come for me, 467 00:48:36,489 --> 00:48:40,465 I'll kill myself and that'll get rid of the problem. 468 00:48:40,489 --> 00:48:42,905 Can't take a corpse to court. 469 00:48:42,929 --> 00:48:45,065 For God's sake. 470 00:48:45,090 --> 00:48:46,409 Look. 471 00:48:48,090 --> 00:48:50,769 I'll pay them both this time. Mm. 472 00:48:52,409 --> 00:48:55,306 But it's galling in the extreme to think that I'm paying 473 00:48:55,329 --> 00:48:57,730 for Oui-Oui's mink. 474 00:49:04,329 --> 00:49:06,385 I want to clear up this library. 475 00:49:06,409 --> 00:49:09,465 All these papers. You do not touch those. 476 00:49:09,489 --> 00:49:12,746 Those are my cousin Niall's papers, they're his work, 477 00:49:12,769 --> 00:49:14,346 they're heirlooms. 478 00:49:14,369 --> 00:49:16,849 Ian, it's rubbish. 479 00:49:19,050 --> 00:49:21,985 You wouldn't know a serious academic work if it came up 480 00:49:22,010 --> 00:49:24,010 and bit you on your fanny. 481 00:49:26,570 --> 00:49:30,010 Those are an act of thought, of inquiry... 482 00:49:32,250 --> 00:49:36,849 ..creation, what have you ever created in your entire life? 483 00:49:38,769 --> 00:49:40,690 Except you. 484 00:49:41,690 --> 00:49:44,826 And who else exactly am I supposed to have created? 485 00:49:44,849 --> 00:49:46,945 And I made two beautiful children. 486 00:49:46,969 --> 00:49:50,610 Mm, marvellous job you've done there, they're completely spoiled. 487 00:49:54,010 --> 00:49:55,289 How... 488 00:49:56,769 --> 00:50:00,449 How d-d-d-d-d-dare I perhaps? 489 00:50:02,409 --> 00:50:04,905 Here's a thought, Margaret. 490 00:50:04,929 --> 00:50:08,346 Pay the b-b-b-b-bills. 491 00:50:08,369 --> 00:50:10,289 It's what you're for. 492 00:50:36,530 --> 00:50:38,106 Excuse me, your grace. 493 00:50:38,130 --> 00:50:40,170 Thank you, Mr Casey. 494 00:50:51,090 --> 00:50:52,769 Um, I'm a monster. 495 00:50:56,449 --> 00:50:58,090 And a bastard. 496 00:51:00,409 --> 00:51:02,289 And I'm sorry. 497 00:51:05,969 --> 00:51:08,329 And I know I would be nothing without you. 498 00:51:14,130 --> 00:51:15,769 Forgive me. 499 00:51:19,530 --> 00:51:21,610 How many men did I marry? 500 00:51:25,690 --> 00:51:30,170 Every morning, I wonder which Ian I'm going to wake up to. 501 00:51:48,210 --> 00:51:50,329 Just trim those... 502 00:52:12,369 --> 00:52:15,025 Maureen. Darling. 503 00:52:15,050 --> 00:52:18,306 How are you? Very well. 504 00:52:18,329 --> 00:52:24,010 Oh, every inch the Duchess, as if you'd been born to it. 505 00:52:25,250 --> 00:52:29,385 What a triumph, darling! It's... it's all exquisite. 506 00:52:29,409 --> 00:52:32,585 You should be very proud. Mm, I am. 507 00:52:32,610 --> 00:52:34,945 I didn't know that people had started arriving yet. 508 00:52:34,969 --> 00:52:37,306 Oh, well, we have. 509 00:52:37,329 --> 00:52:39,706 Little old me and, uh, a special someone 510 00:52:39,730 --> 00:52:41,849 I didn't think you were expecting. 511 00:53:00,329 --> 00:53:03,746 Oui-Oui, how lovely to see you. 512 00:53:03,769 --> 00:53:05,945 Oui-Oui. That's what I said. 513 00:53:05,969 --> 00:53:09,505 Glorious mink, I think I bought it. 514 00:53:09,530 --> 00:53:11,666 Oui-Oui. 515 00:53:11,690 --> 00:53:13,746 You made it. Marvellous! 516 00:53:13,769 --> 00:53:16,425 What do you think of the old place? 517 00:53:16,449 --> 00:53:18,489 Can you picture yourself here? 518 00:53:20,170 --> 00:53:24,706 Why don't you get yourself a glass of champagne 519 00:53:24,730 --> 00:53:27,186 and have a poke around and then cast a beady eye 520 00:53:27,210 --> 00:53:29,369 over the fixtures and fittings. 521 00:53:37,769 --> 00:53:39,849 Well, she's looking rather good, isn't she? 522 00:53:42,650 --> 00:53:44,210 What? 523 00:53:45,250 --> 00:53:47,385 Did you invite her? 524 00:53:47,409 --> 00:53:49,706 But, darling, Louise is the mother of my heir, 525 00:53:49,730 --> 00:53:51,425 it needs her stamp of approval. 526 00:53:51,449 --> 00:53:53,306 And you didn't consider that it might upset me 527 00:53:53,329 --> 00:53:55,425 when I've put so much work into this day? 528 00:53:55,449 --> 00:53:58,025 I didn't give you a second thought. 529 00:53:58,050 --> 00:53:59,809 Your grace. Oh, no. 530 00:54:02,489 --> 00:54:05,106 What did you mean, can she see herself here? 531 00:54:05,130 --> 00:54:07,826 Oh, not now obviously. 532 00:54:07,849 --> 00:54:10,425 Couldn't be under the same roof for more than a couple of hours, 533 00:54:10,449 --> 00:54:14,065 but later, when I die, my son will be Duke. 534 00:54:14,090 --> 00:54:16,826 It'll be up to him and it's traditional to have one's old mum 535 00:54:16,849 --> 00:54:18,969 rattling around in one of the wings. 536 00:54:21,489 --> 00:54:24,130 And what happens to me when you die? 537 00:54:25,210 --> 00:54:27,545 Well, I imagine you'll be sad for a little bit 538 00:54:27,570 --> 00:54:31,186 but then you'll marry some ghastly banker and off to Monaco you'll pop. 539 00:54:31,210 --> 00:54:34,385 No, Ian, what happens to me in Inveraray? 540 00:54:34,409 --> 00:54:37,306 The home that I've built, what happens? 541 00:54:37,329 --> 00:54:41,289 Well, that will also be up to my son and he's very fond of his mother. 542 00:54:46,489 --> 00:54:48,826 Does this mean I've got to make friends with her? 543 00:54:48,849 --> 00:54:50,889 I think it might help, yes. 544 00:54:52,769 --> 00:54:55,706 Then that's what I'll do. That's the spirit. 545 00:54:55,730 --> 00:54:58,505 By the time I'm finished with her, she's going to adore me. 546 00:54:58,530 --> 00:55:00,585 If she doesn't stab you in the neck while you sleep 547 00:55:00,610 --> 00:55:02,369 I'd call that a triumph. 548 00:55:03,369 --> 00:55:05,769 Oh, here they come. Shall we, your grace? 549 00:55:20,449 --> 00:55:22,585 Margaret. 550 00:55:22,610 --> 00:55:24,730 Don't push her in the lake or anything. 551 00:55:25,809 --> 00:55:27,489 Of course I won't. 552 00:55:29,409 --> 00:55:31,250 Promise. 553 00:56:20,690 --> 00:56:22,865 Congratulations! 554 00:56:22,889 --> 00:56:25,489 Speech! Speech! Speech! 555 00:56:27,769 --> 00:56:30,826 It's been one of the greatest privileges of my life 556 00:56:30,849 --> 00:56:34,650 to restore Inveraray Castle to such magnificent grandeur. 557 00:56:36,010 --> 00:56:40,769 An enduring legacy for my husband the Duke of Argyll and his heirs. 558 00:56:42,210 --> 00:56:43,969 Yes, indeed! 559 00:57:49,969 --> 00:57:51,585 "I love you so much." 560 00:57:51,610 --> 00:57:54,425 "I am so happy my sons are yours, not Ian's." 561 00:57:54,449 --> 00:57:56,250 "Your own, Louise."