1 00:00:09,400 --> 00:00:10,880 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 2 00:00:13,240 --> 00:00:18,240 They've arrived for a Big Night Out, it's Vic and Bob! 3 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:30,880 # Kanye West in his underpants 4 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:34,280 # In front of the microwave 5 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:37,800 # Watching his dinner go round and round 6 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:39,960 # And when it pings... 7 00:00:39,960 --> 00:00:43,360 PING # His pants fall down... # 8 00:00:43,360 --> 00:00:44,720 Oooh! 9 00:00:44,720 --> 00:00:48,760 # Drake is in his underpants 10 00:00:48,760 --> 00:00:52,200 # Stood by his front door 11 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:55,360 # Waiting for the bloke from Amazon 12 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,720 # And when the doorbell rings... DOORBELL 13 00:00:59,520 --> 00:01:01,480 # His pants fall down 14 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:02,680 # Here we go and... # 15 00:01:03,880 --> 00:01:06,760 CLATTERING TAP DANCE Oh, yeah! 16 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:17,280 Lovely! 17 00:01:17,280 --> 00:01:20,560 # Jay Z in his underpants 18 00:01:20,560 --> 00:01:24,320 # In front of his budgie cage 19 00:01:24,320 --> 00:01:27,560 # Waiting for his bird to do its trick 20 00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:29,760 # And when it rings its bell 21 00:01:29,760 --> 00:01:31,080 DING 22 00:01:31,080 --> 00:01:33,840 # His pants fall down 23 00:01:35,240 --> 00:01:39,080 # As you can see # As you can see 24 00:01:39,080 --> 00:01:42,120 # As you can see # As you can see 25 00:01:42,120 --> 00:01:44,000 # Their pants fell down! # 26 00:01:45,040 --> 00:01:46,200 Whoo! 27 00:01:53,600 --> 00:01:55,200 Have your underpants ever fallen down 28 00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:57,400 when you've been in the presence of, say, a bell 29 00:01:57,400 --> 00:01:58,680 or maybe at school? 30 00:01:58,680 --> 00:02:00,680 Oh, no, no, no, no. 31 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,720 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, yep, no. 32 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:05,880 No, no, no. No, no, no. 33 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:09,040 What about... All right, what about, like, a big clock at the town hall? 34 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:14,040 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. All right, all right. 35 00:02:14,040 --> 00:02:16,720 What about, erm, da-duuhhh? Duuuhhh! 36 00:02:16,720 --> 00:02:20,840 Duuhhh! Erm, what abo... Duuhhh! Duuhhh! 37 00:02:20,840 --> 00:02:24,000 What about...what about a church, Vic? You know, the chur... 38 00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:26,080 No, no, no, no... No. Oh, actually, yes. 39 00:02:26,080 --> 00:02:27,280 Yeah? Yeah. 40 00:02:27,280 --> 00:02:30,080 Oh, right. When the church bell rings, 41 00:02:30,080 --> 00:02:32,000 me pants generally do fall down... Right. 42 00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:34,880 ..which can be really quite embarrassing when I'm mid-sermon. 43 00:02:34,880 --> 00:02:38,440 LAUGHTER This guy and his adventures! 44 00:02:38,440 --> 00:02:39,840 Bob... Honestly! 45 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:45,600 Bob, talking of underpants, I was wearing underpants in 1994 46 00:02:45,600 --> 00:02:47,600 when I went to Blockbusters. 47 00:02:47,600 --> 00:02:49,600 If you remember that, went to Blockbusters. 48 00:02:49,600 --> 00:02:51,040 Yeah! And I said 49 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,280 I wanted to hire Batman Forever. 50 00:02:53,280 --> 00:02:56,000 "No," they said. "You must return it the following morning." 51 00:02:59,160 --> 00:03:00,400 DISCORDANT NOTES 52 00:03:03,120 --> 00:03:05,520 I was ironing my, erm... 53 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:07,400 HIGH-PITCHED NOTE 54 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,960 I was ironing my underpants, Vic... Yeah, yeah. 55 00:03:09,960 --> 00:03:11,600 ..actually, thinking of underpants, 56 00:03:11,600 --> 00:03:13,880 when I phoned up the local gym 57 00:03:13,880 --> 00:03:17,800 and I said, "Do you reckon yous lot will be able to teach us to do the splits?" 58 00:03:17,800 --> 00:03:20,040 Yeah. And they said, "How flexible are you?" 59 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,600 Yeah. And I said, "Well, I can't do "Tuesdays or Thursdays." 60 00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,000 That's good, yeah. SOME LAUGHTER 61 00:03:27,800 --> 00:03:29,160 It's up to you. 62 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:30,280 I'll have me cup of tea. 63 00:03:31,280 --> 00:03:32,640 SPOON CLINKS 64 00:03:35,680 --> 00:03:37,400 CLINKING DEEPENS AND SLOWS 65 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:45,600 Oooh! 66 00:03:45,600 --> 00:03:47,720 Wah! Wake up! 67 00:03:47,720 --> 00:03:49,680 Whoa! What year is it? 68 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:53,040 Where have all the people gone? Where's all the music? 69 00:03:53,040 --> 00:03:55,800 What's happened? I'm not stirring that again! 70 00:03:55,800 --> 00:03:57,520 Here, Tom Hanks will stir it for you. Oh! 71 00:03:57,520 --> 00:03:59,040 He's very good at that kind of thing. 72 00:03:59,040 --> 00:04:00,680 The world's number one stirrer! 73 00:04:01,720 --> 00:04:02,920 Ooh, he's having a sniff. 74 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,720 He's having a sniff for it. 75 00:04:04,720 --> 00:04:06,920 He smells tea... He smells tea out. 76 00:04:06,920 --> 00:04:08,240 SNIFFING 77 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:10,560 SNORTING 78 00:04:10,560 --> 00:04:13,640 Beautiful! Beautiful! 79 00:04:15,960 --> 00:04:17,040 SNIFFING 80 00:04:17,040 --> 00:04:18,520 Ooh, he's...he's got... 81 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:20,000 All right, Tom. 82 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,480 All right, Tom, I like you too! 83 00:04:22,480 --> 00:04:23,800 Honestly. 84 00:04:29,680 --> 00:04:31,760 Bob, can you do this? 85 00:04:37,360 --> 00:04:38,800 I don't think I can. 86 00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:40,040 No, I don't think I could, Vic. 87 00:04:40,040 --> 00:04:41,840 I would love to be able to do that. Would you? 88 00:04:41,840 --> 00:04:44,040 Oh, wow, be a dream come true, yeah. Yeah. 89 00:04:44,040 --> 00:04:46,600 Because I'm going to do that at the Royal Variety. 90 00:04:46,600 --> 00:04:49,080 What, just that? That? That thing, yeah, that I just did then. 91 00:04:49,080 --> 00:04:51,560 I'm going to do... Not just that, I'm not only going to just... 92 00:04:51,560 --> 00:04:52,600 Ooh, thank God for that. 93 00:04:52,600 --> 00:04:54,240 I'm going to sit on a chair whilst I do it. 94 00:04:54,240 --> 00:04:56,080 Oh, well, if you're sitting on a chair, Vic, 95 00:04:56,080 --> 00:04:57,840 that's really going to, like, sing, innit? 96 00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:00,240 I think Prince Charles is going to like it. Fabulous, yeah. 97 00:05:00,240 --> 00:05:03,040 That's just the first half, mind. Yeah? What about the second ha...? 98 00:05:03,040 --> 00:05:06,160 What are you doing the second half, then? I'll show you. 99 00:05:06,160 --> 00:05:08,360 I get me suitcase out. Right. 100 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,240 The one that I usually... Already love it. 101 00:05:10,240 --> 00:05:12,160 ..sell me encyclopaedias out of. 102 00:05:12,160 --> 00:05:15,680 I don't need to do that any more, what with Wikipedia and so forth. 103 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:18,360 So, I get that out there and then... 104 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:20,440 So you've got earbuds and a gooseberry? Oh, right. 105 00:05:20,440 --> 00:05:22,600 Yeah, but watch. Ah, it's not just that! 106 00:05:22,600 --> 00:05:25,800 Oh, well, some would say that's enough but, you know, here goes. 107 00:05:25,800 --> 00:05:28,480 Oh, Bob, it's never enough. 108 00:05:30,360 --> 00:05:31,920 BEEP! 109 00:05:33,280 --> 00:05:35,160 Are you watching? Yeah. 110 00:05:35,160 --> 00:05:36,720 BEEP! 111 00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:41,120 BEEP! 112 00:05:46,800 --> 00:05:47,920 BEEP! 113 00:05:54,200 --> 00:05:55,360 BEEP! 114 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:58,240 Cor, it's quite something. 115 00:05:58,240 --> 00:06:00,040 It's quite, innit? It's quite something. 116 00:06:00,040 --> 00:06:01,880 So how long do you do that for? BEEP! 117 00:06:01,880 --> 00:06:03,440 How long do you do that for? 118 00:06:03,440 --> 00:06:04,840 45 minutes. 119 00:06:04,840 --> 00:06:07,800 I tell you what, it'd be good if we could both do it together. 120 00:06:07,800 --> 00:06:10,480 That would be good, wouldn't it? Well, what, the face thing? Yeah. 121 00:06:10,480 --> 00:06:13,080 Yeah, I don't think I could do that. 122 00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:15,200 Gooseberry, it's quite tart, innit? Yeah. 123 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,160 Give it. I'm with you. I'll give it a go. 124 00:06:17,160 --> 00:06:18,960 Go on, give it a go. Ready? 125 00:06:23,560 --> 00:06:25,120 HOOTS 126 00:06:25,120 --> 00:06:26,640 HOOTS 127 00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:27,760 HOOTS 128 00:06:29,400 --> 00:06:33,520 PROMOTER: Andrew Neil presents My Benidorm Bender. 129 00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:36,520 Hello, I'm Andrew Neil 130 00:06:36,520 --> 00:06:41,080 and I have two big passions in my life - politics and the jaw harp. 131 00:06:41,080 --> 00:06:47,120 And this is my new album, My Benidorm Bender! 132 00:06:47,120 --> 00:06:48,160 HARP TWANGS 133 00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:51,360 TWANGING CONTINUES 134 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:02,000 Includes... 135 00:07:08,720 --> 00:07:14,880 My Benidorm Bender, in shops now on Reeves & Mortimer Records. 136 00:07:14,880 --> 00:07:15,920 APPLAUSE 137 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,840 Thank you, ladies and gentlemen. 138 00:07:19,840 --> 00:07:21,120 Now I've got... 139 00:07:21,120 --> 00:07:22,360 If you'll indulge me, 140 00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:24,360 I've got a really, like, 141 00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,520 important big announcement to make. Yep. 142 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:29,320 If you'll indulge me... Sorry to disturb you, lads. 143 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:31,920 I've brought you a Bible for the side of your bed. 144 00:07:31,920 --> 00:07:34,960 That's very kind of you. Thank you. 145 00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:40,280 Er, oh, and some sugar and coffee for your beverage tray. 146 00:07:40,280 --> 00:07:41,840 Thank you very much. Thanks. 147 00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:45,040 Er, you're all right with your air-con and telly settings? 148 00:07:45,040 --> 00:07:46,640 Yeah, we're all right. Yeah, look, 149 00:07:46,640 --> 00:07:48,960 this is a TV studio, you know, not a hotel. 150 00:07:48,960 --> 00:07:52,120 Oh! I've turned the wrong way out of the lift. 151 00:07:52,120 --> 00:07:54,640 Ah, right. Yeah, anyway, we'd better crack on, mate. 152 00:07:54,640 --> 00:07:56,720 Nice seeing you, yeah. What...what are you doing? 153 00:07:56,720 --> 00:07:59,320 Messing about, having a daft laugh and stuff like that, are you? 154 00:07:59,320 --> 00:08:02,000 Yeah, sort of. Yeah, yeah. I suppose that's what we do, yeah. Yeah. 155 00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:04,800 Anyway, could you, er, nick off now? Nice fella. 156 00:08:04,800 --> 00:08:07,240 Oh, if you've got any dry cleaning, 157 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,920 pop it in this bag and hang it on your door, all right? 158 00:08:09,920 --> 00:08:12,000 OK. Thank you. Thanks. 159 00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:14,960 I don't... 160 00:08:14,960 --> 00:08:18,120 Oh, if you need anything, ring me on extension one. 161 00:08:19,800 --> 00:08:22,440 So, erm, yeah, back to this announcement I wanted to make, 162 00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:23,840 anyway, ladies and gentlemen... 163 00:08:23,840 --> 00:08:26,480 Actually, just before you do that, could I make an announcement? 164 00:08:26,480 --> 00:08:29,520 Yeah, of course. Ladies and gentlemen, 165 00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:32,840 I lost four stone in the last five weeks. 166 00:08:32,840 --> 00:08:34,080 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 167 00:08:34,080 --> 00:08:35,120 Eh? 168 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:38,960 Is that it? That's it. 169 00:08:38,960 --> 00:08:40,200 Thank you, thank you. 170 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:41,800 So back to the announcement... 171 00:08:41,800 --> 00:08:44,080 I just... Can I just say? Yeah. 172 00:08:44,080 --> 00:08:45,640 It's me wedding anniversary. 173 00:08:45,640 --> 00:08:47,880 80 years married. 174 00:08:47,880 --> 00:08:50,120 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 175 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:51,880 Oh, don't! 176 00:08:51,880 --> 00:08:52,920 Right, are you all done? 177 00:08:52,920 --> 00:08:55,880 I've just done a 3K bike ride 178 00:08:55,880 --> 00:08:59,520 to raise awareness and money for research. 179 00:08:59,520 --> 00:09:00,960 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 180 00:09:00,960 --> 00:09:04,440 Oh, don't! Oh, give over! 181 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:06,920 Is that it now? Can I do it? Yeah, go on, do yours. 182 00:09:06,920 --> 00:09:09,040 Yeah, so, my big announcement, ladies and ge... 183 00:09:09,040 --> 00:09:12,040 Er, can I just say? I haven't had a drink for six hours. 184 00:09:12,040 --> 00:09:14,040 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 185 00:09:16,400 --> 00:09:18,800 Sorry, carry on. What were you going to say? 186 00:09:18,800 --> 00:09:20,400 OK. I can carry on now? 187 00:09:20,400 --> 00:09:21,960 Oh, can I just...? One more thing. 188 00:09:21,960 --> 00:09:23,120 OK. 189 00:09:23,120 --> 00:09:27,400 Ladies and gentlemen, me car's just passed its MOT. 190 00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:29,240 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 191 00:09:29,240 --> 00:09:30,440 Give over! 192 00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,120 Sorry, anyway, what were you going to say? Are you finished now? 193 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:37,680 Yeah, yeah, go on. Agh! Oh. 194 00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:40,400 So, finally, my announcement, ladies and gentlemen. 195 00:09:40,400 --> 00:09:43,320 It's actually two years to this very evening 196 00:09:43,320 --> 00:09:46,960 that I had my successful, erm, heart bypass. 197 00:09:46,960 --> 00:09:48,720 BOOING 198 00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:50,240 Arsehole! 199 00:09:51,960 --> 00:09:53,280 Tit! 200 00:09:53,280 --> 00:09:54,840 YAWNS 201 00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:56,960 BOOING CONTINUES 202 00:09:56,960 --> 00:09:58,560 You set me up for that, didn't you? 203 00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:00,880 I want a fight. You set me up for that. I want to fight you! 204 00:10:00,880 --> 00:10:02,240 Yeah, all right, I'll fight you. 205 00:10:02,240 --> 00:10:04,880 Right, come on, then. Inside or outside? Let's have a fight out... 206 00:10:04,880 --> 00:10:08,400 On the roof? I don't mind. No, let's have an indoor fight! Come on, then! 207 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:09,840 Come on. What have you got? 208 00:10:09,840 --> 00:10:11,360 Argh! Ooh, eh? 209 00:10:12,560 --> 00:10:14,040 THUD! Uh! 210 00:10:14,040 --> 00:10:15,200 THUD! Uh! 211 00:10:15,200 --> 00:10:16,640 THUD! Uh! 212 00:10:16,640 --> 00:10:18,200 THUD! Oosh! 213 00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:21,480 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 214 00:10:21,480 --> 00:10:22,600 THWACK! 215 00:10:22,600 --> 00:10:23,920 AUDIENCE: Oh! 216 00:10:23,920 --> 00:10:25,480 THWACK! Oh! 217 00:10:26,640 --> 00:10:28,200 THWACK! 218 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:30,000 THWACK! 219 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:32,680 Right! 220 00:10:32,680 --> 00:10:35,880 What's this? What's next? Have you heard of Professor Freeze? 221 00:10:37,080 --> 00:10:38,760 It is I! 222 00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:40,240 What? Ice cubes?! 223 00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,560 Ice cubes! 224 00:10:41,560 --> 00:10:42,840 ICE CUBES RATTLE 225 00:10:42,840 --> 00:10:44,480 Ooh, eeh, ooh! 226 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:47,120 Woohoo! Woohoo-hoo! 227 00:10:47,120 --> 00:10:48,680 Look at the state of him! 228 00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:50,720 Look at the state of me! 229 00:10:50,720 --> 00:10:52,800 It's the ice! It's the ice. 230 00:10:52,800 --> 00:10:56,880 DANCE MUSIC 231 00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,200 Right, stay there. Are you done? 232 00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:07,080 Eh? No! Thought it was all over, didn't you? No, not the iron! 233 00:11:07,080 --> 00:11:08,840 Eh? No! 234 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:10,920 No! No! 235 00:11:11,960 --> 00:11:13,000 Argh! 236 00:11:15,280 --> 00:11:16,400 CLANG! 237 00:11:18,080 --> 00:11:21,560 Ugh, ugh, ugh, ugh... 238 00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:24,600 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 239 00:11:25,640 --> 00:11:28,800 Well, we're here, in what's rumoured to be 240 00:11:28,800 --> 00:11:31,560 the most haunted toilet in Britain. 241 00:11:31,560 --> 00:11:34,040 In Britain, yes. There've been ghosts sighted here. 242 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:35,760 There's numerous orbs and jesterings. 243 00:11:35,760 --> 00:11:37,880 Orbs been sighted in the toilets... Yeah. 244 00:11:37,880 --> 00:11:40,880 And, er... Ooh! Did you feel that? 245 00:11:40,880 --> 00:11:43,360 A cold column of air. 246 00:11:43,360 --> 00:11:45,640 Yeah, almost like a giant Calippo. 247 00:11:45,640 --> 00:11:47,480 Like walking into a Calippo. 248 00:11:47,480 --> 00:11:49,000 You...you demonstrate, Vic. 249 00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:51,040 Cold. Warm. 250 00:11:51,040 --> 00:11:52,520 Like... It's just there. 251 00:11:52,520 --> 00:11:53,600 Ooh, and that smell. 252 00:11:53,600 --> 00:11:55,000 That smell is... Ooh, it's acrid. 253 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,560 Ooh, that just came suddenly, didn't it? That's not you, is it? 254 00:11:57,560 --> 00:11:59,280 No, it's not me. Ooh, that's quite acrid. 255 00:11:59,280 --> 00:12:01,160 Cos when we came in here, it smelt quite sweet. 256 00:12:01,160 --> 00:12:03,560 Smelt, yeah. But now it's really depressing. 257 00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:06,480 It is. It's quite morose, innit? It's made me really depressed. 258 00:12:06,480 --> 00:12:08,600 I mean, I sense there's been happiness here, but... 259 00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:10,640 There's been a lot of happiness in these toilets. 260 00:12:10,640 --> 00:12:12,480 ..it's quite overpowering, isn't it? PLOP! 261 00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,240 Ooh! What the BLEEP was that?! 262 00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:16,800 Could you hear that? BLEEP off! For BLEEP sake! 263 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,040 No, BLEEP off. 264 00:12:18,040 --> 00:12:19,480 What the BLEEP was that? 265 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:20,640 There's something here. 266 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:22,920 There's definitely... Let's check it's all empty. 267 00:12:22,920 --> 00:12:25,280 Well, there's, er, definitely something in here. 268 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:27,040 Definitely something in here. 269 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:29,200 Erm, is there any spirit person here? 270 00:12:29,200 --> 00:12:31,800 Would anyone like to make contact with us? 271 00:12:31,800 --> 00:12:34,000 Yeah, er... One plop for yes. 272 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:36,000 Two plops for no. PLOP! 273 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,040 Yes! Yes! 274 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:39,040 Did you hear that? Yes! Yes. Yes. 275 00:12:39,040 --> 00:12:41,360 So that was one plop. One plop. Let's try and get a name. 276 00:12:41,360 --> 00:12:44,520 Are you called John? 277 00:12:44,520 --> 00:12:46,560 PLOP! Yes! 278 00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:49,440 Yes! We've made contact with John. 279 00:12:49,440 --> 00:12:50,680 Erm, erm... 280 00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:52,840 Let's get a surname. What do you think? 281 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:54,520 Er... Let me try, let me try. 282 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,600 Are you John West, the tinned salmon man? 283 00:12:57,600 --> 00:12:58,880 PLOP! 284 00:12:58,880 --> 00:13:00,040 Yes! Yes! 285 00:13:00,040 --> 00:13:01,160 Yes! 286 00:13:01,160 --> 00:13:03,520 John West, known as the salmon man. 287 00:13:03,520 --> 00:13:06,320 Hang on a minute. Wait a minute. 288 00:13:06,320 --> 00:13:08,440 I think I'm getting a message coming through. 289 00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:09,760 Right, is it jumbled up or...? 290 00:13:09,760 --> 00:13:11,960 No, it's quite clear, and it's for you. 291 00:13:11,960 --> 00:13:13,600 Wow. This is... 292 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:15,600 He says... LOW-PITCHED "Bob..." 293 00:13:15,600 --> 00:13:16,640 Hi, John. 294 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:23,040 "Do you like my tinned tuna and sweetcorn niblets in mayo?" 295 00:13:23,040 --> 00:13:25,840 Good question. Erm, I've gotta give an honest answer. 296 00:13:25,840 --> 00:13:28,240 No, John, I've always preferred Princess brand. 297 00:13:28,240 --> 00:13:30,360 RATTLING Whoa! 298 00:13:30,360 --> 00:13:32,360 BLEEP! What the BLEEP was that?! BLEEP! 299 00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:35,120 What the BLEEP was that? BLEEP off! What in BLEEP hell?! 300 00:13:35,120 --> 00:13:36,200 What the BLEEP?! 301 00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:38,080 You BLEEP idiot! 302 00:13:38,080 --> 00:13:41,200 BLEEP arsehole! Stupid BLEEP! 303 00:13:41,200 --> 00:13:43,040 You BLEEP! 304 00:13:43,040 --> 00:13:45,960 BLEEP! BLEEP off! 305 00:13:45,960 --> 00:13:47,720 Ladies and gentlemen, 306 00:13:47,720 --> 00:13:50,680 it's Mulligan and O'Hare. 307 00:13:50,680 --> 00:13:52,960 CHEERING AND APPLAUSE 308 00:13:57,800 --> 00:13:59,480 # I've got a spanner! 309 00:13:59,480 --> 00:14:01,520 # I've got a spoon! 310 00:14:01,520 --> 00:14:03,920 # And here, my friend, upon my tray 311 00:14:03,920 --> 00:14:05,880 # A piece of wood and a measuring tape 312 00:14:05,880 --> 00:14:11,920 # Now we can build a van and drive it up to Birmingham 313 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:16,680 # We like to creep around at night 314 00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:19,360 # With our trousers nice and tight 315 00:14:19,360 --> 00:14:21,800 BOTH: # Nice and tight! Nice and tight! 316 00:14:21,800 --> 00:14:24,160 # You've got it right! That's nice and tight! 317 00:14:24,160 --> 00:14:25,280 # Nice and tight! 318 00:14:25,280 --> 00:14:29,360 # Nice and tight! Nice and tight! That's nice and tight! 319 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:31,200 # We like to break into your home 320 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,960 # And get in bed with you 321 00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:47,920 # We'd like to wish you all the best With your forthcoming driving test 322 00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,480 # Driving test! Driving test! 323 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:53,200 # Your forthcoming driving test! # 324 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:57,680 Thank you. 325 00:14:57,680 --> 00:15:02,280 My name is Dermot O'Hare. And I am Dermot Mulligan. 326 00:15:02,280 --> 00:15:05,800 And as you can see, we're here with you this evening. 327 00:15:07,160 --> 00:15:08,560 Yes. Now... 328 00:15:08,560 --> 00:15:11,480 There are a few things that are causing us some difficulty. 329 00:15:11,480 --> 00:15:13,080 Some consternation! 330 00:15:13,080 --> 00:15:16,240 Some things we're not presently enjoying include... 331 00:15:16,240 --> 00:15:20,240 Formula 1. What rot! What total rot! 332 00:15:20,240 --> 00:15:22,440 Residents parking permits. Residents... 333 00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:29,680 Residents parking permits! Residents par... That's balls! 334 00:15:29,680 --> 00:15:31,000 Rubbish! 335 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,120 It's total balls! 336 00:15:32,120 --> 00:15:34,000 Scented washing-up liquid. 337 00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:37,360 You use it! There's no need! 338 00:15:37,360 --> 00:15:38,960 There's no need. No need. 339 00:15:38,960 --> 00:15:42,360 Stand up! Stand up! 340 00:15:42,360 --> 00:15:44,680 BOTH: Sit down! 341 00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,400 There's no need! 342 00:15:46,400 --> 00:15:48,240 There's no... There's just no need! No need! 343 00:15:48,240 --> 00:15:52,360 I'm wearing a bra now, but I really don't need to at all. 344 00:15:52,360 --> 00:15:54,960 There's no need. There's absolutely no need to wear a bra! 345 00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:56,800 There's no need! There's no need! 346 00:15:56,800 --> 00:15:59,320 They'll stand up firmly in any breeze, yes? 347 00:15:59,320 --> 00:16:00,480 Er, in high winds. 348 00:16:00,480 --> 00:16:02,920 OK, well, let's slip it off and see if that's true, Mulligan. 349 00:16:02,920 --> 00:16:04,720 Why don't you try and unleash them? 350 00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,880 Take off the bra. 351 00:16:07,880 --> 00:16:09,000 They'll stay put. 352 00:16:13,480 --> 00:16:14,640 Yeah. 353 00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:15,760 Yeah. 354 00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:17,080 Hm. Hm. 355 00:16:18,520 --> 00:16:19,560 DONG! 356 00:16:20,760 --> 00:16:22,800 DONG! 357 00:16:22,800 --> 00:16:24,880 DING! DING! 358 00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:26,600 DONG! 359 00:16:26,600 --> 00:16:28,200 DONG! DING! DONG! 360 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:31,520 # Sitting on a dock in the bay 361 00:16:31,520 --> 00:16:35,680 # Watching the tide roll away... # 362 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,160 No, leave it. 363 00:16:38,160 --> 00:16:41,280 Anyway, we're here to sing our beautiful songs, 364 00:16:41,280 --> 00:16:43,440 and there is none more beautiful 365 00:16:43,440 --> 00:16:45,920 than our tribute to our darling Rose. 366 00:16:45,920 --> 00:16:48,520 CHEERING 367 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:55,880 BOTH: # My Rose has left me 368 00:16:55,880 --> 00:16:59,640 # I'm in a mood 369 00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:03,000 # She's gone to Kenya 370 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:08,760 # With the bloke from Allied Carpets 371 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:12,240 # She wasn't immunised 372 00:17:12,240 --> 00:17:15,800 # And that's a legal requirement! 373 00:17:15,800 --> 00:17:20,440 # She's increasingly slapdash 374 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:25,240 # Since we bought that new hearth rug 375 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:29,680 # Oh, Rose, how we miss you 376 00:17:29,680 --> 00:17:33,200 # But where are you now? 377 00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:36,880 # Alone with your salesman 378 00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:40,920 # You adulterous cow! # 379 00:17:40,920 --> 00:17:42,480 Come on, Mulligan. Thank you. 380 00:17:54,320 --> 00:17:56,960 Robert Winston presents his new CD... 381 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:04,520 Hello, I am Professor Robert Winston, 382 00:18:04,520 --> 00:18:07,120 and I have three passions in my life - 383 00:18:07,120 --> 00:18:11,160 kids' medicine, gynaecology and the harmonica. 384 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:13,720 I'd like to present some tracks from my new LP, 385 00:18:13,720 --> 00:18:15,720 Shut Up And Go To Bed. 386 00:18:29,440 --> 00:18:34,360 # Nao vou deixar o nosso amor acabar. # 387 00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:37,360 Shut Up And Go To Bed includes... 388 00:18:43,840 --> 00:18:45,960 The new album by Robert Winston, 389 00:18:45,960 --> 00:18:47,200 out now 390 00:18:47,200 --> 00:18:49,480 on Reeves & Mortimer Records. 391 00:18:54,600 --> 00:18:55,760 Bob... 392 00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:56,960 Oh, yeah! 393 00:18:56,960 --> 00:18:58,240 Oh, yeah! 394 00:18:58,240 --> 00:19:01,480 Bob, can I show you a new skill I've learnt? 395 00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:02,800 I think I know all your skills. 396 00:19:02,800 --> 00:19:04,880 You don't know this one. This is a brand-new skill. 397 00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:07,000 Brand-new skill? Love to see it. I'd love to see it. 398 00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,640 Have you got a, erm, tangerine? 399 00:19:08,640 --> 00:19:09,840 I know you have. 400 00:19:09,840 --> 00:19:11,920 Yeah, I've got one in me bake box. Yeah. 401 00:19:11,920 --> 00:19:14,800 Give us one. You're more than welcome. A brand-new skill. 402 00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,200 Why have you got it locked up? 403 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,320 Why do you have your bake locked up anyway? 404 00:19:21,320 --> 00:19:23,200 There you go. Come on, then, a nice tangerine. 405 00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:24,960 Just one satsuma, yeah? Yeah. 406 00:19:24,960 --> 00:19:26,560 There you go. Right. 407 00:19:26,560 --> 00:19:29,520 OK, actually, you can do this. Just to prove that it's a great skill. 408 00:19:29,520 --> 00:19:31,800 What do I have to do? I want you to put it down the back... 409 00:19:31,800 --> 00:19:33,160 Come round here. 410 00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:35,520 Put it down the back of me trousers. 411 00:19:35,520 --> 00:19:36,640 All right. 412 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:37,880 Go on, just put it in there. 413 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:39,960 What, right in? Yeah, right in. 414 00:19:39,960 --> 00:19:41,760 That's as... Oh, yes, that's in. 415 00:19:41,760 --> 00:19:44,440 Ooh, that lodged. Yeah, there you go. 416 00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:45,920 Right there. All right, ready? 417 00:19:46,960 --> 00:19:48,000 Music. 418 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,880 GENTLE JAZZ MUSIC 419 00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:02,880 I learnt this skill 420 00:20:02,880 --> 00:20:06,160 when I was on a commercial flight through Tibet, and I crashed, 421 00:20:06,160 --> 00:20:07,840 and some monks took me in... 422 00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,920 Oh, wow. ..and showed me it. 423 00:20:16,600 --> 00:20:18,560 Oh, he's peeled it! 424 00:20:18,560 --> 00:20:20,040 He's peeled it! 425 00:20:22,560 --> 00:20:24,600 I liked it! 426 00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:30,440 Well, that was excellent. 427 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:31,920 Thank you. You know what, Vic? 428 00:20:31,920 --> 00:20:33,720 I think I saw how you did it. 429 00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:35,280 Do you mean you think you could do it? 430 00:20:35,280 --> 00:20:37,840 I think I could do it, yeah. Well, come on, then. Will you do...? 431 00:20:37,840 --> 00:20:40,560 Will you do the orange for us? Yeah. OK. 432 00:20:40,560 --> 00:20:42,120 Course I will. 433 00:20:42,120 --> 00:20:43,560 Give it a go. 434 00:20:43,560 --> 00:20:45,520 Sure, I think I know what you did, yeah. 435 00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:46,960 Yeah. Lob it in. 436 00:20:46,960 --> 00:20:48,440 What's all this stuff in here? 437 00:20:48,440 --> 00:20:50,200 Eh? What is all this stuff? 438 00:20:50,200 --> 00:20:51,960 What stuff? There's a lot of... 439 00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,600 What's this? Plasters? 440 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:58,680 It's like, erm... 441 00:20:58,680 --> 00:21:02,640 I've got this thing down there that sometimes goes to a point, so... 442 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:04,120 Oh, yeah, and what's this here? 443 00:21:04,120 --> 00:21:06,520 I put plasters on it, but I'm working in the blind, you know, 444 00:21:06,520 --> 00:21:08,720 so the... You get a bit of a build-up. 445 00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:09,840 What's that? 446 00:21:09,840 --> 00:21:11,400 It's me note...me reporter's book. 447 00:21:11,400 --> 00:21:13,560 Your reporter's notebook. It's me reporter's book. 448 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:15,480 For writing about crisises and things like... 449 00:21:15,480 --> 00:21:16,880 Yeah, events and that. ..crises. 450 00:21:16,880 --> 00:21:18,800 Events. This is what I think of your reporting. 451 00:21:18,800 --> 00:21:20,280 THUD! 452 00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:21,640 AUDIENCE: Aw! 453 00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:23,520 Yeah. Go on, right, let's put it in. 454 00:21:23,520 --> 00:21:25,120 I'm not a bad reporter, actually. 455 00:21:25,120 --> 00:21:26,600 VIC LAUGHS 456 00:21:26,600 --> 00:21:29,160 No, don't laugh. I'm not a bad little reporter. He's not bad. 457 00:21:29,160 --> 00:21:31,680 Are you getting it in? Yeah. OK, there you go. 458 00:21:31,680 --> 00:21:34,400 Right, if I'm right... Off you go. Do I get the music as well? 459 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,040 Yeah. Music. GENTLE PIANO PLAYS 460 00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:38,640 Different type of music, but all right. Different technique. 461 00:21:38,640 --> 00:21:40,080 Suits you better. 462 00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,240 Go on. Are you doing it? 463 00:21:43,240 --> 00:21:44,960 Just feel it, feel your way. 464 00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,040 It's all about feel. 465 00:21:49,040 --> 00:21:51,080 Oh, hold on. Yeah. 466 00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:55,200 Ah, it's come out. 467 00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:58,600 It's come out, so... 468 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,640 AUDIENCE: Oh! 469 00:22:12,280 --> 00:22:13,640 APPLAUSE 470 00:22:21,760 --> 00:22:25,240 Are you aware that fireballs are on th'increase? 471 00:22:25,240 --> 00:22:29,760 They can occur at any time, day or night, even seasonally. 472 00:22:29,760 --> 00:22:32,760 They're no respecter of nationality, 473 00:22:32,760 --> 00:22:35,720 as this South African chap can testify. 474 00:22:37,120 --> 00:22:41,320 I was grinding some meat for that dozy yarpie over there 475 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:42,480 when suddenly...boom! 476 00:22:42,480 --> 00:22:47,680 Out off the ground came a fireball and took the bitch out! 477 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:51,360 Look, it's happened again! 478 00:22:54,800 --> 00:22:57,800 Meanwhile, in Keighley... 479 00:22:57,800 --> 00:23:00,640 I was just washing t'hair of my favourite doll 480 00:23:00,640 --> 00:23:02,680 in this cattle trough, 481 00:23:02,680 --> 00:23:06,080 when suddenly, out of t'back of t'Golf exhaust pipe 482 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:10,560 came three fireballs and destroyed a yacht in Biarritz. 483 00:23:12,160 --> 00:23:13,880 Look, it's happening again! 484 00:23:15,640 --> 00:23:17,360 WOMAN SCREAMS 485 00:23:25,680 --> 00:23:30,000 # I was going to the fair... # 486 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:34,360 What?! 487 00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:36,520 Keep fireballs contained. 488 00:23:42,440 --> 00:23:44,840 This message was brought to you by the Attlee Government, 489 00:23:44,840 --> 00:23:48,160 in conjunction with Boy George and Cadbury's Chocolate Fingers. 490 00:23:52,360 --> 00:23:54,800 Right, just while Vic's away round the back there, 491 00:23:54,800 --> 00:23:59,480 I'd just like to take this opportunity to explain to you how clever I am. 492 00:23:59,480 --> 00:24:01,000 I can use a calculator. 493 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:04,200 I'm a really fast...reader... 494 00:24:04,200 --> 00:24:05,320 Excuse me, mate. 495 00:24:06,400 --> 00:24:07,600 Excuse me, mate! 496 00:24:07,600 --> 00:24:09,960 What's going on here, then? Er, we're doing a show here. 497 00:24:09,960 --> 00:24:12,080 Are you? Yeah, can I help you? 498 00:24:12,080 --> 00:24:13,360 Erm... 499 00:24:15,360 --> 00:24:16,840 Just having a look around, really. 500 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:19,400 Oh, right. Checking up on something. Just having a nose about. 501 00:24:19,400 --> 00:24:21,280 Actually, do you mind me asking? 502 00:24:21,280 --> 00:24:24,040 Erm, are you like a human or animal? What? 503 00:24:24,040 --> 00:24:25,960 Well, that's a good question, yeah. Thank you. 504 00:24:25,960 --> 00:24:30,280 I'm a...I'm a human from there down, but from there up I'm an otter. 505 00:24:30,280 --> 00:24:31,680 Oh, right! 506 00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:33,880 You know cloning? Ah, cloning! 507 00:24:33,880 --> 00:24:36,360 They were offering off...you know, free experiments. 508 00:24:36,360 --> 00:24:38,520 So I thought, "Why not?" 509 00:24:38,520 --> 00:24:39,720 Yeah. "I'll have a go." 510 00:24:39,720 --> 00:24:42,360 Yeah, I've always wanted to be an otter. Yeah. 511 00:24:42,360 --> 00:24:44,400 You haven't got any fish on you, have you? 512 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,840 What, are you a bit hungry? I'm starving, actually. 513 00:24:46,840 --> 00:24:49,320 No, I haven't got any fish, no. Have you got any newts or frogs? 514 00:24:49,320 --> 00:24:52,280 No, I've not. Check in your pockets. I know I haven't got newts or frogs. 515 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,240 Are you sure? How'd you know? You haven't checked. 516 00:24:54,240 --> 00:24:56,320 All right, I'll check quickly. No newts, no frogs. 517 00:24:56,320 --> 00:24:58,760 Have you got a Toffee Crisp? No, I haven't got a Toffee Crisp. 518 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,240 Yeah, you have, haven't you? What, otters eat Toffee Crisps? 519 00:25:01,240 --> 00:25:03,320 Yeah, well, I tell you what, mate, on the river bank 520 00:25:03,320 --> 00:25:05,000 you take what you can get these days. 521 00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,240 I haven't got a Toffee Crisp. You've got a Toffee Crisp. 522 00:25:07,240 --> 00:25:09,120 Come on, give us a bit. I haven't got one! 523 00:25:09,120 --> 00:25:10,840 Well, that's it, er, I'm off, then. 524 00:25:10,840 --> 00:25:13,440 I'm going to have to go and get submerged. Yeah? 525 00:25:13,440 --> 00:25:15,280 I've been out of the water for too long now. 526 00:25:15,280 --> 00:25:16,440 I'm going to get submerged. 527 00:25:16,440 --> 00:25:18,080 Well, I tell you what, mate, if you want, 528 00:25:18,080 --> 00:25:20,240 I've got a big roll-top bath in me dressing room. 529 00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,040 You're more than welcome... You what? 530 00:25:22,040 --> 00:25:23,880 ..to slide into that. You've got what? 531 00:25:23,880 --> 00:25:25,960 Big roll-top bath. You can fill that up with water. 532 00:25:25,960 --> 00:25:27,080 You've got what? 533 00:25:27,080 --> 00:25:29,800 In your dressing room?! Oh, it's you! 534 00:25:29,800 --> 00:25:31,440 Yeah, yeah, it's me. 535 00:25:31,440 --> 00:25:33,000 Oh, I was having a lovely time. 536 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:34,840 I thought it was, like, an otter man! 537 00:25:34,840 --> 00:25:36,200 No, it was me. 538 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:37,920 Turns out it's you! 539 00:25:37,920 --> 00:25:40,840 You're such a twister! Oh, I'll twist as much as I like! 540 00:25:40,840 --> 00:25:42,920 What's this about a bath in your dressing room? 541 00:25:42,920 --> 00:25:46,200 Well, haven't you got one in yours? No. I've got a bucket, some wi... 542 00:25:46,200 --> 00:25:48,200 Well, I say wipes, they're more like rags. 543 00:25:48,200 --> 00:25:51,600 Right. And they said it was a dry shampoo, 544 00:25:51,600 --> 00:25:53,280 but I think it's more like flour. 545 00:25:54,720 --> 00:25:56,000 It is flour. 546 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,720 A very cheap flour from Lidl. 547 00:26:02,240 --> 00:26:03,760 Ah, well. Well, you know... 548 00:26:03,760 --> 00:26:05,800 So, come on, give us some of your Toffee Crisp. 549 00:26:05,800 --> 00:26:08,400 Well, I haven't got a Toffee Crisp! You have got...! 550 00:26:08,400 --> 00:26:10,400 Right, that's it! That's it, I resign. 551 00:26:10,400 --> 00:26:11,760 I'm off the project. 552 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:16,200 Vic, don't take a dump! Vic! Don't. 553 00:26:16,200 --> 00:26:17,600 Is there anything I can do 554 00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:19,400 to bring you back on board with the project? 555 00:26:19,400 --> 00:26:20,840 Give us some of your Toffee Crisp. 556 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:23,200 I haven't got a Toffee... I'll give you a Ripple. 557 00:26:23,200 --> 00:26:25,840 No, don't! Vic! Vic, don't have a dump! 558 00:26:25,840 --> 00:26:27,480 I'll give you half a Toffee Crisp. 559 00:26:27,480 --> 00:26:28,520 Is that all right? 560 00:26:28,520 --> 00:26:30,080 All right, half of it. OK. 561 00:26:30,080 --> 00:26:31,800 There you go. 562 00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:33,040 There you are. 563 00:26:33,040 --> 00:26:34,880 You take that half. 564 00:26:34,880 --> 00:26:37,520 Are you sure that's half? Quite a generous half, actually. Yeah. 565 00:26:37,520 --> 00:26:39,840 Are you sure? Yeah. You know I'm no good at measurements. 566 00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,080 No, that's a gen... That's a very generous half, that. 567 00:26:42,080 --> 00:26:43,920 That is a half, is it? Yeah, absolutely. 568 00:26:43,920 --> 00:26:46,040 You're back on board, then? I'm back on the project. 569 00:26:46,040 --> 00:26:48,720 What's the second phase? Yeah, well, we're going to say goodnight 570 00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:51,240 to the ladies and gentlemen and sing a lovely little song. 571 00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:52,640 You up for that? Yeah! 572 00:26:52,640 --> 00:26:55,360 He's back on the project! Now... Yeah, I'm back on the project! 573 00:26:55,360 --> 00:26:57,600 CHEERING Now, ladies and gentlemen, 574 00:26:57,600 --> 00:27:00,080 if you don't want to watch us singing our song, 575 00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:03,080 Vaun's over there with an owl in some underpants 576 00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:06,200 for you to stare at...at your leisure. 577 00:27:06,200 --> 00:27:07,880 Goodnight, ladies and gentlemen! 578 00:27:07,880 --> 00:27:10,240 Thank you for your attendance. 579 00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:18,800 BOTH: # You can do it if you really want 580 00:27:18,800 --> 00:27:21,480 # You can do it if you really want 581 00:27:21,480 --> 00:27:25,520 # You can do it if you really want 582 00:27:25,520 --> 00:27:29,040 # You can do it if you really want 583 00:27:29,040 --> 00:27:31,720 # Throw a cat at Paloma Faith 584 00:27:32,720 --> 00:27:35,920 # Have a dump on your neighbour's chair 585 00:27:35,920 --> 00:27:39,680 # Spew your guts up on Mastermind 586 00:27:39,680 --> 00:27:41,840 # Take a rabbit to Pakistan 587 00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,760 # Eat a sausage with Eamonn Holmes 588 00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:49,440 # Grow a potato, la, la, la 589 00:27:49,440 --> 00:27:53,160 # Make love to a Uber driver 590 00:27:53,160 --> 00:27:55,440 # Get bent! Hey, hey, hey, hey, hey! 591 00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:56,720 # Because 592 00:27:56,720 --> 00:28:00,040 # You can do it if you really want 593 00:28:00,040 --> 00:28:03,640 # You can do it if you really want 594 00:28:03,640 --> 00:28:07,000 # You can do it if you really want 595 00:28:07,000 --> 00:28:08,560 # You can do it if you really want... # 596 00:28:08,560 --> 00:28:09,960 Come on! 597 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:13,160 # You can do it if you really want 598 00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:17,000 # You can do it if you really want... # 599 00:28:17,000 --> 00:28:18,320 Do you want to? 600 00:28:18,320 --> 00:28:19,920 Do you even want to do it? 601 00:28:19,920 --> 00:28:21,760 Because you can! 602 00:28:23,400 --> 00:28:27,080 Just try a little harder, and you'll be there!