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<font color="#ffffff">EASY-LISTENING MUSIC</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">This programme contains some</font>
<font color="#ffffff">strong language</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">AUDIENCE APPLAUSE</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">ANNOUNCER: </font><font color="#00ff00">They've arrived</font>
<font color="#00ff00">for A Big Night Out -</font>

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<font color="#00ff00">it's Vic and Bob!</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">DRAMATIC MUSIC</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">BOTH: </font><font color="#00ffff"># Private plane over London</font>

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<font color="#00ffff"># Spitfires in pursuit</font>

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<font color="#ffff00"># Elton John locked in the</font>
<font color="#ffff00">khazi</font>

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<font color="#ffffff"># Beyonce holding his shoes</font>

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<font color="#ffffff"># The pilot done a manoeuvre</font>

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<font color="#ffffff"># Elton falls from the plane</font>

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<font color="#ffff00"># A toilet roll clutched in his</font>
<font color="#ffff00">hand</font>

14
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<font color="#ffff00"># As he sings his final refrain</font>

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<font color="#00ffff"># A toilet roll clutched in his</font>
<font color="#00ffff">hand</font>

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<font color="#00ffff"># He sings his final refrain... </font><font color="#ffffff">#</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">POMPOUS MUSIC</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">BOTH: </font><font color="#00ffff"># Goodbye, Elton John</font>

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<font color="#00ffff"># We never thought you'd die</font>

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<font color="#00ffff"># Flattened on one of the</font>
<font color="#00ffff">capsules</font>

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<font color="#00ffff"># Of the London</font>

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<font color="#00ffff"># Of the London</font>

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<font color="#00ffff"># Of the London... #</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">MUSIC PAUSES, GENTLE PERCUSSION</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">POMPOUS MUSIC</font>

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<font color="#ffffff"># Eye! #</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">MUSIC STOPS</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Good evening!</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Good evening.</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Oh yeah!</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah, yeah.</font>

31
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<font color="#ffffff">The London Eye.</font>

32
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<font color="#ffffff">But, Bob, are you aware</font>
<font color="#ffffff">that it's not a real eye?</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Really?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, what a disappointment.</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">Isn't it a disappointment?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I'm disappointed.</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">It is, in fact, though...</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">It is, though, a portal.</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Really?! How...?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">How does that work, then?</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">Well, you go into one</font>
<font color="#ffffff">of the capsules, the pods...</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Right.</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">..through the door.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah.</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">You go through it and then you push</font>
<font color="#ffffff">out the back panel.</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Right.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">And then you go through.</font>

43
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<font color="#ffff00">Right. And where do you end</font>
<font color="#ffff00">up, then?</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">In the Thames.</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">LAUGHTER</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Ha-ha-ha!</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">Ha-ha!</font>
<font color="#ffff00">You got me there.</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">Ha-ha-ha!</font>
<font color="#ffff00">You got me there.</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">But here we are in London, though.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah, here we are in London.</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">Talking about London,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">I joined a gymnastics class.</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">In London?</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">Yeah. I had to bend over</font>
<font color="#ffffff">backwards to get in, though.</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">CHEERING AND APPLAUSE</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">EXAGGERATED THUDS</font>

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<font color="#ffff00"># Hey, pretty girl,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">in your dark brown knickers!</font>

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<font color="#ffffff"># When you gonna take me</font>
<font color="#ffffff">to the retail park? #</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Talking about...</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">I went to one of them, like,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">London...</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">..sort of big London</font>
<font color="#ffff00">department store, yeah?</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">I went to the electrical</font>
<font color="#ffff00">department, right?</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">Mm.</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">And I said, "Is there anyone</font>
<font color="#ffff00">here can sell me a kettle?"</font>

62
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<font color="#ffff00">And the bloke says,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">"Kenwood?"</font>

63
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<font color="#ffff00">And I said, "Yeah, well, can you</font>
<font color="#ffff00">fetch me him, then?"</font>

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<font color="#ffff00"># Way...ya, ya, yo...</font>

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<font color="#ffff00"># Way... #</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">TINKLING DESCENDING-SCALE MUSIC</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">EXAGGERATED THUDS</font>

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<font color="#ffff00"># Hey, little girl,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">in your dark brown knickers!</font>

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<font color="#ffffff"># When you gonna take me</font>
<font color="#ffffff">to Carpetright? #</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">Hey, Bob? Can you do this?</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Watching.</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">STRAINS</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Oh, chinny-chin-chin.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Chinny-chin-chin-chin.</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Chin-chin-chin-chin-chinny</font>
<font color="#ffff00">mister!</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Mr Chin-Chin-Chin!</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Mr Chin-Chin-Chin-Chin-Chinny!</font>
<font color="#ffff00">That's you, Mr Chin.</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">Ooh!</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">I extend me chin</font>
<font color="#ffffff">and you treat me like that?</font>

79
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<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, well, why not?</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Hey, Vic, in London,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">got myself a new wig.</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">What, really?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Yes. Special London wig.</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">Oh...</font>

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<font color="#ffff00"># Hey, there, London guy</font>

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<font color="#ffffff"># Lovely wig</font>
<font color="#ffffff">and a lovely bright smile. #</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">Did you go to a London wig shop?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Yes, I did. One in North London.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah.</font>

86
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<font color="#ffffff">What was it called?</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Wigs & Pigs.</font>

88
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<font color="#ffff00">Yep. Pigs round the back,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">wigs in the front.</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">Wigs in the front, yeah.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah.</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">It's a beautiful piece.</font>

91
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<font color="#ffff00">It makes me a real London guy.</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, beautiful smile,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">walking around with</font>
<font color="#ffff00">a bit of pepper in me pouch.</font>

93
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<font color="#ffff00">Do you know what I mean?</font>

94
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<font color="#ffffff">Yeah, I do!</font>

95
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<font color="#ffff00">Well, can I unveil it tonight?</font>
<font color="#ffffff">I'd like to see it, yeah.</font>

96
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<font color="#ffff00">I'd like you to be first to see it.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah, go on, show us it. Yeah.</font>

97
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<font color="#ffff00">Just think "London guy", yeah?</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah!</font>

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<font color="#ffff00"># Hey, there, London guy... #</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">Ha-ha!</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">LAUGHTER</font>

101
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<font color="#ffffff">APPLAUSE</font>

102
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<font color="#ffffff">That's good.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">It's not bad, is it?</font>

103
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<font color="#ffffff">I really like that.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">It's a London. London...</font>

104
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<font color="#ffff00">Just check the blend at the</font>
<font color="#ffff00">back for us.</font>

105
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<font color="#ffffff">Check the blend?</font>

106
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<font color="#ffffff">MOUTHS</font>

107
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<font color="#ffff00">Is it...?</font>

108
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<font color="#ffffff">Ha-ha-ha! No, it looks good.</font>

109
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<font color="#ffffff">It looks really nice.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">It's great, innit?</font>

110
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<font color="#ffffff">It's, er, Kirk Douglas?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">No, you're near.</font>

111
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<font color="#ffffff">Captain Kirk?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">It's Captain Kirk!</font>

112
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<font color="#ffff00">Don't you reckon?</font>

113
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<font color="#ffff00">Cost a few extra pounds</font>
<font color="#ffff00">cos of the blend. Obviously.</font>

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<font color="#ffffff">Yeah. Ha-ha-ha.</font>

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<font color="#ffff00">Hey, watch what I can do with</font>
<font color="#ffff00">it, right?</font>

116
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<font color="#ffff00">Pull my... You'll enjoy this.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Pull my finger. Pretty hard.</font>

117
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<font color="#ffffff">Oh, hang on... </font><font color="#ffff00">Just to get me going.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">No, it's not that.</font>

118
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<font color="#ffff00">Right, watch.</font>

119
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<font color="#ffffff">LAUGHTER</font>

120
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<font color="#ffffff">You're kidding!</font>

121
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<font color="#ffffff">Whoa!</font>

122
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<font color="#ffff00">Yeah?</font>

123
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<font color="#ffffff">I tell you what...</font>
<font color="#ffff00">What?</font>

124
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<font color="#ffffff">I can make it even more</font>
<font color="#ffffff">snappy, more London</font>

125
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<font color="#ffffff">and exciting.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">You can make this more London?!</font>

126
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<font color="#ffffff">Yeah, yeah. </font><font color="#ffff00">Go on, then.</font>

127
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<font color="#ffffff">Go on, let's pull your finger</font>
<font color="#ffffff">again.</font>

128
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<font color="#ffff00">Yeah.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">OK, go.</font>

129
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<font color="#ffffff">LAUGHTER</font>

130
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<font color="#ffffff">Oh.</font>

131
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<font color="#ffff00">What did you put under it,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">then?</font>

132
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<font color="#ffffff">A nice slice of ham.</font>

133
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<font color="#ffff00">A slice of ham?!</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah.</font>

134
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<font color="#ffff00">You think a London guy goes</font>
<font color="#ffff00">around with ham under his wig?!</font>

135
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<font color="#ffffff">Well, what does a London</font>
<font color="#ffffff">guy have under his wig?</font>

136
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<font color="#ffff00">I don't know. Lettuce?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Something nice like that?</font>

137
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<font color="#ffffff">Well, get rid of it, then.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, I'd like to!</font>

138
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<font color="#ffffff">Here, put it in the soapy</font>
<font color="#ffffff">water here. </font><font color="#ffff00">Ham?!</font>

139
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<font color="#ffff00">Thank you.</font>

140
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<font color="#ffffff">APPLAUSE</font>

141
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<font color="#ffffff">SPOOKY MUSIC</font>

142
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<font color="#ffffff">Well, here we are,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">looking for ghosts again.</font>

143
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<font color="#ffff00">Yeah.</font>

144
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<font color="#ffffff">And we're here in the main</font>
<font color="#ffffff">dressing room at the BBC,</font>

145
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<font color="#ffffff">where all the big stars were</font>
<font color="#ffffff">housed.</font>

146
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<font color="#ffff00">Yes, now, this place is derelict</font>
<font color="#ffff00">now, but this was the main dressing</font>
<font color="#ffff00">room.</font>

147
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<font color="#ffffff">So you'd have all the big stars</font>
<font color="#ffffff">in here on their own.</font>

148
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<font color="#ffff00">Valerie Singleton...</font>

149
00:06:21,240 --> 00:06:23,680
<font color="#ffffff">Esther Rantzen. Willie Rushton.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Willie Rushton...</font>

150
00:06:23,680 --> 00:06:26,200
<font color="#ffffff">Er, Roy Castle's been often</font>
<font color="#ffffff">heard.</font>

151
00:06:26,200 --> 00:06:29,120
<font color="#ffffff">Well, occasionally you can hear</font>
<font color="#ffffff">a trumpeting and tap dancing.</font>

152
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<font color="#ffff00">Tap, tap, tap.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Tap, tap, tap.</font>

153
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<font color="#ffff00">And we believe that's Roy Castle...</font>

154
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<font color="#ffffff">EERIE CLANG</font>

155
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<font color="#ffff00">Oh, what was that?!</font>

156
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:35,400
<font color="#00ffff">BLEEP!</font>

157
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<font color="#ffffff">Oh, for </font><font color="#00ffff">BLEEP!</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Did you hear that?!</font>

158
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<font color="#ffff00">Did you </font><font color="#ffffff">BLEEP </font><font color="#ffff00">hear it?!</font>
<font color="#ffffff">The TV just came on.</font>

159
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<font color="#ffff00">It's like static. </font><font color="#ffffff">And then there</font>
<font color="#ffffff">were some words...</font>

160
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<font color="#ffffff">Have a listen.</font>

161
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<font color="#ffffff">FAINTLY: </font><font color="#00ffff">Nice to see you,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">to see you...</font>

162
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<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, yes.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Ooh, did you hear that?</font>

163
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<font color="#ffff00">It's very distant.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Was that Brucie?</font>

164
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<font color="#ffffff">I think it was. </font><font color="#ffff00">I think it was Bruce</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Forsyth. Yeah.</font>

165
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<font color="#ffffff">Hang on, let's see if we can get...</font>
<font color="#ffffff">What channel was he on?</font>

166
00:06:54,640 --> 00:06:56,520
<font color="#ffff00">Well, depends which Bruce you want.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Which one?</font>

167
00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,040
<font color="#ffff00">Erm... BBC, Strictly,</font>

168
00:06:58,040 --> 00:07:02,240
<font color="#ffff00">or ITV for Price, erm... Play Your</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Cards...Turn Your Cards Over...</font>

169
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<font color="#ffffff">Turn Your Cards Over?</font>
<font color="#ffffff">I like that one, yeah.</font>

170
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<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, we actually think...</font>
<font color="#ffffff">That's it...</font>

171
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<font color="#ffffff">Bruce, are you there?</font>

172
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<font color="#ffff00">Bruce Forsyth, can you hear</font>
<font color="#ffff00">us?</font>

173
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<font color="#ffff00">Oh, what the fuck?</font>

174
00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:18,200
<font color="#ffffff">AS BRUCE FORSYTH:</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Du, du, du, du, du... Nice to see</font>
<font color="#ffffff">you, to see you, nice.</font>

175
00:07:18,200 --> 00:07:20,280
<font color="#ffff00">Is that Bruce or is this still...?</font>

176
00:07:20,280 --> 00:07:21,960
<font color="#ffffff">AS BRUCE: This is Bruce.</font>

177
00:07:21,960 --> 00:07:24,920
<font color="#ffffff">You-You don't get two</font>
<font color="#ffffff">for a card, not in this game.</font>

178
00:07:24,920 --> 00:07:27,680
<font color="#ffff00">You see, what's happened here is the</font>
<font color="#ffff00">spirit of Bruce has...</font>

179
00:07:27,680 --> 00:07:32,040
<font color="#ffffff">AS BRUCE: Ooh! Where's my friend</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Sammy Davis Jr?</font>

180
00:07:32,040 --> 00:07:33,400
<font color="#ffffff">WHISPERS: </font><font color="#ffff00">This is Bruce.</font>

181
00:07:33,400 --> 00:07:35,520
<font color="#ffffff">AS BRUCE: My good friend Sammy Davis</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Jr.</font>

182
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:38,720
<font color="#ffffff">Are you...? Are you there?</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Are you still alive?</font>

183
00:07:38,720 --> 00:07:41,400
<font color="#ffff00">Now, this is very dangerous.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I'm gonna have to bring him out of</font>
<font color="#ffff00">it now.</font>

184
00:07:41,400 --> 00:07:42,920
<font color="#ffffff">Whoa!</font>

185
00:07:42,920 --> 00:07:44,520
<font color="#ffff00">Do you realise what</font>
<font color="#ffff00">happened there?</font>

186
00:07:44,520 --> 00:07:47,040
<font color="#ffffff">NORMAL VOICE: I don't know what</font>
<font color="#ffffff">happened. I just felt very strange.</font>

187
00:07:47,040 --> 00:07:49,560
<font color="#ffff00">Bruce Forsyth entered you there.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Pardon?</font>

188
00:07:49,560 --> 00:07:51,760
<font color="#ffff00">No, his spirit entered</font>
<font color="#ffff00">your body. You became Bruce.</font>

189
00:07:51,760 --> 00:07:53,600
<font color="#ffffff">Oh! I felt...</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Did you feel something?</font>

190
00:07:53,600 --> 00:07:54,720
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah, I did. I felt...</font>

191
00:07:56,520 --> 00:07:57,800
<font color="#ffff00">You felt...</font>

192
00:07:57,800 --> 00:07:59,480
<font color="#ffffff">BURST OF SONG ON TV</font>
<font color="#ffffff">BOTH YELL</font>

193
00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:00,640
<font color="#00ffff">BLEEP </font><font color="#ffffff">hell!</font>

194
00:08:00,640 --> 00:08:02,840
<font color="#00ffff">BLEEP!</font>

195
00:08:02,840 --> 00:08:04,040
<font color="#ffff00">Fucking hell!</font>

196
00:08:04,040 --> 00:08:05,440
<font color="#ffffff">BURST OF SINGING ON TV</font>
<font color="#00ffff">BLEEP!</font>

197
00:08:05,440 --> 00:08:07,680
<font color="#ffff00">Fucking </font><font color="#ffffff">BLEEP!</font>

198
00:08:07,680 --> 00:08:09,480
<font color="#ffffff">BLEEP, BLEEP!</font>

199
00:08:09,480 --> 00:08:11,760
<font color="#ffff00">Fucking... </font><font color="#ffffff">BLEEP!</font>

200
00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,200
<font color="#ffffff">SONG ENDS</font>

201
00:08:17,160 --> 00:08:19,480
<font color="#ffffff">Let's take a trip</font>
<font color="#ffffff">to Novelty Island!</font>

202
00:08:19,480 --> 00:08:20,640
<font color="#ffffff">BELL RINGS</font>

203
00:08:20,640 --> 00:08:23,280
<font color="#ffffff">UPBEAT MUSIC</font>

204
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,000
<font color="#ffffff">AUDIENCE CLAPS ALONG</font>

205
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,440
<font color="#ffffff">And the first act tonight</font>
<font color="#ffffff">on Novelty Island</font>

206
00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:34,560
<font color="#ffffff">claims to own the only tin of</font>
<font color="#ffffff">peaches in the world.</font>

207
00:08:34,560 --> 00:08:37,240
<font color="#ffffff">INCOHERENTLY: Ladies and gentlemen,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">quite a boast, ladies and gentlemen.</font>

208
00:08:37,240 --> 00:08:38,640
<font color="#ffffff">Quite a boast.</font>

209
00:08:38,640 --> 00:08:40,080
<font color="#ffffff">A boast.</font>

210
00:08:40,080 --> 00:08:42,000
<font color="#ffffff">NORMAL VOICE:</font>
<font color="#ffffff">I'm sure you'll agree...</font>

211
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,240
<font color="#ffffff">INCOHERENTLY: ..quite a boast.</font>

212
00:08:43,240 --> 00:08:44,440
<font color="#ffffff">LAUGHTER</font>

213
00:08:44,440 --> 00:08:46,000
<font color="#ffffff">I mean, quite a boast.</font>

214
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:50,080
<font color="#ffffff">NORMAL VOICE: Tonight he's going to</font>
<font color="#ffffff">be making an international phone</font>
<font color="#ffffff">call -</font>

215
00:08:50,080 --> 00:08:51,920
<font color="#ffffff">it's Mr Wobbly Hand.</font>

216
00:08:51,920 --> 00:08:54,760
<font color="#ffffff">WOBBLING</font>
<font color="#ffffff">CHEERING</font>

217
00:09:01,240 --> 00:09:02,760
<font color="#ffffff">Fuck off!</font>

218
00:09:05,120 --> 00:09:08,680
<font color="#ffffff">KEYPAD BEEPS</font>

219
00:09:08,680 --> 00:09:10,160
<font color="#ffffff">LINE RINGS</font>

220
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:19,480
<font color="#ffffff">NIGERIAN ACCENT: </font><font color="#00ffff">Hello? This is the</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Chief of Police in Lagos.</font>

221
00:09:20,720 --> 00:09:22,280
<font color="#00ffff">Lagos is so hot today.</font>

222
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:23,680
<font color="#00ffff">How is it with you?</font>

223
00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:28,400
<font color="#ffffff">WOBBLING</font>

224
00:09:36,400 --> 00:09:37,720
<font color="#00ffff">Hello?</font>

225
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:38,920
<font color="#00ffff">Hello?</font>

226
00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:48,200
<font color="#ffffff">Act number two in the Novelty Island</font>
<font color="#ffffff">paddock is Dr Alvin Gas.</font>

227
00:09:48,200 --> 00:09:51,320
<font color="#ffffff">Dr Alvin Gas claims to be</font>
<font color="#ffffff">the only person in the world</font>

228
00:09:51,320 --> 00:09:53,760
<font color="#ffffff">to ever have eaten an inkwell.</font>

229
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:55,400
<font color="#ffffff">INCOHERENTLY: Quite a boast.</font>

230
00:09:55,400 --> 00:09:58,480
<font color="#ffffff">Quite a boast, ladies and</font>
<font color="#ffffff">gentlemen, quite a boast.</font>

231
00:09:58,480 --> 00:10:02,440
<font color="#ffffff">Quite a boast.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">What a boast that is.</font>

232
00:10:02,440 --> 00:10:06,400
<font color="#ffffff">NORMAL VOICE: Tonight he</font>
<font color="#ffffff">presents carpentry and camping -</font>
<font color="#ffffff">it's Dr Alvin Gas!</font>

233
00:10:06,400 --> 00:10:08,120
<font color="#ffffff">'60s MUSIC</font>

234
00:10:08,120 --> 00:10:10,560
<font color="#ffffff">CHEERING AND APPLAUSE</font>

235
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:17,520
<font color="#ffffff">So, Dr Alvin Gas.</font>

236
00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:19,840
<font color="#ffffff">Tonight you're gonna present</font>
<font color="#ffffff">carpentry and camping.</font>

237
00:10:19,840 --> 00:10:21,200
<font color="#ffffff">What's all that about, then?</font>

238
00:10:21,200 --> 00:10:23,840
<font color="#00ff00">So, simply, I'm gonna erect</font>
<font color="#00ff00">this tent,</font>

239
00:10:23,840 --> 00:10:24,960
<font color="#00ff00">I'm gonna jump inside...</font>

240
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:27,120
<font color="#ffffff">PHONE: </font><font color="#00ffff">Hello?</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Oh...</font>

241
00:10:27,120 --> 00:10:28,320
<font color="#00ffff">Hello?</font>

242
00:10:28,320 --> 00:10:29,720
<font color="#ffffff">Come on, you might as well</font>
<font color="#ffffff">get it.</font>

243
00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,240
<font color="#00ffff">Is there anybody there?</font>

244
00:10:31,240 --> 00:10:32,720
<font color="#00ff00">Hello?</font>

245
00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:35,360
<font color="#00ff00">No, no, it's George Ezra.</font>

246
00:10:35,360 --> 00:10:37,400
<font color="#00ff00">Yeah. No, he's here.</font>

247
00:10:38,400 --> 00:10:39,680
<font color="#00ff00">I'll...I'll just check.</font>

248
00:10:40,960 --> 00:10:43,280
<font color="#00ff00">Were you ever a supply milkman?</font>

249
00:10:43,280 --> 00:10:46,160
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah, I was. I was actually,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">yeah.</font>

250
00:10:46,160 --> 00:10:48,000
<font color="#ffffff">IMITATES HOST'S INCOHERENT VOICE:</font>
<font color="#00ff00">Quiet a boast.</font>

251
00:10:49,960 --> 00:10:51,000
<font color="#ffffff">APPLAUSE</font>

252
00:10:52,240 --> 00:10:54,080
<font color="#ffffff">OK, brilliant. Thank you.</font>

253
00:10:54,080 --> 00:10:56,320
<font color="#ffffff">Anyway, so carpentry and</font>
<font color="#ffffff">camping.</font>

254
00:10:56,320 --> 00:10:57,520
<font color="#00ff00">So, I erect the tent,</font>

255
00:10:57,520 --> 00:11:00,600
<font color="#00ff00">I'm gonna jump inside and I'm gonna</font>
<font color="#00ff00">build you a chair.</font>

256
00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:02,680
<font color="#ffffff">Fantastic. Off we go.</font>

257
00:11:02,680 --> 00:11:04,240
<font color="#ffffff">Erect the tent.</font>

258
00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:05,520
<font color="#ffffff">Wahey!</font>

259
00:11:05,520 --> 00:11:07,160
<font color="#ffffff">AUDIENCE: </font><font color="#ffff00">Ooh!</font>

260
00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:10,080
<font color="#ffffff">There's the tent erected.</font>

261
00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:14,240
<font color="#ffffff">Dr Alvin Gas will now enter</font>
<font color="#ffffff">the tent</font>

262
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:16,720
<font color="#ffffff">and make a chair.</font>

263
00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:18,880
<font color="#ffffff">Are you in there?</font>
<font color="#00ff00">I'm in!</font>

264
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:22,520
<font color="#ffffff">HAMMERING AND SAWING</font>

265
00:11:29,520 --> 00:11:31,440
<font color="#ffffff">He's in there with his toolbag...</font>
<font color="#ffffff">DRILLING</font>

266
00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,840
<font color="#ffffff">..making a chair.</font>

267
00:11:33,840 --> 00:11:37,120
<font color="#ffffff">I wonder what that chair</font>
<font color="#ffffff">is going to look like.</font>

268
00:11:38,240 --> 00:11:41,200
<font color="#ffffff">Pretty impressive if he does it</font>
<font color="#ffffff">right.</font>

269
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:43,080
<font color="#ffffff">Are you anywhere near</font>
<font color="#ffffff">finished?</font>

270
00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:45,800
<font color="#00ff00">Just give me a minute. </font><font color="#ffffff">I ain't got</font>
<font color="#ffffff">a minute. Come on.</font>

271
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,200
<font color="#00ff00">OK. Right, I'm done.</font>

272
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,640
<font color="#ffffff">Go on, let's have a look, then.</font>

273
00:11:53,040 --> 00:11:55,560
<font color="#ffffff">INCOHERENTLY: Quite a throw.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">That's quite a throw.</font>

274
00:11:57,080 --> 00:11:58,400
<font color="#ffffff">That fantastic chair!</font>

275
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,640
<font color="#ffffff">APPLAUSE</font>

276
00:12:00,640 --> 00:12:03,840
<font color="#ffffff">Pretty good.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Well done, Dr Alvin Gas!</font>

277
00:12:05,280 --> 00:12:08,080
<font color="#ffffff">So that's it, you've finished now,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">have you?</font>

278
00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:10,880
<font color="#ffffff">ALVIN: </font><font color="#00ff00">Er, I'd quite like to</font>
<font color="#00ff00">make you a bed, actually.</font>

279
00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:15,160
<font color="#ffffff">Well, no, I'm afraid that's probably</font>
<font color="#ffffff">quite enough, thank you.</font>

280
00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:17,600
<font color="#ffffff">Dr Alvin Gas.</font>

281
00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:31,920
<font color="#ffffff">It's magic!</font>

282
00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:36,960
<font color="#ffffff">Act number three</font>
<font color="#ffffff">in the Novelty Island paddock</font>

283
00:12:36,960 --> 00:12:41,760
<font color="#ffffff">claims he once threw a bucket of</font>
<font color="#ffffff">stones into the River Thames.</font>

284
00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:43,680
<font color="#ffffff">INCOHERENTLY: Quite a boast.</font>

285
00:12:43,680 --> 00:12:45,080
<font color="#ffffff">That's quite a boast.</font>

286
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:48,480
<font color="#ffffff">NORMAL VOICE: It is... Oh...</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Please welcome Graham Lister.</font>

287
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:51,320
<font color="#ffffff">DRAMATIC MUSIC</font>
<font color="#ffffff">APPLAUSE</font>

288
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:01,000
<font color="#ffffff">AUDIENCE CLAPS ALONG TO MUSIC</font>

289
00:13:02,360 --> 00:13:04,200
<font color="#ffff00">Good evening, ladies and</font>
<font color="#ffff00">gentlemen.</font>

290
00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,560
<font color="#ffff00">I'm here to provide</font>
<font color="#ffff00">some quality entertainment.</font>

291
00:13:06,560 --> 00:13:07,880
<font color="#ffff00">It's been lacking up to now.</font>

292
00:13:07,880 --> 00:13:09,520
<font color="#ffffff">Oh, really?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I present...</font>

293
00:13:09,520 --> 00:13:11,600
<font color="#ffff00">What are you looking at?</font>
<font color="#ffffff">I... Yeah...</font>

294
00:13:11,600 --> 00:13:15,280
<font color="#ffff00">Look at you, you workshy fop.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Bring... Bring a camera next time.</font>

295
00:13:15,280 --> 00:13:16,560
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, how bulbous is your</font>
<font color="#ffff00">head?</font>

296
00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:17,800
<font color="#ffffff">Hoo-hoo.</font>

297
00:13:17,800 --> 00:13:20,320
<font color="#ffff00">Eh? Eh? And look at your</font>
<font color="#ffff00">clown shoes.</font>

298
00:13:20,320 --> 00:13:23,400
<font color="#ffff00">What do you do, parade round the</font>
<font color="#ffff00">estate, going, "Honk, honk"?</font>

299
00:13:23,400 --> 00:13:25,560
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah. </font><font color="#ffff00">Yes, I present tonight a</font>
<font color="#ffff00">quality item.</font>

300
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:28,280
<font color="#ffff00">I've performed it before</font>
<font color="#ffff00">in front of doctors, dentists,</font>

301
00:13:28,280 --> 00:13:31,080
<font color="#ffff00">architects and the like.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Oof, change the record.</font>

302
00:13:32,160 --> 00:13:34,840
<font color="#ffff00">You change your record.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah, I will.</font>

303
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:36,960
<font color="#ffff00">So I've won that one!</font>

304
00:13:36,960 --> 00:13:40,440
<font color="#ffff00">You said you'd change your record.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah, all right, then, yeah.</font>

305
00:13:40,440 --> 00:13:42,960
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, I present...crackers and</font>
<font color="#ffff00">knackers.</font>

306
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:45,840
<font color="#ffff00">I will destroy three crackers</font>
<font color="#ffff00">with me knackers.</font>

307
00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:49,120
<font color="#ffff00">So, Vic, I'll perform over here,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">if you don't mind. I've been in</font>
<font color="#ffff00">the paddock.</font>

308
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:50,640
<font color="#ffff00">It's strictly legal.</font>

309
00:13:52,760 --> 00:13:55,000
<font color="#ffff00">Count these out, Reeves.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">One cracker...</font>

310
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,640
<font color="#ffff00">One.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Two.</font>

311
00:13:56,640 --> 00:13:57,840
<font color="#ffffff">Two. Three.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Three.</font>

312
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:00,400
<font color="#ffff00">Knackers and crackers.</font>

313
00:14:02,040 --> 00:14:03,560
<font color="#ffffff">APPLAUSE</font>

314
00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:05,520
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, it's a quality item!</font>

315
00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:08,600
<font color="#ffff00">That's why you're clapping.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">You're seeing quality.</font>

316
00:14:08,600 --> 00:14:10,400
<font color="#ffffff">CHEERING</font>

317
00:14:11,800 --> 00:14:14,680
<font color="#ffff00">Crackers and knackers.</font>

318
00:14:14,680 --> 00:14:16,720
<font color="#ffffff">CHEERING</font>

319
00:14:20,040 --> 00:14:22,680
<font color="#ffffff">Ha-ha-ha. Oh-oh!</font>

320
00:14:22,680 --> 00:14:23,960
<font color="#ffffff">Oh!</font>

321
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:30,200
<font color="#ffffff">Well, there we are,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">ladies and gentlemen.</font>

322
00:14:30,200 --> 00:14:33,440
<font color="#ffffff">The three acts that</font>
<font color="#ffffff">presented themselves</font>

323
00:14:33,440 --> 00:14:35,080
<font color="#ffffff">in the paddock of Novelty Island.</font>

324
00:14:35,080 --> 00:14:39,080
<font color="#ffffff">And to judge those and make their</font>
<font color="#ffffff">decision on the winner,</font>

325
00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:43,760
<font color="#ffffff">please welcome the international...</font>
<font color="#ffffff">singing sensation...</font>

326
00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:45,360
<font color="#ffffff">..Elton John!</font>

327
00:14:47,200 --> 00:14:49,600
<font color="#ffffff">CHEERING</font>

328
00:14:54,280 --> 00:14:56,680
<font color="#ffffff">So, Elton...</font>

329
00:14:56,680 --> 00:15:00,680
<font color="#ffffff">..do you declare the winner...</font>
<font color="#ffffff">number one, Mr Wobbly Hand?</font>

330
00:15:00,680 --> 00:15:03,320
<font color="#ffffff">One plop for no,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">two plops for yes.</font>

331
00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:06,760
<font color="#ffffff">PLOP</font>

332
00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:07,920
<font color="#ffffff">No.</font>

333
00:15:07,920 --> 00:15:10,640
<font color="#ffffff">Was it act number two?</font>

334
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:13,320
<font color="#ffffff">Carpentry and camping?</font>

335
00:15:14,480 --> 00:15:15,600
<font color="#ffffff">PLOP</font>

336
00:15:15,600 --> 00:15:16,720
<font color="#ffffff">No!</font>

337
00:15:18,480 --> 00:15:22,400
<font color="#ffffff">Which means that the winner</font>
<font color="#ffffff">tonight, am I right,</font>

338
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:24,200
<font color="#ffffff">is act number three, Graham Lister?</font>

339
00:15:25,320 --> 00:15:27,320
<font color="#ffffff">PLOP...PLOP</font>

340
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,360
<font color="#ffffff">CHEERING</font>

341
00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,440
<font color="#ffffff">UPBEAT MUSIC</font>

342
00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,720
<font color="#00ffff">BOTH: # I never felt this way</font>

343
00:15:38,720 --> 00:15:41,240
<font color="#00ffff"># I never felt this way before</font>

344
00:15:42,720 --> 00:15:45,920
<font color="#00ffff"># Making love to a golden eagle</font>

345
00:15:51,440 --> 00:15:54,520
<font color="#00ffff"># Making love to a golden eagle. #</font>

346
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:57,600
<font color="#ffffff">Graham Lister, thank you. Goodnight</font>
<font color="#ffffff">from Novelty Island. There we are.</font>

347
00:15:57,600 --> 00:15:58,840
<font color="#ffffff">CHEERING</font>

348
00:16:12,880 --> 00:16:16,280
<font color="#ffff00">We are urban free runners</font>
<font color="#ffff00">exploiting the environment</font>

349
00:16:16,280 --> 00:16:17,960
<font color="#ffff00">for political reasons.</font>

350
00:16:17,960 --> 00:16:20,000
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah, we live right</font>
<font color="#ffffff">on the edge of Brixton.</font>

351
00:16:23,920 --> 00:16:26,040
<font color="#ffff00">Free running! For Banksy!</font>

352
00:16:26,040 --> 00:16:27,640
<font color="#ffff00">For graffiti!</font>

353
00:16:27,640 --> 00:16:28,840
<font color="#ffff00">For bollards!</font>

354
00:16:28,840 --> 00:16:30,520
<font color="#ffffff">Grand Designs.</font>

355
00:16:36,880 --> 00:16:41,200
<font color="#ffff00">The local council are definitely up</font>
<font color="#ffff00">to something and we're watching.</font>

356
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:43,160
<font color="#ffff00">We have got microphones in</font>
<font color="#ffff00">bricks</font>

357
00:16:43,160 --> 00:16:45,040
<font color="#ffff00">so we can hear the street chat.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah.</font>

358
00:16:49,840 --> 00:16:51,160
<font color="#ffffff">SPEECH SYNTHESIZER:</font>
<font color="#00ff00">Bollards! Graffiti!</font>

359
00:16:51,160 --> 00:16:54,280
<font color="#ffffff">We quite often are found</font>
<font color="#ffffff">tagging politicians' cars.</font>

360
00:16:54,280 --> 00:16:56,520
<font color="#ffffff">I recently tagged the Lord</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Mayor's car</font>

361
00:16:56,520 --> 00:16:58,440
<font color="#ffffff">as he was in a</font>
<font color="#ffffff">cash-and-carry,</font>

362
00:16:58,440 --> 00:16:59,800
<font color="#ffffff">probably buying moules</font>
<font color="#ffffff">marinière,</font>

363
00:16:59,800 --> 00:17:00,880
<font color="#ffffff">something like that.</font>

364
00:17:00,880 --> 00:17:02,360
<font color="#ffff00">Big fat pig!</font>

365
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:03,760
<font color="#ffffff">We just live on street food.</font>

366
00:17:03,760 --> 00:17:05,560
<font color="#ffffff">We're going to my mum's</font>
<font color="#ffffff">tonight for lasagne!</font>

367
00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:08,640
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, it's a nice seat. Fuck it!</font>

368
00:17:09,640 --> 00:17:13,280
<font color="#ffffff">I haven't changed my duvet</font>
<font color="#ffffff">for 15 months.</font>

369
00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:17,640
<font color="#ffffff">And I won't until the</font>
<font color="#ffffff">government gets its shit together.</font>

370
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:19,760
<font color="#ffffff">SPEECH SYNTHESIZER</font>

371
00:17:22,320 --> 00:17:24,920
<font color="#ffffff">My cousin Terry is a hoarder.</font>

372
00:17:27,360 --> 00:17:29,800
<font color="#ffffff">SPEECH SYNTHESIZER</font>

373
00:17:29,800 --> 00:17:31,640
<font color="#ffff00">Kieran here has made love to</font>
<font color="#ffff00">six girls.</font>

374
00:17:31,640 --> 00:17:34,440
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah, that's right, in the last</font>
<font color="#ffffff">week.</font>

375
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:37,240
<font color="#ffff00">Six different girls,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">all of them anarchists.</font>

376
00:17:37,240 --> 00:17:41,120
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah. All of them were, erm,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">culturally diverse.</font>

377
00:17:41,120 --> 00:17:42,880
<font color="#ffffff">SPEECH SYNTHESIZER</font>

378
00:17:42,880 --> 00:17:44,480
<font color="#ffff00">Ooh-hoo! Yeah!</font>

379
00:17:44,480 --> 00:17:48,440
<font color="#ffff00">We are free runners exploiting</font>
<font color="#ffff00">the urban environment.</font>

380
00:17:48,440 --> 00:17:50,800
<font color="#ffffff">Join us on our urban</font>
<font color="#ffffff">adventure.</font>

381
00:17:50,800 --> 00:17:52,560
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, like a safari.</font>

382
00:17:52,560 --> 00:17:53,880
<font color="#ffff00">Come on.</font>

383
00:17:53,880 --> 00:17:55,840
<font color="#ffffff">SPEECH SYNTHESIZER</font>

384
00:17:57,280 --> 00:17:59,280
<font color="#ffffff">CHEERING</font>

385
00:18:04,920 --> 00:18:07,760
<font color="#ffffff">Welcome back. Well, I tell...</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Bob, there was a terrible,</font>

386
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:10,160
<font color="#ffffff">awful fight, awful fight...</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Ooh, I've got...</font>

387
00:18:10,160 --> 00:18:12,800
<font color="#ffff00">I've got to stop you there, Vic.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Vic, you've got a bug on your face.</font>

388
00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,080
<font color="#ffffff">Have I got a what? I've got a bit of</font>
<font color="#ffffff">shit on me face?</font>

389
00:18:16,080 --> 00:18:18,120
<font color="#ffff00">I didn't say, "Shit."</font>
<font color="#ffffff">You did.</font>

390
00:18:18,120 --> 00:18:20,240
<font color="#ffff00">I said, "You've got a bug on</font>
<font color="#ffff00">your face."</font>

391
00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:22,000
<font color="#ffffff">No, you said it again, you said I've</font>
<font color="#ffffff">got a bit of shit on my face.</font>

392
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,400
<font color="#ffff00">No. All right, you got a, erm...</font>
<font color="#ffff00">You've got a fly on your face,</font>

393
00:18:25,400 --> 00:18:26,600
<font color="#ffff00">just next to your nose.</font>

394
00:18:26,600 --> 00:18:29,240
<font color="#ffffff">If I've got a fly on my face,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">it's none of your business.</font>

395
00:18:29,240 --> 00:18:32,720
<font color="#ffff00">You're opening a business</font>
<font color="#ffff00">with a fly?</font>

396
00:18:32,720 --> 00:18:35,120
<font color="#ffffff">I never said that. I said,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">"It's none of your business."</font>

397
00:18:35,120 --> 00:18:38,760
<font color="#ffff00">No, you didn't. You said you were</font>
<font color="#ffff00">opening a business with a fly!</font>

398
00:18:38,760 --> 00:18:40,920
<font color="#ffff00">I've got this...fly spray.</font>

399
00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:42,720
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah? Is it poisonous?</font>

400
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:44,000
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah.</font>

401
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,880
<font color="#ffffff">Is it illegal?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, highly illegal.</font>

402
00:18:45,880 --> 00:18:47,840
<font color="#ffff00">It's banned in every county</font>
<font color="#ffff00">in this country.</font>

403
00:18:47,840 --> 00:18:49,640
<font color="#ffffff">Every county?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Apart from...</font>

404
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,080
<font color="#ffffff">What? Lincoln?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Lincoln.</font>

405
00:18:52,080 --> 00:18:53,840
<font color="#ffff00">Are you ready? </font><font color="#ffffff">Yeah.</font>

406
00:18:53,840 --> 00:18:55,320
<font color="#ffffff">Argh!</font>

407
00:18:55,320 --> 00:18:56,920
<font color="#ffffff">YELLS</font>

408
00:18:56,920 --> 00:18:58,160
<font color="#ffffff">Oh!</font>

409
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:00,480
<font color="#ffff00">Seems to have done the trick.</font>

410
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:02,160
<font color="#ffffff">Has it gone?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, it's gone!</font>

411
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:04,240
<font color="#ffffff">Oh, thank goodness for that.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah.</font>

412
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:05,840
<font color="#00ffff">All right, lads.</font>

413
00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:07,040
<font color="#ffff00">All right. Who are you, mate?</font>

414
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:08,280
<font color="#00ffff">Bear Grylls.</font>

415
00:19:09,480 --> 00:19:10,960
<font color="#ffff00">Bear Grylls?</font>

416
00:19:10,960 --> 00:19:14,800
<font color="#00ffff">You know, fart about the woods,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">climbing, jumping up and down,</font>

417
00:19:14,800 --> 00:19:16,200
<font color="#00ffff">fannying about.</font>

418
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:17,520
<font color="#ffffff">I know him.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah.</font>

419
00:19:17,520 --> 00:19:20,200
<font color="#ffff00">We're in the middle of a show, Bear,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">sorry. What d'you want?</font>

420
00:19:20,200 --> 00:19:23,400
<font color="#00ffff">I just need someone to hold me</font>
<font color="#00ffff">ladder. Our lass has locked us out</font>
<font color="#00ffff">the house.</font>

421
00:19:23,400 --> 00:19:25,720
<font color="#ffffff">I'll help him. </font><font color="#ffff00">No, don't.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">We're doing a show, Vic.</font>

422
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,760
<font color="#ffff00">I'm sorry, we've got a show</font>
<font color="#ffff00">to do. </font><font color="#00ffff">You're doing a show?</font>

423
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:28,800
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah.</font>

424
00:19:28,800 --> 00:19:32,640
<font color="#00ffff">What, telling jokes? Having a</font>
<font color="#00ffff">daft laugh, messing about an' that?</font>

425
00:19:32,640 --> 00:19:34,000
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah.</font>

426
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,560
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, that's what we're doing.</font>

427
00:19:35,560 --> 00:19:37,480
<font color="#00ffff">Is this you two, is it, in big</font>
<font color="#00ffff">letters?</font>

428
00:19:37,480 --> 00:19:38,760
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah.</font>

429
00:19:38,760 --> 00:19:40,920
<font color="#00ffff">Are you the Bob one?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">That's me, yeah.</font>

430
00:19:40,920 --> 00:19:42,640
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah, thought so.</font>

431
00:19:44,280 --> 00:19:47,000
<font color="#00ffff">You know this is all lit behind</font>
<font color="#00ffff">here, don't you?</font>

432
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,960
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, I know, yeah.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah.</font>

433
00:19:48,960 --> 00:19:50,560
<font color="#00ffff">That couldn't have been</font>
<font color="#00ffff">cheap, could it?</font>

434
00:19:50,560 --> 00:19:52,120
<font color="#ffff00">All right. Thank you, Bear.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Thank you.</font>

435
00:19:52,120 --> 00:19:53,840
<font color="#00ffff">Oh, here...</font>

436
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:55,880
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, man!</font>

437
00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:57,120
<font color="#ffff00">What is it?</font>

438
00:19:57,120 --> 00:19:58,840
<font color="#00ffff">Have a look at this cat video.</font>

439
00:19:58,840 --> 00:20:00,480
<font color="#ffff00">Cat video?!</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah.</font>

440
00:20:00,480 --> 00:20:02,400
<font color="#ffff00">I've probably seen it.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Do you wanna watch this?</font>

441
00:20:02,400 --> 00:20:03,920
<font color="#ffffff">I've seen it, it's good.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">It's fantastic.</font>

442
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:05,520
<font color="#ffffff">This one's good.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Keep watching.</font>

443
00:20:05,520 --> 00:20:08,280
<font color="#ffff00">All right.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Watch, look...</font>

444
00:20:08,280 --> 00:20:10,080
<font color="#ffffff">Wait a minute...</font>

445
00:20:10,080 --> 00:20:12,200
<font color="#ffff00">Well, nothing's happening!</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Shhh! Just a minute.</font>

446
00:20:16,160 --> 00:20:17,760
<font color="#ffff00">It hasn't even...</font>
<font color="#ffffff">No, no, no. Hang on.</font>

447
00:20:17,760 --> 00:20:19,560
<font color="#00ffff">It's good, Vic, innit?</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah.</font>

448
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:21,240
<font color="#ffff00">Why are you saying it's</font>
<font color="#ffff00">good? Nothing's happened!</font>

449
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:23,120
<font color="#00ffff">It hasn't. Just...</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Well, it will in a minute.</font>

450
00:20:26,240 --> 00:20:27,920
<font color="#ffff00">He has...</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Just a second.</font>

451
00:20:27,920 --> 00:20:30,440
<font color="#ffffff">Hang on.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">About a minute.</font>

452
00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:31,760
<font color="#ffffff">Two maybe.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Two.</font>

453
00:20:31,760 --> 00:20:33,560
<font color="#ffff00">What, till summat happens?! </font><font color="#00ffff">Yeah.</font>

454
00:20:35,360 --> 00:20:37,040
<font color="#ffff00">No, we can't do this...</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Whoa, come on!</font>

455
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:38,680
<font color="#ffff00">No, come on! Let's do the</font>
<font color="#ffff00">show.</font>

456
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,120
<font color="#ffff00">Sorry, Bear. Sorry, Bear.</font>

457
00:20:40,120 --> 00:20:42,640
<font color="#00ffff">It's your loss. It's your loss.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I'm sure it is.</font>

458
00:20:42,640 --> 00:20:43,960
<font color="#ffffff">AUDIENCE: </font><font color="#00ff00">Aww!</font>

459
00:20:43,960 --> 00:20:45,240
<font color="#ffffff">BEAR LAUGHS</font>

460
00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:47,440
<font color="#ffffff">Oh, it's started now, innit?</font>

461
00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,040
<font color="#ffffff">You missed out on...</font>
<font color="#ffff00">I wish I'd watched it now!</font>

462
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:50,920
<font color="#ffffff">LAUGHS</font>

463
00:20:56,360 --> 00:21:00,480
<font color="#ffffff">I'm Derek MacIntosh and this here</font>
<font color="#ffffff">is Rhys Horizon.</font>

464
00:21:00,480 --> 00:21:02,960
<font color="#ffff00">Yep. </font><font color="#ffffff">And we've been camera and</font>
<font color="#ffffff">sound</font>

465
00:21:02,960 --> 00:21:05,840
<font color="#ffffff">for Sir David Attenborough for</font>
<font color="#ffffff">25 years.</font>

466
00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:07,600
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, yeah.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Man and boy.</font>

467
00:21:07,600 --> 00:21:09,520
<font color="#ffffff">And what a wonderful</font>
<font color="#ffffff">geezer he is. </font><font color="#ffff00">Yep.</font>

468
00:21:09,520 --> 00:21:11,160
<font color="#ffffff">An absolutely wonderful man.</font>

469
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:14,320
<font color="#ffffff">Especially when he's had a Horlicks</font>
<font color="#ffffff">and a curry, he's as sweet as a nut.</font>

470
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:15,440
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, yeah!</font>

471
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:19,480
<font color="#ffffff">He used to say to us, "Here, lads,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">get in that field there</font>

472
00:21:19,480 --> 00:21:21,640
<font color="#ffffff">"and film that horse with</font>
<font color="#ffffff">antlers sort of thing."</font>

473
00:21:21,640 --> 00:21:22,720
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, yeah!</font>

474
00:21:22,720 --> 00:21:24,480
<font color="#ffffff">"When you've done that, see if you</font>
<font color="#ffffff">can have a look round,</font>

475
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,200
<font color="#ffffff">"see if you can film something</font>
<font color="#ffffff">else. A rabbit</font>

476
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:27,400
<font color="#ffffff">"or something like that."</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Yep.</font>

477
00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:29,560
<font color="#ffffff">"And when you've done that, creep</font>
<font color="#ffffff">around in the long grasses</font>

478
00:21:29,560 --> 00:21:31,000
<font color="#ffffff">"and film some of the</font>
<font color="#ffffff">creepy-crawlies."</font>

479
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,840
<font color="#ffff00">Yep. </font><font color="#ffffff">"That'd be absolutely</font>
<font color="#ffffff">marvellous.</font>

480
00:21:32,840 --> 00:21:34,480
<font color="#ffffff">"Get out there and film," he</font>
<font color="#ffffff">used to say.</font>

481
00:21:34,480 --> 00:21:36,240
<font color="#ffffff">He was absolutely</font>
<font color="#ffffff">marvellous.</font>

482
00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:38,200
<font color="#ffffff">Here, do you remember</font>
<font color="#ffffff">the time we was in Borneo?</font>

483
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:39,320
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, yeah!</font>

484
00:21:39,320 --> 00:21:40,640
<font color="#ffffff">We was in Borneo.</font>

485
00:21:40,640 --> 00:21:41,960
<font color="#ffffff">David rang us up.</font>

486
00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:43,600
<font color="#ffffff">He says, "I've heard rumour</font>

487
00:21:43,600 --> 00:21:46,680
<font color="#ffffff">"that there's a pair of big horrible</font>
<font color="#ffffff">old hairy things in the jungle."</font>

488
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:47,880
<font color="#ffff00">That's right.</font>

489
00:21:47,880 --> 00:21:51,000
<font color="#ffffff">"In Borneo. I'd like you lads</font>
<font color="#ffffff">to get out there and film it.</font>

490
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,400
<font color="#ffffff">"Capture it on film."</font>

491
00:21:52,400 --> 00:21:54,080
<font color="#ffffff">Now, the thing about David is,</font>

492
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:57,120
<font color="#ffffff">he used to like seeing them</font>
<font color="#ffffff">coupling. </font><font color="#ffff00">Yep!</font>

493
00:21:57,120 --> 00:21:59,960
<font color="#ffffff">You know, doing the old bits</font>
<font color="#ffffff">of how's-your-father.</font>

494
00:21:59,960 --> 00:22:01,040
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, yep!</font>

495
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:03,280
<font color="#ffffff">And so we went out there</font>
<font color="#ffffff">with camera and sound</font>

496
00:22:03,280 --> 00:22:07,520
<font color="#ffffff">and sat there in the jungle in</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Borneo for...it must have been</font>
<font color="#ffffff">three weeks.</font>

497
00:22:07,520 --> 00:22:09,360
<font color="#ffffff">What do you think, Rhys?</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Yes, it must have been...</font>

498
00:22:09,360 --> 00:22:11,480
<font color="#ffff00">Yep. </font><font color="#ffffff">..three weeks were sitting</font>
<font color="#ffffff">there,</font>

499
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:16,160
<font color="#ffffff">and then, all of a sudden, out of</font>
<font color="#ffffff">the jungle came the big horrible</font>
<font color="#ffffff">hairy things.</font>

500
00:22:16,160 --> 00:22:19,640
<font color="#ffffff">And they was as big and as horrible</font>
<font color="#ffffff">as David had described.</font>

501
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,840
<font color="#ffffff">Big head on one of them...</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, yeah!</font>

502
00:22:21,840 --> 00:22:23,680
<font color="#ffffff">Great big hands on the other</font>
<font color="#ffffff">one.</font>

503
00:22:23,680 --> 00:22:25,920
<font color="#ffffff">So I immediately got on the</font>
<font color="#ffffff">dog and bone</font>

504
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:28,360
<font color="#ffffff">and rang David in his hotel room.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Yep!</font>

505
00:22:28,360 --> 00:22:31,240
<font color="#ffffff">I was like, "David, you're in</font>
<font color="#ffffff">luck. They've turned up."</font>

506
00:22:31,240 --> 00:22:32,280
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, yeah!</font>

507
00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:34,480
<font color="#ffffff">"Stop looking at the TV</font>
<font color="#ffffff">and get down there."</font>

508
00:22:34,480 --> 00:22:36,920
<font color="#ffffff">He says, "I'll be down there</font>
<font color="#ffffff">in a minute, lads.</font>

509
00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:39,800
<font color="#ffffff">"Keep 'em at it. I'll get me strides</font>
<font color="#ffffff">on and I'll be right over."</font>

510
00:22:39,800 --> 00:22:40,840
<font color="#ffff00">Yep.</font>

511
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:43,520
<font color="#ffffff">So there they was,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">in the middle of the clearing,</font>

512
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:47,720
<font color="#ffffff">and David strolls in doing his</font>
<font color="#ffffff">famous old David Attenborough</font>
<font color="#ffffff">waddle.</font>

513
00:22:47,720 --> 00:22:50,200
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, yeah! </font><font color="#ffffff">We've all seen it and</font>
<font color="#ffffff">enjoyed it.</font>

514
00:22:50,200 --> 00:22:51,560
<font color="#ffffff">He waddles in there.</font>

515
00:22:51,560 --> 00:22:55,240
<font color="#ffffff">He looks at it, he looks at us, he</font>
<font color="#ffffff">says, "You pair of numpties.</font>

516
00:22:55,240 --> 00:22:57,880
<font color="#ffffff">"That's not one of the big</font>
<font color="#ffffff">hairy things I was looking for.</font>

517
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:01,640
<font color="#ffffff">"That's the Greek Minister of the</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Interior and his wife on holiday</font>

518
00:23:01,640 --> 00:23:03,640
<font color="#ffffff">"having a bit of slap and tickle</font>
<font color="#ffffff">in the jungle."</font>

519
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:04,680
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, yeah!</font>

520
00:23:04,680 --> 00:23:07,520
<font color="#ffffff">Well, you could have knocked me down</font>
<font color="#ffffff">with a feather. That's right, innit?</font>

521
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:08,560
<font color="#ffff00">Yep!</font>

522
00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:13,600
<font color="#ffff00">Well...</font>

523
00:23:13,600 --> 00:23:17,920
<font color="#ffff00">Ladies and gentlemen,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">we're coming towards the end of this</font>
<font color="#ffff00">evening's pro...</font>

524
00:23:17,920 --> 00:23:20,200
<font color="#ffffff">Yeah, but hang on a minute.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Wait a minute, Bob.</font>

525
00:23:20,200 --> 00:23:22,080
<font color="#ffffff">I've got a bit of a surprise for</font>
<font color="#ffffff">you.</font>

526
00:23:22,080 --> 00:23:23,120
<font color="#ffff00">Really?</font>

527
00:23:23,120 --> 00:23:24,960
<font color="#ffffff">Because you've been</font>
<font color="#ffffff">a good fella this week.</font>

528
00:23:24,960 --> 00:23:27,200
<font color="#ffffff">You've had all your dinners.</font>

529
00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:28,720
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, had me dinners.</font>

530
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,320
<font color="#ffffff">Finished reading your book.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Book read.</font>

531
00:23:30,320 --> 00:23:32,280
<font color="#ffffff">Cleared out all them rags</font>
<font color="#ffffff">from under your bed.</font>

532
00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:33,320
<font color="#ffff00">I did that.</font>

533
00:23:33,320 --> 00:23:35,280
<font color="#ffffff">So, I've got you a present</font>
<font color="#ffffff">and it's a new...</font>

534
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:37,680
<font color="#ffffff">I bought this for you.</font>

535
00:23:37,680 --> 00:23:39,800
<font color="#ffffff">It's a new console for you,</font>
<font color="#ffffff">for your gaming.</font>

536
00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:41,680
<font color="#ffff00">Oh, wow, thanks, Vic!</font>

537
00:23:41,680 --> 00:23:44,040
<font color="#ffffff">Cos you broke the last one, didn't</font>
<font color="#ffffff">you? </font><font color="#ffff00">It's a brand-new one for me?</font>

538
00:23:44,040 --> 00:23:45,200
<font color="#ffffff">It's a brand-new one. Yeah.</font>

539
00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:46,440
<font color="#ffff00">Thank you.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Just bought it, yeah.</font>

540
00:23:46,440 --> 00:23:49,480
<font color="#ffff00">Well, that is the end of the</font>
<font color="#ffff00">project, apart from one thing.</font>

541
00:23:49,480 --> 00:23:51,840
<font color="#ffff00">Vic, we've got a special guest</font>
<font color="#ffff00">tonight. </font><font color="#ffffff">Special guest on tonight.</font>

542
00:23:51,840 --> 00:23:53,280
<font color="#ffffff">Ladies and gentlemen,</font>

543
00:23:53,280 --> 00:23:57,240
<font color="#ffffff">please welcome the managing director</font>
<font color="#ffffff">of George Asda.</font>

544
00:24:00,360 --> 00:24:02,400
<font color="#ffffff">George Ezra.</font>

545
00:24:02,400 --> 00:24:04,600
<font color="#ffff00">Ladies and gentlemen!</font>
<font color="#ffffff">CHEERING</font>

546
00:24:06,360 --> 00:24:07,480
<font color="#ffff00">Thank you, George.</font>

547
00:24:08,920 --> 00:24:10,640
<font color="#ffffff">Right, so...</font>

548
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:14,520
<font color="#ffffff">George, what is it you're gonna try</font>
<font color="#ffffff">and sing tonight?</font>

549
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:17,680
<font color="#00ffff">I'm gonna sing a song called</font>
<font color="#00ffff">Shotgun.</font>

550
00:24:17,680 --> 00:24:19,520
<font color="#ffff00">Shotgun. Never heard of that</font>
<font color="#ffff00">one.</font>

551
00:24:19,520 --> 00:24:21,080
<font color="#ffff00">Now, have you, erm...?</font>

552
00:24:21,080 --> 00:24:23,640
<font color="#ffff00">First off, George, have you learnt</font>
<font color="#ffff00">all your lines for the song?</font>

553
00:24:23,640 --> 00:24:25,320
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.</font>

554
00:24:25,320 --> 00:24:26,760
<font color="#ffff00">And you've been to the toilet?</font>

555
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:28,640
<font color="#00ffff">Yep.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, that's good.</font>

556
00:24:28,640 --> 00:24:31,480
<font color="#ffff00">So, George, three, two, one...</font>

557
00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:32,640
<font color="#00ffff"># Home-grown alligator... #</font>

558
00:24:32,640 --> 00:24:34,640
<font color="#ffffff">Hang on, just a minute.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Hang on a minute, George.</font>

559
00:24:34,640 --> 00:24:36,120
<font color="#ffff00">What is it?</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Your cousin.</font>

560
00:24:36,120 --> 00:24:40,080
<font color="#ffff00">Shit, thank you!</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Yeah, George, my cousin Anthony's a</font>
<font color="#ffff00">really big fan of yours.</font>

561
00:24:40,080 --> 00:24:41,160
<font color="#00ffff">Aw!</font>

562
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,360
<font color="#ffff00">Do you mind if he comes out and just</font>
<font color="#ffff00">watches you on stage?</font>

563
00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:45,320
<font color="#00ffff">That'd be ama... I'd love that.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Thank you.</font>

564
00:24:45,320 --> 00:24:47,920
<font color="#ffff00">Anthony!</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Anthony! Get out here!</font>

565
00:24:47,920 --> 00:24:50,440
<font color="#ffff00">Oi! Oi!</font>

566
00:24:50,440 --> 00:24:52,320
<font color="#ffffff">Stand there!</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Stand there!</font>

567
00:24:55,040 --> 00:24:57,280
<font color="#ffff00">And lift the flag up!</font>

568
00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:58,760
<font color="#ffffff">No touching!</font>

569
00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:00,240
<font color="#ffff00">OK...</font>

570
00:25:00,240 --> 00:25:02,320
<font color="#ffffff">No touching, Anthony!</font>

571
00:25:02,320 --> 00:25:04,960
<font color="#ffff00">So, on three, two, one...</font>

572
00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:07,360
<font color="#ffffff">Three, two, one, go.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">George Ezra.</font>

573
00:25:07,360 --> 00:25:11,160
<font color="#00ffff"># Home-grown alligator,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">see you later</font>

574
00:25:11,160 --> 00:25:12,680
<font color="#00ffff"># Gotta hit the road</font>

575
00:25:12,680 --> 00:25:15,880
<font color="#00ffff"># Gotta hit the road</font>

576
00:25:15,880 --> 00:25:17,880
<font color="#00ffff"># Some change in the</font>
<font color="#00ffff">atmosphere</font>

577
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:20,000
<font color="#00ffff"># Architecture unfamiliar</font>

578
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,280
<font color="#00ffff"># I could get used to this</font>

579
00:25:23,920 --> 00:25:27,800
<font color="#00ffff"># Time flies by in the yellow</font>
<font color="#00ffff">and green</font>

580
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,560
<font color="#00ffff"># Stick around</font>
<font color="#00ffff">and you'll see what I mean... #</font>

581
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:32,280
<font color="#ffffff">George... Just...</font>

582
00:25:32,280 --> 00:25:34,000
<font color="#ffffff">As I said bef... There's a</font>
<font color="#ffffff">heater here.</font>

583
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:35,080
<font color="#00ffff">Oh!</font>

584
00:25:35,080 --> 00:25:37,280
<font color="#ffffff">So if you do get a little bit</font>
<font color="#ffffff">chilly...</font>

585
00:25:38,920 --> 00:25:42,720
<font color="#ffffff">..that's the...the speed</font>
<font color="#ffffff">and that's the heat.</font>

586
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:45,080
<font color="#00ffff">OK.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">I'll just get out of your way.</font>

587
00:25:45,080 --> 00:25:48,480
<font color="#00ffff">Yeah, no, thanks very much.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Sorry. Sorry to interrupt.</font>

588
00:25:48,480 --> 00:25:50,480
<font color="#ffffff">Three, two, one... Go!</font>

589
00:25:50,480 --> 00:25:53,120
<font color="#00ffff"># Time flies by</font>
<font color="#00ffff">in the yellow and green... #</font>

590
00:25:53,120 --> 00:25:54,520
<font color="#ffffff">HEATER WHIRS</font>

591
00:25:54,520 --> 00:25:58,240
<font color="#00ffff"># Stick around</font>
<font color="#00ffff">and you'll see what I mean</font>

592
00:25:58,240 --> 00:26:02,760
<font color="#00ffff"># There's a mountaintop</font>
<font color="#00ffff">that I'm dreaming of</font>

593
00:26:02,760 --> 00:26:05,760
<font color="#00ffff"># If you need me</font>
<font color="#00ffff">you know where I'll be</font>

594
00:26:05,760 --> 00:26:10,320
<font color="#00ffff"># I'll be riding shotgun</font>
<font color="#00ffff">underneath the hot sun</font>

595
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:12,320
<font color="#00ffff"># Feeling like a someone... #</font>

596
00:26:13,520 --> 00:26:15,600
<font color="#ffff00">Sorry, George... George...</font>
<font color="#00ffff"># I'll be riding... #</font>

597
00:26:15,600 --> 00:26:17,600
<font color="#ffff00">George, sorry.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">We had no idea...</font>

598
00:26:17,600 --> 00:26:18,760
<font color="#ffffff">TURNS HEATER OFF</font>

599
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:21,960
<font color="#ffff00">We had no idea, absolutely no idea</font>
<font color="#ffff00">it was gonna go on that long.</font>

600
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:24,000
<font color="#00ffff">Oh...</font>
<font color="#ffffff">LAUGHTER</font>

601
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,560
<font color="#ffff00">So we're obliged...we're</font>
<font color="#ffff00">obliged to get you a little bit of</font>
<font color="#ffff00">food and that.</font>

602
00:26:26,560 --> 00:26:30,000
<font color="#ffff00">We've got some meat, some tinned</font>
<font color="#ffff00">potatoes and some chewing gum,</font>

603
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:31,800
<font color="#ffff00">so I'll... I'll leave it over there</font>
<font color="#ffff00">for you.</font>

604
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:34,640
<font color="#ffffff">Did you put the chewy on there?</font>
<font color="#ffff00">He's got the chewing gum. Yeah.</font>

605
00:26:34,640 --> 00:26:37,840
<font color="#ffff00">Sorry, just didn't know</font>
<font color="#ffff00">that it'd be on and on.</font>

606
00:26:37,840 --> 00:26:39,360
<font color="#ffff00">So, thanks, George.</font>

607
00:26:39,360 --> 00:26:40,440
<font color="#00ffff">No worries.</font>

608
00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:42,160
<font color="#ffff00">Keep you warm, though.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">That's important.</font>

609
00:26:42,160 --> 00:26:43,480
<font color="#ffff00">George Ezra!</font>

610
00:26:43,480 --> 00:26:45,600
<font color="#ffffff">HEATER WHIRS</font>

611
00:26:45,600 --> 00:26:49,480
<font color="#00ffff"># I'll be riding shotgun</font>
<font color="#00ffff">underneath the hot sun</font>

612
00:26:49,480 --> 00:26:51,920
<font color="#00ffff"># Feeling like a someone</font>

613
00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:57,880
<font color="#00ffff"># I'll be riding shotgun</font>
<font color="#00ffff">underneath the hot sun</font>

614
00:26:57,880 --> 00:27:01,080
<font color="#00ffff"># Feeling like a someone</font>

615
00:27:01,080 --> 00:27:05,560
<font color="#00ffff"># We're south of the equator,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">navigator</font>

616
00:27:05,560 --> 00:27:08,280
<font color="#00ffff"># Gotta hit the road</font>

617
00:27:08,280 --> 00:27:10,120
<font color="#00ffff"># Gotta hit the road</font>

618
00:27:10,120 --> 00:27:12,280
<font color="#00ffff"># Deep-sea diving round the</font>
<font color="#00ffff">clock</font>

619
00:27:12,280 --> 00:27:14,160
<font color="#00ffff"># Bikini bottoms, lager tops</font>

620
00:27:14,160 --> 00:27:16,520
<font color="#00ffff"># I could get used... #</font>

621
00:27:16,520 --> 00:27:18,120
<font color="#ffffff">We've just gotta get off now.</font>

622
00:27:18,120 --> 00:27:19,640
<font color="#ffffff">HEATER OFF</font>

623
00:27:19,640 --> 00:27:22,480
<font color="#ffffff">We've got tickets for the wrestling.</font>
<font color="#ffff00">Got tickets for the wrestling.</font>

624
00:27:22,480 --> 00:27:23,960
<font color="#ffffff">We'll miss it if we don't go</font>
<font color="#ffffff">now. </font><font color="#00ffff">Oh, OK.</font>

625
00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:25,840
<font color="#ffff00">It does go on, don't it,</font>
<font color="#ffff00">George?</font>

626
00:27:25,840 --> 00:27:28,680
<font color="#ffffff">So, that's...</font>
<font color="#ffffff">We'll just leave you with this.</font>

627
00:27:28,680 --> 00:27:30,760
<font color="#ffffff">Look, there's, er... </font><font color="#ffff00">It's your</font>
<font color="#ffff00">farewell pack, you know.</font>

628
00:27:30,760 --> 00:27:32,960
<font color="#ffffff">There's your bus ticket</font>
<font color="#ffffff">and your train ticket.</font>

629
00:27:32,960 --> 00:27:35,320
<font color="#ffff00">Train ticket. And see, this little</font>
<font color="#ffff00">voucher here,</font>

630
00:27:35,320 --> 00:27:37,760
<font color="#ffff00">that gives you 30% off</font>
<font color="#ffff00">a meal deal on the train, yeah?</font>

631
00:27:37,760 --> 00:27:39,160
<font color="#00ffff">Oh!</font>

632
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,280
<font color="#ffff00">If you want an egg sandwich...</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Flapjack, flapjack.</font>

633
00:27:41,280 --> 00:27:43,240
<font color="#00ffff">Oh, flapjack. Yeah.</font>
<font color="#00ffff">That'd be brilliant, yeah.</font>

634
00:27:43,240 --> 00:27:45,840
<font color="#ffff00">What did you say flap...? Flapjacks</font>
<font color="#ffff00">aren't on the meal deal!</font>

635
00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:49,080
<font color="#ffff00">We'll leave you your farewell</font>
<font color="#ffff00">pack there with your grub.</font>

636
00:27:49,080 --> 00:27:50,360
<font color="#00ffff">Fantastic. Thank you.</font>

637
00:27:50,360 --> 00:27:52,080
<font color="#ffff00">Er...good luck with it.</font>

638
00:27:52,080 --> 00:27:53,640
<font color="#ffffff">The heating's on.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">HEATER WHIRS</font>

639
00:27:53,640 --> 00:27:55,920
<font color="#00ffff">Brilliant, thank you very much.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">Grub...</font>

640
00:27:55,920 --> 00:27:58,920
<font color="#ffff00">Cheers, George.</font>
<font color="#ffffff">See you.</font>

641
00:27:58,920 --> 00:28:02,280
<font color="#00ffff"># Time flies by in the yellow</font>
<font color="#00ffff">and green</font>

642
00:28:02,280 --> 00:28:06,000
<font color="#00ffff"># Stick around</font>
<font color="#00ffff">and you'll see what I mean</font>

643
00:28:06,000 --> 00:28:10,000
<font color="#00ffff"># There's a mountaintop</font>
<font color="#00ffff">that I'm dreaming of</font>

644
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:13,360
<font color="#00ffff"># If you need me</font>
<font color="#00ffff">you know where I'll be... #</font>

645
00:28:13,360 --> 00:28:14,600
<font color="#00ffff">VACUUM CLEANER WHIRS</font>

646
00:28:14,600 --> 00:28:17,880
<font color="#00ffff"># I'll be riding shotgun</font>
<font color="#00ffff">underneath the hot sun</font>

647
00:28:17,880 --> 00:28:20,280
<font color="#00ffff"># Feeling like a someone</font>

648
00:28:21,480 --> 00:28:25,440
<font color="#00ffff"># I'll be riding shotgun</font>
<font color="#00ffff">underneath the hot sun</font>

649
00:28:25,440 --> 00:28:28,280
<font color="#00ffff"># Feeling like a someone</font>

650
00:28:29,880 --> 00:28:31,920
<font color="#00ffff"># We got two in the front... #</font>
<font color="#ffffff">HEATER RATTLES</font>

651
00:28:31,920 --> 00:28:34,480
<font color="#00ffff"># Two in the back</font>

652
00:28:34,480 --> 00:28:36,400
<font color="#00ffff"># Sailing along</font>

653
00:28:36,400 --> 00:28:40,840
<font color="#00ffff"># And we don't look back,</font>
<font color="#00ffff">back, back... #</font>

654
00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:42,160
<font color="#00ffff">All right!</font>

655
00:28:45,360 --> 00:28:49,400
<font color="#00ffff"># I'll be riding shotgun</font>
<font color="#00ffff">underneath the hot sun</font>

656
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,040
<font color="#00ffff"># Feeling like a someone</font>

657
00:28:53,200 --> 00:28:57,040
<font color="#00ffff"># I'll be riding shotgun</font>
<font color="#00ffff">underneath the hot sun</font>

658
00:28:57,040 --> 00:28:59,360
<font color="#00ffff"># Feeling like a someone... #</font>